Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ Stargate: Evangelion ❯ Chapter Four ( Chapter 4 )

“Hello. This is Shinji Ikari, his friends Touji Suzuhara and Kensuke Aida, and I am, of course, Major Misato Katsuragi,” Misato introduced herself, smiling politely. “Pleasure to meet you.”

The lavender-haired major ran an appreciative eye over Dr. Daniel Jackson, who blinked at her quizzically. She licked her lips. A real pleasure, indeed, she thought, smirking internally.

Asuka saw the way the major was looking at Daniel, and grimaced. She moved forward and looped her arms around the archaeologist’s shoulder, smiling coyly at him.

“Dr. Jackson? I was hoping I could talk to you about some of your missions. I’ve read the reports, but I’ve always wanted to hear them from you,” the redhead sighed happily, leaning comfortably against Daniel’s side. The archaeologist coughed, smiling nervously.

“Er, sure. What would you like to talk about?” As Asuka led Daniel away, chatting happily, Jack O’Neill sighed, rolling his eyes.

“Daniel always has a penchant for attracting women in droves,” the American sighed. Touji looked over at O’Neill curiously. Kensuke grinned.

“Just like Shinji here!” The military otaku patted Shinji on the back, making the Third Child blush and cough slightly.

“Er, I don’t… Mean to…”

“That’s like Daniel too,” Jack noted, smirking. Misato sighed, shaking her head.

“The admiral’s going to want to see us. I don’t think we should keep him waiting,” Misato stated.

---

“Why is my fleet being used as a courier service?! I demand to know why NERV and the SGC require my entire fleet just to transport a couple of overpriced children’s toys!” The gruff admiral spat. General Jack O’Neill sighed heavily.

“Because, Admiral, these toys are all that stands between Earth and total annihilation.” The general indicated the files at the side of the admiral’s chair on the bridge. “You have read the reports, correct?”

“It was sheer luck that these children were able to defeat those monsters.”

“With all due respect, sir,” interjected Samantha Carter, “luck is once. Luck doesn’t extend to three times.”

The admiral did not waver. “I just want to get these children, their toys, and that oversized toilet seat off my boat! See to it that you keep this trip as short as possible!” With that, the admiral turned back to gazing out at the flight deck of the Over The Rainbow, a miffed general and sighing colonel behind his chair.

“That could have gone better,” O’Neill noted to Carter as the two headed off the bridge.

“Well sir… Even with the information on the Stargate Program being released to the higher-ranking military personnel, a lot of people just aren’t buying it. Refusing to believe in what we’re facing.” O’Neill sighed.

“Yeah… On the other hand, I don’t think I’d believe myself if I told myself about half the stuff we’ve been through… If it was another me, who hadn’t-”

“I get the idea, sir,” Carter smiled slightly, as O’Neill sighed.

“That could have come out better…”

---

“… I already have my college degree, not to mention certified mastery in ten languages, three classes of firearms, and four styles of martial arts. What do you have, Third?” Asuka sneered across the mess hall table, contentedly snuggled against the exasperated Dr. Jackson’s left arm. Shinji coughed.

“Ah… Well…”

“For your information, he’s destroyed three angels, all on his own!” Touji interjected, smirking. “How many have you beaten?”

“Feh. From what I’ve heard, he got lucky,” the redhead sniffed. “Once I’m in action, you won’t be drooling over the Third here anymore.”

“True, but they won’t be drooling over you for your piloting skills,” Jack Jr. noted with a sly grin. Asuka flushed angrily.

“Pervert! Shut your trap!”

“Hey… I was complimenting you! You heard me, didn’t you Spacemonkey?” Jack asked Daniel. The archaeologist sighed.

“Jack… How many times have I told you, not to call me that?”

“About, oh… Two hundred, thirty-seven times,” Jack replied. Daniel rolled his eyes.

“Only you would keep count of something like that.”

“So, um… Wh-Where are you from, Jack-san?” Asked Shinji politely, coughing at his own courage. The American teenager shrugged, leaning back in his chair.

“Colorado. I was raised in foster homes, before I enlisted in the US Air Force.”

“And met his… Uncle,” Daniel noted, raising an eyebrow as Asuka brushed her chest against his arm. Jack nodded.

“Yeah… General Jack O’Neill. He‘s the head of the US Evangelion program… As well as a few other projects.”

“Hah! Figures that you’d only become an Eva pilot through nepotism,” Asuka sneered. “Just like the Third!”

“Nah… They only screen for talent, Sorhyu. Which doesn’t explain how you got here,” returned Jack, grinning infuriatingly. The redhead gnashed her teeth.

“Bastard! Watch your tongue! I don’t see you with a college degree, or nine years of pilot training!” Jack smirked.

“I don’t see you lasting five seconds in battle, match head.”

SMACK! Asuka’s fist met Jack’s wrist on the other side of the table, the boy still wearing his superior-looking smirk, the girl’s face twisted in fury.

“You…” The German grasped the American’s wrist, twisted it, and in a lunge across the table, sent both herself and Jack to the floor. Crash!

“Hey! That’s enough you two! Quit it!” Daniel shouted, as Asuka pinned Jack to the floor. Jack grimaced as Asuka breathed heavily in his ear.

“Say it.”

“No way… Grrr…” Jack gritted his teeth as the redhead twisted his arm.

“Say it!”

“… Uncle. There, happy?” Jack ground out. “Crazy bitch…”

Asuka stood up, brushing herself off in triumph, as she flashed the victory sign to all and sundry. Kensuke was drooling as he video-taped the whole thing. Shinji and Touji were wide-eyed. Daniel sighed.

“Asuka… Do you have to do that every time…?”

“Morons like him don’t listen to reason,” the girl sniffed. Jack chuckled darkly on the floor.

“Which is why you resort to violence when you’ve lost the argument, right? OOF!” The boy rubbed his bruised ribs, and glared up at Asuka. “Brat!”

“Asshole!”

“Bitch!”

&# 8220;Manwhore!”

“Devil-Girl!”

Kensuke furiously wrote that one down for later, as Shinji sighed, lying his head on the table.

“You’re just laughing it up, aren’t you, God?” The despondent teen moaned into the plastic. “The joke that is my life…”

---

“Pretty impressive, huh Third?” Shinji looked up nervously at the smirking red head, standing atop the back of her scarlet Eva, the biomech in question lying face-down in a shallow pool of cryogenic fluids. The Japanese boy nodded numbly, not wishing to incite the redhead’s wrath and be thrown into the freezing-cold liquid.

“The first production combat model - Definitely no prototype. Only the best for the best!” The girl sniffed.

“And mine’s not a sissy color like purple. What, is it supposed to be an entry for a Gay Day parade?” Shinji blinked, looking down at the deck.

“It’s not that bad,” he muttered.

Yeah, right, and Rei spontaneously breaks out into show tunes in class.

Back in Tokyo-3, Rei sneezed, then blinked, before she continued whatever she was doing at the time.

“Anyway, Third, when we get into battle, you’d better just stay out of my way if you know what’s good for you!” Asuka harrumphed.

“I’ll try to, really,” Shinji mumbled, nodding simply. He really had wanted to go with Kensuke and Touji to see Unit 04 with Jack, but Asuka had dragged him to Unit 02 just to show off more. What was her deal, anyway?

---

“I am really glad that they replaced the armor on this thing,” Jack sighed.

Next to him, Kensuke swept his camera over the inert form of the silver-plated Evangelion, lying like it’s sister machine on the other end of the ship, in a pool of cryogenic suspension fluid. Touji whistled.

“What was the armor like before?”

“Camouflage.”

“What’s wrong with that?” Kensuke asked. “Wouldn’t it make more sense to camouflage it?” Jack Jr. grinned, his hair rustled slightly by a breeze that had slipped through the tarp covering the biomech.

“The armor it had before wasn’t a… Crystallized trinium alloy,” Jack responded, brow knitted to call up the particular terminology Carter had given the material in question. “Ten times harder than diamond. Can withstand a fifty-megaton detonation at close range, and I mean close range.” Jack sighed. “Unfortunately, she doesn’t have as many weapons options as 02.”

“Huh? Why not?” Asked Touji. Kensuke smiled.

“Because so much funding went into the armor, there wasn’t much left over for weapons?” Jack nodded, frowning slightly.

“Give the man a cigar. Yeah… Funding short comings. Zero Two’s got a battle axe, a glaive, a positron rifle, a pallet rifle with naquada tipped shells, a bazooka, a sword, a flamethrower option… Mine’s just got the progressive knife, the two varieties of rifle, and a small bazooka.” Jack shrugged.

“Still, the armor lets you take more of a beating, right? You should be able to last longer in close-combat against an Angel,” Kensuke theorized.

“That’s what they say… On the other hand, I know better than to doubt Carter. She’s the whole reason Zero Four got done as fast as it did.” Jack grinned. “If you need the impossible done, she’s your man. Er… Woman.”

“Is she hot?” Touji asked, grinning lecherously. Jack coughed.

.Before he could answer, however, the deck shifted underneath them, as the three teenagers stumbled slightly. A muffle boom sounded in the distance.

“What was that?” Touji asked.

---

The object kicked up a huge spray of water as it passed underneath an Arleigh Burke-class guided missile destroyer. A second later, the destroyer was smacked out of the sea and sent tumbling into a sister ship nearby. The object moved on, going from ship to ship, sinking every one it passed.

“What’s it doing? It’s acting like…” Daniel Jackson shook his head, watching from the bridge along with Misato, O’Neill, Carter, and Teal’c (who had been meditating on the hanger deck.) Carter snapped her fingers.

“It’s looking for something… But what?” Carter frowned.

“The Evas?” Asked Daniel. Misato shook her head.

“Why now? And why here? The Angels have never acted like this before…”

“Who cares why it’s here! All we need to know, Major Katsuragi, is that it’s here and it’s the enemy! Captain, order all ships to open fire!” The captain nodded, and relayed the information to the communications officer. A few moments later, the fleet opened fire, torpedoes and shells being fired into the water towards the aquatic assailant.

“This isn’t going to work, Admiral!” Carter protested. “The first Angel took a 50 megaton N2 mine and wasn’t destroyed-What makes you think that even your combined power will defeat it?”

“Because, Colonel Carter, it is in our playing field. Now be quiet, or I’ll have you removed from the bridge!” The admiral shouted, turning away once again. Misato groaned, and pulled out her cell phone.

“What’s Jack’s cell number?” She asked.

“Relax. I’ve got it,” O’Neill interjected, pulling out his own phone. Daniel gulped nervously, as the Angel moved closer.

“It’s coming for us…”

“Indeed. Perhaps you should begin evacuation of the ship, Admiral,” Teal’c noted.

“I’m in command, Mister Teal’c!” The captain turned back to his CO.

“Sir, none of our weapons are having any effect!” The admiral started.

“What?! Deploy the N2 mines!”

“At this range, we’d be destroyed along with the target!”

“Uh huh… Good. All right, Asuka, go get ‘em.” Misato closed the phone with a smirk. “Asuka’s getting ready.” O’Neill shut his own phone.

“Jack’s up. No problem.” Jack turned to the Admiral. “Sir, would you mind terribly having your men set up the auxiliary generators that the Major kindly brought along?” The admiral grimaced.

“We have the situation-” KOOM! A nearby frigate exploded. The admiral gulped.

“Yes, of course. See to it immediately!”

---

“AUGH! MY BALLS!”

“Quit complaining! You wanted to come!” Jack O’Neill Jr. ground out, trying to inialize his Eva. His two passengers, Kensuke and Touji, were wearing his spare plug suits-Identical to the suit Shinji wore in Unit 01, only colored to match Zero Four’s distinct silver, violet, scarlet and jet black adornment. Kensuke grinned at the twitching eyes of his friend on the other side of Jack’s carriage.

“Besides Touji, it just means you’re bigger than O’Neill!” Jack rolled his eyes as Touji smiled painfully.

“Really?”

Ah, youth… Why the hell did I agree to this again? Jack rolled his eyes.

Of course… Save the world, get women. Duh. With that, Jack began the start-up procedure.

“Neural links… Online… A12 synchronization circuits… Open… Synchronization at 10 percent and rising… All systems go.“ The entry plug lights flickered. The Japanese boys looked around.

“… We’re not moving.”

“It’s because your thoughts are screwing with the connection! Don’t think!” Jack ordered. Kensuke grinned. “No problem for Touji!”

“Shut it, geek wad!”

“It’s true!”

“Is not!”

“This isn’t helping, kids…”

---

“Um… What’s going on?” Shinji gasped out, gritting his teeth in discomfort. The female red plug suit Asuka had had him change into was definitely anatomically correct. Asuka growled in the carriage.

“Baka! You’re screwing up the connection! Don’t think in Japanese! If you must think, do it in German!”

“Uh, okay. Strudel… Hamburg… blitz…” Asuka whapped the boy on the head, making Shinji cry out.

“Hey!”

“Oh never mind… Reset for Japanese interface,” the redhead commanded, the entry plug returning to it’s original configuration. A few terse commands in Japanese later, and the entry plug lit up, showing the world around the Evangelion from it’s eyes. Asuka smirked.

“All right… O’Neill’s still in startup mode! Slowpoke! HAH!” Unit 02 leapt up from it’s bonds, it’s long yellow tarp covering it’s shoulders like an elaborate cloak. Bending it’s knees, it leap from the transport ship to a nearby destroyer amidships, just as the Angel came underneath the Eva carrier. Asuka grinned.

“I was always good at hopscotch,” she said conversationally, as the transport ship behind them exploded.

“AUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH! SAVE US!” Screamed Kensuke and Touji over the radio.

“Me without my fishing gear… This really sucks,” Jack noted calmly. “Hey, Zero Four to Zero Two-Asuka, sweetheart, we could use some help here.”

“Ha! Admitting that I’m better than you already!” Asuka gloated.

“No… I just need you to fish me out of the water, before I drown with two guys who scream like little girls.”

“HEY!”

“Fine, fine… Hold on. I’ll get you a power cable.”

“Carter to Unit 4, do you read? Unit 4?” Samantha Carter’s face appeared in a holographic window before the two red-clad teenagers. Asuka shook her head with a smile.

“Sorry Dr. Carter. This is Unit 2. Can we help you?” Shinji blinked.

What the… Does she have split personalities or what?

“Unit 4’s only got the B-type equipment, which means it can’t operate underwater.” A pause. “Which is pretty stupid, considering that the Evangelion is designed for all environments and is air-tight thanks to it’s armor.”

“Hey… Yeah! They can operate in gigantic lakes of liquid Bakelite, but not underwater?” Added Misato over the radio.

“Okay, let’s try to survive this Angel attack so that we can rag on the poor designs of the Evangelions later, okay?” Jack O’Neill cut in. “Asuka: Get to the carrier, grab the power cables, and get one to Jack, got it?”

“Yes sir!” Asuka grinned manically, making Shinji gulp.

“… Why is Shinji in the Eva with you? And why is he wearing one of your plugsuits?” Finally asked Daniel, who had pushed his way into the holographic screen. Asuka smiled sweetly.

“I’m just showing him how a real Eva pilot fights! Don’t’ worry, I have no interest in him, Daniel!” The archaeologist sighed.

“I’m so relieved,” he noted dryly.

---

The Sixth Angel came about, the Evangelion Unit 04 struggling to swim in an almost comical fashion. The aquatic angel zoomed for the floundering biomech, targeting Zero Four’s chest. The Eva, however, was not about to be made into fish food, and barely managed to push itself away from the Angel using it’s attacker’s own momentum.

“Woah… Sweet!” Kensuke enthused, his camera still running. On Jack’s other shoulder, Touji was turning a bit green.

“Urgh… I think… I’m getting sea sick,” the jock mumbled. Between the two, Jack O’Neill fumed.

Why the hell did I decide to save them? WHY?!

---