Only The Ring Finger Knows Fan Fiction ❯ Affliction ❯ Affliction ( Chapter 1 )

Affliction: Were You Holding Hands When My Wrists Bled?

One-shot

Written by: Chocho (chochowilliams)

Disclaimer: I do not own Only the Ring Finger Knows or the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Summary: Inspired by events from the forth novel. Life had been going so well for Wataru, but now it is starting to fall down around him.

Warning: M/M, implied self-mutilation, minor language, angst, drama

Inserts: “Endlessly She Said” by AFI, DecemberUnderground

A/N: This is the first fanfic I have written entirely devoted to OTRFK. So, please be kind. I did have several of the characters make brief appearances in my Kyo Kara Maoh fanfics. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it. The title is taken from a line from the song “Affliction” off AFI's album, DECEMBERUNDERGROUND.

 

+---+---+---+

 

Walked into our world and made horrible sounds. I can still hear them today. Strangely, they seem beautiful now though they outlast my love. Still, each time I always meant every world, every one. Though, in time they finally bent every word, every one. “I will wait for you,” she said, “endlessly.” “I will wait for you.” So spoke misery. I returned to you but found my empty home. The radio told me to stay. As it burned down I sang alone. You will outlast, my love. I have been waiting for you, biting as you taught me to. I have come to relieve you of life and love.

 

-“Endlessly She Said” by AFI, DecemberUnderground

 

+---+---+

 

With his hands laced together behind his head and his ankles crossed, Wataru stared up at the ceiling high above his head from his horizontal position on his bed. His mind was blank as he fought against the turmoil of emotions and thoughts that were threatening to overwhelm him.

 

Yuichi Kazuki, his boyfriend of two years, was still in America. He was supposed to have been gone for only a week. Then it changed to two weeks. Now it was closing in on three.

 

Flipping onto his side, Wataru curled into a fetal position as the first tear slid down his face. It vanished with the folds of his pillow.

 

He knew, once again, the reason for his depression was his own fault. It was he who had told Yuichi to go and be with his sick ex-girlfriend while she underwent surgery.

 

But now…

 

Wataru shook those thoughts aside before they fully formed.

 

No, Yuichi would be back. He had obligations not only with the Renovation Research Society that he has been working with for the past year under the leadership of Masanobu Asaka, but also at the café where he worked part time. Not to mention classes were starting back up pretty soon.

 

Not to mention, last summer while they vacationed in Naha, Yuichi had asked Wataru to move in with him so that they could have more time together. That was something Wataru had been looking forward to ever since. To tell the truth, he was extremely nervous. It was a huge step. Up until now, he has spent not only practically, every weekend, but also almost every free moment at Yuichi's apartment that it had become his home away from home. Until couples like them were given more rights, living together was probably the closest Wataru could come to actually being married to Yuichi.

 

Wataru felt his face flush hotly at that thought.

 

Ultimately, instead of promising eternity to each other at the start, Wataru would rather arrive at eternity in the end with Yuichi (1).

 

What would it be like to grow old with Yuichi? To have a family? To have what his parents have together?

 

Maybe there were some unforeseen complications. It happened. He just wished that Yuichi would not have been so cryptic on the phone, but then again that was Yuichi Kazuki for you.

 

Then his thoughts turned darker.

 

Could it be that Yuichi discovered that he still had feelings for his ex?

 

To fall in love is quick. But to get over that love took what seemed like a lifetime. It just was not fair. He knew that from experience.

 

Last year Shohei “let it slip” that Wataru resembled Yuichi's ex-girlfriend quite a bit. Was that why Yuichi fell in love with him in the first place? Because the smile that he loved so much reminded him of her?

 

He had to admit that when he suggested that Yuichi go and be with his ex-girlfriend during this difficult time, he had actually been hoping that Yuichi would…kindly…reject her. But instead…

 

What did it mean when your boyfriend would rather spend the summer with his ex then with you?

 

Wataru could tell himself over and over and over again that, it did not mean anything. She was sick.

 

He tried to tell himself that Yuichi loved him and not her. The proof to that was that it was his ring Yuichi wore. It was with him that Yuichi wanted to build a future. It was to him that Yuichi had pledged and promised himself.

 

But, if that were the truth, then what was this heavy feeling?

 

“Wataru!”

 

Startled out of his thoughts, Wataru turned the upper half of his body towards the door.

 

The door creaked open and Karin's head popped into view.

 

Wataru hurriedly scrubbed at his face, but not before Karin noticed the tears. She said nothing as she pushed open the door and hopped into her brother's room.

 

“Uhm, you, uh, got a letter, Wataru,” she said softly. From behind her back, she produced a white business envelope. “It's from Kazuki.”

 

“From…Kazuki?”

 

Karin nodded.

 

Wataru scrambled off the bed and snatched the letter from her. There printed clearly on the front of the envelope was his name and address. It looked like Yuichi's handwriting. He flipped over the envelope. Printed at the bottom was Yuichi's name.

 

His heart started pounding in anticipation. Licking lips gone dry, Wataru wiggled his finger under the flap. Ripping the top of the envelope open, Wataru reached inside with a trembling hand. His mind swirled with confusion when his fingers hit something small, round and hard.

 

Pulling out his hand, he slowly uncurled his fingers.

 

“Oh! Wataru,” Karin cried. “Is that…?”

 

It was. Lying in his palm was a silver ring with a thin gold band. It was Yuichi's ring. The one that had at one time belonged to Wataru. The twin to the one Masanobu had stolen from him earlier.

 

Fear and confusion stole Wataru's breath and stilled his heart. His vision blurred and then doubled behind a veil of tears.

 

Kazuki…Why?

 

The ring that had held so many promises tumbled out of Wataru's hand and clattered to the floor where it rolled across the floor and vanished among the mountain of clothes that Wataru had yet to put away.

 

+---+---+

 

(A Week Later)

 

“Mm. That doesn't sound like Yuichi at all.”

 

“Yeah, I know! That's what I said, but he won't listen…I'm really starting to worry about him, Toko,” Karin whispered softly over the phone a week later.

 

“…Are you sure it was his ring?”

 

“Unfortunately,” Karin sighed. “I recognized it immediately.”

 

“Hm.”

 

Something occurred to Karin then. “…You don't think…?” Her heart started pounding in her chest.

 

“…”

 

“Toko?”

 

“Huh? Oh. Uh, no. No, of course not! I don't know anyone who would do something so selfish or callous.”

 

Karin did. She remembered all too well, what Mai Tachibana and her two cronies did to her at this past October's Ryokuyo Fest at her brother's school when they thought that she was Yuichi's girlfriend. Mai was so in love with Yuichi that she had been willing to do anything to get her out of the way. But such a selfish act did not constitute love. Love is what Yuichi and Wataru shared. What all those girls felt was nothing more than a simple crush. Or in Mai's case, an unhealthy obsession. But after being confronted yet again by Yuichi, Mai finally took the hint and backed off.

 

So, if she was not behind this plot, then what was going on? None of this made any sense! Wataru had confessed to her last summer that Yuichi had asked him to move in with him come this spring. And if that did not mean that Yuichi Kazuki was one-step closer to becoming her brother-in-law, then she was a monkey's uncle. Why would he do that if he were going to pull something like this?

 

Aah! She was so confused.

 

“…What am I supposed to say to him?” Karin was not sure there was anything she could say and that hurt more than anything else did. “And what about our parents?” She sighed. “I mean, I told them that he had been seeing someone recently, but that they broke up.” They had seemed satisfied with that answer at first, but then as Wataru continued to remain listless and withdrawn, they were beginning to become increasingly concerned. Not that she blamed them one bit, but what was she supposed to tell them when they asked her? “I hate lying to them…”

 

“…but it is not your place to tell your parents your brother's secret.”

 

“Right,” Karin sighed. She had never felt so helpless or conflicted before. It felt like she was caught between the devil and the great blue sea.

 

“I think the only thing you can do is be there for him. Lend him an ear and a shoulder…but there may come a time when you have to break his confidence and tell your parents everything.”

 

That was what she was afraid of.

 

“I'm sure Wataru will understand.”

 

A series of sharp raps on the front door resounded through the still house.

 

“Oh! Toko, I gotta go. There's someone at the door.”

 

“Okay. Call me if you need anything, alright?”

 

“I will. And thanks.”

 

“You are welcome. I'll see you tomorrow.”

 

“Yeah. Bye.” Karin hung up the phone and sprinted through the house. She unlocked the door and flung it open. She was stunned to a standstill. Her smile wilted. “K-Ka…zuki?”

 

+---+---+

 

Parfait

 

She stared blankly down at the twin rings lying upon the blue velvet cloth. They twinkled in the light shinning down from above.

 

The tinkling of bells shook Toko from her thoughts. “Good evening,” she greeted the trio of giggling females.

 

The teenagers bowed in greeting.

 

“If you need anything, feel free to ask.”

 

Huddled together, the girls veered straight towards the selection of rings that were on a display shelf on the far wall.

 

Toko's forehead creased in thought. If what Wataru received a week ago was really his ring that he exchanged with Yuichi and not a forgery, then there was only one explanation.

 

A surge of anger rushed through her. Her hand clenched into a fisted hand.

 

How could he continue to meddle like this? She had not meddled and stayed silent for far too long. It was about time she sat her dear cousin down and had a long talk with him.

 

+---+---+

 

She scolded herself as soon as his name flowed passed her lips. What was she thinking? This guy was not Yuichi. Though he certainly resembled Yuichi quite a bit in passing, she could tell immediately that their mannerisms, the way they held themselves and even their auras were completely different.

 

The man grinned at her in amusement. “It seems I have the right house.”

 

Karin studied the man warily.

 

“I am a friend of Wataru's.”

 

“Oh!”

 

“Is he in?”

 

“Yes, of course. Come in.” She stepped aside to allow the man to enter. Then shut the door behind him. Folding her legs beneath her, she knelt on the floor before him and set a pair of house slippers before him.

 

Masanobu exchanged his sneakers for the slippers.

 

“May I ask a favor of you?” Karin asked the man.

 

“Of course.”

 

Karin placed his sneakers neatly besides the others lining the wall. “Do you think you could talk to my brother?”

 

“Certainly. About anything specific?”

 

Clasping her hands between her knees, she stared at floor blankly. “He recently broke up with his lover and he is taking it pretty hard.” To say the least. She was not sure their parents realized to the extent that this break up was affecting Wataru. For that matter, she was not sure she did either.

 

It broke her heart to see her brother nowadays. Karin was not sure when or even if he slept for every time she saw him, he was sitting at the bay window in his room that overlooked the backyard staring out the window with a pained expression on his face. There were dark circles under his eyes indicating a lack thereof or a troubled sleep. His face was dangerously pale and gaunt. Wataru had always been a little on the lean side, but he was slowly becoming almost emaciated for he refused to eat. Though she never witnessed it first hand, it was evident that Wataru spent most of the day and night crying. He has also not said a single word since he received Kazuki's ring in the mail.

 

If it were anyone else, Karin would say that he was blowing this whole break up thing way out of proportion. She would tell him that it was not the end of the world. There were other fish in the sea. High school romances usually did not last anyway. Blah. Blah. Blah. But it was not anyone else. It was Wataru and Yuichi. Something like this just did not happen all of a sudden. It may be in hindsight, but there were always indicators or signs, but there had been none. No, she refused to believe it. Yuichi loved her brother and her brother loved Yuichi. There were no ifs, ands or buts about it. Something was off about this whole situation. She smelled a rat.

 

Masanobu smiled softly in understanding, as he remembered all too clearly the months, no years, after his relationship broke apart. He had only started to get over not only the break up, but also her death that faithful day he met Wataru. For that, he would forever be thankful to him.

 

“Ya know, he broke up with his lover once before?” Karin's soft voice broke into his thoughts.

 

“Really?” That surprised him. He did not remember hearing anything like that and he was sure he would have.

 

“Actually, it was before they started going out,” she clarified. “They had a huge argument…”

 

Masanobu had been witness to a few of Yuichi and Wataru's fights. It had been a surprise at first. To think that someone like Wataru who seemed to be too much in love with his boyfriend that he would submissively do whatever he was told by said boyfriend would have enough backbone to yell at him for having a nasty personality. But no matter how many mean, spiteful or demeaning words were exchanged between the two, no matter how brash Yuichi was towards Wataru, Wataru remained faithfully by Yuichi's side. And to think that Yuichi would go over a line that Masanobu had not even realized even existed was something he found hard to believe.

 

They had the kind of relationship that he envied.

 

“I'm not sure what they were fighting about, but my brother, Wataru, really…he looked like Death itself.” Karin was not sure how else to explain it.

 

That did not surprise Masanobu. For someone like Wataru who was so attached, so apparently dependent on his partner, having their relationship come to an end would probably be the same as if his life was coming to an end.

 

And that was why he had warned Wataru against loving Yuichi too much. He thought his worries had been unwarranted when he had witnessed the usually docile Wataru stand up to Yuichi. But now, hearing this, he was not so sure anymore.

 

If Wataru had “looked like Death itself” over an argument with Yuichi before they were even officially together, then just how bad was he taking this break up now that Yuichi and he had confessed their feelings for each other?

 

“But after they made up and starting going out…I have never seen my brother so happy.”

 

Masanobu studied Karin's face. It was alive with color. His heart pained him when he looked her happy face. “I'll do what I can,” he told Karin.

 

Karin smiled gratefully up at him. “Thank you.”

 

+---+---+

 

Masanobu knocked lightly on Wataru's bedroom door. No answer. He had expected as much. He knocked again and this time called Wataru's name. Again nothing. He tried the doorknob. It was unlocked. He twisted the brass knob and pushed open the door gently. “Wataru,” he called softly as he stuck his head into the room. He frowned. Throwing the door open wider, he stepped inside the bedroom and gave it a quick once over. “Wataru?” But Wataru was gone.

 

+---+---+

 

Pushing through the swinging door that separated the hallway that housed the bedrooms, bathroom and utility room from the rest of the house, Masanobu stepped slowly back out into the living room. As the door swung shut behind him, he glanced around the Great Room that consisted of the living room, dining room and kitchen. He spied Wataru's younger sister, Karin, standing with her back to him in the kitchen. It appeared as if she were looking at something. He slowly approached her.

 

She must have heard him, for she turned towards him. “Are you…Asaka?” she asked him before he could say anything.

 

Frowning, Masanobu nodded. “Yes, I am.” That was strange. He did not remember telling her his name.

 

Karin held out her hand to him.

 

That was when he noticed that she was holding a white business sized envelope in her hand.

 

“It has your name on it,” she informed him.

 

“For…me?” Masanobu gently took the envelope from her. He flipped it over. Karin was right. Right there in slanted scrawl was his name.

 

“It's my brother's handwriting.”

 

Masanobu's head snapped up. “From Wataru?” With his heart pounding heavily against his ribcage, he gulped and took a deep breath to calm himself. Flipping the envelope over, he lifted the flap and pulled out a piece of lined notebook paper. He unfolded the piece of paper.

 

At first, he did not understand what it was he was supposed to be reading. There were characters forming words, which formed sentences in order to express thoughts and emotions. But his brain refused to make sense out of any of it. It was only after the third or forth read through that he began to understand.

 

Watching his face slowly go white, Karin grew quickly concerned. “Are you alright?”

 

Feeling lightheaded and slightly nauseous, Masanobu muttered something and rushed out of the house.

 

Karin blinked after him.

 

+---+---+

 

“Masa,” Shohei greeted as the young man rushed into his office. “What can I do for you? We did not have anything scheduled did we?”

 

Without saying a word, Masanobu tossed him the letter.

 

Shohei glanced at it where it lay on his desk and then back at Masanobu. “And this is…?”

 

“I think you should read it.”

 

With a cocked eyebrow, Shohei picked it up. He skimmed over it quickly. A smirk pulled the corner of his lips. “Well. Well. Well,” he said as he leaned back in his seat. “So, they figured it out, did they?” Shohei chucked the letter aside.

 

“Shohei-”

 

“I just had an enlightening conversation with Toko.”

 

“Your cousin?”

 

“Did you know that she was the one who made the ring that that dark eyed boy wears?”

 

“You mean Wataru?”

 

“And from a request by Yuichi, no less?”

 

Masanobu was at a loss for words.

 

Shohei's expression grew dark. Once again, his plans had been fouled. This was unacceptable. What was it about that boy that caused Yuichi to defy him time and again? Even Masanobu had fallen under that boy's spell. He knew that neither Yuichi nor Masanobu had had any inclination towards the male sex before this. And they would have none after Wataru was subtracted from the picture. Was it because Wataru was so effeminate? Was it the likeness to their ex-girlfriends he seemed to possess? Or something else all together? No, he refused to believe that this was anything more than a passing phase. Once Yuichi got this out of his system, he could go find himself a nice humble, demure Japanese woman. Someone who he could parade around with in public on his arm with pride. Someone who could give him an heir. Someone who would greet him after a long, hard day's work with a nice, hot dinner. None of this Yuichi would be able to find in someone like Wataru. Continuing on this façade with Wataru would only end up costing Yuichi in the end.

 

Yuichi was dear to him. He had said as much before. All he wanted to do was protect him from his foolish brother from his foolish mistake. No good could come out of being in a same sex relationship. Shohei was not sure where it happened, but somewhere along the path, Yuichi had gotten himself lost and it was up to him to lead the search team to find him.

 

“If you continue with this nonsense, Shohei,” Toko's voice echoed angrily in his head, “you are going to regret it.”

 

Shohei scoffed. He regretted nothing.

 

Once Yuichi came to his senses, he would come running to him, begging him for his forgiveness. Shohei was certain of it.

 

+---+---+

 

A silver ring with a thin gold band glistened under the bathroom lights as it lay on the tiled shelf above the faucet.

 

Turning around, Wataru tilted his head back and let the warm spray rain down around him.

 

Yuichi was finally coming home. He had called last night. His flight should be arriving any time now. Wataru could not wait to see his boyfriend. They had a lot to talk about.

 

+---+---+

 

Yuichi stared out the cab window, watching as the city sped by in a blur of color.

 

Turning his hand over as he lifted it out of his lap, he unfurled his fingers. The setting sun shone through the window to glisten upon a silver ring with a thin gold band encircling it. His ring. The one he had had Toko create for him. An imitation of the ring worn by the one he loved. The same ring he had given to Wataru a year and a half ago.

 

It had arrived in the mail at Mizuho's house in the States the other day. He had immediately called Wataru to demand an explanation only to discover that Wataru had received his ring in the mail that very same day. Yuichi had known at once, who was behind this latest scheme.

 

Damn Shohei!

 

He had even gotten Mizuho in on it.

 

Yuichi knew it was foolish to try to gain his brother's blessing. It was not so much as trying to save Wataru and himself from a lifetime of hellish misery so much as getting his brother to accept him as he was. Whether Shohei wanted to accept it or not, Wataru was a part of Yuichi life's. Now and forever.

 

Yuichi clenched his hand around the ring.

 

“We're here, Sir,” the cabdriver announced as the cab slowed to a halt.

 

Yuichi glanced out the window at Toko's jewelry shop. “Wait here,” he told the man as he slid out of the cab. He hoped his order was ready.

 

+---+---+

 

Lounging on his bed with one arm folded behind his head, Masanobu read and reread the letter Wataru had left for him. One part in particular.

 

“…I know I should have waited to tell you this in person rather than in a letter…but I will tell you the same thing Kazuki told Mai, `My lover is…someone people would find difficult to accept. But, that person is the only one in my eyes. Even if no one understands, as long as that person is there I can go on living. That's how strong my love is. To me, it's someone dear, important, and irreplaceable…I'll say it forever. No matter how much you feel for me, I can't return it (2).' But I would like for us to remain friends if you will have me. If not, that I guess that this is goodbye…”

 

Friends?

 

Masanobu dropped his arm. The grip loosened. The letter fluttered from his hand and sailed across the room to land besides the trash can underneath his desk.

 

“Then I guess this is goodbye,” he whispered.

 

---OWARI---

 

Quote from OTRFK novel vol. 2

Quote from OTRFK novel vol. 3

 

A/N: Only the Ring Finger Knows: And the Ring Confesses(which is the forth volume of the series) is scheduled to be released in English sometime in 2009. I cannot wait!

 

So, what did you think? Did you get it? Another plan hatched by prejudicial, bigoted Shohei.