One Piece Fan Fiction ❯ Cursed Island of the Devil Fruit Gods ❯ Nothing To Sneeze At ( Chapter 23 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Usopp hit the ground as a hail of machine-gun propelled projectiles blew over his head. "What are you shooting?!" Usopp cried, turning over onto his back and scrambling to his feet to continue running.
His opponent snorted, sniffing, and pulled his finger out of his nostril. "Bikou-Bikou no Mi...My nose is my weapon." the Paramecian explained. "I have an unlimited supply of nose rocks to blast at you, and that's not all. No one walks away from a fight with Kushami." he grinned, pressing one nostril closed and continuing to fire at Usopp.
Usopp took cover behind a rock and readied his weapon; with no time to pull out Kabuto, he loaded his best option of ammo into his slingshot. "Nosy character, aren't you? I think I've got just the thing to put you in your place!" Usopp laughed bravely, though his knees were trembling.
"That's if you stop running away long enough." Kushami sneered. "Come here and take it like a man!" Kushami unplugged both his nostrils and, utilizing his Devil Fruit to its fullest, expanded the size of both nostrils until a cannonball could have fit inside each. He began sucking in air like a vaccuum cleaner, with everything going in one nostril, and coming safely out the other without hurting him. "You can't run forever!" he shouted over the rushing winds.
Usopp screamed, almost dropping his slingshot, and grabbed at the ground, clawing at it to keep from being drawn in by Kushami's vortex. "This is the last way I'd want to die!" Usopp shrieked. He was getting closer and closer, and finally he had no choice. He turned around and aimed his slingshot, feeling his body get hoisted up into the air as it sailed towards Kushami's nose. "Take this, freak! Sneezing Pepper Star!" Usopp shot the bag of powder into Kushami's nose at the right angle, hitting the inside of his nose and exploding, sending a cloud of irritating pepper into Kushami's nose. Usopp plummeted to the ground as the suction stopped suddenly, and Kushami's eyes were watering, his nose shrinking back to normal size. But Usopp's eyes widened as he came to a sudden realization. "Oh, no...what have I done?!" he cried, hopping up and running as fast as he could away from Kushami.
"Ah...ah...ah...CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!< /i>" Kushami sneezed loudly, his nostrils both now big enough to fit Chopper inside of them, and a horrendous windstorm burst forth from them, chasing down Usopp faster than even the cowardly marathon-runner could go. Usopp was once again lifted off his feet, screaming, and spun around like he was caught in a tornado, until he was slammed into the side of the mountain.
"Bless me..." Kushami wiped his nose after it regressed to normal size. "Man, I don't know what was in that thing but I like it! It gives me an even better way of killing you!" he laughed.
"Ooohhhh..." Usopp groaned, shaking as he pulled himself to his feet again. "That was dumb...how'll I fight him now? I can't use his nose against him...it's too much of a strength to be a weakness!"
"Try this one on for size!" Kushami didn't give Usopp a chance to recover, plugging a nostril and expanding the other even larger than before, and fired an enormous green ball out. Usopp screamed and ducked. The green ball splattered against the side of the mountain; a small bird had been flying there, and was hit by it. It struggled beneath the slimy mass and suffocated seconds later.
"That was almost me!" Usopp gulped. "And stop fighting me with your boogers, that's gross!"
Kushami snorted, and continued pursuing Usopp from a distance. "I'll fight you however I want." Kushami sneered.
It was then that something turned in Usopp's favor. Chopper was running away from his opponent, the foul smell becoming close to unbearable, and Kushami pulled back in disgust. "I told you to stay away from me, Ekirei!" he shouted at
Chopper's opponent, identifying the foul-smelling man.
"Bite me!" Ekirei stuck out his tongue, continuing to chase after Chopper.
Usopp smiled out of the corner of his mouth. "So you don't like that, huh?" he giggled happily. Finally, a way to fight back! He took out another Dial from his bag that he hadn't yet used, the Breath Dial. Holding it in his hand, he grabbed another object out of his bag. "Rotten Egg Star!" he shouted, smashing the rotting egg on the Dial. The smell of the thing instantly vanished, absorbed into the disc-like Dial. Usopp repeated this, smashing a dozen eggs into the Dial before running out. "Hope I won't need them again any time soon..." he panted, wiping the filthy mess off of his hands and the Dial. Kushami was approaching.
"I won't give you a chance to do anything to me, you can't force me to smell something that stinks! I won't fall for your stupid tricks!" Kushami shot out another cannonball-sized booger. Usopp ducked behind a rock and gasped as the impact cracked the rock in half. He was still unharmed and didn't get hit, but that rattled him. It seemed Kushami had been holding back before, and was going all out now that he believed Usopp could pose a threat.
Usopp grinned. So Kushami was afraid now, then? They were both afraid of each other, and that didn't happen often in Usopp's fights, at least not without his skills in telling tall-tales. Usopp's nervous sweating finally came in handy as he rubbed the Dial on his armpits to absorb the smell, and even held it up to his backside to absorb a fart. "I wonder if that's enough..." Usopp began running again. He fished one last thing out of his bag to complete the mixture of putrid odors. He withdrew a clove of garlic and chewed it quickly, breathing over and over into the Dial. "It's ready! Come and get me, Kushami!" Usopp dared him. He donned his Sogeking mask then, and gave a loud roar of power. "Do you see this mask?! This is the source of my power! It was given to me by the king of sharpshooters, for inheriting his mantle! This is how I defeated Maboroshi! And with it I shall defeat you!"
Kushami looked put off, but knew he had to defeat Usopp now or suffer Maboroshi's fate. "I'll give you both barrels!" Kushami growled, launching twin cannonball-sized boogers at Usopp. They soared above Usopp's head, almost like Kushami had missed on purpose.
"What was that? Are you so afraid your aim is off?" Usopp laughed. But he was premature in judging Kushami's shot. The boogers rocked the cliff wall above him and it was beginning to crumble. "Oh, no!" Usopp cried. The dusty mountainside encased Usopp in a cloud of dirt before the rocks came tumbling down atop where he'd been standing.
Kushami laughed triumphantly. "I won! You fool, never give away secrets like that until after you've won!" Kumashi taunted. "Now to find your body so I can present it as a trophy to Lord Daikyojin, and be rewarded handsomely!"
He blew away the dust with a nasal gust, and searched the small pile of rocks for Usopp's remains. He saw Usopp's mask and grabbed it, but Usopp's body did not lay beneath it. "What the hell? Where is he?" he wondered, not sure how Usopp could have gotten out of that situation.
"That was a decoy." Usopp's breathless voice rasped behind Kushami. Kushami turned around aghast, to find Usopp's hand wrap around his mouth, and Usopp's other hand shoving the Breath Dial up to his nose. "Unleash!" Usopp cried, and with Kushami unable to breathe out his mouth, he had no choice but to inhale air through his nose, along with every foul stench Usopp had pumped into the Dial. Kushami's eyes rolled back in his head as a disgusted moan rumbled in his throat, and he fell back onto the rocks. Usopp retrieved his mask. Kushami was paralyzed from the shock of the stench and could no longer fight. His eyes reopened, but were unfocused.
"H-how...how did you survive the rocks?" he coughed, spitting up a little.
"I never got hit by the rocks. I noticed something after your last shot at me that split that rock I hid behind. You can't see past your nose when you grow out your nostrils, can you?" Usopp smiled. "So I anticipated the second you were going to attack again, and I set the mask up as a decoy. I put the mask on a stick and hid, so you attacked the mask, thinking I was wearing it. I used that chance to sneak up behind you." Usopp explained.
"You sneaky bastard...I always thought I had no weaknesses except bad smells..." Kushami coughed. "But I concede. You have won."
"Thank you. Now I have to go help my friends. It was a good fight...apart from all the disgusting things you did. But I guess I can't complain since I had to do a lot of them to beat you." Usopp laughed. He turned around and hurried over to the center of the village to find his friends, hoping they weren't worse for the wear.

Daikyojin smashed Luffy beneath his gigantic foot, his leg sinking into the ground all the way to the knee and creating a tremor that shook the entire village. "Die! Die!" Daikyojin snarled, his voice reverberating throughout the vicinity. He dropped to his knees, pounding the ground where Luffy had sank as he widened and deepened the crater. A green mist began rising from the ground and he could not see Luffy's body anywhere. "Well. That takes care of that little nuisance." he stood back up triumphantly. "See, outsiders, what happens when you defy the will of the gods?" he laughed. "I'll crush all of you myself!" he began looking for them to kill them without further delay.
Chiyu gasped. "Daddy, he's going to hurt our friends!"
"Chiyu...finish healing me." Ryuumaoh implored her.
Chiyu's face was wrenched with pain, but she continued to pump life-force into her father until his wounds vanished and he would be battle ready. Sanji stood before them, standing guard in case things went badly. Daikyojin approached them, looking down on them. "This is almost too easy. I feel a bit ashamed to do this but you were foolish to challenge us." Daikyojin told them, reaching down to crush them in his palm.
Sanji leaped up to intercept. "Dedo!" he cried, slamming his foot into Daikyojin's finger, the cracking of the giant's bones nearly ear-splitting. Daikyojin howled in pain, pulling his hand back.
"How can you outsiders possess such strength?!" he roared. "Then just die, crushed like insects like your worthless friend!"
He lifted his leg to crush them like he had done to Luffy but by then, Ryuumaoh was ready to rise again. His wings unfurled and he soared into the sky, spitting fire into Daikyojin's face. Sanji took the opportunity to drag Chiyu away from the danger zone. Ryuumaoh slowly extended to his full size. "I did not feel the urge to destroy you before, but if you lack honor I shall beat it into you!" Ryuumaoh declared. Even though he wasn't quite as large as Daikyojin, he possessed claws and flame breath to give him an advantage. "Let us see which one of us is strongest-and leave the gods out of this!"

Luffy awakened in pitch-darkness. "Huh? Where am I? I can't feel my body!" he complained. It felt like he was free-floating but he couldn't move or tell if he was falling or hovering in place. A voice began to rattle him, and it was only that voice that allowed him to feel that his body was even still intact.
"My sanctuary has been breached? Impossible! For that to happen a power rivaling my own would have to...but of course..." it said.
Luffy had no idea where the voice was coming from, it felt like it was coming at him from any number of people from every direction. "Ossan?" Luffy asked, thinking the voice sounded like and old man.
"Boy of rubber..." the great, resonating voice declared. It sounded like, for lack of a better comparison, the voice of a god. "You possess powers beyond what mortal man are meant to achieve."
Luffy blinked. His body seemed to be regaining its composure. "Huh? What are you talking about, Ossan? Where am I? Why don't I feel hungry? I was hungry a minute ago!" Luffy asked.
"SILENCE!"the voice growled. "You have strength that rivals that of gods and yet you appear to have the mind of a child. I am interested in making this power of yours my own. If you shall agree to serve me I may allow your companions to survive this ordeal. Will you turn your power over to me and become one of my Shinigami?" the voice asked him.
"You're boring, Ossan! Why are you so interested in me? My grampa's like a million years older than anyone and he only wants to kill me just because I'm a pirate instead of a Marine like he wanted!" Luffy yawned, apparently bored with this phenomena.
"Insolent brat!" the voice roared in indignation. It calmed down after a moment and changed its tone. "A test then." the voice proposed. "If you truly are worthy you can defeat Daikyojin. After that, you shall face my Shinigami and you will have no choice but to join me or be destroyed."
"Oi, Ossan, you talk too much. Let me get out of here and find my nakama." Luffy began looking around for a way out. He was already regaining control of his body.
"I cannot contain you here much longer...your power is truly impressive even beyond my expectations. I look forward to adding you to my collection." the voice said, with a slight hint of amused laughter.
Luffy frowned, but then had a puzzled look on his face when the darkness became a sea of a gaseous green that engulfed him. "What now, Ossan? I want to go back and fight that giant-man!" Luffy whined. But then he felt his body rising, like it was being forced up from a geyser.

The fight between Daikyojin and Ryuumaoh was heating up; Daikyojin's face was sporting several burn wounds, and Ryuumaoh had cracked, broken scales all over his body. Both of them were bleeding from wounds all over their bodies, but Ryuumaoh was worse for the wear. He kept holding back because he didn't want to knock Daikyojin down and risk having him fall on one of the Straw Hats. A loud roar from far off caught their attention and they looked in the direction of the volcano. "Is the volcano erupting?!" they both gasped simultaneously. Such a thing had never happened in over 1000 years.
But a geyser of green burst forth into the air, and out of it, the tiniest speck could be seen. Luffy had been ejected from the volcano somehow, though it had no doubt been the doing of the mysterious voice. "GIANT-MAN! I'm coming for you again!" Luffy shouted.
Ryuumaoh didn't miss a beat; in seconds he was back down to size and zipping off towards the volcano. He was going to personally deliver Luffy back to the battlefield. The geyser of green energy dissipated and Luffy began to fall. He grinned as he grabbed onto Ryuumaoh's horns and perched on his back. "Let's go, Dragon-Man!" Luffy laughed.
"Is it just me or...does it feel like you're stronger than before?" Ryuumaoh asked him.
"Maybe! I just know I'm really mad at that Giant-Man!" Luffy made an angry face. He stood up on Ryuumaoh's back and began to squat. He pumped air into his legs and began to smoke. "Gear Second!"
"But that won't work on him, you won't be able to match his size!" Ryuumaoh wondered what Luffy was thinking.
"I'm not doing it alone! He's trying to hurt my nakama, so I'll use my nakama to help me hurt him back!" Luffy grinned. "SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNJJIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!"Luffy called out.
Sanji heard it and saw Luffy and Ryuumaoh approaching. "Guess that means I'm needed. Can you find a good hiding place until your daddy gets back?" Sanji asked Chiyu. She shook her head and pointed behind Sanji; Usopp was already running towards them. "Usopp! Watch Chiyu for me! I have to help Luffy!" Sanji told him.
Usopp nodded, taking Chiyu's hand. "What are you going to do to help him?" Usopp asked, panting.
"I have no idea...hopefully it won't be another suicide attack." Sanji gulped.