Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ Lover ❯ Lover ( One-Shot )

Everything about this story is mine: plot, character, etcetera. Please do not use without permission.

 

 

I loved him. Whatever you want to say about me is fine. I don't care. Just never, ever believe for even a moment that I didn't love him.

 

You say it was obsession. But what would you know? What can you tell me? You who have never held someone's precious blood on your fingers, on your lips... what can you tell me of love? Your love is bound by flesh, restricted by skin. I know no such boundary. I can love wholly. And yet, I am the deviant.

 

Pedophile. Sadist. You are always quick to classify aren't you? He was too young, you said. I had to wait, you said. When he grew up we could do what we wanted. He's still a child, you say, that's the reason. But if he were older, you would object as well, wouldn't you? It's wrong, you'd say. Pain has no part in love, you'd say. And you wonder why it is I who pity you. Let me tell you a little secret. He is no child. A child has not lived behind those eyes for a long time. He is old enough to understand that I love him. And you know what? He is old enough to love me back. I do not see why I should wait until I am an old man just to satisfy your misplaced propriety. He deserves better than that.

 

I think of you often. Whenever I hold him, I think of you. When he closes his eyes I think of you. I remember you when I taste blood from his twelve-year old neck. I remember you when he doesn't scream in pain, but murmurs in satisfaction. I always bring you up when I let him take his turn. He laughs. He says you'd be happy to know that I only barely scratch him, and that the wounds I let him make on me are much greater. Are you? Happy, I mean. Of course not. You wouldn't understand true happiness. Would you?

 

I switched his pills. He decided that we both needed to die when you chose to try to take him away from me. I gave him one sleeping pill and the rest were sugar pills. He'll be cross when he wakes up, no doubt about it. I'm sure you will convince him that I was a monster, that I felt nothing but lust for him. He understands love. I taught him that. He has never known lust. I'm sure you will teach him. I know that I can trust you to destroy the warmth and security I have worked so hard to build for him, so I bequeath my entire legacy to you. I leave you his mind to fill with wicked thoughts. I leave you his heart to fill with hate of himself, and of me. I leave you his soul to fill with fear. I leave you his body to thrust into a world that cannot care for him. I leave you his voice to speak your hollow words instead of the pregnant breaths he would whisper for me. I leave you everything he is, to violate and turn into another soulless clone of yourself. And I leave you my body, covered in the blood he loved, for you to treat it as garbage, as is fitting for an aberrant.

 

And you have the audacity to call me a sadist.

 

With all the emotion I can muster for those who could never understand,

Lover.