Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ An Angel's Remains ❯ Chapter 6

The number of students standing inside of Ivory Hall surprised Myara. There had to be at least forty students with bags and the only one who she recognized immediately was Blake, since a couple of girls were making a fuss over him. She did recognize some of the instructors, although some of the celestials there didn`t look much like instructors at all. They were dressed in the gear of protectors. She saw Dalziel on the far side of the room with Sabin and the biology instructor, Miss Carray. She was surprised that there would be a biology teacher there. She took her bag to the side of the room and laid it against the wall. She had tried not to pack too much in addition to the things that had been on the list.

 

She had decided to wear jeans and a long sleeved shirt and warm jacket for the first day. Her double blades were in sheaths at each of her hips. She wasn't the only one wearing a weapon though. It looked like the other students were all wearing theirs and several of the instructors as well, including Dalziel and Sabin. Myara recognized Sabin's sword immediately, even sheathed. She supposed he'd want to use the weapon he was most comfortable with. She hugged her jacket around her. The entrance to Ivory Hall was rather chill, what with the doors opening and closing to let people in. She wondered what she should be doing at the moment. Dalziel hadn't really said what to do besides just showing up. She leaned against the wall and waited. She was rewarded a minute later.

 

Dalziel joined her, giving her a friendly smile.

 

She had been watching the other students so she was a little bit surprised when she realized he'd crossed the room without her noticing.

 

He told her, “You'll be in my group. I'd like you to stay close to me or Sabin most of the time, since you don't have as much training as the other students in invocations, even if you are a better fighter. We`ll have a protector too, so it should be safe enough.”

 

Myara nodded. “Sure.” She wasn't too bothered by the idea that she didn't know as many invocations as the other students. She knew that the ones that she knew, she knew well enough to keep herself safe if she needed to.

 

Dalziel said, “Good. I'm glad you understand. They'll want us to get our groups together soon and then once we have everyone we'll get going.”

 

Myara asked him, “Should I put my stuff by yours now then?”

 

“Yeah, sure. We have our gear over there.” He pointed to where the others were standing.

 

Myara picked up her bag and threw it over her shoulder. She hadn't brought much that would weigh her down except for her sleeping gear and her clothes. She followed Dalziel back to where Sabin and Miss Carray were standing and put her gear down by them.

 

Miss Carray gave Myara a smile as she joined them. “You must be in our group then?” she asked.

 

Myara nodded. “Yeah. I didn't realize you'd be coming too Miss Carray.”

 

She told Myara, “I'm the healer for this group, in case anyone needs attention. While we're out there, please, call me Lilac.”

 

Myara had to wonder where they were going that they were so sure they'd be running into demons.

 

Sabin told Myara, “Since I seem to have recommended you for this trip, try not to embarrass me.”

 

Myara gave him a dirty look, even though she got the impression he was only half seriously. “You are seriously underestimating me,” she told him.

 

He shrugged. “I'm just saying. Didn't you just have what, your first test for your trainee ranking a couple of days ago?”

 

Myara noticed that Miss Carray, Lilac, seemed to find their conversation interesting and told him, wondering why she always responded to his teasing. “I can at least do a rain of light if I need to. I wouldn't say that's too bad, would you?”

 

Sabin looked really amused. “Rain of light? I guess that's not bad for a trainee.”

 

Dalziel interrupted, sounding slightly amused himself. “I think that's enough of that you two. It's about time to start getting our team together.”

 

Lilac reached into her pocket and pulled out a list. She looked over it and read out the names. Myara recognized Rick and Jordan's names and hoped they were the same Rick and Jordan she knew. She couldn't be sure of the last names, so they could be students with the same first name.

 

Dalziel said, “I think I can get together most of them. I'll be right back.”

 

Some of the other instructors were beginning to simply call out names but there was a lot of noise in the front hall.

 

Myara asked Sabin and Miss Carray, “Are we going to be separated from the other groups for most of the time?”

 

Sabin shrugged and looked uninterested in answering.

 

Lilac told Myara, “We'll start from the same spot and then everyone will go out the second day and camp away from each other. We'll stay there for the duration of the trip and then meet back up where we started with everyone else.”

 

“Oh, I see.” Myara replied. She looked up as one of the protectors left the small knot they'd been standing in and came to join them.

 

He glanced at Myara briefly and seemed to dismiss her as unimportant.

 

She tried not to be too bothered, refraining from glaring at him.

 

He told the others in celestial. “I'm Fae. I'll be working with you for this training exercise of yours. Are there any special instructions I should follow?”

 

Sabin told him, not looking at Myara, “Try to keep an eye on this student, she doesn't have as much experience as the others.”

 

Myara wanted to kick him in the leg but instead she settled for a dirty look and telling him, “It's rude to talk about me in celestial.”

 

Sabin looked over at her, giving her that amused, almost condescending look. “What would make you think I'm talking about you?”

 

Myara told him, “Because I'm not an idiot. Didn't I tell you earlier not to underestimate me?”

 

Sabin actually chuckled. “I remember. You also said your number one technique was rain of light didn't you?”

 

Myara glared at him. He was making fun of her. She asked him, “If I'm so inferior, then how come it takes you a full twenty minutes to beat me?”

 

He crossed his arms over his chest. “I was taking it easy on you.”

 

Myara thought he was being slightly less than honest and said, “You'd better back that up when we get back from this trip.” They looked up as Dalziel joined them with another student.

 

“The two of you are at it again?” he asked.

 

Lilac commented, “They sound like siblings.”

 

The protector was watching their exchange curiously but he didn't say anything to Myara or Sabin. He asked Lilac, “What was that about?”

 

Lilac replied, “They were just plucking each other's feathers a bit.” The protector looked at Sabin. Again, he ignored Myara.

 

She supposed it was because he didn't think she could understand. Perhaps he didn't understand the human language either though. She had no idea if it was normal for celestials to know a human language.

 

“Are you good friends?” Fae asked Sabin curiously.

 

Sabin shrugged and told him, “She thinks she's going to beat me some day.”

 

Myara decided it was time to ignore what they were saying in celestial, since she didn't want to join in the conversation and raise questions about how she'd gotten so good at it.

 

The student who had joined them with Dalziel was another girl, the only other girl besides Myara and Lilac in the group.

 

Myara introduced herself. “I'm Myara.” She offered her hand to the other girl.

 

 

The newest member of their group took Myara's hand with a smile. “Ylona. Nice to meet you.”

 

“You too,” Myara replied sincerely.

 

Ylona sat her bag down by Myara's and asked, “Do you know who else is in our group?”

 

Myara told her, “I think I might know Rick and Jordan, if they're the people I'm thinking of. We're the only girls though.”

 

Ylona looked disappointed. “Really? That's too bad. I was hoping they'd put most of the girls in one group. There aren't all that many of us at this level.”

 

Myara was a little surprised to hear that. “I would think the numbers would be more even.”

 

Ylona leaned back against the wall and said, “I thought I knew all the girls in trainee rankings. Are you from another school or something?”

 

Myara told her, “Uh, no, I'm not. I trained with the Temple of Skye for a while though so I'm a bit ahead of the other students who started this year.”

 

Ylona said, “Oh, okay. So you haven't gotten a ranking yet. You must be pretty good if they're bringing you along.”

 

Myara asked, changing the subject from herself, “Have you done this before?”

 

Ylona told her, “Just once. It was sort of fun but creepy at the same time. And really exhausting. Last time we ran into a pack of cerberons.”

 

Ylona said the word and it triggered a series of memories that flashed through the top of Myara's thoughts. “Cerberons… shadow dogs. They breath fire, travel in packs, extremely territorial. That's right isn't it?”

 

Lilac joined their conversation. “That is right Myara. I'm surprised you know about them.”

 

Myara told her, “I try to stay well informed about these things.” She thought about it a little more though and realized that there was one thing that was weird about Ylona running into cerberons, and that was that the only place they existed… She looked at Ylona and asked. “Ylona, what kind of place was the training in last time?”

 

Ylona told her, “Well, we used a gate to get there, so I don't know where it was, but it was well, creepy. There weren't that many trees and those that we did see were black. The ground was this washed out color and it was really rocky.”

 

Lilac commented, “We may or may not go the same place you went last time. Just remember to pay attention while we're there.”

 

Myara didn't comment. It sounded like the demon world to her. No wonder they sent protectors and healers. But it would be interesting to experience the demon world and see if it was like her dreams. She asked, “Are we going to go through a gate this time too?”

 

Lilac said, “I'd imagine we are. There's a gate here in Ivory Hall.”

 

Sabin rejoined their conversation and told Myara, “Better be prepared. It's not easy going through a gate for the first time.”

 

Myara sniffed. “I'm sure it won't kill me if you can do it.”

 

Another two students joined them with Dalziel and Ylona smile. “You guys are in our group too. That's great.”

 

Myara recognized Jenny's cousin Rick and his friend Jordan. “Rick, so you are with us?” She asked.

 

He looked surprised to see her but then smiled. “Yeah, who would've thought? Are you ready?”

 

Myara nodded. “Of course.” She told him with confidence.

 

Ylona asked. “You know each other?”

 

Rick looked in Ylona's direction and told her with a smile. “She and my cousin are best friends, so we hang out occasionally.”

 

Myara greeted Jordan. “It's good to see you're here too Jordan.”

 

Jordan just shrugged and then smiled. “Yeah. Good to see you.”

 

The last member of their group was a complete stranger to Myara. Rick did the honors of introducing him, motioning off-handedly. “This is my classmate Chad. Chad, this is Myara. You already know everyone else right?”

 

Chad nodded and told Myara, “It's nice to meet you.”

 

Since they were all gathered Dalziel drew their attention. “All right, pick up your gear everyone. We're going to be the first group to go through.” He said the same to their protector, who nodded.

 

Myara grabbed her stuff and walked with Miss Carray in the back of the group as they left the main hall. There were ten people in their group all together. Myara supposed that it was a good enough number. It made one instructor for every two students plus a protector. Although, retrievers usually only traveled in pairs or trios. Their protector went first, with Sabin. Then Dalziel went with the next two students. The other two boys went after that.

 

A moment later, Myara stepped onto the glowing circle with Ylona and Miss Lilac. She had the sensation of being pulled down into a deep hole and clasped her arms against her chest. She forced herself to keep her legs relaxed and closed her eyes. Her powers acted to protect her from the pull, surrounding her with an aura of personal power. She felt her feet touch the ground and released the power abruptly as she stopped moving through the gate. The light beneath them went out and she saw Ylona drop to her knees rather abruptly.

 

Lilac went to Ylona's side immediately and helped her stand and get off the gate before it was used again.

 

Myara stepped down off the stone circle by herself.

 

Dalziel came to her side and asked, “Are you all right?”

 

Myara gave him a smile. “Yeah. Like I've done it a hundred times.” She noticed that all of the other students were sitting around the gate with green faces but then her attention was drawn to the landscape as she looked around. She dropped her pack by the others and went to stare out at the view. The gate they were at was one she didn't think Sabriel had ever visited, but what she saw matched what she would have expected. It really was exactly the way she remembered it. She stripped off her jacket. It was midday here and the orangey sun cast an incredibly warm light.

 

Dalziel and Sabin were seeing to the other students with Lilac.

 

Myara crouched next to one of the small black plants by the edge. At least it looked like a plant. It was a deceptive little beast. She'd drawn pictures of it a couple of times.

 

The protector, Fae, came up beside her and put a hand on her shoulder.

 

Myara looked up, wondering what he wanted from her.

 

He shook his head and said in celestial, his hand on his sword, “Don't touch it.”

 

Myara got to her feet and nodded to him. She told him in English, “I understand.” Although she doubted he thought she meant it the way she did, if he understood even that much English. She turned and called to Dalziel, “Hey Dalziel, are we supposed to leave the demons alone unless they attack first.”

 

Dalziel got to his feet after giving some water and a pill to one of the students. “What do you mean?” he asked.

 

Myara pointed to the plant. “Like that kind.”

 

He came to stand beside her and looked over the plant. “Yeah, I wouldn't touch any of the plants at all if you can help it. Everything in this place has a demonic aura and could probably be considered poisonous.”

 

Myara hadn't meant exactly that but it answered her question. “All right, just wondering,” she told him with a smile.

 

He said, “Well, if that's it, I'd better see to the others. Are you sure you don't want to take one of these? It will help.” He told her, offering her one of the pills.

 

Myara glanced at the pill and told him, “No thanks. I feel fine and I'm not just saying that to reassure you. I mean it.”

 

Dalziel said, “I just wanted to make sure you weren't trying to impress Sabin. I noticed the two of you arguing about it earlier.”

 

Myara smiled and told Dalziel, somewhat amused, “You know we don't mean it. I know that Sabin is a very kind-hearted person. He'd feel bad if I let myself be sick on his account.”

 

Dalziel glanced back at the others. “I suppose you're right. I just want you to be careful. Your health is very important while we're here. A lot of the things here can make you unwell.”

 

Myara told him, “I understand. I'll be very careful.”

 

He looked somewhat reassured so he nodded and went back to the others.

 

Myara continued to look around while the protector kept an eye on her. She wondered if he would have preferred her to be sick like the others, so he wouldn't have to worry about her. Myara looked up as the next group came through. The instructors were handling the next group as well. A few looked less sick than others. Myara felt bad for them. She was lucky to have Sabriel's experience and her power, otherwise, she would have been the same. Maybe she shouldn't make the differences so obvious by wandering around while everyone was feeling ill. She went back to where she'd left her bag and took a seat next to Ylona. Ylona looked a lot better now. Jordan seemed to be all the way recovered.

 

He glanced up at Myara and asked, “How can you not be affected by that? It's like being pulled in a dozen different directions in the time it takes to blink.”

 

Myara was a little bit surprised by his explanation of it. She hadn't thought it so bad. “It's sort of hard to explain but if you do it often enough, you'll probably figure out how to shield yourself from it.”

 

Rick asked, “Is that how you learned to do it?”

 

Myara wasn't sure how to reply to that. She supposed it was Sabriel's upbringing in the celestial world that made it hard to lie. She said, “I learn things a little differently from others. I can't really explain without making things more confusing. I guess you could say I have an unfair advantage.”

 

Ylona said, “Well you're really lucky. I hate going through gates. I can't imagine doing it often enough to get used to it.”

 

“You'd probably be surprised what you could get used to,” Myara told her.

 

It took some time for all of the students and their instructors to go through the gate and even at that point, they still had to wait a while for the students to recover who'd come through last. The protectors, seven of them total, spread out around the gate area while they waited there. Myara noticed Dalziel and Sabin joining the protector who was with their group, talking softly in celestial. Lilac was helping another group's students who were still unwell.

 

Rick asked, “What do you suppose they're talking about?”

 

Jordan glanced over at the instructors. “Looks like they're worried about something already.” He commented.

 

Myara silently agreed. It did look that way.

 

Rick commented, “I freakin hope not. I'd like to have a little bit more time to relax before we have to fight with anything.”

 

Chad glanced over nervously. “They'll cover for us if we mess up right?”

 

Rick told him, “Don't worry, they won't let anything happen to us if they can help it. They're really good about that. I'm sure this is more stressful for them than it is for us.”

 

Myara asked, “So they'll just let us fight anything that attacks until we can't handle it?”

 

“That what it seemed like before. I assume they'll do that this time too.” Ylona told her.

 

Myara got to her feet. “Well, I'm kind of interested to see if something's coming? Anyone else?”

 

Jordan got to his feet. “I am.”

 

Ylona shook her head. “No thanks, I'd rather relax while I can.”

 

Chad looked uncomfortable as he said, “I'm fine here.”

 

Rick wasn't uncomfortable about saying no at all. “I'll let the big shots handle things for now. There are enough of them here that I doubt I'll be needed

 

The instructors looked up as the students joined them and Jordan asked them. “Does it look like something's coming?”

 

Dalziel said, “Maybe. Are you guys ready if it is?”

 

Jordon nodded. “As ready as I can be.” He crossed his arms over his chest.

 

Myara said, “I'm ready.” She was more than ready. She really wanted to see if it was the way she remembered. Of course, anything they met up with out here probably wouldn't be on the level she remembered dealing with the most. That might be better for now though. She didn't know if her strength was even remotely close to Sabriel's. It was true she could keep up to Sabin in a fight for a short time, but that wasn't with getting invocations and that sort of thing involved.

 

Sabin told her, completely serious for once, “Don't be too eager. You haven't even seen what you'll be up against yet.”

 

Myara didn't bother to respond, she just gave him a look that said she knew what she was talking about.

 

Sabin sighed. “Well, I'll be right behind you if you choke.”

 

Jordan asked, “Are there many?”

 

Myara looked out in the direction that the protector was looking. She should be able to feel them, if she tried. She supposed that all the students and celestials gathered might make that more difficult. She crouched down and closed her eyes.

 

Dalziel told them, “I don't know. It could be several small presences, or one large one.”

 

She hadn't tried feeling for demons or even celestials any further than her immediate presence since she'd begun learning about celestial power and even about her own memories. Myara forced herself to relax and took several deep breaths.

 

Sabin came to stand behind her before anything else. He asked, “Are you nervous?”

 

Myara told him, “No, I'm just concentrating. I want to see if I can feel it.”

 

Sabin said, “Good luck trying.”

 

Myara ignored him, he was ruining her focus. She rested her arms on her legs as she couched down, bowing her head. She sent her senses out slowly. She could faintly feel the students, and she could feel the celestials clearly. That didn't really count for much though, since she already knew they were there. She sent her focus out in the opposite direction, the direction that everyone was looking in. She could feel some little presences of demonic auras nearby, those were easy. There were more as she went further out. She wondered if she was actually going to find what she was looking for and then she felt it. Compared to the other presences she'd felt, it was way bigger. She focused her attention on it and if she'd had to say, she'd think it was something big. Big and territorial. If only she could remember what that feeling meant. She opened her eyes and looked out in that direction. She couldn't see it though. She got to her feet.

 

Sabin asked, teasing, “Did you give up?”

 

Myara crossed her arms over her chest. “Of course not. I can already feel it. If I can guess what it is correctly, will you go on a date with me?”

 

Sabin laughed. “I don't think that's possible. But sure, if you guess what it is I'll set aside the student-teacher boundaries and take you on a date. I didn't realize that you had a crush on me though.”

 

Myara glanced back at him. “Don't take it like that. It's your punishment for underestimating me,” she told him.

 

Dalziel told them, “Don't get too carried away you two.” She drew her two twin blades and kneeled again, closing her eyes. A date with Sabin. That was worth trying harder to remember. She found what she was looking for faster than before. It was moving quite quickly. Big… territorial. It seemed to realize that she was sensing it. She felt something like an unfriendly greeting that caused her to loose her balance, since she wasn't prepared for it and she fell forward onto her hands. But she seemed to remember that feeling from somewhere. She caught her balance and raised her blades as she bowed her head and thought. Finally she got to her feet.

 

Sabin asked, “Giving up again?”

 

She tilted her chin up and told him, pointing her sword in the direction she knew it was coming from. “It's a baslissa,” she told him.

 

Sabin looked amused. “Do you even know what that is?” he asked.

 

Myara glared at him. “Of course. They claim large territories which they move over quickly. They're very territorial but not very smart. Despite not being unintelligent, they can pierce the mind of their enemy and cause confusion and disorientation without even the necessity of looking into their eyes like their cousin the basilisk.”

 

Sabin raised a brow. “You actually sound like you know what you're talking about.”

 

Jordan asked, “Did you learn about them in the temple of wind? I`ve never heard of them before.”

 

Myara didn't want to give anyone ideas about the temple of wind, especially not the celestials. “I had a dream about them before and besides, it just knocked me over from all that ways away, nothing else can do that.”

 

Sabin commented, “Doesn't that mean you left yourself wide open for attack while you were searching. You talk big but really, you're quite the amateur.”

 

Myara glared at him.

 

Rick chuckled and asked, “Instructor Sabin, does that mean there's a chance she's actually right?”

 

Dalziel commented, motioning in the distance. “She is right. Sabin, you should be more careful what kind of bets you make with your students.”

 

Myara looked at him, he looked neither amused nor disapproving. At least that was a relief.

 

Jordan commented, “Good job. I think you'll be the first student to ever manage to get a teacher to go on a date.”

 

Sabin sighed. “I guess it can't be helped. I did say I'd do it if you were right. So, do you guys feel up to destroying it or did your ride through the gate wear you out too much.”

 

Myara realized that she was feeling a little anxious about facing it, despite all her joking around with Sabin. This was where she found out if she could really face them the way Sabriel had. She'd get to see if it was like the dream. She sheathed her swords and was surprised to see Blake standing beside her. She hadn't even realized he was there.

 

“I'll take care of this one.” He glanced at Myara. “I wouldn't want any cocky amateurs trying it.”

 

She could only stare for a minute, realizing he meant her. She glared at his back as he moved down the slope. The protector who'd joined their group followed him. Blake glanced back and commented to him, “There's really no need. But if you insist.”

 

Myara supposed it wasn't worth arguing. She could get a close up look at her first demon. She crossed her arms over her chest and watched.

 

Sabin commented softly to her, “I can't believe there's someone even more conceited than you.”

 

Myara gave him a cold look and told him, “I'm not conceited.” There were quite a few students coming to look now. Perhaps some of them it was their first time coming here, like it technically was hers. The demon didn't take long to show itself. It had a truly ugly colored hide of rough scales. Some of them were broken and chipped and Myara thought she could smell it from where she stood. Looking at it, she felt like she was in a dream. She glanced over at Sabin, she could almost see her memories overlaying reality. She could see his black wings extending outward from his back as he lifted Ashe, ready to do battle. But that wasn't him any more. He wasn't black-winged any more. She closed her eyes and blinked hard.

 

Dalziel asked, “Are you all right Myara?”

 

She looked over at him a little bit surprised as she cleared her head. “Huh?” she asked.

 

He asked again, “Are you all right?”

 

She managed to nod her head.

.

“You must be overwhelmed right? This is your first time seeing a demon?” Sabin asked.

 

Blake sealed the demon and disposed of it rather quickly.

 

Myara folded her hands behind her neck and sighed. “Not really. I was just seeing things that aren't there.”

 

“You tend to see interesting things sometimes, is it anything to be worried about?” Dalziel asked her.

 

Myara turned away and headed back toward the camp. She was a little surprised by her overlapping memories herself. She supposed she should say something so she paused and glanced at Dalziel, then Sabin. They were the two celestials among the group that she knew the best. She supposed that if she should really start losing herself to memories, she'd want to warn them ahead of time. “Don't be surprised if I act a little weird. I can't explain why, but being here makes me feel like someone else. It's an uncomfortable feeling.” She lowered her arms to her sides and walked back towards her bags. She realized she'd been speaking in celestial and could only think the overlapping of Sabriel's memories was to blame. She really was losing it. She rubbed her forehead.

 

***

 

Night came early and everyone sort of settled down around the camp. Myara was sharing a tent with Lilac and Ylona while the guys were three to each tent. The other groups split up similarly into their tents. They didn't have any big fires, since it might have attracted a bit too much attention from so high up. Everyone in their group gathered around Dalziel while he told them about the sorts of demons they might expect to find in the area and the sort of dangers they should look for in the terrain.

 

Myara slept badly the first night. She finally woke after having a dream about Sabriel's death and got up before everyone else, rolling up her sleeping bag and changing into jeans again. She went to the ledge that overlooked the area below them and tried to clear her head but it was difficult when, even in the dark she could see that they were obviously in the demon world. The moon was a reddish color that cast everything in a strange light. The instructors had explained it as the demons' influence to the students. In a way it was true, but it was also a complete lie. It was because it was their world. She laid back and closed her eyes, trying to pretend she was somewhere else. Someone approached her from behind.

 

“That's not a very good place to sleep,” Sabin commented.

 

Myara told him, “I'm not sleeping. I can't sleep in this place. You couldn't sleep either?”

 

He sat down beside her. “I'm on guard duty at the moment.”

“Shouldn't you be patrolling or something then?” she asked.

 

He told her, “No, I'll know if something dangerous is coming. It's not necessary. I just need to stay awake.”

 

Myara opened her eyes. The two of them were alone. It was the first time they'd ever been alone. She glanced back toward the tents. It didn't seem like anyone else was awake.

 

Sabin asked her softly, “Do you remember what you said to me after that first sparring match we had?”

 

Myara nodded faintly. “Of course. Why, do you want me to explain myself?”

 

He leaned closer. “Isn't that to be expected? Why did you say that?”

 

Myara sighed. “I don't know if I should tell you or not. I was a bit confused at the time, even more than I am now. But even though I know more now than before, I still don't know how to deal with the situation.”

 

He told her, “You're making me a little confused now too. I don't understand what you're talking about.”

 

Myara sat up and rubbed her hands over her face before finally deciding to tell him what she was thinking about. She leaned toward him and told him in celestial. “I have all the memories of Sabriel Alaranth, even the ones about you. I even know what it felt like when she died in your arms. But just because I have all her memories, that doesn't necessarily mean that I am her. I can`t decide if I really like you, or if I`m just remembering how much she liked you. Whether you believe this is up to you. Sometimes I think I`m her, and I want to be close to you again, that`s why I said that, so that you`d stay.” She laid back down and closed her eyes, not wanting to his face.

 

After a moment of stunned silence from Sabin he finally said, his voice cold, “It would be extremely cruel, if what you say is a lie. Do you realize that?”

 

Myara nodded. “Of course. That's why I didn't try to tell you before. But this place really gets to me. When I sleep, I remember what it feels like to die, when I'm awake, I keep forgetting that you're not a black-winged angel any more, and I forget that I'm not Sabriel.”

 

He laid down on his back beside her, staring at the sky and demanded. “So let's pretend you really do remember everything she remembers. Tell me something that only she would know.”

 

Myara glanced over at him. “Isn't it just going to hurt you to be reminded of her? I should warn you also, that while I often remember things as a result of my environment, I don't remember everything she remembered clearly. It's been a hundred years since she died after all.”

 

Sabin told her, “Just say something that only she would remember.” Myara sighed and closed her eyes. She started to sing softly in celestial, the same song she remembered him singing to her.

 

He stopped her after the first couple of lines. “That's enough. I believe you. No one else would know that.” His voice sounded strained.

 

Myara was silent, hoping she hadn't just done something cruel.

 

Finally he asked, “Did you come to the human world for some purpose?”

 

Myara told him, “I wouldn't know. Until recently, I always thought I was just a normal person.”

 

Sabin fell silent again.

 

Myara opened her eyes to look at his face, wondering what kind of expression he wore. She wanted to know what he was thinking.

 

He was studying her in the red light from the moon. “You look nothing like her,” he commented softly, his voice filled with disappointment.

 

Myara nodded. “I know.”

 

He sat up and brushed his hair back, glancing at her thoughtfully. “But you must have her memories for a reason.”

 

Myara asked him, “Do you think that she might have done this in order to come back to you? She loved you more than anything else in the world. That's why I can't decide if I'm really her, or if I'm someone else. Perhaps if I'd just been born knowing, or if I`d just remembered everything all at once, it would make it easier to tell, but I don't think that would be possible. I don't think a person's mind can handle that much.”

 

Sabin pulled his knees up and rested his hands on them. “If you really are her, I'm willing to wait until your mind clears to find out.”

 

Myara told him, feeling a little depressed by his words, “Even if I'm not her, I still have the same feelings. If I fell in love with you, it would be difficult for me to tell you the truth. Even if I ever was her, I don't want you to look at me and see just the past. I'm Myara, I'm not called Sabriel. Can you accept something like that? Not to mention that I'm a human. Although I've been told I may live for nearly as long as a celestial because of all the power I've inherited.”

 

Sabin laid back again with a grumpy sigh. “You sure sound like her right now.”

 

She told him, feeling a little sulky, “It's because of this place. Sabriel would know a lot more about this place than I would.”

 

“So that's what you meant earlier, when you said being here makes you feel like someone else.”

 

His statement was more like a question so Myara nodded. “I'm sorry, if knowing that I have her memories is going to make you suffer.”

 

“I'm no lonelier than I was before, it just makes me remember. It's painful coming to this place. Coming here… makes me remember the things I've done in the past.”

 

Myara could vaguely recall some of the things he'd done from her dreams. “It's good for you to remember those things that way. It means you won't ever go back. I think her soul would never rest in peace if she thought you'd returned.”

 

He managed a weary smile. “That's an interesting way of putting it.”