Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ Standing at the Shore ❯ Beneath The Stars ( Chapter 2 )

Standing At The Shore

by Keen Drallin

Disclaimer - GAINAX owns Evangelion. I don't.

Chapter 2 - Beneath The Stars

"Good evening."

Asuka didn't reply. Shinji looked at her sadly for a moment, then went back to gazing at the stars.

They had been camping outside since they had awoken. They didn't have any other choice in the matter. The shockwaves of Third Impact had completely leveled every building as far as the eye could see.

They had been relatively lucky. They had been able to scavenge food and clothing from the wreckage. The clothing was dirty, but what did it matter?

Asuka glanced briefly at the boy next to her, then followed his gaze. High overhead was a brilliant line of red, a stark contrast to the darkness of the night sky.

She hadn't spoken much since waking on the beach. She had wanted to, but nothing seemed important enough to talk about. What could they talk about?

The weather? That was a laugh. The land they inhabited seemed as changeless as time itself.

Their friends? Everyone they ever knew was gone now, merged into the collective consciousness that inhabited the blood-red waters.

EVA? EVA was gone as well.

Why are we here, Shinji? She wondered. Why us? For that matter, who are we?

Neither of them was the same person that they once were.

Shinji wasn't the same meek boy she had lived with before. He seemed both more at peace and more at pain. Once, she had seen him as her only real rival, as well as the only person who ever had a hope of understanding her.

Without even trying, he had beaten her at piloting, surpassing in only months what had taken her seven years to learn. And he hadn't cared. She had poured her heart and soul into EVA, and in the end received nothing but a horrifying death.

He hadn't even tried, and he had been given the power of a god. What a cruel sense of humor fate had.

She remembered bits of Instrumentality. She remembered his desperate begging for help. She remembered her refusal. And most of all, she remembered the feeling of his hands around her throat, both within the collective consciousness and on the beach.

She had changed as well. The fire that had once been her trademark was gone now. The 15th had begun the process. Her death had completed it.

Even Shinji had his own traumas to tell. She knew of his torment. She knew of his loneliness. He had visited her hospital room many times, sobbing about the many woes of his young life. She had been barely conscious, but she had heard every word he said.

She had heard him speak of Misato's growing coldness, of Rei's horrible secret, of the seventeenth angel. She had heard him speak of everything.

She had even been aware of his desperate act the morning of the last day. He had violated her, if not in body then in spirit.

But she couldn't bring herself to hate him. With all of her emotional armor destroyed, she couldn't bring herself to hate anyone anymore.

She had been right to see him as a rival. But perhaps she had been wrong to think he could ever understand her.

---

Are you okay, Asuka? Shinji wondered, still staring at the stars.

He was tired. So tired. Ever since waking on the beach, his life had been nothing but slow death. They were alone in a dead world, their only goal being survival. They seldom spoke, and when they did, their words were tinged with such sadness that the conversation died a quick death.

He glanced briefly at the girl beside him. The bandages were still there. She hadn't cared about removing them. She seemed to care about very little anymore.

He closed his eyes and sighed. She was becoming more and more like Rei every day. Tears threatened to fall at the thought. He remembered Rei's last words to him. 'We are the hope, that one day people will be able to understand one another.'

Was there any hope left in the world? Was there anything to be hopeful for? He was alone with someone who probably hated him. He had thought once that he loved her, but he knew now that was just another form of running away. He had loved her because she was the only person left to turn to.

Now, he didn't know what he felt. He remembered all too sadly his attempt to kill her, failing even in that. Couldn't he kill someone with his bare hands? Or could he only end the lives of others from his EVA?

Is this what you hoped for, Rei? He wondered bitterly. For the two of us to wander broken and alone?

There was no hope of them understanding each other. Not now. And perhaps, not ever.

They were together simply to survive, nothing more.

---

Asuka glanced again at the boy beside her. His eyes stared blankly overhead. If it hadn't been for the gradual rise and fall of his chest, she might have thought him to be dead.

She should have felt pity for him, she supposed. But she couldn't feel anything at all for him.

She couldn't feel anything, really. She supposed she might be in some kind of post-traumatic shock, but she didn't really care. The world was so much better this way, with no feelings. No hope. No fear. No love. No hate.

She hoped the world would stay like this, at least until she died. It would happen sooner or later, she knew. They were two children trying to survive in a world of death. Eventually, they would die. And she would be with Mama again.

Mama. She had found her mother again at the end, only to have her ripped violently from her once again. She and her Mama had fought the EVA series. They had destroyed them. But they wouldn't die. They were like Shinji's EVA. They had regenerated, then attacked her with their cruel weapons.

The had killed her Mama. Then they had killed her. But Shinji wouldn't let her stay dead. He had pulled her back from the void, back into the land of thought.

In the void, she had been one with everything. But now she was back to being just one person, just one single soul.

All because of Shinji.

She looked at him, the faintest trace of anger rising up within her. She had been happy there. There was no pain. There was only peace. Why couldn't he have left her there?

---

Shinji looked over to Asuka, surprised. She looked so mad…and so sad.

"Why?" She asked softly.

"Why what, Asuka?" He didn't know what she wanted now. But he didn't really care. As long as she talked. He would have given anything to have his old egocentric roommate back, rather than this pale creature before him.

"Why did you bring me back? Why couldn't you have let me stay there?" She asked, tears threatening to fall from her uncovered eye. Her voice fell lower, barely above a whisper. "I was happy there. I was with Mama. I was with everyone."

Shinji looked at her, his soul filled with sorrow. "I'm sorry, Asuka. I thought you would be happier here, back in the real world." He choked back a sob. "I'm so sorry. If I could send you back, I would. But I can't."

She looked at him sadly. "You thought it would be better here? In this hell? In this broken body? In this dead world?" Tears were running down her face, but her voice remained steady.

Shinji's voice broke. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have refused Instrumentality. But I thought it was another cop-out. Just another form of running away. When I was there, I decided to stop running."

Asuka stared at him, her shell slowly cracking. She had always insulted him. At first, because it was the only way to get him to show that little bit of backbone he kept hidden away. But later, it had just been an easy to make herself feel better. She had always called him cowardly. She had always insulted him.

But he had been strong, in the one moment when it really mattered. He had become the invincible Shinji one last time. He had rose above himself for a brief moment, and had brought her with him. And all she had done was to belittle him for it.

She started sobbing, her thoughts a whirlwind of confusion.

Shinji stared at her. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know anything in this new world. The scene before him brought back a memories of a different time.

Misato sobbing over an answering machine. Himself, glancing at his guardian, then running away into his bedroom.

Asuka, surrounded by caution tape, watching Unit-02 lower into the ground. Himself, running when she insulted him.

His face hardened slightly. He wouldn't run away again.

He moved forward and wrapped the girl into a tight embrace. He expected her to push him off, but he resolved to help her this time. It was the least he could do.

He was relieved when she wrapped her good arm around him and cried onto his shoulder. He didn't say anything. He just held her as she sobbed. Slowly, the tears came to a stop.

She pulled away from him after awhile, trying to compose herself. Eventually, she looked at his worried face and smiled slightly. "Thank you, Shinji."

"You're welcome."

"Not just for that. Thank you for being brave when it counted." She smiled a bit at him, making him feel better than he had since before they had woken up.

"Shinji," she said, "Will you do me a favor?"

"What is it?"

"Look me in the eye." She said, reaching towards her face. Ignoring her fears, she pulled the bandage off her face. For the first time, she wanted to know how she was. She watched as his eyes locked onto hers. She could see him, from both eyes. "How does it look?" She asked. It worked. That was all they could really ask for in this new world. She couldn't hope for anything more.

But she couldn't deny the relief in her heart when he smiled. "Just like it always did."

She smiled back at him, then looked towards her arm. If her eye was okay, would her arm be. She slowly unwound the bandage, then stared. Her arm was flawless. She moved it around experimentally. There was nothing wrong with it. She laughed out loud, for the first time since Third Impact.

Shinji began to cry, but not out of sadness. These wear tears of joy. His old roommate was back.

Asuka noticed his reaction. Her laughter slowly died, but a smile stayed on her face. "Ready to go, Shinji?"

"Go where?"

"Wherever fate takes us."

He smiled a bit, recalling his mother's last words. 'Anywhere can be heaven, as long as you try to live.'

She thought back on the last few days. They had wandered the desolate area where Tokyo-3 once stood, drifting like ghosts. But now, perhaps they could find something better, someplace untouched by the destruction.

They were both still smiling as they packed up their small camp.

-End Chapter 2

Author's Notes

I don't really know why I wrote this. I had originally planned on leaving Shore a one-shot, but I wanted to try something like this. I know this chapter doesn't seem to flow perfectly, but that's how I planned it.

I wanted to try and take a short break from A Different View, and this is what resulted. I have seen many post-3I fics, but I wanted to try something a little different. There is still no romance between the two former pilots in this story. To be honest, I am not sure if there will be anything at all beyond friendship.

I realize I have taken a few liberties with the events of EoE, but this is fanfiction, after all.

I have a hazy idea of where I am going with this, but it will probably change greatly as I continue on. I'll probably have maybe another three or four chapters, but I doubt it will go beyond that.

If you liked it, tell me so. If you hated it, tell me so. If you were indifferent, I doubt you'll tell me anything.

If you've made it this far, thank you for reading.

Until next time.

-Keen Drallin