Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ Rambling Romance ❯ Declaration ( Chapter 1 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
“I’m in love with her.” Colt’s smooth tenor informed me on the other line. I’d barely gotten out a greeting before he’d informed me of his newest epiphany and then I was struck dumb, faltering for something to say and hoping that my voice wouldn’t betray the way I was actually feeling. After all, it wasn’t as if I hadn’t known it was coming. I was honestly surprised it had taken him this long to come to that conclusion considering he’d been dating Tiffany for nearly six months now. Maybe he was being more careful now, trying avoid the coming heartache. I certainly hoped so.
It was funny how these declarations always seemed to stab painfully at my chest, how I never seemed to get used to it even after all this time. How long had we been in this unfaltering repetition? Three years? How many girlfriends was that? Four? Five? They all seemed to blend together in my brain, none any different from the ones before her. And I was absolutely certain that Tiffany, end the end, would be just like them; just another blur on the list.
The unfortunate thing about Colt was that he wore his heart practically on his sleeve. He was honest and caring and romantic and sweet and so full of love, exactly the kind of guy that every girl dreamed of. Yet he always seemed to find the girls who took that kind of thing for granted, who wanted more though I couldn’t be certain what else they could possibly need. If I were in their place, I’d hold on tight and never let go. It’s what I’d wanted for years. But I had to be satisfied with the role I’d been given, his friend.,
“Myra, you still there?”
I still hadn’t answered, I realized, and grasped for something to say. “That’s good, Colt, really. I’m glad you’re happy,” I told him sincerely. I really was glad that he was happy with Tiffany. I just worried. He felt everything so strongly; it was hard to see him hurt. Maybe she loves him, too, I thought to myself and squeezed my eyes shut at the idea. Horrible as it was of me to think it, I didn’t like the idea.
“Well, anyway, we’re coming down for Christmas. Maybe I’ll see you?” I could hear the grin in his voice and I couldn’t help but to smile myself even though I knew that Tiffany would do everything in her power to keep that from happening. I’d met her only twice, but it was easy enough to see that she didn’t like me. She hated the way he and I joked and how he touched my arm or put his arm around my shoulders. She even hated the way he spoke to me. I smiled smugly just thinking about it. Was I a horrible person for enjoying the fact that she thought of me as competition?
“Just give me a call when you’re here and we’ll arrange it,” I told him feeling a little better.
I could hear his engine cutting off in the background and knew that he’d made it to work or home, whichever place he’d been headed. As usual he’d called me during the drive. “I guess I’ll talk to you later then, sweetheart.”
I couldn’t help but smile when he called me that. “Bye, hon.” I hung up the phone feeling torn. Part of me – the sweet, wholesome side of me that usually controlled my thoughts and actions – hoped that Tiffany would be just as much in love with him as he was with her, that she would stay and make him happy. But there was that other part of me – the vindictive, selfish side like the devil on my shoulder – who hoped that she would be just like the others and push him one step closer to me. Maybe he’d see after he recovered from this heartache that I was here and that I always would be, just waiting for him to figure it out.
I wanted him to be happy, really and truly I did, but I loved him. I had loved him since the time we met and it had been my so-called best friend who broke his heart. I hated that side of me that hoped Tiffany would leave him because I knew he’d be devastated. What I really wanted, though, more than that, was for Colt to leave her. I wanted him to realize what had been in front of him all this time, to see that when I said I loved him, I meant it.
And if that wasn’t going to happen I wanted to be able to move on; to be a part of his life without it hindering mine. I wanted to be able to be with someone else without comparing him to Colt. I wanted to kiss someone without thinking how it would be different if it was him I was kissing. I wanted my heart back.
Falling across the bed, I buried my head in my arms. Why? Why did love have to be so gosh darned difficult? Why couldn’t it be like in fairy tales where the prince met the princess and they fell in love and lived happily ever after?
Because you’re not a princess, obviously, I answered my own question mentally. Stupid details.
Well, the situation with Colt wasn’t going to solve itself today…probably not even this year, so I might as well do something constructive. With an evaluating glance in the mirror, I deemed myself suitable enough to venture outside and decided to go shopping. I could use the calming affects of a sales tag right now. After all, as Scarlett once said: Tomorrow is another day.
It was funny how these declarations always seemed to stab painfully at my chest, how I never seemed to get used to it even after all this time. How long had we been in this unfaltering repetition? Three years? How many girlfriends was that? Four? Five? They all seemed to blend together in my brain, none any different from the ones before her. And I was absolutely certain that Tiffany, end the end, would be just like them; just another blur on the list.
The unfortunate thing about Colt was that he wore his heart practically on his sleeve. He was honest and caring and romantic and sweet and so full of love, exactly the kind of guy that every girl dreamed of. Yet he always seemed to find the girls who took that kind of thing for granted, who wanted more though I couldn’t be certain what else they could possibly need. If I were in their place, I’d hold on tight and never let go. It’s what I’d wanted for years. But I had to be satisfied with the role I’d been given, his friend.,
“Myra, you still there?”
I still hadn’t answered, I realized, and grasped for something to say. “That’s good, Colt, really. I’m glad you’re happy,” I told him sincerely. I really was glad that he was happy with Tiffany. I just worried. He felt everything so strongly; it was hard to see him hurt. Maybe she loves him, too, I thought to myself and squeezed my eyes shut at the idea. Horrible as it was of me to think it, I didn’t like the idea.
“Well, anyway, we’re coming down for Christmas. Maybe I’ll see you?” I could hear the grin in his voice and I couldn’t help but to smile myself even though I knew that Tiffany would do everything in her power to keep that from happening. I’d met her only twice, but it was easy enough to see that she didn’t like me. She hated the way he and I joked and how he touched my arm or put his arm around my shoulders. She even hated the way he spoke to me. I smiled smugly just thinking about it. Was I a horrible person for enjoying the fact that she thought of me as competition?
“Just give me a call when you’re here and we’ll arrange it,” I told him feeling a little better.
I could hear his engine cutting off in the background and knew that he’d made it to work or home, whichever place he’d been headed. As usual he’d called me during the drive. “I guess I’ll talk to you later then, sweetheart.”
I couldn’t help but smile when he called me that. “Bye, hon.” I hung up the phone feeling torn. Part of me – the sweet, wholesome side of me that usually controlled my thoughts and actions – hoped that Tiffany would be just as much in love with him as he was with her, that she would stay and make him happy. But there was that other part of me – the vindictive, selfish side like the devil on my shoulder – who hoped that she would be just like the others and push him one step closer to me. Maybe he’d see after he recovered from this heartache that I was here and that I always would be, just waiting for him to figure it out.
I wanted him to be happy, really and truly I did, but I loved him. I had loved him since the time we met and it had been my so-called best friend who broke his heart. I hated that side of me that hoped Tiffany would leave him because I knew he’d be devastated. What I really wanted, though, more than that, was for Colt to leave her. I wanted him to realize what had been in front of him all this time, to see that when I said I loved him, I meant it.
And if that wasn’t going to happen I wanted to be able to move on; to be a part of his life without it hindering mine. I wanted to be able to be with someone else without comparing him to Colt. I wanted to kiss someone without thinking how it would be different if it was him I was kissing. I wanted my heart back.
Falling across the bed, I buried my head in my arms. Why? Why did love have to be so gosh darned difficult? Why couldn’t it be like in fairy tales where the prince met the princess and they fell in love and lived happily ever after?
Because you’re not a princess, obviously, I answered my own question mentally. Stupid details.
Well, the situation with Colt wasn’t going to solve itself today…probably not even this year, so I might as well do something constructive. With an evaluating glance in the mirror, I deemed myself suitable enough to venture outside and decided to go shopping. I could use the calming affects of a sales tag right now. After all, as Scarlett once said: Tomorrow is another day.