Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ Magnetism ❯ Disenchantment ( Chapter 2 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: Shakster 
"Wait, the cute brunet guy you were talking about, Joey?” Wesley asked with a smile.
“Yeah. That cute brunet guy.”
“I can’t believe you got his number! Go you!”
“I just…he’s…this isn’t going to work, Wesley. He’s too perfect.”
“Well, how do you feel when you speak to him?” Joey and Wesley met eyes. “Well?”
“I get this feeling…”
“A feeling is good. You know what I always say, Babe. You should never settle for anything less than butterflies.”
Miscellaneous: Original Stories Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / Romance / Drama | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 08.08.2008 | Pages: 10 | Words: 10.1K | Visits: 157 | Status: Work In Progress
"Wait, the cute brunet guy you were talking about, Joey?” Wesley asked with a smile.
“Yeah. That cute brunet guy.”
“I can’t believe you got his number! Go you!”
“I just…he’s…this isn’t going to work, Wesley. He’s too perfect.”
“Well, how do you feel when you speak to him?” Joey and Wesley met eyes. “Well?”
“I get this feeling…”
“A feeling is good. You know what I always say, Babe. You should never settle for anything less than butterflies.”
Miscellaneous: Original Stories Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / Romance / Drama | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 08.08.2008 | Pages: 10 | Words: 10.1K | Visits: 157 | Status: Work In Progress
Chapter 2: Disenchantment
“JOEY WARNER!” Joey jumped, nearly falling out of the bed and taking the bed linen with him. “JOEY!” Joey scrambled up and out of his bedroom.
“Wesley, what, what is it? Where's the fire?” Joey stumbled towards the kitchen, his royal blue boxers hugging his hips. “Wesley?”
“Sit down. Right now.” Joey's eyebrows met. He sat at the counter, on a stool.
“I have been calling you for at least five minutes, Joey.”
“What did I do now?”
“Breakfast.” Joey shot Wesley a look.
“You woke me up for breakfast, Wes?”
“Not just any breakfast. It's our anniversary.” Joey made a face. “It's been a year since we moved in together.”
“A year today?”
“Yes.” Joey's lifted his eyebrows. “You forgot, didn't you, Babe?”
“Yeah.” Joey's eyes lit up as Wesley brought him over pecan waffles. “You never make me these.”
“I know, but today's a special occasion.” Wesley smiled.
“Wesley, I moved in on a Tuesday, remember, it was the only day I could take off from work.”
“I know, and that was a year ago. So now today's date fell on a Wednesday. Come on, Joey. It's not a difficult concept.” Wesley handed him syrup. “I can't believe you forgot.”
“I'm bad at dates, you know that, Wes. I have to ask you when my birthday is half the time.” Wesley smiled.
“So dramatic.” He sat down across from him. “Now eat up, you have class later.” Joey nodded.
“Thank you, Wes.” Wesley smiled. “I'm sorry I forgot.”
“It's okay.”
“I didn't do anything special for you.”
“Joey, it's fine. You can make it up to me later.” Wesley's smile turned devilish. Then he winked.
“Such a horny pervert.”
“I said nothing about sex. You can make dinner.” Joey rolled his eyes. “You're so cute when you're annoyed.”
“So you tell me.” Joey forked a decent helping of the anniversary breakfast into his mouth. “So many anniversaries this month, it's hard to keep track.”
“This is the only one that actually matters, Babe.” Joey had to agree. “Besides, I'd hardly count your and Dustin's breakup as an anniversary.”
“We broke up three days after we hit a year, Wesley. It's not easy for me to forget that day.”
“I know, Babe.” Wesley presented Joey his wrist. “We both have days we'll never forget.” Joey kissed the wrist gently, his lips pressing into the scar tenderly. “Easy, you'll get syrup all over it.” Wesley laughed when Joey's soft kiss turned into a coarse lick. “Only you.”
“Any other days I should be aware of coming up?”
“No, not at the moment. But like I said, this is the only date that matters.” Wesley took his arm back. “It's been a rough year. But we got through it.”
“Yeah, just as long as we don't wind up being out on the streets.”
“Well, Joey, it's already Wednesday. Friday I'm asking Grandpa for the money. With or without your permission.”
“I still have today and tomorrow.”
“Yes, but after that…”
“I know.” Joey shoved more of the waffles into his mouth. He was suddenly not very hungry anymore. The thought of them living out of a homeless shelter wasn't exactly appealing. Of course Wesley's grandfather would let them stay with him…or Hell, maybe they could stay with their “friends” Caspian and Raimi. A box would be far more appealing.
“Joey, I was browsing through that apartment thing you brought home from the supermarket the other night.” Joey looked up into Wesley's eyes. “My old apartment building has two listings. I was tempted to find out if my old place was up for rent.”
“And what would that prove, Wesley?”
“I don't know. I guess I got a little curious. If it is up for rent I wonder if the landlord will tell people that there was a suicide attempt in the bathroom.” Joey's eyes narrowed, slightly. “My landlord was always an asshole. He'd probably never tell anyone the truth. Hey, how come the tiles look like there's a pink tint to them?”
“Wesley.” Joey gave him an angry look. “That's not funny.”
“Life's one big joke, Babe. Sometimes you just gotta laugh it up.”
“Wesley.” Joey's look became lethal. “It's not funny.”
“Fine. I'm sorry.” Wesley sighed. “So sensitive about it.”
“And why wouldn't I be, Wesley? You weren't the one who found your best friend, on the floor, unconscious…”
“I said I was sorry, Joey. Drop it.”
“Not so funny anymore is it?” Wesley looked at Joey and got up from the counter. “Wesley.”
“I'm going to get ready for work.” Wesley left the kitchen.
“Damn it.” Joey headed into Wesley's bedroom. “Wesley.”
“I said drop it. Goddamn it, Joey! I have to get ready for work.” Joey looked at Wesley and nodded.
“Fine.”
Joey dumped his and Wesley's unfinished waffles into the garbage can and started washing the dishes.
There was no use talking to Wesley when he was in one of his moods. Joey sighed. He had to know Wesley would react this way. Talking about the two-toned haired boy's suicide attempt was always a touchy subject. Wesley often treated the entire incident as a joke. Joey never found the humor in it. He supposed it was Wesley's way of dealing with the situation. It was just too painful to think about seriously.
It couldn't be easy on Wesley. Especially since one of the causes for his depression was still a part of his life. Plus his scar was a constant reminder of how fatal his depression almost became. But Joey called it a battle scar. And it was. Wesley had come out of that stronger than he had been, and he grew stronger with each passing day. Wesley was one of the strongest people Joey knew, and it hurt him to acknowledge that there was a time in his life that Wesley wasn't that strong. And it hurt Joey even more to remember that Joey wasn't there for him when he started to falter in the first place.
Every time Joey kissed that scar he admitted being a bad friend. He admitted to neglecting Wesley to the point that the boy he discovered in the bathroom that day over a year ago was a stranger to him. The Wesley he knew was happy go lucky, smart, funny, and resilient. He hadn't noticed that Wesley had become a shell of his former self. But he couldn't give himself all the credit for Wesley's depression. Certainly there was someone else that played an important role to the melancholy that consumed Wesley's existence.
And that person was Raimi Faris.
Joey had been caught up in his superficial relationship with Dustin, and hadn't noticed that Wesley hadn't taken Raimi's rejection well at all. But of course who would. Raimi's betrayal had gone deep. Joey could only imagine all the things said between the two of them alone. Wesley envisioned Raimi being “the one” even before their friendship turned into something serious.
Raimi and Wesley were always connected; they shared a lot in common. Joey had grown jealous as they grew closer. Raimi understood Wesley in a way only he could. They were soul mates, bound together:
“You're my happiness, Saahibi. We will always be one. You are everything right in this world.”
Joey had heard the speeches all before. That's why it came as a shock that Raimi would abandon his “precious Saahibi.” He wasn't sure what it was about Scott Caspian Raimi liked, he wasn't sure at what point Wesley and his connection was no longer important, but suddenly Raimi's musings began to sound very different:
“You know I'll always love you, Wesley. We'll always be good friends. You're so important to me.”
The entire thing happened so quickly. Joey had just started talking to Dustin when Raimi and Wesley's friendship turned into something more. Joey thought that it had to be fate. Both he and his best friend had found someone to love. Joey fell hard for the raven-haired man, so fast he hadn't had time to prepare for it. He hadn't packed a parachute. He had jumped blindly, and it was much too late by the time he realized that the snake was full of it.
Joey had never had a problem with Raimi. They had been friends at one point. Raimi had assured Joey that he would never take his place in Wesley's heart. After a while, Joey no longer cared what Raimi and Wesley did, he had his own boyfriend to concern himself with. Neither Joey or Wesley noticed Caspian sneaking around the background, waiting to make his move.
Even an outside observer would see that Scott Caspian had waited to declare his adulation for Raimi a day late and a buck short. But Raimi was impressed by Caspian's showy affections, he was dazzled by the icy businessman's attention. At the time Raimi and Wesley weren't really officially anything. Technically, Raimi was free to date other people, as was Wesley.
After a brief courtship that included expensive lunches, lavish gifts, and enough charm to entice an Eskimo into buying ice Raimi fell in lust with the son of the head of Caspian Enterprises. That had to be the only word for it. Lust. Certainly Caspian was attractive and cultured, but once you got past the tailored Italian suits, he made a pretty shitty human being.
Wesley and Caspian had never been on good terms in the past. Since high school they had had open confrontations with each other. And why not, Wesley was Scott Caspian's biggest competition. What better payback than to take the one thing from Wesley that meant more than anything to him? Now of course, it would be pretty silly to believe that Caspian stayed with Raimi all this time just to upset Wesley. Joey fully believed that he loved Raimi on some level. How deep that love went was hard to tell, if the rumors about Scott sleeping around were any indication.
It all came down to being alone.
Joey couldn't think of anyone who would welcome spending life single. Even rich heirs want love, deep down. And Raimi's unconditional love for him was just what Scott Caspian needed. Since they had gotten together, and even more recently, when Raimi had moved in, it was clear that he had given Caspian a new boost in his life. He was friendlier, not as cold, and eventually, as time past, and Wesley welcomed Raimi back into his life, Scott came along as part of the deal.
But Scott and Raimi were not their friends.
Joey always hated that Wesley never made Raimi pay for what happened to him. Raimi told Wesley that he was going to be with Caspian, and by the end of the month Wesley's shattered heart had eaten away all of his spirit. It was fate that Joey had decided to talk to Wesley about Dustin that afternoon. The one thing he was thankful for, that Dustin's cheating had finally caught up to him…Joey had found brown hairs all over their pillowcases.
All of Joey's fears were reaching a climax. After a confrontation with Dustin that didn't go as expected Joey went looking for Wesley. It would mark the first time Joey would see his best friend in three weeks. And in typical Joey fashion, he was only going for a visit because he needed Wesley to help him.
Maybe it was also some sort of divine intervention that Wesley had been so distraught he hadn't even bothered locking the door. Joey tried buzzing Wesley's apartment, but Wesley was already unconscious. Joey was going to leave, but just as he had turned to go, assuming Wesley was at class or work, an elderly woman came out of the building. Joey caught the door just in time.
Everything about that day had gone as if dependent on a chance.
As soon as Joey entered the apartment he knew that something was wrong, all the hairs on his body stood at attention. There was something dark in the air; he called to Wesley, tentatively at first. He still didn't remember how he wound up in the bathroom. He stepped in some of the blood as he discovered Wesley's frail body. He had lost a fair amount of weight, he been so withdrawn he couldn't find the will to eat.
The weeks after the incident had flown. Wesley said he couldn't stay in his place anymore. Joey was also in need of a place to stay, after all, it had been Dustin's apartment he had been living in. And that's when they found the place they were in now.
And Raimi had gotten away with all of it.
Maybe Joey disliked Raimi so much because just like Wesley, Joey had been fed empty promises. Raimi had lied to both of them. He had lied to Joey when he told him that he would take care of Wesley for him. And Joey had believed it, letting himself be consumed by Dustin.
And maybe he also disliked Raimi because like Raimi, Joey had chosen money and charm when picking a mate. Dustin wasn't nearly as rich as Scott Caspian, but he certainly had a decent income. He easily paid for Joey's tuition, for the rent in their swinging uptown apartment, the cars, the parties. Breaking free of that had been painful.
He had sold the car Dustin had gotten him for his birthday and used it to pay tuition, put down the security deposit on his and Wesley's new place and buy another vehicle. He had thrown the engagement ring out the window of his new car, while he was on the hi-way. Every item Dustin had ever gotten him worth value had been sold off, and anything that wasn't sellable was burned or destroyed. Pictures, mementos, keepsakes had all been deleted from Joey's existence.
It was the only way he knew how to deal with it. He had to get over Dustin quickly, because Wesley had become his first priority. Wesley's depression took a front seat to their lives, and before long Joey realized he no longer had time to think about his ex. Of course the problem with handling the situation in such a manner was that Joey never really got over Dustin properly. Maybe that was why a year later his heart still hurt, why he ran away from any hint of a relationship.
And Wesley…becoming friends with that bastard Raimi again had really angered Joey. Raimi never apologized for the pain and hurt he put Wesley through. He never mentioned his role in Wesley's depression. He acted as if Wesley's suicide attempt had never happened. But Joey had bit his tongue, and respected Wesley's choice. Wesley needed to amend things with his former lover, it was the only way he'd ever heal, he had said.
Yet it was right after Raimi and Wesley began talking again that Wesley manifested into a new person. He started seeing multiple guys at once, running from meaningless hook up to meaningless hook up. It was almost as if Wesley had to prove to himself that he was desirable. Raimi was with Scott so Wesley would show the world that he was attractive and wanted.
All Joey could do now was hope that this was all part of some plan. The first year could have been a lot worse. Wesley could have slipped into a worse depression; Joey could have joined Wesley there. But they had gotten through it, the hardest part was over now.
It could only get better from here, it certainly couldn't get any worse.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
&# 8220;Wesley, wake up. Come on, wake up…wake up…it's okay…it's over now…” The black and blond haired man in question was trembling as he opened his light brown eyes. “It's okay, it was just a bad dream. I'm here now.” Wesley sat up, his t-shirt clinging to his sweat soaked chest. “You're okay now, Wesley.” Wesley's eyes focused into the darkness. “Water?”
Wesley nodded but said nothing. Joey helped him drink the ice-cold liquid. When Wesley finished it he looked up at Joey, his eyes calm again.
“Why do I keep having these dreams, Joey?” Wesley's voice was a whisper. And he was still unnerved.
“They're brought on by stress. Even though you've been optimistic, deep down you know our money situation is only going to get worse. I'm sure that's what brought it on.”
“I guess so.” Wesley shifted in his bed. “Will you stay with me for a few minutes.”
“Of course.” Joey sat on the bed and slipped into the covers. “Was it the same dream or a different one?”
“Same one. I see him, and I'm calling for him and he runs away. And then my wrist opens up and I start bleeding and it won't stop.” Wesley presented Joey his wrist. Joey kissed the scar softly. Wesley curled up into him. “It's such a scary dream, Joey. I keep thinking I'm going to bleed to death.”
“I know, Wes.”
“I hate him sometimes, Joey. Sometimes I just…”
“You're the one that told me there's no use being angry over this. It's beyond our control. Resenting him for being with Caspian isn't going to change anything.”
“I know, Joey. But it still hurts. Raimi and I were so close. You know that.”
“I know.”
“I think seeing them on Saturday was what did it. And Raimi's birthday party is coming up soon, and I know Caspian's going to propose to him.”
“You think?”
“Yeah. I think that's why he got him the motorcycle early. He wants the ring to be the center of attention. They've been pre-engaged for about a month and a half. You know how Scott is, he loves showing off. What better way than by proposing in front of a hundred people?”
“Maybe you're right, Wesley.”
“If he winds up proposing at the party I'm going to fall apart. I just know it.”
“You won't fall apart, because I won't let you. I promise.”
“Why can't I get over this? Why do I still love him?”
“Because the heart knows what it wants, and even if it's unattainable it doesn't stop yearning for it.”
“Every time I think I've moved on from this… there it is again… there's the reminder that it'll never really be over.”
“Raimi chained your soul. You're bound to him until you meet someone who has the lock and key.” Wesley sighed, miserably. Joey held him close, knowing deep down there was only one thing that would make him feel better at the moment. He gently kissed the wrist again, brushing his lips against the scar tenderly.
“Make love to me, Joey…” Wesley whispered, kissing Joey's neck.
Joey returned the kiss and sat up a little. He took off his shirt as Wesley watched. Then he started on his pajama pants. Once he was left with only his boxers on he leaned back against Wesley and began pressing sugary sweet kisses into his hair. “I love you, Wesley…always…” Joey promised, his voice low.
Wesley allowed Joey to take off his own shirt. Then he raised his hips so Joey could remove the boxers. Joey had gotten good at giving Wesley comfort sex. They had been comforting each other for a year now.
“Take off the rest, Joey,” Wesley demanded, his voice already husky. Joey slipped off his boxers and Wesley tackled him back onto the bed, instantly grinding his erection into his taller friend. The friction was enough to get Joey's body to respond, the illicit touch sending chills up his back, Wesley's hands tracing themselves down his chest.
Wesley dipped his head and captured a nipple with his teeth, teasing the trapped nub until Joey cried out. Wesley smiled and then kissed the pebble hard nipple, before doing the same thing to the other one.
“How is it you always wind up dominating me, Wesley?” Joey asked, already panting as Wesley's kisses began trailing down his abdomen.
“I'm just funny that way.”
“Yeah, well not tonight…” Joey wiggled out of Wesley's dept grasp and changed their positions so that he was on top of Wesley. Wesley moaned in delight as Joey gripped his erection and squeezed it, mockingly. “You like, Wes?”
“I'd like to feel that big dick pulsing inside of me. Take me…”
“In just a moment.” Joey kissed Wesley's overly sensitive neck, nipping at the skin. Wesley's half cry half moan was all the encouragement Joey needed as he continued to agitate the flesh, reeling in the feeling of Wesley's erratically beating pulse point underneath his tongue.
“Joey, please…stop…Or hurry up…one or the other…”
“Never.” Wesley tried squirming.
“JOEY WARNER!” Joey jumped, nearly falling out of the bed and taking the bed linen with him. “JOEY!” Joey scrambled up and out of his bedroom.
“Wesley, what, what is it? Where's the fire?” Joey stumbled towards the kitchen, his royal blue boxers hugging his hips. “Wesley?”
“Sit down. Right now.” Joey's eyebrows met. He sat at the counter, on a stool.
“I have been calling you for at least five minutes, Joey.”
“What did I do now?”
“Breakfast.” Joey shot Wesley a look.
“You woke me up for breakfast, Wes?”
“Not just any breakfast. It's our anniversary.” Joey made a face. “It's been a year since we moved in together.”
“A year today?”
“Yes.” Joey's lifted his eyebrows. “You forgot, didn't you, Babe?”
“Yeah.” Joey's eyes lit up as Wesley brought him over pecan waffles. “You never make me these.”
“I know, but today's a special occasion.” Wesley smiled.
“Wesley, I moved in on a Tuesday, remember, it was the only day I could take off from work.”
“I know, and that was a year ago. So now today's date fell on a Wednesday. Come on, Joey. It's not a difficult concept.” Wesley handed him syrup. “I can't believe you forgot.”
“I'm bad at dates, you know that, Wes. I have to ask you when my birthday is half the time.” Wesley smiled.
“So dramatic.” He sat down across from him. “Now eat up, you have class later.” Joey nodded.
“Thank you, Wes.” Wesley smiled. “I'm sorry I forgot.”
“It's okay.”
“I didn't do anything special for you.”
“Joey, it's fine. You can make it up to me later.” Wesley's smile turned devilish. Then he winked.
“Such a horny pervert.”
“I said nothing about sex. You can make dinner.” Joey rolled his eyes. “You're so cute when you're annoyed.”
“So you tell me.” Joey forked a decent helping of the anniversary breakfast into his mouth. “So many anniversaries this month, it's hard to keep track.”
“This is the only one that actually matters, Babe.” Joey had to agree. “Besides, I'd hardly count your and Dustin's breakup as an anniversary.”
“We broke up three days after we hit a year, Wesley. It's not easy for me to forget that day.”
“I know, Babe.” Wesley presented Joey his wrist. “We both have days we'll never forget.” Joey kissed the wrist gently, his lips pressing into the scar tenderly. “Easy, you'll get syrup all over it.” Wesley laughed when Joey's soft kiss turned into a coarse lick. “Only you.”
“Any other days I should be aware of coming up?”
“No, not at the moment. But like I said, this is the only date that matters.” Wesley took his arm back. “It's been a rough year. But we got through it.”
“Yeah, just as long as we don't wind up being out on the streets.”
“Well, Joey, it's already Wednesday. Friday I'm asking Grandpa for the money. With or without your permission.”
“I still have today and tomorrow.”
“Yes, but after that…”
“I know.” Joey shoved more of the waffles into his mouth. He was suddenly not very hungry anymore. The thought of them living out of a homeless shelter wasn't exactly appealing. Of course Wesley's grandfather would let them stay with him…or Hell, maybe they could stay with their “friends” Caspian and Raimi. A box would be far more appealing.
“Joey, I was browsing through that apartment thing you brought home from the supermarket the other night.” Joey looked up into Wesley's eyes. “My old apartment building has two listings. I was tempted to find out if my old place was up for rent.”
“And what would that prove, Wesley?”
“I don't know. I guess I got a little curious. If it is up for rent I wonder if the landlord will tell people that there was a suicide attempt in the bathroom.” Joey's eyes narrowed, slightly. “My landlord was always an asshole. He'd probably never tell anyone the truth. Hey, how come the tiles look like there's a pink tint to them?”
“Wesley.” Joey gave him an angry look. “That's not funny.”
“Life's one big joke, Babe. Sometimes you just gotta laugh it up.”
“Wesley.” Joey's look became lethal. “It's not funny.”
“Fine. I'm sorry.” Wesley sighed. “So sensitive about it.”
“And why wouldn't I be, Wesley? You weren't the one who found your best friend, on the floor, unconscious…”
“I said I was sorry, Joey. Drop it.”
“Not so funny anymore is it?” Wesley looked at Joey and got up from the counter. “Wesley.”
“I'm going to get ready for work.” Wesley left the kitchen.
“Damn it.” Joey headed into Wesley's bedroom. “Wesley.”
“I said drop it. Goddamn it, Joey! I have to get ready for work.” Joey looked at Wesley and nodded.
“Fine.”
Joey dumped his and Wesley's unfinished waffles into the garbage can and started washing the dishes.
There was no use talking to Wesley when he was in one of his moods. Joey sighed. He had to know Wesley would react this way. Talking about the two-toned haired boy's suicide attempt was always a touchy subject. Wesley often treated the entire incident as a joke. Joey never found the humor in it. He supposed it was Wesley's way of dealing with the situation. It was just too painful to think about seriously.
It couldn't be easy on Wesley. Especially since one of the causes for his depression was still a part of his life. Plus his scar was a constant reminder of how fatal his depression almost became. But Joey called it a battle scar. And it was. Wesley had come out of that stronger than he had been, and he grew stronger with each passing day. Wesley was one of the strongest people Joey knew, and it hurt him to acknowledge that there was a time in his life that Wesley wasn't that strong. And it hurt Joey even more to remember that Joey wasn't there for him when he started to falter in the first place.
Every time Joey kissed that scar he admitted being a bad friend. He admitted to neglecting Wesley to the point that the boy he discovered in the bathroom that day over a year ago was a stranger to him. The Wesley he knew was happy go lucky, smart, funny, and resilient. He hadn't noticed that Wesley had become a shell of his former self. But he couldn't give himself all the credit for Wesley's depression. Certainly there was someone else that played an important role to the melancholy that consumed Wesley's existence.
And that person was Raimi Faris.
Joey had been caught up in his superficial relationship with Dustin, and hadn't noticed that Wesley hadn't taken Raimi's rejection well at all. But of course who would. Raimi's betrayal had gone deep. Joey could only imagine all the things said between the two of them alone. Wesley envisioned Raimi being “the one” even before their friendship turned into something serious.
Raimi and Wesley were always connected; they shared a lot in common. Joey had grown jealous as they grew closer. Raimi understood Wesley in a way only he could. They were soul mates, bound together:
“You're my happiness, Saahibi. We will always be one. You are everything right in this world.”
Joey had heard the speeches all before. That's why it came as a shock that Raimi would abandon his “precious Saahibi.” He wasn't sure what it was about Scott Caspian Raimi liked, he wasn't sure at what point Wesley and his connection was no longer important, but suddenly Raimi's musings began to sound very different:
“You know I'll always love you, Wesley. We'll always be good friends. You're so important to me.”
The entire thing happened so quickly. Joey had just started talking to Dustin when Raimi and Wesley's friendship turned into something more. Joey thought that it had to be fate. Both he and his best friend had found someone to love. Joey fell hard for the raven-haired man, so fast he hadn't had time to prepare for it. He hadn't packed a parachute. He had jumped blindly, and it was much too late by the time he realized that the snake was full of it.
Joey had never had a problem with Raimi. They had been friends at one point. Raimi had assured Joey that he would never take his place in Wesley's heart. After a while, Joey no longer cared what Raimi and Wesley did, he had his own boyfriend to concern himself with. Neither Joey or Wesley noticed Caspian sneaking around the background, waiting to make his move.
Even an outside observer would see that Scott Caspian had waited to declare his adulation for Raimi a day late and a buck short. But Raimi was impressed by Caspian's showy affections, he was dazzled by the icy businessman's attention. At the time Raimi and Wesley weren't really officially anything. Technically, Raimi was free to date other people, as was Wesley.
After a brief courtship that included expensive lunches, lavish gifts, and enough charm to entice an Eskimo into buying ice Raimi fell in lust with the son of the head of Caspian Enterprises. That had to be the only word for it. Lust. Certainly Caspian was attractive and cultured, but once you got past the tailored Italian suits, he made a pretty shitty human being.
Wesley and Caspian had never been on good terms in the past. Since high school they had had open confrontations with each other. And why not, Wesley was Scott Caspian's biggest competition. What better payback than to take the one thing from Wesley that meant more than anything to him? Now of course, it would be pretty silly to believe that Caspian stayed with Raimi all this time just to upset Wesley. Joey fully believed that he loved Raimi on some level. How deep that love went was hard to tell, if the rumors about Scott sleeping around were any indication.
It all came down to being alone.
Joey couldn't think of anyone who would welcome spending life single. Even rich heirs want love, deep down. And Raimi's unconditional love for him was just what Scott Caspian needed. Since they had gotten together, and even more recently, when Raimi had moved in, it was clear that he had given Caspian a new boost in his life. He was friendlier, not as cold, and eventually, as time past, and Wesley welcomed Raimi back into his life, Scott came along as part of the deal.
But Scott and Raimi were not their friends.
Joey always hated that Wesley never made Raimi pay for what happened to him. Raimi told Wesley that he was going to be with Caspian, and by the end of the month Wesley's shattered heart had eaten away all of his spirit. It was fate that Joey had decided to talk to Wesley about Dustin that afternoon. The one thing he was thankful for, that Dustin's cheating had finally caught up to him…Joey had found brown hairs all over their pillowcases.
All of Joey's fears were reaching a climax. After a confrontation with Dustin that didn't go as expected Joey went looking for Wesley. It would mark the first time Joey would see his best friend in three weeks. And in typical Joey fashion, he was only going for a visit because he needed Wesley to help him.
Maybe it was also some sort of divine intervention that Wesley had been so distraught he hadn't even bothered locking the door. Joey tried buzzing Wesley's apartment, but Wesley was already unconscious. Joey was going to leave, but just as he had turned to go, assuming Wesley was at class or work, an elderly woman came out of the building. Joey caught the door just in time.
Everything about that day had gone as if dependent on a chance.
As soon as Joey entered the apartment he knew that something was wrong, all the hairs on his body stood at attention. There was something dark in the air; he called to Wesley, tentatively at first. He still didn't remember how he wound up in the bathroom. He stepped in some of the blood as he discovered Wesley's frail body. He had lost a fair amount of weight, he been so withdrawn he couldn't find the will to eat.
The weeks after the incident had flown. Wesley said he couldn't stay in his place anymore. Joey was also in need of a place to stay, after all, it had been Dustin's apartment he had been living in. And that's when they found the place they were in now.
And Raimi had gotten away with all of it.
Maybe Joey disliked Raimi so much because just like Wesley, Joey had been fed empty promises. Raimi had lied to both of them. He had lied to Joey when he told him that he would take care of Wesley for him. And Joey had believed it, letting himself be consumed by Dustin.
And maybe he also disliked Raimi because like Raimi, Joey had chosen money and charm when picking a mate. Dustin wasn't nearly as rich as Scott Caspian, but he certainly had a decent income. He easily paid for Joey's tuition, for the rent in their swinging uptown apartment, the cars, the parties. Breaking free of that had been painful.
He had sold the car Dustin had gotten him for his birthday and used it to pay tuition, put down the security deposit on his and Wesley's new place and buy another vehicle. He had thrown the engagement ring out the window of his new car, while he was on the hi-way. Every item Dustin had ever gotten him worth value had been sold off, and anything that wasn't sellable was burned or destroyed. Pictures, mementos, keepsakes had all been deleted from Joey's existence.
It was the only way he knew how to deal with it. He had to get over Dustin quickly, because Wesley had become his first priority. Wesley's depression took a front seat to their lives, and before long Joey realized he no longer had time to think about his ex. Of course the problem with handling the situation in such a manner was that Joey never really got over Dustin properly. Maybe that was why a year later his heart still hurt, why he ran away from any hint of a relationship.
And Wesley…becoming friends with that bastard Raimi again had really angered Joey. Raimi never apologized for the pain and hurt he put Wesley through. He never mentioned his role in Wesley's depression. He acted as if Wesley's suicide attempt had never happened. But Joey had bit his tongue, and respected Wesley's choice. Wesley needed to amend things with his former lover, it was the only way he'd ever heal, he had said.
Yet it was right after Raimi and Wesley began talking again that Wesley manifested into a new person. He started seeing multiple guys at once, running from meaningless hook up to meaningless hook up. It was almost as if Wesley had to prove to himself that he was desirable. Raimi was with Scott so Wesley would show the world that he was attractive and wanted.
All Joey could do now was hope that this was all part of some plan. The first year could have been a lot worse. Wesley could have slipped into a worse depression; Joey could have joined Wesley there. But they had gotten through it, the hardest part was over now.
It could only get better from here, it certainly couldn't get any worse.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
&# 8220;Wesley, wake up. Come on, wake up…wake up…it's okay…it's over now…” The black and blond haired man in question was trembling as he opened his light brown eyes. “It's okay, it was just a bad dream. I'm here now.” Wesley sat up, his t-shirt clinging to his sweat soaked chest. “You're okay now, Wesley.” Wesley's eyes focused into the darkness. “Water?”
Wesley nodded but said nothing. Joey helped him drink the ice-cold liquid. When Wesley finished it he looked up at Joey, his eyes calm again.
“Why do I keep having these dreams, Joey?” Wesley's voice was a whisper. And he was still unnerved.
“They're brought on by stress. Even though you've been optimistic, deep down you know our money situation is only going to get worse. I'm sure that's what brought it on.”
“I guess so.” Wesley shifted in his bed. “Will you stay with me for a few minutes.”
“Of course.” Joey sat on the bed and slipped into the covers. “Was it the same dream or a different one?”
“Same one. I see him, and I'm calling for him and he runs away. And then my wrist opens up and I start bleeding and it won't stop.” Wesley presented Joey his wrist. Joey kissed the scar softly. Wesley curled up into him. “It's such a scary dream, Joey. I keep thinking I'm going to bleed to death.”
“I know, Wes.”
“I hate him sometimes, Joey. Sometimes I just…”
“You're the one that told me there's no use being angry over this. It's beyond our control. Resenting him for being with Caspian isn't going to change anything.”
“I know, Joey. But it still hurts. Raimi and I were so close. You know that.”
“I know.”
“I think seeing them on Saturday was what did it. And Raimi's birthday party is coming up soon, and I know Caspian's going to propose to him.”
“You think?”
“Yeah. I think that's why he got him the motorcycle early. He wants the ring to be the center of attention. They've been pre-engaged for about a month and a half. You know how Scott is, he loves showing off. What better way than by proposing in front of a hundred people?”
“Maybe you're right, Wesley.”
“If he winds up proposing at the party I'm going to fall apart. I just know it.”
“You won't fall apart, because I won't let you. I promise.”
“Why can't I get over this? Why do I still love him?”
“Because the heart knows what it wants, and even if it's unattainable it doesn't stop yearning for it.”
“Every time I think I've moved on from this… there it is again… there's the reminder that it'll never really be over.”
“Raimi chained your soul. You're bound to him until you meet someone who has the lock and key.” Wesley sighed, miserably. Joey held him close, knowing deep down there was only one thing that would make him feel better at the moment. He gently kissed the wrist again, brushing his lips against the scar tenderly.
“Make love to me, Joey…” Wesley whispered, kissing Joey's neck.
Joey returned the kiss and sat up a little. He took off his shirt as Wesley watched. Then he started on his pajama pants. Once he was left with only his boxers on he leaned back against Wesley and began pressing sugary sweet kisses into his hair. “I love you, Wesley…always…” Joey promised, his voice low.
Wesley allowed Joey to take off his own shirt. Then he raised his hips so Joey could remove the boxers. Joey had gotten good at giving Wesley comfort sex. They had been comforting each other for a year now.
“Take off the rest, Joey,” Wesley demanded, his voice already husky. Joey slipped off his boxers and Wesley tackled him back onto the bed, instantly grinding his erection into his taller friend. The friction was enough to get Joey's body to respond, the illicit touch sending chills up his back, Wesley's hands tracing themselves down his chest.
Wesley dipped his head and captured a nipple with his teeth, teasing the trapped nub until Joey cried out. Wesley smiled and then kissed the pebble hard nipple, before doing the same thing to the other one.
“How is it you always wind up dominating me, Wesley?” Joey asked, already panting as Wesley's kisses began trailing down his abdomen.
“I'm just funny that way.”
“Yeah, well not tonight…” Joey wiggled out of Wesley's dept grasp and changed their positions so that he was on top of Wesley. Wesley moaned in delight as Joey gripped his erection and squeezed it, mockingly. “You like, Wes?”
“I'd like to feel that big dick pulsing inside of me. Take me…”
“In just a moment.” Joey kissed Wesley's overly sensitive neck, nipping at the skin. Wesley's half cry half moan was all the encouragement Joey needed as he continued to agitate the flesh, reeling in the feeling of Wesley's erratically beating pulse point underneath his tongue.
“Joey, please…stop…Or hurry up…one or the other…”
“Never.” Wesley tried squirming.
__________________________________________________________ _____________
Wesley clung onto Joey, contently.
“Better?” Joey asked, still breathing hard.
“Yeah. You always know how to make me forget the bad dreams.” Joey kissed the scar softly. “We have to pick up your car from the shop tomorrow.”
“Um hum.”
“So who were you pretending I was this time?” Wesley teased, with a yawn.
“Why did I call out the name Christian or something?” Wesley quirked an eyebrow.
“Who's Christian?”
“The brunet who gave me his phone number from that art class.”
“Wait, the cute brunet guy you were talking about, Joey?” Wesley asked with a smile.
“Yeah. That cute brunet guy.”
“I can't believe you got his number! Go you!”
“I just…he's…this isn't going to work, Wesley. He's too perfect.”
“Well, how do you feel when you speak to him?” Joey and Wesley met eyes. “Well?”
“I get this feeling…”
“A feeling is good. You know what I always say, Babe. You should never settle for anything less than butterflies.”
“Yeah, well I got butterflies, alright. I have a swarm of them. We talked last night on the phone for a while, but he said he had to get up early for work so we cut it short. I can't wait until tomorrow night. I'm hoping he asks me out.”
“He'd be a fool not to.”
“Not everyone likes blonds, Wes.”
“I do.” Joey snorted. “What was that for?”
“You like anything. Bald, green, purple.” Wesley rolled his eyes. “Well, I met a cocky platinum haired asshole in the class, got his number. You're welcome to have it.”
“Ooh, another boy to add to the pile. Is he hot?”
“Yeah, he's hot. But he's a jerk.”
“I love assholes, pun intended, you know me.”
“Yeah, half of Frenchtown knows you.” Wesley laughed.
“Well, one of us has to be the responsible one, Joey. And one of us has to be the slut.” Joey sighed, his head shaking. “What's his name?”
“Mario.”
“Do I know him?”
“Maybe. He's a friend of Ryan's.”
“Ryan?”
“Branton's ex. The light blond. Quiet.” Wesley nodded, suddenly remembering.
“Hum, that reminds me, I haven't played with Branton in a while. I miss him.” Joey ignored the comment. “I wonder if I know Mario, probably seen him at a party or something before.”
“Probably.”
“Raimi called today, he wanted to confirm our attendance at his birthday party. He said he knew we RSVPed but he didn't want to take any chances because Caspian had invited some of his business associates.”
Joey idly wondered how many people invited had slept with Scott. He was convinced he was having numerous affairs. Just today at the supermarket, one of Frenchtown's biggest rumor mills, Joey overheard two guys talking about a friend of theirs that had been with Caspian while picking out apples. It was true, he could be wrong about it, but he had a gut instinct, and his instincts were rarely wrong.
“What do you want to get Raimi for his birthday?” Wesley asked, ending Joey's train of thought.
“Nothing. I don't like pretending to like him. He and his creep boyfriend.”
“I thought you said you didn't hate Raimi.”
“I don't hate him, but I certainly dislike him immensely. Caspian and Raimi know how I feel about them, I can't imagine having to suffer another night with them.”
“You've always been trying to fight my battles for me, Joey. You have no reason to have beef with them. My issues with them should not be your issues.”
“Your issues are my issues, Wes. And like I already said, I have my own reasons for disliking them.”
“It's not Raimi's fault this happened, Joey.” Wesley showed Joey his wrist. “It's my fault.”
“Bullshit.”
“It wasn't even about wanting to die, Joey. I just wanted the pain to end. I was devastated about Raimi, and it hurt so much, so I did it. It was stupid of me.”
“Raimi caused that pain, Wesley. You and I both know that.”
“There was no way he could have known I was going to react the way I did. You didn't even know.”
“That's because I was being a bad friend. I admit that. Raimi's never once admitted his part in it.”
“Neither of you had a part in it, Joey. My decisions have always been my decisions, you can't stay angry at someone for something I'm telling you he didn't do.”
“Wesley…”
“Joey, let's just change the subject, obviously the suicide attempt has been on both of our minds a lot today.”
“Being broke has been on my mind too, Wes.”
“Well, tomorrow's Thursday and unless some kind of miracle happens I'm going to Grandpa.”
“No, Wesley.”
“We had a deal.”
“Wesley, I…we can't.”
“Joey, I'm going to him, and that's that. Stop being so stubborn.”
“Did I ever tell you the conversation your grandfather and I had, Wes? Did I ever tell you what he said to me that day in the hospital?” Wesley shook his head no. Joey and him met eyes.
“Joey…”
“No, it's about time you hear this. Maybe then you'll understand why I'm being so stubborn about this.” Wesley sighed, hating to have to hear anything else concerning the events from over a year a go.
“You were sleeping in your room, your grandfather and I were standing out in the hallway, talking. Your grandfather lamented about not knowing who you were anymore. I had to admit that I had also become a stranger in your life. Your grandfather was practically in tears as he thought about how close you had been to dying alone, and how lucky you were to have me. I was nearly in hysterics when he said that. Lucky? I had been an absentee friend for months, I was so concerned with my own life that I ignored you constantly, if I had been the best friend I was supposed to be you would have never gotten to that point…”
“Joey, that's not true…”
“I have to finish this, Wesley. Your grandfather said he worried about you, that you could try this again, or that you would resist his help. He said that he was getting older, that he couldn't be there for you like he used to be. And that's when I promised him that I would always take care of you for him. I had so much to repent; so much to pay for…fate had been kind and given us both a second chance. And I knew right then that I was never going to let anything happen to you ever again. And I have no intentions of ever breaking that promise, Wesley.” Wesley looked at Joey silently, his eyes brimming with tears. “It wasn't just a promise to your grandfather. It was a promise to you.”
“But Joey…”
“You'll never convince me that I wasn't at least partially to blame for your suicide attempt. You learn in psych class that people don't commit suicide when they have connections to life. The connection between you and Raimi was gone, and your connection to me was so strained at the end.”
“Joey, attempting suicide was the most selfish thing I've ever done. I hurt everyone I knew. I wasn't thinking of anyone but myself. It never crossed my mind what I would be doing to you.”
“And it never crossed my mind that you might get to that point.”
“Joey.”
“Please, Wesley, try to understand. If you had died in that bathroom that day I would have died.”
Wesley opened his mouth to protest. He changed his mind. “I know, Joey. I'm sorry I hurt you.”
“I'm sorry I hurt you.” Wesley gave up and let a few stray tears fall. Joey kissed them away and held Wesley even closer to his body. “I love you, Wesley. And I will never break that promise. Never.”
“I know, Joey.” Wesley wiped away a few stubborn tears. “And I love you for that.”
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
< br> “Are you going to be coming back to the apartment before you have to go to art class?” Wesley and Joey were in the car, Wesley was just dropping Joey off at the car shop.
“No. I have to run a few errands, and then I was going to study at the library for a while.”
“You sure?”
“Yes. Why, you calling up someone to come visit you tonight?” Wesley's ten-foot smile flashed. “Which man tonight, Wesley?”
“Branton. I just couldn't resist. I miss him.” Joey rolled his eyes. “Jealous?”
“No. Besides, if things go well with Christian tonight last night may be the last time we sleep together for a while.”
“See, I'd knew you'd understand.” Wesley leaned over and gave Joey a kiss. “Good luck, tonight.”
“You too.” Joey opened the passenger side door. “And remember, be careful.”
“Always, there's enough lube and condoms for Branton and I to last quite a while.” Joey sighed and got out of the car.
Joey was always mystified that Wesley could let all his defenses down and be completely vulnerable. And the next morning it was as if nothing happened. Suddenly Wesley was back to being flirty and giggly. Maybe Wesley didn't show the passionate, sensitive side of himself anymore because he'd shown so much of it to Raimi, and that had ended badly. This new persona Wesley was cultivating was fun and bubbly and all smiles. Underneath the surface told a different story. Joey only hoped one day Wesley found someone else he could trust.
He wasn't going to spend another day dwelling on this.
It was Thursday, and Joey hadn't heard from any interviews. He was running out of time before Wesley went to his grandfather for money. He was running out of options. Where would he get money? There was really only one person who he could think of that had an abundant amount of money, and Joey really didn't look forward to having any contact with Scott Caspian.
Wesley's grandfather had done so much for both of them. He wasn't going to do this to him. He'd just have to swallow his pride and beg Caspian. After all, on Saturday, it seemed like Caspian's friendliness towards Joey had grown. If he was flirting with him maybe he'd be more receptive. What had he said? Something about Joey coming to him, right? So why wouldn't he say yes?
He found himself calling his cell phone. Scott picked up.
“Hello, JoJo.”
“Hi. I hate to bother you but I wanted to speak to you, ask you a favor. I wanted to do it in person, I was just wondering when you were free.”
“I'm free now.”
“Are you at Caspian Enterprises?”
“No, I'm working from home today.”
“Oh.”
“You can come by, JoJo. I'm just reviewing some contracts.” Joey thought about the statement for a moment. Maybe this would go better than he hoped. “Can I expect you by?”
“Yeah, I'll be there in about fifteen minutes.”
“See you then, Joey.” Joey? The heir rarely called him Joey. This was going to work…it was going to be okay.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
220;I was working upstairs in the bedroom,” Scott explained, leading Joey up the steps.
“Oh, okay.” Joey followed closely. “I'm not bothering you, am I?”
“Not yet.” Scott entered the room, closed the door and sat back at his desk. “Sit, please.” Joey did, sitting on a chair that was on the opposite side of the billionaire. He felt like he was in a bank asking for a loan. “I'm being a bad host, would you like anything?”
“Water.” Scott spun around in his swivel chair and opened a mini fridge, and pulled out a water bottle. He tossed it to him. “Thanks.” Joey opened the cap and took large gulps.
“Easy, Joey. Don't drown yourself.” Joey looked up into royal blue eyes, and placed the bottle back on the desk. “A little nervous?”
“A little.”
“I know I asked you on Saturday but how's school, how's the job hunt?”
“School's good, the job hunt, not so good.” Scott nodded. “The market's gone to shit.”
“You're telling me, JoJo.” Well, the “Joeys” couldn't last forever. “So what brings you by?”
“I wouldn't ask you this if you weren't my last option. Wesley wants to ask his grandfather, but we already owe him enough money we haven't paid back yet. I hate to do this, but I've gotten pretty desperate. The bills are piling up, tuition, credit cards, all the rest of it. I was wondering if you could loan me some money. I'd be willing to sign any contract, promissory note you want. I could even give you some kind of collateral. I have my great-grandfather's watch, it's worth a lot of money, I haven't sold it off because it's a family heirloom. But you could hold on to it, in case I default on the agreement. Your choice.”
Scott looked Joey in the eyes and tried not to smirk in sheer amusement. Joey could see it in his eyes though.
“Look, this is really hard for me.”
“Oh, I bet it is,” Scott retorted, arrogantly. Joey flinched in anger. His hate for Scott only continued to grow. “You've already made three fatal errors though, JoJo.” Joey tried not to narrow his eyes in contempt.
“Errors?” he asked, his throat dry. He took some more of the water.
“Good thing you didn't major in business.” Joey forced his face to remain placid. “One, you never let your opponent know you're afraid. Now of course I could smell your fear the second you came by, but to openly admit you were nervous was a mistake.” Joey's fist tightened at his side. “Second mistake, of course, was that you let me know that you were completely vulnerable. I'm your last hope. You're desperate for the money. It puts you on a lower level, automatically giving me control over the entire situation.” Joey sighed hard. “Your final mistake was that you let it be known that you already owe another party money that you haven't returned. Now if I were smart I'd never dream of giving you anything. Would I, JoJo?”
“I'm sorry I wasted your time, Caspian.” Joey moved to stand up.
“Sit. I never said I wasn't going to help you. Did I?” Joey glanced at Scott for a moment and sat down. Of course, in classic Caspian fashion, he would rub Joey's desperation into his face just because he could. “I think we can work out an arrangement.”
Joey swallowed.
“Remember what I told you, Saturday, JoJo. I told you you could always ask me if you needed anything.” Joey's eyes did narrow at that. He remembered the entire conversation vividly. Scott shifting on the couch so that his leg was rubbing his. And then Scott's hand brushing his knee. That look in his eyes.
“I wouldn't need very much. Just a little to tide us over. I'm more than willing to sign a contract and give you the watch.”
“I don't want a watch.” Joey's eyes narrowed again. “I have no intention of loaning you any money, JoJo. I know I'll never see it again.”
“I don't understand. What are you going to do, give me a job?”
“Something like that.” Joey was beginning to feel uncomfortable, more uncomfortable than he had felt on Saturday, all his instincts were telling him to make a run for it. “I'll write you a check for the money, and we can consider it a gift.” Joey's eyes met in a frown. “I'd thought you'd be happy.”
“Where's the catch?”
“Aww, JoJo, and here I thought you had that whole dumb blond thing going for you.” Joey gave Scott a nasty look. “You're right to wonder where the catch is. I'm a businessman, not a philanthropist.”
“I don't understand.”
“We both have something the other one wants. And once I get what I want you can have the check.” Joey froze as he watched Scott pull out his checkbook. What an idiot he had been. Why didn't he realize what Scott was thinking as soon as he said that they'd make it a gift? Oh god.
“You're not talking about…you're not serious. This is some kind of sick joke.”
“What's a sick joke, JoJo? Just what is it you think I want from you?” There was the Scott Caspian smirk. Scott was practically raping him with the look on his face, the flickering of desire in his ice blue eyes.
“You're a bastard.”
“And I do it so well, too.” Joey cringed. Scott smiled.
“You may go running around fucking your assistants and random gym bunnies but I'll be damned if I'm going to be a party to it.”
“Desperate times call for desperate measures, JoJo.”
“FUCK YOU!” Scott laughed. “I always knew you were a prick, but this much of an asshole, I had no idea. How do you live with yourself?”
“Quite easily.”
“What about Raimi?”
“What about him? You've never much liked Raimi. You've never made a move to hide that fact.”
“Don't you love him? Doesn't he satisfy you?”
“I like to fuck, Joey. Plain and simple. It's not about love. I certainly don't love you. I don't even like you very much.”
“You knew if I came to ask you for a loan you'd spring this on me. You were plotting this, as soon as you found out I lost my job you thought about it.”
“You make it sound so malicious.”
“I hate you. I truly hate you. You used all my vulnerability against me.”
“Oh, JoJo just stop it. If you took a moment to think about the situation with a clear head you'd see that this really isn't as bad as you make it out to be.” Scott handed Joey the check. Joey looked at it. It was nearly triple the amount Joey was planning on asking to borrow. In the note section of the personal check was the word “gift”.
“I don't want your money. I'm not going to prostitute myself.”
“Prostitutes aren't paid this well.” Joey dropped the check back on the table. “Don't say no on principle.”
“Do you hear yourself?”
“You need the money. You don't want to borrow anymore from Wesley's grandfather, chances are good you're not going to have a job by the time the bill collectors start really getting on your case.”
“The answer is no. You're a bastard for even asking me.”
“I don't deny that. I also don't deny using your weakness and vulnerability to my own advantage. But a part of you has considered it, Joey.”
“Not even in your dreams.”
“If you didn't consider it you would have stormed out of here in a heartbeat. You're lingering behind because a part of you knows this is the answer to your financial problems.” Joey wanted to puke.
You don't have to be ashamed about you and Wesley's situation. It happens all the time. I know you take care of Wesley, I just don't want your pride to get in the way of you finding a solution for your financial problem.” Scott's words from Saturday.
”I don't believe how cruel you are.”
“I'd think you'd be flattered, Joey.”
“Delusional too, I see.”
“As you so eloquently suggested before, I have my pick of all the young office assistants and gym bunnies in Frenchtown. And here I am, propositioning you. I'd be thrilled, not everyone gets to say they had the privilege of having Scott Caspian fuck them.”
“You're disgusting. Truly disgusting.”
“What are you going to tell Wesley when you go back home? You're going to have to let him see his grandfather, won't you?”
“You keep Wesley out of this.”
“It would only be this one time, Joey. Unless you'd want to make this a regular thing.” Joey's look was deadly. “Nobody would ever know. I certainly couldn't tell anyone about this. And I'm sure you wouldn't either.”
“Why me? What attracts you?”
“I've always wanted to go slumming.” Joey looked away, anger boiling out of control. “And I always had a soft spot for blonds with cute asses.”
“You've actually checked me out,” Joey asked, repulsed.
“Many times. You and I are a lot a like, JoJo. You're just as headstrong as I am. You wouldn't believe how desirable it is to imagine knocking you down a notch, watch you panting and making little noises while I pound the shit of you.” Joey shifted.
The answer was no. It would always be no. He would never do this. There was no way he would…he was so confused…why was he still sitting in the chair…had Scott been right…had he considered it…it would only be one time…then he'd never have to touch that prick again…
NO. NO. NO. It was wrong. It wasn't that he had always been in love with people he had slept with. And it wasn't that Scott wasn't attractive. But god, this was disgusting, if he did this he'd contradict everything he had ever told Wesley. Wesley…they needed the money, his best friend had dipped so much into his savings…Why was this happening to him…
“One time.” Scott stood up and walked over to where Joey was still sitting. “No one will ever know.”
“Caspian…”
“It's Scott.” Scott leaned over and captured Joey's lips. Joey panicked, and pushed Scott away. “I won't hurt you, Joey.”
“I can't do this…please, just let me borrow the money. You can charge me 50 percent interest if you want.”
“All I want is you.” Scott's voice was already retaining a husky quality. Joey could see the bulge in Scott's pants. Scott bent down. “It won't be so bad.”
“Anything else, Scott. Please.” Scott stroked Joey's cheek.
“Joey, these are the terms. You'll get into it.” Joey said nothing as he let Scott kiss him again, this time he didn't fight it. The kiss was hungry on Scott's end, barely responsive on Joey's side.
Do this for Wesley. He'd do this for you. Pretend it's Christian. Make him come as quick as possible and take the money.
“Let's move this to the bed,” Scott decided with a smile. Joey nodded.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
S cott got back off his bed and pulled on a pair of silk boxers. Joey remained still, propped up on a pile of pillows. He had been strong. He hadn't cried, he hadn't fallen. He had done what he had to. Scott hadn't been rough with him, once Joey let himself go, and completely submitted things went okay. He hadn't wanted to come, coming would justify what Scott and he had done. But Scott wanted to see Joey receiving pleasure, so he had.
The sex had been all instinct. Joey's mind wandered to thoughts of that beautiful human being he had met in the art class. Was Christian like this? Was he chasing after a dream? No. He had known Scott was a retched human being the first time they met. He felt nothing negative in Christian. It hadn't been that bad, pretending Scott was his dream lover. He had actually thought Scott would be nastier about it, but is seemed Scott was kind enough to be gentle.
That's what made it all worse. Had Scott been aggressive and cruel about it Joey could chalk the entire incident up to a business transaction. But no, Scott practically doted on him, taking his time, which made it last longer and made Joey's emotions spike. He hated his body, he cursed his heart. He had enjoyed it, on some level. He had wanted to come in Scott's fist, he had let out little moans, he had let this happen to him. Part of it was because he was thinking about Christian. And part of it was because he was sleeping with Scott Caspian.
“JoJo,” Scott remarked, slipping on his shirt, “You can put your clothes back on now.”
Joey blinked back tears and slipped off the bed. He found his clothes and redressed himself. Scott had been wrong earlier. He had said that nobody would ever know about this afternoon. But Joey would know.
How would he be able to live with himself after this?
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
Joe y was sure that his melancholy was showing in his body language as he arrived home. He hadn't shed a tear. And he was planning on keeping it that way. He went to the bank holding the check in his fingers like it were death itself. Part of him wanted to rip the offensive document up into a million shreds. But he didn't. He couldn't. Ripping the check meant that he had slept with Scott in vain. Of course depositing it meant that he was a highly paid escort.
He'd never sleep with Scott voluntarily, so he forced himself to go to the bank.
“Joey, you're home? I was just about to call, Branton.” Wesley and Joey met eyes.
“I needed to take a shower,” Joey mumbled walking from the room. Wesley frowned and followed Joey into his bedroom.
“What's wrong, Joey? You look upset.” Joey turned and looked at his best friend, Wesley's fears confirmed. “What is it?”
“Can I ask you a question?” Wesley nodded. “You love me don't you?”
“Of course, Babe.”
“Why aren't we together?”
“What?”
“I love you, you love me, I've asked you to be with me on more than one occasion and you've turned me down. Why am I not good enough for you? Why are we still friends?”
“Joey, where is this coming from? What are you talking about?”
“You tell me you love me, but you run back to your other guys, why am I only a safe guy? A fuck buddy? Why am I not enough?”
“Joey, no, you're more than enough. This isn't about you, it's about me.”
“Bullshit. If this wasn't about me you wouldn't be about to call Branton.” Joey and Wesley met eyes.
“No. Damn it, Joey. Listen to me, I'm not boyfriend material. I'm not capable of having a committed relationship. I'm a mess, Joey. I run to these other guys because things are too good with you. If we ever got together I'd hurt you, Joey. Not that I couldn't be faithful, but I could never love you the same way you'd love me. I could never give you a hundred percent of myself, I can't give anyone that. I got close a year ago, Joey, and all I got left with was pain. My heart's still tied to Raimi, no matter what I do to fight it.”
“Wesley…”
“I can't be with you because I can barely be with myself. On the outside I'm fun and exciting, inside I'm falling apart. I'm still unglued because of him, I'm still hurting. There's not a day I wake up not feeling some kind of emptiness. You've filled so much of my emptiness with your love and understanding, but there's still a hole left, Joey. A hole that's keeping me from being with you.” Wesley looked at Joey desperately. “Tell me you understand this?”
Joey thought about it for a moment. He nodded. “You love me, you promise?”
“Yes, and that is why we can't be together. If I threw myself into a relationship with you I couldn't say I really loved you. Joey, I want you to be with someone who's madly in love with you, someone who aches to be with you. I dream you'll find someone to love that way in return. You don't know how much I wish that person was me. But I'm not going to let you wait for me to get it together, Joey. You deserve to be happy now.”
Joey met light brown eyes. His own amber orbs softened. “I'm sorry, Wesley, I just…”
“There is nothing to explain.” Wesley hugged him. Joey sighed into the embrace. He hadn't been fair to Wesley throwing this all on him. He supposed he just needed validation. He needed to know that Wesley's love was unconditional, that he had slept with Scott for a good reason. “Are you okay now, Joey?”
“Yeah, I just had a bad day, that's all.” Wesley smiled up at him. “Promise me something?”
“Anything, Babe.”
“If when we're 27, and neither of us are with someone else, you'll marry me.”
“Joey?”
“Promise me.” Wesley nodded.
“I promise, I'll marry you if we're both single at age 27.” Joey smiled a little. It was strained, but it was a smile. “Only if you promise to be the bride.”
“No.” Wesley giggled. “You have a way of ruining a moment.” Wesley stuck his tongue out at Joey and agreed.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
C lass dragged; when it was finally over Joey slipped back on his robe and headed for the bathroom to change, not acknowledging Christian as he called after him.
He didn't want to see Christian anymore. He didn't want to see anyone. Wesley and his conversation had only eased his mind and heart a little. Wesley had told Joey he'd cancel his plans with Branton, but Joey hadn't let him and had left to go study. He hadn't been able to concentrate, and now with Christian around…the situation was only getting worse.
“Joey, what's wrong?” Christian caught the door as Joey was just ducking into a stall.
“Nothing, I just have to get going.” Joey locked the door behind himself.
“At the risk of sounding vain, does this have something to do with me?”
“No. I just have to study. I have an exam coming up.” Christian sighed silently.
“I guess I'll see you later then.”
“Yeah.” Christian walked over to the door and opened it, then let it close. Joey opened the stall and jumped when he saw Christian still standing in the bathroom. “What are you still doing here?”
“What's wrong, Joey?” Joey shook his head. “Don't tell me it's nothing or it's an exam. I'm not going to buy it. What happened?” Joey shook his head again. Go, damn it, Christian…please, just leave. “Tell me, maybe I can help you.” Christian took a step forward, Joey stepped back. They continued their stepping game until Joey hit a wall.
Christian closed the distance between them.
“You look like someone hurt you, Joey.” Christian's voice was soft. “Let me help you.”
“No.” Christian didn't give up that easily.
“What is it going to take for me to get you to say yes?”
“What is it you want, Christian? Guys like you don't go for guys like me.”
“I resent being told who it is I do and don't go for. Especially since you won't give me a chance to get to know you.”
“Get to know me?”
“Come out with me tomorrow night.” Joey's heart jumped.
“Christian…”
“I won't settle for anything less than a “hells yes”.” Joey smiled. “There we go, there's that smile that's been playing itself over and over again in my mind.” Joey felt himself grow warm. “This is probably going to kill the mood here, but after Tuesday night, I just couldn't stop thinking about you. I had my cell phone in my hand, hoping you'd call me for a good hour.”
“Really?”
Christian smiled. “Yes, really.” Joey smiled again. “I know almost nothing about you, yet I find myself infatuated.” Christian leaned in, and finished the rest of his thought in Joey's ear, whispering it in smooth breaths. “I'm terrified of this…but I can't walk away.”
“I just…I'm so afraid.”
“Your last relationship ended horrifically, right?” Joey nodded. “But despite all that, you took a chance and went for it anyway.” Joey nodded again. “After you take away all the bad stuff, at some point taking that leap of faith was worth it.”
“I don't know.”
“Well, think of it as fate, then Joey. Maybe you had to meet him because he was essential to you meeting me.” Joey smirked. “Okay, that sounded really cocky, but you get the point. Fate will only take you so far, you have to do some of the work.”
“You believe that, Christian?”
“I've always lived my life with one philosophy. You can't measure life by the number of breaths you take, you have to measure it by the number of moments that take your breath away.”
And then Christian took Joey's breath away as he leaned in and kissed him.
It was the sweetest kiss Joey had ever felt, the way Christian's lips pressed into his, so faintly they were caressing him. Christian held Joey's face in his palms, as the kiss grew deeper. Joey felt Christian's tongue massage his, he tasted Christian, breathed in his scent. Everything about Christian was beautiful. His eyes, his smile, the way he felt.
As Christian continued, Joey felt his fears subsiding, he felt okay again. He felt passion…he felt desire… Christian felt it too, as he removed one hand from Joey's cheek only to press it into the wall to steady himself. Joey could feel his heart pounding in his throat he could feel warmth and love and wonder… he was falling…really falling…all his old defenses were melting away….
Joey moaned as the kiss broke. He was stunned for a moment, barely opening his eyes back up.
“I shouldn't have done that without asking you first, Joey.” Joey shook his head no.
“I needed that,” he whispered, looking into gorgeous hazel eyes.
“I think I might need you.” Joey blushed. “I'm falling for you, Joey. I've never felt like this before.”
Author's Endnotes: What a chapter. What a mess. Scott Caspian, what a bastard…I hated doing this to my favorite blond JoJo, but it's very essential to the plot. Actually from the beginning I knew that something like this would have to happen. I had the idea for that little bit of dialogue for the longest, “You can put your clothes back on now.” Talk about squeezing lemon juice into the wound. Next chapter's filled with fluff I swear. Anyway, please review.
Wesley clung onto Joey, contently.
“Better?” Joey asked, still breathing hard.
“Yeah. You always know how to make me forget the bad dreams.” Joey kissed the scar softly. “We have to pick up your car from the shop tomorrow.”
“Um hum.”
“So who were you pretending I was this time?” Wesley teased, with a yawn.
“Why did I call out the name Christian or something?” Wesley quirked an eyebrow.
“Who's Christian?”
“The brunet who gave me his phone number from that art class.”
“Wait, the cute brunet guy you were talking about, Joey?” Wesley asked with a smile.
“Yeah. That cute brunet guy.”
“I can't believe you got his number! Go you!”
“I just…he's…this isn't going to work, Wesley. He's too perfect.”
“Well, how do you feel when you speak to him?” Joey and Wesley met eyes. “Well?”
“I get this feeling…”
“A feeling is good. You know what I always say, Babe. You should never settle for anything less than butterflies.”
“Yeah, well I got butterflies, alright. I have a swarm of them. We talked last night on the phone for a while, but he said he had to get up early for work so we cut it short. I can't wait until tomorrow night. I'm hoping he asks me out.”
“He'd be a fool not to.”
“Not everyone likes blonds, Wes.”
“I do.” Joey snorted. “What was that for?”
“You like anything. Bald, green, purple.” Wesley rolled his eyes. “Well, I met a cocky platinum haired asshole in the class, got his number. You're welcome to have it.”
“Ooh, another boy to add to the pile. Is he hot?”
“Yeah, he's hot. But he's a jerk.”
“I love assholes, pun intended, you know me.”
“Yeah, half of Frenchtown knows you.” Wesley laughed.
“Well, one of us has to be the responsible one, Joey. And one of us has to be the slut.” Joey sighed, his head shaking. “What's his name?”
“Mario.”
“Do I know him?”
“Maybe. He's a friend of Ryan's.”
“Ryan?”
“Branton's ex. The light blond. Quiet.” Wesley nodded, suddenly remembering.
“Hum, that reminds me, I haven't played with Branton in a while. I miss him.” Joey ignored the comment. “I wonder if I know Mario, probably seen him at a party or something before.”
“Probably.”
“Raimi called today, he wanted to confirm our attendance at his birthday party. He said he knew we RSVPed but he didn't want to take any chances because Caspian had invited some of his business associates.”
Joey idly wondered how many people invited had slept with Scott. He was convinced he was having numerous affairs. Just today at the supermarket, one of Frenchtown's biggest rumor mills, Joey overheard two guys talking about a friend of theirs that had been with Caspian while picking out apples. It was true, he could be wrong about it, but he had a gut instinct, and his instincts were rarely wrong.
“What do you want to get Raimi for his birthday?” Wesley asked, ending Joey's train of thought.
“Nothing. I don't like pretending to like him. He and his creep boyfriend.”
“I thought you said you didn't hate Raimi.”
“I don't hate him, but I certainly dislike him immensely. Caspian and Raimi know how I feel about them, I can't imagine having to suffer another night with them.”
“You've always been trying to fight my battles for me, Joey. You have no reason to have beef with them. My issues with them should not be your issues.”
“Your issues are my issues, Wes. And like I already said, I have my own reasons for disliking them.”
“It's not Raimi's fault this happened, Joey.” Wesley showed Joey his wrist. “It's my fault.”
“Bullshit.”
“It wasn't even about wanting to die, Joey. I just wanted the pain to end. I was devastated about Raimi, and it hurt so much, so I did it. It was stupid of me.”
“Raimi caused that pain, Wesley. You and I both know that.”
“There was no way he could have known I was going to react the way I did. You didn't even know.”
“That's because I was being a bad friend. I admit that. Raimi's never once admitted his part in it.”
“Neither of you had a part in it, Joey. My decisions have always been my decisions, you can't stay angry at someone for something I'm telling you he didn't do.”
“Wesley…”
“Joey, let's just change the subject, obviously the suicide attempt has been on both of our minds a lot today.”
“Being broke has been on my mind too, Wes.”
“Well, tomorrow's Thursday and unless some kind of miracle happens I'm going to Grandpa.”
“No, Wesley.”
“We had a deal.”
“Wesley, I…we can't.”
“Joey, I'm going to him, and that's that. Stop being so stubborn.”
“Did I ever tell you the conversation your grandfather and I had, Wes? Did I ever tell you what he said to me that day in the hospital?” Wesley shook his head no. Joey and him met eyes.
“Joey…”
“No, it's about time you hear this. Maybe then you'll understand why I'm being so stubborn about this.” Wesley sighed, hating to have to hear anything else concerning the events from over a year a go.
“You were sleeping in your room, your grandfather and I were standing out in the hallway, talking. Your grandfather lamented about not knowing who you were anymore. I had to admit that I had also become a stranger in your life. Your grandfather was practically in tears as he thought about how close you had been to dying alone, and how lucky you were to have me. I was nearly in hysterics when he said that. Lucky? I had been an absentee friend for months, I was so concerned with my own life that I ignored you constantly, if I had been the best friend I was supposed to be you would have never gotten to that point…”
“Joey, that's not true…”
“I have to finish this, Wesley. Your grandfather said he worried about you, that you could try this again, or that you would resist his help. He said that he was getting older, that he couldn't be there for you like he used to be. And that's when I promised him that I would always take care of you for him. I had so much to repent; so much to pay for…fate had been kind and given us both a second chance. And I knew right then that I was never going to let anything happen to you ever again. And I have no intentions of ever breaking that promise, Wesley.” Wesley looked at Joey silently, his eyes brimming with tears. “It wasn't just a promise to your grandfather. It was a promise to you.”
“But Joey…”
“You'll never convince me that I wasn't at least partially to blame for your suicide attempt. You learn in psych class that people don't commit suicide when they have connections to life. The connection between you and Raimi was gone, and your connection to me was so strained at the end.”
“Joey, attempting suicide was the most selfish thing I've ever done. I hurt everyone I knew. I wasn't thinking of anyone but myself. It never crossed my mind what I would be doing to you.”
“And it never crossed my mind that you might get to that point.”
“Joey.”
“Please, Wesley, try to understand. If you had died in that bathroom that day I would have died.”
Wesley opened his mouth to protest. He changed his mind. “I know, Joey. I'm sorry I hurt you.”
“I'm sorry I hurt you.” Wesley gave up and let a few stray tears fall. Joey kissed them away and held Wesley even closer to his body. “I love you, Wesley. And I will never break that promise. Never.”
“I know, Joey.” Wesley wiped away a few stubborn tears. “And I love you for that.”
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
< br> “Are you going to be coming back to the apartment before you have to go to art class?” Wesley and Joey were in the car, Wesley was just dropping Joey off at the car shop.
“No. I have to run a few errands, and then I was going to study at the library for a while.”
“You sure?”
“Yes. Why, you calling up someone to come visit you tonight?” Wesley's ten-foot smile flashed. “Which man tonight, Wesley?”
“Branton. I just couldn't resist. I miss him.” Joey rolled his eyes. “Jealous?”
“No. Besides, if things go well with Christian tonight last night may be the last time we sleep together for a while.”
“See, I'd knew you'd understand.” Wesley leaned over and gave Joey a kiss. “Good luck, tonight.”
“You too.” Joey opened the passenger side door. “And remember, be careful.”
“Always, there's enough lube and condoms for Branton and I to last quite a while.” Joey sighed and got out of the car.
Joey was always mystified that Wesley could let all his defenses down and be completely vulnerable. And the next morning it was as if nothing happened. Suddenly Wesley was back to being flirty and giggly. Maybe Wesley didn't show the passionate, sensitive side of himself anymore because he'd shown so much of it to Raimi, and that had ended badly. This new persona Wesley was cultivating was fun and bubbly and all smiles. Underneath the surface told a different story. Joey only hoped one day Wesley found someone else he could trust.
He wasn't going to spend another day dwelling on this.
It was Thursday, and Joey hadn't heard from any interviews. He was running out of time before Wesley went to his grandfather for money. He was running out of options. Where would he get money? There was really only one person who he could think of that had an abundant amount of money, and Joey really didn't look forward to having any contact with Scott Caspian.
Wesley's grandfather had done so much for both of them. He wasn't going to do this to him. He'd just have to swallow his pride and beg Caspian. After all, on Saturday, it seemed like Caspian's friendliness towards Joey had grown. If he was flirting with him maybe he'd be more receptive. What had he said? Something about Joey coming to him, right? So why wouldn't he say yes?
He found himself calling his cell phone. Scott picked up.
“Hello, JoJo.”
“Hi. I hate to bother you but I wanted to speak to you, ask you a favor. I wanted to do it in person, I was just wondering when you were free.”
“I'm free now.”
“Are you at Caspian Enterprises?”
“No, I'm working from home today.”
“Oh.”
“You can come by, JoJo. I'm just reviewing some contracts.” Joey thought about the statement for a moment. Maybe this would go better than he hoped. “Can I expect you by?”
“Yeah, I'll be there in about fifteen minutes.”
“See you then, Joey.” Joey? The heir rarely called him Joey. This was going to work…it was going to be okay.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
220;I was working upstairs in the bedroom,” Scott explained, leading Joey up the steps.
“Oh, okay.” Joey followed closely. “I'm not bothering you, am I?”
“Not yet.” Scott entered the room, closed the door and sat back at his desk. “Sit, please.” Joey did, sitting on a chair that was on the opposite side of the billionaire. He felt like he was in a bank asking for a loan. “I'm being a bad host, would you like anything?”
“Water.” Scott spun around in his swivel chair and opened a mini fridge, and pulled out a water bottle. He tossed it to him. “Thanks.” Joey opened the cap and took large gulps.
“Easy, Joey. Don't drown yourself.” Joey looked up into royal blue eyes, and placed the bottle back on the desk. “A little nervous?”
“A little.”
“I know I asked you on Saturday but how's school, how's the job hunt?”
“School's good, the job hunt, not so good.” Scott nodded. “The market's gone to shit.”
“You're telling me, JoJo.” Well, the “Joeys” couldn't last forever. “So what brings you by?”
“I wouldn't ask you this if you weren't my last option. Wesley wants to ask his grandfather, but we already owe him enough money we haven't paid back yet. I hate to do this, but I've gotten pretty desperate. The bills are piling up, tuition, credit cards, all the rest of it. I was wondering if you could loan me some money. I'd be willing to sign any contract, promissory note you want. I could even give you some kind of collateral. I have my great-grandfather's watch, it's worth a lot of money, I haven't sold it off because it's a family heirloom. But you could hold on to it, in case I default on the agreement. Your choice.”
Scott looked Joey in the eyes and tried not to smirk in sheer amusement. Joey could see it in his eyes though.
“Look, this is really hard for me.”
“Oh, I bet it is,” Scott retorted, arrogantly. Joey flinched in anger. His hate for Scott only continued to grow. “You've already made three fatal errors though, JoJo.” Joey tried not to narrow his eyes in contempt.
“Errors?” he asked, his throat dry. He took some more of the water.
“Good thing you didn't major in business.” Joey forced his face to remain placid. “One, you never let your opponent know you're afraid. Now of course I could smell your fear the second you came by, but to openly admit you were nervous was a mistake.” Joey's fist tightened at his side. “Second mistake, of course, was that you let me know that you were completely vulnerable. I'm your last hope. You're desperate for the money. It puts you on a lower level, automatically giving me control over the entire situation.” Joey sighed hard. “Your final mistake was that you let it be known that you already owe another party money that you haven't returned. Now if I were smart I'd never dream of giving you anything. Would I, JoJo?”
“I'm sorry I wasted your time, Caspian.” Joey moved to stand up.
“Sit. I never said I wasn't going to help you. Did I?” Joey glanced at Scott for a moment and sat down. Of course, in classic Caspian fashion, he would rub Joey's desperation into his face just because he could. “I think we can work out an arrangement.”
Joey swallowed.
“Remember what I told you, Saturday, JoJo. I told you you could always ask me if you needed anything.” Joey's eyes did narrow at that. He remembered the entire conversation vividly. Scott shifting on the couch so that his leg was rubbing his. And then Scott's hand brushing his knee. That look in his eyes.
“I wouldn't need very much. Just a little to tide us over. I'm more than willing to sign a contract and give you the watch.”
“I don't want a watch.” Joey's eyes narrowed again. “I have no intention of loaning you any money, JoJo. I know I'll never see it again.”
“I don't understand. What are you going to do, give me a job?”
“Something like that.” Joey was beginning to feel uncomfortable, more uncomfortable than he had felt on Saturday, all his instincts were telling him to make a run for it. “I'll write you a check for the money, and we can consider it a gift.” Joey's eyes met in a frown. “I'd thought you'd be happy.”
“Where's the catch?”
“Aww, JoJo, and here I thought you had that whole dumb blond thing going for you.” Joey gave Scott a nasty look. “You're right to wonder where the catch is. I'm a businessman, not a philanthropist.”
“I don't understand.”
“We both have something the other one wants. And once I get what I want you can have the check.” Joey froze as he watched Scott pull out his checkbook. What an idiot he had been. Why didn't he realize what Scott was thinking as soon as he said that they'd make it a gift? Oh god.
“You're not talking about…you're not serious. This is some kind of sick joke.”
“What's a sick joke, JoJo? Just what is it you think I want from you?” There was the Scott Caspian smirk. Scott was practically raping him with the look on his face, the flickering of desire in his ice blue eyes.
“You're a bastard.”
“And I do it so well, too.” Joey cringed. Scott smiled.
“You may go running around fucking your assistants and random gym bunnies but I'll be damned if I'm going to be a party to it.”
“Desperate times call for desperate measures, JoJo.”
“FUCK YOU!” Scott laughed. “I always knew you were a prick, but this much of an asshole, I had no idea. How do you live with yourself?”
“Quite easily.”
“What about Raimi?”
“What about him? You've never much liked Raimi. You've never made a move to hide that fact.”
“Don't you love him? Doesn't he satisfy you?”
“I like to fuck, Joey. Plain and simple. It's not about love. I certainly don't love you. I don't even like you very much.”
“You knew if I came to ask you for a loan you'd spring this on me. You were plotting this, as soon as you found out I lost my job you thought about it.”
“You make it sound so malicious.”
“I hate you. I truly hate you. You used all my vulnerability against me.”
“Oh, JoJo just stop it. If you took a moment to think about the situation with a clear head you'd see that this really isn't as bad as you make it out to be.” Scott handed Joey the check. Joey looked at it. It was nearly triple the amount Joey was planning on asking to borrow. In the note section of the personal check was the word “gift”.
“I don't want your money. I'm not going to prostitute myself.”
“Prostitutes aren't paid this well.” Joey dropped the check back on the table. “Don't say no on principle.”
“Do you hear yourself?”
“You need the money. You don't want to borrow anymore from Wesley's grandfather, chances are good you're not going to have a job by the time the bill collectors start really getting on your case.”
“The answer is no. You're a bastard for even asking me.”
“I don't deny that. I also don't deny using your weakness and vulnerability to my own advantage. But a part of you has considered it, Joey.”
“Not even in your dreams.”
“If you didn't consider it you would have stormed out of here in a heartbeat. You're lingering behind because a part of you knows this is the answer to your financial problems.” Joey wanted to puke.
You don't have to be ashamed about you and Wesley's situation. It happens all the time. I know you take care of Wesley, I just don't want your pride to get in the way of you finding a solution for your financial problem.” Scott's words from Saturday.
”I don't believe how cruel you are.”
“I'd think you'd be flattered, Joey.”
“Delusional too, I see.”
“As you so eloquently suggested before, I have my pick of all the young office assistants and gym bunnies in Frenchtown. And here I am, propositioning you. I'd be thrilled, not everyone gets to say they had the privilege of having Scott Caspian fuck them.”
“You're disgusting. Truly disgusting.”
“What are you going to tell Wesley when you go back home? You're going to have to let him see his grandfather, won't you?”
“You keep Wesley out of this.”
“It would only be this one time, Joey. Unless you'd want to make this a regular thing.” Joey's look was deadly. “Nobody would ever know. I certainly couldn't tell anyone about this. And I'm sure you wouldn't either.”
“Why me? What attracts you?”
“I've always wanted to go slumming.” Joey looked away, anger boiling out of control. “And I always had a soft spot for blonds with cute asses.”
“You've actually checked me out,” Joey asked, repulsed.
“Many times. You and I are a lot a like, JoJo. You're just as headstrong as I am. You wouldn't believe how desirable it is to imagine knocking you down a notch, watch you panting and making little noises while I pound the shit of you.” Joey shifted.
The answer was no. It would always be no. He would never do this. There was no way he would…he was so confused…why was he still sitting in the chair…had Scott been right…had he considered it…it would only be one time…then he'd never have to touch that prick again…
NO. NO. NO. It was wrong. It wasn't that he had always been in love with people he had slept with. And it wasn't that Scott wasn't attractive. But god, this was disgusting, if he did this he'd contradict everything he had ever told Wesley. Wesley…they needed the money, his best friend had dipped so much into his savings…Why was this happening to him…
“One time.” Scott stood up and walked over to where Joey was still sitting. “No one will ever know.”
“Caspian…”
“It's Scott.” Scott leaned over and captured Joey's lips. Joey panicked, and pushed Scott away. “I won't hurt you, Joey.”
“I can't do this…please, just let me borrow the money. You can charge me 50 percent interest if you want.”
“All I want is you.” Scott's voice was already retaining a husky quality. Joey could see the bulge in Scott's pants. Scott bent down. “It won't be so bad.”
“Anything else, Scott. Please.” Scott stroked Joey's cheek.
“Joey, these are the terms. You'll get into it.” Joey said nothing as he let Scott kiss him again, this time he didn't fight it. The kiss was hungry on Scott's end, barely responsive on Joey's side.
Do this for Wesley. He'd do this for you. Pretend it's Christian. Make him come as quick as possible and take the money.
“Let's move this to the bed,” Scott decided with a smile. Joey nodded.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
S cott got back off his bed and pulled on a pair of silk boxers. Joey remained still, propped up on a pile of pillows. He had been strong. He hadn't cried, he hadn't fallen. He had done what he had to. Scott hadn't been rough with him, once Joey let himself go, and completely submitted things went okay. He hadn't wanted to come, coming would justify what Scott and he had done. But Scott wanted to see Joey receiving pleasure, so he had.
The sex had been all instinct. Joey's mind wandered to thoughts of that beautiful human being he had met in the art class. Was Christian like this? Was he chasing after a dream? No. He had known Scott was a retched human being the first time they met. He felt nothing negative in Christian. It hadn't been that bad, pretending Scott was his dream lover. He had actually thought Scott would be nastier about it, but is seemed Scott was kind enough to be gentle.
That's what made it all worse. Had Scott been aggressive and cruel about it Joey could chalk the entire incident up to a business transaction. But no, Scott practically doted on him, taking his time, which made it last longer and made Joey's emotions spike. He hated his body, he cursed his heart. He had enjoyed it, on some level. He had wanted to come in Scott's fist, he had let out little moans, he had let this happen to him. Part of it was because he was thinking about Christian. And part of it was because he was sleeping with Scott Caspian.
“JoJo,” Scott remarked, slipping on his shirt, “You can put your clothes back on now.”
Joey blinked back tears and slipped off the bed. He found his clothes and redressed himself. Scott had been wrong earlier. He had said that nobody would ever know about this afternoon. But Joey would know.
How would he be able to live with himself after this?
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
Joe y was sure that his melancholy was showing in his body language as he arrived home. He hadn't shed a tear. And he was planning on keeping it that way. He went to the bank holding the check in his fingers like it were death itself. Part of him wanted to rip the offensive document up into a million shreds. But he didn't. He couldn't. Ripping the check meant that he had slept with Scott in vain. Of course depositing it meant that he was a highly paid escort.
He'd never sleep with Scott voluntarily, so he forced himself to go to the bank.
“Joey, you're home? I was just about to call, Branton.” Wesley and Joey met eyes.
“I needed to take a shower,” Joey mumbled walking from the room. Wesley frowned and followed Joey into his bedroom.
“What's wrong, Joey? You look upset.” Joey turned and looked at his best friend, Wesley's fears confirmed. “What is it?”
“Can I ask you a question?” Wesley nodded. “You love me don't you?”
“Of course, Babe.”
“Why aren't we together?”
“What?”
“I love you, you love me, I've asked you to be with me on more than one occasion and you've turned me down. Why am I not good enough for you? Why are we still friends?”
“Joey, where is this coming from? What are you talking about?”
“You tell me you love me, but you run back to your other guys, why am I only a safe guy? A fuck buddy? Why am I not enough?”
“Joey, no, you're more than enough. This isn't about you, it's about me.”
“Bullshit. If this wasn't about me you wouldn't be about to call Branton.” Joey and Wesley met eyes.
“No. Damn it, Joey. Listen to me, I'm not boyfriend material. I'm not capable of having a committed relationship. I'm a mess, Joey. I run to these other guys because things are too good with you. If we ever got together I'd hurt you, Joey. Not that I couldn't be faithful, but I could never love you the same way you'd love me. I could never give you a hundred percent of myself, I can't give anyone that. I got close a year ago, Joey, and all I got left with was pain. My heart's still tied to Raimi, no matter what I do to fight it.”
“Wesley…”
“I can't be with you because I can barely be with myself. On the outside I'm fun and exciting, inside I'm falling apart. I'm still unglued because of him, I'm still hurting. There's not a day I wake up not feeling some kind of emptiness. You've filled so much of my emptiness with your love and understanding, but there's still a hole left, Joey. A hole that's keeping me from being with you.” Wesley looked at Joey desperately. “Tell me you understand this?”
Joey thought about it for a moment. He nodded. “You love me, you promise?”
“Yes, and that is why we can't be together. If I threw myself into a relationship with you I couldn't say I really loved you. Joey, I want you to be with someone who's madly in love with you, someone who aches to be with you. I dream you'll find someone to love that way in return. You don't know how much I wish that person was me. But I'm not going to let you wait for me to get it together, Joey. You deserve to be happy now.”
Joey met light brown eyes. His own amber orbs softened. “I'm sorry, Wesley, I just…”
“There is nothing to explain.” Wesley hugged him. Joey sighed into the embrace. He hadn't been fair to Wesley throwing this all on him. He supposed he just needed validation. He needed to know that Wesley's love was unconditional, that he had slept with Scott for a good reason. “Are you okay now, Joey?”
“Yeah, I just had a bad day, that's all.” Wesley smiled up at him. “Promise me something?”
“Anything, Babe.”
“If when we're 27, and neither of us are with someone else, you'll marry me.”
“Joey?”
“Promise me.” Wesley nodded.
“I promise, I'll marry you if we're both single at age 27.” Joey smiled a little. It was strained, but it was a smile. “Only if you promise to be the bride.”
“No.” Wesley giggled. “You have a way of ruining a moment.” Wesley stuck his tongue out at Joey and agreed.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
C lass dragged; when it was finally over Joey slipped back on his robe and headed for the bathroom to change, not acknowledging Christian as he called after him.
He didn't want to see Christian anymore. He didn't want to see anyone. Wesley and his conversation had only eased his mind and heart a little. Wesley had told Joey he'd cancel his plans with Branton, but Joey hadn't let him and had left to go study. He hadn't been able to concentrate, and now with Christian around…the situation was only getting worse.
“Joey, what's wrong?” Christian caught the door as Joey was just ducking into a stall.
“Nothing, I just have to get going.” Joey locked the door behind himself.
“At the risk of sounding vain, does this have something to do with me?”
“No. I just have to study. I have an exam coming up.” Christian sighed silently.
“I guess I'll see you later then.”
“Yeah.” Christian walked over to the door and opened it, then let it close. Joey opened the stall and jumped when he saw Christian still standing in the bathroom. “What are you still doing here?”
“What's wrong, Joey?” Joey shook his head. “Don't tell me it's nothing or it's an exam. I'm not going to buy it. What happened?” Joey shook his head again. Go, damn it, Christian…please, just leave. “Tell me, maybe I can help you.” Christian took a step forward, Joey stepped back. They continued their stepping game until Joey hit a wall.
Christian closed the distance between them.
“You look like someone hurt you, Joey.” Christian's voice was soft. “Let me help you.”
“No.” Christian didn't give up that easily.
“What is it going to take for me to get you to say yes?”
“What is it you want, Christian? Guys like you don't go for guys like me.”
“I resent being told who it is I do and don't go for. Especially since you won't give me a chance to get to know you.”
“Get to know me?”
“Come out with me tomorrow night.” Joey's heart jumped.
“Christian…”
“I won't settle for anything less than a “hells yes”.” Joey smiled. “There we go, there's that smile that's been playing itself over and over again in my mind.” Joey felt himself grow warm. “This is probably going to kill the mood here, but after Tuesday night, I just couldn't stop thinking about you. I had my cell phone in my hand, hoping you'd call me for a good hour.”
“Really?”
Christian smiled. “Yes, really.” Joey smiled again. “I know almost nothing about you, yet I find myself infatuated.” Christian leaned in, and finished the rest of his thought in Joey's ear, whispering it in smooth breaths. “I'm terrified of this…but I can't walk away.”
“I just…I'm so afraid.”
“Your last relationship ended horrifically, right?” Joey nodded. “But despite all that, you took a chance and went for it anyway.” Joey nodded again. “After you take away all the bad stuff, at some point taking that leap of faith was worth it.”
“I don't know.”
“Well, think of it as fate, then Joey. Maybe you had to meet him because he was essential to you meeting me.” Joey smirked. “Okay, that sounded really cocky, but you get the point. Fate will only take you so far, you have to do some of the work.”
“You believe that, Christian?”
“I've always lived my life with one philosophy. You can't measure life by the number of breaths you take, you have to measure it by the number of moments that take your breath away.”
And then Christian took Joey's breath away as he leaned in and kissed him.
It was the sweetest kiss Joey had ever felt, the way Christian's lips pressed into his, so faintly they were caressing him. Christian held Joey's face in his palms, as the kiss grew deeper. Joey felt Christian's tongue massage his, he tasted Christian, breathed in his scent. Everything about Christian was beautiful. His eyes, his smile, the way he felt.
As Christian continued, Joey felt his fears subsiding, he felt okay again. He felt passion…he felt desire… Christian felt it too, as he removed one hand from Joey's cheek only to press it into the wall to steady himself. Joey could feel his heart pounding in his throat he could feel warmth and love and wonder… he was falling…really falling…all his old defenses were melting away….
Joey moaned as the kiss broke. He was stunned for a moment, barely opening his eyes back up.
“I shouldn't have done that without asking you first, Joey.” Joey shook his head no.
“I needed that,” he whispered, looking into gorgeous hazel eyes.
“I think I might need you.” Joey blushed. “I'm falling for you, Joey. I've never felt like this before.”
Author's Endnotes: What a chapter. What a mess. Scott Caspian, what a bastard…I hated doing this to my favorite blond JoJo, but it's very essential to the plot. Actually from the beginning I knew that something like this would have to happen. I had the idea for that little bit of dialogue for the longest, “You can put your clothes back on now.” Talk about squeezing lemon juice into the wound. Next chapter's filled with fluff I swear. Anyway, please review.