Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ Crack Syndrome ❯ Session 1: Limes and Lemons ( Chapter 1 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

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Miscellaneous: Original Stories Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / Adventure / Action | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 03.18.2007 | Pages: 20 | Words: 12.2K | Visits: 212 | Status: Work In Progress

Crack Syndrome

Session 1 limes and lemons

Jim is just laying there asleep…… with his head in a toilet. He lies prone, kneeled over, as if he's dead. All of a sudden, the toilet flushes Jim and pulls his body in as if he was made of paper. As he travels through a set of pipes he finds himself in a distorted version of his house.

Jim- Ow!!!! Damn… what a trip! Where the hell am I? This place kinda looks…looks like my house!!!!!! I better check it out

As Jim looks around, he notices a pink door with the Words PARENTS ROOM carved into it in a very sloppy manner.

Jim- What the hell is this? Is this supposed to be my parent's room? My fucking parents are freaks! Since when did they have a pink door?

Jim opens the door.

Jim- Mom dad when… what the hell?!!!!!!!

Jim falls back after looking inside. He sees his parents wearing a set of dog ears on their heads… licking a pair of giant feet. His jaw drops after seeing this

Jim-(okay….that's weird)

Strongly confused, Jim walks across their room to a door leading to the hallway.

Jim- that wasn't there before!!! What the hell is going on?!!

As Jim walks, the hallway floor begins to fall under him.

Jim- huh? Oh shit!!! Aaaah!!

Jim falls, but at a split second, he starts falling upward and crashes into the ceiling.

Jim- ugh!!!!

After crashing through the ceiling. Jim finds himself in his room.

Jim- What the fuck…? I…I'm in my room.

As he looks around, he notices a toilet in the corner.

Jim- hmmm? How did this toilet get in here?

Jim walks up to the toilet and looks inside. He bends over to in and at that moment a face wrapped in bandages appears in the reflection. As Jim tries to back away a hand pops out and grabs his face then pulls his head in.

Jim- aaagh!!!! (Heavy breathing)

Jim wakes up and pulls his head out of the toilet. He just realizes that he was asleep.

Jim- Was that a dream...? wait...what time is it!??

Jim turns his head nervously at the clock

Jim- Oh shit!!!!! Shit!! Shit!! Shit!! Shit!! Shit!! I'm gonna be late for school!!! Damn it!! I haven't even bathed or eaten yet!! Damn it!!!

Jim fills the bath tub up with water and jumps in with his jeans and shoes on. He then starts pouring liquid soap all over his body and washes it off. After that he puts on a black shirt, grabs his backpack, and runs like hell to school.

Jim- okay!!!! If I run without stopping I won't be late!!

Jim runs through traffic and other people.

Drvier1- Hey watch it!!!

Civilian- Excuse me!!?

Jim-Outta my damn way!!!

Jim runs through the school door to his locker but is stopped by Mr. Sullivan, a teacher.

Mr. Sullivan- Where do you think you're going in wet clothes?

Jim- to class!! Where else!!?

Mr. Sullivan- Wait!! You're not going anywhere.

Jim- Look you're holding me up damn it!! I can make it to class today!!

Mr. Sullivan- That is not my fault.

The bell sings

Jim- Damn it!!! I'm late!!

Mr. Sullivan- Heh heh heh. I know here's your detention.

Jim- What!!! Wh...Wait… Your bastard!!! You held me up on purpose!!!

Mr. Sullivan- Oh so now you want to talk back, here another detention slip

Jim- (bastard)

Jim walks to his first period class but again is hassled by another teacher Mr. Walker

Mr. Walker- Well, well Mr. Mourner you're late.

Jim- back off!! It wasn't my fault. A teacher held me…..

Jim is cut off by the teacher.

Mr. Walker- that's not the point! Don't lie! Here it's a 30 minute detention slip.

Jim- what!! What's your deal man? I didn't do anything.

Mr. walker- take your seat.

Jim walks to his seat. Some of the students laugh silently at him The others gossip.

Student1- nice one dumbass

Student2- idiot

Student3- if it wasn't for you we all would die of boredom. Good job ass!! hahaha!!

Jim- Shut the fuck up!! You dirty piece of shit follower. Crawl back to your master like the bitch you are.

Student3- big words for a pussy

Jim- at least I don't kiss ass like you and the rest of these asses do. Just fuck off, your mother can help you with that

Some of the students glare at him in disgust. Jim takes his seat and pays no mind to anything. He just falls asleep. About 45 minutes after class he feels several people poking him with pencils as if he was dead.

Student4- well he ain't moving much.

Student5- Ah shit maybe he did good and died.

Student6- Na man. Yo dis boy can't do shit right. He probably can't die right either

Student2- hahahahaha!!! Yeah you right. So lets…

Jim gets up.

Jim- Do what?

Student6- yo man whats it to you?!!

Student4- yeah just go off.

Jim walks off to lunch paying no mind to them.

Jim- this place makes me sick.

The students that stood behind get angry.

Student5- man I hate him

Student4- hey I got an Idea.

One of them makes a call

Student4- Yeah hello? Hey guys yo meet us at the lunch table. Usual spot, oh and bring Mika with you

Jim sits down alone as usual at a table, listening to some music. A group of at least 15 students gather at another table plotting against him

Student- just look at him he's a sad filthy fuck

Student2- He's a waste of space. I bet his parents hate him too.

Student5- we should just get rid of him

Student- how?

Student7- anyone got any ideas

One of the girls at the table decides to speak. Her name is Mika.

Mika- I got an idea

Student6- well then what is it.

Mika- Simple. We'll drug him. When he becomes addicted he'll come running back to me for more. Then I'll turn him into my slave.

Student12- Heh. Leave it to Mika to come up with a plan. It's like you're some kind of genius

Student9- only one problem how and where are we gonna get the drugs

Mika- Idiot!! Hmph. I'm not a genius just because of my grades, I think ahead of time.

Mika pulls out a bag full of pills.

Mika- this stuff is really strong. It'll get anyone addicted.

Student1- What are those? Other than pills

Mika- they're pills, what else?

She takes one and opens it. Powder comes out.

Mika- Each pill has both some crack and acid in them. One of these will give you a trip that you'll be feeling for a week.

Student- Damn, you thought of everything. Now all that's left is to make him take it.

Mika- Leave it to me

Mika walks up to Jim with a pill in her hand. She then sits next to him.

Mika- Hi Jim!!!!!

Jim- What are you doing here!?

Mika slaps Jim across the face to make him drop his guard. Before Jim could notice Mika puts the pill in her mouth.

Jim- Oww!!! What was that for!!!?

Mika grabs Jim's head and starts making out with him. Without him knowing, she Forces the pill down his throat.

Mika- That was a one time deal

Jim-…...

Mika- Well how was it?

Jim-………great……

Jim falls to the ground. A shot of blood spurts out of his nose and he faints temporarily. He lays there with a smile on his face.

Mika-… (heh, everything is going perfectly)

The students look at Mika with confusion.

Student2- aaaaaaaa……

Student- him!!?

Student3- yea um…what the hell were you thinking!!? aaagh!!

Student- Him!!!?

Student6- You've got his germs!!!

One of the student's head pop out of the crowd, his eyes white with shock

Student- Him!!!!?

Student4- hmph. You idiots. Don't you know anything? Sometimes you gotta sacrifice to get what you want. I know Mika better than you all, believe me I tried to cross her once when we dated, I know. She's been doing this since junior high. They used to all her heartbreaker.

Student3- So she's seduced other guys before? Well then we got nothing to worry about.

Student4- Exactly. She has no ties towards any man.

Student- Him…..(Goes into background and repeats it throughout the conversation)

Mika- Soon he's gonna be my slave

Student- him…him….him!!!! no!!! no!! !no!!! no!!!!!! nooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

The student runs out of the school and gets hit by a truck. His body is destroyed leaving only a set of bloody limbs

Student4- That's about the 19th guy that I've seen commit suicide because of her. Soon it's gonna be 20.

After lunch, Jim resumes his normal class schedule.

Jim-good just 1 more class and I…

Jim begins to stumble a bit. His speech becomes slightly slurred. He shoves it off and continues. In his last period class, Jim has trouble sleeping or for the fact of the matter listening.

Teacher- and so claaaasssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!! Wiii!!! Aree!!! Beep bee beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep.

Jim- (aaagh!!! What the hell is that beeping sound!!!)

Jim tries to take notes and ignore it, but he imagines his pen squirming around in his hand and drops it.

Teacher- kaa kaa kaaa kaa kaa kaa kaa kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa………………… ;…………………

Jim tries to ignore everything going on around him. What seemed like an eternity of insanity ends as soon as the bell rings. Jim walks out with his coat and his backpack. After school he stumbles home. The drugs begin to make him feel light headed and giddy. Despite the good feeling of being kissed by Mika, he still wonders why she did what she did.

Jim- (it makes no sense) why? Why? Would she want to kiss me? Doing that can damage any girls rep in that asylum!! but, ah hell, so what? At least I got a kiss from a hot girl!!

Eventually the drugs begin to take a negative effect on Jim as he walks.

Jim- aaagh… (damn it!! its starting to bug me!!) aaagh!!

Pieces of Jim's head start to crack. Flowers and bullets start flying out

Jim- aagh!! Ah shit!!! My head!!!

Jim begins to hear things. He starts seeing a bunch of trees gossiping about him.

Jim- hey!!! Hey!!! Stop that!!! I can hear you damn it!!! Stop following me!!! Aagh!!

Jim starts holding his head in pain. His eyes twitch as he holds his head.

Jim- Shit!!!!...it…it's gonna burst!!!

All of a sudden a large piece of his head cracks like glass. A giant arm pops out.

Jim- aaaaaa!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ugh!!!

Jim falls to his knees and bends back.

Jim-ugh………………huh!!!?

As soon as he notices the arm on his head, it grabs his leg.

Jim- huh?!! No wait!!! Aaaaaaaaaagh!!!

The arm starts to pull Jim and drags him into his own head. The moment he falls in, a swarm of short people wearing Japanese fox mask run toward him with bats all repeating the same thing. “SOAP!!! SOAP!!! SOAP!!! SOAP!!!!”

Jim- huh? where am i!!? huh? Oh shit…… aaaaagh!!!!

Jim tries to run from them as they chase him. Without notice he runs off a cliff and floats into the sky.

“SOAP!!!! SOAP!!! SOAP!! SOAP!!!”

Jim- what the hell is going on!!!?

As Jim floats through the orange colored sky, he sees a figure with a giant oar.

??- Hi there

And with those words, the man smacks Jim with the oar and sends him flying through the city crashing through buildings.

Jim-ugh!!!!! Aaaaaaaaaaagh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ugh!!!

Jim lands, on a giant cactus. Before he can react, it grabs him and then eats him through a hole in its head. Jim gets up and finds himself in its stomach, its prickly plant like stomach.

Jim- hmm? Ow!! What is this!! A cactus!!? There's water in here.

Jim looks around and mysteriously finds a steel hatch with a ladder leading up. He climbs out of the cactus only to find the same man who hit him earlier with a bowl in his hands.

Jim-hey…hey you!!

The guy looks at Jim

??- Hey what are you doing here? I thought I told cactus no visitors. Oh well. Hey you want a bowl of panties?

Jim- what are you talking about and where am I? And who are you!!?

??- My real name is Rook. But….

Lights start flashing behind him; the sound of a Japanese flute and a Japanese banjo can be heard playing in the back ground as the long haired man in a red Hawaiian shirt, tight black jeans, and sandals starts to yell.

Jim- oh great what now? And…and damn it where is that coming from?

??- Silence!!! Some call me Rook, others call me panty eater, and to only myself…..My true name!!!!

The lights point at him

??- I am…Perverted sensei!!!!!........ Okay you can stop the music now

The music stops. Jim stumbles over and trips down the cactus.

Jim- Thats it!!!? all of that just for your name!!?

Perverted sensei- yes.

Jim- well then…um…answer me this. (SUPER ANGRY ANIME FACE) Where the hell am I!!!!!!!!!!!!

Perverted sensei- you're in…nirvana…NIRVANA,…. NIRVANA!!..... Damn it cactus!! Stop!! If I needed an echo I would have asked. Oh you. Here eat this.

Jim- Um thanks.

Perverted Sensei- no prob!!! (Its panty flavored but I'll tell him later)

Jim stares at the bowl of ramen and sees a pair of panties floating inside.

Jim- huh?!!!

Perverted sensei grabs his head and forces Jim to swallow.

Perverted Sensei- Eat it!!!! Yes!!!!

Jim swallows the entire bowl except for the panties.

Jim- (cough, cough, cough)

Perverted sensei- good huh?

Jim- (Cough, Cough) you!!!.....actually yeah. It was great!!!

Perverted Sensei- when you're ready to leave eat the panties. Now seriously speaking, you're wondering why that girl…ahem…gave you a little tongue bondage.

Jim- tongue bondage? Wait how do you know that?!! What are you!!? Who are you!!!?

Perverted Sensei- It's my personal phrase for making out, and I told you already who I am But that's not the point you idiot!!! She drugged you!!!!

Jim- huh!!!!!………

Perverted Sensei gives Jim a second bowl and Dips the same pair of panties inside

Perverted Sensei- But I'm gonna help you. First off eat the ramen but leave the panties inside.

Jim- Sure I love this stuff!!!!!! Aaaah.

Perverted Sensei- There now you've got the gift. You can't get addicted anymore to them.

Jim- what!!?...you serious?

Jim thinks of the possibilities while perverted sensei talks, ignoring him.

Perverted Sensei- Yeah I am. Now the point of that was to help with your revenge on Mika and her little bunnies. She was expecting you to come crawling back to her for more, but wait till tomorrow. She's gonna be in for it. By the way, despite you not being able addicted, you'll still get high. Jim!!! Listen!!

Jim - huh!!?

Perverted Sensei- Damn it!! No wonder you do so bad in school. Anyways, when you get high expect some weirdness. I can't say what will happen. It has different affects on people. So expect some stuff.

Jim- Well I guess it's time to go.

Jim reluctantly takes the panties.

Perverted Sensei- Wait. Before you eat them one more thing

Jim- what?

Perverted Sensei- Try panty flavored ramen again!!

Jim- Idiot.

Jim swallows the panties.

Jim- hey these are good too. Well I guess its goodbye.

Perverted Sensei- yeah…..for now heh heh heh heh heh. Cactus!!!!!

Jim- what?

The cactus starts to move. It grabs Jim

Jim- hey!!! What is this!!!!?

The cactus then smacks his body like a handball across to the other side that he came from.

Jim-Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Perverted Sensei- Don't forget what I said!!! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (if only I could tell him more oh well)

Cactus- He's just like his big brother isn't he?

Perverted Sensei- Yeah that's why he and his brother are close.

As Jim flies through the hole back into reality, he crashes into a few trees.

Jim- owww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Damn…… what a trip!!! Heh heh heh…aaagh…..

The next day Jim walks to school with a smirk on his face as he burst through the school door, he anxiously waits to meet Mika and her friends again. He takes notice to some of the students smirking. All he sees is their shadows as they're eyes glow with anticipation hoping for what they expect. Jim just Smirks and shrugs off the glares. As the day goes by, students seem to leave him be. By lunch Jim sees his target.

Jim-Great….*rolls eyes* there she is. Well its time to paint the rainbow in off colors.

Jim decides to play her little game by acting tired and stressed.

Jim-h…Hey!!! …..w…we…we need to talk.

Mika- Well, well, well, look who's back (this is gonna be good.)

The other students start laughing.

Mika- I know what you want. But you have to do me a favor first.

Jim gets on his knees.

Mika- Good boy!!! Now beg come on

Jim-……

Mika- I said beg!!

Jim- Please kiss me again…. please!!

Mika pulls out the bag off drugs. Jim smirks

Jim- (Bingo bitch!!!)

Mika- now all you gotta do is one more thing. Get naked and run through the school.

The students start laughing. Thinking that Jim will do it. Jim takes off his shirt and throws it at Mika. He then grabs the bag of pills.

Jim- Hell no!!! now how about I treat myself to all these pills!!!!!

Mika- Wha…? What's going on here!!!? Why are you resisting!!! Answer me!!!

Jim takes a handful of pills and ingests them all at once

Jim-hmmm. So this is what you used to drug me huh?

Mika-…….

Student-2 Mika what's going on here!!!? Why is he resisting?

Student12- That wasn't part of the plan!!!

Jim- Oh about your plan. I knew

Mika-…….

Jim- Well then, lets see what happens when I eat all of these pills!!!

Mika- Huh? No wait you can't!!!

Jim eats all of the pills.

Mika- Are you crazy!!!? You'll die!!

The pills begin to take a strong effect on Jim, but he still maintains control.

Jim- Me Crazy!!!? Ahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!! No you are!!!!!!!! you know something Mika? I really can't understand you. How can someone like you who is as much a lime as me, hang out with these fucking lemons!!!!!? Oh well I guess I don't give a fuck its your life if you want to live with the insane!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Student6- That's it you ass wipe!!! I had enough of you mouth!!! I'm gonna kick your ass!!!

Jim- huh!!!? Aaaagh!!!

Pieces of Jim's head crack. A sword handle pops out.

Studdent6- Huh?! What ever that does not gonna stop me!!

Jim pulls out the sword handle. A giant oar comes out. As the student runs towards him, Jim smacks him with the oar launching him across the lunchroom and into a wall. His body makes a dent as he falls over, knocked out

Student7- That's it!!

Student-12- we gonna kick yo ass!!

Student3- Die you fuck!!

A giant arm bursts out of Jim's head and grabs one of them.

Student12- Hey let go!!! No wait!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaagh!!!!

The arm hurls the student through the roof. Everyone in the lunchroom except Mika tries to attack Jim. His skin starts to crack.

Jim- Cactus!!!!!

A giant cactus pops out of Jim's body. All that's left of him are glass shards which reform. The giant cactus begins kicking students and punching the ground. Students fly out of the window. The rest of them run out of the school.

All Students- Aaaaaagh!!! Run!!! Run!!! Cactus!!!!! !!!! Run!!!!

The cactus shrinks and starts dancing on Jim's head.

Jim- So….. Say something

Mika- ….…

Jim-Well?

Mika-heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Jim- What's so funny?

Mika- all this time, just now I've been thinking about what you said, but I don't get it, you and I are limes but I hang out with lemons!!!? Hahahaha!!! What the hell are you saying!!?

Jim- wow!! And you're supposed to be smart. I'm saying that me and you are individuals, but you choose to hang out with idiot followers. A lime is someone sour with individuality and a lemon is someone bitter sour with fear of individuals cause they want to belong

Mika stares at Jim as if he has a point.

Mika- Hey where did this cactus come from? And hey wait a minute?!! Why are you still breathing!!! All those pills should have killed you!!

Jim laughs. Mika gets angry.

Mika- Answer me!!!

Jim-Only if you let me keep your panties.

Mika- What?!!

Jim- You want answers I want panties

Mika- For what?!!

Jim- for some ramen

Mika looks at Jim strangely as if it wasn't him

Mika- Fine!!

Mika- Now give me some answers on how you did this!!!?

Jim- Sure. Here's one. I reached nirvana. Now let me get you panties

Mika- No!!!

Jim- Don't make me take them!!

Mika- Try!!

Jim- Forget it then. Oh by the way, everyone here except me and you are gonna forget this they're just that stupid

Jim walks out.

Jim- I guess school is canceled huh? Heheheheh.

Mika just stares at him in disbelief. The next day the teacher is trying to introduce a new student.

Mr. Walker- Ladies and gentlemen. We have a new student….

???- Kuso!!!!!!(shit) I'm gonna be late!!!!!!

Mr. Walker- please give a warm welcome to….

The new student does a front roll into the classroom and knocks the teacher off his feet

Mr. Walker- uuufgh!!!!!

???- Sorry about that.

Jim- Shit I'm gonna be late!!!!

Jim burst through the door and almost crashes into the new student!!!

Jim- I'm here damn it!! So I'm not late!!! Huh?

The new student moves out of the way and Jim crashes into the teacher.

Mr. Walker- aaagh!!!! Ugh!!!

Jim- aagh!!! Hmm? Hey who are you?

End of session 1.

Next time!!!!! On crack syndrome!!!

Jim- Oh great a new student!!!!!! Another follower!!

???- I'm not a follower baka!!!!

Jim- hey!!!

It's time for you're introduction!!!! Enter Naoto Kimishima!!!!!!!!!! Next time session 2 rewrite. There will be bloodshed in at the hands of the Japanese student!!!! Yea!!!!

Disclaimer- Hey guess what I own these characters all of them so I wont be posting a disclaimer often!! Ha!!!!!!!!!!!