Nightwalker Fan Fiction ❯ Equilibrium ❯ Equilibrium Part 1 ( Chapter 1 )

Equilibrium

By: Lotus-chan

 

Part 1

 

Cain entered the small shop just before dawn. It was dark, empty and silent. The air was heavy with the smell of incense and scented candles that lit the unoccupied corners of the shelves lining the walls. To his surprise, the shop was cool and Cain smirked as he looked around.

 

Heavy velvet drapes hung over the two front windows. Random items for sale cluttered the shelves and tables. It went from what appeared to be voodoo all the way to Indian, Egyptian and fortune telling paraphernalia. He shook his head slightly as he walked up to the counter; none of the decor had changed in over 70 years.

 

There was no one at the register. It was as if the shop was deserted but he knew better… he could feel her. “Lilith. Come out, it's Cain.” The curtain behind the counter parted and a woman in a dark purple dress, complete with cape and hood walked out. The rustle of all the beads she wore sung from under the long coat. Cain wore a slightly amused expression, “Still wearing the same ridiculous garb to work the store, oneesama?”

 

The woman pulled back her hood and the face that greeted him was young and beautiful. She appeared to be only about 22 with long curly blonde hair and crystal blue eyes. Her expression was half welcoming smile, half exasperated. “ Just Lilith, please, and the dress has always been for show. Humans like the illusion of a mysterious proprietor when they come into my shop.”

 

Cain gave his own version of a smile and brought the back of her palm to his lips, “It's been too long.”

 

Lilith watched him as he kissed her hand and smiled genuinely, “I've missed you brother… but you never visit me in my shop unless you need something.” She cocked her head to the side. “Why have you come?” He looked up at her with his charming smile and she was immediately skeptical. “I see a word in your eyes… a name.” At that Cain's smile faltered but only slightly.

 

“You've always had your way with reading people.” He paused, noting the look she was giving him and nodded, “Shido has still not returned to me. I seek a remedy to that here. Something you have that may help me… `convince' him.”

 

Lilith frowned. “So the rumors are true. Shido has been defying you for too long, brother. I had hoped that by now you would have solved the problem. Come into the back room, I would prefer to speak with you there.”

 

Cain's expression became concerned as he followed her behind the counter, and through the velvet curtains. “What rumors are you speaking of?”

 

The backroom was little different than the front of the store. The only difference was that the shelves here were stocked with various vials and containers filled with different colored powders and liquids. None were labeled.

 

The back of the room was covered with large overstuffed pillows and directly behind the pillows lay a raised coffin on a rectangular platform. “There are rumors in the vampire community that you have lost control of your only child of darkness. I have no idea how the word got out but there is talk of how your creation, Shido, has been defying you and even as his Master, you have been allowing it to continue for centuries.”

 

Cain's amber vampiric eyes betrayed alarm for the slightest seconds before his face fell serious. He knew what this meant. “… and you do not know where this rumor originated?”

 

She shook her head, looking up and down the shelves. “Unfortunately no. Not yet. Ever since I heard it I've been trying to figure out where it came from.” She looked at him, “and I've been trying to find you to tell you. Could it possibly have been Shido? Could he have started the rumor himself as a challenge to you?”

 

Cain frowned, “That is ridiculous. I am still far more powerful than he is and he is well aware of it. Besides, he would not know how to issue a challenge if he wanted to. As far as he knows, he and I are the only vampires in this world.”

 

She crossed her arms at that. “I can't believe you would do that.” Cain raised his eyebrows slightly and she glared. “You are too damned charismatic for your own good. Don't you realize that keeping Shido separated from the vampire community is going to get him killed? You know what the others will do to him if they believe he is defying his Master.”

 

It was a statement, not a question. “They will find him, they will torture him, and they will kill him. Then they will come after you.”

 

Cain's face was carefully neutral, “All the more reason for you to help me, oneesama.”

 

Lilith passed a hand through her blonde curls and sighed, “There aren't very many natural remedy's that'll work on the undead, brother. I would suggest another method.”

 

He shook his head, “I have tried everything imaginable. Even threatening his new child.”

 

Her eyes widened, “Shido has made a vampire? When was this?”

 

He turned back to the shelves with a look of disgust on his face. “Not even a month ago. The girl has stayed with him her every waking moment since then.”

 

Lilith raised an eyebrow, “You are jealous.”

 

This time Cain turned sharply and glared at his sister, “how dare you…”

 

Lilith's eyes went from a sparkling crystal blue to golden amber within seconds, “I dare because it is the truth, Cain! You say you have tried everything imaginable in order to get Shido back, including threatening him but what you do not understand is that going from one extreme to the other will only have worked to push him that much farther away! Tell me Cain, what are you? His Master or his lover?”

 

That stopped him. “What?”

 

Lilith sighed and brought fingers to her forehead as if she had a headache. “Come, sit with me.” She walked to her coffin and sat on one of the large pillows that lay at its foot. After a moment's consideration, Cain joined her.

 

She looked at him with her golden amber eyes and her expression was tired, “You never explained any of it to him did you? Shido never knew that the world was full of his kind. He never understood that making him gave you certain powers over him. That it meant you would be his Master for all eternity and that it was his place to obey your every whim. Why? Why didn't you tell him the way the world of darkness worked before he became a part of it? Hell, even after he became a part of it?”

 

Cain didn't look at her, he stared at the curtains that separated this room from the store as he spoke. “Because he didn't want to be a part of it. Shido was… relatively undecided when I made him, but at some point he accepted my offer and I followed through with my intentions.”

 

He paused, “I didn't make Shido because I wanted a servant. I fell in love with him… and there was a time when he loved me. I loved him from the moment I saw him and he loved me before he knew what I was and that didn't change after I told him.

 

“We both knew that our time together would be short. Shido would grow older, age, possibly even fall victim to that rampant plague before his time… and he would die. He would die while I would stay the same. So I offered him eternity. The chance to truly be together forever… and at some point, he accepted.”

 

Cain looked at his sister then, “I made him so we would never be apart. So death would not steal him from me. Was I wrong then?” Lilith's gaze offered little sympathy, Cain noted. It was just the same. He wouldn't have appreciated any form of pity, especially from his older sister. But her gaze also urged him to continue before she added anything to what he`d said.

 

So he frowned, “What more do you want me to say? Shido was not ready to become a part of our world so quickly. Even after becoming a vampire, Shido was more human than most humans. He would never understand our ways, might not want to understand and that would be a weakness that others would prey upon. I could not allow his own naivety and sense of humanity to be what killed him. It was…” he paused, mulling over the weakness in his words.

 

Shaking his head, he decided to admit it anyway. His sister would feel his emotions no matter what words he chose to express them with, “It was that naivety, that innocence, that spark of life even as he stared darkness in the face that attracted me to him. After so many centuries of seeing other vampires express the same dull and defeated view towards eternity, Shido was much like a breath of fresh air.”

 

He closed his eyes as the memories returned to him, “At first he indulged with me in all the pleasures and privileges offered to our kind. He was fascinated by his new life and eager to learn what I could teach him.” As Cain spoke, his voice began to carry a nostalgic note to it that was not lost on his sister.

 

“Our first few years he hunted without regret… but after the death of his mother and sister, he was a different man. Shido was forced to accept what he was but he refused to become a part of the darkness. He would not kill, refused to hunt unless it was the willing and if there were no willing, he would go hungry.”

 

He glanced at his sister but her expression remained unchanged, “I knew I couldn't keep him from the others forever and I tried to make him accept the world he lived in. Little by little I tried forcing him to accept the way our world truly worked so he would not be unprepared when he came face to face with it.” Cain sighed, “He stubbornly refused my truth… and left.”

 

Lilith nodded, “I think I understand now. You never told him about our world in order to protect him from it. It was very noble of you… but I am not sure how wise of you it was.”

 

Cain nodded once, “I understand my mistake but the damage has been done…”

 

She interrupted him with a severe expression, “that was not your only mistake, my brother. Now I understand that you were trying to be both. Shido's lover and his Master. That was your biggest mistake.”

 

Cain sat back and his expression was unreadable. He paused a moment and then, “go on.” Lilith nodded and pulled a ribbon from somewhere within her sleeve. She began to speak as she tied her hair back in a lose pony tail, noting with hidden wonder that doing this in front of her brother made her feel as if she were staring into a mirror.

 

“Shido is not like other vampires. That we mostly owe to you, and if he had been then there would not have been anything wrong with the way you handled Shido in the past. But you offered Shido immortality in order for the two of you to be together. You said yourself you did not make him to be your slave. You offered him your love for an eternity,”

 

She smiled slightly, “surprisingly romantic of my brother… but when you made him, by default you became his Master. What probably drew Shido away from you was your trying to be both. Loving Shido meant sharing and understanding; loving, compromising. It meant that both his and your happiness was important. When you are Master and Vampire however, none of that matters.

 

“As Master and Vampire, your word is law and he is to obey you unconditionally. Despite your intentions, forcing our laws and your beliefs onto Shido when you had offered him love and compromise would have angered even me. As his Master, you wanted to control him and he did not understand that because you never explained it to him.”

 

When she looked up, Cain's eyes were distant and she still couldn't read his face. “Brother, you need to bring Shido to his senses. Whether you do it as his lover or his Master it must be done quickly before the covens decide they have waited long enough. But no matter what you do, you must choose to be one or the other. It may be the best way to solve this problem. Are you listening to me, Cain?”

 

Cain turned to her slowly. His amber eyes flickered, holding a weight and depth to them. A weight of power and age. For just one moment, Cain looked every bit as old as he was. Not in the face that still held the same youthful beauty he had died with but in his eyes, which had seen far more than anything living… or dead, had a right to.

 

“If I choose the part of lover, Shido may not accept me. He is stubborn and childish in his naivety at times. Our encounter with the blind woman many years ago only proved to me that he is little inclined to believe anything I say.” Thunder clapped outside as rain began to fall. Lilith sighed and stood.

 

Looking down at him she asked, “How much do you love him?”

 

Cain looked taken aback. “What kind of question is that?”

 

“I'll ask again, how much do you love him?”

 

Cain frowned, “I love him enough to still be pursuing him after over 200 years of his having left me.”

 

She nodded solemnly, “Then fight for his love. Tell him the truth. Tell him everything you had denied him the knowledge of up to this point and if he still refuses you…” She looked to her coffin, obviously not liking what she was about to say.

 

“…then you have no choice but to play Master. You created Shido. Under our laws, he belongs to you. You will have to claim what is yours in order to protect him; to keep him from being killed.”

 

Cain stood up and stared at her, “He will hate me for the rest of his eternity.”

 

Lilith folded her arms under her breasts and still did not look at him. “I know.” For the first time in centuries she felt the human need for physical contact. She wanted to hold her brother and tell him it would be alright. The thought scared her more than it gave her comfort. She didn't even know how Cain would react if she tried and the knowledge improved her mood very little. She had been dead for far too long…

 

“I will support you no matter what your decision, oniisan. Know that I'll be here if you need me for anything.” Cain nodded, sensing more than she knew.

 

“Then I must hurry.” He moved forward and took her into his arms. Her eyes widened and she froze at the contact for a few brief moments before finally returning it. A small smile played at her lips. She had forgotten what it felt like.

 

Cain grinned when he felt her respond and not push away. She was not the only one who had been gifted at reading people. “This is between you and I, oneesama. I would appreciate the other covens fear me in place of knowing I still hug my older sister.” She laughed and backed away, grinning mischievously.

 

“Do not worry, I plan to spread the word that you are enraged at hearing the rumor. Many of the covens in the city are still fairly new, little over 120 years old; the newly dead. They will fear the wrath of a Master Vampire. It will buy you time, Cain.” He nodded and turned to go.

 

“Wait, why don't you rest here for the day?” Cain raised a delicate eyebrow as he looked over his shoulder at her. Lilith's mischievous grin grew wider as she inched her way back to the shelves, “I think I may be able to find something you will be interested in after all…”

 

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“Don't worry Shido! I'll be back before the sky clears!” Riho yelled as she ran down the hall with her umbrella. No matter how Shido insisted it was safer for her to remain inside and within a coffin during the daylight hours, she loved to experience what little of the day she could.

 

Shido ran to the door and caught her just as she reached the stairs. “Riho! You've barely been dead a month! It's not sa…”

 

Riho turned, placing her hands on her hips. “I still don't see what age has to do with it. I've gone out in the rain before and I'm fine.” Thunder clapped outside, bringing her attention to a window across the hall. “If I don't hurry I won't be out for long!” and with that she ran down the stairs.

 

Shido raised a hand and was going to plead with her further when she finally fell out of sight. He dropped his hand and sighed, letting her go. Closing the door behind him, he walked to the window behind his desk. Shido watched as Riho left the building and turned to wave at him from the street below, knowing he'd be there watching.

 

He waved back with a smile and watched until she disappeared into the park. Maybe he was worrying too much. Riho had not been dead long after all, and still had to get used to the idea. His smile died on his lips as he mused that he knew all too well what it was like to have to give up the day… and learn to fear it.

 

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Riho walked through the park on the same paved trail she always took. It was her favorite because it took her all the way around the park and still did not stray far from Shido's detective agency. She walked on the path, watching a couple of kids about her age who had snuck out of their homes and were playing in the puddles near an apartment complex across the street from the park.

 

She had the sudden urge to join them but glancing up at the sky and noting a pocket of light opening between the rain clouds, she hesitated and drew herself under the trees for protection. Under the slight shadows, she watched as a woman who could only be their mother ran into the rain with an umbrella, yelling reprovingly at the two boys as she ushered them back inside.

 

Riho watched the scene with a sense of melancholy and turned away, straying from the path to walk under the trees. She sighed and began to reminisce dispiritedly about what life had been like when she still had her own parents... A disembodied shadow moved against a tree out of the corner of her eye and she whirled… to find nothing there.

 

Riho frowned, “Is anybody here?” She felt a sudden presence behind her and turned again… and still couldn't see anyone. Something made her look up and sitting on a branch in the tree in front of her was a 13 year old boy.

 

He looked at her funny, “What are you doing out in the rain? Don't ya know it's not safe to be under a bunch of trees in a lightning storm?” Riho almost laughed, both with relief and at his words.

 

“I should ask you the same question.” She said. The kid smirked. He had short cropped brown hair and hazel eyes. He did not look Japanese in the slightest sense.

 

“I don't really care about that. I look after myself and I don't think I'll get hit by lightning any time soon.” He nodded toward the large buildings in the city. “They have lightning rods, they'll get hit first.”

 

She looked at him curiously, “You look after yourself? Where are your parents?”

 

He frowned almost stubbornly down at her, “I don't have any. I've been looking after myself for years. What's it to ya?”

 

She smiled slightly, “I didn't mean anything by it. You see, I don't have any parents either.” He raised an eyebrow. Her smile became more gentle, as if she'd found a sense of kinship with the boy, “You want to walk with me?”

 

At that the kid smirked again and jumped down off the branch to land in a puddle. He was already soaking wet and the splash only served to make his jeans even muddier. Riho was mercifully out of splash range. He walked under her umbrella and pulled her deeper into the trees, “My name's Quinlan.”

 

She looked at him with some surprise, “I've never heard that name before. Are you American?” The boy grinned and shook his head, “it's Gaelic and means `very strong'. It's the only reason I've kept it.”

 

She smiled again. “I've never heard a Gaelic name before, where are you from?” He stopped grinning and looked straight ahead, “far away.”

 

Thunder clapped and Riho noticed with some relief that the sky seemed to be darkening with the evening and the heavier rainfall still to come. “Maybe we should go back to the trails now…” she stopped when Quinlan grabbed her hand in a powerful grip; the hand that was holding onto the umbrella.

 

“You can't go.” Riho looked at him a little confused. His whole demeanor had changed. He was staring at her with a very determined expression, almost as if he believed what he said was a command that she was supposed to obey.

 

It made Riho frown, “what do you mean `I can't go?'” The steely grip on her hand tightened and she gasped. “What are you doing??”

 

“Where is your Master, Riho?” Now she was thoroughly confused, “What are you talking… how did you know my name??” He shook her and it was with much greater force than any 13 year old boy had any right to possess, “I asked you where Shido was, young one!”

 

Riho had had enough. She called to her darkness and her eyes became as amber as the forbidden sun. She was about to try forcing her hand out of his grip and was treated to the shock of her afterlife. Quinlan's eye's slitted and became a golden reflection of hers.

 

Within mere seconds he had forced her against a tree, arms pinned behind her back and a blade made entirely of his own blood pressed against her delicate throat. Her heartbeat and breathing quickened within her newly dead body and she stared at the boy with wide horrified eyes, “how…”

 

“Silence! Answer my questions, Riho. We know Shido made you; we've been watching you for nights. How many more of you has he made??” She tried shaking her head but it caused his blade to nick her slightly. She winched and stilled. Quinlan watched as a tiny rivulet of blood escaped the small wound and ran down her pale neck.

 

Her voice shook as she answered, “Shido hasn't made anybody else!”

 

He looked up at her and asked again, “Where is he? Is he still in that building? Did he not come out with you?”

 

She swallowed hard. “How are you doing this? Why can't I move?? Who are you??!” He grinned and leaned back out of her face but never removed any of the pressure off her. He was barely as tall as she was; reaching only to about her chin but the aura of power he had to him defeated any sense of superiority she might've had with mortal age or height.

 

“I will forgive your impertinence this once because it is so fun to tease the newly dead. I can overpower you because I am 200 years your senior.” He shrugged, “I just happened to have died at 13.” If it was possible, Riho's eyes widened even further.

 

Now she was well and truly terrified, “Why are you doing this?”

 

He frowned. Her questions were annoying him, “Because Collin has taken offense to your Master's defiance of our laws, and he ordered the two of you were to be disposed of.” Quinlan took a moment to revel in her fear after he said that. The fear she felt was so raw and unchecked that it perfumed the air and caressed his aura in tantalizing waves.

 

“W-who is Collin??” Her persistent questions should've annoyed him but this time he laughed. He could suddenly feel her intentions. She was stalling. She knew what was coming. He opened nearly dazed, power heavy golden eyes to her fear filled ones and said, “Collin is the Master of my coven. He is not my Maker but he is the oldest so his word is law.” Riho opened her mouth again to say something else and Quinlan backhanded her with the same hand that held his dagger.

 

“Silence!” His patience had worn thin, if he still did not get a straight answer out of her after one last time, he could at least say he tried. Collin could go to hell if he didn`t like it. “I will ask you a final time. Is Shido out in this storm or did he stay within the building? It is really only a simple answer and would make it so much easier for us. There really is no need for all of these theatrics.”

 

He spoke it in a soft tone, trying to coax an answer out of her. Riho gritted her teeth against the pressure of the blade as it returned to her neck. Bloody tears escaped her eyes, trailing down her cheeks and staining her pale flesh crimson. She did not answer him. In the next few seconds she willed Shido to feel her panic, her alarm. Not so he would come to save her, but so that he would flee.

 

If there were more of them, then it didn't matter whether she gave Quinlan an answer or not. They would comb the area and search the building for him if they wanted to find Shido badly enough.

 

Quinlan chuckled at her defiance and leaned forward. He stood on the tips of his toes and licked the trail of blood off her cheek. Remaining close to her ear, he whispered. “Very well then, your answer is not important. At least knowing that Shido does not have anymore children walking the night will make my job that much easier once I kill you.”

 

He leaned back and took one last look at her, “Pity Collin ordered your death. You're pretty. I would have loved to have you as my pet.”

 

Riho looked at him pleadingly, “Please…”

 

Quinlan's smile widened, “yes, beg me.”

 

Riho tried to struggle but to no avail. She just shook her head, fresh tears falling from her golden eyes and repeated her plea, “Please don't…” Quinlan raised the blade over his opposite shoulder with his right hand and brought it down in one clean swoop.

 

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Cain watched the area from the treetops, shrouded in the stormy evening darkness. He pulled the shadows from the trees below him, wrapping them around himself with his aura of power, making himself completely invisible to the naked eye. Observing silently, he could see them.

 

Moving faster than the human eye could follow, from shadow to shadow, in the streets, the park, the alleyways.

 

Vampires.

 

So, they would wait no longer. He knew it wouldn't take them long, but he hadn't anticipated reaching his love with their attack nearly upon them. He would have to be quick. Shido would not give himself up easily.

 

Before he could leap down from his perch atop the trees he felt a vague stabbing pain in his chest and froze. He turned his gaze sharply in the direction of Shido's building. No… he could still sense Shido inside, unharmed. Then what…?

 

He brought his gaze down to the trees and knew at once. In all his years as one of the undead Cain had made only one child of darkness and he was as of yet unharmed… but Shido had made his own daughter of darkness. A Nightwalker of Cain's line who had inherited his blood and power.

 

The connection was there and although weaker than if he had made her himself, he could feel a diluted sense of her pain… her death. He cursed. Although the girl meant nothing to him, Shido had cared enough for her to give the child immortality so she would not die… he was her Maker. Shido would feel the pain of her death with much more potency than he…

 

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Shido gasped, clutching at the cloth over his heart and collapsed into his chair with wide eyes. `Riho…' He didn't know how he knew, he just knew. She was in danger… dying. The room darkened all of a sudden and Shido heard his named called from out of that darkness by a voice he'd sooner hope to forget.

 

Cain emerged from the shadows with an all too familiar charismatic smile and approached the desk behind which Shido was seated. “I've come for you, Shido.”

 

Shido glared at him and opened his mouth to spit the usual retort when it struck him. “What've you done to Riho!?”

 

Cain was anticipating that, “As much as I would love to take credit for her death, it is not I who have brought the girl to her knees. The others have her and we must leave quickly, before they find us as well.”

 

Shido only glared suspiciously, “What `others'? What are you talking about?!” Cain's perpetual smile began to falter. He did not want to have this conversation here and now. There was too much to be said with too little time… he would try to be brief.

 

“Other vampires, Shido. They have gathered in this area with the intention to kill you and the girl.”

 

Shido's eyes widened, “It can't be… but what reason would they have…” He frowned, “You're lying to me.” Cain walked around his desk to stand in front of him, prompting Shido to stand in order to face what he saw as a threat.

 

Cain sighed inwardly, “You can taste the truth in my words. I've simply come to get you out of here before they reach you,” and he smiled, reaching out a hand to Shido's face. “My love for you is no less potent now than it was 300 years ago, my Shido.”

 

Shido smacked the hand away. “Quit saying that! I don't belong to…” Shido staggered as the pain over his heart redoubled, clutching his shirt tighter and nearly tripping over the chair behind him. Cain frowned outright when he felt the jolt himself, and reached out to steady him.

 

He held him close against his chest and Shido was in too much pain to resist. “I have to save her…” Cain swallowed his anger. Even after Shido accepted what he had told him as truth, his thoughts were still on her.

 

“The girl is lost. They are our kind, they will know how to kill her and you cannot save her in the condition you are in.”

 

Shido grasped onto Cain's arms and when he next opened his eyes, they were no longer human, but amber slits over a pale face. “I… feel something…”

 

Cain brought his gaze downward, as if seeing straight through the floor to the lobby below. “They're in the building.” Shido uttered a strangled cry and Cain brought a single finger under his chin to lift his gaze. Shido was leaning so heavily on the blonde vampire that if Cain should let go, he would collapse where he stood.

 

One amber gaze met the other and Cain answered the question in those eyes. “It hurts because your connection to your only daughter of darkness as her Maker is sending you her pain.” Shido clenched his eyes shut and tried to push away but Cain's hold on him was like steel.

 

Cain couldn't help but think how convenient the girl's plight was for him. This was going to be easier than he thought. Cain smiled lovingly at the vampire he created over 300 years ago and brought the hand from under his chin to cup his cheek. The pain in that face tugged at something within him and Cain frowned inwardly as that something intensified the longer he gazed into the eternally youthful face of the man he loved.

 

Shido frowned and tried to push away again, “let go…!” The blonde vampire was no longer smiling. Cain brought Shido's gaze back up and captured him with his eyes. Not anticipating it, Shido lost himself in that amber gaze. His eyes went blank and his face slack. “Sleep, Shido. You should not feel it when she slips away.”

 

Shido's eyelids drooped and he fell limply against his former lover. Cain picked him up and turned to the window when the door slammed open. Two vampires hissed when they saw him. Cain turned and his golden eyes lit with hellish fire.

 

As the two vampires charged into the room, a wind that was all Cain's power swirled about him and launched itself against the two, sending them flying backward through the doorway. They slammed into the wall opposite the office door with a sickening crack of bones and plaster. The window burst open suddenly and Cain turned his back on the intruders as they slid to the ground in a broken heap. As he brought the wind back to him, the shadows he had cast about the room leapt up, swallowed them, and they were gone.

 

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Authors Note: I have never read a NightWalker fanfic in my life, therefore familiar fandom terms, praises, etc. will not pop up unless by complete coincidence. I also apologize up front if this idea has been done. I sure hope not but rest assured I still have every intention of seeing this fic completed even if it has. I only hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.