Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ The Evangelion Omake Files: Innortal Style ❯ Sailor Moon Tryouts ( Chapter 2 )

Sailor Moon Tryouts

Evangelion Edition

 

 

Disclaimer: I don't own this series or any other series. I am just floating an idea. I am making no money, nor plan to, off this venture. If you think of suing me over this, then grow up.

 

I would like to first personally thank all of those reviewing my stories. I enjoy reading your comments, and try to correct the grammatical errors I miss with my final read-through as well as my spell checkers. The suggestions you all make will help make this story better for everyone to enjoy, as well as allow my to fix some plot holes I may unintentionally leave. If you find any, let me know, and I will correct them and repost the chapters.

 

Please feel free to review, and make comments. If you find a spelling or wordage mistake, feel free to let me know. Thank you.

 

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They had done it...finally.

 

Despite all the setbacks, the questions, the wondering if Mamoru was really Usa's Father since the girl looked nothing like him, wondering if he was capable of shooting only a few bullets since in 1000 years, the Neo-princess was still an only child...

 

Mamoru Chiba and Usagi Tsukino had finally wed.

 

But, evil takes a holiday for no dumpling headed girl.

 

“WAH! THE AUTHOR'S SO MEAN!”

 

Quiet you, before I kill you off!

 

“I'll be good.”

 

As such, a temporary Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Kamen were needed.

 

Thus, Sailor Pluto looked into the Gates of Time, and after beating them with a tire iron for several hours, she learned that contestants across the multiverse would be tested.

 

As such, one of these tests would involve the Evangelion Universe.

 

So, the subjects were chosen.

 

For Sailor Moon candidates, we have Asuka, Rei, Maya, Ritsuko, and Misato—who brought PenPen with her and placed a crescent moon on his forehead so increase her chances of winning.

 

For the Tuxedo Kamen candidates, we have Shinji—much to his confusion as he specifically signed up to not be included, and Kaji—much to the confusion of Misato, Maya, and Ritsuko who signed up to not have him included.

 

Ah, the diplomatic prowess of redhead...who has the command of a giant robot that she can use to threaten to smash all arcades and ice cream shops before nuking the malls.

 

Gendo Ikari was immediately deemed a failure, as Sailor Pluto showed that all timelines he was given such powers resulted in him gaining control over the youma and using this new power to conquer the world.

 

And so begins the tests of the new magical duos.

 

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Test Case #1: Shinji and Asuka:

 

Tuxedo Kamen sat on the sidelines, eating some popcorn, and watching as Sailor Moon went postal on several youma, occasionally throwing some roses to injure them when they were about to strike her, which then resulted in her brutalizing the youma more as she yelled at him.

 

“WORHTLESS BAKA, I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP!”

 

Kamen just sighed. He had to do this all night with the other girls as well. “Well, at least Mr. Kaji is helping.”

 

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“Wait for it.”

 

Test Case #2: Misato and Kaji:

 

Tuxedo Kamen was staked to the ground, several dozen youma poking him with sticks, waiting for a trap to spring, others nipping at him, wondering why the victim's life force tasted like Old Spice.

 

Sailor Mercury—who had been assigned to watch over this group, turned slightly green as the youma became a little more ferocious with their attacks on Kamen. “Shouldn't we help him?”

 

“Wark wark; wark wark wark, wark wark wark wark!” came the reply from the Moon Hot Spring Penguin. This loosely translated into, “Let the asshole suffer; he bought me cheap beer, and sent the angry one to keep the kind one from feeding me.”

 

“Wark wark wark!” This meant, “Now get this damn sticker off my f*ck*ng head!”

 

“For the love of God,” screamed Kamen, “get them off me! These women are ugly!”

 

“Wait for it,” said Sailor Moon once again, as the Kamen's boxers flew into the air. “Okay, now we can go get that drink.”

 

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Test Case #3: Ritsuko and Maya:

 

“Must be something about a blond with short hair,” mumbled Sailor Neptune, as she watched Sailor Moon start to smack the youma around with a bloody stop sign.

 

“Call me your dead wife's name in bed, huh, asshole!”

 

Sailor Uranus stood off to the side, cheering her on.

 

Tuxedo Mask sat beside Neptune, sighing. “Sempai's had a rough week and... Where did Uranus get that pineapple from?” Maya had been roped into filling some of Kaji's roles as he had been sent to a hospital after the female youma had their way with him.

 

Neptune sighed. “We tested some people from the Ranma universe first and... Dear God, she wouldn't—”

 

A loud and pain filled scream from the youma stopped her. “I can't believe she stuck it there.”

 

“Need a light?” asked Uranus.

 

Neptune sighed once again as she lifted the plastic tarp to cover both her and Kamen. Youma stains were so hard to get out. “Damn Ranma Universe, who the hell makes fruit into bombs?”

 

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Test Case #4: Rei and Shinji:

 

“So, in the name of the Moon, I have been ordered to punish them?”

 

“Yes, Sailor Moon,” said Kamen.

 

“I understand,” said Sailor Moon, as she calmly walked towards the growling youma.

 

As Sailor Moon proceeded to rip the youma apart...literally, Kamen tried to keep his lunch down, promising that he would ensure that when they got back, Rei learned of other things than simply killing Angels.

 

She might not have been so violent, had not Sailor Jupiter been there, cheering her on and telling her how to “properly” rip youma in half. “Careful, if you go like that, the joint will rip before the body does.”

 

“I understand, afterwards, I will them become one with Tuxedo Kamen, as the previous Sailor Moon has.”

 

Kamen squeaked, and then sat facing a corner, muttering about not running away.

 

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Test Case #5: Shinji and Misato:

 

“Yeah, you're my hero, Kamen-chan!” squealed Sailor Moon, as she bounded over to him.

 

This caused a small flow of blood to leak out of Sailor Uranus's nose as well as Kamen's, as Sailor Moon's costume had been altered once again to allow her to display her...talents.

 

Luna-PenPen was enjoying the remains of the fish youma that had been crippled, hoping to get his fill before it turned to dust. After all, Sailor Moon had only crippled it by shooting it in the joints so it couldn't move, hoping her beloved Kamen-chan would take the lead and prove his strength by killing it.

 

He might of, had said man not had his faced buried in Sailor Moon's exposed bosom, much to the ire of the other Senshi.

 

Not because her actions were giving them a bad name; no. It was because some of them wished they could be in the girl's position—there was just something about Shinji that screamed stud-muffin.

 

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The group was once again assembled, looking at the females and one male; Kaji having been sent to his home reality to receive medical attention.

 

Test cases #6 and #7 had gone the same way. Maya or Ritsuko took a hit—since Ritsuko's anger was gone, she had proven an easy target for the youma now—and was caught by Tuxedo Kamen who as now Shinji. The other Senshi had to step in and defeat the youma, as the Sailor Moons would not let go of Kamen.

 

Instead, the began to start to smother him with kisses, while one tried to outright have sex with him on the street.

 

Maya did apologize in her defense. It had been a long time and Shinji didn't smell like Old Spice.

 

“First off,” said Sailor Pluto, “we would like to say we frown on Shinji's actions at each of his tests. Simply put: the defenders of Love and Justice do not eat youma like a lion off the Serengeti plains.”

 

Shinji bowed his head. How was he supposed to know that if Sailor Moon was ever in danger, he would flip out, tear into the youma, and eat them? It wasn't like that had ever happened before or again.

 

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In their home universe, the Fourteenth Angel slowly began his stretches, for his attempt to find the all-father.

 

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“Now,” said Sailor Venus, “while it was nice to have a Tuxedo Kamen who would fight beside us instead of spouting some stuff and running away, I'm afraid that it just won't work out with you guys as the replacements.”

 

“So, what the hell!” cried out Asuka. “We did all that for nothing!”

 

Pluto smiled. “Well...”

 

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“I am Sailor Mercury!” cried out Ritsuko.

 

“I am Sailor Venus!” cried out Misato, her new costume altered like the old one.

 

“I am Sailor Mars!” cried out Asuka, filling her character role perfectly.

 

“I am Sailor Jupiter!” cried out Maya.

 

“I am Tuxedo Kamen!” squeaked out Shinji, wondering how the hell he got himself into this mess.

 

“And I am Sailor Moon,” said Rei in a quiet tone. “In the name of the Moon, we have been ordered to punish you.”

 

“Wark wark wark!” came the cry from Luna-PenPen, which translated to, “Meowth, that's right!”

 

The Fourteenth Angel just turned around and walked away. It was too early in the morning; in his opinion, for this shit.