Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ Someday Somewhere ❯ Eighth Mistake ( Chapter 8 )

Evangelion Parody Fanfiction

By Otaku D-Man

 

Non-Standard Disclaimer.

If something contained in this story can be interpreted in one of two ways and one of those ways happens to offend someone and/or infringes upon the copyright held by all persons and companies concerned,

Good, I damn well mean to offend and infringe.

 

Author's Pre-Self Loathing -

I recently discovered that reading Comic LO in a public place is never a good idea. People can be so judgemental when it comes to Lolicon Moe.

 

Someday Somewhere

 

Eighth Mistake -Every Contingency Plan Needs a Happily Ever After Ending?

 

The Bowels of NERV - Nothing a Decent Enema Wouldn't Fix

 

“I am `REALLY' starting to get annoyed by all this.” Staring down yet another apparently endlessly long and very monotonous looking passageway, Mana Kirishima stopped and etched what she felt certain was her `ka-zillionth' directional marker into the stark, metal wall. While she valiantly tried to convince herself that they would help prevent her from getting lost amid the insane rabbit warren that was more commonly referred to as Central Dogma, a small voice that sounded suspiciously like the waspish Second Children gleefully pointed out that she was already lost and that her pitiful attempts at vandalism were nothing more than a contrived attempt at self-deception.

“It just gets better and better.” She lamented miserably, brushing an errant lock of hair from her eyes. “Now I've got Sohryu gloating in my head.” Ever since she had lost sight of the two strangely irritating Hayashibara sisters and the depressingly morose Rei Ayanami, the normally upbeat and cheerful young girl had been left with no other alternative but to go it alone and continue wandering amongst the myriad corridors, elevators, conveyor platforms and rooms of NERV's main complex in the hopes of either finding her beloved Shinji Ikari or at the very least, another living organism capable of decent, polite conversation. Albeit at this stage, she was almost willing to forgo the living, decent, polite and conversational components of her hopes and settle with meeting Gendou Ikari.

“HOW CAN A PLACE THIS BIG NOT HAVE ANY PEOPLE IN IT!” Mana screamed at the top of her lungs, momentarily surprised to hear how distinct her echo sounded as it reverberated off in every direction. Sighing disconsolately, the former elite JSSDF agent and mecha pilot began moving once again, taking care to avoid yet another viscous, slimy puddle of golden, yellow liquid pooling in the middle of the corridor. “You'd think they could afford proper toilets or at least a damn mop and bucket.” She wasn't entirely sure what the suspicious substance was, but the further she progressed into the bowels of NERV, the more of them she encountered. All in all, everything was starting to get on her nerves. “I hope they all had a spare change of clothes.” She mused wryly to herself, noting that where ever a puddle was; there was also a corresponding uniform or set of clothes as well. The notion of encountering a large contingent of naked, incontinent NERV personnel had her feeling faint and nauseous.

Pursing her lips, Mana paused for a brief moment and reminded herself that she was a patient and understanding young lady. For as long as she could remember, she had always strived to maintain a high degree of poise, grace and composure regardless of the circumstances. Years of dedication, training and uncompromising self-sacrifice had honed all of her abilities as a competent young espionage agent capable of adapting to any given situation. Yet despite everything she had endured at the hands of the JSSDF, she prided herself with the fact that through it all, she had still managed to maintain her femininity and compassion.

And a girl needed her feminine attributes, as her mother had often told her, `Preparing to win in love is very much like preparing to win a war. The winner gets to write their own fairytale ending while the loser gets a bullet in the back of the head and an unmarked, shallow grave in a ditch by the side of a very rarely travelled road.' “No one could ever say Mama wasn't direct with her opinions.” She giggled, reminiscing fondly of the Kirishima matriarch.

// - Meanwhile in Mana's Mind - //

// - Chibi-Mana sat at her chibi-mother's feet listening with the large, wide-eyed awe and fascination that only a cute chibi could manage, engrossed with the chibi-woman's explicit instructions on how to bag her destined one true love. Emphasising this point, Chibi-Kirishima-mama handed her animated chibi-daughter a large nylon drawstring bag with the words “Ouji-sama Get-to” emblazoned across the front. - //

It was childish she knew, but while the fanciful stories she had loved as a child, and still secretly enjoyed, were obviously over embellished to portray a romantic ideal that would appeal to young girls, Mana still believed that true love would eventually win out over all adversity and that finally, one day her gorgeous `Prince Charming' would magically appear on his white steed and sweep her off her feet.

// - Scouring the super-deformed planet for the tell-tale signs of her chosen one, chibi-Mana sniffled and rubbed her weary, tear-streaked eyes before suddenly bumping into someone, tripping over them and falling. Lying face down on the sidewalk and more embarrassed than hurt, the chibi-girl wondered if she was ever going to meet her very own knight in shining armour when she found herself staring into the face of one chibi-Shinji Ikari. - //

“And if that fails,” She reasoned cheerfully, “my contingency plan to seduce Prince Shinji into a mindless stupor and haul him off to a nice secluded location, chain him to the bed and live happily ever after should still suffice.” Several very long moments passed as Mana's imagination fleshed out her `Happily Ever After' fairytale ending, culminating in a full body blush and impressive nose bleed that left the young romantic dizzy and swooning with ecstasy.

// - “Ouji-sama get-to” chibi-Mana cried, pointing at the surprised chibi-boy beneath her. With him pinned and unable to move she deftly scooped him up into the bag. Whistling a merry tune, chibi-Mana hoisted the reward for her arduous expedition over her shoulder and skipped all the way back home, happily informing her chibi-captive how the red string of fate (currently tied around the bag) and some intensive psychological reconditioning just meant for them to be together forever and ever and ever. - //

Glancing over her shoulder, Mana searched for anyone that may have witnessed her brief lapse in self-control. Confirming that she was still completely and utterly alone, she turned her attention to her appearance. Using the glistening metal walls as a makeshift mirror, Mana paused in her search to ensure she looked her best before returning to her `Shinji Ikari Liberation, Subjugation and Consummation' project.

// - Returning home, chibi-Mana released her slightly bewildered chibi-husband-to-be and proudly presented him to her chibi-mama who praised her chibi-daughter, ushering them both into the freshly prepared chibi-honeymoon suite. Sharing a “chibi-mother knows best” wink with the young chibi-couple, she closed the door and in the blink of an eye nailed the door shut, padlocked it, installed the mine field with electrified razor wire surround and placed a large “Do Not Disturb - Living Happily Ever After” sign out in front. - //

Standing at yet another junction of six inter-connecting corridors, Mana crossed her arms and looked thoughtfully down each passageway, trying to determine the best route to take. After several seconds, she decided upon the most appropriate path. “I'll have to remember to thank that bottle blonde weirdo.” She muttered quietly under her breath as she inspected a series of maps whose directions were apparently posted for the benefit of a certain directionally challenged Major.

“'For the stupid, lazy whore who's lost, yet again.” Mana read, skipping over several other unflattering remarks written in the word balloons of the overly-cute chibi sketch of Doctor Akagi detailing exactly what the distressingly gorgeous Operations Commander should do in case of getting lost yet again. “So if I follow these,” She ascertained, glancing down the only corridor that was seemingly wallpapered with posters, “I should be able to find someone who can lead me to Shinji.” Satisfied with her somewhat flawed logic, Mana continued her journey with renewed enthusiasm and confidence.

Glancing at several of the signs, Mana noticed that a vast majority informed the casual passer-by that this one particular corridor was `Strictly Off Limits' and how `It would be greatly appreciated if any and all trespassers would kindly refrain from proceeding any further'. Mana considered it just another none to gentle reminder that while NERV was essentially an ultra-secret organization run by a megalomaniacal bastard, it really needed some pointers in how to discourage unwanted guests.

“As long as it gets me Shinji, I don't care.” Mana said to herself, ignoring the increasingly stern warnings that were plastered across the walls, floor and ceiling. She did consider some of the pictorial representations of the various fates that awaited those intruders foolhardy enough to continue somewhat disturbing, but her determined resolve to locate and rescue Shinji drove her forward.

That and she really didn't really believe that Doctor Akagi would purposely direct one of her closest friends towards a fate that involved an enema with that many soapy frogs.

 

[Insert Ad Break Here - Kero]

 

NERV Female Bathroom- Every Anime Should HaveAt Least One Gratuitous Bath Scene

 

“You will explain why you are no longer confined to the tank.” Rei directed her most penetrating stare at the three girls, all remarkably similar in appearance, sharing the large heated bath tub with her. “How was this allowed to happen?” The soft question carried easily across the eerily silent, spacious bathroom. Even with several other girls, all essentially identical, methodically cleaning and washing themselves, barely more than whispered conversations could be heard.

Rei#3 returned her older sister's intense gaze with one of guarded indifference, casually raising one leg, then the other out of the water, enjoying the sensation of exposing the soaking limb to the moist, cool air. “We are free.” She answered, noting the expressions of agreement from several others. “We will refuse to return and any explanations would be superfluous.” Leaning forward, her pale, generous breasts created a series of ripples across the surface of the hot water. “All that concerns us, all of us,” Her eyes narrowed with determination as she surveyed the group before her, “is Shinji-kun.” It was the only reason she could envisage that would bring all factions of the Ayanami clones together as a united force.

“Agreed-nyan.” Rei #28 concurred eagerly, throwing her arms up in the air and splashing water over all those around her. “Shinji-nyan. Shinji-nyan. Shinji-nyan.” She chanted, swaying her hips suggestively and flicking her tail around in time to her impromptu song.

The extravagant emotional outburst confirmed the suspicions of the regular Rei clone's that in addition to the outward physical characteristics; it appeared that a broader, more relaxed emotional range was also symptomatic of the feline transformation.

“If we combine our knowledge, resources and abilities,” Rei#56 stood up and glided slowly through the water to sit on the tiled ledge of the tub. Rivulets of clear liquid trickled intimately down her slender curves, pooling delicately in her lap as she dabbed at her face with a towel, “not even Commander Ikari, Mother Lillith or the accursed Unit 01 with that damnable woman will be able to prevent the success of our scenario.”

Rei#3 considered the words of her `siblings' carefully before rejoining the discussion. “What of the Second Children and the others who seek to monopolize his affections?” With the field reports from the two girls who had infiltrated the school, she had concerns that the other females involved in her chosen one's life were the most immediate concerns deserving attention. “They have advantages that,” She watched with a degree of interest as a sizable group of cat-girls began chasing one another around the wide corridors of the bathroom, laughing and swatting at one another with wet towels, “most of us are unable to emulate.”

“If they cannot be subdued-nyan,” Rei#28 hummed cheerfully, slowly combing the water from her pale tail, “they can be removed-nyan.” She grinned, revealing a pair of fierce looking fangs.

“Shinji-kun will not approve of such direct methods.” Feeling moderately refreshed, Rei joined the others on the bath ledge, tilting her head at the continued antics of the cat-girl clones as they expanded their friendly frolicking to include the normal clones. For reasons unknown to her, their games consisted primarily of groping and fondling the victim. More intriguing was the fact that the victims did little to resist being assaulted. “Even if we achieve our goal it is unlikely that he would agree to any actions that would result in injury.” All of her interactions and observations of Shinji indicated he had a distinct aversion to blatant hostility. Even his sporadic fits of explosive violence were more a by-product of fighting to protect himself and those he cared for, often amplified by Unit 01's desire to keep him safe.

Rei#56 leaned back against the wall and stretched out both her legs, letting her toes drift lazily across the surface of the water. “As the one with the most actual experience and physical contact with Shinji-kun, what is your proposal?” It was obvious to the other girls that there was more than a touch of envy in her voice. Something that they could all easily associate with and understand. The girl before them had experienced the encounters first hand that they would only ever have as second hand memories.

A large three dimensional holographic schematic of the entire NERV facility appeared above the bathwater. Several large blips appeared, scattered across a number of levels of the complex. “Presently we have a number of opponents searching for Shinji-kun.” One after another, the blips opened to a separate screen with footage revealing the individual concerned. Zooming into the first screen, all the girls in the bathroom paused in what they were doing to stare at the image. “The clones that were exposed to Doctor Akagi's experimental gas have Shinji secured here, correct?” Several cheers rose from around the room with just as many grumbled murmurs of disappointment. “Sohryu and the Class Representative are here.” A number of the cat-girls hissed and growled menacingly at the sight of the red haired Pilot of Unit 02, with just as many of the regular clones expressing their bitterness towards the rude foreigner. “The spy is here and Major Katsuragi, Doctor Akagi and Lieutenant Ibuki are here.” While several conveyed similar feelings of displeasure at the sight of the former JSSDF agent, things were more restrained with the appearance of superior personnel. Years of training made it difficult to openly disrespect their commanding officers. “The Angel of Illusion and its core is here, Mother Lillith is here and Doctor Akagi's mother, Commander Ikari's former lover is here.” Yet again the responses varied. Of all the obstacles, the final three were unanimously acknowledged as the most formidable and therefore the most deserving of caution.

“I think I see your intention-nyan.” Rei#28 leapt up behind Rei and clasped her hands onto the other girls' chest; giggling and laughing as the normally stoic First Children succumbed, gasping and trembling to her physical attack.

“Yes.” Rei#3 approved, a small smile gracing her features as she witnessed her elder submit completely to the continued molestation. “We will guide them to mutual encounters where it will result in conflict.” Turning to face her fellow sisters, she slowly closed her hand into a clenched fist. “The results of their confrontation will be catastrophic.”

 

[Insert Ad Break Here - Boing Boing]

 

Terminal Dogma - Or Perhaps `Catma'Given the Circumstances

 

Shinji Ikari had never enjoyed what could be described as a normal or pleasant childhood. His mother had passed away before he had even celebrated his Fourth birthday and not long after such a tragic, life shattering event for such a young child, his remaining parent and sole care provider had quite unceremoniously discarded him in the street along side the burnable trash. In fact, it was only the actions of one very disgruntled garbage collector, stubbornly refusing to remove either the young, distraught boy or the garbage (on account of it being the incorrect day for burnable trash collection), that had spared his life that day.

The intervening years had held neither highs nor lows for the young Ikari. His bleak, meagre existence simply a repetition of dull routine combined with an abnormal appreciation for garbage collection day and ensuring that any and all refuse was separated correctly.

Nearly all that had changed quite dramatically, when a decade later he was unceremoniously summoned to his father's side in Tokyo-3. Although not for anything resembling the family reconciliation as he had initially hoped.

No.

He was callously drafted into a semi-secret, quasi-military organization with the express purpose of risking his life in battle against heaven-sent giant monsters that were apparently hell-bent on destroying humanity.

In addition, he was forced to live a life of near abject slavery as the unpaid live-in servant for his slovenly commanding officer who was so directionally challenged that she often ended up crawling into bed with him, a peculiar penguin with a fetish for inter-species bathing and an brazen foreigner with a disturbing interest in making him dress like a girl. Compounding this travesty further, his school life predominately comprised of daily interrogations concerning his love life while work itself was one long physical examination supplemented with death defying feats of insanity all in the hopes of preventing the extinction of the human species.

How his being naked during most of this was pivotal to preventing Third Impact still had him a little perplexed.

And just recently, things had become really confusing.

“Did you understand that part, Shinji-nyan?” Rei #4 asked, turning from the whiteboard where she had just finished with the latest part of her lecture. The silhouette of her naked figure was easily discernable through the sheer white lab coat the young cat-girl had chosen to wear. A lab coat her long, dextrous tail was apparently determined to remove with its hypnotic movements.

Desperately keeping his eyes resolutely focussed on the cute little spectacles perched on top of Rei's delicate nose, Shinji managed to stutter his reply. “Sorry Rei, I was with you right up until the part where you started talking about applied theory of eugenics and recombinant DNA application.” He apologised with a nervous, lop-sided grin, remembering to call the young girl by her given name. “But most, well all of this is way over my head.” He attempted to gesture his complete incomprehension, but with both his arms shackled to the bed posts and the rest of his body held in near vice-like grips by several other identical pale, azure haired females sporting similar feline attributes, the best he could manage was a slight tilt of his head and shrug of his shoulders.

Sporting an understanding smile, Rei #4 glided across the room and crawled over the bed to stare directly into the young boy's uncertain eyes. “The premise is quite simple-nyan.” She whispered breathlessly. “We are Rei Ayanami-nyan.” She added, looking briefly at the other young women who were all nodding in agreement at their sister's sage words.

Shinji coughed uncomfortably as he felt another pair of hands begin exploring beneath the sheet that only just barely spared the last remaining shreds of his predominately tattered dignity. “But at the same time you're each your own person?” While he could honestly admit to not understanding any of what had been presented, he had paid attention to what was actually said. He had discovered early on during one of Asuka's several lengthy lectures that even if he barely understood the lesson, the demanding young red-head had appreciated the simple fact that he had at least paid attention to her and listened to what she had to say.

<Appreciated enough to at least stop tying me to the chair.> He mused, testing the restraints once again. Considering his current situation, he was starting to believe that every single time a woman decided to instruct him in something even remotely interesting or important; it would involve his being naked and physically restrained.

“Exactly-nyan.” Rei #4 agreed enthusiastically, clapping her hands with delight at Shinji's rhetorical deduction.

“And you're all,” Passing his eyes around the room, Shinji noticed that several of the girls were starting to preen themselves while they stared at him with hungry, eager expressions. “Identical genetic `sister's' of the first Rei Ayanami,” Shinji continued hastily, wondering whether the deep, throaty purring noises he was hearing was a good thing or not. “Who, if I understand this correctly,” His brow furrowed slightly as he struggled with the myriad concepts that were not just levels above, but realms beyond his ability to even grasp, “Was actually a product of genetic engineering comprising human DNA and Angel DNA.”

“Wonderful, Shinji-nyan.” Rei #4 hopped onto Shinji's lap, intending to present the young man with a not-so-chaste, lingering kiss as a suitable reward for his mental gymnastics.

“Did you hear something?” Shinji murmured, turning his head effectively disrupting the young girl's amorous advances.

 

[Insert Ad Break Here-nyan]

 

CentralDogma - Where You Only Have To Be Faster Than The Person Next ToYou

 

“Do you think it's safe yet Hikari?” Asuka asked quietly, briefly moving the frying pan she was using to safeguard herself with to ask the question.

If anybody had told her that Asuka Langley Sohryu would one day be cowering behind a door, wearing only a pair of love heart pattern panties and using a frying pan as a last line of defence, Hikari would have abandoned her carefully developed sense of decorum to laugh loudly at the mere suggestion and then use that self same frying pan to beat them over the head. And yet despite that belief, here she was, wearing only her white and blue striped panties and crouched down next to that self same girl.

“Blue dolls.” Asuka muttered to herself, gripping the handle of the frying pan a little tighter. “Blue dolls everywhere, pawing at me.” Asuka was no stranger to nightmares, but not even her wildest imaginings could have spawned such a hellish situation. She stared at the shiny, black surface of the cooking utensil, allowing herself a moments respite to admire its sleek beauty finding it a welcome distraction from the horror of what had just happened. Encountering the person she despised most multiplied by fifty had almost broken her carefully constructed facade of domineering confidence. The moment they had closed in and torn her clothes off, she had snapped, literally throwing Hikari over her shoulder and running as fast and as far as her adrenalin charged legs could take her.

With her conscious self retreating to a safe haven in the dark recesses of her mind, Asuka was able to apply her incredible intellect to the dilemma. <This is what happens when that idiot strays too far from my side.> Of this one simple fact she was one hundred percent certain. <I wind up naked and caught in the middle of a wonder-girl warpath.>. Asuka watched dispassionately as the shadows of the approaching hoard outside in the hallway danced erratically against the opposite wall.

“They're coming.” Hikari sobbed, throwing herself at the strangely immobile and slack-jawed girl, pushing her to floor. “We have to get out of here Asuka!” Hikari whispered with as much force as she felt was prudent given the circumstances. “It's only a matter of time before they find us.” Discarding all propriety she gripped the soft breasts of the addled girl lying prone beneath her. “They took our clothes. I don't know what they'll do to us.” Seeing no response from Asuka she planted her lips against Asuka's and squeezed the pert globes with all the might her adrenalin charged arms could muster. The petite brunette could not shake the mental picture of both Asuka and herself being bound, tortured and finally gang-raped by an army of naked, crazed Rei Ayanami's. And as much as her older sister Kodama had tried to convince her that a girl's teenage years were the years most appropriate to experiment sexually, the prospect of an all-girl orgy did not feature highly in her list of things to accomplish this week.

The change was instantaneous. Asuka looked firstly at Hikari, then at Hikari's hands still pressed firmly to her chest and then back to Hikari. “I'd read that people become sexually stimulated when faced with a major crisis like their impending demise,” she remarked dryly, “I just didn't picture you being the one to have your way with me. Misato maybe.” She considered, “Doctor Akagi very probably.” She nodded, her impression of the two older women confirming her conclusion. “Both of those old hags have serious issues.” She looked back at the other girl's hands still firmly attached to her chest. “But definitely not you. Just goes to show that you never really know someone until your naked and staring pale, blue haired, red-eyed death in the face.”

“You're back!” Hikari cried with relief, unable to hide her emotions that Asuka had returned to her normal, bitchy opinionated self.

“And you're still playing with my boobs.” Asuka noted whimsically, tapping an index finger against the top of Hikari's hand.

Hikari shook her head, blinking away the tears that threatened to flow. “Never mind that.” She managed to reply. “We need to get out of here. Fast.” With Asuka on her team once more, she was confident that they could figure a way out of this mess and how to get to Shinji before anyone else.

“Boobs.” Asuka said, this time with a little more force. “Hands.” She added, this time emphasising her statement by latching onto Hikari's breasts and squeezing them. “Or are you going to kiss me again?” She asked, leaning up and bringing her face within millimetres of the other girl's.

“Sorry,” Hikari stuttered apologetically, “kind of panicked.” Standing up she offered a hand to Asuka to help her to her feet.

Taking the other girl's hand, Asuka climbed to her feet and quickly examined her body for any signs of injury. “I do like you Hikari.” She said. “I really do.” Satisfied that she was relatively unscathed, she picked up the frying pan, finding its weight reassuring. “I just think you might want to explore the more conventional boy/girl thing before resorting to the whole `girls only' lifestyle.” She grinned as Hikari blushed.

“I said I was sorry.” Hikari remonstrated, upset and annoyed with both her own actions and with Asuka. “I just couldn't think of a way to snap you out of it.”

“I'm not offended.” Asuka said, scanning the room. “Really.” Spotting the ventilation grid she inspected the opening for size and the best way to remove the cover. “I mean just look at this ass.” She said with an impish smile while playfully slapping her cotton covered behind. “If ever a girl was going to turn, this is the ass that would do it.” With a final wiggle of her behind she swung the frying pan with all her strength at the ventilation cover, the force of the impact ripping the metal cover from the wall and exposing the shaft that was their best chance of escape.

Satisfied with the result Asuka of her impromptu demolition work, she turned back towards the other girl. “Hikari?”

“Yes?” Hikari answered, looking up at the girl

“No staring at my ass.” Asuka stated firmly before clambering up into the ventilation shaft. “And Hikari.” Her voice echoed from inside the metallic ducting.

“I'm not staring at your ass,” Hikari snapped, annoyed by the continued insinuation that she was interested in Asuka as more than a friend, “Honestly,” Clambering up to follow Asuka, she blushed once more, finding the other girl's bottom dominating the view in front of her, “just because I kissed you doesn't mean I want to violate your smooth, supple, peach-like-“

“Not that.” Asuka stopped crawling for a moment to look back over her shoulder at the girl behind her. “Is that all you think about? You're more of a pervert than Baka-Shinji.”

“What is it then?” Hikari looked defiantly at Asuka, daring her to make one more lewd comment. “It's a bit hard to think with your ass in my face.”

“Where did you have the frying pan hidden?” Asuka asked, genuinely interested to know where a near naked teenage girl could conceal such a large metal object.

 

[Insert Ad Break Here]

 

TerminalDogma - And You Thought The Yuri WasFinished With

 

“Are you sure this is safe sempai?” Maya blinked the sweat from her eyes and continued her slow, extremely careful reconnaissance through the unfamiliar darkened corridors that surrounded her. “I'm not getting any readings.” She reported into the microphone of her headset after glancing at the readout on the detection device in her hand.

“Oh quite safe Maya-kun.” Ritsuko's voice answered confidently through the small earpiece. “And don't rely too much on the motion detector.” She added, almost as an afterthought. “It's linked to the main security system and for some reason it's been somewhat unreliable recently.”

Maya cursed softly under her breath before a second voice joined the conversation. “Don't worry about it Maya-chan.” Misato's cheery tone declared. “Ritsuko assures me that we're all fine.”

“Misato, I actually meant the two of us.” Ritsuko's voice whispered softly bringing Maya to a complete standstill. “We're fine back here.” She continued, either unaware or indifferent that Maya could hear every single word. “Maya-kun is the one risking her life.”

“I can hear you sempai.” Maya announced curtly, feeling more than a little silly at how she had so readily agreed to take the lead in the search and rescue operation for Shinji.

Her only answer was static before Ritsuko responded. “Just forget I said anything. You'll be fine.” The blonde woman's glib voice pronounced calmly.

“You know Ritsuko, maybe dressing her up like a mouse isn't enough.” Misato said in her best matter-of-fact voice. “We're trying to attract the attention of cats, well, cat-girls. Shouldn't she be, you know, squeaking like a mouse?”

Before Maya could even counter such a ludicrous idea, her sempai answered for her. “You have some serious issues Misato.”

To hear her esteemed sempai dome to her aid and defend her bolstered Maya's failing sense of purpose.

“I'm not the one that had a life-size costume of an `S&M' mouse in their locker.” Misato taunted. “Although I am wondering why it's a perfect fit on the lieutenant.”

Another lengthy bout of static issued across the airwaves as Maya waited for her next order. “You heard the Major, Maya-kun.” Ritsuko's defeated voice said. “Start squeaking.”

“Yes sempai.” Maya answered despondently, launching into her role with as much enthusiasm as she could manage at this particular moment.

“Satisfied Misato?” Ritsuko turned to look at her colleague, the infrared image of a young woman scantily dressed in a revealing mouse outfit acting out her best impression of the rodent species she was attempting to impersonate.

Misato spared the monitor a brief look before leaning back in her chair. “Do I have my Shinji-chan back yet?” She complained bitterly, kicking off one of her shoes to scratch her calf with a stocking clad toe. “Is he licking Belgian body chocolate off my naked body?”

Before Ritsuko could respond, their bait's panic-stricken cry erupted through their headsets.

“Sempai?” Maya's frightened voice squealed through the earpiece.

“What is it Maya-kun?” Ritsuko asked testily, images of numerous chocolate covered Misato's dancing naked around a hapless Shinji tied to a stake dominating her thought processes.

“Help.” The young woman squeaked.

 

[Roll The Credits]

 

End Eighth Mistake

 

Tbc??? (Increasingly Unlikely at This Point in Time)

 

No Pre-Reader / Proof Reader (No one deserves to suffer that much)

 

Authors Post-Self Loathing -

Always read things that will leave a favourable impression with others in case you happen to die during the middle of it.

This is not one of those things, but it appears you have at least survived through to the end, or, you never bothered to finish reading and did what any sane, reasonable individual would do and switched to IRC and started leeching Hentai Games, Doujinshi, Anime and Warez.

 

As always, post your flames, hate mail and abuse here at FFN (Or where ever you find this).

Any other death threats etc are welcome at -

otaku_dman@yahoo.com.au.

Although I don't check it as often as I should. (Gomen in advance)

 

Ja Ne ^-~