Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ Problem Child ❯ Chapter 5 ( Chapter 5 )

So, here I go again. Disclaimer in the first chapter.

I guess I should add some author notes or something so here goes. I have no idea where this story is going. Yup, not a clue. There are some vague ideas on encounters that would change during the series and such and I have a few ideas for a plot, but nothing has really sat solid with me. What does this mean for you, the reader? Not much really. I guess you can stick around for the ride and pray to whatever god or gods you worship that I stick with this. I'm more then likely going to have to go over my other chapters and add some explanations on different terms and such that I'm pretty sure some people will not understand. Damn me for being too worldly. Well, then, on with the show.
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"Aida Kensuke!"

Aida flinched at the shout and the two female hands slamming down on his desk and knocking the camera he was currently checking the video on. Looking up as he fumbled to prevent damage to his camera he met with the very pissed off eyes of Hikari Horaki. "C-class rep!"

Hikari was pissed to say the lease. For the last 3 weeks her new thorn in her side, Yuko Ikari, had done everything she could to give her problems as class rep. From ignoring any and all complains that she had given to her to the bad habit she had of skipping cleaning duty. It also appeared she seemed to recruit Rei to her side. They both seem to have grown closer over the time Yuko had been around. The two of them would walk to school in the morning, talk during breaks quietly or just hang out as Yuko napped on Rei's desk as the other girl read a book. The final nail that convinced the class rep that one of the best student's in the class had been perverted was when she spotted the two of them on the roof eating lunch. Rei had pointed something out in Yuko's lunch and Yuko lifted up what looked like some cucumber salad with her chopsticks and hold it out for Rei. The blue haired girl closed her eyes, leaned forward and opened her mouth to accept the morsel of food. To Hikari's shock, Yuko got this big grin on her face and quickly shoved the food into her own mouth then pushed forward, claiming Rei's lips and from the looks of it transfer the food into the other girl's mouth. But it didn't end there. For a moment she expected Rei to pull back from the bold action with the way her eyes seem to open in shock, but no, Rei's eyes seem to glaze over and she pushed back against the kiss. Not that Hikari was keeping track, but the kiss finally stopped when the warning bell for lunch rang. Both girls pulled a part with a light blush on their cheeks and quickly finished their food. Hikari was stuck there in shock before she shook herself out of it and ran downstairs too embarrassed to confront the girls about not eating lunch on the roof.

Even with all this going on she still tried to maintain order in the classroom and did her best ignoring the new pair of sudden lesbians that seemed to have no restraint in their show of affections for each other. But walking into the class and seeing the assignments she had given to Aida to give to Toji Suzuhara still sticking out of the boy's bag was the last straw, and the poor geek would suffer the wrath that could not be given to Ikari. Skipping out on giving assignments to students that missed school had now become the act of a depraved deviant in the Class Rep's mind and it was time for some punishment. "I can see that you followed my request about Suzuhara's homework."

Aida shivered slightly at the cold tone Hikari used on him. "It couldn't be helped class rep! Toji hasn't been home at all and the same goes for his father and sister." Flinching back as she thrust her face right up to him Aida almost fell out of his seat.

"So you didn't think of putting it in his mail box?"

"There would be no point to that if he was never home. Trust me, I have check for the last 2 weeks. No one has even checked the mail."

"Yo, Tails let the geek have a break." Hikari turned a heated glare at the new bane of her existence. Currently Yuko Ikari was leaning back on her desk with her feet propped. Gone was the red and blue hair she was sporting last week and in its place was purple hair with lime colored highlights. When she pointed out that one's hair did not naturally change color over the weekend, Yuko threatened to drag her into the bathroom to prove it. The argument ended there, much to Hikari's relieve. Right now the girl wasn't even looking at her, but instead was reading some music book with English on the cover. Hikari wasn't sure what 'Classic Death Metal Tabs' was, but it couldn't be good. "He said he didn't find your boyfriend. Next time why don't you just take the paper's yourself and maybe give this Toji a bit of poontang to sweat out any sickness the guy has."

"He is not my BOYFRIEND!" Turning and leaning in on Aida, Hikari quickly whispered in his ear. "Find out what the hell 'poontang' is."

"You sure class rep? You're leaning pretty close to my buddy there. Should I leave and give you both some private time?"

One could describe the color of the pigtailed girl's face it wouldn't be pale, it would be white, right until her freckled cheeks started to burn bright red. Looking up Hikari came face to face with the former number one class problem, one Toji Suzuhara. The boy stood over the two students in school track suit with his hands shoved in his pockets. Aida looked up where he was finishing up typing in a search on the class reps request. "Hiya Toji. Where have you been the last few weeks? I tried calling, but no one answering the phone."

"Yah, about that. I was in the hospital with my sister taking care of paper work and her since the last attack." Toji's face turned into a grimace. "Some debris from the last attack fell on her when that stupid robot was stomping around the city. What the hell was that pilot thinking fighting that monster inside the city! I see that guy I'm gonna give him a good pounding."

As Toji was standing there shaking his fist a stack of papers was thrust into his chest. He blinked his eyes in surprise at the class rep who was giving him a stern glare as she held the papers against him. "You should have called the school so we could send your missing assignments." Once she was sure he had a good hold on the papers, the girl let go of them. "We were really worried about you. You could have-"

Hikari was interrupted by Aida tapping her side and turning the laptop computer on the desk toward her and Toji. "Found out what 'poontang' is class rep. Let me just click this first image link." All three of the student's eyes grew wide at the sight. Toji quickly wiped the blood that suddenly tried to leave his nose and turned away from sight before him. Aida was a bit more dramatic about it and had to grab his nose to prevent the spray and went a little pale. As for the class rep her face went bright red then she turned and slapped both of the boy's next to her upside the head.

"AIDA! GET that SMUT off the SCHOOL COMPUTER!" She turned sharply to the loud laughter coming from across the room. Yuko was currently making a valiant attempt to stay in her seat as she laughed her ass off at the sight of the three looking at their web search. "You knew that it would come up with this trash, didn't you!" Yuko wiped the tears from her eyes as she sit down the book she was reading. "You would think the school computers would have filters for that sort of stuff. Shame on you Tails, getting those poor boys to look up porn on school computers." Grinning she added, "Granted, not the first choice to get boy's interested in you, but they as coming into manhood with them hormones and all, so I guess that will work. Go easy on her guys, she's cherry."

Rei turned back from the window she was looking out of to watch as Yuko was chased around the room by the class rep. Sighing quietly she turned back to the window. The scene was just a repeat of what usually happened about once or twice a week. She had no doubt that Yuko would walk away from it without any repercussions. A small smile graced her lips as she wondered what Yuko had made for their lunch was today. She seemed to delight in trying new vegetarian recipes for the red eyed girl giving her an appreciation for food that was not instant or poorly made like what she did in her apartment.
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"That's just… twisted." Toji Suzuhara's eye twitched as he looked in the video camera's viewer that his friend was holding for him. It was currently showing the footage of when Yuko demonstrated to Hikari that her hair was natural. "And things like this have been happening ever since?"

Aida shook his head. "Yup, like one long cat fight. It's been hell on the rest of the class as well because Hikari has been on this Super Class Rep kick."

Toji pushed the camera away for the moment and leaned back on his chair. "So, what was the other thing you wanted to tell me?"

"Umm… I'm not so sure I should tell you right now. You might end up doing something that you'll regret later."

It took about a minute of Aida in a head lock getting one of the harshest noogies in the world before he finally gave in. "I heard Rei Ayanami call the new girl 'Pilot Ikari' and she did show up right after that monster attack. Unless they are passing out piloting licenses to 14 year olds that could only mean that she is related to that giant robot." The bespectacled boy flinched back at the low growl that Toji was putting out on hearing that news.

"So, the new girl has not only made Hikari's life hell but she could be the pilot that hurt my sister?" Having one's knuckles clinched so hard that they turn white and the finger nails of the hand cut the palm can't be healthy Aida thought.

"Listen, Toji, it hasn't been confirmed yet. Plus, she is a girl, you can't just walk up and punch her out."

"You right, but I will at least get an apology out of the bitch if she the robot pilot." Toji turned Kensuke. "That is what you're going to find out."

Kensuke sighed and started up the classroom IM program. A few quick messages to the more chatty girls in the class started the rumor mill going.
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"So, after I served her 'haggis' Misato got me a Japanese cookbook. Something about me expanding my range of cooking because the current fair is a bit rich for her stomach. That and my brother's old cooking notebook he sent me is giving me a lot of practice. So today I made yakisoba for lunch." Yuko was currently sitting on top of Rei's desk as the other girl was reading some unknown science journal on changes to ecosystems after 2nd Impact.

"That will be acceptable. I cannot normally eat the instant packages of that food because they contain dehydrated meat." If Rei gave any sort of disagreement over the fact her desk was being used as a lounge chair every break she gave no indication. She was quite proud of the fact she was mastering how to multi-task talking to her fellow pilot and reading at the same time. The problem with this arrangement occurred though when the computer under Yuko's butt beeped twice making the girl jump up slightly and dividing Rei's attention to a third direction.

Huffing in annoyance, Rei opened up the computer and was greeted with a message. 'Are you the pilot of that giant robot?' Yuko looked over her shoulder as well reading the message. "Think it is for you or me?"

"I do not know." Rei panned her sight around the room and landed on a group of girls waving at them. "I believe those would be the classmates that sent the message." The computer beeped again with a 'Are you? Y/N'.

"Here, let me." Yuko reached over Rei's shoulders with her arms, wrapping the blue haired girl in a loose hug to access the keyboard. "Is being pilot's some type of top secret agent thing?"

"No, the school administration has been informed of our status as EVA pilot's to make it easier for us to leave in case of an attack." Nodding at Rei's reply Yuko began typing. 'Yup, and I'm also Peter Pan and Kitten here moonlights as Tinker Bell.

The group of girls turned in shock at the reply to stare at the pair of girls then quickly turned away when Yuko returned the stares with a heated glare as she kissed the side of Rei's neck. Smiling, Yuko swung back around and propped herself right back on Rei's desk. "Answered the question and avoided them running over here like rabid ferrets on pixy sticks." Rei nodded and opened her book back up as Yuko started to lightly dose.
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Yuko had just gotten the lunch she made for her and Rei out from under her desk when that kid in the track suit she had mostly ignored for the day stomped over to her desk. Sighing she set the box lunch down and looked up. Instead of the adoring stare of some prepubescent boy trying to make a very awkward confession to a complete stranger she met a stern glare and a frown. One eyebrow rose up at the sight. "Meet me outside between the gym and school, new girl." Then the boy turned and stomped out of the classroom.

"The fuck?" Yuko turned to Rei. "That was that Toji kid, right?"

"Correct."

"Does he normally offer to confess his feelings for a girl by ordering her around or did I miss something about how guys court girls?"

"I am unclear on most 'courting' activities but I do believe that a man is supposed to do such a thing in private."

Yuko sighed. "Well, want to come with me. We can eat out in the yard afterward."

"Are you going to accept his courtship?" The pierced girl smiled at the quiet way Rei said that. When she lowered her voice it was a good sign of her disapproval.

"Nah never had an interest in boys. I'm just going to go there and let the big guy down easy. Maybe tell him to go after the class rep because if anyone needs their panties dusted off, it's that chick. I swear, she must have rules on how she masturbates the way she is so uptight."

Yuko wasn't sure, but there might have been a faint smile on Rei's face.
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"Are you sure you want to do this Toji? I understand you're pissed about your sister and I'm worried for her as well, but this is the pilot that saved the city. Plus, I hear rumors about NERV having something like a mercenary security force that is one step away from being Yakuza." Kensuke looked around the open area between the gym and school. He could swear that there were eyes on both him and his best friend waiting to put a bullet in them for being stupid enough to mess with a pilot. "And I thought you didn't hit girls."

Grabbing his friend in a headlock, Toji bent his head low. "I don't hit girls, but I still want to give the stupid bitch a piece of my mind and drag an apology out of her for my sister."

Gridding his teeth as his head was being crushed Kensuke spotted the two girls enter the alleyway with Yuko in the lead. At about 20 feet away, Rei broke off and sat down, opening up a bento box and began eating her lunch. Yuko stopped in front of the two boys and stared silently.

"Umm… Toji let me go." The said boy released his friend's head giving Kensuke time to circle around and stand next to where Rei was eating lunch.

"Listen up New Girl. You-"

Whatever he was going to say was interrupted when Yuko held up her hand. "Ok, stop right there lover boy. Before you get started on your long and possibly very embarrassing confession to me I should just tell you right now, I'm not interested."

Toji stood there with his mouth still open in shock.

"I understand, you saw this girl with some awesome piercings, a cool tattoo and great taste in hair color and 'Goddess' came to your mind, or something similar. I'm here to tell you that I'm not interested." Yuko nodded her head with her eyes closed. Yup, best to cut this sort of thing down before it got out of hand.

The jock shook himself. "But, wait-"

Without missing a beat, Yuko ran over him again. "Listen, you're not bad looking, so just go for some other girl in the class." Yuko sniffed the air a bit. "Well, go after some other girl after you take a bath. Grab some deodorant as well. Girls aren't much into the smell of your sweat."

"Hey!" Ok, now he was getting pissed off.

"And really, when was the last time you washed them sweats? You can't have more than two pair of them. That's a lot of pit and ball sweat that can build up to some nasty BO."

Kensuke stood there in shock. The new girl just told Toji that he stank of BO. From the way the other boy's body was shaking he was sure there was about to be violence coming forth.

"NOW JUST YOU WAIT BITCH!" Toji roared at Yuko who had started to walk away after letting the guy down easy and giving him some tips on picking up girls. Yuko's head turned around to look over her shoulder, her eyes cold after hearing they boy call her a bitch.

"Huh… listen, we are done here. I said no, now be a man and suck it up that I'm not interested."

"I an't interested in a flat chested Ganguro whore!" Nearly spitting it out of his mouth in anger he finished. "Your stupid piloting put my little sister in the hospital and I want an apology out of you!"

Yuko turned fully around and walked back up to him. Staring him in the eye from about three feet away she spoke. "No."

"What?" Toji was turning red with a lethal cocktail of rage and embarrassment.

"You deaf? I said no. I'm not apologizing for piloting that robot, saving my Kitten's life and protecting the city and your worthless life. Your sister got hurt, that sucks. But it sure as hell beats her being dead." Yuko ended her explanation with a one finger salute.

"Listen up bitch! I'm asking nicely here. If you were a guy I would have already beat your ass. Why the hell would they have girls pilot them things anyway? A guy probably wouldn't have fucked it up as bad as you did!"

Kensuke looked at the coming altercation with trepidation. His best friend was seriously pissed off and he wasn't sure if Toji's moral outlook on girls would hold up against his anger right now. Just as he was about to step forward and try to stop the coming fight a small hand grab his sleeve. He looked back into the red eye of Rei Ayanami as she shook her head in a negative manner. "Interfering with Pilot Ikari right now would not be good."

"What do you mean Ayanami?" A loud ripping sound was the answer to his question. Looking back toward his best friend and Yuko he saw the source of the noise. Yuko had grabbed the edge of her school skirt and tore it up the side to the waistline. Toji had turned to the side and failed to see what just happen, or the stance that Yuko suddenly took with a stern look on her face.

"Everyone knows that a girl can never fight like a guy. To even try is a waste of time. What was NERV thinking when-" Toji's speech was interrupted by a high spin kick taking him in the back of the head. As he spun around in the air from the force of the blow he couldn't help but notice that Yuko had a very bold pair of black lace nearly see through side-tie panties that pulled very tight against her sex as she finished the rest of her spin and fell back into a loose martial art stance. Yuko exhaled and cracked her neck, slightly bouncing on her feet as Toji landed face first in a heap eating dirt. "Can't fight asshole? Get the fuck up so I can properly kick your ass!"

A low growl came from the ground as Toji pushed himself up. With a casual swipe with the back of his hand, he wiped the blood from a cut above his right eye where it cracked on the ground. "That's it! You want to play with the boys bitch, we play!" With a burst of speed he launched toward the girl with a haymaker. Don't hit girls be damned, this lady was a demon. All rules were out.

Kensuke looked back at Ayanami for some sort of explanation. "Pilot Ikari has had training in both military self-defense and she has taken both Kung Fu and Jujitsu for over 6 years. She has not shown any signs of not keeping up with practice." The look of horror on Kensuke's face would have been funny, if it didn't involve his best friend about to take on a monster girl.

The fist that should have shoved them damn piercings through the bitch's skull never landed. Yuko slid to the right of the fist, letting it almost graze her ear. Her left hand blocked and grabbed the boy's wrist and her right hand formed a fist, slamming Toji in his solar plexus blowing all his air out of his lungs with a gasp. That same fist drew back, opened to a palm and pushed up against his upper arm. In one smooth motion Yuko had spun around, slammed her hip into his side and pulled him over her shoulder in a throw that looked like it shouldn't have been done by a girl her size. Toji for a moment felt the joys of flight as he flipped over in the air, before he landed with a blast of dust on his back in the dirt. His vision went black with the lack of oxygen in his lungs and the sight of Yuko's grim face looking down on him.

Yuko dusted off her hands, kicked a bit of dirt in the boy's face and walked back to where Kensuke and Rei stood, one with a shocked look on his face and the other with a stoic look. Ignoring the trembling geek backing away from her in fear, she leaned in on Rei and smiled. "Was the yakisoba good?"

"It was enjoyable." Rei passed the box over to her. "I could not eat my entire share so you may have that with yours."

Eyeing the strange girl as she devoured the lunch, Kensuke quickly walked over to where Toji laid in the dirt. "Man, Toji you ok?" Shaking his friend a bit only garnered a slight cough. Kensuke looked over his friend and his injuries. "I think you lucked out man. Bruised sternum, looks like a nice concussion and a nasty gash over your eye. I think that might be a black eye as well, but no broken bones."

Toji blinked up at Kensuke as the world tried to stop that damn spinning. His friend was saying something about how bad he hurt, but that was pointless. He could feel every bruise and scrape on him. The worse was his pride although. Nothing like having your ass kicked by a perceived weak girl to do a number on the ego. "How long was I out Kensuke?"

"Only for about a minute. I think she took it easy on you." Looking over his still prone friend at Yuko and Rei he noticed both girls seemed to have disregarded the two boys. "That had to be one of the most one sided fights I've seen."

"Felt like one of the most one sided fights I've been in." Toji lifted up his head at the sound of a cellphone going off. "Now I'm hearing… what the hell am I hearing?"

Kensuke pushed up his glasses and looked toward where Yuko was pulling a cellphone out of her skirt pocket and answering it. Strangely Rei was doing the same with her cellphone. Rei must have had hers on a buzz function, but Yuko's was some strange musical ringtone Kensuke had to rack his brain on. "Dead Man's Party. Oingo Boingo. Some American band from the 1980s."

Toji laid his head back down. "I will not ask how you know that, just say that you have to be a hell of a geek for it."

The girl's got up and walked back toward the two boys. Yuko kicked Toji lightly in the side getting a healthy grunt from the boy and a 'bitch'. "Angel attack guys. Get up, get to a shelter and let us girls go take care of it." She looked hard at Kensuke. "Make sure he has someone check him out when he gets there or I'll kick your ass too."

With a very audible gulp, Kensuke nodded an affirmative.
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"Ok, just like your training Yuko. The angel already made landfall and will be entering into Tokyo-3 proper in about five minutes." Misato was trying her best to keep her emotions in check. They hadn't even finished the cleanup from the 3rd angel and now the 4th one was attacking.

"Yah, I got you. When I get up there, locate the angel, neutralize it's AT field and give it a nice healthy dose of depleted uranium rounds." Yuko stretched out on the control couch in an attempt to loosen up as she waited for the elevator up. "Will this thing be like the last monster?"

"We have some sat images. I'll have Lt. Ibuki upload the images for you." Ritsuko nodded over to her assistant who started the upload to the EVA.

Yuko looked at the image that popped up on the screen. "It's a giant purple caterpillar? Well, that or a giant purple flying dick." Yuko suddenly started laughing. "Pervert Angel came to Japan to rape young school girls. Someone better stop beaming bad anime hentai movies into space. The Angels are adapting to the pervy subculture of Japan."

Misato gave a harsh glare to the bridge crew that was snickering. "Enough wild fantasies Yuko. Unless the thing grows tentacles I wouldn't worry about if it was here to rape school girls. And need I remind you that the closest school girl would be you. Prepare EVA for launch."

As the G-forces pressed against her body for the second time in the giant biomech, Yuko grinned. She could move the monster, had better weapons and weeks of training. Going over her first battle she saw her mistakes so she felt confident in getting this over soon. "Gonna end this fucker quick. We'll have curry tonight to celebrate Nee-chan."

"Stop calling me that!" Misato suddenly froze up and turned her head woodenly back to look at the rest of the bridge crew. The only people without wide eyes at the younger girl calling the captain 'Nee-chan' were the Commander and Sub-commander. Something clicked in Misato's head that she should clarify Yuko's last statement. "Umm... she looks up to me as an older sister and all. Just got into the habit of calling me by that nickname."

"In bed." Came the reply from the speakers followed by the scream of frustration from the Captain.
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"Damn it Hikari! Go a bit easier on me. That is still tender." Toji winced again as the class rep wiped some more dirt out of the cut above his eye. Currently said eye was nearly swollen shut and almost glowing black and blue.

Huffing slightly at the baby she was nursing, she turned and started to cut some butterfly bandages to close up the still oozing wound. "So, you tried to get Ikari to give you an apology and she beat you up? I thought you were above fighting girls Toji."

The jock turned his head away from the pigtailed girl. "It's not my fault. That bitch thought I was trying to hit on her and even after I explained I didn't call her out for that she still refused to apologize for hurting my sister."

Pinning the cut closed with the bandages and taping some gauze over it she sighed. "Ikari is trouble Toji. Back off and let the school handle trouble makers like her."

"You got mad at her as well right? Kensuke showed me the recording he had taken on her first day." Toji clinched his fist. "I should have been there to help you out." "D-don't worry about it. Things have calmed down somewhat with her. I think Rei might be helping keep her in check." It was either fate or bad luck Toji was turned away and missed the glowing blush the class rep had going over his comment.

Toji gave a slight laugh. "Yah, Rei kept Ken-man from trying to jump to my defense. If she didn't do that than you would probably be patching up his skinny ass as well. Still, how did the Ice Queen that doesn't talk to anyone end up becoming friends with that loud mouth bitch?"

Hikari looked away with a slight blush still on her cheeks. "Um… Toji? Did you see anything odd with how Ayanami and Ikari acted?"

Poking at his bandage the jock noticed her change of tone. "Nooo… they just seemed to be good friends." Leaning in closer to the class rep he noticed her face glow a bit brighter. "Is there something you noticed?"

"Well…" It took a few minutes, but after having to explain to Toji what she saw on the roof and how the two acted around each other the slightly slow jock finally got it.

"Wait, girls actually do that outside of porn videos?"

The swift punch to his arm wasn't expected. "What do you mean porn videos!" He winced back from the harsh glare she was giving him.

"Umm…" 'Shit' he thought. No way out of it. Hanging his head in shame he explained. "Kensuke snuck some of his dad's videos out this one time I was over hanging out. When it had a scene with two girls and I asked him if all girls do that he said 'No, they just do it to give a show for the guys.' Seemed to make sense to me."

"I'll kill him." Toji had never seen someone actually put out a battle aura before, but it did make him excuse himself and run off to warn his friend.
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"Ok, so the class rep might be out for my blood?" Kensuke was standing before the urinal taking care of business with Toji two urinals down (Safe guy distance to prevent accidentally checking out another man's junk.) doing the same. His friend had come up to him and dragged him away with a cryptic 'I'm saving your life, fool' comment.

Shaking twice, Toji zipped up his pride. "Yup, she sort of dragged out of me that one time we watched your dad's foreign porn collection. I guess the new girl and Ayanami are dating." The jock's head furrowed. "Which mean's girls do that even when they aren't putting on a show for the guys."

Kensuke sighed. His friend was a cool guy, but he was a bit slow on the pick-up concerning girls and sex. "That is for porn videos. Girls can do that with each other without a guy around. Guys can do that with other guys as well if they want to."

Toji's tanned face paled as he looked at Kensuke. "Guys with guys? Dude, you're my friend, but I don't want to do that sort of stuff with you."

Kensuke's face did about the same with Toji's statement. "Eww… no dude. I'm not into guys. We are just bros, right?" The scene tensed as the two friends stood in the bathroom. After a minute or so of them staring at their feet Kensuke figured he needed to lighting up the mood. "Want to sneak out and watch the giant robot fight the monster?"

Without hesitation Toji looked up and grabbed onto the change of discussion. "Yah, let's get out of here bro."
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The strange whip arms of the angel slashed the building EVA-01 was hiding behind into small (for a building) chunks, blowing the large biomech back as gas lines exploded sending concrete everywhere. Rolling away from the destruction, Yuko urged the war machine into a full run away from the angel. She had already left the main part of Tokyo-3 proper and was just reaching the edge of the city's "Mi-chan, I blame you for the tentacles this thing has!"

"Just keep moving, your only 50 meters to the next weapon cache. Watch your umbilical cord!" The battle went south much too quickly for Misato's taste. It started out with Yuko following orders and doing a textbook ambush attack on the angel. She waited behind a building until the angel passed by, then swung out behind the monster to unload hot death on it. Right after she finished her burst, she ducked back behind the building and began moving to her next attack spot. It would have gone well, if only the tentacle whips didn't pop out and destroy half a block of buildings the EVA was trying to move through.

Yuko flipped over a convenience store and landed next to the elevator that just opened with a fresh pellet rifle. Her last one had run out of ammo in a mad dash of getting the hell away and cover fire. Grabbing the weapon she was forced again to roll back to avoid the slashing whips that tore apart the store and the elevator. "Does anyone have an idea besides me running? The rifle isn't getting through that AT field thing it has!"

Misato looked over at Ritsuko. "It seems the angel's AT field is stronger than the last one. If projecting her AT field at a range isn't working on breaking through the angels AT field perhaps a more focused close in attack will work."

"Did you hear that Yuko? Think you can get behind it again and use the progressive knife?" The view screen flooded with static as another explosion interrupted the feed. The screen cleared showing the EVA flying back trying to keep the whips at bay with it's AT field.

"Yah, sure, let me keep from DIEING first!" Yuko looked around as she kept just ahead of the whips when she spotted what she needed. "Sorry Mi-chan. Looks like this might be the best way to get around it." The EVA threw itself around another building, followed by a burst of gun fire. Misato watched in horror as Yuko added more damage to the city as she unloaded her pellet rifle into the elevator platform she was standing on that was next to the building. EVA-01 fell into the shaft and out of sight.

"Captain, did the Third Child just destroy one of the main supply transport elevators to make a fox hole?" Misato started to sweat a bit harder. When the Commander saw fit to speak it means he was approving of the course of action or really pissed off. She could already hear the printers tossing out the complaint forms and damage costs right now.

There was another flash of whips cutting through the building throwing rubble over the newly made hole, covering up the EVA. The angel stopped above the rubble and seem to pan around trying to locate its enemy. Under the rubble in the elevator shaft, Yuko had one arm thrust into the shaft wall and the other arm propping up the remains of the elevator door and holding back the chunks of building. Her legs were braced against the walls for extra support. "Mi-chan, did it spot me?"

Watching the last of the building's supports fall into the Geo-Front, Misato nearly cried. "Yuko, do you know how much money in damage you just cost NERV?"

"A lot. I'm sure that building was insured or something. Now, is the angel passed me?"

Hanging her head, Misato replied. "Yes, it is moving pass your current location. About twenty yards away and moving south slowly. Yuko, please try to avoid more damage."

Flipping the EVA upside down, Yuko kicked the door holding the wreckage up and into the air and launched out of the shaft with a push of her arms. The angel was just barely turned around at the sound of the EVA exploding out of the ground behind it when the rifle unloaded on it. When Yuko hit the ground, she drew the prog knife with the left hand of the EVA and rushed the angel, firing all the way. The angel's whips lashed out only to be caught and wrap around the pellet rifle. Yuko pulled hard against the rifle, pulling the angel rapidly toward her. She was just about to stab the red sphere thing in the middle of the angel's body when she noticed the rifle glowing a bright red.

"Ah, fuck me." The rifle exploded blowing the EVA back from the angel and smashing into a hill just on the edge of town.

"Heavy damage to the right hand and right side armor and umbilical cord severed. EVA switching to battery power." Makoto Hyuga cried out.

Maya looked down on her screen. "Pilot is suffering feedback from the EVA. Dropping in Sync rate!"

Looking out the view from the plug at the clear blue skies, Yuko had to say it was a very nice day to have her ass kicked. "Ok, I think I lost my prog knife in the explosion." Pushing up she heard a cry come through the speakers. Turning toward the sound brought into her view the two boys from school that apparently had the devil's luck in avoiding getting sat on by a biomechanical monster. "Mi-chan, my day has gone to shit. Can I just step on the two morons and say the angel did it?" Maya gasp hearing the casual tone from the pilot about making human toothpaste out of the two boys. "Damn it. How much on battery do we have left?"

Yuko looked at the timer. "Oh, about two minutes or so. Angel should be here in less than a minute."

"Ok, Yuko, we are ejecting the plug. Get those kids inside with you. We are aborting the mission. When you have them make for the nearest evac point."

Sighing, Yuko felt the plug eject. Yup, craptastic day this was.
________________________________________

Toji and Kensuke splashed into the LCL of the plug after the desperate climb up the EVA's arm to reach the plug. "Ugh, what the hell is this stuff?" Kensuke shrugged his shoulders to give an 'I don't know' to Toji's question.

"Retards secured Mi-chan. Pull us in before that angel cuts the EVA into sashimi." The two boys turned to the figure on the control couch in the middle of the plug.

"Well, I guess this means she wasn't lying about being a pilot. We gonna fight the Angel now?" Kensuke flinched away from the murderous glare Yuko turned back on him.

The plug retracted back inside the EVA and Yuko was blessed with the girly screams of the two boys when the LCL refilled the chamber. "Mi-chan, give me that evac point." A screen popped up with a marker showing the nearest elevator. Yuko's eye twitched badly. It didn't help that she suddenly had a pounding headache trying to sync. "How bout one that doesn't involve me having to go THROUGH THE FUCKING ANGEL!"

Everyone on the bridge winced at the sound of Misato slapping her palm over her face. "No helping it. Yuko, break through."

"There might be a problem with that Captain." Misato turned toward Ritsuko at the worried tone of voice. "The two other people are causing massive feedback in the system. Walking is going to be hard, let alone running."

"Sempai, I think I can filter out the two boys. That might make it a bit easier." Maya started typing in the commands when the screams of pain came through the speakers. Looking up at the view monitor it showed that the angel had finally caught up to EVA-01. Yuko had tried to block the whip, but the reaction was too slow, sending the appendage through the left thigh of the EVA.

"Son of a bitch!" Yuko had one hand wrapped around the whip, trying to pull it out. Her face was grimacing in pain. Behind her the other two boys were grabbing their legs in agony as the phantom pain was transferred to them as well. "Will someone do something! I can't fight if I can't move faster than it!"

Nearly crying in relief, Maya hit the execute command. The boy's screaming stopped and turned to light sobbing. "Try now Yuko!"

Feeling the headache recede a bit, Yuko pulled hard and ripped out the whip. A quick look on her right side showed she had less than 30 seconds of power left and the other whip heading for her head. Extending her right hand an AT field formed and blocked the whip, holding it a bay. "Shit, I don't have any weapons!"

Everyone watched in horror as the timer counted down to the death of the three people and eventually all of humanity when a second AT field appeared in front of the EVA, severing the whip in its left hand. Ritsuko stared in shock and started to check the data flowing in from the EVA.

Yuko stared in shock at the severed whip in her EVA's hand. 'Shove it in the core.' Her eyes drifted up and saw the red sphere in the angel's chest. With a savage thrust, the severed whip went into it like a hot knife through butter. The angel screaked in agony then fell silent. Looking to her timer, Yuko saw it hit zero. "Well, that could have gone better." Yuko slumped in the control couch.

"So, do all pilots have to wear the rubber fetish suit?" Yuko turned toward the person who opened his mouth and let stupid fall out. Kensuke flinched back from the glare.

"Makoto, turn off the sound and send in the recovery team. I don't think the rest of us need to hear Yuko torturing the boys she rescued." Misato sat down heavily next to Maya not noticing the mousey tech scoot away from her. "Can today get any worse?"

"Misato… EVAs can't produce two separate AT fields." Ritsuko pinched the bridge of her nose. "What we saw today was something impossible. I think it happened in the first battle but no one took note of it."

Blinking, the Captain turned toward her friend. "If it is impossible, how did it happen?"

Not looking up from her console, Ritsuko answered. "No idea, but I intend to find out."
________________________________________

"Ken-man, I'm pretty sure we really fucked up." Toji hadn't stopped staring at the wall of their interrogation room for the last hour lying face down on a cot, his pants and boxers pulled down to his knees, with a cold compress firmly nuzzled between his butt cheeks. Today was a day of firsts. Getting his ass kicked by a girl, having all his illusions on porn shattered, riding in a large biomech, and finally as a nice dessert a good old fashion body cavity search curtsey of Section 2 Agents.

Kensuke was laying on a cot next to his friend facing the opposite wall, crying softly to himself. Much like Toji, there was a cold compress to help with his swelling as well. Today for him was much like Toji, but he was not sure the price of getting a look inside the EVA should have been one of his best cameras and his anal virginity. It wouldn't have been so bad if the Section 2 Agent that did the search was gentle and didn't have such big hands. "Yes Toji, we really fucked up."

They both turned their heads to the door as the lock clicked. Normally, the vision that walked inside the room would draw a reaction from two boys who were just blooming into manhood with all the raging hormones involved but all it did was cause both of them discomfort. In all her purple hair, pillowy breasts and plump ass glory came in Captain Misato Katsuragi. Walking between the two boys gave them a perfect view up the short skirt of her uniform. Each stride of her legs gave tantalizing views of her pantyhose and the black lace panties she had under them. The boy's both praised and cursed the cots that kept them at a level to view this. Praise for having a view few boys like them will ever enjoy, and curse because laying down and getting a hard-on can be near torture the way it squished the tender bits.

"So, you boys mind explaining why you were stalking my ward?" Misato sat down in a metal chair at the head of the cots and crossed her legs, inadvertently giving both the boys an even better few of the nexus of her legs and the glorious, silk and stocking covered treasure they would never see bare in this or any other lifetime.

Swallowing hard and turning his head forcefully from the tempting view Toji was the first to speak. "Huh, wha?" Didn't mean that what he had to say was intelligent.

Misato leaned forward. "My agents saw you two confront my ward and my only other spare pilot outside the school. When I asked Pilot Ikari about it and if she knew the both of you she replied 'They are both perverted, stalking losers that like to take pictures of me and Pilot Ayanami' to quote her." Adjusting her jacket gave both boys a slight glimpse of the 9mm sidearm. "So, the question is, why were you two out of the shelter and why are you harassing my ward."

Toji looked over to his friend with a silent plead for help. Kensuke had stopped crying and seemed to have gone pale. "OH PLEASE MA'AM! Don't kill us! We promise we won't go near Miss Ikari or Miss Ayanami again!" Toji face palmed at his friend's outburst and suddenly renewed sobbing.

Seeing as his best friend was proving himself completely useless and he didn't want to end up being shot and his body buried in an undisclosed location Toji decided it was best he did the rest of the talking. "Ma'am, you see it is like this…"

After about thirty minutes of explaining with some insertion of begging done by Kensuke at key points the two boys finally got their story across on how they ended up getting saved/captured by EVA-01. Throughout the long conversation Misato just nodded her head and waited for the two boys to finish. "Ok, so, you're saying that you asked Yuko to apologize for hurting your sister and she said no. Then, you proceeded to insult her as a pilot and a woman, so she beat the crap out of you. Then your human sprinkler here talked you into watching a very dangerous battle instead of being intelligent people and staying safe in the shelter."

Toji gave a weak smile. "Well, when you put it that way…"

With a sigh Misato stood up. "There are some release and nondisclosure forms you both will have to sign. Your friend's camera will be replaced because his old one was dismantled. Your parents have been notified and will be here soon to pick you up." Misato walked to the door and stopped. Toji almost didn't hear the next words from the woman's mouth. "The person you should be asking an apology from isn't the girl that piloted that beast to save the city; it should be the person that commanded her to do it. For what it is worth, I am truly sorry for your sister." With that, she walked out the door.

"What do you make of that Ken-man?"

Having stopped crying now that he knew they both would live, Kensuke turned his head toward his friend. "Well, you got your apology. It only cost your pride, dignity and anal virginity. Oh, and my camera because I had done a lot of custom work on that thing a new camera will never replace."

"Um… I'll pay for burgers tomorrow?" Yah that was a weak reply.

"Your damn right you will."
________________________________________

"YUKO!"

S aid girl flinched at the shout as the locker room door slid open and a pissed off Captain Katsuragi came storming in the room. Looking up she came face to face with Misato's stern stare. "Hiya Mi-chan. What's the problem?" Dimly she noted that this little confrontation might be easier if she wasn't in the middle of pulling her panties up.

A single finger was thrust into her face. "First, because you destroyed one of the main supply elevators for the Geo-Front there is going to have to be an allocation of what has priority to be shipped down here, meaning EVAs, base maintenance and finally incidentals. What does this translates in to? It means the cafeteria will have to use up that stockpile of chicken it has had in the freezer for the last 6 months."

"Hey, chicken is good for you. People should be thanking me for encouraging good eating habits." The young girl nodded her head in the wisdom of what she said. "I'll be sure to tell the base staff that after they have had nothing but chicken to eat for 3 weeks and make sure to drop your name so they can come and personally thank you." Yuko slummed and stopped nodding.

A second finger joined the first. "Second, when the recovery team extracted you and the two boys from the Entry Plug you gave the Section 2 agents that were handling the boys a slightly embellished story on your relationship with them."

"Ha ha! You should have seen them two guy's faces too. They looked like they were going to shit themselves!" Snickering at the thought of the two guys sweating it out she added. "Maybe next time they will stay in the shelter, not comment on my plugsuit and not start a fight with me."

"Well, it should be easy for them to 'shit themselves' now because the agents gave both boys a full body cavity search. Plus, I got the real story from the boys which, while somewhat similar to your story seems have some key points added." Throughout this explanation Misato had slowly pushed forward until Yuko felt her bare back tap the locker behind her. Putting her face inches away from the younger girl she whispered lightly in her face. "Those boys were at fault for leaving the shelter, but you hit the kid first and you were the one that had Section 2 thinking they were stalkers despite the only proof of this was the Aida kid's camera with a single file of you flashing another girl. Other than some racy pictures of the girl's locker room and some downloaded porn, that was it."

Yuko gave a weak smile. "I'm not going to get away scot free on this, am I?"

"Damn right. Two weeks grounding and you're going to find a way to make amends to those two boys."

"Fine then." Yuko sighed. "Can the grounding start tomorrow? I'll start with that amends thing today."

Misato put her free hand on Yuko's shoulder and squeezed it in comfort. "I can do that. When you get home though I would like to talk to you about a few things."

Just then the locker room door opened again. Maya Ibuki walked in looking down at a clip board in her hand. "Yuko, Dr. Akagi noticed a few things from today's battle and asked me to set up an appointment for another physical. Could you-" The words died on her lips as she looked up. The Captain had one hand on Yuko's shoulder and the other pushed up against the locker behind her. Their faces were only an inch or less apart and from the looks of it made it seem like they had just shared an intimate moment or were about too. The fact that Yuko was just wearing a near see through pair of black lace panties with side ties was not helping this image.

Misato winced at the sound of the young tech collapsing on the floor. "Well, get dressed. I can't carry her to medical by myself."

"Yah Yah. I got you."
________________________________________

"So you wish for me to accompany you today because Captain Katsuragi has 'grounded' you?" If Rei was showing any reaction to the fact that Yuko was currently in her room stripping off her school uniform, she gave no sign.

"Yup yup. Gotta go see someone today and I'm killing two birds with one stone by also spending time with you." Holding up a pair of black leather shorts and a pair of extremely short cut-offs she held them up for the other girl. "Leather or Denim?"

"Denim would be the best choice because of the high outside temperature."

"Good point." Rei noticed that the cut-offs seemed a bit small for Yuko's size as the other girl had to struggle a moment before getting them buttoned. A black spandex halter top was thrown on along with a red fish net shirt and a pair of purple and red striped stockings completing the girls outfit.

"What is the purpose of wearing clothes that are deliberately difficult to put on?" Rei had her head tilled to the side in seemingly wonderment at watching the near Olympic feat Yuko pulled to get her cut-offs on.

Yuko gave the girl a questioning look. "Umm… to look sexy." Her hands rose up and lightly cupped her breasts outside of her shirt. "I don't have much going upstairs so I need to draw attention to my other more… grown areas." With that she turned around and bent over touching her toes. The cut-offs pulled tightly against the round of her ass and dug slightly in between her cheeks. Looking from between her legs, Yuko noted the slight blush on Rei's face.

"I…. see." There might have been a hitch in the albino's tone, but Yuko wasn't sure. "Why are you getting dress in such clothes right now?"

"Going to see someone so I'm dressing to look my best for what I have planned." Digging into the closet she pulled out a small amplifier with a handle. "You mind carrying this?"

Rei took the amp and looked up as Yuko placed her large bass guitar into its carrying case. "Are you going somewhere to play? Why not play here?"

Adjusting the case on her back she looked back at Rei. "Because the audience can't really make it to meet us, so we are going to them for a private showing." Rei followed the girl to the door and watch as Yuko tapped her feet into a pair of black steel toe boots before heading out.
________________________________________

"So they moved her from ICU to a normal room? Does that mean she is doing better?" Toji turned his head to his friend at the statement as the two of them entered the hospital.

"Yah, but there are still some problems they need to keep track of. The rubble that landed on her did some major damage to her legs so they had to put in some metal supports and a replacement joint for her hip." Toji looked sadly at Kensuke. "She will have to have operations for a few years after that to replace the joint and supports as she grows out of them."

"So, you're saying your sister will be in and out of the hospital until she is in her late twenties?" Kensuke sighed. "That is horrible. Have you or your father told her that yet?"

"No, not yet. We want her healed up first before we break in the bad news."

It was a sobering walk the rest of the way down the hospital hallway. As they neared Toji's sisters room both noticed something. There was a rhythmic thumping coming from the open door way. Kensuke looked over at Toji with questioning eyes. "TV too loud?"

"No, that doesn't sound like a TV. Sounds like a really low guitar." Walking into the room brought a strange sight. Sitting next to the hospital bed was a Rei Ayanami, holding an apple in her bandaged arm and a small knife in her other hand, peeling said fruit. Sitting in a chair next to Rei was the bane of the two boy's existence, one Yuko Ikari. On her lap was a bass guitar she was playing with her eyes closed. Toji's sister was sitting up in her bed smiling and clapping to the music looking to the entire world like she didn't have a care.

Toji and Kensuke stared in shock at the sight. Toji's finger was pointing at both the girls and shaking slightly, a strange gurgling sound coming out of his mouth. Kensuke seemed to break out of it earlier than his friend and reach to his bag for his camera, only to grimace in frustration over the lack of his other trusted friend.

"Brother! Look the robot pilots came to see me! They even signed my casts!" Lifting her sheets a bit showed that her right and left leg casts both bore Yuko's and Rei's signatures. Rei sat down the now peeled and cut up apple for the little girl to eat and Yuko stopped playing to look up at the two boys.

"Yo." As Yuko gave a small wave, Toji and Kensuke flinched back at the casual greeting from the pierced girl.

"But, but, what the hell are you doing here!" Stepping back from the scene, Toji switched his pointing hand at Rei. "And why is Ayanami with you?"

"Be nice brother. Miss Ayanami helped me sit up and patted my head. She even brought me a fruit basket." The little girl pointed at the basket of nature's bounty on her bedside table with a card saying, 'Heal. From: Rei Ayanami'. "Miss Ikari was showing me how she does the bass for some song called Control by Puddle of Mudd. She even taught me the lyrics in ENGLISH!"

Nodding, Yuko added to the girl's statement. "Well, me and Kitten heard about a little girl that was hurt on the first attack so we came to cheer her up." Rei nodded in agreement to Yuko's statement.

"But, what about at school and in the robot?" Toji was dumfounded. For all impressions this girl shouldn't care at all about his sister or what happen to her. "That is then, this is now. Besides, I heard the goons at NERV were a bit rough on you guys so I figured this would be a good way to make amends." The pierced girl did a quick riff on the bass to punctuate what she said.

Toji and Kensuke gave the girls an uneasy look. "So, you came to visit his sister to make up for kicking his ass or for having your secret service guys check our plumbing?"

"I believe it was for the standard search and integration procedure that was performed on you by NERV Section 2 agents." Rei added as she held up a slice of apple for the little girl to eat.

"That was standard?" Images of what might have been the nonstandard searches flashed thru the boy's minds, making them turn slightly green.

"Hey! Miss Ikari, Miss Ayanami! Why don't you show brother and his friend that cool dance with the song you showed me?" Toji looked over at his sister and how she was almost bouncing in the hospital bed.

"What do you think Kitten? Show the boys what we have been working on over the last hour?" Yuko stood up and winked at the other girl.

Rei stood up and motioned for Toji and Kensuke to take the formerly occupied chairs. "Understood. We will perform the same as before?"

"Ah, boys are watching. We have to adjust the act because of the audience." With that Yuko walked up to Rei and drew down the vest part of her school skirt so it hung around her waist. Then she unbuttoned the shirt down to show a peek of Rei's white bra. "That should do. Gonna have to do some clothing shopping for you later. Don't think I've ever seen you wear anything but your school uniform."

Yuko moved up to the foot of the bed dragging Rei along with her. Popping a cd into the portable player attached to the amp and started up the song. For the next five minutes Toji and Kensuke could only just stared at what was going on before them. Yuko was playing the bass portion of the song which was removed from the CD along with all the vocals. Those were provided by both Yuko and Toji's little sister. The fact that the song Control was in English only had Toji confused. Kensuke didn't have the same problem with getting near the top of the class in that language. The main problem the two boys had though was the fact the dance was just about downright pornographic.

It started with Rei behind Yuko as she started playing with her arms wrapped around the girl. The boy's eyes bugged out as the song started and Rei began nuzzling Yuko's neck. It got worse from there for the boys. From Yuko running her hand up Rei's leg and lifting the skirt just enough to giving a not so quick flash of cotton white panties to Rei coming from behind Yuko with one arm sliding from her chest all the way down to her shorts in a not so subtle motion of mockingly cupping her sex. Toji leaned toward Kensuke. "Did Rei Ayanami just slap Ikari on the ass?" Rei had lean her back against Yuko's and proceeded to slap her hand against the guitarist right cheek, causing it to jiggle slightly and making the boy's eyes bug out. The surreal moment was made even stranger because while Yuko had a look of seduction going, Ayanami had almost blank look on her face.

"Yup, the English that was sung for that loosely translated into 'The way you slap my ass'. I don't know if I should be disturbed or aroused watching this but I just can't turn away." Kensuke reflectively checked his bag again and cursed the lack of camera.

"You're disturbed? My sister is singing along to this." Toji grabbed the pitcher of water off the serving table next to his sister and poured him and his friend a glass of water. Wordlessly he passed the glass to Kensuke and both of them chugged the glasses empty.

As the song ended with Yuko's arms wrapped around Rei and her face nuzzled into the albino's neck, the bass guitar making a very lucky filling in the sandwich the girls made, Kensuke turned to Toji. "So, besides the very questionable nature of that little show, you think you're ok with Ikari now?"

Watching the two girls break apart and walk over to start praising his sister over her singing Toji couldn't help but smile. "Yah, I think I can be ok with her."
________________________________________

The author's explanation of random things that might not be clear to some people.

1. Poontang: Sexual activity aka. Fucking. Can also be referred to a female's genital. Yes kids, this is vulgar and I'm pretty sure most of you have heard this term before but I'm covering all my bases, including home.

2. Haggis: You take the organ meats (heart, lungs, liver) of a sheep, grind them up, toss in some oats and barley with some spices and shove the whole mess in the same sheep's stomach. Boil and serve with a side of mashed potatoes, some mashed turnips and a shot of really good Scottish Whiskey. No, it doesn't taste bad until you tell someone what is in it.

3. Yakisoba: Think of stir-fried ramen noodles with carrot, cabbage, a type of meat and some soy flavoring. It is actually very taste and can be eaten cold for a lunch. I have a few recipes of it somewhere. Kids seem to like it a lot.

4. Ganguro: Fashion girls in Japan that have taken it to the extremes. Most have artificial tans, heavy makeup, loud clothing and designer accessories. Look them up on Wiki for some pictures. Good for a laugh.