Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ The Boy on Page One ❯ Get myself back ( Chapter 20 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

"Let me say goodbye." Hakuo says to Gev once they're off the elevator and in the hotel lobby; leaving him idling like a vehicle just inside the intersection of the hotel's side exit.

"Hurry, please; my skin is starting to crawl."

Hakuo could only, all at once, shrug out his hands and shoulders in reply; he can't just produce Josh to him from parts unknown. And he's not about to make an attempt to call out to him over the music. Ooh, Lilah! She'll know where he is.

"Um.. O.B.?"

Now who the hell was trying to get their teeth cracked, by going ahead and calling him O.B.? Turning to see who'd tapped his shoulder, he frowns when seeing who was about to get their "toll bell" rang. The platinum blond from the movie theater.

"I mean, Hakuo…" The asshole corrected.

He tries to recall what his name was… Jackass? Shithead.. No.. Umm. He snapped his fingers trying to remember, or at least pretending he doesn't know.

"Jayden." Helps platinum Jayden.

"Right." He knew it was somewhere in the J'ackass realm.

"Can we talk, somewhere a little less noisy?" He shouts.

Hakuo shook his head. Uncomfortable by the decision to remain in the noisy courtyard, Jayden took the liberty of at least moving them from the dancers - hard as it was to find a space - so they could talk privately.

"I wanna say I'm sorry for being a shit at the movies." He looked extremely uncomfortable, rocking and swaying; avoiding eye contact.

"So? What are you telling me for?" Krenn wondered, sincerely baffled. Did the guy think his opinion mattered that he has to apologize? Because it doesn't. He'd actually forgotten about it, the knowledge of this Jayden, and his idiot cousin, was long behind him. Though the pair remain registered under: Jackasses.

"Because… I know what it feels like now, to be.. well, to have everybody treating you funny and acting like you're some sicko when you're not.." His sad tone fell to the damp concrete; he still can't look Hakuo in the eyes about it.

He can still feel it. He had his penis in his cousin's ass. The heat. The tightness, clamping down worse when he woke up and began thrashing. How he even got like that… How did they get to the park? Why were they...? It didn't make sense! Could anyone be that drunk?! Was it punishment from some divine being that they sleep walked to the park, and ended up in the middle of some lewd perverted act? How else can it be explained?

"Yeah. I saw you on the news. Incest, wow… No wonder you were so hard on me. You just wanted to feel better about your own dirty deeds." He smirked. "I at least had no say in the matter, but you two.."

"It's not true! We would never do something like that!"

Hakuo shrugged his shoulder nonchalantly. "Who the hell's gonna believe that, when the proof was all over the news showing otherwise? It's uncomfortable, isn't it?" Leaning towards him, he asks. "Got any fun new nicknames? I'll be glad to make some up for you - y'know, so you don't feel left out of this exclusive club of people being indifferent to the truth, just because they have a snappy zinger they wanna test out."

"Okay! I get it! I was apologizing."

"And good for you. You're still horrible enough to be the kind of person to say it, and likely think it. Why apologize just because you now know a bit of what it's like?" He grinned gruesomely, all teeth and manic gaze. "Thought we'd become friends over it?" Laughing, he shakes his head then walks away. He can repurpose the notion by sticking a fuse into it to blow up that pipedream, because it's not gonna happen.

He located the party host and told him goodbye, he had a nice time, and call him if he ever felt the need. Then he returned to Gev, who was halfway out the front door. It would seem 'antsy' gives out rewards points for travel miles because the escaping male didn't even seem to care that he was about to ditch his date.

Hakuo caught up to Gev then over shot him, taking the lead through the parking lot to his car. "Thanks for coming home with me, and to the get together - I know you hated it."

"Sure." Gev replied. The situation suddenly became very clear to him. "Is it weird that it feels weird?"

"Yes. But, is it weird for me or weird for you?"

"Both. I guess."

"I don't feel weird about it. You could have spent the night over any day of the week while we were just friends."

Gev wondered when a person became too old to do such things as spending the night at a friend's place, when you're not visiting them from long distance? It's weird, isn't it? Sitting in his seat, he doesn't bother with the seatbelt; it's dark, and it's late, so who'll see him? No one. Blowing out a breath of grievance, he quiets and keeps his focus out the window.

'I wonder what they're doing right now?'

Answering the unasked question, though he doesn't need his abilities to know such thoughts are going through the sullen goth's head, Hakuo remarks. "Wondering what is it that you're doing? Wondering what we're doing together? Bashing me, enraged at you; gently sobbing while trying to not blame each other; then Yakusoku will bash me some more, Ludwig will hear it's sounding a bit too malevolent, so he'll try calming him down. Then they'll go to bed, but not sleep."

That sounded about right to Gev.

Hakuo looked at Gev from the side of his eye, then he glanced at him with a turn of his head. "Are you having second-thoughts?"

"Wouldn't this be round five of second-thoughts?" Wondered Gev, as he's been down this road of push-and-pull tug-o-war before. "It's a wonder you haven't punched me in the nose and flung me out of the car."

"I wouldn't do that." He reached over and secured Gev's seat belt over him.

The car pulled into the parking area of the Grampian apartments; the engine is turned off, but neither occupant in the vehicle makes a move to exit.

Looking at his boyfriend with a solemn expression, the, now, roommate says. "If it makes you feel less creepy, we can sleep in the car,"

Gev smiled. That was the most ridiculous thing he's ever heard. He drew in a breath then looked at Hakuo with sincere cherish. He says and does such ridiculous things sometimes; it's a bit hard to believe him when he says he's depressed. But, he knows, because he's there. Many false smiles and just-getting-by alike.

"No. We can go inside. It's fine. Everything's gonna be fine."

3 pm.

Hakuo can't sleep. He knows that Gev is awake, crying. The guy at least shouldn't have to be alone with his pain. He doesn't begrudge the sorrow; it's understandable that when things don't work out between yourself and a great love, there will be sorrow.

He smiled, remembering; Mamoru loved saying this particular phrase whenever he was upset and crying: "Look sorrow, I brought you an angel". He'd laugh at the alternate's lack of compassion over his own unknown despair. He meant no harm, why think otherwise?

Wrapping his arm around Gev's chest with a back hug, he gave him a single kiss between the shoulder blades.

"Did I wake you up?" Asked the silently crying; he turned the glow down on his phone then opted just to turn it off; setting it onto the dresser, he sighed. "I'll be more like myself tomorrow - don't worry."

"I'm not worried. Take your time with feeling better; cry it all out."

"I don't cry." Insisted the liar.

Hakuo scoffed. Sure. He's not crying. "The tears I smell aren't mine."

Gev held Hakuo's hand in his own, kissing the back of it tenderly then he muttered. "You can't smell tears."

"Sure, you can." He audibly takes a whiff of air. "Smells like a diaper just short of being full of urine, and there's a hint of babywipe with it. I'm being honest, and not discretely calling you a baby, that's just seriously what tears smell like to me." Leaning up on his elbow trying to look at Gev's face in the dark, he adds. "The person crying wouldn't know, their nose is stuffed."

Rolling over so that he's facing his roommate, Gev sighed. "Sometimes you talk just like a kid."

Hakuo frowned, unseen by his bed-mate. "I know. I don't mean to." He scoots closer to him, his arm wrapping tightly around Gev's body. "Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in that hallway dream; everybody has it. I'm 18 but I feel 8, I wake up at 22 but now I feel 18. I can't find my footing." His fingers play in the goth's garnet-dyed red hair. "I can only play catch up..." He smiled and added with a lightness in his tone. "And I prefer sweet relish."

Gev groaned, cupping and squishing Hakuo's cheeks. Just when he was with the older young man, he slipped right back away. "Why do I wanna get mixed up with a dork like you?" Kissing him on the forehead then lips he hugged him closer. "I know you're only cheering me out of slasher-mode. It worked, thank you."

Hakuo hummed that he is welcome to the toll free services of 1-800-call-dork at anytime. "Feel like salvaging what's left of the sleeping hours? Or we can stay up and talk?" His fingers play on the hoop earring in the goth's lobe.

"Talking sounds horrific, but my brain won't shut up." He wanted to distract himself with some bed activities, but he kept it in-check. "I can't talk about it. Look at what I'm whining about? Compared to what you.."

Hakuo slapped his hand over Gev's mouth. "No. I am at home. I am at peace. I'm not currently under some depraved piece of filth, and I'm not a child." He quieted letting his words sink in. How long will he be coddled to all of that?

He can have his nightmares and mishaps. Anger issues aplenty and bouts of utter, crippling depression. But, he will not be coddled on a scale, so that the world dances about him like he's so much more just because he didn't lose love, break a toe on a lower cabinet, or - well, who knows what else! How can he be just like anybody else, when everyone puts his problem to mountainous status with him resting at the peek? Never being close enough to anyone to know anything about them but their joy. That's not even a half life. It's nothing.

"I'm never gonna know one hundred percent fine. I'm never gonna be without the memory, but it's not triggered. It comes when it wants, not because of reminders. Don't feel your pain has to be tapped down in comparison to mine. I wanna know you, Gev, not just when you're happy. Let me be close to you, so we can get each other back."

Gev lay quiet for a moment; he nodded to affirm the same desire; and drew Hakuo in closer from the small distance he'd pulled away, and then he just cried.

Gev opened his eyes hours later into the morning. It's now 9 o'clock; he can't remember falling asleep. Strange. Is this what it would feel like to have D.I.D? There's an idea, he can just escape reality and make up a new one. 'What am I thinking? I've already done that,'

His new reality is about to begin, with Hakuo. It's strange to think about it.. being around - being with someone other than Yakusoku and Ludwig. Will he change? Stay the same? In all truth, he's gotta be himself. The guy already likes him just for that, why show anything more or offer anything less?

'This is what it's like to start a morning with Hakuo,'

He felt the place in bed where the Asian-mix once was. It's no longer warm, who knows when he vacated the spot. Scooting himself into the empty space, he gave it a sniff; smiling as a pleasant scent of cream filled his nostrils, he gave himself a smell check. He smells like a man: dulled aftershave from yesterday morning, body spray that's also faded from since yesterday. One had to wonder if such a scent was pleasant to someone else as your own self finds it.

He can hear voices in the kitchen; it's like Nathen is on the phone, because he can hear Hakuo's voice but he can't understand what he's saying with the pitch he speaks at; whereas Nathen, without shouting or raising it, just speaking normally, he can hear every word.

"And how long is "for a while" here?" He asked.

They're talking about Gev. He doesn't hear what Hakuo says, but Nathen's reply shocked him.

"Oh. Neat. Well, I hope you two can become closer until he leaves."

'Huh… I may have misjudged you, blondie.' Thinks the snoop.

Getting out of bed because nature calls, he crossed through the home getting a creepy Children of the Corn vibe from the pair in the open kitchen, who watched him as he passed through. Yeah, he can see that staying here for any amount of time was going to be just friggin' lovely.

"Do you have class today?" Hakuo asks; dropping milk and egg soaked bread onto a skillet, he watched the foodstuffs while it says "bonjour" to the hot buttered pan that's now sizzling it into French toast.

"Nope. And you don't have work, so I think it's only fair that we shoot your scenes while we have each other's time."

"What scenes?"

"Don't worry, there's only one speaking part, and the other you don't have to say anything at all."

"Sweet." He grinned, all happy about that.

Acting is fun, memorizing lines, not so much. Nathen's index began tapping on the counter, his gaze is fixed on the cook's profile until he turned and looked at him with an expression that asked "What"?

"Would you mind wearing clown makeup?"

Taking Nathen's hand, he looked him in the eyes and said. "I love you."

Chuckling, Nathen pulled his hand back and cradled it to his chest, as if to claim it back as his own. "Most people would refuse."

"Most people don't love Joker."

Aaa. Now I see. Thought Small.

How could he forget about that? His friend's adoration for the demented clown in the animated was full-scale immense. It was funny watching him become especially interested in the episode that was on whenever Joker was in it. It was such a nice afternoon. He's never enjoyed being sick before; but there he was, a cup of hot tea, a snack, a good cartoon he's never seen, and a really good friend.

Nathen wondered if the other guys would… Naah. Not at all. They never so much as hugged each other; why on Earth would they share a bed and company in doubles? Group time, that was fine, but two guys hanging out alone together could get you into trouble, if the circumstances were out-of-the-box like sharing a sick bed and even a sickness induced nap together.

Hakuo can really shake things up, and bring a person out of sorts.

He could just hear the insults, if the knowledge went beyond his friends: "Well, monkeys are known for picking in their asses". And that he'll find another ape to do it for him.

'Seriously, mom, there are hundreds of names out there. Why'd you ever have to call me Simeon?' Blinking back to reality, he gives a dry chuckle when seeing that his friend is giving him a concerned look. "It's nothing. Hey, did you see the trailer for the new Joker movie coming out?"

"No." He shook his head.

"Hang on," he leaves for his bedroom to get his tablet. "Hey, Gev,"

"Mhmm." Came a lackluster reply as they passed by each other. Draping himself over Hakuo's back, he looks into the pan. "Is that for me, too?"

"Yeah. I can make you something else," he smiled shyly when his chin is held and his head is slightly turned so a kiss could land on his cheek. Hakuo can't help thinking this guy is gonna turn him into mush, if he keeps up with things like that.

"I was kinda hoping for some nourishing cereal," he moves around the kitchen opening cabinets until hitting pay-dirt. "I'll have both." Not much to choose from.

Peanut Butter Crunch, Raisin Bran with bananas, something called Great Nature, and mixed berry Cheerios. Who eats this stuff? Removing the box from the shelf, he turns to get a bowl and nearly bumped into the returning Small.

"Excuse me," says the tech-head. Seeing the box, he nods to a section. "The bowls are over there. See," he holds his tablet to Hakuo, who's busy putting all the slices of bread onto one plate.

"Joaquin Phoenix just became a favorite actor of mine!" Declared Krenn. "I've gotta see this movie. When is it coming out?" The trailer said nothing.

"Umm," tapping on the screen, he says. "October fourth, this year."

Elated, he turned off the stove and walked the plate stacked with French toast over to the table. "What do you say?" He says to Gev. "Can I treat you to a movie October fourth? Are you free?"

Stuffing a spoonful of mixed berry Cheerios into his mouth, he replies before chewing. "Sure." Grabbing two slices, he places them in the bowl to rest on the dry side of the milk submerged cereal.

Hakuo slathered cashew butter on his three, and Nathen chose the traditional route of syrup. Gev ate in silence, while listening to the pair chatting on about some movie that the techie wants to make. So this is what the other half does on their weekends? If he were with Yakusoku and Ludwig, the house would reek of coffee, Ludwig would have a glass of milk, he'd have orange juice or drink the milk from his cereal after he's eaten it.

Since it's Sunday, they'd be watching the Travel Channel, and drooling over the food in a show titled Food Paradise while wondering what they can do besides sitting bored and looking at food they don't have for immediate consumption. Then they'd end up playing video games together or going about their own business, while remaining within shouting or grabbing distance from each other.

"Do you wanna be in it?" Nathen suddenly brought Gev from his thoughts with the question.

"Huh?"

"The movie. There's lots of rolls; whoever doesn't fill 'em I just give that character the ax."

Gev looked at Nathen like he just cried Skittles, and had the nerve to offer them as something to eat. "No." He replied as if his nauseous expression wasn't clear enough.

Nathen only shrugged. He doesn't mind if he does or doesn't want to. He just thought he'd be polite. It's gonna be so weird living here with the pissy goth skulking about. But, the guy can't be all doom-and-gloom or filled with biting comments all the time, can he? Surely they'll find some common ground to get along.

"So, about today's date," Hakuo mentions. "What do you wanna do?"

"I'll do whatever you wanna do." He dips the French toast into the milk then eats a couple bites from it. Seeing the smile that declaration brought on, he quickly added. "Except act."

Hakuo held up his hand to tell him, of course. They finish their meal then, decidedly on his own, Gev cleans up the pan and silverware, along with his bowl. The apartment renters disappeared into Nathen's bedroom, and when they exited they mention going to the craft store.

"Wanna come?" asks the Asian, eyes set on a puppy's pleeeease.

Gev really didn't want to say no. But a crafts store? "Nnah, I'm gonna hang around here."

"Okay."

And out the door they went. Gev couldn't stop the comparison bulldozer from knocking around situations in his head. His husbands…

'Dammit, switch gears already!' Snapped the goth to his senses. 'My exes, would have asked if I was sure. Guess Hakuo is the super independent, slack giving type.'

Unsure if that made him feel better or worse, he decided to distract himself with a shower. After he searches the place for certain items, that is.

# #

"Do you want him to leave?" Hakuo asked his best friend; they're cruising the shelves at the crafts store for clown paint. "You can say yes. I invited him, but he intended to stay at a hotel until he finds a cheap enough apartment."

Nathen shook his head. "Oh, no, no it's fine. I just wish it wouldn't feel like the guy hates me."

"He doesn't hate you," lifting three tubes from the shelf, he turns them around in his hand. 'What the heck is paint anyway?' he wonders while looking for ingredients, or in the case of paint the formula of liquids and gases used to create the enigma of coating. "He's just into treating everyone with unpleasantness."

"Oh. I can live with that; I have been for nearly sixteen years," he shrugged his shoulders. "I'd like to think I was at least a cute enough toddler, or kid, to not get picked on as much."

Hakuo smiled at his friend, and tells him. "You're cute now."

Swatting at the compliment, completely embarrassed because he knows his friend rarely, if ever, lies. "Well, when people see me by comparison to you,"

A bark of laughter came at that comment from the accused ugly. "Of course, of course. My ugly face had to be useful somewhere, right?"

"Yup!" he grinned with chipper. "Mm-mm. We want this one." He allowed the soon-be-painted to choose the colors he likes. Taking them, he heads for the counter to purchase. "Where're you going?"

"To get something, I won't be long." Hakuo disappeared within the shelves, and after a couple minutes returned with two plastic cases.

"Beads?"

"I wanna make Gev a bracelet."

Most people admitting something like would have done so with a hurricane-sized air of embarrassment, but not this guy. He could make "fart" unfunny. Nathen smiled, as the word is never not funny to hear verbally or actively.

Hakuo ignored the sudden need to smile at him, and paid for his beads. He also plans to make a friendship bracelet for Elias. It's old-fashioned but, it would make the kid happy. He really feels like he's let the kid down. He promised him a place in his life when he got situated, became a man; and what did he do but fall into a damned coma. He should have been a cop by now, established, paid well-enough, and ready to be responsible. But.. well.

"Do you really think Gev's gonna leave them?" asked Nathen as they walk through the parking lot.

"He gave back the rings; I won't kid myself that he might go back. They have history, I have nothing." Setting the bag into the backseat, he climbed into the passenger's side up front, and buckles up. Fanning himself with his hand, he then scratched his head. Between the wind slamming into the short strands and the hair growing back, it's a wonder he isn't scratching his head like he's got poison ivy. "If he decides that history is better than new terrain, I can't stop him."

Nathen turned on the engine, quickly blasting the AC. "Don't take this the wrong way, but, your logic is really stupid. The guy loves you. And you just act like it's nothing when I know you want it to be something."

"But, it would be what Gev wants. Why should I force him where he doesn't wanna be?"

Nathen sighed, exasperated. "People can be uncertain, but it's for sure better to keep him. He makes you happy, you're always smiling at him… Break-ups happen, and a lot of them are for the better. Stop being timid."

"Timid?" he repeats.

That's a word that's never been used on him before as a description. Too blunt. Too open. Too direct. But timid? Was he really being timid. He cleared his throat. He can feel that crawling around sensation again. Half. The strange being has been quiet lately. He doesn't find himself wondering why, he's just glad to not be bothered. But, it would seem he's not gone at all. Just watching. Patient. Waiting, though for what Hakuo still does not know. But, whatever it is, he hoped to find out sooner than later.

'I wonder.. if my life was a book, would the narrative have split dialogue? I'd say something, but inside it'd be the opposite, because deep down I'm timid?' he doesn't like that.

The word is too thick on the pallet and too much of a crash against his hearing. Nathen's right. Half is right. He needs to stop living divided and take something for himself. And at the moment, Gev's love and affection is that something.

...

Hakuo didn't need to call out for their new roomie, he simply followed the new smell of burning 'nicotine' to the balcony. The strong breeze blowing through the open door was a dead give away, too. Nathen gave his friend's arm a sympathetic squeeze, telling him to go keep his man, and also not to be a doormat.

Heading out onto the balcony, he stands beside the pensive Russian, receiving a sharp glance, but the arm that wrapped around his waist he felt nothing but warmth there.

Hakuo looked down at the street then over at Gev, and with a smirk says. "If you're feeling suicidal, can I assist you over the balcony?"

Blowing out a puff of smoke, the asked replied. "No."

"Just checking." Turning his gaze back to the street below, he then asked. "Wanna see me go over?"

Gev snickered. "You'll be alright. Idiot." Taking one last puff off the thin white stick, he snubs it out on the railing. "What time is it?"

"Eleven something," he removed his pocket watch and checks it to make sure. "Yeah, eleven-seventeen."

Eyeing the silver timepiece, he had to ask. "Do you really use that instead of a watch?" Turning away from the skydiving zone, he heads back into the apartment, Hakuo in tow.

"Yes. What did you think was on the end of my chain? Trend?"

Gev had thought that; he sometimes clips chains to his jeans, why wouldn't Hakuo? He's never known one person to keep anything on the end of them, and then there's this little weirdo. Who never stops surprising him.

"Hey, I'm sorry for being a little punk about this,"

"None of that. It's fine." Replied the Asian. "I'm glad that you care. What kind of relationship would we have, if you're the kind of guy who would just get rid of people you love like they never meant a thing to you?"

"Hot and steamy from my end, and peppered with violent, psychotic, make me worry about getting rid of you from your end." He smiled, haughty, mocking the seriousness of the earlier comment.

"I would never kill you."

Nathen, who's in the kitchen mixing paint colors together to make new ones, paused when hearing that statement once again. He'd forgotten all about it, that his friend is a bonafide murderer. Just the thought of a person lying dead makes his skin crawl. And it's so scary to think about them never getting up again. Disfigurement...

"Huh?"

"We're leaving," Hakuo says, when the blank expression leaves Nathen's face. "Bye."

"Bye."

….

"Where are we going?" Gev asked ten minutes into the trip to their destination.

The car parked in a space. "You mean, "where are we"?" Getting out of the car once the engine went quiet, he looked over the hood speaking to his boyfriend. "We are gonna have fun like a couple of swingers."

That was unexpected… And once they are inside, Gev sees just how unexpected that comment really was. Walls with colored dots, rappel ropes, high-rise tight ropes. What the fuck?!

"I am gonna find what you're afraid of, and make you regret this. First driving, and now rock climbing?" Crossing his arms, he snarls. "Are you seriously trying to get me back for not getting with you sooner?"

"No." He smiled hearing the wails of another vertically frightened human being, because at that pitch it's hard to tell if it's male or female. "Gev, come on; you're a man of the world - you've done everything. I've done nothing." Taking his hand, he kisses his fingertips gently. "I wanna do things with you that you haven't done."

Crap. Shit. Damn him. "But I'm afraid of heights." He informed; he sounds almost breathless, he's that frightened at the prospect that he'll be made to do this horrific activity.

"I know." And he does know, because Mamoru's memories are now infused with his own. And he remembered how Gev nearly cried about getting on the rides at the amusement park.

"Well, if you know that than why?"

"I told you why." Keeping the hold on his hand, though now their arms are dangling between them, Hakuo remarks. "You were nervous about driving and look how well that turned out. You've got your license, and you are really good at it."

Gev let out a breath. He's actually fidgeting now; every time a shriek of terror erupts somewhere in the house of horror, he has a flash of becoming a red, unidentified stain on the floor - despite the soft cushions lining the place.

"Gev…"

His grey eyes held a mist, was he really gonna cry like a baby - which he sees three or four toddlers having ball not far from his field of vision, so that's an inaccurate thought. Beyond words now, he's tugged farther inside. All he can do is look at the height and point to say "But it's high!"

"Those shriekers are cowards, you're not a coward." Releasing his hand so the frozen can save face and not be outright pegged as another screamer; Hakuo walks over to the wall, waving for Gev to come with him.

Fuck this. ...But those damn blue-greens, oh how they can puppy-dog. But, then another expression passed through the gaze. A small, easily missed if you were looking him in the face rather than directly in the eyes. The look said: Then go.

Fuck. Hakuo can't really wanna do this with him? There are so many other things he's never done… eaten duck! He's never had duck in his life. They could do that - well, maybe not today since they already had lunch - and he's guessing he'll be seeing that meal very soon.

Walking over to his boyfriend, who was proving more and more to be a psychotic madman, with plans to take him down; he got suited up with safety harnesses, due to a look of approval and a handsome smile that he was complying.

However, Gev should know, that the smile was because he doesn't have to be alone.

…..

Gev is frozen four holds up the bright yellow wall. His eyes are squeezed tightly shut, and he's muttering something that Hakuo, who has long ago made it to the top, can't hear.

"Are you chanting scripture down there?" Asks the mountain man.

"Shut it!" Gev called up.

"You're nowhere near me," he shook his head to the instructor, who silently asked if he should help Gev down. "Don't look at the height of it, just look at me. Come up here to me - you were standing on the balcony at the apartment, this is no different than that."

Seriously. It's about the height of the second story of a house. Not scary. Not even a long trip, if they didn't place the holds so all over making the climbers work for it.

"I didn't scale the apartment to get out onto the balcony, I walked out of a door."

"So, pretend you're on your stomach and crawling all over the floor."

Gev found that to be so embarrassing, he kind of wished he would fall and die from this. Hakuo calls that motivation?

"I promise, you're gonna be fine. Focus only on coming to me - look at me."

Gev wet his nerves-dry lips then slowly peeked his eyes open looking up. His lids snapped shut again, then again, he looked up locking eyes with the reaper of his nerves.

"It's just a long flight of stairs, and I'm waiting at the top for you."

A flight of stairs. A flight of stairs. He's crawling along the floor. Crawling right along the floor. He moved his hand, he paused when feeling the rope on his back brace slack up a bit. Then he carefully moved his hand again. He swallowed his nerves when Hakuo smiled and nodded at his efforts not to remain four notches from the floor. He can do this. Gev can.. maybe do this..

"Don't look down." Hakuo says when noticing Gev's about to turn his head to look over his shoulder. "The floor is still just at the tip of your sneaker if you drop your foot. You wanna keep moving up."

"No it's not." A kid bounced over at Hakuo's side, deciding to put his two cents where it isn't wanted.

"Brat." He cocked his head as if to say the kid could find his way over the railing, and see if one really does have a 'small bounce moment' if they land on their face.

"You're dumb!" Declared the child. He was brave enough to talk, but not touch. He only looked as if he wanted to slap the stranger, whom he dubbed rude, on the back where he could reach.

"Fucking talk to me, Krenn," Gev snapped, frozen again from panic.

"Watch your mouth!" A mother calls out, covering her child's ears.

"Piss-off, lady!" Gev barked at her.

"Sir," his aid says calmly. "Please calm down, you're almost there."

"Yeah right." Gev mumbled. And who the hell asked that Fruit Loop to chime in? He doesn't need his help in motivation. If anything, strangling the bastard who put him in this situation is motivation to reach the top.

He yelped when something touched his hand. "Boo." Hakuo said into his ear.

"I made it to the top?" How the hell? All that blind ambition really got him to the top?! No way!

"Take my hand, I'll help you up."

"Are you kidding? That'll throw my balance off."

Hakuo gave him some room to climb over the railing; and after a shaky two minutes the frightened climber lay dead to the world at the top.

"Chicken." The child bawk-bawked! as he sped by them.

Lying down on his stomach beside the corpse. He braced himself for a pop to the head, he instead was scooped into an embrace. A "Shithead" mumbled into his ear, right before his temple was kissed.

Smiling, he asked. "Does this mean we don't have to go?"

"Not until I cross that stupid bridge, and fuck up that kid that bawked at me."

Hakuo smiles; resting his forehead against Gev's shoulder he waited for his boyfriend to regain his strength and even breathing pattern, before getting up from the floor. He pulled Gev up along with him.

"And you're gay!" The little boy fired off with a laugh before speeding to his mother when Gev made a move to grab him.

"Dumbass."

It was swiftly agreed with, via a nod from his companion.

The suspension bridge wasn't as horrible as Hakuo thought it would be for the gloomy goth. He stood on the other side bracing himself for six minutes, then with a steady pace of a watched left foot, right foot he slowly made his way across to him. But he didn't care about the triumph of Gev crossing the bridge, that was Gev's joy. He liked that he was hugged and told that he'd never forget this, of course Gev crudely added "shit" at the end of his appreciative sentence, but whatever. He likes the way he talks. When his boyfriend reached the end, it made him feel good. Just like teaching him how to drive.

There are other things he can do to bring this feeling out of him. Other ways he can become someone cherished by the person who decided to look past the past he had with his alter and Doll, and see him, Hakuo, as a person instead of a problem.

On their way back home, Gev napped in the car, a nice fifteen minute power nap brought on by an adrenaline crash. Krenn shook him awake when they reached the apartment. The driver told him he had would join him shortly, after he checked on something with the car. When he could have privacy, he walked over to a parked car where inside hides Yakusoku Land.

"I know what you're thinking," Began Krenn.

And down he went, right on his butt, smash onto the concrete. He touched his already bruise-healed left eye that just received a pretty good right hook, although after the training he'd taken at school, he's had worse. Stronger too; this was nothing.

"You're a piece of shit."

Hakuo got up from the ground; waving his hand asking for more. Asking that they get it over with.

"You couldn't just find someone else, you had to take Gev."

"As I recall, I didn't take Gev... He came to me - free will, his choice."

"Yeah, and you made sure he wanted to choose you."

"Not exactly, but also not wrong. I do wanna be with Gev; but ultimately he's still married to you until you divorce him." Hakuo put it out there so it won't be said like it mattered, as if it was a weapon. Because it isn't. In the end, it was Gev's choice to leave them. That's all there is to it. "Whether he had a thing for me or me him, he still would have harbored those hidden feelings about you and Ludwig. Eventually, you'd of ended up separated regardless."

"You don't know that."

"I do know that." He glanced over his shoulder, in case Gev returned to the balcony, but the chances are slim, since he's likely blacked out somewhere to continue his sleep from having not slept all night. "It's only natural." He held up his hands and took a step back when Yakusoku advanced near him ready to swing again. "No, no. One hit, because I know I deserve it. But, one from you and one from Ludwig, that's all you get... Try again, and I swing back."

Yakusoku glared at him; teeth clenched, biting back swears and insults, argument and pain. "Why? Why not someone else? Don't you know how much this hurt Ludwig and me, and Gev, too! He's probably just confused because you-."

"Stop saying I look like you, because it's not the case. Gev told me why he likes me, why he cares.. I don't know the full details about why he wanted to split up, but I know that he did. I'm not gonna miss my chance to be with him if he's free."

"You're an asshole."

He shook his head. "You're wrong. I'm not a bad person. I wasn't being sneaky about this - I wasn't." He says to Yakusoku's tisk. "And frankly, neither was Gev. Can't we just leave out the situation of hurt feelings, needs for revenge over something that will pass, and just be friends? I thought we could be friends."

"Why would I want to be friends with someone like you?" The words came from such a sincere place, anyone else would have gotten their feelings hurt. "You antagonized me for months for wanting to stay in your body, you were rude to my family who just needed some closure with their son, and then you steal Gev away from me. Why would we ever become friends?"

"Because, I have no ill or malicious intentions towards you then or now; I am not their son; they're adults, they don't need coddling; and I gained Gev, I didn't take him. That's why."

"Fuck you."

"I'm not gonna sit here taking insults and being swore at. Good afternoon."

Seeing Hakuo walk away, he calls after him. "And just what if we don't give him the divorce?"

"Give him the divorce; stop torturing yourselves, please."

"And stop being so fucking casual! You're not cool - you're an ass!"

Hakuo continued on up to his apartment. It was just as crude and uneventful as he knew it would be. Maybe when Yakusoku cooled down they could talk it out. And they can let it go. The last thing he needs is for them to constantly keep coming around, making Gev feel guilty so that he eventually calls it quits just to give him peace. He should go to the more sensible one. Time to set up a meeting with Ludwig Ballantyne.

X x X

Commentary: Sorry if you don't like fillers, but I really couldn't think of anything else to do after the last chapter, so sometimes they're needed. As this is almost over there's going to be a major jump in the next chapter. Thanks for reading, reviewing- if you choose to, and leaving favorite and follow. Have a good week, don't frown at a Monday and it will smile on you, I swears it! ^_^