Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ Monkey Wrench ❯ Bathroom Shenanigans ( Chapter 8 )

Monday, January 10th, 2005

8:00 p.m. EST

Wilmington, DE

Theryn's Apartment

 

Slowly pacing the length of the kitchen, Rowan watched the dinner plate sized alarm clock ticking by the seconds on wall. Theryn and he were supposed to be leaving this godforsaken apartment any minute now and he found himself actually looking forward to attending this party, if nothing more than to get the girl's gods be damned scent out of his head.

 

Ever since disclosing his unique “reaction” to Theryn's blood-scent with Gage and Dom, he'd been banking heavily on Doc coming through for him with his experimental inhibitor patch.

 

Doc's invention would be a breakthrough for the whole Were species, however the Wolves and the Cats would benefit the most. There was really no reason, in this age of scientific miracles, why Weres should have to be beholden to their instincts as in days passed.

 

Granted, Rowan realized this was a great departure from his normally zealous stance against tampering with Were nature; but he'd seen far too many mating couples, whom while highly sexually compatible, couldn't stand to be in the same room together in civilized conversation.

 

He really did not want that to be his fate. He had seen a good portion of his parents' marriage and saw first hand the difference being in love made, and not just for Weres, but people in general. Unfortunately, nature saw things differently, because it was taking all he had not to go barging into her room and mark her as his.

 

The saddest part about it all, he knew neither of them would want this. Theryn had no clue what he was going through; even if she was reading the textbook Dom had given her. Rowan had given none of the usual signs and she was so obliviously dense about these sorts of things she wouldn't figure it out anyway.

 

On his end, he was pulled in two directions. Mentally and emotionally, he would avoid her like the plague, the two of them mixed like oil and water, no amount of faery blood and werewolf instinct was going to change their clashing personalities.

 

Physically, she wasn't even his type, a bit on the short side and kind of dorky, and he definitely was a man who believed blondes had more fun. Plus, she voluntarily watched cartoons and her favorite movie was some early nineties Jim Carrey flick about a kidnapped dolphin. Not compatible didn't even begin to describe them.

 

Yet, on a purely animalistic level, she was his perfect mate and his senses were going haywire in a clanging cacophony to finish what they started. It was times like this Rowan really wished his parents were still alive. While he knew much about his human/werewolf heritage, and a little of his mother's fey side, he knew his current reaction to Theryn was more than just the normal instinctual urges of his kind.

 

Getting ready to round the table once again, Rowan was most unprepared for the entrance of a dressed up Theryn. He had gotten used to seeing her in sweatpants and old t-shirts, with her glasses on and no make-up. Needless to say he was quite surprised to see she sure cleaned up nice.

 

Her long dark brown hair was actually styled in something other than a straightened ponytail. He never knew it was so long, falling to her chest in a sea of tousled curls. With her contacts in, her eyes seemed larger and brighter, a clear sea glass green, and her full lips were painted a pale seashell pink.

 

She was wearing a baby blue wrap shirt, made out of some gauzy material, with strips of elbow length sleeves fluttering around her arms. The V of the shirt was rather low and he definitely appreciated the ample display of cleavage.

 

He raised his eyebrows at the tight black flared pants she had on, and paid extra attention to the lack of panty line; seems little Miss Fuddy Duddy owned at least one pair of thong underwear. Eyes glazing over, he began to think that maybe this whole mating thing could work out…

 

“Hey, are you alright? You're eyes look all glassy and you're breathing heavy, you sure you're up to going to this party tonight?” asked Theryn.

 

Quickly bringing himself out of his X-rated reverie, Rowan assumed his gruff demeanor and returned to his previously irritated state. “I'm fine, are you ready?”

 

“Yep, Let me just grab my bag and coat, then we can go,” Theryn responded.

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8:30 p.m. EST

Wilmington, DE

Enigma Nightclub

 

After zipping down the highway at half the speed of light, in a car with a still broken window on his side, they arrived at the party around 8:30 p.m. despite its 8:00 p.m. start schedule. Apparently Theryn was notoriously late for everything; Rowan closely shadowed his charge in the crowded night club.

 

The noise was loud, but nothing he couldn't handle. He also found cigarette smoke, while normally an unwelcome pollutant, was a blessedly irritating distraction.

 

He was relieved to smell something other than concentrated eau d'Theryn, but most certainly not prepared for his instinctive responses to Theryn's proximity to so many other people. Well people were not a problem, other males were the problem.

 

Shit, was that him growling like that? Christ, pull it together, Campbell!

 

“Lisa, hey there you are. Where's Heather, I want to wish her happy birthday?” Theryn inquired loudly.

 

“She's over by the bar; everyone's buying her free drinks tonight. I swear that's the only reason she's having this damn party, free alcohol!” Lisa shouted over the music.

 

Theryn nodded in agreement, gesturing to the red leather clad Lisa that they should go to the bar for drinks of their own. He followed silently behind; slightly miffed that Theryn hadn't acknowledged his presence since parking the car in the club's lot.

 

Barreling his way through the crowd, he managed to insinuate himself between Theryn and the mob of people at her back, who were also clamoring for the bartender's attention. He further noted that the overly pierced bartender swiftly made his way over to Theryn and Lisa without much provocation on their part.

 

Rowan nearly fell over when Theryn asked him if he wanted anything. He declined, knowing he was on the job and that she only asked because she was being polite. At least she wasn't pretending like he didn't exist anymore.

 

Lisa smiled broadly at the bartender as she ordered her cosmopolitan while Theryn nonchalantly asked for a Scotch, neat. Who says you can't judge people by what they drink?

 

Just as they were receiving their drinks, a very tall, willowy woman with platinum blonde hair and sky blue eyes strode over to them, thanking them for coming and the lovely gift, a Louis Vuitton handbag she had wanted badly. After this brief conversation, she sashayed to another table, effusive in her sincere gratitude.

 

Rowan noted that this woman was his type to a tee, a tall, blonde, Barbie clone, with a sweet, bubbly personality, and much to his surprise, he had zero interest in pursuing her.

 

As the blonde was walking away, Theryn looked at Lisa and said dryly, “We got her a Louis Vuitton handbag for her birthday? Where did you buy that thing, out of someone's trunk?”

 

“Of course not, it was a perfectly legitimate purchase,” Lisa responded smartly, “I just managed to get a man in on the deal so we didn't have to contribute so much.”

 

“Alright, who's the desperate and hopelessly pining ex-boyfriend you managed to finagle into forking over $500 and please go don't go into details about what you had to do in order to get it.” Theryn replied.

 

Lisa was smiling smugly, “That's were you are wrong my friend, I merely mentioned to someone that you and I were going together to get Heather a gift. A present you were determined to get her, despite your pauper status and he jumped at the chance of coming to your aid.”

 

Rowan watched as Theryn's face fell, a look of shock mixed with rage clouded her face.

 

“Lisa, tell me you didn't go to Joseph. Please, anyone but him.”

 

“Geeze, what's the big deal!? You know Joe will do just anything to get back in your good graces, plus he's loaded now ever since his grandpa died and gave him the business. You should be happy SOMEONE's looking out for your love life, YOU certainly aren't,” Lisa defended.

 

“LISA! Fucking A you know what happened with Joe, and you know why I dumped him. Why would you go and open up that old can of worms? And he wouldn't do anything to get back in my good graces; he's long since gotten over our break up. Except, now I not only have to look like a total gold digger, but I owe him freaking money!” Theryn was screaming.

 

Rowan was torn between getting her out of the building and sticking around to find out more about this Joe character. Theryn was very tight lipped about her personal life; there were no pictures or mementos in her apartment to indicate any past relationships. He had a feeling this Joe guy was pretty important, or had been at one time anyway.

 

“Sssshhh, Theryn. Just chill okay, now wipe that look off your face `cause guess who is walking over here right now?” Lisa warned.

 

Theryn stood on her tip toes to peer across the crowd and sure enough, Rowan spotted a tall, dark haired man, wearing khakis and a green polo shirt. He was smiling affably at them; cutting so swiftly through the crowd Rowan could have sworn the man was some kind of supernatural.

 

Coming up to the three of them, the man hugged Lisa right away, making short conversation. Theryn was trying to make herself smaller, staring into her empty scotch glass, she had just swallowed the entire contents whole upon Lisa's hastily uttered declaration.

 

Rowan pulled closer to Theryn at this change in her demeanor, he may only be here to protect her physically, but damned if he'd allow this guy to cow her into acting like this. He'd never seen her so timid and wary. The stranger started to make a hugging motion at Theryn, but she slipped cleanly under Rowan's outstretched arm.

 

The man frowned at her swift movement, “Hi Theryn, you look amazing! I was just saying to Lisa how I was hoping you'd be at the party tonight. I know how you can be such a homebody sometimes,” said the tall stranger.

 

“Thanks Joe, so do you. You didn't have to cover so much of Heather's gift; I'll send you a check for the difference as soon as possible.” Theryn stated.

 

The man sighed, “It's always about keeping it even with you isn't it? Why won't you just let me pay for it? I know you don't have the money right now--“

 

“Joseph, I said I'd pay you back and I will. Expect the check within the week,” and then Theryn smiled at Lisa, “and Lisa said she wanted to send one too, didn't you Lease?”

 

Spitting out a mouthful of recently swallowed cosmopolitan, Lisa stared mouth agape, “Huh? Oh, uh, yeah, sure, just don't try to cash it right away.”

 

Nodding at the two of them, Joe's face fell from its earlier smiling charm, focusing on Rowan at Theryn's right. Looking straight at Theryn, he asked “Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?”

 

Theryn looked puzzled, “My friend?”

 

Rowan was ready to scream, she had forgotten about him again?

 

“Yes, or am I incorrect in assuming that the man violating your personal space without sending you into your usual claustrophobic fit is a friend?” Joe fired at Theryn.

 

Whether he knew it or not, Joe was treading on thin ice. Rowan could tell Joe was already jealous of him, although it seemed Theryn was clueless.

 

“Oh, ah, Joe this is Rowan, he's ah, a, ah, he's a friend of my brother's. He's thinking about moving to Wilmington, so I've been showing him around a bit.” Theryn answered, unsurely.

 

Joe looked at Rowan coldly, “A friend of Seth's? You're a little old to be hanging around High Schoolers aren't you?”

 

Rowan started to growl deeply, just at human hearing level, Lisa noticed immediately but Theryn was strangely unaware.

 

“We're really more like acquaintances,” Rowan clarified, gravelly voiced.

 

Joe was taken aback; he looked Rowan up and down as if he were deciding something.

 

“So where in Wilmington are you thinking about moving to? I've got some great recommendations for the south side of town, great architecture, restaurants, lots of stuff to do down there,” said Joe.

 

Rowan wanted to laugh, the south side of town was a dump, and interestingly, most inconvenient to Theryn's apartment. It was time to finish this.

 

“Thanks, I'll look into it, but I think I prefer were I'm sleeping now.”

 

Theryn suddenly looked real anxious, good; she figured out what he was doing, she'd moved up from clueless to vaguely aware.

 

Joe asked the inevitable, “Oh really, where's that?”

 

The werewolf smiled, teeth showing prominently, “At Theryn's apartment.”

 

Lisa's brows were under her bangs, but she was soon smiling broadly. Theryn's eyes were wide as saucers, and Joe was livid. Apparently, Joe had been under the belief that when he and Theryn had broken up, she had remained chaste and untouched. From what Rowan had overheard before, at least one guy, “Philip,” had broken Joe's delusions on that little fantasy.

 

Surely it didn't hurt to set this guy straight once and for all. It was obvious Theryn didn't want to get back together with him, despite Lisa's underhanded match making attempt. Rowan was merely doing Theryn a favor by letting Joe believe he and Theryn were fucking like bunnies on an hourly basis. Yeah, a favor.

 

If he also happened to be marking his territory in the sometimes more subtle method of humans, than so be it.

 

With that bomb dropped, it was only a matter of minutes before Joe excused himself, Theryn chugged another scotch and Lisa came to an obvious conclusion.

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10:00 EST

Wilmington, DE

Enigma Nightclub

 

 

Lisa had been watching her best friend and the “bodyguard” closely for the past hour and a half. What she saw made her want to grab Theryn by the shoulders and shake her, hard.

 

In the 14 years they had known each other, she had learned two things about her BFF that would always be true: 1) barring the death of a very close family member, the girl wouldn't cry for ANYTHING. And perhaps even more dependable than that: 2) Theryn couldn't flirt her way out of a paper bag.

 

As a test of her recent discovery, all night, she had been introducing Theryn to various single guys she knew went for Theryn's “type” and would “get” her sometimes acerbic sarcastic wit. As confirmation of her findings, Lisa found her match making plans not only done in by Theryn's usual obliviousness, but Rowan's menacing presence and suddenly possessive actions over her.

 

Well, werewolf suitor or no seemed like it was time to play her usual role as Theryn's “Hey dumbass, that guy really likes you” messenger. That is, if she could pull Rowan away from her for five minutes.

 

Giving Theryn the secret code, eye contact plus a quick head nod in the direction of the ladies room, she headed toward the restroom as quickly as possible in four inch stiletto heels.

 

Waiting in the alcove, she watched as Theryn argued with Rowan for a few seconds, then saw the bodyguard people had been mistaking as the bouncer all night, reluctantly nod his head in her direction.

 

Once inside, she turned around, grabbed Theryn by her arm and ushered them into the handicapped bathroom for a modicum of privacy.

 

In her usual bracing manner, she broke the somehow always surprising news to her clueless friend.

 

“Theryn, I have to tell you something and just agree to discuss this before you fly off the handle and insist I'm seeing things like you always do when I tell you this.”

 

Staring up at her with sincere unawareness, Theryn nodded her head, “Sure, go ahead.”

 

“Alright, now don't kill me when I say this, but Rowan likes you. And when I say “like” I really mean lusts after you, so that's why your bachelor parade had only three guys in it this time, he was scaring them all away.”

 

Tilting her head aside, Theryn replied, “Huh, I kind of wondered why the meet n' greets were so few this time, well look at that, you've finally learned your lesson—Hey wait a minute, Rowan DOES NOT lust after me.”

 

“Oh yes he does, you're just blind, like always. Don't you ever wonder how you were able to have the three paltry relationships you've had before? Because the guys were very forthright in their affections and I was there to tell you they were legit, otherwise you'd have played it off like a friend until they got frustrated or hired a skywriting company. I recall Joe being days away from indulging in some atmospheric composition until I set you straight.”

 

“Okay fine, so you had to whap me over the head a few times before I saw the light, sorry sometimes I just have a hard time believing some guy would want to be with me, I'm not exactly super model material you know, and hanging out with you never helped my ego…”

 

“Don't give me that bullshit, you get just as many stares as me Theryn Thompson, you're just too busy with your nose in a book or school work, or something equally dull to notice. You're always so hung up on being modest and humble; sometimes you have to face cold hard reality. And right now, I'm telling you, Rowan wants to get in your pants.”

 

Theryn rolled her eyes, “I'll believe when I see it. Discussion over. Hey look I'm glad you brought me in here, I've been wanting to tell you my plan all night.”

 

Lisa was surprised, Theryn had a plan? This should be good, “What plan?”

 

Theryn leaned in whisper close as she told Lisa the details of her escape plan, from changing her clothes and disguising her scent with perfume, to borrowing Lisa's car and crashing at Lisa's apartment. When she was done, Theryn smiled at Lisa evilly, and grabbed her bag to start pulling on clothes that were obviously not hers.

 

Turning around to give Theryn her privacy, Lisa warned, “Um, can I just go on the record as saying I don't think this is a good idea. Rowan will shit bricks when he finds out you've flown the coop. He seems the, um, territorial type, ya know?”

 

“Yeah, whatever, he'll get over it, just stall him or introduce him to some of Heather's single friends when I get ready to leave. That should keep him busy for a while. Oh, and you'll probably have to drive him to my apartment later too, but he should realize the futility of looking for me after a few hours, he'll head back to Elijah's Island eventually.”

 

“Sure, like that's going to happen. The guy looks like he wouldn't give up on a particularly difficult videogame, my guess; your little escape is going to be filed under Urgent.”

 

Hearing her friend putting on her shoes, Lisa turned around, “Whoa there Theryn, what in the hell are wearing?”

 

“Oh, these are my cousin Hailey's things she left behind the last time she visited. I know they're a little punk Goth but it was all I had to work with, I needed something saturated in another's scent to get away with it.”

 

“It smells like it was saturated in cigarette smoke and hobo piss. Christ, he'll sniff ya out even better now.”

 

“No he won't, this doesn't smell like ME, and that's the point, plus I brought a real scent masker, that's the perfume. You know I never wear the stuff, it should fool him temporarily. Hey, do me a favor and pull it out of my bag, will ya, I'm going to have to bathe in it.”

 

As Lisa navigated the confines of Theryn's bag, she heard the stall door next to them open. Pulling out the perfume, a gargantuan bottle of Estee Lauder's Beautiful, she stood up quickly to hand it to her friend.

 

Unfortunately, this was at the exact moment her perilously high stilettos sunk into a tile groove and sent her sprawling on the hard floor surface, perfume bottle flying through the air in a perfect arc to land with a shattering splash into the toilet.

 

Theryn stared down at the floating glass and topaz liquid with a determined look. It seemed she was ready to brave sharp bottle shards and toilet water in order to carry out her plan.

 

“Theryn wait, shit I'm sorry, just don't go fishing around in the freaking toilet, we'll find you some more perfume.”

 

“Where am I going to get more perfume in here?” Theryn whined. “If I leave the bathroom; Rowan will attach himself to me like a hitchhiking remora.”

 

Lisa was rubbing at her knees, wondering if there was an air duct Theryn could crawl through when there was knock on their door.

 

A very forced but extremely thick southern accent spoke, “Hi, I overheard you're in need of some perfume. I've got some on me if you'd like to use it.”

 

Theryn brightened immediately, throwing open the stall door to reveal a thin red head outfitted in the latest Dolce & Gabbana, her best friend took the proffered Chanel bottle with profuse thanks.

 

“Go ahead and use it all if you want, I've had that bottle for ages. I got too many now as it is,” said Red sweetly.

 

“Thank you very much, I really needed this,” Theryn replied while Lisa and Red watched as she proceeded to douse herself in the entire bottle of amber liquid.

 

The smell was overpowering, like a field of wildflowers had sprung up in the toilets. Red was smiling widely, for some odd reason, and nearly skipped out of the bathroom. Lisa thought she just must get high off of helping people, wonder what that must be like.

 

Theryn smelled like a bee's wet dream. Lisa handed her anxious friend the keys to her car, a brand new Jeep Liberty by the way, and headed out the door. Theryn had told her to tell Rowan the cover story that her stomach wasn't feeling good and that she would be in the restroom a bit longer.

 

Lisa chuckled loudly to herself, only Theryn would have the balls to try to avoid detection by a clearly interested guy with a diarrhea story. If that didn't turn this guy off, nothing would.