Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ Memoirs of a Killer ❯ Chapter Forty Two ( Chapter 52 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: destiny dreamer 
Miscellaneous: Original Stories Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Suspense / Romance / Hentai / Drama / Action | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 12.12.2009 | Pages: 2 | Words: 3.4K | Visits: 156 | Status: Completed
Miscellaneous: Original Stories Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Suspense / Romance / Hentai / Drama / Action | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 12.12.2009 | Pages: 2 | Words: 3.4K | Visits: 156 | Status: Completed
Jack's jaw dropped slightly as he saw this. "Wow," he mumbled. "Is she...I mean, when you take her off of that stuff is she going to be okay?" He couldn't believe that Constance had tried to attack Daniel. She worshiped him. He couldn't fathom what kind of mind set she would have to be in to do something as awful as that. "Why would she do something to you guys when you were helping me?"
"We aren't exactly sure how she will be when we take her off it, but we do know we can't keep her on it," Daniel said. "When she's in the state of mind like she was then, the only thing she really thinks about is killing. She fought against it at first, when she saw you bleeding to death. She even talked to Brian at first, telling him she wouldn't hurt him. But as soon as we started moving you, she couldn't hold back anymore, something in her snapped. When she's like that, killing is like a drug. The more she kills, then better she feels. It's exactly why we keep her on the drugs. You use to think it was cruel to keep her on them, but if we didn't, she would kill and won't stop until someone brought her down or exhaustion kicked in. The drugs protect us from her, and her from herself."
Brian stepped back a bit a Constance fingers gripped into a tight fist. "The only problem with the small dose of the drug is that it's not enough to keep her dreams at bay. The whole time she's been under, she's been dreaming. Sometimes she screams, sometimes she laughs. A lot of the time she cries. We thought about adding more medication to the mask, but a continuous stream of that much medication could cause brain damage, or worse, it could kill her in her sleep."
Daniel smiled. He walked over to her and brushed her cheek. "And I'm not ready to let her go yet. Besides, she still has a mission to complete. She's going after my brother next."
"Your brother? But...he's the boss man? Why would she go after him?" What did he have to do with this? Was he the leak? Closing his eyes he tried to remember exactly what Shadow had been talking about. All he knew was that Shadow had found out about Constance. Someone wanted her dead, not that it mattered to him, he wanted to see her suffer. Had the boss ordered her to be killed?
"The boss ordered Constance death. Surprisingly, he sent his own assassins to help bring her down. She killed a lot of people she knew, though, from the remains of Shadow, he suffered the worse. I'm scared to think what she will do to the boss," Brian said. He pulled the curtain back, killing Jack's view of Constance.
So they were betrayed. Jack's eyes narrowed as he thought of that bastard. He never liked him, and now because of that Constance was going to suffer and he had been tortured mercilessly. He remembered that as Natasha dug her blades into him, there was a point when he almost begged for death. "I'll help her," he said coldly. "He deserves to die."
Daniel laughed. "No offense, Jack. But you won't be helping anyone. The damage done to your body had hindered all ability to be an assassin. You hands were badly damaged. The will be able to feel things that are hot and cold, but you will be lucky if they get any other feeling. Holding a gun is out of the question. You'll be slowing her down if anything," he said.
Brian sat down next to Jack. "She's going to go after him and she won't wait for you to get ready. You'll spend months in rehabilitation. Months that she doesn't have. Walking...will be a challenge for you. Even with all the drugs we have, it's up to you to get back into working order, and by working I mean walking, moving, and eating on your own. You are useless as an assassin."
Jack stopped as he heard this. His hands...his body.... Was that the reason that he couldn't move them? Was that why he was having such a hard time in general. "Y-you mean that I'll.... I mean...I'm...." He fell silent at this, not knowing what else to say. He'd tried the normal life and he always came back to killing. Now that just wasn't an option. What was he going to do? Would he ever be able to walk again?
"As long as you work hard and stay dedicated, you'll be able to walk and move about again within a month or two, with the help of our drugs. You are the easy part," Daniel said with a sigh. "Constance is the hard part. I've never had to put her under before. All of this is new to both Brian and myself. We could pull her off it and find out that she has completely turned. She might be lost in her head. She might never be the same. Or she might kill us all."
"Right, easy...." Looking over at the curtain which separate Constance from him, he exchanged glances with the men. "She'll be fine," he told them with an almost certain look of confidence. "I know she will."
Brian shrugged. "You have more faith in her than I do. Honestly, I'm terrified of her."
Daniel smacked him in the back of the head. "Get over it. You have to be brave if you want to be her caretaker."
Jack just continued to stare at the curtain. She would be okay. She had to. She was the Muse after all. Nothing could stop her. Of course, as he thought that that he looked down at his own ravaged body. Would she even want him now that he couldn't kill? Would she want him now that he was broken? "When are you going to take her off the mask?"
"Not until you can at least walk. If we took her off it before then, we would be risking your safety. Even if she did revert back to her normal, drug filled peppy self, she wouldn't leave you alone long enough for you to work."
Jack shook his head. "I'll be fine," he told him. "The longer you leave her on there, the longer you risk something bad happening."
Brian laughed. "And how would you know that? She's fine as long as we monitor her. Besides, you don't really get a voice in her staying on it or not."
"Why don't I get a say in it?" Jack asked, looking between the two men and suddenly feeling very much like a child. He couldn't even raise his fist in anger or storm off. This sucked, a lot.
Daniel slammed down his clipboard. "Because it's your fault she's like this," he said harshly. Pushing his glasses up his nose, he left the room.
Brian turned to Jack with a sigh. "He's kinda pissed at you. He thinks that if you had never shown up, she would have never loved you then would have never risked herself for you then wouldn't have cared if you got kidnapped...it goes on forever like that," he said. "But really, when you think about it, he was the one who wanted you to stay for her....then again, he did give you a choice to leave."
"I already feel guilty enough as it is," Jack snapped as Daniel left the room. He wanted to throw something at him, but instead he just muttered a few choice curse words. "If I'd known that this," he said motioning at his body. "Would happen or that she would be put in danger don't you think I would've stayed in bloody London?"
Brian smirked. "Didn't you know she would be in danger as soon as she took that bullet for you? You've always known, Jack, but you just couldn't stay away. None of us could. She draws you in like an addiction and no matter what you do, you can't shake that feeling. You could have everything in the world but not her and you would still feel like you were missing something." He patted Jack's head. "You knew that a long time ago and you chose to stay. Face it, Jack. You're no good for her just like she's no good for you. But somehow, you just can't let each other go. If she had never known you, you wouldn't be sitting in this bed, paralyzed."
Jack fell silent. Leaning his head against the pillow he sighed up at the staring. "Please....don't remind me." There was a silence that followed, and finally Jack just looked over at Brian. "Could I just be alone for a little bit?" It wasn't as if he was going anywhere, he just hated feeling so helpless with other people standing over him.
"Sure," Brian stood. "Want me to move the curtain back so you can see her?"
"Yes, please...." He watched as Brian smiled and pulled back the curtain so that he could see her. He wanted her to wake up. He wanted to be able to hold her. He wanted...a lot of things that wouldn't happen for quite some time.
"If you need me, just push the button by your bed," Brian said and left the room.
Constance body laid still except for the rising and falling of her chest. At times, her fingers would move or her lips would tremble, but other than that, she was in deep, still sleep.
"Constance....I'm sorry that this had to happen. All of this," he whispered. "When you wake up, I hope you forgive me; and I hope that you'll still want to be with me."
It took him a month before he was able to sit up and flex his fingers. He was just starting to get the feeling and control in his right hand, but his legs and left hand were still practically useless. He'd tried several times to walk or to even move, but they refused to work no matter what. Depression was starting to set in as he sat in the bed day in and day out, waiting for Brian and Daniel to help him.
So it was a Godsend when they finally let him get in a wheelchair just so that he could move around.
Brain tossed a ball to Jack. "Use your other hand this time. Just squeeze the ball the best you can."
Daniel stood over Constance, wiping her face. She was sweating and her body was shaking. She was crying and her hands were in tight fists. She had been like that for nearly an hour and Daniel was sure she was having a horrible nightmare. Brian glanced at Daniel for a second before turning back to Jack.
"Easier said than done," Jack hissed. Catching the ball in his right hand he moved it to his left. He tried to squeeze it, and for a second his hand did contract, but then the ball just fell to his hand. He cursed as he failed yet again. He wasn't accustomed to failure, but that was starting to become a part of his life.
Looking back to where Constance was, he called over to Daniel. "Is she okay?"
"She's had better days. But I know she'll pull through," Daniel said. He brushed her hair back. "You're not alone, Constance. I'm here," he whispered in her ear. Constance jolted. A small whimper escaped her lips and Daniel pushed his lips against her forehead. Her body teased then slowly she relaxed. With Daniel's lips still to her forehead, her breathing went easy and her hands unfisted. Daniel pulled back. "That's my girl."
Jack's eyes narrowed. Moving his wheelchair over to the other side of the bed, he gently caressed her cheek. "Hey Constance," he whispered. "Soon you'll wake up. Okay? And I'll be here for you when you do."
Constance's hands fisted again. Her back arched and she whimpered again. Daniel glared at Jack. "I got this."
"Sure you do," Jack said, not even bothering to look at him. "But I want to be by her. She's having a bad dream. Usually my voice helps to calm her."
Daniel gestured to Constance. "Obviously she was fine. I had it under control and then you came over and she started tensing again."
Brian grabbed Jack's wheel chair and moved him to the other side of the room. "Maybe you shouldn't step on Daniel's feet. He's the one that gives you the pain killers," Brian whispered to him. "We are in Daniel's world right now. And in his world, he is all Constance needs."
Jack tried to protest, but with Brian pushing his wheelchair there was really nothing else that he could do. "He better be glad that those pain killers are really damn good," he muttered. "When is he going to take her off of the mask? It could take me months to be able to walk again."
"I told you. She's not coming off it until you can move on your own, that includes walking. Trust me, Jack. You may think it hurts you to watch her be like that, but it's nothing compared to how it's killing Daniel. There is a lot you don't know about him, a lot that he keeps to himself," Brian said in a low, serious voice. "And you shouldn't test him in the matters of Constance."
Daniel turned back to Constance and pampered her again. Speaking in a gentle, loving voice. It was long before she relaxed again and he smiled.
Jack just shook his head in frustration. "And what if I never walk again? Will she just remain on that damn machine?" He couldn't believe that this was good for. Sure, he trust Daniel's and Brian's judgment, after all they had saved his life and brought him back from the brink of death. "It's been a month and I still don't have any feeling."
Brian turned the chair around for Jack to look at Constance. "Then take a good look at her, Jack. Take a long, hard look. You have to wake up telling yourself that you have to get better for her, so she can wake up. You have to yell at yourself to do better so she won't have to cry anymore." Brian walked in front of him and go to one knee. He looked Jack in the eyes. "I'm moving you out of this room. The longer you are away from her, the harder you will work at it." Moving behind Jack's chair again he smiled. "So take a long look at her, Jack, because this is the last time you will see her until you walk again."
Jack's face hardened. This wasn't fair! Damn it, none of this was fair. He wanted to protest Brian's decision, but instead he just bowed his head. "Okay," he said. Perhaps Brian was right. If he was away from her he might work harder for it. He didn't like this at all, but it was probably the best motivation he was going to have to walk again. "If that's what you think we need to do, then let's do it."
"Good," Brian said. He turned the chair around and opened the door. He rolled Jack's chair to the next room and smiled. It looked the same as the one he was in before only their was one less bed. Brian pointed to the wall. "That wall is the only connection you will have with her for a very long time. It could be shorter if you want it hard enough."
"Yeah...." That was all Jack said as he stared at his new 'home'. He was going to push himself to the limits until he was able to at least stand on his own. The not knowing what it was going to take or if he would even be able to was the hardest part about all of this. Still, he wasn't a quitter. He was going to see this through even if it killed him...again.
He had said it could take up to three months for him to be able to walk again. That had been a lie, a fool's hope. Even with him working every day, he was just barely able to move his toes by the end of three months. It took a year, one long hard year before he could finally stand. He had to use a cane to walk, and his movements were slow and measured as if he was elderly and frail. He was but a broken shell of who he once was.
Finally the day came. After a year of physical therapy he was finally able to move with a cane, and they agreed that Constance could be let out.
Brian held a gun firmly in both hands. Constance's hands and feet were strapped to the bed. They were taking precautions. If she woke up the way she was put to sleep, they would have to put her under again or worse. Brian held the gun tighter as Daniel looked over at him. It was only to be used if everything else failed, and it wasn't to kill her, just to stop her or slow her down enough to put her back under. Jack stood behind Brian, Daniel wouldn't allow him any closer until he knew for sure it was safe. Daniel looked at Constance. Her hair had grown out much longer than it had ever been and all the black was gone. Her silver locks curled around her sheets and pillowed. Her face was thin and she looked older. A year had done so much to her.
"We aren't exactly sure how she will be when we take her off it, but we do know we can't keep her on it," Daniel said. "When she's in the state of mind like she was then, the only thing she really thinks about is killing. She fought against it at first, when she saw you bleeding to death. She even talked to Brian at first, telling him she wouldn't hurt him. But as soon as we started moving you, she couldn't hold back anymore, something in her snapped. When she's like that, killing is like a drug. The more she kills, then better she feels. It's exactly why we keep her on the drugs. You use to think it was cruel to keep her on them, but if we didn't, she would kill and won't stop until someone brought her down or exhaustion kicked in. The drugs protect us from her, and her from herself."
Brian stepped back a bit a Constance fingers gripped into a tight fist. "The only problem with the small dose of the drug is that it's not enough to keep her dreams at bay. The whole time she's been under, she's been dreaming. Sometimes she screams, sometimes she laughs. A lot of the time she cries. We thought about adding more medication to the mask, but a continuous stream of that much medication could cause brain damage, or worse, it could kill her in her sleep."
Daniel smiled. He walked over to her and brushed her cheek. "And I'm not ready to let her go yet. Besides, she still has a mission to complete. She's going after my brother next."
"Your brother? But...he's the boss man? Why would she go after him?" What did he have to do with this? Was he the leak? Closing his eyes he tried to remember exactly what Shadow had been talking about. All he knew was that Shadow had found out about Constance. Someone wanted her dead, not that it mattered to him, he wanted to see her suffer. Had the boss ordered her to be killed?
"The boss ordered Constance death. Surprisingly, he sent his own assassins to help bring her down. She killed a lot of people she knew, though, from the remains of Shadow, he suffered the worse. I'm scared to think what she will do to the boss," Brian said. He pulled the curtain back, killing Jack's view of Constance.
So they were betrayed. Jack's eyes narrowed as he thought of that bastard. He never liked him, and now because of that Constance was going to suffer and he had been tortured mercilessly. He remembered that as Natasha dug her blades into him, there was a point when he almost begged for death. "I'll help her," he said coldly. "He deserves to die."
Daniel laughed. "No offense, Jack. But you won't be helping anyone. The damage done to your body had hindered all ability to be an assassin. You hands were badly damaged. The will be able to feel things that are hot and cold, but you will be lucky if they get any other feeling. Holding a gun is out of the question. You'll be slowing her down if anything," he said.
Brian sat down next to Jack. "She's going to go after him and she won't wait for you to get ready. You'll spend months in rehabilitation. Months that she doesn't have. Walking...will be a challenge for you. Even with all the drugs we have, it's up to you to get back into working order, and by working I mean walking, moving, and eating on your own. You are useless as an assassin."
Jack stopped as he heard this. His hands...his body.... Was that the reason that he couldn't move them? Was that why he was having such a hard time in general. "Y-you mean that I'll.... I mean...I'm...." He fell silent at this, not knowing what else to say. He'd tried the normal life and he always came back to killing. Now that just wasn't an option. What was he going to do? Would he ever be able to walk again?
"As long as you work hard and stay dedicated, you'll be able to walk and move about again within a month or two, with the help of our drugs. You are the easy part," Daniel said with a sigh. "Constance is the hard part. I've never had to put her under before. All of this is new to both Brian and myself. We could pull her off it and find out that she has completely turned. She might be lost in her head. She might never be the same. Or she might kill us all."
"Right, easy...." Looking over at the curtain which separate Constance from him, he exchanged glances with the men. "She'll be fine," he told them with an almost certain look of confidence. "I know she will."
Brian shrugged. "You have more faith in her than I do. Honestly, I'm terrified of her."
Daniel smacked him in the back of the head. "Get over it. You have to be brave if you want to be her caretaker."
Jack just continued to stare at the curtain. She would be okay. She had to. She was the Muse after all. Nothing could stop her. Of course, as he thought that that he looked down at his own ravaged body. Would she even want him now that he couldn't kill? Would she want him now that he was broken? "When are you going to take her off the mask?"
"Not until you can at least walk. If we took her off it before then, we would be risking your safety. Even if she did revert back to her normal, drug filled peppy self, she wouldn't leave you alone long enough for you to work."
Jack shook his head. "I'll be fine," he told him. "The longer you leave her on there, the longer you risk something bad happening."
Brian laughed. "And how would you know that? She's fine as long as we monitor her. Besides, you don't really get a voice in her staying on it or not."
"Why don't I get a say in it?" Jack asked, looking between the two men and suddenly feeling very much like a child. He couldn't even raise his fist in anger or storm off. This sucked, a lot.
Daniel slammed down his clipboard. "Because it's your fault she's like this," he said harshly. Pushing his glasses up his nose, he left the room.
Brian turned to Jack with a sigh. "He's kinda pissed at you. He thinks that if you had never shown up, she would have never loved you then would have never risked herself for you then wouldn't have cared if you got kidnapped...it goes on forever like that," he said. "But really, when you think about it, he was the one who wanted you to stay for her....then again, he did give you a choice to leave."
"I already feel guilty enough as it is," Jack snapped as Daniel left the room. He wanted to throw something at him, but instead he just muttered a few choice curse words. "If I'd known that this," he said motioning at his body. "Would happen or that she would be put in danger don't you think I would've stayed in bloody London?"
Brian smirked. "Didn't you know she would be in danger as soon as she took that bullet for you? You've always known, Jack, but you just couldn't stay away. None of us could. She draws you in like an addiction and no matter what you do, you can't shake that feeling. You could have everything in the world but not her and you would still feel like you were missing something." He patted Jack's head. "You knew that a long time ago and you chose to stay. Face it, Jack. You're no good for her just like she's no good for you. But somehow, you just can't let each other go. If she had never known you, you wouldn't be sitting in this bed, paralyzed."
Jack fell silent. Leaning his head against the pillow he sighed up at the staring. "Please....don't remind me." There was a silence that followed, and finally Jack just looked over at Brian. "Could I just be alone for a little bit?" It wasn't as if he was going anywhere, he just hated feeling so helpless with other people standing over him.
"Sure," Brian stood. "Want me to move the curtain back so you can see her?"
"Yes, please...." He watched as Brian smiled and pulled back the curtain so that he could see her. He wanted her to wake up. He wanted to be able to hold her. He wanted...a lot of things that wouldn't happen for quite some time.
"If you need me, just push the button by your bed," Brian said and left the room.
Constance body laid still except for the rising and falling of her chest. At times, her fingers would move or her lips would tremble, but other than that, she was in deep, still sleep.
"Constance....I'm sorry that this had to happen. All of this," he whispered. "When you wake up, I hope you forgive me; and I hope that you'll still want to be with me."
It took him a month before he was able to sit up and flex his fingers. He was just starting to get the feeling and control in his right hand, but his legs and left hand were still practically useless. He'd tried several times to walk or to even move, but they refused to work no matter what. Depression was starting to set in as he sat in the bed day in and day out, waiting for Brian and Daniel to help him.
So it was a Godsend when they finally let him get in a wheelchair just so that he could move around.
Brain tossed a ball to Jack. "Use your other hand this time. Just squeeze the ball the best you can."
Daniel stood over Constance, wiping her face. She was sweating and her body was shaking. She was crying and her hands were in tight fists. She had been like that for nearly an hour and Daniel was sure she was having a horrible nightmare. Brian glanced at Daniel for a second before turning back to Jack.
"Easier said than done," Jack hissed. Catching the ball in his right hand he moved it to his left. He tried to squeeze it, and for a second his hand did contract, but then the ball just fell to his hand. He cursed as he failed yet again. He wasn't accustomed to failure, but that was starting to become a part of his life.
Looking back to where Constance was, he called over to Daniel. "Is she okay?"
"She's had better days. But I know she'll pull through," Daniel said. He brushed her hair back. "You're not alone, Constance. I'm here," he whispered in her ear. Constance jolted. A small whimper escaped her lips and Daniel pushed his lips against her forehead. Her body teased then slowly she relaxed. With Daniel's lips still to her forehead, her breathing went easy and her hands unfisted. Daniel pulled back. "That's my girl."
Jack's eyes narrowed. Moving his wheelchair over to the other side of the bed, he gently caressed her cheek. "Hey Constance," he whispered. "Soon you'll wake up. Okay? And I'll be here for you when you do."
Constance's hands fisted again. Her back arched and she whimpered again. Daniel glared at Jack. "I got this."
"Sure you do," Jack said, not even bothering to look at him. "But I want to be by her. She's having a bad dream. Usually my voice helps to calm her."
Daniel gestured to Constance. "Obviously she was fine. I had it under control and then you came over and she started tensing again."
Brian grabbed Jack's wheel chair and moved him to the other side of the room. "Maybe you shouldn't step on Daniel's feet. He's the one that gives you the pain killers," Brian whispered to him. "We are in Daniel's world right now. And in his world, he is all Constance needs."
Jack tried to protest, but with Brian pushing his wheelchair there was really nothing else that he could do. "He better be glad that those pain killers are really damn good," he muttered. "When is he going to take her off of the mask? It could take me months to be able to walk again."
"I told you. She's not coming off it until you can move on your own, that includes walking. Trust me, Jack. You may think it hurts you to watch her be like that, but it's nothing compared to how it's killing Daniel. There is a lot you don't know about him, a lot that he keeps to himself," Brian said in a low, serious voice. "And you shouldn't test him in the matters of Constance."
Daniel turned back to Constance and pampered her again. Speaking in a gentle, loving voice. It was long before she relaxed again and he smiled.
Jack just shook his head in frustration. "And what if I never walk again? Will she just remain on that damn machine?" He couldn't believe that this was good for. Sure, he trust Daniel's and Brian's judgment, after all they had saved his life and brought him back from the brink of death. "It's been a month and I still don't have any feeling."
Brian turned the chair around for Jack to look at Constance. "Then take a good look at her, Jack. Take a long, hard look. You have to wake up telling yourself that you have to get better for her, so she can wake up. You have to yell at yourself to do better so she won't have to cry anymore." Brian walked in front of him and go to one knee. He looked Jack in the eyes. "I'm moving you out of this room. The longer you are away from her, the harder you will work at it." Moving behind Jack's chair again he smiled. "So take a long look at her, Jack, because this is the last time you will see her until you walk again."
Jack's face hardened. This wasn't fair! Damn it, none of this was fair. He wanted to protest Brian's decision, but instead he just bowed his head. "Okay," he said. Perhaps Brian was right. If he was away from her he might work harder for it. He didn't like this at all, but it was probably the best motivation he was going to have to walk again. "If that's what you think we need to do, then let's do it."
"Good," Brian said. He turned the chair around and opened the door. He rolled Jack's chair to the next room and smiled. It looked the same as the one he was in before only their was one less bed. Brian pointed to the wall. "That wall is the only connection you will have with her for a very long time. It could be shorter if you want it hard enough."
"Yeah...." That was all Jack said as he stared at his new 'home'. He was going to push himself to the limits until he was able to at least stand on his own. The not knowing what it was going to take or if he would even be able to was the hardest part about all of this. Still, he wasn't a quitter. He was going to see this through even if it killed him...again.
He had said it could take up to three months for him to be able to walk again. That had been a lie, a fool's hope. Even with him working every day, he was just barely able to move his toes by the end of three months. It took a year, one long hard year before he could finally stand. He had to use a cane to walk, and his movements were slow and measured as if he was elderly and frail. He was but a broken shell of who he once was.
Finally the day came. After a year of physical therapy he was finally able to move with a cane, and they agreed that Constance could be let out.
Brian held a gun firmly in both hands. Constance's hands and feet were strapped to the bed. They were taking precautions. If she woke up the way she was put to sleep, they would have to put her under again or worse. Brian held the gun tighter as Daniel looked over at him. It was only to be used if everything else failed, and it wasn't to kill her, just to stop her or slow her down enough to put her back under. Jack stood behind Brian, Daniel wouldn't allow him any closer until he knew for sure it was safe. Daniel looked at Constance. Her hair had grown out much longer than it had ever been and all the black was gone. Her silver locks curled around her sheets and pillowed. Her face was thin and she looked older. A year had done so much to her.