Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ The Boy on Page One ❯ Evil lives here ( Chapter 5 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

"Toni is adorable," Emiko is saying as she scrubs at a sticky stain on the couch. "but I can outline her entire journey through our house by the leftovers of what she'd been eating." Yup. Stickybun goo. Why didn't she just set it back down on the paper plate, Mrs. Krenn will never know. At least it won't stain or leave any noticeable traces.

"Did Gev go home?" Trevor asked when hearing knocking from overhead. It started a little while ago, and he saw Hakuo head upstairs. But, he thought he was alone.

"Yes, he left with Yakusoku and Ludwig."

It was still very strange to find out what her son had done, even stranger that Yakusoku is a living breathing person now. But, in their world strange isn't often all that unusual; what with being within a family tree peppered with psychics. One gets used to weird; her son seemed to tip the scale on how far the levels could go.

Trevor figured he was jumping on the bed, but, that didn't fit his son's personality at all. "I'm gonna go check on him." Setting down the accumulated plates and paper cups, he then heads up the stairs to his son's bedroom.

He hoped the Russian didn't doubleback without anyone noticing; he doesn't mind Hakuo having 'activity' in his bedroom, but he doesn't want to embarrass him by walking in on it. That's what the knocking sounds like from downstairs. Sex. As he reached the door, and gave a knock, it doesn't sound like two people are inside.

"Hak', you ok?" Opening the door, he took a moment of shock before he called downstairs for his wife to call an ambulance. Hurrying over to the bed, he scooped up the seizing young man and held him. "Hak'? Hakuo, can you hear me?" He pats his arm. "Hakuo? Hakuo!?"

Inside, Hakuo is drowning. No. He's not drowning, this is quicksand. He's sinking by getting pulled down. Down, down deep in the trenches of his mind. He's drowning - and dammit it all, why now?! Why now when he's at home, and he's safe, do they choose to come after him? The problems, the gripes, the reality that things are all wrong…

"Hakuo!"

It's black. It's darkness all around him and he's falling… No-no, he's moving much too slowly, he actually is drowning, isn't he? Slipping deep into the trenches of a familiar feeling that's impossible for him to shake. It's exhausting. It's hyperventilating. Why can't he ever just get things right? He's fought this hard to come back, why blow it now? Why slip away?

'Because I didn't come this far alone,' he shifts his position so that he's now sinking at a backstroke position. 'They've all been fighting hard for me, for two whole years… Two years that I've robbed from them, yet again. But… I woke up for them. Ha! I'm not helping them, I'm hurting them. They'd all be better off if I never woke up. If they'd of given up, and pulled my plug.'

"Hakuo…"

'Don't call for me.' He says to the voices. 'Don't want me. …I'm no good for any of you.'

His eyes open; the darkness all around him somehow loses a bit of its shading. Was it just that his eyes were closed making the darkness black? All he sees now is that he can actually see. Expelling a breath, he watches a cluster of carefree bubbles drift quickly to the surface of this void. Unimpressed with the pseudo darkness, he's now seeking only air and the light.

'I wonder how many bubbles does it take to drown? To die…' Another bit of breath escapes his mouth. '33, 48, 60…'

"So that's it then? You're just giving up?"

Hakuo looks left then right. "Who's there now?"

It's nothing new to hear voices inside. The barriers of his sanctuary are broken. He's got no doors to keep the current from swirling all around, where then the hidden sharks come roaming with teeth grinning for a bite of him. And they always achieve that nip. That irreparable design of a bite that refuses to heal just right so that he'll always feel it there, even if he can't see it from the angle its been placed. They all put one there. The Diaz brothers, people like the Deakins, the lookers, and touchers. Even…

"Your loved ones," croons the hidden speaker. "If you're going to keep headstones for those who pull you under, don't forget to discredit your loved ones, and how much they care for you. How much they fought for you should no longer mean anything."

"It means everything to me; what would you know?" His breath bubbles away again. '103, 115,'

"Tch. Right. What would I know?" spat the voice, a voice so much like Hakuo's own.

It was strange hearing his voice with such clarity, words so sincere, that should carry weight.. It doesn't sound as though he really cares at all about what he's saying, he's simply speaking.

'Hn. Is that really what I sound like to people - distant and disinterested? No wonder no one understands my feelings, or takes me seriously… 125, 14…' He's feeling lightheaded and tired. So very tired… A yelp escaped him when a hand brushed between his shoulders; he flails to get away from it.

"Ohh, look who's got fight in him all of a sudden. You're scared, it's normal. But what it isn't is the end."

"Why not?" The struggle ceased, he's drifting down again. "Can't you understand how I see it?"

"Yes. So understand how I see it," replied his vocal clone. "You're letting your desire to please everyone eat away at you. You don't seem to understand how loved you are."

"You're wrong. I do understand, and that's why I should go away."

"To punish them for caring about you?"

"To relieve them of having to…"

"Selfish."

"I'm not."

It's quiet. The silence said it all. He's lied to himself one time too many. Now there really is no one there for him inside. The cracks are starting to become craters. He truly doesn't match his skin, because his strength outside doesn't seem to align with his weaknesses within to keep him sane and safe as they cancel each other out. Good. Now he can go in peace. His eyes close again, he resumes the drop. However, something is nagging at him.

'Am I really selfish?' he wonders.

As if it never left, the voice added a chip to his self-loathing pile. "And a coward."

'I'm a coward?'

"You're afraid to be loved without feeling as if you owe that person something for doing it."

Hakuo had nothing to say. Those words, that accusation… was the truth. He feels so much guilt whenever he hurts someone who cares for him, because he can't figure out or understand why they care so much. It hurts. Every time, it hurts. How can they care about him when he won't stick around for them? He means no harm, but he's always letting them down. Holding them up. Keeping them as stuck in pain as he himself is trapped. Trapped by all of those nightmares who've left their marks on him.

"Seems like you're starting to understand," whispers the voice. "It's a good time for you to.. Wake up!"

A violent shove pushed him out of his world. Back from the pseudo darkness and into the true light where his gasping breaths finally filled his lungs with air. And he found them there, his family, frightened and trying to wake him.

He looked at all of their worried expressions and just cried. He leaned into his father's relieved embrace, and he cried and cried.

...

Hakuo doesn't turn around when hearing a knock on his bedroom door; he doesn't ask the person to enter. He's just lying on his side, staring at the window down past his feet. As if he didn't feel guilty enough for causing his family to worry, now they have to pay for the ambulance that arrived for him but had to be sent away. He was taken to the hospital, anyway, so he could get checked out - just in case. He's gonna be in debt for the rest of his life. He'll have to be nicknamed 'Broke-ass Hakuo'.

"Haku'?" His mother's voice entered the room before her physical self. Walking over to the bed, she set a plate of food down on the dresser and a glass of cranberry juice. Sitting on the bed behind him; she rubs his back to comfort him. "Are you ready to talk?"

He shook his head, but said. "I will, though, I'll tell you why I freaked out…"

"I'm all ears."

Taking in an audible breath he expelled it then said. "I feel like I never should have woken up; I cost you guys so much money in medical bills; you're always missing me and waiting on me; and then there's Nathen, now he's going to become someone who's always disappointed in me, and…"

"Hold it, hold it…" She waves her hand interrupting his descend to the deepest trenches of the earth's core. "What? Hakuo, you think that we're disappointed in you?"

"Aren't you?"

"No. Kiddo, I told you in the hospital before, back in January; you do not have worry about losing our love. We're not disappointed in you; and we definitely don't sit around griping that you're recovering too slowly… We love you. We do. Thick or thin. If anything, you're recovering too quickly. And we'd like for you to slow down and take it easy on yourself."

He fell silent thinking that over.

"And why do you think we're so desperate to get rid of you?"

"I'm a burden."

Emiko chuckled and shook her head. "You don't really believe that just because you leave the house we're done taking care of you, or seeing you? Look at your brother; has he become a ghost because he lives in his own place? No. He calls every two weeks, comes for dinners or lunch three times out of the month - it'd be more than that if he didn't insist upon some leeway for something to happen that's worth phoning home about - the bum." She smiled. "You're only independently an adult, you're not a singular person just because you've moved out. And most importantly, you're not unlovable because you develop issues down the line in life."

"...But all that money," he sighs contemplatively. "We're not rich. Everytime you and dad get a check, you're gonna think 'if it weren't for Hakuo, we would be able to pay our bills'."

She drew in a breath and held it a moment while playing in his hair, brushing it behind his ear. "I hate that I'm trying hard not to laugh, but you're worrying yourself over nothing." Ceasing her playing in his hair, she rests her hand on his upper arm. "Do you remember, I told you that we were suing the hospital for negligence?" He nods. "We won the case, through a settlement. Your entire bill was cleared, and they agreed to a lump sum of hush money to keep the hospital from bad press - for all the good that did, since someone from the hospital staff spoke to the media about it. They didn't put the blame on you, sweetie."

"Great. Now I feel guilty over freaking out and causing all of this."

"Don't. Okay? Would you just stop with the guilt tripping and self loathing? You have nothing to be embarrassed about, or feel guilty over." Removing the plate from the bedside table, she hands it to him. "It's still hot, and you have to eat. Here."

Sitting up, he presses his back to the headboard; with the plate on his lap he eats a bite of salmon and rich green collard greens. He's glad he at least got to eat tacos earlier, meals like this don't usually lift his spirits.

Emiko watched her son, then smiled softly. "Hakuo, do you understand what I've said to you?"

He shrugged his shoulder, then reluctantly gave a nod. "And you're sure everything is ok? With us?"

"All of us, yes. We worry, but you worry about us, too - obviously, you worry a lot… Does it hurt when you do things like that, yes, but that's life. We're gonna care so much more for you. But you shouldn't let it hurt, as you are…"

"I don't know how to make it stop…"

"You've just gotta tell yourself that life can have disappointment, and there's nothing wrong that." Kissing his temple, she then pressed her forehead to the side of his head as she hugged him with one arm. "I can't speak for your friend, but your family is on by side - and not secretly. You rest tonight, don't let yourself think about this anymore. You've got a lot of work waiting for you this week, month, or months - there's no rush to spend that twenty-five thousand to get an apartment… as near to the house as possible,"

"Twenty-five thousand?!" Balked the young man.

And they paid for his medical bills? The hospital must have felt his size worth of guilt for a payout like that. That's one thing he doesn't feel guilt from. They really should have taken better care to think against allowing Tony Diaz to care for him. Despite it happening, they couldn't have assumed anything as horrible as rape. But with Hakuo's history with Ezio Diaz, it should have been an instant red flag that something could happen between the patient and Ezio's brother.

"Yup. We went straight to the bank with it while you recovered, and deposited it in your name." She smiled seeing the stunned look on his face. "Yeah, you're feeling better now, huh?"

"Don't tease me, I'm a recovering depressed." He said shyly, as, yes, he is feeling better. He had no idea about any of that.

His emotions about financial ruin are at an end, but the majority still stood about joining the academy. What if they deem him disabled because coma patients recoveries are often touch and go. They really can fall brain dead out of the blue at anytime in the first year.

'I guess I'll just have to see…' Thinks the worried young man.

Emiko nodded that she wouldn't tease him anymore, there's a smile on her face because she's glad that he is feeling better. "Can I ask that you always be open with us? Even if it hurts... We'll give you the same in return, but you have to believe what you hear, especially when it's good."

"I'll do my best to be more straightforwardthan I usually am."

"Thank you." Giving him one more kiss to the cheek, she leaves the bedroom; keeping the door open at a fist-sized crack to keep him together with the rest of the house. A lifeline. A lighthouse in the dark.

It was around eleven when his father knocked on the door. "Hakuo, are you asleep?"

"No."

"Mind if I come in?" He asked, entering whether it was a yes or no. "Your mother told me what you talked about," he sat on the bed, in the same place as his wife had earlier; Hakuo sat up to avoid being pinned down by the sat upon blanket. "I just wanted to make something clear to you, myself, that… I don't know where this guilt comes from or why you think you'd ever be a burden to us. Our love is for free, Hakuo, you don't owe us any trade in order to care for you and love you - let's get that straight right away. If this is because we didn't halt our daily routines to be by your side at the hospital, I'm very sorry about that, but it couldn't be helped."

Shaking his head, Hakuo says. "Oh, no… God, no. I'm actually really relieved to hear that, because a part of me thought that that's what went on - that you all stopped just to be by my side; and, in the meantime, you were at home grieving and worrying about me whenever visiting hours were over."

"We decided a long time ago not to do anything like that, when it seemed like a slippery slope that could divide our family; sitting around and wondering who was to blame, where we could aim it all - and worse, whom…" Taking his son by the shoulder he gives it a squeeze. "Believe me, we want you with us, good times and bad, but we're not gonna make you feel accountable for our existences." Tousling the young man's hair, he asks. "Are you with me on that?"

"Yeah. I really am… I should have just told you guys before, instead of sitting around and thinking about it. It's scary inside, dad, it really is. And I don't know how to make it stop."

"I'm sure the last thing you wanna hear is that you're strong and you'll find a way to face it, it kinda sounds like I'm passing on caring when really I don't know what to tell you. I can be strong for you, but you have to figure things out to be stronger for yourself, too."

Hakuo thought about that; an affirmed nod, he says. "I wanna see a therapist - a different therapist. I don't think that Mrs. Simpson has my best interest in mind; she seems more into what she can gain than give."

"Sure, sport." Getting up, he looks at his son with a smile. "Everything's gonna work out, Hakuo. I love you."

"I love you, too. And thank you, for the confidence, not the love."

Trevor was glad Hakuo understood. Love doesn't need a "thank you", that's not part of the deal when you decide to care for or love someone. Placing a comforting hand atop his son's head he then leaves the room.

Hakuo thought about what his mother had said and what his father said, and he knew that he could believe in it. He could build a shelter there, and syphon comfort from it. No medical cost. Income for an apartment. Any old place that will hire him comes next… He took in a breath through his mouth then allowed his mind to wander back inside. To what awaited him. To whom awaited him.

Morning reared its head, as it does every day. The March sky shone with a dim gray brightness that could blind you if you look around for the sun and it just popped out of nowhere.

'I hate emotional exhaustion…' mused Hakuo utterly emotionally bedridden. 'I seriously feel like I can't move.' A smile broke out on him like a surprise pimple. 'Where does depression hurt?' he thinks to himself in a rendition of a commercial he's seen dozens of times; answering the question as the commercial has, he replied. "Everywhere." He hates how true that is, his muscles are killing him. It's like he's lying on a bed of needles, except the needles are under his skin and pressing directly into the muscle. 'Who does depression hurt?' he sighed and replied. "Everyone."

If his life was a book, it'd most likely be a tragedy. Full of all his shortcomings in the reach to be a normal human being. Saturated in the despair of his inner most thoughts of guilt, self loathing, and over abudance of self pride - despair isn't all a downhill street, as more often than not pride can be just as tragic. I.e. trying to over achieve and exceed his ability's level at that stage in time. Had he waited for December... It's very possible the past two years wouldn't have been lost to him. In his book of tragedy he'd never have luck anywhere - if he's tragic, he's luckless. His brows furrowed over the word. It's not a real word 'luckless'. However for him it exist, because he's just that sort of emotionally fucked.

'With Rexulti,' he continues with the commercial in his head. 'you can turn your depression into life anew. Rexulti is in no way a helpful cure for depression. However, studies show that the horrific side effects of this drug combat against those feelings of more than sadness, leaving you with far more consuming thoughts than your depression; such as: am I going to die because of this pill? Why does my left arm hurt when I've had no signs of a heart attack before?' He smiled into a light chuckle. 'I really hope my life isn't a tragedy. I'm sick of the misfortune.'

Hakuo rolled over - and it was hard to do! It's like he's wearing a suit made of liquid metal that's hardening and trying to lock him into place. His eyes close and for 3 minutes he fell into a deep microsleep; when they popped open so suddenly, the shock of being startled only showed by a slight widening of the lids when spying an intruder exiting through the door.

"Wait, I'm awake," he calls to his sister.

Celes spun around facing him. "I didn't mean to wake you, I thought you were just lounging."

"I had been," he admitted. Seeing what she was doing, he reached for the plate of French toast on the bedside table. Sliced bananas, cream cheese, and melty peanut butter. He's being spoiled for sure, because of his under-the-weather mood as this here is an uplifting feast!

Celes is glad her brother is eating, after what her parents told her and Shuhei while they ate breakfast earlier, she expected Hakuo to flip the plate, chew her out, or tell her to go away and take the offering along with her. But, true to his nature, he seems fine. She wasn't sure whether she should marvel at his managed depression or cry. Crying wouldn't help anything, but it would make her feel better.

"I'm glad you're eating, you'll need your strength for today," she declared. "and you have to keep your weight climbing."

"I know." He stuffs another bite into his mouth. "So, what's been going on these past two years?"

"Huh?"

"Huh? Huh?" he teased. "Mom said that you all didn't wait around for me to get up -"

"But we weren't trying to be rude, or stick it to you!"

Hakuo waved his hand to brush away her concerns. "You should all know that I'm glad you went on."

"Oh. It just seemed like the thing to do." Celes sat on the floor, leaning her weight against folded arms that are resting on her brother's bed. "It was easier this time, just living on. Back when you first went missing... we didn't know where you were or why you were there, if there even was a there and you weren't just..." She let the end of that sentence hang there as it was quite obvious he could have been dead without anyone knowing where his body was dumped for all those years. "So, you were with us, even without being with us. So we just lived."

"And Nathen, did he seem ok?" He wondered from an outside perspective, as Nathen could lie to him if he asked directly. "Did you see him outside of the hospital?"

"A lot of the time, yeah. He even took me work a few times."

Cocking a brow he asked. "You work at Sweet Frog?"

Shaking her head, she says, "No. The library. I like reading so much, it seemed fitting - plus, they were hiring." Snapping her fingers for emphasis, she says. "I swiped the position quick."

He couldn't imagine there was much fight for it. It's not like a bookstore. People aren't paying they're renting. But, a steady paycheck is never a bad thing.

'So Nathen was ok, too…' He smiled to himself. Happy.

"I'll take this downstairs for you," Seeing that he's through eating, she reached for the plate.

"I'll take it. I don't wanna sit around in bed all day, I'll get stuck." Lifting the plate into the air, with his free hand he tosses the blanket away from him; scooting from the bed when Celes made room for him, he smoothed the static cling from his night pants; muttering 'ouch' when the fork gave him a little shock as it slid into his thumb.

"You've got mail downstairs."

"Just what I need, more weirdos telling me they're rooting for me or they want me to give them babies, or some other dumb nonsense."

"It might be. We didn't open any of it."

"I hope something is from the police academy; I really need to go over there and sort that out."

"Hakuo," Celes follows him into the hall, her fingers timidly tap together and her gaze looks anywhere but at him as she speaks. "Can I give you some advice?"

"Sure. Shoot."

Releasing a breath, she nods to herself that she can and should say it, before she loses her nerve and backs out. It's not a bad thing, but it still could be taken in the wrong context. And the last thing she wants is to have him misunderstand that things are going to go up from here - even if not at first. He can do it right this time. They can all get it right.

"I just think that you should stop.. making," she muttered.

"Celie, do I scare you all of a sudden? Look at me," he cocks his head in attempt to meet her eyes, and he smiled when she looked up and met his gaze. "Thank you. Say what you have to say, always; I'm not scary. I'm not gonna bite you…"

Celes scoffed then smiled. "I know… It's just that, you did this before when you came home two years ago - making lists. It only makes you feel suffocated and left behind… Please, just take things day-by-day until the fog clears, I mean really clears. When you wake up and groan that you don't wanna go to work just because it's wet out, or you've become annoyed that you've been on dish duty all week like I'm avoiding them on purpose…" She smiled as if she intended to do just that at some point. "Just breathe in and out, and live. Not for later on, but for right now."

Hakuo looked like a photograph, he was that frozen.

"Hak'?" Celes was about to ask if he was alright, but only a word came out before she was cut off. "Are..?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, I was just thinking about what you said.. I'm letting it sink in." Turning, he heads for the stairs. "When I was a kid, I'd always lived in the moment - mentally and physically. But having grown up, I thought I'd just make a list and get it together. I thought that that would work for me, but it hadn't - not when I first got back. You're right, Celie, it's not gonna work now."

Pleased that she could help, if it helped, she smiled. "Meaning you'll stop and take a breather?"

"Yeah. I'm gonna take a breather. I'm gonna slow down and just focus on one thing."

Half hearing the conversation, Shuhei says. "Good. Focus on your health, come on." He clapped his then clasped his hands together as if playing with an unfocused puppy. "Shower and dress in something comfortable, we're going for a bike ride."

Grimaced, Hakuo looks at the clock. "Now?"

"No, tomorrow, I want you ready ahead of time - yes, now. Come on, while it's a little warmer out."

Hakuo's gaze shot to the thermostat. "It's 48 degrees freezing outside, and you wanna go for a bike ride?"

"The cold slows the aging process, and is good for the bloodstream to get through the woodwork once your body warms up."

Brows furrowed, Hakuo calls. "Moooom, Shu's trying to kill me."

Somewhere in the home came his mother's voice, saying in reply. "Shuhei, stop trying to kill your brother."

Sticking out his tongue, Hakuo chuckled as he fled his older brother's reach; shoving his empty, dirty plate into his Shuhei's hands in his place. "Pick something we can do indoors to get the bloodstream going." He called over his shoulder as he charged up the stairs for the bathroom to shower.

Seeing the look his sister is giving him, Shuhei shrugs his hand. "What? The guy is 30 pounds underweight, he needs to get his health back before his system doesn't wanna bother anymore." Taking the plate over to the sink he rinsed it then stuffed it into the dishwasher.

"I didn't say anything."

"No, but you looked it." He rung out his wet hands.

"Just… take it easy on him. Okay?"

"I promise, I will. Nothing too strenuous."

"Good. I'm going to work, see you later."

"You won't actually, I'm going home later."

"Oh. Well, bye then," she hugs him and kissed his cheek, then left for the front door to grab her sneakers and coat.

# #

"I've discovered something about myself just now," says Nathen.

"What's that?" Hakuo straightened up from his bowed position after having formally apologized to his friend for unintentionally holding up the progression on his life.

"I can not take an apology. I can't. I feel.. I don't know, almost ashamed that you did it." He scratched his nose, looking embarrassed.

"You suck. I'm pouring my heart out here, and you're embarrassed to take it." Sitting on the floor of his friend's bedroom, he leans his back against the bed.

"It's your own fault," he holds his tablet over to Hakuo to take. "I really missed you, though. And I'm glad you woke up; I didn't have a thought that you wouldn't."

"Obviously, you're still a homebody."

"It's surprisingly easy to just be at home," confessed the dubious-natured young man. "It took the pressure off that, y'know, maybe I wouldn't be able to to do and I'd eventually end up back here anyway."

"That's fine by me," Hakuo taps on the screen bringing up listings for apartments. "Now we can still get our place."

"Yeah." He lies on his stomach, looking over Hakuo's shoulder at the screen. "There's a lot of places to choose from, but what are we gonna do about the money? I'm kinda using my job money to pay for school."

"Not a problem, I've got hush-money from the hospital. We can get a place with that."

"Yeah? How much?"

"Twenty-five thousand."

"Shut up. That's a house!"

Hakuo snickered. "Let's not lose our heads getting drunk off zeros, that's a passable apartment."

"Either way, we're not gonna have to bathe in the toilet and brush our teeth when it rains."

Hakuo laughed so suddenly it cause Nathen to jump from startle, then he laughed as well. The thought was sadly hilarious.

"This is why you're head of our sketch scripts department, you're funny."

Nathen grinned. "Head, huh? I like that. Speaking of which, do you still wanna be in sketches with us? It's cool if you want to."

"Do you want me to?" He enlarges a photo of a bedroom then begins imagining his bedroom furniture in it. "Should we get a place already furnished? It'll save money."

"What save, we're rich!"

"Rich doesn't mean stupid. We've gotta live there for a long time, not a minute."

"Okay, my thrifty bud, let's go for premade living with light touches of us." He grabs his other tablet. "It'll go faster if we look separately together."

"Mhmm."

"Hey, and have you noticed something great?" He says once he's seated cross-legged on his bed. "Vann's not here."

"Did he go out and meet his end on some black ice?"

"Umm.. He's got a job at the mall." He ignored the macabre comment.

Nathen actually kind of made up with his brother - for real this time. They've been companionable with each other over the two years Hakuo's been in a coma. It's been really nice. And hopefully it's sincere, and not just a latent ploy to be close to Hakuo again.

"He works in the food court, the little pretzel shop."

"I like a good pretzel," murmured Krenn.

It's nice that the layabout has a job, but he doesn't care about him heads-or-tails. He's still on the 'Fuck You' list of persons that Hakuo cannot stand. He will always reside there. Vann Small is one of those people that are always pulling him under, when the content inside the open doors in his mind wash him around.

His mind. He was suddenly reminded of the fact that he couldn't find whomever is roaming around in his head. And there is someone there, he can feel it. Or, perhaps, it's just the loss of his gift and the new found ability to see ghost that's messing with him? But someone was speaking to him yesterday as he was going under. He just has to find him.

"Where are you going to school? Is it far from your house?"

"Two hours."

"We should find somewhere close by then, to save on gas."

Nathen marvelled at his friend. "You really are thrifty."

"Thanks." It's one of the nicest things he's ever heard.

"Shit, what time is it?" Nathen's gaze flew to his digital wall clock. "We gotta go." Shutting off the tablet, he grabbed the plug and jammed it into the device, and the other end into the wall.

"I didn't think it was so late." Hakuo turns off the device, setting it down on his friend's bed. "Where are my sneakers?"

"Why'd you take 'em off?" he's out the bedroom door and is followed by the socked-feet Krenn.

"For the same reason you leave yours on all day, it just makes sense to me," spotting his kicks by the front door he stepped into them; jamming his finger under his heel, he tugs the back up over his foot.

"I was wondering if you boys had changed your minds," Mrs. Small was saying while watched them from the living room couch as they suit up against the cold. "Drive safely."

"What are we gonna do about all of those offense mailboxes, if we drive carefully?" Nathen joked.

"You'd better be joking."

Nathen and Hakuo say goodbye as they exit quickly, in order to keep the heat inside the home, through the door.

"Mind if I film us?" Nathen asks, as he carefully made his way to his car. How on Earth does it snow in March he'll never know.

"No. But, why? Nothing's happening."

"I've started vlogging."

The pair are in the car strapping themselves in before extending their cold hands towards the heater vents, that even on high struggles to warm them and the car any faster than it can. Nathen mentioned something about pocketing some Planters nuts before they leave, but ditched the idea and instead set his hand held camera onto a travel stick.

"Here, aim it at me."

"Alright." Doing as he's asked, he then returned to his original question. "How come you're vlogging? Is it trendy?"

"Immensely, but that's not why I'm doing it for; your coma made me realize that life is fleeting and anything can happen. I just wanna have something about my true self in contrast to my professional self."

"Aa." He nods. "People don't find that boring?"

"Nope. I've got twenty thousand followers watching our sketches, and seven thousand of them watch, and like, my vlogs."

He didn't comment that it was a small amount, but if his friend is happy, he won't knock it. Small's selective audience would get to enjoy him singing along to the CDs in the stereo, as well as he and Hakuo talking to each other about design, graphics and other college courses.

"Should I keep rolling?" Hakuo asked as the got into the snack line at the movie theater.

"Rolling, rolling, rolling on the camera." Nathen sang and nodded. Taking the camera, he aimed it at his friend. "Say something witty."

Hakuo smirked, and did as asked. "Something witty."

Laughing, the cameraman commented. "Lame. Boo!" he gives him a thumbs down.

"Uh-uh, Spielberg, better be careful making fun of him."

The camera zoomed in on some punks meandering towards them; or in Hakuo's case 'neandering' because he can spot knuckle-draggers when he sees and hears them. He inhaled a supply of energy for dealing with idiots. Putting on a simple smile, he looks at the camera asking for empathy towards what's about to happen. Nathen, having seen the expression, shrugged.

"This guy'll kill you."

Hakuo scoffed. "I'd never kill Nathen."

Nathen looked shook by the wording of the sentence of telling people that he's not a killer, and that that was a dumb statement. Saying it the way Hakuo did, made it sound like he's killed before; however, his friend has nothing to worry about.

"Nathan, huh?" The platinum blond scoffed; ignoring Hakuo telling him he's spelling it wrong judging by the hard way he pronounced the nonexistent second 'a', shooting a glance to his dark haired buddy. "Well, Nathan, this guy is racking up quite the body count. So far he's managed to put everyone who's touched him six feet under."

Nathen glared at them. "Ignore them, Hak'."

"Is that what the camera is for?" His grinning friend chimed in. "So he doesn't have to look directly at O.B?"

Hakuo gave a genuine smile of amusement. "O.B?"

"O.B. As in, Obituary Boy," comments the darker haired creep.

"Aa." Hakuo chuckled. That was pretty clever. He liked it. It wasn't exactly an insult.

But the laughs stopped as the creeps didn't leave it there, they had to just push it one notch too far.

"Looking at you, I'm wondering what the hell is so special, O.B?" Looking him up and down, he asks. "How tight does that ass stay, anyway? Maybe you're a rogue android sex doll with a fleshlight up your ass."

"Right! I mean he sorta talks like a human, he kinda looks human..." the dark haired jerk scratch his fuzzy chin. "But, I don't know; with that white hair, maybe his other nickname makes more sense."

"Will you just leave him alone?" Nathen tried. "He's had a rough couple of years; have a heart. Grow a pair - I don't care what you do, just stop involving my friend."

Ignoring Nathen beyond a means of ammunition, the blond says. "Yeah, I saw something about that, wow, another corpse and another perv. Phew, maybe the nickname should be Bedsheets, as in you're always laid out under someone on a mattress!"

The pair hooted and patted themselves on the back for their brilliance.

"Oh brother," muttered Hakuo; he can't believe the absolute idiocy of some people.

If his book was about tragedy, it'd be filled with assholes like them. He's so tired of assholes.

"Nathen, we're up," he says in a quiet tone, more quiet than his usual tone. "What're you getting?"

"Aww, don't feel bad," says the blond. "We were just having fun with you. Right, Stan?"

"Of course," he pokes out his lips. "You don't have to be mad."

Hakuo grabbed his popcorn and candy bars, Dots, and Junior Mints; once his loot was gathered, he turned to face Stan and his friend. "I'm not mad, I'm just sad for you. You must have been through so much worse that you'd find someone being tortured, harassed, and repeatedly raped humorous." Tilting his head down a bit, as if to help them better see what's going on with his hair he adds. "And my hair is this color because I made it through near starvation, my scalp is barely keeping the strands in from the severe malnutrition. But, please, if it makes your problems better, keep insulting me. I can take it."

The one named Stan and his overly testosterone friend were silent, then they began to laugh.

"Shitheads." Nathen assessed. "Come on, Hak', screw them."

The pair head to the theater room.

Yeah, tragedies suck. All you do is realize just how terrible humanity has become towards one another. And you find that your kindness is the oddball in the situation, when you catch yourself understanding that someone just wondered why you don't steal. No. From now on, let his life be nothing tragic.