Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ Pistol-whipped ❯ The Innocent and the Guilty ( Chapter 11 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

By: axel720

`What I've Done'
is by Linkin Park

Excuse the dodgy italics that make the words stick together <.<

Enjoy.

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In this farewell
There's no blood, there's no alibi
`Cause I've drawn regret
From the truth of a thousand lies

Soletmercy come
And wash away
What I've done

Guilt.

Like someone shoving their fist into your stomach, grabbing everything in reach and tearing it back out again. Like a ton of rusty iron chunks dumped right on top of you. Harsh, crushing. Like the sting of vomit in your throat before it spills out; like the ache in your head and the throb of your bloodshot eyes. Like your conscience hating you; and the fact that no matter how hard you try, you'll never get rid of it. Like everything in the world has violently refused to accept you as part of it.

It's like icy hands clawing at you from under your bed at night.

He was trembling everywhere; hunched over at the foot of his bed. The mattress sunk under his weight, his face was buried in his hands. His form jerked and shook in the darkness; flashes of the lightning outside illuminating him and his room. The thunder was loud; the music was blasting from speakers and the headphones on his ears. He was surrounded by noise, the crashing, static storm and the mixture of guitar, drums, and lyrics that ran sickeningly relevant. The sound was deafening.

But he could still hear the echo of her retreating footsteps.

He could hear her words, whispering, yelling. Ryunosuke screwed his eyes shut and fisted his dark hair. He could still see the rapid rise and fall of her ample chest as she clutched the discarded uniform to herself. He could still see the redness around her nose, the dampness of her cheeks as she stood before him. He could still hear her sharp intake of breath, her pleading expression.

“Get out of here, Naomi.”

Her bottom lip trembled and she caught it with her teeth, “Ryu, please--”

He fixed his dark stare on her, “Go.”

“But…” her shoulders jerked and a small sob escaped. She berated herself for showing the weakness; she didn't want him feeling sorry for her. She wanted to show him she was strong. But…

That didn't really matter anymore, did it?

“I love you!”

She was a true vision of desperation, only the determination had been drained from her eyes. Her eyes…those deep, dark, beautiful eyes…

Shattered.

He pulled his face from his hands in shock when he felt the dampness. His eyes widened when he got the visual confirmation and saw the glistening moisture in his palms. He slowly touched his fingers to his cheeks. He was crying. For the first time in a long time…

Nagara Ryunosuke was crying.

“Fuck.”

He sniffed and wiped the moisture from under his nose with the back of his hand, cleaning the light trail off on his sheets and standing up. His heartbeat was slow, but he could still hear it over the music and the storm. And the screaming in his head. His insides twisted suddenly, as if someone had shoved their fist into his gut, and icy claws gripped his ankles. He doubled over and collapsed to the ground, eyes shut tight, arms clutching at his stomach and tears running freely.

He could still hear everything.

She swallowed, “I u-understand,” and took a step toward him. She let the damp shirt that was covering her drop and she reached her arms out to him. “E-even if you don't care about me…I still want you, Ryu.”

He panicked and jerked away from her, “What the hell are you talking about!? Just piss off!” His hands were tight fists at his sides. He was trying so hard not to look at her.

“Why do you have to be like this?”she whispered under her breath, “I want you so much.”

A clap of thunder, he could still hear it. He remembered how the lightning had flashed and illuminated her. Her cheeks were shiny and wet, her amazing chest was heaving. She had hugged herself, wrapped her arms around her slim waist, unconsciously pushing her breasts together and creating a lovely crevice between them. He could hear her heart beating in that place. He imagined it would be so warm and soft. It would smell like Naomi.

He wanted to bury his face there.

Ryunosuke sighed, “I'm sorry. I don't feel the same way.”

She screwed her eyes shut and shook with a sob. She felt like her ears were bleeding. She was trembling. He wanted to wrap himself around her and make her warm, but he would only hurt her.

Their eyes met and his stomach twisted, “C-can we still be friends?” she asked.

He lowered his gaze to the floor.

“Not anymore.”

And just like that, she had done it. She had ruined their friendship. Just like that, the knife that had been lodged in her heart for so long pulled away and let the blood run. At least…

At leastnowshe had nothing to lose.

He shivered and curled up into a ball on the hard floor. He felt cold. It was so different. A stark contrast to her smile, her eyes, the feeling of her soft, soft skin pressed up against his naked chest…

“Please don't do this, Naomi.”

The storm outside had ebbed and there was only the light thrum of rain on the rooftops now. His CD player was silent, the last song had played. The screaming in his head had stopped. He realized that he had stopped breathing, too, and gasped, sucking in a gulp of air and almost choking on it.

Icy hands clawed at him from every side.

“Just leave!”

Ryunosuke wrenched himself off the floor and moved back into a sitting position, his back resting against the bed. He drew his legs up toward his chest and folded his arms, resting them on his knees. His head fell back onto the mattress, his stubble covered chin sticking out and his long throat exposed, Adam's apple bobbing. He could still hear her retreating footsteps. The echo bounced around in his head, ping-ponging from side to side. He felt sick.

Guilt.

He could still hear her steady breathing; he could still see the shattered look in her eyes. The young agent twitched as the bile rose in his throat, burning and stinging as he was forced to swallow it. The corners of his eyes were pink and raw from the tears and his eyelashes all stuck together. The sounds tormented him, stayed stuck in his mind. Her small whimper, her little gasp.

The loud slap when he backhanded her across the face.

He could still hear it.

***

“Jen?”

I missedyou so much.

Alexander yawned and stretched his arms up above his head, closing the front door to the much cleaner apartment with a foot. The red digital numbers on the clock in the kitchen blared ten o'clock as the agent dropped a pile of papers onto a bench nearby.

He poked his head out of the kitchen and looked down the hallway, “Baby? I'm home.”

Nothing.

The beginnings of panic settled into his stomach and that little place behind his eye began to ache. He had expected a warm welcome; Jennifer at the front door covered in candlelight and lingerie. His mind ran a mile a minute; she was never asleep this early. Alexander walked slowly down the hallway, eyes locked on the door to the bedroom. His shoes no longer grated on dust and grain as he walked, and there were no cobwebs in the way. The doorknob was still cold, but at least it didn't squeak as much.

Panic.

Like being unsure that the one you love is still alive.

His heart stopped beating and a drop of hot sweat ran from his temple to his jaw. The door opened almost soundlessly, swooping ajar on new hinges.

Warmth melted the frozen panic inside him.

Alexander closed the door carefully behind him and made his way quietly to her sleeping form. The edge of the bed sunk under his weight when he sat beside Jennifer, and she mumbled and stirred a bit at the disturbance. She lay on her side, hands tucked in under her head with a long sleeved shirt that covered up to her fingertips. Alexander let out a sigh and touched her hair; a big, brown, silky mess all over the pillow and her face. He pushed it behind her ears and neck so he could see her beautiful features and the delicate column of her neck. Her skin was soft beneath his touch, warm and smooth. He stroked her cheek with the back of his fingers and caressed her closed eyelids with the pad of his thumb. She looked so peaceful.

“I love you,” He spoke in the silence.

Enough of that.

I smell like shit.He needed a shower. With reluctance, Alexander rose from his comfortable position and made his way to the small adjoining bathroom, feet dragging and shoulders hunched. Thanks to Jennifer, improvements had also been made in the dingy bathroom, and thanks to her nagging, they had a small share of hot water to enjoy.

The sound of running water erupted from the showerhead and the teenager stripped himself of his school uniform. The stiff black blazer was the first to go, the high collar skimming his jaw as he slipped it off his torso. He tugged the hem of his white undershirt from his pants and pulled it over his head, messing up his hair carelessly in the process. Steam began to fog up the mirror and distorted his reflection as more of his hard body was revealed. Grey briefs decorated the top of the pile of discarded clothing and a hard clank sounded when his handgun met the floor. The shower curtain closed behind him, encasing the hot water and the steam.

His muscles relaxed instantly and he tipped his face toward the jutting water. His hair flopped down around his face as it dampened and framed his dark features. His brows furrowed together when he remembered the day's events; his and Jennifer's interrupted passion in the janitor's closet, the worry of leaving her to go home alone, the frustration of getting nowhere - yet again - in the investigation. He braced an arm against the cold shower wall, bending it at the elbow. Alexander leaned forward; rested his forehead on his forearm and he sighed, keeping his eyes closed and his shoulders hunched.

He twitched in surprise when soft hands touched his shoulders and a very warm, very naked body pressed against his back.

Jennifer whispered against his skin, “Hey you,” her hands began to rub and massage his tired muscles, earning a happy sigh from her lover, “You ok?”

He turned abruptly and pulled her to him, a light wet slap sounding when their bodies met, every inch of their skin touching; “Now I am.”

He leaned in and angled his head to seal her lips with his. She was his drug, his pain-killer, his scented candle, and he needed to have all of her. He played with her tongue while his hands moved to massage her lower back.

Jennifer reached behind him to the small rack on the wall and groped around for the shampoo bottle, squeezing a good amount of the pearly coloured soap into the palm of her hand. Alexander bit her neck and moaned against her skin when she buried her hands into his hair. He was rendered helpless; she rubbed the scented shampoo all over, massaging his scalp and making his right eye twitch.

He realized his eyes had drifted shut when she giggled, and he opened them to see his girl looking up at him, her hair longer with the weight of the water and her breasts coming up between them; all wet and shiny. He opened his mouth to say something, but the thought flitted away and his eyes closed again at the sensation of her hands rubbing his head just the right way and her hips pushing lightly into his hard member.

Alexander leaned into Jennifer, having just enough consciousness to absently thrust himself against her. His eye went spastic and chills ran down his spine when a soapy hand slithered between them and wrapped around his aching shaft.

She whispered into his ear, and he heard her perfectly well over the rushing noise of water; “Do you want to fuck me against the wall, or should I get on all fours right here?”

He turned them around and slammed her against the wall.

He growled into her hear and hoisted her higher so her breasts were in reach. Jennifer cooperated, hooking her legs over his arms and arching her back, giving him an eyeful and moaning eagerly. He whispered darkly, “Feeling a bit kinky, are we?”

The young woman bit her lip when he started work on her assets, licking the droplets of water from the baby soft underside of the generous globes.

She gasped when his tongue reached a pert nipple, “I've always wanted you to do me in the shower.”

He smirked that dark, sexy smirk, even with a mouthful of tit, “Really now...” he sucked harder and released the flesh with a pop, giving the rosy tip a little nibble for effect, “Anything else you want to tell me about?”

Dark irises met pale green and Alexander breathed heavily, kissing his way to the other breast. Her ass was in his hands as he held her up, her knees hooked with his bent elbows and his stomach pressed against her hot cunt.

She swallowed, averting his eyes and flushing a little in embarrassment. He pulled his mouth from her and smiled.

“Something wrong, little girl?” He kissed the very tip of her nipple and let her enjoy the sensation a bit before pulling away again, “Embarrassed to tell daddy your little secrets?”

She frowned; “It's harder than you think...” her hands ran little patterns on his back and played with the hair at the nape of his neck.

He scoffed, “No it's not,” he stood up straight, “Here, look, I'll go first,” Alexander stuck her in place with his gaze, his light-hearted attitude suddenly going intense. He leaned in and took her breath away with a searing kiss. Jennifer whimpered and her hands clutched at his hair. He ended the kiss all too soon though, and looked into her eyes again, leaning in but further to the side so he could whisper with hot breath into her ear;

“I've always wanted to watch you in bed with Naomi.”

Her jaw dropped and she stared into his smug face while the water showered onto them. Alexander hoisted her up again, securing her ass in his hands and hunching over, returning to the business of worshipping her flushed breasts. He kept himself occupied, smiling on the outside but feeling a little exposed deep down.

“I...” Jennifer began. He grazed his teeth over a nipple in encouragement, “I've...” she glanced to the side, through the gap of the shower curtain and to the floor, landing her gaze to the heap of clothes.

“Come on, Jenny,” Alexander said absently, seeming pre-occupied with his thoughts, “It's not like you to be shy,” He shifted his weight, glancing from side to side and frowning a little.

He was trying to figure out how to get his face in Jennifer's pussy.

“Well...” Jennifer continued. Alexander concluded that having her sit up on his shoulders was stupid, and the floor wasn't looking very inviting, so he kept her up and continued to lavish attention to her torso, “Are you even listening?” He licked and kissed his way to her neck and sucked the water from her skin. Her taste was driving him insane and the slick warmth pressed against his stomach was making him throb.

He wasn't listening.

“I've always wanted you to fuck me with your gun.”

He froze.

Alexander straightened up and faced her, nose to nose. Jennifer trembled, nipples stiff, core aching for the Sigma agent she was wrapped around. He opened his mouth to say something, but the look in his eyes said it all. A dark, sinful, filthy promise. He didn't get to say it though.

The hot water ran out.

“Shit!”

Thousands of icicles thundered down onto the two bodies as they scrambled to escape the shower. Alexander practically yelped, struggling to twist the handle that would halt the freezing waterfall. Jennifer flailed about, threw her boy-toy off balance and sent both of them plummeting to the bathroom floor. Very graceful.

Alexander managed to twist around and absorb some of the impact, but it didn't change the fact that the floor was very hard and cold.

Jennifer sat up first, “You ok, baby?” His predatory stare was back as if nothing had happened, dark eyes making her heart beat a little faster. The girl felt his hands creep to her hips...Jennifer quickly got up, smiling and grabbing a towel from the nearby rack.

He grasped at her ankles but she jumped just out of his reach, “Hey!” She giggled, skipping out of the bathroom and leaving young master Craft naked and wet on the cold tiles, “Bitch.”

He frowned, his eyes following the movement of her posterior as she pranced away. Alexander sat up, wincing at the pain in his elbow. It'll probably beabig, fatbruise tomorrow...

The pain didn't matter.

He shuffled around his pile of clothes and got to his feet in an instant, catching his determined reflection in the mirror. He gave himself a curt nod and stalked out of the bathroom towards the bed where he could see Jennifer, in all her naked glory, lying there waiting.

He took his gun with him.

***

“Morning, Nagara-kun,”

A cheerful Alexander skipped up to his friend's side, putting his arm on the shorter agent's shoulder. He leaned forward to see the expression on the boy's face, waiting for him to get angry or grumble `Not today, Amekou.'

Nothing.

Ryunosuke's eyes were dull, his mouth slack, shoulders slumped, feet dragging. The headset of earphones that usually sat in his hair or slung from his neck were gone, and the confidence in which one Nagara Ryunosuke usually walked seemed to be drained from him.

“Oi,” Alexander began, “What's up with you?”

Ryunosuke turned away.

I can't look into your eyes anymore, Amekou.

He stared at the plants along the side of the footpath, wet and dewy from the rain, “Did you get any information last night?” he asked.

Just like that, Alexander's mood darkened and a scowl marred his relaxed features, “Nothing,” he grumbled, “The only reaction I got was from Sato, but she didn't exactly say it was him.”

Ryunosuke's gaze lowered to the floor, the concrete crackled and muddy, “Souda.”

There was a stretch of silence and the two continued to make their way down the path that would take them to Agate High School. The morning was humid and the clouds still hung overhead from the night's storm. The moisture in the air made it thick, made it hard to breathe, like they were walking through a heavy cloud that belonged in the sky. Or maybe it was just the weight on their shoulders that was pushing them down.

“Where's Jennifer?”

Alexander perked up and raised an eyebrow at the unexpected question, “She had some stuff to do before school...” Heh, probably out buying herself some crutches.

“Souda.”

The American wasn't satisfied, since when did Ryunosuke show any interest in Jen? It's not like they were friends, and just yesterday Jennifer was wondering weather or not the guy even liked her, “Why do you ask?”

No answer.

What the hell is up with you, Nagara?

Alexander didn't miss the dark bags under his partner's eyes, the dejected quality of his deep voice. He opened his mouth to speak, but something caught his attention ahead. Both boys snapped their heads up toward the school. Crowds of students. Chattering.

Police sirens.

The American frowned, “The cops?” his eyes widened, “Was there another attack!?”

“No,” Ryunosuke said, “They know the rapist is under our jurisdiction,” his mouth was set in a firm line, “It's something else.”

What else is there?

“Let's go.”

He nodded to his partner and the pair sped up their pace. Blue and red flashed over the students that had gathered around the two police cars, some standing afar in groups and whispering to each other under their umbrellas, some pestering the policemen with questions. They saw the principle, standing strong and tall, looking rather grim while teachers ushered the students inside. The school bell rang louder than the sirens, and the groups of teenagers were forced to get to class.

Wet footprints dotted the locker area and the teens shook out their umbrellas and changed shoes for the day. The chattering and whispering that filled the classrooms was overwhelming. All the seniors took their seats, and the teacher at the front of the class tried to keep the noise down. Ryunosuke sat, observing the room. Three empty seats. Endo Aiko was away, and again, Kaji.

Naomi was gone, too. He felt sick.

The room went silent when two police officers stepped in. They surveyed the room, waiting for everyone to get settled before they began, backs straight, hats off. Ryunosuke watched, glanced to his side at Alexander, whose heel was tapping the floor. His eye was twitching, too. He shifted his gaze to one of the policemen, tall and grey. His hairline was receding and the veins on his lightly wrinkled hands stuck out. He was the one to speak first, and he got right to the point. He cleared his throat, coughing a little, eyes sad.

“Your classmate, Ryoji Kaji, was found dead, hanging from his neck in his room.”

Everyone gasped. Seta, the boy's best friend, exploded in denial.

“What!? He would never do that!”

And it was understandable. Kaji was probably the most cheerful person in the school, the short, spiky-haired bundle of sexist jokes. Everyone's face fell, all excitement completely drained from them. The room was silent once more, and all Ryunosuke could hear was the sniffling of the few that had broken into tears, the pitter-patter of the rain that had started up again outside, and the cruel thundering of his own heart.

The next policeman spoke, “We will be taking each of you aside today for questioning, and your principal has guaranteed your co-operation,” He was younger, short and stocky, but more official-looking, and the fat bunched around his elbows so much that they were dark indents on his arms; “We will proceed in alphabetical order, and call your name from the speaker system. When you hear your name, please make your way to the Principal's office immediately.”

Seta got up and flipped his desk over, storming out of the room with tears in his eyes.

He continued without giving the boy a second glance, “Aehara Rei, please follow us for quesioning,” The girl that was Aehara Rei rose from her seat with her head down, nodding.

The students heard an anguished cry echo in the hallway.

“The rest of you please wait for your name to be called. We thank you for your co-operation.”

Ryunosuke watched as Aehara followed the policemen, and listened as official-sounding footsteps left the room. The students stayed quiet afterwards, passing around tissues and feeling too depressed or shocked to do any work. All day, Ryunosuke watched them silently, listening only to the rain outside and his heavy, beating heart.

Guilt.

Like knowing you're responsible for a person's suicide.

***

“Nagara?”

Alexander stepped tentatively into his partner's house, noticing the neatness of the small kitchen and living room. A fan swung round and round on the ceiling above, the wind rustling papers on the dining table. He shook the rain off himself and slipped off his shoes, leaving them by the door.

“Nagara,” he called, looking around for his friend, “Oi! Where are you?”

He hesitated before he made his way up the narrow stairwell that would lead him to the boy's room. The door creaked on its hinges, swinging a little and revealing a slit view of Nagara Ryunosuke's bedroom. He knocked on it lightly with the back of his knuckles before he entered. Ryunosuke was sitting at the edge of his bed, head down and hair shading his face. His hands were at his sides, gripping the mattress tightly.

They were trembling.

Alexander sat carefully next to him, the bed sinking under his weight and tipping Ryunosuke a little towards him. The American sighed in the silence, “So you heard,” He fixed his gaze toward the balcony door, open and letting the afternoon rain in, “Naomi's been reported missing.”

Ryunosuke stiffened.

“I gather you're responsible?” Alexander chuckled, “She was seen on a train, heading south. My guess is she'll be in Tokyo by now.”

There was more silence.

Alexander nudged his friend, “So why haven't you gone after her yet?”

The deep rumble of Nagara Ryunosuke's voice sounded around the room, “She hates me now,” he took a deep breath, shoulders rising, “There would be no point in it.” He let it out, long, heavy, rustling the hair around his face.

“Ah,” the taller boy nodded, turning to his friend, “But you know that you're the only one that can bring her back. Her parents are awfully worried.”

“They hate me.”

Alexander rolled his eyes and reached into his pocket, “Get your ass to Tokyo and find her,” he shoved the train ticket into Ryunosuke's hands, “And don't scare her off this time.”

Black eyes crept to the paper in his palms, “You don't know what I said to her. You don't know what I did,” he relaxed his hands and let the ticket float to the floor. Strong wind blew specks of water into the room and rattled the balcony doors. The ticket stayed put.

The Sigma agent snatched it up and shoved it back toward his friend, frowning, “Suck it up and apologize. I don't care if you aren't head over heels for the girl; I know she's important to you,” he paused, and Ryunosuke looked into his eyes for the first time that day, “and I know she'll forgive you.”

And Ryunosuke believed him.

“Alright.”

Water droplets dotted the floor and the wind rustled their clothes.

Make it the single good thing I've done in my life.

A smile broke out onto Alexander's face and he got up, pulling Ryunosuke with him and patting the boy on the back, “Good.”

The Japanese boy made his way to his closet as the weight slowly lifted off his shoulders, shuffling around his clothes and producing a backpack. He emerged again from the small adjoining room and set it on his bed, only to disappear again and bring out more things that he'd need for the trip. He packed everything he got from Ro, intent on taking advantage of the resources he'd been given to find Naomi.

He chuckled inside; the people that ruined his life would be helping him now.

He zipped the bag when he was done and slung it over his shoulder. The corners of his mouth curled slightly and he spoke the words that people rarely heard from him; “Arigatou.”

He looked Alexander in the eyes.

“Hey, no problem,” Craft smiled, “Listen, I learned a new word the other day,”

Ryunosuke quirked an eyebrow, “Nanda?” he secured the collar of his black Ro jacket, pausing his actions to regard his friend again before he left. Alexander spoke seriously.

The rain spat at them, the wind howled.

“Kyoudai.”

For what I've done
I'll start again
And whatever pain may come
Today this ends
I'm forgiving what I've done

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To Be Continued...

Souda ~ `I see' (sorta <.<)

Kyoudai ~ Brothers (or siblings)

R&R please <3