Original Stories Fan Fiction / Romance Fan Fiction ❯ To Love & Be Loved ❯ Chapter 1: To Be Loved ( Chapter 1 )

To Love & Be Loved

 

Author's Notes: So we begin, I'm sure the prologue is as confusing as hell. Why? Well, let's just say that writing in first person point of view tend to confused the readers because it's kind of hard to tell the gender of the speaker when words that were said seemed to be coming from a young fella. As mentioned in the last one, this is a girlxgirl with some boyxboy in it. Enjoy!

 

Chapter I: To Be Loved

 

It was hard to believe that the girl I've fallen far was cruel enough to deny that we spent a night together at the bar, though I had to twist some of the truth to get her to remember that night. To be honest, I've never really go all the way with a girl before, it's not that I'm afraid or I'm straight or something else. I don't know what come over me when she asked me to go to the back of the bar with her after was danced together, because it's a known factor that the back of the bar was a room reserved for spending the night with a stranger having your wildest fantasy fulfilled. I had hardly drink that night, but there's something about that silky white hair on her head that really drawn me in and I just followed her to the back.

 

I was amazed at how she managed to remain sober the whole time we're together in the back room, even though I'm sure she was so intoxicated that she had no idea what she was talking about. She was rough, and I could taste the alcohol in her mouth and lips when we kissed. Her hands were shaky though, maybe from the intoxication but that didn't stop her from making good use of them in removing my clothes. Within a few minutes, I realized that I'm bare and very much naked. I felt vulnerable for the first time in my twenty-four years of life laying there looking up at her; I couldn't help but automatically trying to cover myself up with my hands. She chuckled at my action before leaning down to give me a gentle kiss on my lips as her hands removed my hands away leaving me very much naked.

 

She was being very careful for the first time since we entered the room, and her voice was so husky and low it's hard to keep my heart from picking up speed. Her hands roamed across my body, leaving a burning sensation behind making me shivered ever so lightly. I was slightly nervous because it was my first time actually being physically so close to anyone and I wanted to try it but didn't want to lose it to a stranger. So I begged her not to break it, she promised not to and was still able to leave me breathless without hurting me. I can't even recall if she ever took off her clothes though, but I don't think I would mind much when she tasted every inch of my skin.

 

That whole weekend, I was so relaxed that I felt like gelatin. It was so refreshing like all of my stress was washed away, and I felt like I was in heaven. I thought it was amazing that she could make me feel so exhilarating; soon I can't get the image of the silver hair girl out of my mind. So I started to frequent the bar, hoping to see her again but she rarely come and when she does she's with people. She was popular, always surrounded by people as most of them were men. I had gotten jealous of her, jealous because she turned out to straight. Or maybe I was jealous of all the men surrounding her and talking to her, I wanted to be the one that's talking to her and making her laugh, not them. I wanted her to only look at me and me alone, I know that it's selfish of me but I just can't help it to see her laughing a those men's jokes.

 

Then three weeks ago, she come in late and talked to the bartender for a while until a blonde shown up. That woman seemed to be the same age as my silver hair girl, they looked so content and happy talking to each other. I was boiled with jealousy, but being a coward that I am I just sit there and watched them talking. She didn't drink that night, though the other woman did have a few drinks before they left together. I went home after they left; crawling into bed I just lay there and cried myself to sleep. I really couldn't understand why I was crying over for, it's not like we're dating and I caught her cheating on me. It was just a one night kind of thing, and we go our ways but somehow I got all wrapped up falling in love with a stranger.

 

Tonight, my shift ended earlier than I thought it would be. I had asked for late shift so that I would stop going to the bar and waiting for her. She didn't show up again after that night, my heart ached thinking about her. It's why I wanted the late shift, to bury that pain and worked myself out of thinking about my silver hair girl. Not to mention that I'm soon to be graduating, once I do it's time to go home and work as a neurosurgeon for my father. Oh yes, my father is a Director of a decent hospital in Sendai and he's been there for as long as I could remember. Our family practiced medicine for generations, so it is only natural that I too followed in their footsteps. I have always wanted to be a doctor, not to impress my parents but it's a dream of mine to be able to help mankind. My three brothers were all in the medicine field, though not technically as doctors. One is a chemist, a biologist, and a general health practitioner, and I will soon add to the list as a neurosurgeon since my father was a heart surgeon before he become the Director.

 

I come home early, and I was stopped by a handful of teenagers. I learned self-defense from my brothers since I was a kid, so it's not hard to disarm them but someone interfered before I even did anything. The silky silver hair moved slightly with her movements, but she was careless and got a slash on her right arm before she managed to disarm the knife from the kid. I can see that she knew how to fight; standing there she looked every inch handsome and strong in the chilly night air. My heart skipped a beat at the beautiful sight to behold even under the dim street light; she was a street smart kid with the way she talked. I offered her some help, and she took it because she was irritated and I could see it on her face. I didn't mind though, because tonight I'm going to get to know her no matter what.

 

Things went quite well, until she told me that she's not into older woman. I'm not that old; I'm only twenty-four years old and soon to be graduate with a Ph. D. in neurosurgeon. I could hear her strained voice, she was controlling herself quite well and so I let her get away from me once again. I believe that we'll meet again, because we're fated to meet again. I know that because it's like we're meant to be, she's just perfect and cute trying to be tough and mean like that. She's gentle and sweet, because she showed me her true self that night and I vowed to make her mine sooner or later. Because now I know that she's not into men, this means I'll have a chance to change her mind about dating older woman.

 

Like a prediction comes true, a week later she was rushed into the local hospital I did my intern at. I just got in about two hours ago, and it's barely midnight when I was called for an emergency surgery. When I got there, my silver hair beauty was trying to stop the bleeding on her forehead. It was a pretty big gash that I could see the bone showing, seemed like whatever it was skinned her forehead good. The nurses was telling her to lay down, and she just yelled profanities at them about she only wanted to stitched the flap of skin up and get out of here.

 

“Dr. Zaki, please work on her as fast as you can. She's throwing a tantrum in there,” a nurse pleaded me. They never used my entire last name, saying that they could never get it right so they shorten it for convenience. “I will,” I smiled politely at her before entering the room. “Hello, my name is Dr. Kanzaki.” I managed to keep my voice professional without any hint that I know her. Though she isn't going to act like we don't know each other, because she perked up upon hearing my voice and her eyes looked like she'd just seen a ghost coming into the room, she then turned visibly angry when a nurse tried to get her to lie down again.

 

“Get the fuck off me!” she shouted fist shaking while the other hand was holding onto the flap of skin on her forehead. “What you staring at? Hurry up and stitch it up woman,” she glared at me and I couldn't help but giggled lightly at her words. For someone with that bad of a cut and was still bleeding horribly, she still managed to be so demanding and grumpy. “If I do, will you promise to calm down and listen to the nurses?” I asked her calmly pushing my luck. “Whatever just get this over with so they can get off of me. Get the FUCK off of me!” she really scowled when a male nurse tried to restrain her. I raised my hand to signal him to leave her alone, once he does she calmed down considerably. She even complied in lying down and let us rolled her into the emergency room to get that flap of skin cleaned up before stitching it up.

 

It didn't took her long to wake up from the anesthesia, I was checking her corneas to make sure nothing was abnormal from the amount of blood she lost while cursing at the nurses to get off of her. She was staring at me, but I pretend not to notice of her actions and went about my job. The sound of door opened made us both turned our attention toward the doorway, there stood a blonde woman with a man behind her with worry written on their face.

 

“What the hell do you two want now?” she said flatly at them as I turned my attention back to the clipboard in my hands. “Tee, I'm really sorry…” the blonde started talking. “Sure, you're so sorry that you nearly skinned me alive. Hell, I'll never come to your house again. I'm not your punching bag, if he pissed you off. Hit him with the dishes or something,” she was being sarcastic though I can't be certain since there was anger dripping in her voice. “Look, you just come at a bad time. We just have a minor misunderstanding,” the man chimed in. “My forehead got skinned because I come at the wrong time? Hello? Earth to Jose, you're the one that called me over. I can't imagine what the hell else would happen to me if it was a major misunderstanding,” she said grabbing her blue jacket and pulled out a wrapped up box and throw it at them. “Now get the fuck out, I'm in no mood seeing you two anytime soon. Next time, sit down and have a face-to-face talk like mature adult that you two are. Mary, stay off the damn alcohol when you're upset. You want to go back to rehab again?” she seemed to calm down somewhat. “We're really sorry,” the woman said. “Get out of here already,” my silver beauty said waving them off.

 

“My forehead is stitched, can I leave now?” she asked me. “I'm sorry, but you must stay for a few more hours for us to make sure that nothing is wrong with you.” I answered her as I put the clipboard on the end of the bed. “You people wanted patient to stay so you can charge them an arm and a leg,” she murmured. “That's cruel of you, we only wanted our patient to stay only because we have the best intention to make sure that there's nothing else that was wrong before we let them leave.” I said feeling offended by her words. “Fine. Whatever, there's no need to get your pants twisted in a knot. Touchy,” she said crossing her arms over her chest. “Why don't you get some sleep then,” I replied walking away. “Yeah, I would have to sleep with one eye open with you around,” she retorted. “If it makes you feel better, sure.” I said controlling my pain from slipping into my voice.

 

I love her, but I can't understand what caused her to be so hurtful with people around her. I'm sure she was a good girl before, but something horrible must've changed her and turned her into a bitter person she is today. It can't be helped, but someday I will be the one to make her open up to me and the world again. I would not let anyone hurt her, my silver hair beauty doesn't deserve the kind of anger she's having.

 

So a month went by and I've finished school, it's time to go home. I didn't see her again after that night; it didn't matter anymore because I know that we'll meet again someday. The flight was long and tiresome, but my mother was there to pick me up from the airport. She let me slept all day until dinner, and everyone was home. My brothers with their wife, fiancée, and girlfriend, I can't keep track of any of them and it has been eight years since I left. I didn't come back in the summer because I ended up doing internship all eight summers I was in America. I missed my oldest brother's wedding: Yuta, and Akira's engagement along with Ken's graduation.

 

“So, did you find yourself a cute boyfriend over there? A young, tall, and handsome boy with blonde hair and blue eyes maybe?” Yuta teased me after dinner was over and we all gathered in the living room. “I would expect that coming from Ken-niisan but not you, Yuta-niisan.” I said with a brow slightly raised. “I guess you do remember which of us have which personality huh?” Akira said, he grew his hair long enough to tie it back into a little pony tail. Yuta looked very clean cut like he just come out of the military with his spiky hair, while Ken looked more like a kid with messy hair instead of a young doctor. “Ahem…” our father cleared his throat to get our attention. His hair looked gray and so is his two days unshaven facial hair, while mother just smiled at our interaction.

 

“So Yuki, did you meet someone interesting?” my father asked, I guess he's as curious about my love life as everyone else in this house. “I met a white hair with eyes of the forest most of the times and the deep ocean sometimes. We met at the bar, and in the street, and again at the hospital.” I answered deciding to leave all other details out to see their reactions. “You can't be serious; your first love was a drunken old man that died?” Yuta was first one to jump to conclusion as the others slowly nodded their head in unison. This is far more amusing than I had expected it to be, and I couldn't help but laughed lightly about it.

 

“I said nothing about that person being neither a man nor dead. It is purely speculation that everyone was having,” I managed to get my laughing under control. “Oh, you sly devil you. Now tell us clearly,” Ken chuckled tugging on my sleeve. “Well, I met her at a bar. She asked me to dance, and she's a good dancer even though she's a bit intoxicated. We met again when she saved me from being robbed, and I help cleaned her wound up. Last time was her in the emergency room, her skin was loose from some kind of accident and I stitched it up for her.” I said deciding to leave the detail of where we slept together out. “How old is this person?” father asked choosing his words carefully as usual. “She's twenty,” I replied remembering the information from the clipboard I read only a little over a month ago. “So she dyed her hair white to be rebellious or something?” Akira asked. “No, it's her natural hair color. I'm guessing it's a rare disorder passing from generation to generation.” I smiled at him.

 

They asked a lot of questions, but the topic about my silver hair beauty never come up again and I was glad that it didn't. I even got to know my sister-in-law: Sakaki, is a veterinarian and my soon to-be sister-in-law is a nurse: Rei. Father told me to get some rest because starting next week, I will be working at the hospital full time as a neurosurgeon, and Ken was grinning from ear to ear because he can't wait to have me there with him days in and days out. I suddenly felt like my impending doom is coming when I come home.

 

I missed her, but working as a neurosurgeon really has its reward. Soon I was too busy to have anytime to myself to think about my silver hair beauty, but it doesn't mean that I don't think about her at all. I still do, just not as often as I used to. Sometimes I would see her in my dream, she come to visit me and we took a long walk around the hospital talking about nothing at all. I was happy just seeing her, and in my dreams she was genuinely happy and smiled the whole time talking to me. Other times in my dreams, she was domineering and angry as she tore my clothes off and violated me. All I could say was that she haunted my dreams, some were pleasant as others weren't so pleasant but pleasurable nonetheless.

 

Though sometimes I have to wonder, I wondered if she ever thought of me after she left the hospital. I wondered if she ever think of me like the way I think about her, maybe she find someone else or she's in bed with another woman whispering the same words she said to me the night I lay naked under her gaze. My silver hair beauty, how I wanted to taste those lips of hers and to feel her body on top of me holding me tightly as we fall into a dreamless night of sleep. If there is one thing I want in life, is that to be spending the rest of my life living in peaceful bliss with my silver hair beauty: Taylor Ito.