Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ Nymphetamine ❯ Human Emotion ( Chapter 3 )

I entered Ethan’s office belatedly that morning, having slept through my alarm. Though I knew he wouldn’t mind, I still felt guilty. Especially for what I was about to do. Ethan had been so preoccupied with the paperwork in front of him that he didn’t bother to look up at me. His long brown hair was pulled back into a ponytail. I sat down in the single chair in his office, waiting for him to acknowledge me. I couldn’t have asked for a more lenient boss and at this point I felt like I was taking advantage. Ethan looked up at me, his eyes weary and at the same time, seemingly happy to see me.
“You look better.” Was his only response, and I nodded my head.
“I feel better, thank you.” I looked guiltily down at my hands, tapping my foot softly on the white tile. “Ethan, I have a favor to ask you.”
“And what would this favor be?” Ethan asked, setting his black pen down on the desk, focusing all of his attention uncomfortably on me.
“I need to go out of town for a while. There’s something I need to take care of.”
Ethan gave me a scrutinizing look. “And how long is a little while?”
“I’m not sure really, but I was told no longer than a week.”
Ethan pondered this for a moment. I could feel his eyes staring at me and I looked up at him. “You know I hired you because your talents are unrivaled by any other. At some point, you’re actually going to have to work here.”
I smiled at him, resisting the urge to laugh. “Thank you.” I stood to my feet, my greatest feat still lurking around the corner. Ethan stood with me, silently asking me to wait.
“I trust you’re not going alone. You’re being safe right, Suna?”
Did I dare tell him who my potential protector would be? Risking my job wasn’t as important to me as risking my relationship with Ethan. No matter how simplistic it was. I cared for him truth be told. I nodded my head for words escaped me.
“I hope you know to call me…if you need anything. I mean it.” Ethan gazed at me for long periods of time and I found all I could do was look at him, speechless and feeling empty. The way he looked at me was like he had known me for years, as if, in a past life, we had maybe been lovers or partners in crime. I cleared my throat to ease the silence in the room. Ethan took a step toward me but I found I was too stunned to move or tell him no. As if, some passive part of me wanted him to make a move. Wanted him to touch me, caress me softly…almost as much as I longed for Stephan. And he stood before me, so close I could feel his breath upon my hair; unbrushed and untouched since the night before. I took in a deep breath and stepped back from him. What was coming over me? I longed for two men…I felt like a wanton whore, but it felt so right. It felt so wrong. Ethan watched me with gentle eyes, not making another move. I cleared my throat to break the silence before speaking.“Yes, of course.” I responded quickly.
I took my leave than, feeling oddly stupid. But for the first time in my life I found myself unquestioning of the things I didn’t understand…

I left a message on Stephan’s answering machine, expecting him to answer me back already. It was late now, nearly midnight and I was growing weary of waiting. I lay back on my bed, tossing the ball in the air and catching it again before it went out of my reach. I sighed heavily, closing my eyes. What the hell was I going to do if Stephan didn’t come? Jesus, what was I getting myself into?
“I’ve been dreaming a lot lately.” His voice was rough, callous it would seem. I turned my gaze toward him, memorizing his features. I couldn’t tell how long he’d been there, for I felt myself slipping, falling into a void where all was nothing and so everything. It took me a moment to comprehend what he was saying…even longer for me to wonder why I should care. In an instant he was beside me, running his pale slender fingers through my long hair. “I’ve been dreaming of you, Sunari.”
I blinked tiredly, reaching out to him, “tell me Stephan, what is it that you dream about when you dream of me?”
His smile was vibrant, glinting off the small rays of moonlight coming through my bedroom window. I was engrossed within his beautiful eyes, yearning to hear his voice and feel his touch. “Let me show you, my darling girl.” His fangs extended and crashed down on my neck. I was screaming, thrashing to make the pain stop. To make the man I yearned for stop hurting me.
“Sunari, wake up!” And then he was yelling my name and I was awake, eyes burning with unshed tears and my voice harsh. I was gripping his arms tightly, my head against his chest, my breathing haggard and rapid. “It’s okay. You’re okay. I’m here now.” I laughed in spite of myself. If only he had known how ironic those words were to me now. I looked up at him, my eyes glazed with unshed tears.
“You got my call?” I asked shakily, pulling myself from his grip. He nodded his head, apprehension written on his angelic face. “I’m fine, Stephan. It was just a nightmare.”
He put on a hesitant smile before crawling in my bed beside me. “I’ve been trying to wake you for the last ten minutes…” I let him pull me into his embrace and I let him hold me there. Our bodies just fit together, the missing piece to my puzzle; the last ingredient to my well being. I rested against his toned form, stifling a yawn. “I’m sorry I didn’t return your call sooner. I was otherwise engaged. I accept of course, though I’d like to know more…”
I shrugged my shoulders, resting my eyes. “I don’t know much myself but the money is good and how hard can resurrecting one vampire with a soul be?”
“Difficult.” Was his only response and by all intents and purposes he was probably right. But I was far from caring. A job, is a job, is a job. That’s how I saw it.
“I’ll need to inform Alucard of my leave.” I nodded my head in understanding.
“Can it wait till tomorrow?” There was a hint of pleading in my voice, though it didn’t faze me. If just for tonight this was something I needed, wanted and thoroughly enjoyed. I assumed Stephan broke down and gave in to my human needs because he settled us down into my fluffy bed and stroked my hair.
“What’s it going to take to make you mine, Sunari?” His question surprised me. When Stephan and I had first met he hated me with every thread of his being. It wasn’t something that bothered me; it was survival of the fittest, and I had earned my place amongst them whether they were accepting of it or not. What changed in him I’ll never know, nor would I ever ask. The fear of rejection was human nature, and it lived inside of me next to envy and hatred.
“There is no place for human and vampire relations, Stephan. And that’s exactly what I am: human.” His index finger hooked under my chin, pulling my face up to look at him. I gazed into his eyes for long moments, my subconscious dancing on the idea that he was the one for me. There was emptiness in his eyes, reminding me he was vampire.
“I know exactly what you are, Sunari. I’ve been alive for five centuries and never have I felt such a burning desire to know a single person. Let alone a human female. You confuse me and throw me into new dimensions of pissed off every day. But above all that, I love you so.”
I smiled softly, looking away from him. “You lack the ability to comprehend human emotions, Stephan. What you feel is a voracious hunger for human blood. You’ve been deprived for far too long.”
A sudden cold washed over us, and I shivered. He was silent for long periods of time, leaving me to think for myself. Silence was golden, but there was something to be said about biting your tongue. This was certainly one of those moments. Suddenly, his arms held me tighter to him, as if he was afraid I was leaving. But I could no longer leave him than I could stop breathing. “Besides,” I whispered, “I need your love like I need a kick in the ass.”
And I was fading than, fatigue washing over my body like waves crashing over the Ocean. Whether I would openly admit it or not, I needed Stephan like a drug and an addiction is still an addiction; it always hurts the same.