Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ Death Do Us Part ❯ Break ( Chapter 4 )

Yeah, this chapter is short, but I'll be updating the next two chapters soon. They were all supposed to be one chapter, but too much happens and I don't want to rush. =)

Thanks to everyone that reviewed or gave me some feedback.

Disclaimer: This is an entirely original fictional story.

I've decided to dedicate the rest of this story to InuGrrl's InuYasha fic, `The Edge of Seventeen'. A great inspiration, I finally found it.

 

 

Enjoy!

 

----------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------

 

 

Crushing.

 

It was as if each thing, every atom; particle of everything that made up the world had brutally refused to accept him as part of it. It was crushing. The weight of every atmosphere coming down on him at once. He was at the bottom of the ocean and at the peak of Everest at the exact same time. The pressure.

 

Absolutely crushing.

 

His throat closed up completely. He couldn't breathe. He could barely think. His tongue was dry, parched, he felt like he had been lost in a cruel dessert for weeks. He stole air desperately through his nose, his nostrils flaring, almost sucked closed at the pressure. His fists were unrecognizable, tight balls of white lined with stressed blue veins. His throat opened up, he was ready to vomit. It closed again sharply, the stinging taste of bile attacking his taste buds. The stinging sensation of tears crept in the corners of his eyes.

 

She was packing. As much of her belongings as she could fit into her suitcase. She was silent, tears falling freely, drying out her weary body. She was just too tired of screaming.

 

All he could do was stand there and watch. Paralyzed, numb. He tried to open his mouth, but pain lanced through his entire body from one acute source in his chest, shutting it tight. He held his breath. What was this place? It was his room, his bed. No longer theirs. He didn't know for how long, he barely knew why, but she was leaving. Where is this place?

 

This place,

 

Is Hell.

 

He must have killed himself already. He had been holding his breath for long enough. Maybe he had died without noticing it? He could have even died the previous night, might have slipped and fell off of his perch at Agate Bridge. Can you kill yourself without knowing?

 

Or is my life so close to hell that I didn't realize I'm there?

 

There was no fire, no demons, no pitchfork-wielding Satan. Just him in his room, watching Rei pack her suitcase.

 

Hell.

 

He opened his mouth again. Words came out of their own accord,

 

“Why?” It was pained, almost a cry to the heavens, the angels that had forsaken him because of the colour of his wings. She paused in her frantic efforts; she felt her knees go weak. The emotions were draining her very spirit from her.

 

“I have to do this, Satoru.” His face contorted in denial.

 

“No.”

 

“I have to leave!”

 

“No!” Tears spilled. Agony was plastered on his face. The blood had stopped flowing to his hands, his tight grip cutting them off.

 

“Please,” She begged, the mere sight of him tearing her inside out.

 

“No!”

 

Like a child throwing a tantrum. Just a stupid child. Hardly a man. Rei needs a real man, someone to look after her. Someone she needs, not someone who needs her. Someone strong, brave, stable. He realized he was none of these things. His mind reeled, he panicked, she had started packing again, and she was almost done, he was far beyond desperate. Like fresh vomit, the words gushed from his mouth, made his eyes bloodshot and made his throat raw,

 

“I'll kill myself!”

 

It stopped her in her tracks. Drove her to the floor. She collapsed, sobbing. One hand covered her face in an attempt to hide her agony from the world. Her father had been right. Her voice was torn.

 

“I'm stuck with you, aren't I?”

 

Stuck with me?

 

Stuck with me?

 

“Please, just let me go!” Her voice was begging, straining under the pressure of her cries. “Let me go,”

 

“I can't let you.” She was breaking. He was getting his way. Like a child throwing a tantrum. “You can't leave me!” Sirens roared in his head, screeching, imaginary ambulances rushed to the damage in his body.

 

“I have to do this.” She swallowed her sobs, proved the true strength of a woman. She rose from her knees, “I'm just not strong enough, and I'm not good enough to help you.”

 

“I need you.”

 

“Don't!” Don't what? Be so pathetic? Don't need me so much?

 

“I'll...kill myself, if you leave.” His voice was low, disgusted with himself. He was the lowest of the low, belonged in the deepest, darkest corner of the city sewer, living among the combined waste of the entire population. It was the only thing he could think of to keep her with him. Keep her close. He was stabbing himself with a rusty, serrated blade, never quite bleeding to death, just bleeding. She shook her head and closed her eyes. “God, please, Rei.”

 

“I...have to do this, for both of us.” She loved him more than anything. She needed to know how much he loved her. She knew how much he needed her. In her mind, words from the god forsaken black book echoed. Agate Bridge. Suicide. The pain doesn't stop. There's a hole in my heart. She knew about everything. She couldn't help him anymore; he needed to be strong, to help himself. “I want to be happy. I want you to be happy, too.”

 

“I didn't make you happy last night?” His voice was harsh, bitten through his tears. She turned away from him, this wasn't about sex, it was about freedom, happiness.

 

Freedom?

 

The hardest thing she'd ever had to do was walk out of that apartment. Turn her back on the man she loved. She felt as if she was giving up on him, but knew that he would be stronger if she did this. He could get stronger. Then he wouldn't need her so much anymore. She needed him to want her more.

 

What if he kills himself?

 

There's a hole in my heart.

 

She closed the door behind her at that thought, praying to any gods to give him strength. How do you feel when the one you love wants to kill themselves? She barely knew what she was doing, but just knew that she had to get away. The weight on her shoulders got heavier and heavier with each step further away from the paralyzed man in the murky apartment. She heard him scream, chilling her bones.

 

What a coward.

Who is the coward?

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

“Rei?”

 

It was raining again, and the last thing he had expected at his door late in the afternoon was his daughter. She was soaking wet and had a suitcase behind her, as if she was trying to cover it with her small body, refusing to admit defeat. She opened her mouth to explain, but couldn't find the words. She wanted to say; my husband wants to kill himself. I could never make him happy. I want a normal life. I'm tired of crying. Help me, daddy.

 

But she wasn't a child anymore. She couldn't say that.

 

“Come in, Rei,” He stepped aside and pulled her suitcase in for her. What did the punk do now? “Your old room is free.”

 

Rei could smell the rich aromas of her mother's generous cooking and as she walked past the dining room, noticed the long table set with their finest china and cutlery. A head poked out of the kitchen to greet the visitor.

 

“Rei!?” Her eyes went wide and she dropped whatever she was cooking, rushing to her daughter. “What on earth happened?! You're soaking wet!” She eyed the suitcase. “Rei? Did...something happen with Satoru?”

“Leave her, Keiko, looks like she's had a rough time.” Rei looked at her father gratefully and proceeded up the stairs. Her parents watched her, each thinking differently; they turned to each other when she was out of earshot. “I'm going to kill him.”

 

“Gendo...they love each other so much.”

“To tell you the truth, they remind me of us.” He looked to his wife in a rare moment of tenderness. “But this is different...”

 

“She hasn't given up on him, she never will.” She held his hand, pleading. “Maybe you should talk to him?”

“I hate him.”

 

“The night in the park was a long time ago, Gendo.”

“He tries to appear so innocent and helpless all the time, and she falls for it.” Gendo recalled the times he had fought with Satoru, who had taken the beating. It wasn't until they were alone that the punk got smart. “He's stronger than she thinks.”

“He's stronger than he thinks. Go talk to him, please? This... has never happened before. She needs help this time.”

“What she needs is a proper husband, a better man.” His voice was rough again.

“Satoru is a good man...he's had a tough time. You know about his condition.”

“She needs someone without a condition. It just isn't fair on her.”

She sighed. There was just no convincing her stubborn husband. She lingered by him a little longer, but returned to her kitchen. She had cooking to do; they were having guests over tonight. Relatives and family friends, no matter whom, Keiko always cooked up a storm. Tonight would be no different. She tried to keep her mind off her daughter.

 

Upstairs, Rei sat in her room. It was almost exactly the way she had left it, only house guests would have used it while Meiko was still living here. She lay back on her bed with a thump, defeated. She felt dirty. A liar, someone evil. A traitor.

 

Did she betray him?

 

There are so many ways in which someone can betray the people they love.

 

She left him, the knowledge that he would commit suicide if she did so clear in her mind. The big bold letters of `suicide' were branded into her mind. What if he was going to actually kill himself? Has he tried before?

 

What if he's already dead, right now?

 

Knocking at the door, then it opened. She didn't bother to see who it was, but felt the bed sag as he sat on the edge of it beside her.

“Come to gloat, dad?” She held back her tears. She had cried enough. No more.

 

“No, no.” He sighed. “I came to tell you that there are people coming for dinner soon. I want you to meet them.”

 

“I don't want to meet anyone. I don't want to see anyone.”

 

“You need to eat something,”

 

“I'm not hungry.”

 

“Rei...” He looked at her with true sympathy, “Tell me what happened.” He really hadn't expected her response. Not prepared in the least.

 

“He wants to kill himself.” Her father's eyes went wide. “I found his diary, it's all in there. He said he'd commit suicide if I left. He threatened me with that.” She was disgusted. With Satoru, with herself.

 

“But you still left?”

But she had left. She was a dirty, selfish traitor.

The small remainder of the afternoon went by with the smell of fine food in the air, and more and more people were greeted into the dining room by the hospitable Gendo and Keiko Hikari. They chatted, ate, joked, laughed and complimented the cooking. The lighting was soft but bright, a relaxing evening. There were close to twenty people seated around the finely set table, trays of food lining the middle. That was the image Rei was greeted with when she came downstairs after her tears had dried.

 

“Oh, Rei! Come, come, have a seat sweetheart.” Everyone's attention was on her as she sat herself in an empty seat, beside a notably handsome young man. “Everyone who hasn't met my daughter, this is Rei.” The young man turned to Rei at his left.

 

“A pleasure to meet you, Rei.” His voice was like honey. It was slick, soft, sweet. It attracted her to him and stuck once it washed over her. He reached out his hand, charming hazel eyes much like hers sparkling with interest. Rei took his hand, and was surprised when he pulled it to his mouth for a sensual kiss. Her eyes went to his smooth lips. She almost blushed.

 

“You are...?” She pulled her hand away softly, their gazes locked.

 

“Rei, this is Mr. Li's son, Zack, from America.” She smiled knowingly at her daughter. “He's here on business, you know.”

 

“Thank you, Hikari-san, but no need for the elaborate introduction.” He flashed his perfect white teeth in a dazzling smile; the ladies at the table went numb. Rei was in some sort of trance. There was no way someone could be that good looking. Silky, golden hair, bronze skin, rich eyes...The image in her mind was beautiful.

 

A pang in her chest slapped an image of her husband right on top of it.

 

What am I doing?

 

“You two would have a lot in common, you should really get together sometime.” said a smiling Mrs. Li, eager to see her son with the daughter of a promising business partner.

 

“Yeah. I'd like that.” Zack was talking to his mother, but his gaze never left Rei. She was beautiful, blushing, and looked so cute because she was nervous. He felt an arousal he hadn't felt in a while, almost animalistic. He could see secrets she held in her eyes, deep, thrilling. He wanted to draw them from her, find out more about this woman that made his heart beat so much faster.

 

“Oh? W-well, I-” What was she supposed to say? I'm married? Where's you're husband? Well, he wants to kill himself, so he couldn't be here tonight.

 

“Are you free tomorrow evening? It's the weekend after all.” The other occupants on the table looked on with interest, remembering their youth so clearly now. The few that knew she was married let it slip from their minds, only faintly remembering the small detail.

 

“Y-yes.” She gave up; after all, it would help her keep her mind off her sore heart. She couldn't possibly have turned down the beautiful, charming man, or the chance to be doted upon for an evening. She looked at him again, and although he looked a little corny, she assumed that he just had to be the most attractive man on the earth.

 

Again, Satoru's face came into view, his young face, deep blue eyes, that little feminine beauty spot, pale skin and black hair a stark contrast to the gallant charmer before her.

“It's settled then,” He smiled. “We can talk about it later.” Everyone on the table was smiling, half of them extremely jealous. Rei's smile was honest, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

 

Dirty.

 

Selfish.

 

Traitor.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

Rei,

 

Do you want me to die?

 

 

----------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------

A/N: It took a whole week to write that <.<
Hopefully I'm on a roll now, so the next few chapters will be easy =)