Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ [GLEAM] Santiin ❯ Santiin has a Bad Dream ( Chapter 1 )

“Okasan…mama. Mama! Mama.”

My eyes snap open at the sound of his voice. I lift my head from my pillow to see him standing next to my bed. I don't have my glasses on, but I don't have to look at him to know that he's crying.

“Santiin, honey, what is it?” I ask him, stifling a yawn. I quickly glance at Kishiro. He is obviously irritated that Santiin woke us up. He tries to ignore him and pulls the arm that is around my waist tighter, his eyes squeezed shut irritably.

“Akumu… Mama, mama!” I take Kishiro's arm off me and sit up.

“Akumu? A nightmare?” I can see his blurry form shaking with fear. He nods twice, trembling all the while.

“Oh. Kimas, Honey.” Santiin obeys and comes rushes into my arms. I hug him back. He is still trembling, but gets calmer when I stroke his platinum blonde hair gently. Kishiro sighs and moves over. Santiin climbs onto the bed and I pull the covers over his small form. He returns to clamping himself to me as soon as he is settled in. I wipe away his tears and he looks up into my eyes.

“What happened in your akumu, Santiin?”

“Ashi otoko no kito…” He shivers.

“An… evil man?” He nods again. And bursts into tears.

“Santiin, honey, your safe. Anzen na. It didn't happen. Okei des…” I touch his forehead briefly, gather him in a hug and hum softy a lullaby about a baby owl in a forest.

A few minutes later and Santiin is sleeping soundly. I look at his pale face and messy white-blonde hair that comes down to a little past his ears. I finger it. It is the exact same colour as his father's. His eyes are shut, too, but I know that if I could see his pale blue irises, I would note how their hue matched his fathers'.

But he is not his father. No.

I wish with all my heart he was Kishiro's son. I do. But instead, he is…

Tidian's.

I pull Santiin closer.

He was a product of rape. I did not plan him or want him, until he was born.

And I didn't want Tidian. No, I didn't…

I remember the exact temperature of that cold marble floor and the texture of Tidian's palms strangling my wrists.

And god, I will always remember the look in Tidian's eyes as he said, “Sera…You will… have my child.”

I quickly block out the rest of the events that happened that night from my mind.

Kishiro had obviously wanted me to get an abortion. But it would probably kill me, since Tidian was an 4g3|\/+, and as I learned from Timothy and Eichu's birth, the babies are very, very strong.

So that pregnancy was one of the worst points in my life.

But then I held him for the first time, almost dead from giving birth, and knew that he was different. He wasn't Tidian at all. He might have looked like him, but he was not the monster who… raped me.

Santiin is not a monster and I love him exactly like I love Kishiro and my children.

But Kishiro is another story. He still doesn't think that Santiin isn't Tidian, no matter what I tell him. That is the weakest part of our relationship- Santiin.

Oh, I'm thinking to much again.

I clear my head of these thoughts and close my eyes, still holding Santiin close. Kishiro come up from behind me and gently wraps himself behind me, although he is still irritated that Santiin is here.

Shizukani, Sera! Go to sleep…