Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ Never Enough ❯ Never Enough ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: Story and characters belong to me. The book Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony belongs to Eoin Colfer.

 

Warnings: Swearing, minimal violence.

 

 

 

*~*~*~*

 

 

"Shit."

 

"Shit."

 

I banged my fists on my bedroom wall and continued berating myself.

 

"Damn it, I'm screwed! What could have possibly possessed me to make such a stupid lie?"

 

I let out a grunt of frustration and punched the wall again.

 

"Gods, Ashley, you're so damn stupid!"

 

Muttering under my breath, I attempted to calm down so I could think clearly, and, after another minute or so of cursing my idiocy, I slid to the ground, leaning against the wall with my head in my hands.

 

"You said you were going to Katelyn's house, dumbass. So now what?"

 

I assessed the situation. In a mad attempt to get away from my mother, I had told her I was going to Katelyn's house to avoid being lugged along to my brother's baseball game. I honestly didn't think I could stay in a car with her for the forty-five minute drive, much less the whole game -- especially when she was still angry about my lack of social life. Well, it's her own damn fault. She's the one who won't let me see my real friends.

 

I threw my hands at the floor in attempt to vent some of my fury.

 

I contemplated my options. I could try calling Katelyn again, but it wasn't likely she was home. Where could she have gone? Her away message said "getting ready," but I had no idea what she might be getting ready for... Unless she was at the movies with Michael again. I huffed in annoyance. "And she says they're not dating."

 

Either way, she wasn't at her house, so I could hardly go there.

 

"Okay," I sighed, "second option?"

 

If I didn't say anything at all, Katelyn was bound to blurt it out eventually. That wasn't even an option.

 

I could pretend I had gone over and make up some bullshit story about what we did, but what if my mom asked them about it? I didn't think I could ask Katelyn to lie to my parents for me, but even if she agreed, she would probably tell her own parents about it. And then they might tell my parents the truth. Too many variables, I thought, remembering one of the Artemis Fowl books. It was The Lost Colony, right? Yeah, with the big silver ball. I wonder if that was the last book…

 

Forcing myself out of my mental rambling, which I did often to distract myself, I struggled to push down the fear growing in my chest. I had never played hooky, before. Well, not like this, anyway. Sure, I've lied to my parents about stuff like homework assignments, but that was it. And besides, it was my parents. I'm not like I have a relationship with them or anything, and I was perfectly content not to, especially with my snooping, hypocritical, petulant mother.

 

But this was bigger because it involved other people, other adults. And I didn't let adults in on my secrets. I just didn't. It was like an unspoken rule to myself. Actually, it was more like a subconscious behavior. I was already shy, but around adults, I totally closed myself off. And even if I tried, I couldn't pry myself open around them.

 

But you trust Katelyn's mom more than any other adult, I thought to myself.

 

But still not enough.

 

I sighed, my forehead creased with worry and despair rising in my throat, spreading a clammy feeling across my skin. I clasped my hands together to stop the shaking.

 

I was scared. Scared of their yelling, scared of their punishment, and scared of being closed off from my friends even more than I already was.

 

The despair had turned into a lump in my throat, making it difficult to breathe.

 

This is stupid, I told myself. You're overreacting.

 

But if I was overreacting, then I did it an awful lot around my parents.

 

A cold sweat had broken out on my back, making me feel feverish.

 

And that's when my cell phone started vibrating across the table.

 

"Shit!"

 

I chewed on the inside of my lip, still undecided about what to do, the lump in my throat growing bigger.

 

Leave it ring? No, she might call Katelyn's home phone then. And then they would wonder why my mom's cell phone number was on their caller ID.

 

I guessed that meant I wasn't telling Katelyn about any of this.

 

Answer it? I started the reach for the vibrating phone, but hesitated. And say what?

 

I guess I'll worry about that when I need to.

 

I answered the phone.

 

And the call was lost.

 

I stared at the phone incredulously, and my thoughts slowed to a stop while relief flooded through me.

 

And then it started moving across the table again.

 

My panic flared up once more, as did my indecision. Different situations played out in my mind, replaced by a new one when deemed fruitless. My head pounded, and my hands started shaking again. I heard ringing in my ears.

 

Desperate to stop the suffering, I answered the phone.

 

And the call was lost.

 

Again.

 

Damn it all to hell! I fumed. Gritting my teeth, I stomped down to the main floor and outside where the reception was better. Before uncertainty could gnaw at me again, I dialed my mother's cell phone number.

 

"Hello?" I clenched my fists at her voice.

 

"Hey, Mom. Did you call?" Twice, you fucking snoop!

 

"Yeah, I did. Where are you?"

 

Forcing back a growl, I said as politely as I could, "At home."

 

"At home? I thought you were going to Katelyn's."

 

Suddenly the hopelessness welled up in my throat again. When I responded, I vaguely noted how defeated I sounded. "She wasn't feeling well."

 

"Oh, so you're just going to sit home." She sounded ready to rant at me again. But she won't because other people can hear.

 

"Yeah," I said quietly.

 

"So you're just going to sit at home and do nothing?" She sounded angry. Usually her pitiful repetition would bother me, but I was too flooded with misery to care.

 

"Yeah," I repeated, softer than before.

 

"Fine. Bye."

 

"Bye."

 

I sighed and went back inside. So, I was safe for now. I'd have to get in contact with Katelyn and figure out what she had been doing, and, in the meantime, find a way to avoid my parents' questions. I suppose I could fake sleep. Another sigh. I felt drained now that the fear had left.

 

And then a realization hit me.

 

She still thinks Katelyn is trying to avoid me. It had been months ago. I was supposed to go with Katelyn to a hotel for a day or two to help her mom with something for work. But every day she came up with an excuse, and so I never went.

 

I never figured out what I had done wrong. Maybe it was because she felt left out; she didn't really fit in with our group since she was somewhat flirty and vain. That alone should have thrown her right in with the other main clique, except she held some ridiculous grudge against almost every person in it. I figured she was jealous, but what did I know? I had never been one to flirt with the boys, too shy to even start a conversation, so it wasn't as if I knew what there was to be envious of.

 

She wasn't avoiding me anymore, though, because I wasn't seeing my friends anymore. My parents had banned it, afraid of our interests in "darker" things than flirting. They had reasoned that I was only interested in rock music because I was around those friends, that I would stop joking about our imaginary friends if I was kept away from them, and a number of other things.

 

I missed them.

 

Even though I talked to them secretly on the phone every few days, I missed them.

 

Even though we met at the library ever once in a while when I went to "pick up some books," I missed them.

 

Because it wasn't enough.

 

It was never enough.

 

 

*~*~*~*

 

 

A/N: Based on a true event… but a bit dramatized to make reading (and writing) it more enjoyable. (Don't we all love drama? *snicker*) When I started writing, I intended to make a small series out of it to fill in all the sketchy parts, but I think it stands better as a one-shot. Tell me what you think.