Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ Darkness ❯ Darkness ( Chapter 1 )

To You.

 

Darkness. An adjective improperly defined in every dictionary. A state of being in which children tremble and skin crawls uncomfortably over veins of creamy blue. The slinky cold feeling of the unknown wraps itself around the senses and creeps into pores. Taking over. Moving you to a place you don't wish to be in, yet bringing you far enough where you have to continue or else suffer the disturbance of uncertainty for the eternity you hold so close to your tangled heart.

 

I personally have no problem with darkness. The adrenaline that pumps into every corner of my body when I see nothing but luscious ebony smells and tastes like the unwritten I crave to fill with my own words. The unknown is exciting to me, and to those who stand besides me. What could be more wonderful than the chance for hope to thrive and grow from the fertile unknown we associate with darkness and shadow?

 

We have other senses we can use, yet most beings feel lost without their eyes. Eyes are a curse brought to us from the great downfall. The eyes of Adam and Eve opened, and they realized they were naked. They sought the need to cover themselves. To hide behind masks of material that we still find comfort in shielding ourselves with today. Who are we but what we wear? I've heard it many a time, but I always have a scathing answer that floats about my head in times of leisure like a bumble-bee, but yearns to attack when swatted. It stings my throat painfully, yet I hold it in. Far from me is the desire to purposely create conflict among those who have so little to go on as is. To attack the moral of someone who sees good only in the fine garments purchased with designer labels would be like smashing the freshly lain eggs of some poor feathery bird.

 

“Where are you Claudia?” A voice, soft yet strong came from my left. It brought a smile to my lips. The dark lets me focus on the beauty I miss when hearing my friends speak.

 

“A little to your right Macie.” I felt her move toward me. It was a strange sense. Something between feeling warmth coming toward you unexpectedly like a chilly breeze and feeling bubbles press themselves against you. Macie smelled spicy.

 

After her footsteps subsided it was so grossly silent I could practically hear her crisp blood running through her veins. I breathed in deep, wondering if I could discern the rusty taste like a snake. I couldn't, and I was agitated. I could smell her skin, and Lucy's, who was the next closest to me. Hers smelled of make-up and plastic beads which hung gleefully around her neck and jangled softly on occasion.

 

“I don't suppose we are going to find a light?” Kate asked, her voice shaking ever so slightly. I knew exactly whose voice I would hear next.

 

“You're such a baby Kate!”

 

“Shut up Lynn!” Kate snapped at her double. Twins that were as different as night and day but had that one similarity that we all shared. The desire to run around at night with your friends? Well, that was one of the things we enjoyed doing in groups anyway.

 

“Lynn, leave her alone.” Alex commanded before jumping on my back. I caught her easily, hooking my hands beneath her crooked knees and hoisting her to a more comfortable place. Peppermint filled my nose and I smiled.

 

“Alex, can I have one of your mints?” I asked. I heard the crinkle of the plastic and she pushed the mint against my lips. I purposely bit her finger when I opened my mouth to let her put the mint inside.

 

“Alright guys, while we all love the dark, with the exception of Kate, we can't play hide and seek in total darkness. Claudia, where do we go? This is your retarded school after all.” Betty demanded. I began to walk and they all followed my footsteps. I continued to hold Alex on my back and she flattened against me and kept me warm. I could feel Macie at my right elbow.

 

My school was the ideal place to play hide and seek, and it was the only reason we were here. I would have loved to play in complete darkness, except for the fact that Macie and Lynn would automatically loose. Darkness was not an issue for me. I did not need to be able to see in order to find my friends. I could feel their presence before they even touched me, and when they did touch me, the sense sank down beneath my skin and furthered itself into my body until it fused with my blood. Flowing through me rapidly only to rotate back around to my heart.

 

“Are we picking teams?” Lucy asked.

 

“Yes! I'm with Claudia!” Alex insisted.

 

“I'm with Lucy.” Betty said almost at the same time as Alex.

 

“Jeez, you guys can only tell you sisters by your paralleled impatience.” Macie commented. I giggled and Alex poked me. It was hard to imagine that the blonde haired hard-ass that was Betty could be the sister of the fun loving goddess with blue hair. “So I guess Kate, Lynn and I are on one team?” I could tell she wasn't happy.

 

“If you don't mind.” I answered, trying to convey an appreciative tone in my voice. She snorted, and I could tell that yes, she minded very much, being stuck with the anti-peace-and-quiet twins, but she didn't say anything, and I knew it was because she was doing me a favor.

 

“Alright, ten minute head start. Remember, only use your `gifts' if your separated from your partner.” Lucy instructed and looked pointedly at Alex, who shrugged uncaringly. “Okay, go!”

 

Everyone ran in a different direction, Alex still on my back. I put her down when we got to the staircase, grabbed her hand and pulled her along. I knew exactly where we should go because even if someone did break the rules and use their `gift' to find us, they still wouldn't be able to get to this place. I pulled the key out of my pocket and jiggled the door open.

 

“Where are we going?” Alex asked.

 

“Roof.” I answered and I could tell she was smiling even though I could only see a tiny bit of her face.

 

“You're so weird Claudia.” She stated flatly but followed all the same. “When are we going to get Macie?” I knew what she was talking about. We would “rescue” Macie from the twins of eternal sunshine in a few minutes, as she knew we would.

 

It was chilly out, but I loved the roof. I stole the key my freshman year and went up here whenever I got the chance. Never during school hours and no one from the school actually knew I had the key, but I had an obsession with the roof. The fact that I got to be above everyone else was so lovely to me. I wanted nothing more than for everyone to be able to see me in this moment. To see how much better I was than them. Higher.

 

We walked over to the edge and sat down together. She put her arm around my waist and I put mine around her shoulders and pulled her head onto my shoulder. I rested my head atop hers, pressing my face into the blue hair that smelled like peppermint. Actually, everything about her smelled like peppermint. She even looked something like peppermint. Infinitely blue and white, just like the little lifesaver mints.

 

“So what are you thinking about?” she asked me.

 

“How happy I am to have you back.”

 

“I'm sorry I left you. If I could change anything, it would be the years you spent alone.” She reassured me.

 

“It's okay, it was… character building.” I told her. I didn't need to look at her to tell she was raising her eyebrows at me. “Okay fine, it was lousy. If it wasn't for Macie, I think I would have followed you.”

 

“I'll have to remember to thank Macie. If you had followed, I would never have been able to come back.” She sighed and snuggled a bit closer.

 

My breath caught in my throat a little bit. I remembered the feel of her so well, even though it had been almost three years since I had last felt it, but it was like the liquid sunshine Macie talked about. It was as close as I would ever come to feeling something divine. Memories or what happened three years ago came back to me in droves, and I couldn't think of anything to say except what I was burning to ask.

 

“Alex?” I started, and then faltered.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Do you, umm, has anything changed since before?” I knew it was phrased awkwardly, and an outsider would probably be so confused, but she knew exactly what I meant.

 

She breathed in and out deeply a few times and I wondered briefly if she has perhaps fallen asleep. She was always so tired. I could remember us getting together only to take naps. She would sleep, I wouldn't. She took a minute, and then whispered, “No, nothing has changed.”

 

We sat in silence for a minute. I suddenly became very aware of my body. The peculiar angle that my legs were bent at, the chipped nail polish on my fingers, the tiny wisps of hair falling into my eyes. Also, how very warm I was. Memories. They do things to you.

 

“Does that bother you?” she asked me quietly, a tiny hint of worry in her voice.

 

“Of course not. It didn't bother me then, why would it now?” I said quickly.

 

She laughed at me. “So, what now?”

 

“I'm not really sure. Any ideas?” I pushed her hair behind her ear.

 

“Not really. I mean, I know what I want, but that doesn't matter anymore. We don't have to make a decision this time. We have time this time.” She responded, but she looked down slightly. I could tell she was uncomfortably guilt full.

 

“You don't have to feel that way Alex. You never did anything wrong.” I told her firmly.

 

“I was selfish.” She responded.

 

“Oh, and I wasn't? Please Alex. I did what I thought would make you happy with no regards toward anyone. I still do that. I still am selfish.”

 

“It did make me happy.” Was all she said in return for a while. We sat in silence for a few minutes again before she asked, “What about you?”

 

“What about me what?”

 

“Did it make you happy?” she repeated.

 

“Umm, I think that's a weird way of phrasing it. I was happy I guess, yeah, but it wasn't because I got what I wanted like you did.” I stopped to think about what I would say next, only because I was sure it would come out scrambled. “I was happy because it turned out to be the most wonderful memory, and it sustained me. I thought it would haunt me, but it didn't.”

 

“So, you liked it?” she giggled. I could tell she was relieved.

 

“Yeah, I think I did.” I smiled.

 

“And for the future?” she asked.

 

“I don't know. I do love you. All the time you were gone I knew I was never going to find anyone I would love as much as you and I just gave up after a while. But I still can't figure out how I love you. Yes, it was a good memory. Yes, you're someone I am going to, whether you like it or not, spend the rest of my life with. But I am not sure about being romantically in love with you.” I kind of spat it out. I'd thought about it for so long, and now I finally got to say it.

 

“Shame. I'm really going to miss that apple-honey taste.” She replied, smiling.

 

“What apple-honey taste?” I questioned suspiciously.

 

“You taste like apples and honey.” She told me, pulling me tighter.

 

“I do not! You're not funny!” I whined.

 

“No, you do, I swear!” she insisted.

 

“Alex, I'm allergic to apples. There is no way I can taste like them.” I pointed out.

 

She pushed me back so we were lying down. She curled up on top to me the way she always did when we were kids, and placed her head right over my heart.

 

“Well you do. What do I taste like?” she asked, reaching up to touch my neck with her fingertips. I fiddled with her hair for a minute, thinking.

 

“Peppermint.”

 

She sighed. “Damn it.”

 

She pulled herself up so her face was an inch from mine, our lips almost touching. I stayed very still. I always just kind of stayed still.

 

“You're making this so difficult.” She informed me. I smiled, in a sick way enjoying her frustration. It was cute to me. I loved it when anyone did that because it brought a kind of half joy to me for some unknown reason that probably could be uncovered through intense amounts of therapy.

 

“Ah well, I make life hard for people. It's just what I do. Can't help it. Sorry.” I teased.

 

She groaned, completely overcome. “Claudia?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Please?” she asked timidly.

 

“Okay.”

 

There was not a moment's hesitation. It was gentle yet searching, and something vaguely creamy about it. It was like I remembered it, but not as hurried. There was a calmness that I enjoyed about it verse the fierceness of all those previous to it. I can not think of proper words to describe it. Surreal? Fantasy like? Completely perfect? Yeah, perfect is good. Hot, saucy and perfect.