Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ Practice ❯ Depression Split ( Chapter 14 )

“Shinji?”

The Third Child heard Misato through the music in his SDAT player -- The Rite of Spring -- but didn't acknowledge it. He was lying on his bed, facing the wall, his back to the door. Misato's outline was visible to him, the light from the hallway much brighter than Shinji's Lovely Unlit Suite.

She stood there for goodness knows how long -- it could have been seconds, it could have been days. Shinji didn't care. A distant part of him wondered why he took the Second's near-death so hard, and he attempted to think about that for a while before giving up. He couldn't even hold a coherent thought in his head at that moment.

Misato finally sighed in resignation and closed the door. That had been the third time Shinji had ignored her. He had no appetite. He barely slept, or moved for that matter. He was a wreck.

There was a chime as the doorbell was rung. Shinji could hear fading footsteps as Misato walked to the door to answer it.

“Shinji?”

It was Misato again, hoping that maybe she could invoke a response the fourth time. When he didn't answer, Misato continued. “There's someone here to see you.”

Shinji saw someone walk into his room and shut the door behind him. “Hey, Shinji.” It was Motowa.

Shinji felt a weight settle on his bed as Motowa sat down. “Um, you haven't been to class lately, so I brought you the work you missed... Oh, who am I kidding, Shinji, I came here because you need help. You've been like this since the last time you saw Asuka, and it kills me to see you in this much pain.”

Shinji felt even more pain at the realization that he was hurting everyone around him as well. “You can't just stay like this forever, you have to face the world. It misses you. Toji, Kensuke, Hikari, everyone from your class misses you.” Motowa's voice was cracking. “I miss you.”

Shinji finally turned onto his back to look at Motowa. Through the dim light, he could see her pained face, the tears in her eyes. “You don't know how much I missed being able to talk with you these last four days.”

An emotional wall Shinji didn't even know he had broke at the look on Motowa's face. “I-I'm sorry, Motowa...” he said, sitting up and wrapping his arms around her. “I'm sorry.” He repeated in a whisper, tears starting to fall from his own eyes. She cares. Shinji thought. She really cares.

Motowa mimicked the gesture, hugging Shinji tight to her. “Don't be sorry... just come back to us, Shinji. There are a lot of people that love you, and you're deceiving yourself if you think it'll be easier to avoid them. You need them, and they need you.”

They sat like that for a long time, until their tears had run out. Motowa pulled back to stare into Shinji's eyes. “Motowa... thank you.”

“Hey, I don't mind. What's a girlfriend for, if not emotional support?”

Shinji laughed, something he couldn't have even considered doing a few minutes ago. “I've got to go, I wasn't planning on staying long, but I'm glad to see you're feeling better.” Motowa got up.

“You're not staying?”

“'O fortune, fortune, all men call thee fickle.'”

“Romeo and Juliet?” Shinji guessed.

“Act three, scene five.” Motowa replied.

“You were always good with quotes.”

“Thank you.” Motowa walked to the door. “I meant everything I said, you know.”

“I know. Thank you for saying it.”

“See you in school tomorrow.” Motowa said, sounding more like a command than an expectation.

Shinji chuckled. “Yeah, I'll be there.”

Motowa left, sliding the door closed behind her. Shinji fell back again, suddenly aware of how little he'd slept. He closed his eyes, and for the first time in days, fell into a relatively peaceful sleep.

---

“Mmmnnmgn...”

Shinji groggily regained consciousness, having to squint in the blue-tinted light of NERV's hospital ward. He could dimly recall how he got here, the Sea of Dirac Angel and his mathematically impossible escape from it. He heard the shift of fabric to his left and tilted his head to look at the source of the noise, Ayanami Rei sitting beside his bed. When he realized that, he sat up. “You can just rest today. We'll take care of everything.” She said.

Shinji was used to Rei's lack of preamble by now. “But I'm fine now.”

“Well, that's good for you.”

A sense of déjà vu hit Shinji so hard that it hurt. That's exactly what Mother said in... Shinji paused when he realized that he didn't know exactly what to call it. Was it a dream? A vision? A near-death experience? Was he talking to his mother, or just a memory? Questions poured into his mind quicker than he could think about them, and he barely noticed the door sliding open to his right. “Hi, Rei.” Shinji heard Motowa say, her voice much more solemn than he had been used to hearing.

Shinji could almost hear Rei blink as she stopped in the doorway. “How were you able to get in here?”

“It's amazing what can be overlooked for a pretty face.” Motowa said with an audible smirk. “Is he alright?”

“Yes.” Rei replied, beginning to walk again.

“See you in class tomorrow.” Motowa said to Rei before walking into Shinji's room.

“Hi, Motowa, I-- oomph!” Shinji was able to get out before the orange-haired girl ran over and hugged him tightly.

“I'm so glad you're alright...” Motowa said, her voice wavering.

“It's alright, Motowa...” Shinji said. “...unless you crush me to death...”

Motowa paused for a second, then loosened her grip on Shinji to allow him to breathe. “Sorry...”

“No, it's fine. I know how much you care about me.” Shinji managed a smile.

“Good, because I care about you a lot.”

Neither one moved for a few seconds, before Motowa started to lean forward. He could still taste the LCL in his mouth, and said “I wouldn't recommend that.”

“Why not?” Motowa asked, and kissed him anyway.

Almost as soon as her lips met his, her eyes widened as the smell and taste of blood reached her. Motowa pulled back, making a face. “Bleauh!” She squealed.

“I tried to warn you...” Shinji said, trying to keep a straight face and failing miserably.

“Yes, you did.” She said, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand. “Exactly why do you smell like you bathed in blood?”

“Has to do with how I pilot. They submerge me in this stuff that-- well, I can't say, but it unfortunately smells and tastes like blood.”

“Submerge? You mean it's a breathable liquid?”

“Yeah. But don't tell anyone, I've said too much already.”

Motowa nodded. “I understand.”

Shinji heard the door slide open with an audible hiss to his right. He glanced past Motowa to see Ritsuko walk in the room. “Good morning, Shinji.” Ritsuko greeted Shinji without looking up from her clipboard, oblivious to Motowa's presence.

“Good morning, Ritsuko-san.” Shinji said.

“Good to see that you're up.” Ritsuko stopped right in front of Motowa, who had turned around to face the blonde doctor. “Are you feeling fatigued, or...” Ritsuko finally looked up and blinked as she realized that Motowa was looking up at her and not Shinji.

“Hi.” Motowa said.

“Hello. Ritsuko returned. “And you are...”

“I'm a friend of Shinji's.” Motowa replied, and at Ritsuko's expectant stare added “Shimano Motowa.”

“And how, may I ask, did you get in here?”

“I found out where Shinji was staying from Misato, and talked the guards into letting me in.”

Ritsuko looked slightly annoyed. “How do you know Shinji?”

“She's my girlfriend.” Shinji spoke up suddenly, making Ritsuko glance around Motowa.

“I see.” Ritsuko wasn't entirely apologetic, but she did understand.

She focused on Motowa again. “Unfortunately, Motowa-kun, I have to run a battery of tests on Shinji now, so I'm going to have to ask you to leave.”

“No problem. Shinji says he's fine, and I believe him. Besides the fact that he smells like blood.”

Ritsuko chuckled. “LCL will do that.”

Motowa walked around Ritsuko to the door. “See you in school tomorrow, hopefully, Shinji.”

“I hope so too, Motowa.” Shinji replied as the orange-haired girl walked out of the hospital room.

Ritsuko cleared her throat after a few moments, snapping Shinji out of his momentary reverie. “Can you get out of bed?”

Shinji blinked. “Oh, um...” He was able to stand up with minimal difficulty.

“Good. Now if you'll walk around the room for me...?”

---

Wow, I did not expect these two scenes to be so long. But I just kept finding things for these characters to say, and they kept talking.

To end the small mystery about the two bodyguards with Shinji last chapter, they were from Serial Experiments Lain. Karl's name is only said once in the series, and only then just his first name. Lin's name is never said, but I saw it on the internet, so it must be true...

Anyway, I was struggling with the idea of what was Splitting of the Breast for about a day, wondering if Shinji, now out of the equation, would take point regardless of Asuka volunteering him or not. Shinji's depression never really affects his sync ratio all along the series, and so his score still ranks far above Rei's regardless of Asuka's half-death. (Splitting of the Breast, in its entirety, takes place after the first scene.)

Anyway, I appear to be getting into a rhythm again. I know pretty much exactly what the next chapter, or chapters, depending on how long these scenes end up, are gonig to turn out. It may be possible to guess what I'm going to do with the next few episodes of NGE. Let me put it this way -- there will still be three evas operating.

Oh, and to clarify, Asuka isn't awake, per se, but her brain activity indicates that she is. To the outside world, she's comatose. And yes, I do realize that in the original update, I screwed up my own plot line. Brain-fart. It's all good now.

-update #2- OKAY. I think I've got them all now. Never have I made such a plot screwup in my life. As soon as Practice is completed, I swear I'm going to have to commit seppuku.