Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction ❯ Where Darkness Falls ❯ To Brookhaven Hospital ( Chapter 5 )

Where Darkness Falls

Chapter 5 - To Brookhaven Hospital

Misato stood quite still, staring down at the huge crevasse where the rest of Nathan Avenue should have been. Ah man, now what am I gonna do? She consulted her map, frowning slightly as she took note of the boat stand behind the Silent Hill historical society. Guess that's my best option, she thought, refolding the map and slipping it back into her pocket, well it's not like I really HAVE options, but still.

With a sigh, she made her way back the way she had come, her mind turning over the things the woman named Alicia had said. "Did you include him in what you were doing…or did you just leave him alone - like his father?" She sighed again and bowed her head. I should have, she thought miserably, but I simply ran away. Misato chuckled ruefully as she thought about the sixteenth angel and Rei's apparent death. After all the lectures I gave him about running away, how many times did I run - just in more subtle ways? Not telling Shinji that Toji was the Fourth Child, for example? And after that business with the sixteenth, wasn't I the one who ran away? Whenever he needed me to be his friend, I simply crawled into my role of his superior.

Yes, Misato decided, she had done her own fair share of running away.

Approaching the boat stand, she thought again about what Alicia had said. "Miss Katsuragi, ask yourself this: what do I really feel for Shinji? Until you answer that question - even if you find him physically… his true self will forever elude you."

Misato ran a hand through her hair, this thought uncomfortably echoing a sentence in Shinji's letter. I never knew what you wanted from me Misato… She bit her tongue to keep from saying `I tried to make it clear.'

Yeah right, she thought bleakly, when it came to him, I was about as clear as my own father was about me - work first, family second.

Shaking her head, Misato set about the business of checking the one boat currently tied to the stand, a small rowboat complete with oars and a small anchor. Untying the rope, she wondered if she had ever really made any effort to reach Shinji. She had always thought of Shinji as a charge and a housemate, but the combination of his disappearance and Alicia's words made her question whether it had not been something a bit more.

Well, I'll make it better when I find him, Misato thought firmly, we'll go home, I'll-

Her reverie was interrupted by a familiar, "Hey!"

Misato turned around and saw Ritsuko hurrying towards her, her green eyes sweeping the foggy street all around and her shotgun moving ceaselessly from left to right.

"Where were you!?" the purple-haired woman burst, unable to contain a smile of relief, "I was so worried!"

"You were worried!?" Ritsuko replied with a glare, "Where the hell have you been!? That altar room had no other exits!"

Misato blinked. "I came back out the way I came in," she said slowly, "and you were gone." She frowned as Ritsuko shook her head, her lip compressing into a thin line. "Well," Misato said, "I went down there, and…"

Ritsuko listened attentively as her friend outlined all that had happened to her, from the sudden change in the bookshop, to the fight in Amber's house, all the way up to the train station, but when she reached the part about Alicia, Ritsuko interrupted.

"You met her too?"

Misato frowned. "I thought you said you haven't seen anyone?" she asked sceptically.

"I hadn't," Ritsuko clarified, her eyes growing hazy as she remembered exactly what had happened, "but after I left the bookshop, I…"

**

Ritsuko made her way through the park, her nerves jumping and twitching at the slightest movement. No Misato,she thought grimly, trying not to scream as a tree limb swayed slightly, No Shinji either. Damn it!

It felt like forever since Misato had vanished into that stupid bookstore, but she knew it could not have been more than an hour - two at the most. "If she's not dead when I find her, I'm gonna kill her," she muttered under her breath. "I-"

Another movement caught her eye, and she whirled around, finding a figure leaning against the tree with the swaying branches… but it was not a monster - it was too regularly shaped for that.

"Hello Miss Takeuchi," the figure said coolly, stepping away from the tree and moving closer, "or should I call you Miss Akagi?"

Ritsuko blinked as she found herself facing what was clearly an American woman, with long dark hair and clear, unblemished skin. She was wearing an elegant, flowing blue dress, and seemed completely out of place amidst the confusion an insanity Ritsuko had associated with Silent Hill.

How does she know who I am?she thought, sizing the woman up, She doesn't look like she's a cop. Maybe she's from NERV? Why else would she know my real name?

"Would you mind pointing that elsewhere?" the woman asked suddenly, a soft smile appearing on her lips as she added, "I'm not with any law enforcement agency, if that's what you're worried about."

"Sorry about that," Ritsuko replied, lowering her shotgun. The woman LOOKED unarmed, but Ritsuko kept the shotgun by her side, just in case.

"That's alright," the woman said amicably, extending her right hand, "I'm Alicia, by the way."

Two things impressed Ritsuko as she shook the woman's hand: the fact that she spoke Japanese so flawlessly, and the strength of her grip, but just about the last thing she expected to hear was the woman quietly murmuring, "If you're looking for Misato, she should be just about at the boat stand behind the museum by now. There's a little problem with the path to Sandford Street, you see."

"W-wait!" Ritsuko stammered, finding herself at a loss for words as Alicia released her hand and took a step back. "How do you know Misato??"

Alicia simply smiled. "Best hurry," she said quietly, "I'd think she'll be casting off pretty soon."

Ritsuko wet her lips, glancing towards the museum for a moment. Is that…?she thought, squinting as she picked out a slender figure, barely visible in the fog.

As she turned around, she found Alicia making her way towards the park's exit.

"Wait! Are you sure you should be out there alone?" Ritsuko called. "I've… got a spare gun, if you want." This woman certainly did not look like the damsel in distress type, but the idea of being unarmed with all those monsters running around just did not sit well with Ritsuko - no matter how strangely knowledgeable the woman seemed.

"I'll be alright." Alicia replied calmly, putting a hand on the fencepost by the gate and glancing back over her shoulder. "Ritsuko," she whispered, her voice oddly flat and hollow in the thick fog, "someone has given you a second chance. You can now choose between the people who genuinely care about you or the man who never loved you and exploited your mind and body to his own ends. Do you want your mother's fate to become yours?"

Ritsuko jaw dropped and she stared down at the ground. How does she know that? she thought, her mind whirling,

"Wait!" she called again, raising her head, "How do you know my mother? Who-"she cut herself off.

Alicia was gone.

**

"…That's how it happened," Ritsuko said with a frown, clearly uncomfortable discussing her mother so openly.

Misato frowned as well, her thoughts running along similar, though slightly different lines. There were very few people who knew EXACTLY what had happened to Dr. Naoko Akagi - it was not exactly dinner table conversation, after all.

Hell, she thought, me and Shinji are probably the last people she told about it personally, but this woman still knew, and she knew Ritsuko by her real name AND her fake one, so she must be from around here, or at least have information on everything that goes on in this town.

"Do you think she works for NERV?" she asked thoughtfully, slowly climbing into the boat.

There was, she reasoned, no point in hanging around - not when Shinji could still be out there somewhere.

"I don't know," Ritsuko shrugged, "but from what you've told me and what she said, she seems to know a lot about us - and Shinji." She sighed, glancing down at the boat. "Guess it doesn't do much good to theorize, does it?" she mused, reluctantly climbing over the bow.

Misato shook her head as the blonde gingerly sat down across from her. "Guess it doesn't," the operations director whispered, "but I think it would be best if we were both on our guard if we meet her again."

"Agreed."

Without another word, Misato took up the oars and began rowing northeast.

**

Sandford Street, it seemed, was quite a row, and in an effort to conserve her strength, Misato took her time, paddling slowly and taking frequent breaks to ensure that she did not wear herself out. The slow pace allowed both women time to think, and after several minutes of silence, Ritsuko spoke.

"Misato…" she began reluctantly.

"Yeah?"

"I…kept a lot of things from you…"

"Hey!" Misato said lightly, "Don't worry about it. The way I figure it - you were trying to protect me from getting hurt, so keeping a few things to yourself isn't that big a deal."

Since Shinji's disappearance, Misato had been wondering if maybe Ritsuko had been keeping her in the dark in an odd attempt to protect her from getting in too deep. Both knew what kind of man Commander Ikari was - and if he was willing to treat his own son the way he had, what would he do to protect his secrets from two overly-curious underlings like herself and Ritsuko? There could only be one answer.

"But-"

"Don't worry," Misato cut in again, "we both know what he's capable of, right? At least I know I can count on you."

Ritsuko hesitated, then offered a weak smile, nodding as she flatly changed the subject. She outlined her journey with Shinji to America, from her harrowing experience with a rather oily fake ID broker to her heartstoppingly breathless wait in an airport bathroom after ducking an off duty Section Two agent and his family.

Misato's face fell when the blonde reached the point in which Shinji told her about Kaworu and what happened afterwards.

"Why did you say that to him?" asked Ritsuko, giving her a disapproving glance, "hell, even I knew the kid was messed up - and did it ever occurred to you question WHY Kaworu asked Shinji to kill him?

"I won't make any excuses," Misato replied with a sigh, setting the oars down for a moment and rubbing her eyes tiredly. "I just wasn't thinking. And no… I never really thought about it. He was an angel - all I cared about was that he was dead and gone."

Ritsuko's next question drove the air from Misato's lungs.

"Was his sacrifice really all that different from your father's?"

There was a long, awkward moment of silence.

"I'm sorry," Ritsuko said finally, "that was uncalled for."

"No, I deserved it," Misato said, shaking her head again thinking back to the last words Kaworu spoke to Shinji, wondering if he was sincere.

Guess I'll never know for sure, she thought, taking up the oars again, never really got to know him - even though he seemed nice enough before, well, before THAT. No, I was too busy chasing the truth…

"Anyway," Ritsuko said dismissively, "we arrived in Silent Hill a couple weeks back and I found a job at Brookhaven hospital. It wasn't easy, but the ID broker - after screwing me for a few thousand bucks - made sure I had some semblance of my old credentials, so I could at least-" she snapped her fingers, cutting herself off, "Hey, that reminds me! You asked me if I met the chief of police, and I said no… but I sort of met his wife. She was some woman."

"Really?"

"She was a neurotic and a hypochondriac," Ritsuko said matter-of-factly, "Connie, one of the nurses at the hospital, once told me that she couldn't stand it when her husband touched her - some kind of contact disorder I'd never heard of - and that she screams at both him and their son for the silliest reasons you can imagine."

Misato whistled. It seemed that this truly was a pathetic woman that Fletcher had for a wife. She suddenly felt sorry for him and his son - especially when she remembered his offhanded comment that his wife had taken the boy to another town.

"I even heard that he's been trying to get her committed," Ritsuko continued, "But I guess her mother had some obscure power of attorney paper or something and got her moved to Brahms to live with her."

Misato remembered the first time she saw a psychiatrist, trying to keep calm as she heard his voice echoing in her mind. "It was just a trick of the light, honey," the man's voice whispered soothingly, "There was no pillar of light, or wings, it was a meteor, honey - that's what happened… now why don't we talk about what you really saw, k?"

People wonder why I was mute all that time, Misato thought angrily, I never saw any point in talking to those jerks! Second Impact was as fucking real as anything! Not to mention half the worlds population dying - and did I fucking imagine papa dying!? It still hurt when she thought of what happened that day - when the world exploded and the giant of light took away everything that mattered to her. Fifteen years had passed since Second Impact, but sometimes she remembered it as if it was only yesterday.

"You alright?" Ritsuko asked softly.

"Yeah, I'm okay," Misato replied, giving her companion a false smile.

Sensing the other woman's sadness, Ritsuko simply cleared her throat.

"It looks like we've arrived…"

**

They disembarked carefully, wary of falling into the chilly lake, and tied the boat securely to the small dock by the street. As they started up the road towards the lighthouse, Misato spotted a squat, two-story building marked, `Dave's Gym.'

"Let's stop here for a sec," she said, grabbing Ritsuko's arm, "Alicia said something about this place… I want to check it out."

Ritsuko nodded and they stepped into the building, examining the small key in Misato's palm in the beam of her flashlight. "Locker key," they said simultaneously, grinning at one another as they reached the same conclusion. Without another word, they separated, Ritsuko heading up to the second floor and Misato remaining on the first in an attempt to find the locker room faster.

You'd think they would have signs, Misato thought, thankful that Ritsuko had her own flashlight as the dim light from her own played over the dim terrain, ah, there it is!

She opened her mouth to call out for the other woman, but the oppressive atmosphere of the gym stilled her tongue. Quietly, she slipped into the Men's locker room first, figuring that she had a fifty percent chance of getting it right. As luck would have it, the key slid easily into the lock on the small cube marked 32, opening it with a satisfyingly loud `clunk.'

Misato swung the small door open, reaching into the locker and pulling out, "Another key? Oh come on!"

She sighed, pocketing the key and picking up the note that was lying under it.

F.

Mister `I.' will arrive tomorrow. Be sure to meet him in the parking lot, whereupon you will go to your place to discuss purchase. Just learned that the package was moved from Ridgeview to Brookhaven.

-K

Misato blinked. Purchase of what? she wondered, peering deeper into the locker and finding a small, locked metal box. And what do these initials stand for?

She checked the box, finding the lock on it to be rather formidable, and as expected, the key that was with it was not the one that would open it.

Figures.

She was just pondering whether to take the box with her or not when she heard footsteps and hushed voices coming towards the locker room.

"I don't know what's going on any more than you do," one of the voices was saying, "are you sure this is the best course of action? This seems rather… nefarious."

"Of course," the other voice snorted, "it's not like anyone's going to see us."

Misato immediately replaced the note and the box, quietly closing the locker and slipping into one of the shower stalls as two flashlight beams pierced the darkness. She barely contained a shocked gasp, for while there was barely any light, she easily picked out the distinctive features of the two men entering the room.

Fletcher and Ikari??

Swallowing with some difficulty, Misato eased out of the locker and strode as quietly as she could towards the door.

"Hell!" she flinched as Fletcher cried out in anger. "Someone got here first! The damn KEY is gone!!"

"What?" Gendou's voice replied sharply. "Are you sure?"

"I'm not stupid," Fletcher growled, "damn it! I needed that!"

"Perhaps he is still here…"

Misato tensed, casting around for a hiding place as the muffled sound of a gun being cocked reached her ears. Ritsuko! she thought suddenly, darting silently into an open closet and ducking down behind a pair of janitor's coveralls, Oh, please don't come in now!

Several moments ticked past without a sound, and Misato nearly screamed as a voice just outside the closet muttered, "Aww fuck it! Probably gone by now - and the goods are still here…"

"Very well," Gendou's voice returned.

Risking a peek out of her hiding place, Misato found Fletcher offering Gendou a small key.

"So what do you think?" Fletcher asked, grinning as Gendou opened the metal box, "Enough there for that project of yours?"

"For the time being," Gendou nodded decisively, taking something from the box and slipping it into his pocket, "you will be notified if we require more."

"You know we had to move the package to Brookhaven because of that business with the other one," Fletcher said hesitantly, "look there's only so much I can cover up ya know?"

"Of course," Gendou said smoothly, "don't worry - I've sent for some people, and we will be moving our operations to Hartford within a week, pending completion of the `new branch.'"

"Got it," Fletcher nodded, "I've got a spare basement key at my place, I'll just go snag it and meet you over there." He hesitated again. "By the way, I saw that doctor of yours, but I lost her in the fog. Bitch moves pretty fast."

Gendou nodded. "Indeed she does - I saw her myself at a bowling alley not long ago, dealing with one of the local… inhabitants." He adjusted his glasses on his nose, assessing the other man for a moment before murmuring, "Speaking of locals, I was wondering if you could shed some light on just why, exactly, one of your police cruisers chose to ram my car off the road."

"I told you on the way over, I don't know anything about that!" Fletcher said hotly.

"It would be in your best interest to ensure the truthfulness of that statement," Gendou said coolly, sliding his right hand into his pocket and gesturing for the other man to lead the way, "the implications of dishonesty could be… unpleasant…"

Their voices became inaudible as they moved away, and Misato heaved a sigh of relief, her mind racing as she tried to puzzle out what was happening.

What was in that box? she thought curiously, What package? And Ritsuko - god, they both saw her… they know she's around.

Misato waited until she was sure the were gone, then hurried up to the second floor. "Damn it," she muttered, finding the place empty, "she must have heard them coming."

An open window in the back of the gym's second floor confirmed this idea, leaving Misato with the sickeningly familiar feeling of being alone. Just make sure you stay away from them, she thought, squinting out into the darkness in the vain hopes of spotting the blonde woman somewhere, neither one sounded like they would be happy to see you.

"Brookhaven," she whispered, pulling out her map and surveying it closely, "just a couple blocks… I guess it couldn't hurt to just check it out, right?"

A little voice in the back of her head told her that getting involved in whatever the Commander and the local chief of police were up to could hurt very badly, but this voice was cancelled out by another that quietly insisted that where one Ikari was found, the other might not be so far away.

Damned if that isn't the faultiest logic ever, she thought, turning from the window and heading for the door, but who knows - maybe it's not that far off base. After all, I never DID find out just what the Commander is doing here.

**

Misato entered the hospital lobby and looked around, finding it just as empty as the gym. However, as she started for the stairway, basement key in hand, she spied a splash of colour.

On one of the benches in the lobby was another red envelope with the initials K.M. Alicia must have just been here, she reasoned, frowning as she found this envelope heavy and irregularly shaped, damn woman gets around more than a bus.

Misato opened the envelope, shaking a pair of keys and a note into her palm. One was square and clunky, bearing the inscription `Director's office,' and the other was smaller and unmarked - like a padlock's key. Absently, she pocketed the keys, her eyes quickly scanning the note's contents.

Dear Miss Katsuragi

The fact you are here means you've searched the locker at the gym. Now I am sure that you are curious as to what the basement contains, but before you go there, might I suggest a quick visit to the director's office? There is a map on the wall to your left that will guide you, and I believe what can be found there will be of interest to you.

-A

P.S. Though I am sure that you are already aware of this, I do feel the need to advise you to be cautious around Misters Ikari and Fletcher.

Yeah, Misato decided, definitely Alicia - vague and unclear… super.

After a moment's thought, she decided to follow Alicia's suggestion and head to the director's office. She headed through the hospital, encountering no creatures or other humans along the way, and soon found herself in front of an office marked `J.C. Carter Director.'

"Guess that's it," she muttered dryly, aware that every time she spoke to herself, it sounded crazier.

Better than silence, she thought, slipping the key into the lock and giving it a turn.

The office was fairly mundane. Like Fletcher's office, there was a row of family photographs, a variety of reports on medical conditions, and a small offering of medical certificates hanging proudly on one wall. The desk, however, yielded some very interesting results.

"Hello…"

Misato pulled on the bottom drawer again, finding that it was definitely locked. With a sense of knowing, she slipped the unmarked key from the envelope into the small lock and turned it, feeling no real surprise as a soft unlatching sound came from the drawer. Pulling the drawer open, she found a small stack of paper.

"Why lock a fax in a bottom drawer?" she mused, frowning slightly. "Must be important…"

Dr. Carter,

I know that it is short notice, but I will be requiring the use of your facilities for a few days. I know you will agree that cooperating is a far better alternative to having your friends and family find out exactly you do when you lock your office door after hours. A mutual friend told me all about it, and be confident that I have enough documentation to ensure that word spreads quickly.

Rest assured, doctor, this will only be a temporary measure.

-I

Misato frowned as she leafed through the attached papers.

John Doe. 30-35 year old male of Japanese ethnicity. No background, no medical history. Assaulted local police officer. Statements from the officer indicate John Doe wrestled for the officer's gun, resulting in accidental discharge, hitting John Doe in the throat. Subject was D.O.A. though resulting toxicity screening detected large quantities of White Claudia in his system. Details regarding this matter are to be referred directly to the officer involved in this case, A. Fletcher.

Why would the director keep an autopsy report? Misato wondered, don't those things usually get filed somewhere? And Fletcher again…

Misato was curious as to who this `John Doe' might be. Doesn't seem like there's a TON of Japanse people around he-arrghh!! This is a waste of time!! None of this relevant to finding Shinji - he could be in trouble while I'm here fucking around.

Misato replaced the papers in the drawer, torn between just leaving and heading to the lighthouse and going down into the basement to find out what Fletcher and Gendou were so keen on getting to. Stepping out of the office, she was forced to slap her hands over her ears as the deafening scream she had heard twice before filled her mind, leaving her breathless and shaking. Opening her eyes, she found herself surrounded by dirt and decay, the smell of rot assailing her, just like in the school and Amber's house.

Ah man not this again!!!

Her attention was drawn to her right, where she found a pair of the `nurses' that were in the Ridgeview clinic shuffling down the hallway towards her, knives dangling with deceptive ease from their deformed hands. Grimly, her mind insisting that these were once humans, Misato raised her shotgun and fired twice, killing the two creatures outright.

"Time to get going, I guess," she muttered, taking a second to load more shells.

She made her way to the front door, encountering several packs of `nurses' and a couple of `doctors' (different from the nurses only in their long coats and taller stature) but as she reached the exit, she found it barred by heavy chains and padlocks.

"Well I sure as hell can't break it down," she muttered, banging on the door in frustration.

Misato then remembered the key in her pocket. Guess we're going down, she told herself pragmatically, What did Commander Ikari and Fletcher want to cover up so bad? God, I hope they're not THERE already!

Taking a deep breath, she sprinted back to the door to the basement, slipping the key into the lock.

"Now then…"

**

The basement was as she had expected. Dark, dank, and smelling of things long deceased. She could only imagine that in the `real' world it would smell pleasantly of antiseptic and linen, but this was definitely not the world she knew. And I thought my office was bad, she thought, amazed that she could still joke as she stood in front of the first door in the basement corridor.

She paused as she heard a noise on the other side, bringing her shotgun up to shoulder level and stepping to the side as she clicked off her flashlight. A moment later, the door swung open and a tiny beam of light appeared, pointing down the hallway in the direction Misato had come from.

Oh my God, Misato thought, lowering her weapon as she studied the profile of the person wielding the flashlight.

"Amber?"

Though she spoke as quietly as possible, the girl still jumped, dropping her small flashlight to the floor with a startled squeal. "M-Miss Katsuragi?!"

Misato smiled weakly. "I'm glad you're ok," she said honestly, "when you ran out of your house… God, I- you know what, never mind… I'm just glad you're ok."

Amber nodded, but she looked a little distracted, glancing up and down the hallway as if she expected someone to round the corner at any minute. "You should sit down," she said suddenly, gesturing for Misato to come into the office, "you look tired."

Shrugging the girl's discomfort off as nerves, Misato came into the office and sat down on the grubby couch. Hey, she figured, at least it's soft.

Amber sat down on the edge of the office's small desk, clasping her hands in front of her and biting her bottom lip pensively. "So," she said after a moment of quiet, "Still no sign of Shinji?"

Misato shook her head, rubbing her eyes tiredly as the girl began fidgeting with her skirt.

"Ummm, I don't mean to pry," Amber said finally, "but why did Shinji run away from you?"

Now it was Misato's turn to bite her lip. "He worked for NERV as… as an EVA pilot," she began slowly; "He lived with me and another pilot for a while. I was his commander."

Amber nodded thoughtfully. "He always was kind of tense," she said quietly, "like he was expecting something to happen at any minute." She tilted her head to the side. "The other EVA pilot… what was he like?"

"She," Misato corrected, "Her name's Asuka." She took a deep breath. "Asuka was… very prideful," she said calmly, "quite arrogant and bad tempered sometimes… but she was very intelligent - so intelligent that she graduated from Berlin University at 14."

"Graduated from University!?" gasped Amber.

"Yep," Misato nodded, "but NERV still had her going to school with Shinji."

Amber frowned. "Even though she'd already finished college?"

Misato shrugged. "Yeah, but that's just the start of her issues… she also had a thing for a…former boyfriend of mine. His name was Kaji."

"Wow," Amber said, clearly impressed, "So was she ok with that? Going to school and stuff, I mean."

"Not really," Misato mumbled, "I told her when in Rome, but she was still kinda pissy about everything."

Amber shook her head. "I can understand why," the girl said softly, "if she graduated college when she was that young, she's probably smarter then you or me - and from what you told me about her, she would have taken that as disrespect." Abruptly, she averted her eyes. "Sorry, that was rude."

Misato waved her hand dismissively. "Don't sweat it," she murmured, "but she was also very disdainful of Shinji… there were several occasions where she insulted, degraded, and even beat Shinji up a bit. I tried to intervene as best I could but…no matter what I did, it just seemed to get worse and worse."

In hindsight, having Asuka move in with her and Shinji was probably not the best idea she had ever had. True, it was partly NERV's decision but it was ultimately her call on whether or not the redhead moved in.

"Everything really went downhill after Kaji and me renewed our relationship," she said reluctantly, "Asuka was jealous, of course, but I didn't pay it that much mind. And she kept saying she how much she disliked Shinji but then she kissed him and well… hell, I don't know…"

"Kisses don't mean all that much," Amber said knowledgeably, "well, not all kisses anyway. I had my first kiss with an older boy and we were never boyfriend girlfriend. We just… did it, you know?"

"I suppose you're right," Misato conceded, "Asuka DID say she was bored."

Misato wondered suddenly if all her intervention on Shinji's behalf had only served to make the situation worse. Well I didn't try and get them to hook up, she thought defensively, I just… kind of defended him when he wasn't around. Damn… maybe I should have done it when he was THERE, too.

She refocused her attention as Amber began speaking. "When I met Shinji he seemed like a really nice guy," the girl said thoughtfully, "a little on the shy and quiet side but there was a lot about him to like, you know? A lot of guys have these huge egos, so it's more like being talked at rather then being talked to. With Shinji - when I could actually get him to say more than two words - it was like I was really communicating. Know what I mean?"

"Yeah, I know what you mean." Misato said with a smile. Shinji was not like most guys she had met: he would actually shut up and listen - and he definitely had his fair share of humility, so egotism was one concern any potential girlfriend need never fear.

I could see her with him, Misato thought, sizing Amber up, she's cute, nice, smart. Maybe if we all make it out of this…

"What happened?"

"Hmm?" Misato blinked. "Sorry, I was daydreaming."

"It's ok," Amber said brightly, I do it all the time. I was just saying, what happened? With Kaji and Asuka and everything."

"Asuka was seriously injured by an Angel," Misato continued softly, "and… and she had some kind of breakdown, eventually falling into a coma. And Kaji he…he…"

Suddenly it was all too much. The angels, Shinji, Kaji, Asuka, the sleepless nights, the guilt, this town, that answering machine message, everything collided in Misato's mind, and before she could stop herself, she burst into tears, covering her face with her palms and sobbing miserably as she realized there were some things a person could never get back… and at least two of them she had been directly responsible for losing.

After a moment she felt a pair of arms clumsily circling her heaving shoulders. "I'm sorry," Amber whispered, gently stroking the older woman's hair.

"M-me too," Misato gasped, returning Amber's hug almost guiltily - as if she did not deserve the simple comfort of knowing someone else in the world cared.

When she had gotten herself under control, she slowly let the girl go. "After… that," she said slowly, "I decided to continue what Kaji had begun and I…I…wound up ignoring a lot of people, pushing them away - including Shinji…he found made friends with an angel who looked human and…" Misato recounted the rest, reluctantly including the last words she had spoken to Shinji.

"That was… kind of mean," Amber whispered awkwardly, "Why would you say something like that to him?"

"Well," Misato said, feeling somehow lighter for confessing all of her sins to this girl, "during Second impact…" she detailed her memory of that horrible day - every bit of it, including the argument she had with her father in the morning over breakfast, of all things, and ending with him putting her so gently into the escape pod, sacrificing his own life to save hers.

"…And to this day I still don't know whether I loved him or hate him," she concluded.

Amber considered everything for several minutes before whispering, "Misato, I…I think that boy Kaworu made the same choice your father made. I don't mean to sound like I know everything, but to me it seems like he wanted Shinji to live as much as your dad wanted you to. I may not know your dad, and… and I might have just met you, but I think he would have wanted you to move on and be happy, you know? I know if it was someone I cared for, I wouldn't want them to be sad."

Misato smiled, averting her eyes and trying her best to believe in the girl's earnest assessment. "Thanks."

"Hi." Amber smiled.

"It's `hai,'" Misato laughed, "but you were close."

Amber grinned sheepishly.

Misato rose from the couch. "Amber," she said quietly, "I need to check out the basement… there might be something really important down here, so can you wait here for me? I'll be right back, so don't go anywhere."

Amber nodded. "I won't," she said firmly, "I'll just lock the door and wait for you to get back - promise."

Misato hefted her shotgun and headed for the door. "I'm holding you to that," she said gently, "we're all leaving here together."

"Yes ma'am!"

**

The rest of the basement proved to be rather lacklustre. Storage rooms filled with useless papers, discarded medical paraphernalia, and one closet populated entirely with dead rats. Very sanitary, Misato thought, grimacing in distaste as she forced the door closed. Just that room at the end of the hall and - ouch! She looked down in confusion as something jabbed at her finger. Amber's ring! Damn it, I should have given it to her!

With a sigh, she slipped it off her finger and dropped it in her skirt pocket, walking over to the last door and pushing it open. "Must be getting senile in my old age," she muttered, stepping through the door, "I talked to her for what, twenty min-"

She was cut off as the door slammed shut behind her, an eerie moan echoing through the large room.

Crap.

Quickly surveying the room, Misato found herself in a very bad situation. Dominating the centre of the room was a tall, featureless figure, humanoid in shape but lacking defining characteristics - no mouth, ears, eyes, or nose graced its oblong cranium. Its skin was a pale, sickly off-white, like a tunnelling worm that had never seen the light of day, and as her flashlight played over it, another jarring moan rent the air.

"First chains, now ropes," Misato mumbled, taking a careful step back as the hundreds of ropes hanging from where the creature's arms should have been swayed as if caught in an unseen breeze. "Right."

Before she could so much as blink, a dozen ropes whipped out of the darkness, driving her back against the door with a startled cry and knocking the shotgun from her hands. She scrambled across the floor, reaching under her jacket and drawing her pistol as another two dozen ropes shot towards her. Keep moving, she thought, desperately trying to draw a bead on the thing's body, just-

"Wuhhff."

The world went upside down as one of the ropes lashed around her right ankle, bringing her to an abrupt and complete stop. Frantically, Misato reached into her jacket pocket, trying to find the knife she had found in the school, but it was too late. Seven more ropes joined the first, wrapping cocoon-like around her legs and up to her waist.

"No!"

Misato's cry of horror echoed through the room, the last coherent sound she was able to make as another rope shot out of the darkness and wrapped around her throat.

She gasped, trying hard to breathe as the rope slowly tightened, cutting off her oxygen supply. Can't die here… she thought, black spots dancing in front of her vision as her right hand - miraculously free - came up, jittering and shaking as the woman tried her best to aim through the haze of pain and breathlessness.

Have… to… find… him!!

Convulsively, her finger jerked the trigger, sending a single bullet hurtling through the distance between them.

Missed… Misato thought distantly, the pain in her chest lessening as consciousness started slipping away. Can't… believe… I… missed…

In the darkest corner of her mind, a soft voice whispered.

I

Mustn't

Run

Away

With a silent scream, Misato dragged herself back from the brink, WILLING her finger to pull, pull, pull, over and over again, blindly, desperately, each shot punctuated by a single name echoing over and over in her mind.

Shinji… Shinji… Shinji… Shinji… Shinji…

Abruptly, white light filled her vision, accompanied by a hard THUMP as something hard and unyielding slammed into the back of her head, and she was…

…lying on her back, forcing air into her lungs, the smell of rot and decay completely absent. All she could hear was a dry, `click, click, click,' coming from somewhere to her right. Shaking, coughing, trying to get her bearings, Misato rolled onto her side, thrusting the gun out in front of her in what she hoped was the direction of the monster.

But there was nothing there. Once again, she found herself facing an empty room, the far side of the wall scored with numerous, fresh bullet holes. "Too… close," she rasped, staring down at her hand with numb shock.

Her finger was still squeezing the trigger.

`click'

`click'

`click'

Taking a deep breath, Misato reached down and pulled the gun from her own hand, wondering why she could not stop her finger from moving. I can't be here anymore, she thought desperately, I don't want to die here - God, please, I just want to go home!!

Abruptly, she brought the handle of the pistol down on the back of her right hand, gasping as pain blossomed in her mind. "Th-there," she panted, flexing her aching hand a few times, her forefinger finally stilling, "have to… get a grip…"

Misato slowly rose to her feet, popping the empty clip out of her handgun and slapping a fresh one in before retrieving her heavier weapon. She was definitely back in the `real' world, though now that she was not fighting for her life, it was clear that she was standing in a recovery room of some sort.

Send them to the basement to get better, she thought, trying her best to pretend that she had not just come face to face with her own death, we've got all the essentials: bed, IV line, file cabinet. Hmmm…

Curiously, she opened the filing cabinet, pulling out a manila envelope and reading, "Progress report, subject: R.K.…"

1stNovember 2015

Subject appears to be responding to dosage quite well. So far, effects of `Sakura' are limited, but that is to be expected as subject adjusts to compound. Will keep note of any progress. Gunshot wound is healing nicely.

15thNovember 2015

Subject uncooperative today. Needed to be restrained and forcefully dosed. Popped a stitch.

22ndNovember 2015

Subject finally showing favourable response. Exhibited quick obedience to simple commands from handler designate `Prudence.' Still unwilling to take direction from handlers `Faith,' `Providence,' or `Charity.' Recommend upping dosage to 15 ML.

31stNovember 2015

Subject has escaped. Mister `I' was not too pleased about this…has authorised the `second section' of his organization to track him.

1stDecember 2015

Subject has been shot by the police. Mister `I' states that this is no cause for alarm - alternate subject to arrive shortly.

Misato leafed through the other papers in the folder, trying to make sense of the chemical and dosing notations. "Handlers," she whispered, shaking her head, "they talk like he was an… ani… mal…" her voice trailed off into shock as she stared at a photo marked, `Crime scene photo, property of SHPD - do not remove!' In the stark, black and white photo, a male body lay face up on the concrete, a single, perfectly round bullet hole in his throat and an expression of such profound peace on his face that Misato felt almost envious.

"God…"

In the bright glare of the flash, there was no mistaking the identity of `John Doe.'

"Kaji…" she sobbed, dropping the folder and falling to her knees, "Oh God… Kaji!!"

It isn't real, her mind railed, it isn't real!! He was alive. All this time, he was alive! They kept him like a dog - oh, they're going to PAY for this, god damn it!!

The anguish inside of her was replaced by white hot rage as she imagined her lover strapped to a bed - this very bed she was knelling by - and forced to take some horrible `compound' that made him `obedient.' "Handlers," she whispered, slowly rising to her feet and staring at the bed with narrowed eyes, "maybe we'll find out how they handle a fucking bullet to the head, I-"

Misato's rant was cut off as something cold and hard pressed against the back of her neck. "I'm afraid I cannot allow that, Major," a voice behind her murmured, "Drop your gun."

TBC