Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ The Ultimate Bitch Fight ❯ Two Days Earlier ( Prologue )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion, Don't sue me yadda yadda yadda.




Ultimate Bitch Fight


By: Epyon Zero


"How in the hell did it come to this?" This single thought kept running around in the head of Shinji Ikari as he sat in the entry plug of Eva-01. Before was a boxing ring, but it wasn't a regular boxing ring. It was an Evangelion sized ring that stretched half of the Geofront. Inside of the ring was a man in a black tuxedo with a microphone. Shaking his head at the sheer stupidity of the scene before him Shinji thought back to what had caused this incident. "It was all because of a stupid auction."


2 DAYS EARLIER


"Oh come on Shinji what's the WORST that could happen?" Toji Suzahara commented as he pushed his wayward friend towards the curtain. As he tried to not go out on stage Shinji turned back to his friend and said "The worst, oh I don't know how about I'm up in front of the ENTIRE SCHOOL about to be AUCTIONED off." The entire thing had come from the fact that their class needed to raise money so they could rent a bus to visit the observation area of Old Tokyo. Some genius had suggested that they have a student auction. Everyone had agreed, for the simple fact that it allowed them to buy a date with a person they liked without the hassle of school gossip since they could say that they bid that much for the cause of the trip. Asuka, of course had objected very very strenuously to the girls being auctioned so the Sensei had changed it so that only the boys were to be auctioned. As he walked out on the stage he fought down the remnants of what he'd had for lunch.


Sitting out in the crowd Asuka Langley Sohryu was trying to fight down something of a different sort. She was trying to keep from laughing as Shinji walked out on the stage. She turned to her best friend Hikari Horaki, who was seated next to her. "This should be amusing. I'll bet that nobody will even put in a bid for baka Shinji." Hikari shook at her friend before she answered. "I don't know Asuka, I know a few girls who'd love to go out on a date with Shinji. They think he's sweet and kinda cute." Asuka looked at Hikari like she'd just turned into an Angel. "Are you JOKING? Who in their right mind would want to go out with Shinji?" Although in the back of her head a little voice kept reminding her that Shinji had a nice but, and that she thought he was moderately cute. The Sensei's nasal voice brought her back to reality. "Alright ladies our next potential date is Shinji Ikari. Bidding will start at 1000 yen.


After a few seconds a voice cried "1000 yen" It belonged to Mana. One of the better looking girls in the class. A few seconds later someone else said "2000 yen". In a matter of minutes the price had shot to 4500 yen. The boys backstage were dumbfounded, the girls were wiling to pay 4500 yen for a date with SHINJI?!?!? It didn't make any sense. This same thought was going through Asuka's head. She just kept repeating "I don't believe it." Hikari meanwhile was suppressing an urge to say 'I told you so'.
Several rows behind Asuka, Rei Ayanami was pondering why she was at the auction in the first place. The entire concept was very strange for her, people paid other people for romantic encounters. Still the oddest fact was what she felt now as she watched the other girls enter bids for the Third Child. "Why do I feel these things? Do I wish to have an encounter with the Third Child?" Since he'd arrived at NERV Shinji Ikari had always been a bit of a mystery to Rei. Like his father he cared about her but for different reasons Whereas the Commander cared about her because of what her purpose was his son seemed to care about her, not because she was a part in his plan but because she was merely herself. Rei still remembered the look on his face after the destruction of the 5th Angel. He had seemed generally relieved to see that she was alive. "Why was that? Does he wish to be with me? Do I wish to be with him?" Rei decided right there that she needed to explore this feeling more so she raised her hand and entered a bid of 6000 yen.


Every single head snapped around as they heard Rei's soft voice put in a bid for Shinji. The most livid reaction came from Asuka. Her jaw hit the floor. How could Rei put in a bid. She was a DOLL!! She didn't have any emotions whatsoever. By now Shinji could feel his heart in his throat. Before he was trying to keep from passing out due to shame, now he was afraid he'd die of nosebleed. Asuka meanwhile had come to a decision. She didn't care if it was Shinji on the stage she wouldn't lose to Wondergirl, not until Hell froze over. "7000 yen!" she called out. All the heads in the gym nearly disjointed this time. It was a well known fact around school that Asuka despised the ground Shinji walked on, why in the hell was she bidding on him?


If Shinji could feel his heart in his throat now he felt it stop. Never, ever, not even in his wildest dreams could he see anything like this happening. Now it was happening right before his very eyes. The price just rising, 9, 10, 15, 20, it kept going up.


After another 10 minutes every other person had dropped out leaving only the 2 Eva pilots to battle over the Third Child. By now the bid had risen to a quarter million yen. In the backstage area Toji, Kensuke and the rest of the guys were turning green with jealously directed at Shinji for 2 reasons: First he had the 2 most beautiful girls in their class engaged in a bidding war over him and Second the amount that they were willing to part with. Asuka was getting very fed up now, Wondergirl kept meeting her bid for bid and they were getting up into ridiculous sums. A half-million, three-quarters, it all came down to the next bid. At the exact same time both girls said the exact same thing, "One million yen." The Sensei blinked for a few seconds before he said anything
"We have a bid 2 million yen. Going once, twice, sold. To Ms. Sohryu and Ms. Ayanami for 2 million yen." Both girls blinked several times before they sat down. Asuka was utterly shell-shocked. She'd just spent one MILLION yen for a date with SHINJI, and to top it off she'd have to split it with Wondergirl. "Not likely. The only way that little bitch is getting a date with baka Shinji is over my dead body!"


backstage Shinji was still trying to breathe. He wasn't succeeding very well drawing short shallow breaths. Toji and Kensuke were next to him patting him on the back. Kensuke was the first to speak. "Shinji you Eva pilots are so lucky! You get to kill Angels, pilot Evas, and you get all the hot girls!" Shinji's reply was to look at his friend with something approaching pity and "Are you crazy!" Toji would have said something except for the fact that he was the final auctionee.


To Be Continued


Author's notes: I know I know I don't like cliffhangers either but I'm drained.


Shinji: What do you mean drained!? I'm the one who's been sold off like a piece of meat.
Epyon: Oh well that's your fault for having odd taste in women.
Asuka & Rei: WHAT DO YOU MEAN!!!!!
Epyon: uh......... nothing... I don't mean anything.
Shinji: you get used to that after a while.
Asuka: Shut up BAKA! I didn't tell you, you could speak. This is all your fault. Why did you have to put yourself up for auction you just cost me a million yen.
Shinji: What do you mean my fault. Blame Epyon!
Epyon: uh-oh.
Asuka: get back here you little, I'll kill you!!!!!
Rei: Leave a piece for me.
Epyon: OH SHIT!
*End of Scene as author has to run for the hills from the 2 insane(and insanely beautiful) Eva pilots and their berserker Evas.
Asuka: What was that last comment!!!!
Epyon: Oh GOD!!! Please God no!!!!!!!!
The following scene has been cut due to the fact that your computer can't process the massive amounts of blood.