One Piece Fan Fiction ❯ The Adventures of Mario D. Luffy and Captain Lusopp ❯ Vivi's Voice Stolen ( Chapter 1 )

Luffy and Usopp

 

Disclaimer: I do not own the plot, I do not own One Piece, this is inspired by Pikario and Chuigi, and this fic is not supposed to be serious. It is a comedy fic. Don't be fooled by the start!

 

We begin our story in the great kingdom known as East Blue. A great event was happening today for the great Princess Vivi was to be visited by two messengers from the kingdom known as Grand Line.

 

One was a small boy named Coby and the other was a lovely young woman named Makino. She bowed down to the beautiful Princess Vivi and said, “It is an honor to make your acquaintance. Queen Robin sends you her best wishes. We present to you a gift.”

 

They opened up a small gift assigned to be presented to the princess as a green gas spewed out of it and covered Vivi's face. The princess fell asleep with the royal guards staring in shock as Makino laughed and transformed into a different figure, an evil man with a big egg-shaped head, four pigtails and a slim body by the name of Hexason Shobiru. (I only describe him because he was in a One-Shot chapter, so not many will know him)

 

The man laughed and said, “Finally, we have Princess Vivi unconscious! Now, we will take her back to the base!”

 

“Why do we need her?” asked the little boy, who had transformed into an otter riding on a vulture's talons named Mr. 13.

 

“Wait, we only need her voice,” Hexason stated, “All right, let's go. Did you remember to raid the fridge of every pudding pack you could find?”

 

“Sure did!” retorted Mr. 13 as the duo flew up towards a big flying ship that had been conveniently hovering over the castle for the last 10 hours with no one noticing.

 

The princess' main guard, a man by the name of Chaka, angrily slammed his fist against the ground and cursed, “DAMMIT! How can I have sex with a girl who can't speak?”

 

One of the guards turned to him and asked, “Uh… isn't that fact that she can't talk a good thing? I mean, you could molest her all you like and she wouldn't resist or report you.”

 

“Still,” Chaka complained, “it takes the fun out of sex! Besides, we all know her speech will be replaced by explosives, anyway, so let's call the only two people who can help her: The Super Mario Brothers!”

 

“Um…” one of the guard replied, “The Mario Brothers don't exist in this story. Instead, we got two wanted pirates name Mario D. Luffy and his buddy, Lusopp.”

 

Meanwhile, at a motor home known as the Going Merry, a man by the name of Lusopp was hanging up clothes when a royal guard from Alabasta Castle ran up to him, or rather ran INTO him knocking him over and placing his mouth around the boy's nose.

 

He quickly pulled it away and shouted, “SORRY ABOUT THAT, LUSOPP! I NEED TO SPEAK TO MARIO D. LUFFY! IS HE IN?”

 

Lusopp nodded and said, “He's in the house. And my name is Usopp, and his name is MONKEY D. Luffy.”

 

The guard pushed Lusopp to the side and ran into the house. He ran into a shower and expected to see Luffy in there, but nobody was home. Then, he heard the sounds of a bed vibrating and ran into the room upstairs to see a kid with a straw hat.

 

He ran out of the room and passed out shouting, “GOD, A DICK SHOULD NOT BE THAT BIG!”

 

Luffy ran out of his room and asked, “What the hell is wrong with you? That was very rude! I was in the middle of masturbating and my erection was thiiiiiiiis big!”

 

The guard shook with everlasting fear and uttered, “Emergency… princess… in… trouble…”

 

Upon hearing this, Luffy ran outside of the house and shouted, “USOPP, THE PRINCESS IS IN TROUBLE!”

 

Usopp trembled with fear and retorted, “I'M NOT GOING! BESIDES, THIS IS YOUR PROBLEM!”

 

“Screw you!” Luffy retorted, “For once, you're going to help me with something! Besides, we don't know who the princess for this fic is yet! If we're lucky, it might be Kaya! If I'm lucky, it'll be Nami.”

 

Usopp was still scared, so Luffy picked him up by his nose and dragged him off.

 

We now cut to the castle where a man named Crocodile was standing sinister-like in front of Princess Vivi who was too busy crying to care.

 

Then, Luffy came in at blinding speed shouting, “GOMU-GOMU NO ROCKET!” thus flying into Croc's back sending the man flying through the wall.

 

“Did we defeat the enemy already?” he asked as Crocodile entered through the wall with great anger and spat, “YOU'RE DEAD, LITTLE MAN!”

 

Then, a battle transition took place.

 

“Dammit!” Luffy cursed, “I was hoping to avoid turn-based battles!”

 

“Don't worry!” one of the guards replied, “Your attacks dealt so much damage, he lost 8 hit points, so you only need to hit him once, but first, you have to learn how to fight!”

 

“Screw that!” Luffy retorted, “I don't need to time my attacks! I'm not some pissant Mario brother!”

 

Then, he raised his fist back and shouted, “GOMU-GOMU NO PISTOL!” thus defeating Crocodile in one hit.

 

The man lay on the ground and cursed, “Damn, you're still as strong as ever.”

 

Then, he noticed Vivi start to speak, but instead of words, a bunch of weapons appeared in her speech bubble and flew at the people in the area.

 

“I was going to explain that!” a royal guard said, “See, the ambassador of the Grand Line came to visit the princess, but she ended up being an imposter, a MALE imposter at that, and stole her voice thus replacing it with a bunch of deadly weapons!”

 

Luffy thought for a moment and quickly wrapped his fingers around her and shouted, “GOMU-GOMU NO MUZZLE! There! Now she can't interrupt us and try to kill us with that famous ending speech! Frankly, I don't care about this travesty! If the princess isn't Nami, she isn't worth saving! I mean, Vivi had a stupid voice to begin with, so this is actually an improvement, and furthermore, nobody gives a crap about Vivi! I'm leaving and so is Usopp!”

 

“Wait!” the guard known as Chaka retorted, “You may not care about her, but I and Pell both do, and she is to have a twosome with us tonight. Please, retrieve her voice so we can once again have meaningful sex with her.”

 

Luffy grunted and said, “Fine, but only for Pell's sake. I don't give a rat's ass about you. Usopp, you're coming too.”

 

“Why should I?” he spat, “I only do a good job in battle when I'm motivated by my dear sweet Kaya! This woman isn't worth saving!”

 

“Dude…” Luffy sighed, “Do it for Pell's sake. He's cool.”

 

“Pell is not cool!” Usopp retorted, “Pell came back to life! He's not a hero like every other person in the series!”

 

Luffy flipped him off and decided to go alone. He was informed that the Deathpiea would be there to pick him up tomorrow.

 

Luffy met Pell at the East Blue airport the next day. The two hugged as Pell said, “Give them hell, Luffy, and I apologize for not helping you with this.”

 

“It's alright,” Luffy replied, “It's not your fault the damn creators made you a minor character who can hardly stand up for himself.”

 

Then, Luffy walked up to a large ship called the Deathpiea, stealing a piece of meat, a barrel of water and a Devil Fruit along the way, and met up with Crocodile.

 

“This is too perfect!” the man laughed, “Mario D. Luffy is on my side!”

 

“How many times must I say this?” Luffy asked, “I AM NOT A FRICKEN MARIO BROTHER!”

 

“Whatever,” the sandman retorted as he raised his hand in the air and shouted, “BAROQUE WORKS, ASSEMBLE!”

 

Upon saying this, the 80 weakest members of Baroque Works (The ones Zoro fought in Whiskey Peak minus Vivi, Igaram, Mr. 9 and Ms. Monday) assembled together and shouted, “SPACE BARBARIANS ARE GO!”

 

“Shut up!” Crocodile retorted, “You're all idiots! The sequel takes place in space, not this one! Now, where are Mr. 100 and Ms. January First?”

 

A little kid ran up and said, “Sorry, Mommy was having her period!”

 

“God, why do I even care about the weakest members of this team, anyway?” he asked, slapping his forehead, “Now, let's get on board!”

 

As the Baroque Works members boarded the flying vessel, Crocodile noticed Usopp waving goodbye to his partner and said, “Hey, he seems eager to join.”

 

Luffy, feeling the sudden urge to make his partner suffer, turned to Crocodile and said, “Yeah, he was more than itching to join your ranks as Mr. 101! He would make a great janitor!”

 

“That's perfect!” Crocodile exclaimed, “We don't have one of those, yet! Let's take the long-nosed mutant along!”

 

Usopp screamed in terror as Crocodile caught his collar with a hook and reeled him in.

 

We now take you into the main quarters where our heroes were resting and waiting for their arrival to the Grand Line. Usopp turned to Luffy and said, “I hate you.”

 

Luffy flipped him off as the main speaker turned on and Crocodile's voice came out shouting, “Listen up, you morons! We'll be arriving shortly, so get your gear ready!”

 

With that, the two got off their lazy butts and headed for the main room. Damn, was that ship big? They had to pass through 20 rooms before reaching a man with a camera. He offered to take their photos, and Usopp did a super-awesome pose. Luffy knocked out the man for telling him to remove his hat as Usopp sighed and took the picture himself.

 

Then, the two had gone through another 50 rooms until they finally reached the top deck. The second Usopp saw the nest, he felt a sudden impulse to climb up and be lookout.

 

“Wow,” Crocodile said, “He's a janitor and my new lookout! He's handy!”

 

Luffy simply panted and said, “You need to get a smaller ship!”

 

Then, suddenly, the crew heard a laugh as man flew in on his magic canoe paddle and stated, “You will never complete your trip for I, the man who stole Vivi's voice, will stop you!”

 

“You're a dumbass,” Luffy retorted, “You've revealed yourself therefore giving showing us who you are so we can beat you senseless and get her voice back now.”

 

Hexason took 20 seconds before he realized his mistake and cursed, “DAMMIT!”

 

Then, he pointed at them and barked, “MR. 13, DESTROY THEM!”

 

Upon seeing the otter and vulture, named Ms. Friday, Crocodile cringed and spat, “YOU'RE BOTH TRAITORS! HOW CAN YOU JOIN SUCH AN UGLY MAN?”

 

The otter flipped him off and spat a bunch of watermelon seeds out of his mouth therefore blowing up the ship and send it crashing down towards a strange mountain. Sadly, Lusopp and Luffy were the only ones who weren't separated from one-another when they landed. Thus marked the beginning of Luffy's worst adventure yet.