Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ The Boy on Page One ❯ Toxic ( Chapter 7 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Hakuo entered Nathen's house that late afternoon with a lightness in his heart. He's spent time with Gev, and despite his lack of really caring, he could tell the goth had a good time; he hung up his painting with sincere pride and enthusiasm, so he must have been enjoying his self on some level. He's already got some ideas for what to do on the next date. Gev will like it, it's something that they're both into - well, more-or-less that he's into, but Gev will appreciate it in the long run.

He cruised the Small home after letting himself in; with as close as they've become it's a wonder they haven't exchanged keys. Krenn opened the door and got a shock so great, the only thing that could sit beside it on the what-the-fuck strange meter is that of a zebra with a giraffe's head - neck included - and it too is all black and white.

Nathen, and some black guy that he doesn't know are sitting beside each other in a compromising position where his best friend has his hand on the stranger's thigh, just above the knee; and the stranger has his hand up Nathen's shirt! The pair are giving each other a lovey-dovey gaze, while the rest of the AV squad is filming them.

Hakuo just looked at them, mouth agape and at a loss for words.

"What took you so long?" Nathen asked, he doesn't take his eyes off the newbie. "You're an hour late."

Still in the dark about what is taking place right now, he felt his skin crawl when his best friend caressed the guy's cheek as tenderly as he would a lover's, before he next moved his face closer so that his lips were just near enough for the suggestion to be there. "Wha..ww.." He shook his head. He can't find the right question to ask.

Completely missing the reaction, Nathen says. "This is Hugo, by the way. He's our new editor."

Hakuo reached out and shook Hugo's offered hand.

"Nice to meet you man," says the editor with a nice grin.

"Hi. You, too," having found his voice he asks. "What are you two doing?" Releasing Hugo's hand he walks over to the computer; his gaze flickered to the large date and time on the screen. "Is this right, the date?"

"Yeah," replied Nathen, breaking eye contact to talk to his friend.

"It's Thursday?!"

Nathen nods, "Since this morning, yeah, why?"

"Because I've been in Sunday all day; and he knew it! That bastard," he wondered why Gev was so casual about Yakusoku and Ludwig being at work on the weekend. And he didn't even correct him. What a piece of work!

"Boy, you're way off." Nathen resumed his strangeness with the new guy.

"Right. Well, now that I've travelled back in time; back to what I was originally wondering, which was, what are you two doing?"

As if it was the most obvious thing in the world, the blond hacker says. "Gay chicken."

Expressing his thoughts on that with a rueful smile, Hakuo heads for the exit.

"No wait! Wait, wait, wait…" Nathen chases him to the door, "It's nothing rude, it's just that this kind of stuff is all the rage. Our last video was a hit; and we wanted the views..."

"Uh..huh, so.. What, you guys sit and stare seductively at each other like some weirdo fanservice?" He looks between them, unable to imagine anyone is shipping the goofy videomakers, but then again... This world is built up of all kinds, so someone could be getting a kick out of it. Aisha, just sister's friend, sure did.

Hugo groaned with his face, and flinched with his voice. "Don't make it sound like some ol' gay shit,"

Looking around Nathen to the speaker, Hakuo says, "It is some 'ol' gay shit'; and please let's lose the homosexual disgust in your tone when you're willing to do that much." Because making a game out of people's lives is just.. odd. Wrong. Weird.

Hugo waved his palms with a silent - and likely insincere apology. "Sorry".

Hakuo could tell already that he isn't going to get along well with him. Where the hell is Tommy that they got stuck with Hugo?

Steering his departing friend back into the whole of the room, Small instructs him to sit by a light push on his shoulders. "To better your understanding," Nathen begins to explain about the game.

How they up the ante of having the duelist do things like holding hands or touching places, eye contact, the move in, and whomever moves away loses. The winner will get 50 dollars.

"Fifty dollars!" Alerted Krenn. 'That's fun money for a date with Gev!' Thinks the thrifty young man. Plunking himself down on the floor, he says with a joyously light voice. "I'm in!"

Hugo leapt up from the floor like he was suddenly the victim of Barbara Edin's character on I Dream of Jeanie, and she just blinked a bed of nails under his ass; the only evidence of his having been there was the steady stream of "nope" as he blasted off away from the idea of playing Gay Chicken with an actual gay man.

'Looks like I've already beaten him.' Thought the new challenger.

"I'll go against you," Nathen says.

Sitting cross-legged in front of his best friend, he locks eyes with him. Hakuo glared back. The others: Wade, Alan, Mike, and newbie Hugo watched with as much anticipation as the viewers likely will, once the video is posted, to see which would win. They're all snickers and coiling in on themselves. Wade smacked Mike telling him to zoom the camera in.

"You look like you're gonna beat me up," professed Nathen.

"Oh, do I? I'm sorry," slitting his eyes to a seductive bedroom gaze, he asked. "How 'bout now?" And he whispered just right. Just in the right way to make a man or woman shiver.

"Ohh!"

"Whoa!"

Cried out the film crew.

Nathen gulped, being on the frontline of such a battle strategy. "Now I just wanna headbutt you and run."

Hakuo snickered; leaning into the back of his best friend's hand that's caressing his cheek, he asked. "Do we move in from here?"

"Shit, oh shit, this is too nasty," Hugo said, cringing his hands in and out of fists, but he can't take his eyes from it. He even smacked himself from going blind by it.

How can they be so comfortable? He would have caved from Nathen touching his knee, but he wanted the hundred bucks they put down for their video, so he touched Small's chest. He had him with that bile enducing move! But then Hakuo walked in and ruined it by distracting them. But seeing this, maybe it was best that it was ruined, Nathen seemed comfortable with the whole scenario playing out between him and his best friend.

The guys all thought it was funny when Nathen touched Hakuo's cheek; but they didn't expect the abruptness of the returned fire.

It was a wonder the bedroom wasn't swarmed by busybodies looking to clear the table of the dirty dishes, the AV squad's saucer eyes are that big and round. What did they just see?! One minute Hakuo muttered something to Nathen; Nathen tisks and rolled his eyes, then he gave the slightest jerk backwards as Hakuo leaned forward, his hands landed on the techy's knees to pin him in place, and the next thing they knew the pair exchanged a lips-to-lips peck! Ho-ly shit.

"I knew it!" Wade blurted out. He knew they were a couple! And this proves it. Why else actually kiss?

The AV squad grew loud and rowdy as they pounced on Nathen swatting at him and making kissing sounds and cat-calls. Nathen sat baffled even through the assault, until he finally recovered and scoffed.

"Hak', what was that?"

"Chicken. Wasn't the point to make you flinch?" He asked. "You flinched; pay up." He held out his hand.

"Yeah, but you kissed me for real."

Hakuo sent his friend a belligerent look. "I play to win. If this were with cars there'd be an explosion." Petting Nathen on the head, he adds. "Get over it."

"I am. But, you missed the point of the game."

"It's a dumb game." He laughed. "What else are we doing today, besides fake kissing?"

"Let's seee," Nathen heads over to his desk to look at a sheet of paper.

"So that's it?" Alan asks, looking between them. "He kissed you, and we're on to the next thing?"

Hugo chimed in. "You aren't gonna belt him?"

The room owner shook his head. "Why would I? What's the big deal?"

"He's a guy, a gay guy." Hugo informed with heavy inflection.

"I know that. It doesn't bother me." Nathen smiled. "I like Hakuo, he's my best friend."

"Couldn't be me," the newbie declares.

Wade agreed, and Alan stayed out of it.

"Hue-.." Nathen began.

Stopping him, Hakuo steps in. "Don't bother posturing, this is a good chance for him, all of them to understand something." He looks at each member of the team. A team he once thought that he was a part of, until they all sent him packing because of his sordid past. "Listen, I'm gay. There's no shame in that. If you guys have questions about it, ask me - instead of consulting your fears and stereotypes. Just come to a source to have your questions cleared up."

"Hak',"

Hakuo again stopped Nathen from worrying about him, by holding up his hand. "Come on. No insults, just questions. None are too personal or embarrassing. I want us all to get along; and we can't do that if your goal is to bash me until I leave… Nathen is my best friend; and making these dopey videos with you all is fun. I'm not gonna be pushed aside anymore."

Alan seemed like he wanted to say something, but he backed down; waiting for others to take the lead. He seemed less hungry that way.

"Don't hold back now; you've got enough cowardice to be dicks, get the courage to be curious. Any takers? Hugo? Wade? Alan? Mike?" He looked among them. "No? Alright then, let's drop it."

"Here-here," says Nathen. "I've got some junk for us to taste for our taster video, and a couple products to try."

"Products?"

"Yeah. Nothing like Fungi nail, but.."

"Have you ever had sex?" Alan asked.

Nathen was startled from the sudden question; he muttered to himself. "You ask now?" He was already on to the next thing.

Hakuo blinked. Was he serious? But, thinking about it… the question seemed kinda nice. Like Alan decided not to consider all those perverts and was just asking him as a homosexual person. He's curious just as he had been at the beach.

With a nod, he answers. "Yeah, once. It was more for experiment than pleasure, but I did enjoy it." He remembers that he thoroughly enjoyed it. His night at the hotel with Gev.

Gev told him that he liked him. That he thought about him. And he asked him out. He'd only thought about the pair for split second, then he removed them and only focused on him. It was nice. It was a warm feeling.

"So do you.." Hugo was cut off.

"Please don't ask if I'm in love with Nathen," Hakuo finished the assumed question. "The answer is a truly sincere, no. And neither does he harbor secret feelings for me. We're best friends. I love him. But I'm not into him in that way. And I will not be down the line either."

Embarrassed, not because Hakuo was right about what he was going to ask, but because he had actually assumed all of those accusations, Hugo replied. "I was gonna ask if you get attracted to straight guys, or do you have a like gaydar that you only stay on your side."

"I don't have a gaydar. I have an I-don't-care-about-people flare. I have been attracted to straight guys - just one that I know of, anyway. I took him to Prom."

"That hippie guy?"

"Yeah, Sunshine."

Asking another, Hugo inquires. "Did you wanna kiss him, even though you knew he was straight?"

"Not really. I just wanted to be by him, and have a date." He shrugged his shoulder. "He's handsome to me. And his being cool with taking me out was enough."

And the random questions went on like that as they did other things well into the early evening before they all broke up to go to their homes for dinner. Questions like: "What does it feel like" or "Why be gay, you can just do a girl up the ass or have her mess around with you up there" to which he replied. If it makes sense to them as straight men to be with a woman, that's what it feels like to him as a gay man. It just feels right. Better.

The more answers they got the more they were able to see that, if they can understand that the world has different races, different genders, and even eye, hair, and skin colors; it helped them to understand it can also have differences in love. Love of family, friendship, self; why not man and woman, or woman and woman, or man to man?

When they left Hakuo hung back to talk to his best friend.

"Sorry for the kiss."

"Don't apologize, it was kinda funny," Nathen replied with a cool smile.

"Mr. Cool hands, huh?"

"Yup. You offered to kiss me once before, remember?" Nathen chuckled. "It was the muttered declaration of your needing the money that caused me to flinch, I got distracted. Otherwise, I would have had you."

Hakuo nodded. "Sure you would have."

"I guess you were just making good on the offer." He snickered. "Good thing it was by surprise, though, I might have screamed and fainted if you were sincere."

"Why?"

Embarrassed, he says. "What if I liked it?"

"You like it when your parents hug you, that doesn't make you incestuous. Liking a kiss from a guy doesn't make you gay."

Nathen quietly put away his video equipment; the guys divided up the leftover tasting snacks, so that took care of cleanup. The used products were dumped into the trash beside the door. "Would you be willing to do baking videos? Just short ones, you don't have to get all 30 minutes with it,"

"Sure."

"Great. I also wanted to do language stuff, would you mind?"

"Sure."

Blinking, Nathen says. "You're kinda making me uncomfortable answering like that."

Hakuo replied. "I don't mean to."

"I'm not homophobic. I just don't know if I could take the situation of being gay. I'm not strong enough," he nods to the exit where everyone once walked through. "Guys like Hugo, coming at me all puffed up and agitated, it kinda freaks me out." He figured he should explain himself since Hakuo sounds so distant, he thought he might have offended him.

"I know. I'm not bothered by any of that," he admits. "I'm glad they hopefully see me as a person, now; I meant what I'd said, I want all of us to get along."

"Me too."

Stretching his arms over his head, he informs him. "I'm just tired."

Nathen noticed he's been sort of 'powering down' gradually while they filmed. "You can sleep over if you don't feel like going home."

"Thanks."

"No problem. We'd better get used to it, huh?" He stored a camera in a camera bag. "We're gonna be house hunting and living together. We need to be comfortable seeing a huge amount of each other."

After cleaning up the equipment, and clearing a space on the floor for the sleeping bag Hakuo's borrowing, the pair wandered downstairs into the kitchen where the scent of chicken lay heavy in the air due to the grease it's being cooked in. It was gonna be nice to get some food in, after all that junk they ate a little while ago. That's the downside to tasting videos, you're buzzed out of your mind from the sugar rush.

You'd swear he was just declared the winner of a billion dollars, alone, the way Vann Small lit up when seeing Hakuo. It's been two years, and a handful since he's seen him. No one would let him into the hospital, and he wasn't allowed to attend his awake party. It was like 14 years ago, back when the kid first disappeared, all over again. But, here he is; looking just as beautiful, and cool as ever - moving a bit more slowly, but perfectly fine all the same.

"Hi, Hakuo."

Glancing at Vann, he shook his head telling him he had no right to speak to him nor does he have any real reason. He sat carefully into a chair at the table. Nathen sat beside him; his friend's brother, thankfully, sat across from him knowing he would have been ordered away had he taken a seat across from their guest.

"Who wants a biscuit?" Marlene Small removes a sheet pan from the oven with perfectly golden biscuits, warmed through, on it.

"Wow. I can't make biscuits that look this good," Hakuo says while removing said perfection to satiate his growing hunger.

Nathen and Vann scoffed. But it was Nathen who said, "Neither can she, we buy them from KFC."

"You rat." Marlene smiled. She doesn't care who knows about it, but she liked the compliment. Now it seems cheap.

Hakuo saved her feelings by saying, "Well, they've been perfectly watched in the warming up process."

Mrs. Small let out a giddy giggle. She liked a compliment anyway she could have it. "For that, you get the biggest piece of chicken," taking the deep-set oven pan, containing the chickens over to the table, Marlene handed the guest the tongs. "And these I did make myself. The seasoning is my grandmother's recipe."

Selecting the biggest thigh from the batch, he passed the pan over to his friend. Hakuo then helped himself to the cheddar mashed potatoes and after two scoops of bright green peas. Mrs. Small joined the young men at the table after covering the pots of food, and placing the rest of the chicken into the warm oven with the biscuits.

Hakuo let out a pleased "Mmm" over the flavoring on the chicken; offering the smiling woman a thumbs up that he likes it. He began to wonder why people say that they make the best chicken, when really it's the seasoning they're talking about? You're really just in charge of making sure the people eating don't meet with Mr. Sal Monella, the real star of chicken is the seasoning in the batter or the marinade directly on the meat.

The conversation was kept at a minimal: school, whether or not the kids were gonna go drinking on St. Patrick's day - which Hakuo expressed a hard pass. They talked about finding an apartment, mostly what type they're looking for.

"You two are gonna move in together?" asked Vann.

This was the first he's hearing of this. He thought that he and Nathen were on good terms, so why the secrets about moving out, and whom he's going to be rooming with? This was a fine show of trust between them.

"Why didn't you say anything?" This, Vann asked his brother.

"Considering how things ended up with Hakuo in the hospital, it kind of went on the wayside."

The reply was said with such a "duh" Hakuo almost laughed. He's rubbing off on Nathen, in some ways. He wondered if that was a good thing or not? Would Nathen rub off on him? He wondered what habit or manner of speech it would be? Maybe nothing at all. He's not so easily influenced by anyone; it takes a certain personality to grab his attention. Like his dear Joker. Nathen is a lightweight.

"One bedroom would be cheaper but, we need our privacy. So hopefully we can get a two in our budget." Explains the house hunting Small. "Mrs. Krenn is gonna help us, since it's her job field." He didn't need to tell his mother that, she knows that Mrs. Krenn is a realtor, but he was gently telling her not to butt-in.

Marlene raised her glass. "Well, here's to success in your search,"

They clicked glasses of iced tea; then finished their meal with little else to say personally, so television was the topic until they all went their separate ways.

"You wanna take the bed, and I'll sleep on the floor?" Nathen asked when entering his bedroom, after brushing his teeth then using the bathroom, to find his near-crippled friend snuggling into a sleeping bag on the cold floor. "Come on, I insist."

"You don't have to."

Helping, or rather forcing, Hakuo to sit, he then assisted him into the bed. "There you are."

"Are you sure?"

"Yup."

Embarrassed, Hakuo thanked his friend. "I get stiff sometimes."

"You kidding? It's not a big deal; and you just got out of the hospital. You're still on recovery duty." Nudging the side of the bed to voodoo the touch to Hakuo, he adds. "It's my duty as your bud, to help any way that I can."

Hakuo smiled at that but with sad eyes. Nathen is such a good guy; can he really live with someone like himself? A murderer. A murderer who would have taken out Vann, had his care towards Nathen not stopped him from doing it. And even then, he still visited the idea of doing the deed. He thinks about it even now. Having to see the unliked Small after so long… it brought it all back. The casual way he went about starting what Ezio Diaz lecherously finished. Some self-justified assault on him. It seems to be all the rage amongst the voyeuristic crowd. They are perhaps even worse than the rapist.

"Hakuo," Nathen began. "Don't be mad, but, while you were in a coma… my brother made up with me - for real this time. We've been on good terms; we hang out. It's been really great between us. I'm not saying that I plan to invite him to our house, but, when we're around each other.. I'm gonna be nice to him."

Hakuo sighed. It was his only response.

Waning in his resolve to merely explain this, he garners courage to go on. "I'm not saying this because I want you to talk to him or try to get along, I'm just telling you why I am. You have every right to hate Vann."

Turning his head, he locks eyes with Nathen in the dimly lit room. "You don't have to explain your choices or reasons to me. If this is something that's right for you, I'm not gonna stand in your way."

"Thanks." He breathed a sigh of relief. He didn't think he'd lose his friend over it, but he thought he'd have a verbal fight on his hands.

"Good night." He closed his eyes.

"Night." Turning over, he snuggled into the sleeping bag out of he chill in the air.

Across the hall, Vann Small pounded upward into his grasp; feet curled hands balled into a fist. Why can't he stop feeling this way about Hakuo?! He's satiated himself 2 times already! He must school-it, dial it back, rope it in! Even if he needs a twelve step program, he will stop having feelings for Hakuo Krenn… But for tonight…

He rolled over onto his side, picking up speed, and moaning freely into the pillow envisioning those beautiful lips wrapped around his exposed length.

That morning.

Hakuo and Nathen wasted no time messing around, they ate breakfast and headed out to look at apartments with his mother. First up was a place called Brix Loft, a loft apartment four stories up. It was certainly spacious, that was for sure. They could host a dance class for forty, and a party for 63 - granted they don't spread out when the dance.

"I'm not sure how I feel about - virtually - living in one big room…" Hakuo looked into the bathroom, that's thankfully a room of its own, compared to all the divider walls up around the place to help decipher one area from the next.

Nathen agreed with that. "What happens when we get pissed at each other? I can go and slid the front door shut then ignore you in our single airspace bedroom." He put on a screw-face and angrily wagged his finger at Hakuo before miming that he's slamming the air.

Snickering, Hakuo stuck his tongue out at him. "Not to mention the color, this whiskey brown is gonna make me sick after too long, I doubt we can paint it. What's the rent?"

His mother, all professional in her job - despite the clients, checked the work-up sheets. "That would be twenty-four ninety, per unit."

Hakuo practically had them bungee jumping from the large factory-style windows, he took them out of there so speedily. He's not giving up that much money for a single bedroom home just because it's got the room and possibly a nice view. On to the next one.

The next place was a little closer to their houses. Newberry Estates. But both Hakuo and Nathen passed. The place seemed too much like a house rather than an apartment. There were families in those homes, not a bunch of college guys and gals. The pair needed a place that's better suited for their situation. Let the housing apartments be for families. It was nice though, beautiful buildings stacked beside each other in a gated community. They allow pets of all sizes. The people who showed them to their possibly unit were nice.

After that came another rejection. A place called Woodland Parks. The amenities were spectacular! They offered everything - even a gym! The place was another housing style community. It has its downsides: such as you have to pay 250 dollars to own a pet, it's a one time payment, but a what-the-fuck on the options to live there list. The rent wasn't too horrific; with their budget it was actually spectacular at 860 a month - starting point, which meant it could fluctuate. No. Better be on to the next one.

Lunch rolled around, and the trio stopped at the nearby Panera eatery for a bite of soup and sandwiches. Hakuo bought some take away muffins, then they were back on the field. Just when it seemed that there would be too many options, they found a place that they liked as an overall feel. It was a quiet place, and the scenery is lovely; it's very close to the hospital - a plus in his case - despite his and the family's feelings about that hospital. They can't turn him away as a patient, and he can't truly reject them in a pinch situation of needing them. It's a tug-of-war of tolerance.

The rent was low between them, for 1,203 dollars. It has many great things to offer. One can even rent a pet - granted it's 200 dollars to do so, but what an interesting set up. The layout isn't huge, but comfortable. They won't be all over each other. Anyone who saw them said "hello". They get storage for their junk, and they don't need to buy any furniture. Anything they want to change on that front they could take up with the management.

And by the time it was 2:47 pm, the pair were the proud keyholders to an apartment in Grampian Hills. Turn-key living… There was only one thing left to do now...

The Krenns and the Smalls - even Vann - went out to a restaurant to celebrate the pairs' independence. They weren't going to spend the night in their new apartment, even when everyone present said they should. But the roommates wanted one last night sleeping at home instead of in a foreign bed in a foreign place. They were properly teased about the decision to be kids at home for just a bit longer, but neither of them minded. In fact, it was the truth. Once they walk out of that door, once they step into Grampian Hills… They're going to be young men, who're responsible for themselves, and for each other.

Hakuo laid in bed staring around his bedroom. This was it. His last night in his bedroom. A bedroom that his parents constructed to his liking: the colors all green, white, and purple are now white, orange, and dark ash. The books, all of which he loves, but, none which he personally selected. His sister knows his taste, his interest. The little dolls. He liked them; strange as some may say it is for a guy to own dolls, he's not the typical male species. All the DC posters. His family put so much effort into his room, so much "Please stay", and he barely got to live in it. They even changed homes, on his asking.

'They care about me so much, but it seems like I'm hardly ever around to appreciate and enjoy it.' Rolling onto his stomach he buried his tears into the pillow. He allowed himself six minutes to cry. Six minutes to let it all hit him, that this is it. He's on his own before he ever had the chance to be back. 'Maybe it's better this way,' thinks the grieving young man. 'It'll make more sense to sort out who I am before I'm a part of them.'

Sitting up, he wiped his face with the back of his hand then slipped out of bed. He needs to de-stress himself. Reset. This is not a bad thing. This is good for him. He and Nathen are in the same place, there is no one to catch up to; no one to get him to relax into a pattern of being taken care of until he figures it out. Because, what if that never happens? What if he can't figure it out? What if he just stays at home, and becomes a moving vegetable?

He'll have a job, but he'll have no sense of responsibility. He'll be left fluttering in the wind when his parents age back to the earth. And then what? He'll move in with Shuhei? Celes? His siblings who have it together enough to get it when the time comes for them. When they have to stand up and be counted as people rather than kids.

Hakuo is down in the kitchen, he's gathering supplies from the fridge and pantry. Setting out flour, milk, eggs, butter et cetera. Mixing things and making perfection out of a gaggle of random stuff. One whole unit from a random pile of stuff. This is what he can do. A nice crumbly cake for hot chocolate or tea; he doesn't drink coffee. Bleh. And why is it called a coffee cake? There's no coffee in it. Because people mostly have it with coffee; that's just weird the way names work. Whatever you want to call it, the Blitzkuchen will be done in 40 minutes.

Sitting at the kitchen table he looks across from him and sees a figure. It's dark, but visible from the dim lighting coming from the glowing overhead. Only half of him showing while the rest stays in the dark.

"So, you've finally decided to show yourself. What's your name? Why are you?"

"Why am I? I like that. Why am I?" spoke a voice much like his own.

"Well?"

The imposter cocked his head, then said. "Always in such a hurry to get all the answers in life, aren't we?"

"I have a right to it."

"A right to be in a hurry? Why?"

"No. A right to answers. …I have so many questions, but nobody will answer them."

The imposter smiled. Tiny. All for itself to enjoy the private jest. "Some things don't have answers. Sometimes things just suck."

"I don't believe that."

"Of course you do; it's why I was created." He stands from the seat, leaning forward into Hakuo's space. Still only some, still half a profile. "But you want to deny me. You want me not to be here."

"I don't even know you."

"You knew me last night, at your friend's house."

Hakuo thought about that. What was this guy getting at? He didn't create him, not like Mamoru. This guy just appeared. Last night… Last night? He doesn't remember anything spectacular about last night.

"It was you." He rose from his seat, not about to be cowed by some alternate personality.

"It was us." Grinned the alternate. "Admit to me. Give in to me."

"…I can't."

"You must. If you don't, I'll turn on you."

Hakuo wondered what that meant, because it wasn't said in a menacing tone of warning. It sounded more like a warning of concern. "But, if I do then…"

"Say it."

"If I do then that makes me a murderer."

The imposter nods. "And don't they deserve it?"

"Yes."

"Then don't tamp me down. Embrace me," his fingers stretched out like black thread. The texture is sticky like tape, but it spread out at a pace of ink diluting into water.

Hakuo felt a tickle in the back of his throat. Or perhaps… a laugh?

"Hey, what are you doing?" Celes wondered. Turning on the kitchen light, she walked over to her brother, touching his shoulder.

Hakuo blinked back from the other side, 'That was close,' he thought. Looking over his shoulder he asked. "When'd you get here?"

Celes eyed her brother, but relaxed her assessment as he sounds normal. "A moment ago; why are you sitting in the dark?"

"Baking. I couldn't sleep. There's too much on my mind."

"Tell me. Maybe I can help alleviate the issue."

He doubts that. He can't even get a straight answer from the assholes who've put the stress and worry there. So how could someone as pure as his sister understand?

"Want some cake?"

"At three a.m.?" she had a smile in her voice.

"There's no rule against it." Walking over to the oven, he stuffs his hand into a mitt then removes the cake, setting it down atop the stovetop. "You know the best thing about cake, is that you can just cut into it. You don't have to worry about it running like with pie or lasagna."

"I guess." Sitting down, she couldn't deny a small piece; it does smell delicious. Maybe they can talk while they eat. Her brother needs to, even if he doesn't want to. "Hak? You were saying?"

"Was I?" Placing a hot square of crumb cake onto a small paper plate, he walked them over to the table.

"I'll get some milk." Celes left the table and grabbed two glasses filling them halfway with refreshingly cool milk. Bringing them back over to the table, she set them down beside their plate then returned to her seat. Watching her brother dig in, she picks absently at the buttery crumb topping. "Are you gonna tell me what's troubling you?" she asks softly.

"Two guys at the movies called me Obituary Boy, like a nickname; because I've been racking up a body count."

"That is so dumb."

"But they're not wrong. I have been racking up a body count."

Celes scoffed. The things that trouble her brother could fill a book. Although, the things that don't seem to bother him could fill a bookshelf. "That's ridiculous, though. A coincidence, sure, but not your fault. Don't let something stupid like that get to you. You're strong. You never let anything get to you."

"Not out loud, where I'm safe. But inside, they're there. Weakening me, and waiting for me to crack." Hakuo removed a chunk of cake and set it down beside the larger hunk; tapping at it with his finger, the piece crumbles a bit before its removed from the plate and eaten. "I keep wondering what I could have done differently."

"There's nothing; you said it yourself, she wiped your memory. What chance did you stand against that?"

"But I must have had an inkling; why else would I have created Mamoru?"

"To cope? I don't know. You did it while in the moment, right?"

Hakuo sighed. "I should have killed them, all of them. Back when they first put their disgusting hands on me… For even those few people, I can appreciate that psychotic bitch."

"Don't say that, it's too sickening…" she felt tears prick her eyes. "You couldn't kill someone, and you shouldn't appreciate a life taken."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes. Hakuo, you're not a murderer - so what if a bunch of jerks are calling you Obitu-whatever, it doesn't mean you are."

"But I am… And they deserved it."

Celes blinked. What is her brother saying. "This isn't some cartoon. You couldn't do something like that and get away with it," her voice lowered, a shame hidden there. "You couldn't live with it."

"Why?" He fired at her, anger pulling the trigger. "Because it's wrong? They all got what they deserved, which was to be handed to justice. They had to be in pain once, I have to suffer for the rest of my life with unanswered questions, fear of assholes getting too caught up in themselves to realize that I'm human, not some damned 4K image to abuse through fiction or daydreams."

Now she's crying, quietly, her eyes releasing a rain shower. "You can't just do that to a person's life, it's cruel. Even if they deserve it. It's evil."

"Evil? Celes, evil is euphonizing animals because no one adopts them after a period of time, because all the world rather have the cute little friend in the pet shop instead of the pound. Killing an over crowded population of waste is bettering the planet. If that's acceptable enough a situation for the animals then it should be the same for people. I should be rewarded for those perverts' deaths."

Celes shook her head. "You could be jailed, given the death penalty. Do you wanna run that risk?"

The siblings are in a brief stare down.

"They got the meaning wrong, Hak', if you're the Obituary Boy, it's not because you're putting bodies in the in the ground… it's because you never came back from being a missing person."

She stood then, abruptly, leaving the cake, the kitchen, the conversation, and her brother behind.

Hakuo sat in the dark, calm kitchen for another hour. Thinking.

'Because I never came back… That's what she said... What she believes.'

Celes may as well have slapped him in the face. Called him a martyr, as if he wears the assaults like a badge… He'd love nothing more than to forget. He kind of wished the brain damage from the coma was more extensive than a few forgotten faces and random spirit tracks.

'I can't expect someone who hasn't gone through it to even remotely understand my pain,' he stands slowly from his seat. 'I can't expect them to see why I'll never let go of my anger.'

Clearing the table of his empty plate, and his sister's full, he put the cake inside a container for later in the day. Maybe he can endure sleep before it's time to exist in yet another day that has yet to hold any traction.

Scooping up the stack of mail that's been possessing a corner of the kitchen counter, since who knows when, he heads for his bedroom. Maybe he can bore himself to sleep.

X x X

Commentary: That got dark. But it'll be much brighter next chapter. Thanks for reading! And stay healthy- i say this because of the mind numbing amount of hacking I've been subjected to all friggin month! The madness!