Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ Of Chocolate and Chores ❯ Of Chocolate and Chores ( Chapter 1 )

"Of Chocolate and Chores"

by Shella

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Summary: Kaworu Nagisa has arrived in Class 2-A, where something more powerful than Angels awaits him … (Shounen-ai) [Part 1 of the `Seashore' arc]

Genre: Romance

Pairing: Shinji / Kaworu

Warnings: Shounen-ai (boy + boy love), AU

Rating: PG

Archive: Just tell me where.

Feedback: Always welcome.

Disclaimer: If Neon Genesis Evangelion were mine, then this would not be a fanfiction, but a factual account. However, Shinji, Kaworu and the rest do not belong to me and I am making absolutely no money from this (but then again, who needs money to write this kind of stuff?).

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The school seemed dead as he walked through it, a mere shadow of the life and vibrancy it used to contain. Every room he peeked into, curious despite the fact that he wasn't strictly allowed to be experiencing emotion, was like a hollow shell. They had grouped all the students in similar age groups into the one class, so that once in a while a door would yield a narrow slice of a room containing perhaps a dozen pupils at most. But these were few and far between, and when the muted, subdued noise of the other children had faded behind him, Kaworu Nagisa's footsteps echoed dismally through empty corridors like a bloodless heartbeat.

He reflected on his place here as his feet followed those of his guide down labyrinthine halls, hearing the muffled sounds of life from within occasional rooms contrast with the rest of the seemingly deserted, lifeless school. As they passed the gym he was granted a moment's glimpse of a group of students, dwarfed by the vacant space around them, charging down the court after an erratically bouncing sphere. The enthusiasm, the effort, the excitement they expressed at a mere ball game, was so innocent and desperate at the same time - like they were determined to make the most of what was evidently going to be their last time in Japan, maybe even on Earth, if it was the last thing they did - that Kaworu felt a strange stirring in his chest. He identified it as pity.

The reflex action was to push the emotion back down, suppress it and ignore it since it could not be destroyed. But the silver-haired teenager did this with reluctance. He knew he should be more careful about becoming too human, too much like these mortal beings, because his Father had told him what would happen if he softened. Kaworu had accepted this risk when he chose to take human form, had known the dangers he faced and had assured his brethren that he would not be seduced. He would not fall, he would not become a weakling like their cousins the Lilim, he would not fail in his task.

But emotions were new to him and he enjoyed them. He liked the way certain experiences could make things happen to him inside, liked the way he could feel like he was flying or twisting without moving a muscle. Of course, it wasn't like he needed them, or that he couldn't give them up at a moment's notice without regret and longing - he just liked them. That was all.

"Well, here we are. Class 2-A."

Kaworu nodded at the guide as they halted beside yet another identical sliding wooden door. There was nothing visible to the eye that would distinguish this one from all the others. It held the same scruff marks, the same scratches and idle graffiti, the same history of maltreatment by the crowds passing through it every day. But it was another sense that made Kaworu Nagisa freeze - his ever-present but usually dormant premonition. Most of the time this sixth sense was quiet and unobtrusive, but the minute his hand touched the heavy oak door he felt the air suddenly become ten times as thick. Expectation hung heavy in the atmosphere, stifling him, suffocating him with an indistinct sense that something was about to happen. He didn't know what, he just knew that today would be a day to remember.

"Nagisa? Are you going to go in?" prompted his guide hesitantly. Kaworu forced himself to take a deep breath, releasing the tension the premonition had forced on him, and nodded, smiling at the other teenager in a reassuring manner. Like every other human who'd come into contact with the Angel's empathic powers, the dark-haired girl responded in kind, completely unwitting to Kaworu's subtle manipulation of her.

The crimson-eyed teenager gripped the handle of the door, feeling the sliding mechanism futilely resisting his strength as he pulled it open in one decisive motion. He steeled his nerves to confront whatever it was that awaited him in the classroom, feeling his premonition become a pulsing in his veins as it grew stronger.

Kaworu stepped past the door and presented a smile to the half-dozen fourteen-year-olds staring back at him. His eyes travelled over each face, searching and finding nothing remarkable, until he reached the red-haired girl who looked him up and down with an appraising, disdainful glance. A bit of information from his memory identified her as the pilot of Evangelion Unit 02, talented, tempestuous and gorgeous, and he granted her a slight nod of acknowledgment before his gaze moved on.

It fell on another girl, this one with pale blue hair and crimson eyes like blood, like his own. Rei Ayanami, pilot of Unit 00, an enigma created by man whose purpose not even Kaworu fully understood. Her emotionless face didn't flicker as he looked at her, then away.

When Kaworu's questing eyes fell on a slight boy with hair like chocolate and eyes like cobalt, he felt a powerful rush surging through his body, beginning at his heart and soaring outwards until every fibre of his being tingled with the whip of lightning called premonition. In that single instant, as Shinji Ikari's quiet gaze held his in a seemingly inescapable grip with no effort on the pilot's part, Kaworu understood the feeling of anticipation that had seized him as he stood outside the door. And he felt flooded with the knowledge that here was the trap he'd been warned of, here was the snare he'd taken the risk of stumbling into, here was the reason none of his brethren had chosen to take human form with human emotions. Here was Kaworu's doom … and he felt no desire to escape it.

Outwardly he showed no sign that everything he valued and lived for had just crumbled into nothing. There was nothing in his eyes, in his face, to betray the fact that his world had dissolved under his feet. It would have taken another empath to realise that Kaworu Nagisa had just fallen completely, helplessly, irrevocably in love.

To the world he presented a friendly, if somewhat apprehensive, face as he moved to sit down next to the Evangelion pilot who'd captured his heart in the space of an instant. The teacher, after checking him off on the roll, continued where he'd left off in a lecture about Second Impact, and everything proceeded as it had before, the only difference that one more seat in the room was occupied. Suppressing an urge to cast a surreptitious glance at the boy beside him, Kaworu opened his laptop and swiftly typed a message.

<|> Hello. My name is Kaworu Nagisa. You are Shinji Ikari, correct? <|>

He felt irrational nervousness beginning to tingle in his fingertips as he waited for a reply, not daring to glance at the captivating brunette. The crimson-eyed teen instead pretended to be completely relaxed, letting the teacher's monotone lecture slide over his head without comprehension like the other students.

The soft tap of fingers on a keyboard beside him made anticipation hum through Kaworu's veins once again, not the powerful sweep of premonition but something nearer and closer to mortal heart.

<|> Yes, that's me. How did you know? <|>

His fingers flew over the lettered squares as he replied.

<|> Excuse me if I am being rude, but you are rather unaware of your own importance. I am also an Evangelion pilot like you, I am the Fifth Child. <|> He paused, wondering how to convey the instant friendship he felt for the boy through typed messages. <|> It is nice to meet you. <|> There. That sounded like something the Lilim would say. He pressed `send'.

As Kaworu looked stoically out the window, he heard a soft intake of breath beside him. The sound made a small thrill run down his spine and the moments dragged until Shinji began hesitantly to type.

<|> I didn't know they'd found another pilot yet. I thought they would let Rei be a backup for Unit 01 or 02 <|>

<|> Nobody is really sure how or why NERV makes its decisions <|>

A long pause.

<|> It's nice to meet you, too, Nagisa-kun <|>

Kaworu felt a grin cross his face at the other boy's over-formality. With a soft light in his eyes that would have made any of his brothers or sisters scream in rage at their weak sibling, he let his feelings guide his fingers.

<|> Please, call me Kaworu, Ikari-kun <|>

He could hear the blush in Shinji's reply to his light teasing.

<|> You can call me Shinji <|>

<|> Charmed, I'm sure <|> Kaworu paused before hitting `send', inwardly debating whether or not to ask what he wanted to ask. The Angel of Free Will knew virtually nothing about Lilim mating rituals, nor indeed whether Shinji would mind that Tabris, in his human form at least, was the same gender as he. He mentally ground his teeth, wishing he'd spent more time investigating Lilim culture so he knew the correct course of action in this situation. Of course, such interest would have aroused his siblings' ire, their suspicions that their youngest brother would become too comfortable as one of them.

So now Kaworu wracked his brains, trying to think of an appropriate way to spend time with Shinji and be close with him. Finally, he hesitantly typed a message that seemed a woefully small step to his eyes. <|> Would you like to eat lunch with me? <|> The Lilim bonded over food, did they not?

<|> Yes <|>

The reply was as swift as a reflex action and Kaworu blinked. Then, before he could lift his hands to the keyboard again, another message followed it.

<|> I mean, yes, I would like to, if you wouldn't mind. <|>

The change in tone threw Kaworu slightly off. Here, evidently, was somebody who distrusted their instincts. The silver-haired teenager had never before encountered that human quality, or flaw, known as self-doubt, and was unsure of how to deal with it. Was he meant to reassure Shinji? Or to empathise and express a lack of faith in himself in turn? The latter would be difficult, as Kaworu had perfect faith in himself. It was his knowledge of Lilim customs that was culpable.

Cautiously the Fifth Child extended his empathic senses towards the young Ikari, trying to gauge the boy's nature and see if this self-doubt he'd just discovered reached very deep. What he discovered made interest flare in him like a lit match. Shinji was insecure in every facet of his personality, modest, unassuming, and self-effacing. He had no belief in his own worth. A powerful feeling of sympathy for the other teenager made Kaworu's heart ache and he had an urge to take Shinji in his arms and comfort him, reassure him that he was a wonderful, beautiful person more than deserving of anyone's affections. He had gained Kaworu's effortlessly.

Unfortunately he was deprived of his opportunity to reply to his beloved's message when the teacher snapped his book shut and announced the commencement of classroom chores.

Complaints in varying volumes, from the mutinous mutterings in front of him to the wailed objections of the Second Child, reached Kaworu as he sat wondering what he was meant to do. Then the other students were getting to their feet and he felt a brief, momentary touch on his arm that sent warmth spiralling inexplicably but delightfully through his frame. His inquiring gaze revealed that the one responsible for this sudden stirring of sensory delight was none other than his adored Shinji. The quiet elation this discovery produced was at once unexpected and familiar.

"C'mon, I'll show you what you're supposed to do."

The Angel's smile was grateful and sincere, but behind the thankfulness was the rapture of hearing his beloved one speak. With a deceptively cheerful verbal expression of gratitude, he followed the darker boy to the back of the room, where mops, brooms, buckets and cloths were all stored. There were enough items there for a small army to set to work, but when all hands in the room were occupied barely a fraction of them were gone.

"This sucks! Everyone keeps moving away and the ones that are left have to do even more work because they're all too cowardly to brave it alongside us!"

The strident tones of Unit 02's pilot careened through the room like a paper aeroplane and Kaworu got the distinct, powerful impression that the Second Child could do nothing quietly. Empathically he sensed a need for attention, for approval, from the girl although this was outwardly shielded by an armour of self-confidence.

What the crimson-eyed teenager was more interested in was the expression on Shinji's face. The quiet boy had flicked a glance at Asuka that said, as plain as words could state it, `Not again.' When he noticed Kaworu watching him, the pilot of Unit 01 blushed and mumbled nervously, "I get that all the time."

"I HEARD THAT YOU IDIOT!"

Shinji flinched at the punishing volume of the girl's words, but wasn't quick enough to dodge the damp cloth aimed at his head. It hit home with a dull, wet-sounding smack.

"Now - get - back - to - work!"

Each word was punctuated with a slap from the long tresses of a dry mop, not painful but startling, and by the time the fiery redhead flounced off to attend to her own desk both Shinji's cheeks were reddened from the skilfully wielded weapon. Kaworu blinked. His instinctive concern for his loved one warred for dominance with the knowledge that it was his fault Shinji had been attacked. Eventually they reached a compromise.

"I'm sorry about that Shinji-kun - are you all right?"

Rubbing his injured face, the slender brunette gave Kaworu a rueful smile. "It's all right, Kaworu-kun, I'm fine. It wasn't your fault, she gets like that whether anyone provokes her or not."

Impulsively the Angel reached out to cup the other boy's face in one hand, feeling the heated skin beneath his palm become even warmer at his touch as crimson sprang instantly to Shinji's cheekbones. The other boy's deep blue eyes were suddenly lit by sapphire, like a shaft of sunlight through the ocean, and Kaworu had the strangest sensation of abruptly being whole when he wasn't even aware he had been incomplete. The seductive spell of emotions had weaved the Angel of Free Will firmly into its web, and Tabris was doing nothing to fight it.

The touch lasted only a moment before a commotion up the other end of the room disturbed them and the enchanting contact ended. Shinji turned away to watch two of his classmates duelling with brooms on top of their desks, and Kaworu's soul gave a silent wail as it was torn in two again with the loss of proximity. He felt as though he would not feel truly happy again until he was with Shinji, as though contact with his beloved pilot was the only thing able to restore his inner peace.

In the classroom, in Tokyo 3, in Japan, life for the Lilim went on as it always had, as it seemingly always would. Time passed and the Earth spun.

And nobody in the world knew that the final Angel had just fallen.

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Fin.

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