Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ The Striplings ❯ The Bailey Brothers ( Chapter 6 )

This Chapter is from Kevin's POV

 

Having said that. . .it gets pretty graphic and there's quite a bit of sex. Just a warning.

 

 

Chapter 6

 

Baileys

 

1

 

After I knew Essie was asleep, I let go of her hand and started thinking. Had Essie been hitting on me? When I was younger, I had fantasized about Essie every night. How could I not? She was always there, with Mitch, but still. She was fully developed and Mitch made sure to tell me every detail of the things they did. But ever since I came to high school, I had thought about her less and less. I started dating girls and having my own experiences to tell Mitch about, so why am I sitting here, leading her on by holding hands?

 

My stomach was twisting with my indecision. It had been a stressful night and she needed comfort, that's all. There was a break in my thoughts as I realized I had to call Chase. Chase was home and I said I'd text him when we were close. Now I could think again.

 

He didn't deserve her anymore. Thinking about all the times he'd hurt her this summer made me sick. Every time she called, I felt sick again, knowing she was hurting again, not that she ever had to say it.

 

Why is this so hard?! If Mitch hadn't been such a prick, I never would have had the chance to develop real feelings for her. Great! I have real feelings for her! Stacy saw it. Stacy went as far to say that I was in love with her. I wasn't in love with Essie, but if Stacy was comparing the way I felt about her to the way I felt about Essie, I guess it would look like love.

 

When I was close to the exit, I sent a text to Chase and took Essie's hand again, she might feel bad if I didn't. When Essie woke up, I easily stuck to my convictions. I carried Mitch into the house thinking I was getting out of this without temptation.

 

The rain was pouring pretty hard and by the time I got back to the car, I was soaked. Essie stared at me like I was her prey. I tried to make her stop, but she just kept doing it and before I could try to stop it, I was fully hard. My entire body was screaming for her, so much so that I was terrified that I would listen. Finally, I got through to her and she stopped.

 

Once she was out of her trance, I could see the shame on her face. Quickly, she jumped out of the car. Mitch wasn't kidding when he described her libido. What if he everything he said about her was the truth? I needed to stop. Maybe the rain would help.

 

It occurred to me while I was jumping back into the rain, that I had no idea why she wanted me. She agreed to answer my questions, but back in the car which was a bad thing. Being anywhere in close proximity to her was bad, especially since I hadn't. . . gone back down.

 

Every answer she gave me was one I didn't want to hear. Answers that ate away at my resolve to be loyal to my brother. She wrapped it up by saying that I didn't want her. What a laugh. All that I wanted right now was her. A second later, I told her just that. She was on me like a lioness, craftily positioning herself on top of me. I was sure she could feel my excitement under her thigh. My blood was boiling and all I could think was `I want her I want her I want her.' With my very last bit of control, I made a stand.

 

“Essie Mitch won't forgive me. He'll never forgive me if I do this. Please Essie.” I was begging her. Part of me was begging her to listen to me, the other begging her to not.

 

“Kevin, if you really want me to stop I will. Do you really want me to stop?” She whispered to me in sultry voice and then topped it off by sliding her tongue up my ear. My body won and I grabbed her hair with both of my hands, pulling her lips to mine. Her hands were everywhere on me, as good at giving pleasure as a surgeon operating. As soon as I let her take a breath, she was whispering to me again, asking me about my fantasies. Memories of lonely nights flooded me and there was only one thing I wanted, but there was no way I was saying it out loud. She pressed me for an answer again, making me think I was going to explode.

 

I freed one of my hands from her hair and used it to open my zipper. She could hear it and had no hesitation when I placed my hand back in her hair and jerked her head down to me. My need for relief was more overwhelming than it had ever been before, causing me to lose control of my actions.

 

Everything Mitch had told me about Essie was true. Her skill combined with my erratic state left me satisfied not more than a minute later, but she was still unsatisfied. My head was a little clearer and I was able to get us into the house without waking anyone. When we passed Mitch's room, neither of us cared. Nothing was stopping us tonight.

 

Once in my room, I could take care of her. Thank god she was so fired up that my lack of skill wasn't an issue. But neither of us were anywhere near finished. Essie didn't go home until nearly three, leaving me completely addicted to her.

 

 

2

 

The next day I woke up like every guy does, which I couldn't believe after the night I had just had. My thoughts immediately turned to ways Essie could help me if she were here. Before long I was solving my morning problem with the thoughts of the night before.

 

Once I was dressed, Mitch was banging at my door. He wanted to make arrangements for tonight. Thank god Essie was ending it tonight. Technically, she'd cheated on him last night and that was definitely worse than dating someone secretly. Would we date? Was last night a one shot deal? Some small part of me dreamed of the relief of not having to lie to Mitch, but the greater part of me coveted Essie for myself.

 

When we picked up Essie for the dance, all my questions were laid to rest. She was still very much into this. At the dance, she didn't touch Mitch, which made my night easier. It was hard enough with Robert shooting hateful glares at me when Stacy wasn't looking. What the hell was he doing here anyway? Things became even worse when Chase came with Rose Ortega. I didn't have time to talk to him long, because Essie was giving me the signal to leave.

 

Everything else went as planned, except for me nearly outing us when my brother started feeling Essie up. But she did it. She broke it off. After I dropped Essie off, I took Karen home. Then I raced back to Essie, needing her. I parked really far away and sprinted into the house.

 

When I reached her, she was nearly asleep and I was forced to suppress my needs. A few minutes later, Essie was out, and with nothing else to do I just watched her sleep. Then it really started to hit me. This woman was mine now. Last night wasn't just about physical pleasure even though that was the only thing I'd thought about all day. Essie had told me she wanted me. She'd fallen for me. I was the one who made her realize she didn't love my brother anymore. Mitch was going to kill me now, there was no way to avoid that outcome, but looking at her I thought she was worth it as long as I was sure he would forgive me.

 

I heard Troy come home, I thought, but then the door opened again and I wondered if I was hearing things. Someone yelled and I almost got up, but then Troy was talking to someone, probably Kelsey. Talking didn't last long and I had to really try to tune them out. God they were really loud. Well Troy was loud, I never heard Kelsey. Then it was quiet for awhile, until Troy started screaming.

 

Essie was up and looking very concerned. Something shattered and she ran out of the room. I followed, but stayed back because she asked me not to come out. Essie was screaming at someone named Porter, but that didn't make sense. She didn't mean Sam Porter? What was he doing here? Then Porter was screaming at Essie and I came into view. I saw the trio and things clicked and I almost puked.

 

* * * *

 

As I headed to pick up Chase, my head started to throb. It was all too much. Essie leaving Mitch, wanting me, Troy and freaking Porter were. . .what a couple, well not anymore. Now Chase, Mitch and Robert, of all people, were held up in the woods by the school, something about a fight with the Reygas. So now I had to face the brother I was betraying, the guy who's girlfriend I'd slept with and the one responsible for causing a brawl with the most intimidating group of kids in the school. Who wouldn't want to be me right now?

 

Chase looked like he took the worst of it. He had a bloody lip, bruises in a few spots, a torn shirt, but nothing was broken. Robert was a little disheveled and Mitch looked like he'd never left the dance. My mind couldn't help but wander to how my face was going to feel when we eventually did tell Mitch. I don't care what Essie says, he would need to know and much sooner than this summer.

 

When I asked what happened, the three of them launched into their own world, each trying to give the other the brawl from their perspective. I really didn't catch much. Robert and Mitch still wanted to go to the party, so I dropped them off first. Chase couldn't go home and wanted to meet up with Rose, so we went back to Essie's, knowing her Dad would be at work.

 

Forty-five minutes after I left Essie's, I was back in the living room watching Essie treat Chase's wounds. Chase was vividly recounting the tale.

 

“Wait a minute. You had Rose Ortega sprawled out on top of your car?” Essie jumped in before Chase could even get to the fight. A huge smile erupted on Chase's face and we both knew the answer. That was really unbelievable. I would never say this with Essie right here, but Rose Ortega is the hottest girl in the school. It was unreal when Chase starting hanging out with her and now he was making out with her and who knows what else.

 

“Chase I think you're great and all, but why would Rose want anything to do with you? She's so out of your league.” Before he could answer there was a knock at the door. Essie put down wet towel she had in her hand and opened it.

 

“Is Chase here?” Rose's voice was just as sweet as she looked even though it was very serious. Essie held open the door and she went straight to Chase's side, his face lit up. I had to catch myself staring at her very short skirt and very tan long legs before Essie noticed. Chase was a lucky guy. Except for the fact that the Reygas were trying to kill him.

 

“You idiot! Why did you do that? Jose almost killed you. No he will kill you, don't think this is done.” Essie and I exchanged glances, Chase had never gotten to the fight. Now Chase was pissed, apparently he didn't like her thinking Jose was stronger.

 

“Why does Jose have to be better than me at everything? Just because you spent two years thinking he was perfect doesn't mean he was.” He turned to look away from her, shifting his entire body to the other side. Rose seemed to forget we were there as she slid as close as humanly possible to Chase, exposing even more of her thigh. Taking her delicate hand to his rough face, she made it turn back to her.

 

“Chase. I'm here, I chose you tonight, not Jose. If we're going to be together you have to believe me.” Chase's forehead fell lightly against hers and he closed his eyes.

 

“I know Rose. It's just hard, especially when you're right. He's faster, stronger, a hell of a lot smarter than me, and you love him.” Now it was getting uncomfortable for Essie and me. They were about to go into something that we didn't need to hear about. Chase came out of their world and looked at Essie.

 

“Essie?” She let out a heavy exhale.

 

“Last room on the right. Don't make a mess.” Rose was a little lost, as was I, but Chase and Essie were operating on the same wavelength at least. When Chase took Rose to Essie's room, I finally got it.

 

Once they were gone, I moved closer to Essie, Rose's long legs still stuck in my head. But Essie wanted nothing to do with it.

 

“No way Kevin. Not with them down the hall. Plus I need to check on Troy.” I flinched a little at the reminder of something I wanted to forget. Who knows how long it was going to take me to erase the memory of two dudes having sex. As soon as I had the thought I pushed it far, far away into my brain hoping to never have to think about it again.

 

3

 

The rest of October passed without incident. There were no more throw-downs between the Regas and the basketball team. Which I had since gotten the entire story from Chase. When Stacy and Robert saw what was happening, Robert called Mitch, who grabbed anyone from the basketball team that he could to stand behind Chase. There was a big inquiry at the school, but no one was willing to give names so it was all dropped in the end. Jose and his crew had backed down, I'm not sure why, so things were quiet.

 

Mitch still hadn't spoken to me about Homecoming, at least not the part that involved his break-up with Essie. From what Essie told me, he had made no attempt to win her back.

 

Essie and I didn't have to worry about getting caught because I never saw her. It turns out she works all the time. I could go to her house after she got off, but I didn't have a license and we didn't want to risk me being seen in her car. She suggested something about hanging out with Troy, but I just wasn't ready for that. Troy was creepy anyway, not that I'd ever tell her that, and now that I knew he was gay I had a really hard time being alone with him. Plus he seemed even more detached lately, probably because of Porter. Ugh. We would just have to tough it out until I got my license in a few weeks. With my parents help, I'd already purchased a car, but they wouldn't give me the keys until my birthday.

 

The worst part of it all was that Essie and I hadn't been alone since the night before Homecoming. My. . . frustrations were getting out of hand.

 

In reality, it had only been a few weeks, and I'd gone much longer. But this was so much worse because I knew it was there, staring me in the face, waiting for me to take it and I couldn't have it. The other day, I nearly begged Essie to take me home from school, but she wouldn't budge, saying Mitch might find out. Instead she asked me if I wanted to drive with her to visit her mom. Yikes. Mitch had told me bits and pieces when her mom was arrested, but I wasn't sure I was ready to go meet her. On the other hand, I was desperate for some alone time so I agreed.

 

Troy wouldn't be going with us, he had just started a job now that cross country was over and had to work. I told my parents I was going job hunting with Chase and then staying at his house. Essie hadn't asked, but maybe she would.

 

Chase dropped me off at Essie's where she ushered me into her car. Her dad was home and she didn't want him to know about us either. Once we were out of town, she asked me to drive. Most of the drive was high way and back roads. All I could think of was pulling over somewhere. No one would know. . .my brain kept saying. Why did she wear a skirt today? Maybe she did that on purpose. Finally, about halfway there, I did.

 

“What are you doing, is something wrong?” Essie was concerned, definitely not in the same mood as me, but I wasn't stopping now.

 

“Nothing. I just missed you.” She smiled sweetly and kissed me. Trying to get her to my mood, I pushed harder.

 

“I'm really not in the mood for that Kevin.” I fell back in my chair and stared up, not wanting her to see how pissed I was. “Kevin, don't be mad. It's just seeing my mom is always hard.”

 

“Don't worry about it. I understand.” Understanding her complexes is one thing, trying to explain that to the rest of my body was something else.

 

The place Essie's mom stayed at was nice enough. It didn't look like a prison, but I guess it technically wasn't. Essie's mom had never met Mitch and really didn't know much about him. We thought it would be safe for me to come in and meet her. She was excited that Essie had brought someone to see her, but even that didn't improve her looks any. In the first look I could understand why Essie had so much trouble dealing with situations involving drugs. She looked old and used even though Essie said she wasn't even forty. Her hair hung in strands and a few teeth were missing. I could see the scars on her arms from years of drug abuse. Once she might have looked a lot like Essie, but I didn't want to think of this woman as sharing anything in common with Essie.

 

The visit was shorter than I thought it would be. Essie spared me something by making up an excuse about work. Her mother understood and we were soon on our way. I didn't say anything on the way home, what could I say? Essie looked more fragile than ever. Just as we drove into town, she spoke.

 

“Thanks for coming with me. Mitch would never. . .” She trailed off. Not that she needed to explain, I knew my own brother.

 

“I'd probably do just about anything to spend time with you.”

 

“Do you mean that?”

 

“Of course. I told my parents I was staying at Chase's house tonight. So they won't expect me home till tomorrow morning.” At first she didn't say anything, just looked off to the side a little.

 

“On a school night?”

 

“Yeah, I do it all the time. No, I didn't mean it like that. Usually, I do stay at Chase's.” Her face showed no signs of releasing the paralyzed look of shock that appeared after I started talking. “Essie you do believe me right?”

 

“Sorry. Yeah. That's really great you can stay. I think it's time I told my dad anyway. Not that you're staying the night, but that we're sort of dating.” A big part of me felt relief. She was still serious about this. I was starting to think she'd had second thoughts.

 

When we reached the house, it looked like no one was home. “Is your dad home now?”

 

“It doesn't look like it. Come on, let's just go in. I'm sure he'll be home soon.” I followed her through the front door. She made a gesture for me to sit down. “I want to change out of this skirt. I probably don't need to dress up, but I like to look nice when I go to that place.” She was already half way down the hall by the time she finished talking. All I could think was `not the skirt'. There was no time to think, I had to move fast.

 

When I made it to her room, she'd already manage to take off her top, leaving her in a bra and the skirt. She heard me and turned around, smiling.

 

“My dad could come home at any time Kevin.” I was so not listening. It had been a long three weeks and right now she was the sexiest thing I had ever seen. Ten times more so than Rose on homecoming.

 

“Sit on the desk, leave the skirt on and. . .” tough decision, “the bra.” That was enough, I had her now. As much as she liked to control things, what she really wanted was for me to tell her what to do. But she still wasn't moving. “Essie, now.” I half shouted at her and she jumped back onto the desk.

 

“Essie, that was the best experience of my life. You are amazing.” We were back in the living room now, waiting for her dad to come home. I'd put my arm around her and she was pressed against my side. This is exactly how we looked when Mr. Akers walked in.

 

“Hey Essie, hey. . .” At first glance, he assumed I was Mitch, but now he was looking harder. We'd never met. “Who's your friend Essie?”

 

“This is Kevin.”

 

“Does Kevin have a last name?”

 

“Yes he does. It's Bailey.”

 

“Kevin, how old are you?”

 

“Actually my birthday's in a couple weeks.” That wasn't good enough because he was still staring. “I'll be sixteen.” He gave Essie a hard look and then walked into the kitchen. Essie tugged on me and we went back to her room.

 

“I want to talk to you about some things.” Apparently the episode with her dad didn't affect her because her mind was already on other things.

 

“What.” I'd settled myself on her bed so my back was against the wall.

 

“What happened with you and Stacy?” I was definitely not expecting that.

 

“Why does it matter?”

 

“I understand why you didn't tell me everything before, but you were with her the same day you started seeing me. I wanted to know what happened with her.”

 

“We sort of broke it off that day. She was going back to Robert. You saw them at the dance.”

 

“What if it wasn't over? Would you have left her for me?”

 

“I don't see why that matters.” Where was all this coming from?

 

“It matters because you went through an awful lot to be with her and I want to know what she means to you. Or what she meant to you.”

 

“Fine. She was there, she was easy, and she didn't want a boyfriend. Now can we please not talk about this anymore?” I was too busy focusing on my own annoyance to see the change that had happened in Essie. By the time I did notice her, she was slumped in her desk chair.

 

“Essie come on. I didn't care about Stacy. I thought she was really hot but that was it. She was actually sort of a bitch.” Something I said made it even worse and she started crying. Her room was small, so I only had to lean forward off the bed to reach her. She let me pull her back to the bed with me. “Essie what's going on? It's not like you to be like this. All those nights Mitch hurt her, you never cried. What could I have done to make you cry? I was with her before you.”

 

“I know Kevin. I'm thinking crazy, I'm acting crazy, I'm feeling crazy. I hate Stacy and I hate that you were with her. I hate that you wanted someone else. You probably still want her.”

 

“I don't.”

 

“Kevin you could have anyone. Maybe you don't see it yet, but you will soon. Girls will want you. You're gorgeous. And these girls won't make you keep everything a secret. Those girls can come to your house and meet your family. Those girls will be like Stacy, not plain like me.” I turned her face so that she was looking right at me.

 

“You're not plain Essie. You're beautiful.”

 

“Look at Mitch Kevin. That is my type. That is the type of guy I'm supposed to be with. I'm not supposed to be with the hot guy. And then I started thinking about why you would even bother. The answer was so obvious even someone as self-centered as Porter could see it.”

 

“Why would you listen to anything Porter had to say? Fine why does he think I'm here?”

 

“For things like we did earlier and all the things we did before homecoming.” Finally I could see what she was getting at.

 

“You think I just want you because you're so experienced?”

 

“More like I'm here, I'm easy, and no one knows you're my boyfriend.” I guess I set myself up for that.

 

“Is that why you've been avoiding me?” She didn't have to answer, the look on her face said everything.

 

“Kevin I meant what I said to you that night in the car. What I didn't tell you was that I think. . .I think at some point. . .I fell in love with you.” Was not expecting that. What was I going to tell her now? Did I care about her? Yes. Did I want her beyond all reason? Yes. Did that mean I loved her? Probably not. “And I've been going crazy for the last few weeks because I'm terrified that you're just having some fling with me. I don't want that Kevin, I want more. That's why I want you to tell Mitch tonight. I can't go another day at school knowing that every girl in school thinks you're free and half of them want to date you. It has to be this way or we have to stop.” Slowly I sat up, pulling away from her as I did.

 

“Where are you going?”

 

“To tell Mitch. You can drop me off at Chase's and he'll take me home. I don't know what will happen, but I'll do it Essie.” She jumped off the bed and I had to catch her or let us both fall.

 

“Thank you Kevin.” I think she said that, but I'm not sure because her mouth had barely left mine. Her happiness was turning into something else and I needed to get out of there before I lost my nerve. She felt me against her and innocently smiled. “Let me help you.” Then I was on the bed, looking down at her head move skillfully up and down, wondering what the hell just happened. Even though she said she wanted me to want more than sex, she sure didn't have a problem using it to remind me why I had to do this.

 

4

 

Mitch wasn't surprised to see me when I came down through the basement door. He barely gave me more than a glance and then went back to his homework.

 

“You two lovebirds get in a fight.” My heart literally stopped until my brain registered the sarcasm. He meant Chase and me, not Essie and me.

 

“No. I came home to talk to you about Essie.”

 

“Don't worry about us Kev. I'm just giving her time. She'll come back.” He sounded so confident, like he didn't have a care in the world. Was this why the break up had been so easy? Did he think they were getting back together?

 

“How can you be so sure she's coming back? Maybe she broke up with you for someone else.” Up until now he had kept his face buried in his math book, but now it shot out to look at me.

 

“Do you know something? Is that what you wanted to talk about? I don't know who'd be stupid enough to make a pass at Essie. Plus she's really not that hot.” I expected the first part, but the last part stung me a bit.

 

“What? You don't think she's hot. You dated her for three years.”

 

“Listen Kevin. I never really thought she was all that hot. I liked her enough to date her and then I sort of got hooked. Back then we didn't do much, but she still made up for her looks in other ways if you know what I mean. Obviously as time went on, she really made up for it. God I can't wait to get back in. . . Kevin are you okay, your face is getting really red.”

 

“I'm fine Mitch. So you just want her back for sex?”

 

“Come on Kevin. You of all people know how much I love her. We'll get back together and go away to college. She doesn't want to go to Morris, so I've been applying anywhere she might go. Then when she picks, I will too. Honestly, I can't see life without her. Dude what's wrong? Are you sick? Now you're going all white.”

 

“I'm fine, I just need a minute.” I darted back to my room and shut the door. My hands were shaking and I knew something was coming. Luckily I made it to the garbage before I puked all over my room. A few minutes passed by before I felt okay again. Essie had said she was going to leave him no matter what, so why was I so disturbed? It wasn't my fault she broke up with him, was it? Now something else was taking over me. I couldn't do it and I was going to lose her.

 

During a very long shower, I planned exactly what I would say and do. One wrong step and I would be stuck in the middle of them. The only way was getting out. Essie would move on, eventually Mitch would figure it out or maybe, hopefully meet someone new.

 

Mitch was staying home for the night and our parents were in bed, so I borrowed his car. At least this way I had an escape vehicle. Mentally I felt prepared for any temptation she might give me. This time I wouldn't be weak.

 

By the time I made it to Essie's, her dad had left. That was good. She was laying on the couch, a blanket wrapped around her. The house was a little drafty. Troy was there too this time, watching tv with her.

 

“That's me cue,” he said when he saw me and left us. Essie perked up on the couch, but kept the blanket around her.

 

“So? How'd it go?”

 

“I didn't tell him.” In my mind, I'd seen her throwing a fit at the news, but she was calm.

 

“What happened?”

 

“He told me how much he loved you. How he was going to follow you to college wherever you went until you took him back. I'm sorry Essie, I don't want to be the person who he blames for crushing his dream. I know you're not taking him back, but he'll blame me. He won't see that.”

 

“So you think he needs more time to realize I'm not taking him back. Once he realizes that, maybe he'll be more accepting of my choice to date you?”

 

“I'm saying, I won't be the person he blames. Someday he'll find out and he won't forgive me Essie. I told you that before. Somehow I convinced myself that he would, but he won't.”

 

“He might fall in love with someone else Kevin. What then?”

 

“I don't expect you to wait for that and. . .you shouldn't expect me to either.” There, I'd torn the band aid off but I couldn't just leave. She needed a chance to react. To get her peace of mind before we finally parted. I braced myself for it.

 

“I knew you'd choose him in the end. I don't blame you Kevin. If I had to choose between you and Troy, I'd choose Troy. I had hoped you wouldn't choose so soon.” Without even a goodbye, she turned and went to her room, blanket and all.

 

My feet felt frozen to the carpet. She was letting me off, I should go. Before she could change her mind I darted to the car. This was what I wanted, a clean break. So why was I so upset. It wasn't because it was over, I'd already reconciled that part of it. What was really bothering me was that she didn't even put up a fight. A few hours ago she “loved” me and now she was easily walking away. Something wasn't right.

 

Back in the house I went, heading straight for her room. The door was open a little and I could hear her sobs, her heartbreak. The door creaked when I opened it and two sets of eyes burned into mine. Troy looked very upset, though nothing compared to Essie's bloodshot eyes and tear streamed face. She took the covers and brought them over her face to hide from me.

 

“Go Kevin. You'll just make it worse.” Her voice was muffled from the blanket and the sobs. Troy stood to block her from me. I wanted to go. I'd seen what I needed. She'd been telling the truth, she loved me. The evidence of that was smeared on her face. It was wrong for me to stay when there was nothing I could give her to make the pain stop. So I left.

 

5

 

November came and went. I had a license and a car, but not much else. Mitch was true to his word. He applied anywhere he could remember Essie mentioning in the last three years. As long as he kept up hope, I could stay away from her. Baseball pre-season wouldn't start until February, so I got a job. It was only part time and something that I could keep when baseball started. But it did take up enough time to where I would have to give up play.

 

Essie had been right about the girls. To keep my mind and body away from Essie, I went with Mitch to various parties. The girls nearly threw themselves at me, and I wasn't complaining. There was no way I was just going to stay alone. If I had wanted that, then I could have told Essie I would wait for Mitch to move on. But I wasn't willing to do that. It could have taken Mitch years to move on.

 

It was early December and the party scene was getting a little old. I missed Essie so much. She was easy enough to avoid at school, but I still couldn't keep her out of my mind. Then something happened that made everything so much easier. Stacy showed up to Malcolm's one Saturday night, alone.

 

She looked really good. When I had dated her, she would have been considered average build. Now she was trim and wearing sexy tight jeans. Her top was long sleeved, but really low cut, letting her long blond hair fall over her chest. Stacy saw me staring and came over.

 

“It's been awhile Kevin. What have you been up to?”

 

“Nothing much Stacy. How's Robert?”

 

“We broke up.”

 

“And here you are.”

 

“I wasn't over you and he knew it. I admitted that I cared about you, but not like I loved him. He couldn't live with it anymore, thought I should give it a try with you. At least that's what the email said.”

 

“He sent you an email? Wait he wants you to what, date me?”

 

“Yeah, pretty screwed up, right.”

 

“Yeah. What makes you think I want to date you?”

 

“Are you still hung up on Essie Akers?” The words stung me with their truth. She was the only one outside our group on homecoming that knew. No point lying anymore.

 

“I can't have Essie. So there really isn't anything to be hung up on”

 

“Good, cause we should do it. Let's try for something real and public.” A big part me wanted to see her naked again, especially now that she looked more attractive than ever. Then there was the part that thought about Essie. She wouldn't want me to date Stacy, but then again she wouldn't want me to date anyone. Finally the last part of me was trying to remember how bitchy she could be. My thoughts were distracted by fingers in my hair. Yep, I wanted her still and I was going to get her. I'll try it and if it sucks, I'll drop her.

 

6

 

So now I'm dating Stacy and everyone knows about it and nobody really cares. Well I guess one person probably cares, but I avoid her at all costs these days. Stacy and I don't have too much time to see each other. I have a job and she decided to join STOMPS after Robert told her she had to quit theatre. Winter break starts Monday and we plan on spending a lot of time with Rose and Chase. Apparently Rose and Stacy are friends, which really works out great. We can all go to Mitch's basketball games without being worried about someone finding out. Mitch isn't upset about us dating and as a result, he doesn't really see Robert anymore. Even more proof that I made the right choice leaving Essie.

 

Tonight is one of Mitch's basketball games, so Stacy will be over soon. Mitch is pacing around the room, unusual for someone who stopped getting game nerves years ago.

 

“What is your deal?”

 

“What?” He stopped pacing and looked at me as if I had just walked into the room.

 

“Sit down. You're making me dizzy.”

 

“Sorry. But, the moment I've been waiting for has come and I don't know, I guess I'm sorta freaking out. I don't know what to say.”

 

“What moment has come?” He was being a bit theatrical.

 

“Maybe you can help. Essie wants to meet me after the game to talk. Honestly I didn't think it would take this long, but hey I'll take it. She hasn't dated anyone else, which is a good thing so this must mean she wants to get back together, right?” Brain was saying talk, but my bodily functions had gone into shock. What was she doing? This must be her way of getting back at me about Stacy. I knew she would do something. Mitch was still staring at me.

 

“I don't know dude. I have like, no experience with girls. Stacy's the most serious I've ever been.” Quickly, I stood and headed to my room. When I got there, I closed the door and tried to breathe. For some reason I was taking gasps and getting a little faint. I bent over and put my head between my knees. Would I act like this if she dated anyone, or just Mitch? Probably just Mitch. If she starting dating him again they would be here all the time, in my face. Could I handle that? There was a knock at my door and I had to drag myself out of this.

 

“Hey.” Stacy stepped in and kissed me. She was so much more pleasant now that she wasn't feeling guilty all the time. Now she was actually a pretty cool person. A person I was really starting to like and enjoy for more reasons than her looks.

 

“Hey to you.”

 

“We're picking up Rose and Chase before we eat, so lets go or we'll be late.” She led me out and we ended up leaving at the same time as Mitch.

 

At the restaurant, I forced myself to eat and focus on other things. Rose was always good for being a distraction. Tonight she looked as beautiful as ever. I don't know how Stacy could stand being her friend. Stacy looked like a short, plain girl compared to Rose. Not that I'm complaining, but the obvious is the obvious.

 

Rose and Chase were as close as ever. The two of them seemed to fit so well into each other. Chase didn't talk about Rose to me very much and I didn't blame him. If I had something that pure and beautiful, I'd want to keep it to myself. But I honestly would probably never date Rose, who had too much baggage. Not to mention she was as virgin as they get with no signs of changing. I'm not even sure if I could date someone without sex as accustomed as I'd gotten to it. I looked at Rose again. Fine, I could date her and probably wait it out for awhile because the promise of what she had would be strong enough to hold me. But there would be no way I would cross the Reygas like he did. Things had seemed to blow over, but that couldn't possibly be the end. It couldn't be that easy to take Rose away from them.

 

“Kevin.” I looked over to Chase, who was saying my name. “Rose was asking you about you're guys' Christmas plans. Stacy smiled and leaned in to me.

 

“Well, we're doing his house first and then we're gonna head over to mine and spend most of the night with my mom. She doesn't really have anyone else to spend it with.” I forced a smile to match hers and positioned her so my arm could be around her. Yes, we're doing the holiday thing. Between my mom and Stacy, I was sort of roped in to that one.

 

The rest of diner went without incident. I wish I could say the same about the game.

 

It started off with Mitch catching me outside in the hall, asking me for a favor.

 

“Aren't you supposed to be warming up?”

 

“Yeah, do me a favor. Look for Essie. If you see her, give me a signal. I rather just look at you than keep searching the stands for some sign of her.” That was the last thing I wanted, but I nodded my head. Porter came out just then and yelled at Mitch to get in there. He didn't seem to see me.

 

“Are you still friends with that guy?”

 

“I don't know. We talk some, but he stop going to parties after homecoming and now he spends all of his time with Anna Reya. It's not like with Lola, he. . . actually looks happy when they're together.”

 

“What!” My response was a little over the top, but come on! Porter was so gay.

 

“Yeah, I know. Even if she is just a freshman, she is way too hot for him. They spend every moment together at the away games.” This was such a shock. Mitch jogged away and I was about to find my seat when another person stopped me.

 

“I need to talk to you Kevin.” I whipped around, curious about the unfamiliar voice. It was Troy, creepy ass Troy with his rough voice. He did not look good. I almost felt a little bad for the guy even though the entire situation was completely twisted. I still hadn't answered and he was still advancing. My eyes were darting around, wondering if anyone would see us. “Take a walk with me.” He had such an authority in his voice that I didn't want to disobey. He walked passed me and I caught up to his pace.

 

“Make it quick Troy.”

 

“Right, someone is waiting for you.” His tone was layered in sarcasm. We turned a corner and he seemed to think we were far enough away to be considered. “How serious are you about Stacy Moore?”

 

“Why?”

 

“If you're really serious about her, then there really is nothing for us to discuss. But if you think there's a chance Essie means more to you than Stacy, I will talk.” I pretended to think a minute. Of course Essie meant more than Stacy, but I wasn't taking her back. He started talking, but I was still thinking.

 

“I didn't answer you.”

 

“Out loud, but your actions are easy enough to read. So as I was saying, Essie plans on getting back together with Mitch.”

 

“Why?”

 

“She doesn't want to be alone anymore and she doesn't want to take the chance at getting hurt again. Mitch loves her and he's not going to hurt her anymore. At least she's convinced of it. I'm not sure how she plans on handling his drinking, but maybe he'll quit.”

 

“Why are you telling me this?” There must be a point. Or was the point to try to hurt me with this?

 

“The point is my sister is completely screwed. After you walked out on her, she flipped. Essie's always been happy and upbeat. Now she's burned out. I'm not saying you need to get back with her. I just want you to try to think about how your life's going to be if they get back together.” He paused, letting me soak it in. “Can you really handle that until they go away together. What if they get married and have kids. Essie probably would, I don't know.” The thought did suck, but what did he think I could do short of destroying my relationship with Mitch.

 

“Is that it?”

 

“Pretty much.”

 

“You don't want me to go back to her. You just want me to know what she's doing.”

 

“I don't think you realize how hard it's going to be. How are you going to stand listening to them next door or seeing them together all the time?”

 

“I get it Troy.”

 

“No you don't Kevin. I don't want you freaking out and hurting her even more. I can't talk her out of seeing him, but I can try to tell you to let her be. Don't get jealous and territorial.”

 

“What makes you think I would do that?” Then, for the first time, I saw him smile.

 

“It's what I would do.” That was all he wanted to say to me and now was turning to leave. Once the smile was gone, the pain he'd carried for months came back and he was empty again.

 

“Troy.” He stopped and turned back.

 

“Porter's dating someone. Anna Reya.” If possible, his eyes turned even colder.

 

“Porter can date who he wants.” I couldn't believe I was really having this conversation.

 

“So it's really over for you?” Why did I care? Because the guy was Essie's brother and he looked completely void of life. Was this how she looked? He still wasn't answering. “Well, it's serious. Not like Lola, she makes him happy.” There, I was done, having been a good Samaritan for the day. Troy winced a bit when I said happy, but kept walking.

 

7

 

It was Christmas day and Mitch still hadn't spoken about Essie. Maybe she changed her mind and never showed. I spent the night at Chase's the night of the game, afraid to what I may come home to. What would I do if they were having sex in the next room. How could she do this? Why did she go back to him? I knew why and I even understood. I'm sure the added bonus of torturing me was probably due to Stacy.

 

“Your parents seem to like me, that's good right?” Stacy liked to talk after sex. Almost immediately she was jabbering on about something.

 

“Yeah, they do, especially my mom. It's kinda weird.” She jabbed me in the side in a playful way and it made me feel very affectionate towards her.

 

“Why do you have that weird look on your face?” My face must have mirrored my emotions. I wasn't ready for her to know how I felt.

 

“What look, this look.” I made some weird faces and distracted her with touches and jabs all over her that made her squeal and laugh. Something about all of this was feeling so right until I heard Essie's voice. My hands stopped and my ears perked up. Stacy heard it too.

 

“Why is she here?” Stacy had a not too happy tone in her voice.

 

“Her and Mitch are back together.” Hearing her voice for the first time was like a shock wave going through me. So many things came back to me at once I couldn't focus on what Stacy was saying. “It's probably time to eat.” I grabbed Stacy's hand to leave, trying to get far away from Essie, them.

 

Just as we opened the door to leave, so did Mitch and Essie across the hall. He looked thrilled, she looked flush. I leaned into the doorway and closed my eyes, knowing that look too well. This had to be kept under control. Stacy knew I cared about Essie, though not really how much. She would be looking for signs of duress. I dropped my hand from her, not wanting to squeeze it. My face felt hot and I knew it must be red. When I opened my eyes they fell right into Essie's. I felt like killing her for this, making me feel so unbalanced, capable of anything. Why was she able to ignite the most drastic of emotional responses from me?

 

“Kevin, it's been so long since I've seen you.” She reached into me and hugged me. Troy was right, she'd flipped. Her touch was so genuine and caring. I barely hugged back, trying to stay conscience of Stacy's feelings. Mitch saw nothing. He was already halfway to the stairs when Essie pulled away. I let them go, staying back with Stacy.

 

“What was that Kevin?”

 

“I don't know. We used to be close. I guess she just missed me. Lay off.” Perhaps offensive was better than defensive in this situation. She didn't say anything else as we headed to dinner.

 

Throughout dinner, I watched Essie as I ate, throwing in random comments every once in awhile. My parents talked with her and Mitch about what colleges they were looking at and everything was just as if they'd never broken up. Mitch was laughing and Essie was back to her perky self. The only difference was that now I was watching, having known what it was like to have her. Thinking about them going away to college made me sick. Seeing Essie come out of Mitch's room earlier made me sick. Troy had been right, I`d never want to see her with someone else and now it was right in my face.

 

What the hell was wrong with me?! I wanted to scream it out. Stacy was by my side, attractive, sweet, and easy to love. So why was I stuck on the one thing I couldn't have? Why was the desire I had spent so much time burying at the front of my mind? It was like that night in the car. Every word, every smile was making my flame for her burn even stronger. By the end of dinner, Stacy may well have not even existed.

 

After dinner the girls volunteered to help clean up. Mom told Essie to sit with Mitch and catch up because she only needed one's help. Stacy followed my mom, reluctant to leave me with them. Essie and Mitch sat on one couch and I on the other. Mitch seemed unaware of the energy in the room. Essie made a reamark about needing something out of her bag and stood to leave. Mitch caught her arm and pulled her back down, kissing her passionately. Finally he let her leave. My foot was racing up in down in a tapping motion non stop. I was exerting all my will power not to follow. With a final glance at Stacy in the kitchen, I got up to follow her. Mitch was already watching the basketball game on TV.

 

Essie wasn't in Kevin's room, so she must be in mine. When I opened the door, I saw nothing but a pair of legs sticking out from behind my desk. I had to take a few steps in to see the rest of her. She was wearing the skirt, the one I liked so much. Until now, I hadn't even noticed. Now it was all I saw. That skirt had given me the best pleasure of my life.

 

“Essie, what's going on in your head? Are you trying to torture me?”

 

“Yes.” Her voice was flat, having lost all trace of happiness. “As far as my head goes, well that hasn't been working right in awhile.”

 

“So this whole thing with Mitch is just one big game?”

 

“Oh no Kevin. I was enjoying my time with Mitch, until I saw you with that scank. I could be with Mitch Kevin. He knows everything I like and he loves me.” Pain shot through me twice. The first time when she implied I couldn't pleasure her like he could and again when she reminded me of my inability to return her affection. She sat there in the chair, swiveling back and forth, legs slightly parted. “I hate seeing you with her.” These words were soft and full of so much pain. I'd been selfish to date Stacy, I could see that now in the pain that Essie let out.

 

“Essie don't cry. They'll notice.” She sniffed back her tears and held her eyes rigidly in place.

 

“You're right. Mitch is waiting for me Kevin.” It was getting to the point that I hated even hearing my own brother's name. This is what Troy meant. I wanted to ask her to stop seeing him, to not flaunt their relationship in front of me. Which really meant I was asking her to go away, stay out of my life. He knew what that would do to her. “Do you miss me Kevin?” I knew exactly where she was going with this.

 

“Yes.” I barely spoke the words.

 

“Do you still want me?” I didn't answer this time. Instead I looked at her, in the same position as before except legs parted even more. My feet pulled me to her, not being able to fight it any longer. I dropped to my knees and put my head on her legs. She touched my hair slightly. Her body shook a little and I could hear the tears again. This time I let her cry. When I turned my face to look at her, her skirt moved with it, showing me even more of her. My lips grazed her thighs.

 

“Did you sleep with him earlier?”

 

“No.” My kisses were faster and moving higher and higher, my fingers slipping her underwear to the side. She leaned back and moaned. I slid my hands all the way up her thighs, still focused on how she said he could please her. Her hands were tangled in my hair, tugging, pulling me into her.

 

The knock at the door sent my reflexes into overdrive and I was sitting on my butt, half way across the room.

 

“Kevin, is Essie with you?” He opened the door and stepped in. I was absolutely panicking, sure he would know. His eyes went from me to her. By now I was standing, but her eyes were still tear stained, eyes and cheeks red.

 

“I was upset about my mom not being home again. Troy and I saw her yesterday. Kevin was talking to me, trying to make me feel better.”

 

“Oh.” He didn't seem to be buying it but the alternative was probably incomprehensible to him. “Why are you in his room again?” Essie's eyes darted around the room.

 

“He had Kleenex. Kevin came in here to get me one and I followed. All the sudden it hit me again and I needed to sit.” Relief came across his face and I finally took another breath.

 

“Stacy's looking for you Kevin. Come here Essie, let's talk.” I watched them go, but she didn't chance a glance at me.

 

Stacy seemed to be oblivious to the entire situation. I came back up alone and Essie stayed downstairs. I brought Stacy's things so we could go straight to her moms.

 

After I left Stacy, there was only one place I could go. I scanned the neighborhood three times before parking. Mitch wasn't there. It was late enough that Essie's dad would be working. Troy opened the door, giving me a hard look, but didn't say anything as I passed.

 

Essie was in her room, waiting for me when I came through the door. She'd kept on her clothes from earlier.

 

“You came.” Essie stood slowly, waiting for me to make the first move. In a few steps, I had her in my arms. Firmly, I planted my hands under her skirt and lifted her off the ground and slowly to the bed, picking up exactly where I'd left off.

 

“What happened after I left?” I was holding back until I was sure she was intact.

 

“He wanted too, but I said no.” This time I pulled down her underwear before moving in. My mouth started working like mad. Essie was moving and breathing like she never had before. All of this was driving me wild, but I was determined to finish her. In between moans, she started talking.

 

“He was so. . .mad. . .but I wanted. . .to . . .save myself. . .for . . .only. . .you. Kevin!” She screamed my name and had to assume by the shaking in her legs that she was nearly done. As soon as the last spasm stopped, I was in her, barely stopping to pull down my pants.

 

This felt so different for some reason. Was it like this before and I had just become numb from Stacy. I could feel everything so much more and it was so wet.

 

“Stacy, I can't hold it.”

 

“It's okay.” I finished before the words were out of her mouth. She tried to move from under me.

 

“Don't move, we're not done.” She stayed put and in few seconds I was ready again. When we were really finished, I pulled out slowly, reaching to pull off the condom.

 

“Shit, is it. . .Oh no Stacy, I didn't wear a condom.” Her face dropped and she reached between her legs.

 

“Have you been safe with the others Kevin.”

 

“Of course, every time.” Did she know about all the others?

 

“Then we're okay. As long as you're telling the truth.”

 

“How are we okay when I came in you twice?”

 

“I'm on the pill.” She had sort of a `duh' tone in her voice. “Do you really think I'm stupid enough to have sex regularly without being on the pill?”

 

“How safe is that?”

 

“Like over 99%.” So we were okay. If that was the case. . .

 

“Is that why it felt so awesome?” She laughed and put her arms around me.

 

“Yes. Condoms really dull the sensations. At least for guys. I actually like them because then I'm not all messy. Speaking of that.” Without bothering to cover up, she went across the room for some tissues to clean herself. Then she threw some pajamas on. I decided to get dressed too, after cleaning up a bit myself.

 

“Well, we're not using them anymore.” Essie stopped what she was doing and turned to me.

 

“So you want to keep seeing me?”

 

“What did you think?”

 

“Honestly, I don't know. I didn't want to get my hopes up.” I moved close enough to put my arms around her.

 

“I don't know what to do about Mitch, but I'm pretty damn sure I can't stop seeing you.”

 

“You stopped before.”

 

“It's different now.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Essie, please.” She had that `you're not leaving here until you tell me' look on her face. “There's a lot of reasons, but mostly because I can't stand watching someone else have you. You're mine Essie.” That didn't make her happy, but it didn't make her mad either. She wanted me to say that I loved her, but I wasn't ready for that.

 

“I guess that's enough for now.” We were both quiet for a minute. “You have to break up with her Kevin.”

 

“I know. Essie, I'm sorry I even dated her. I knew how you would feel and I did it anyway because I'm selfish.”

 

“It's not your fault.”

 

“Yes it is Essie. Now listen to me. You keep thinking I'm such a great guy, but there's so much you don't know. I want to tell you everything, but you have to stop having such high expectations of me or you're going to end up very disappointed.”

 

“If you can manage to never speak to her again, I'll be fine.” That was a tall order, but I understood.

 

“And Mitch?”

 

“I'm still thinking about that. If I want him away from me for good, so he can finally move on, I have to do something he won't forgive. And it can't be us. Just give me a little time. Besides, it will be obvious if we both break up with them at the same time.” I hated that idea, but she was right.

 

“Promise me you won't let him touch you.”

 

“I promise.”

 

 

 

When I got home, it was late and all the lights were out. I strolled through the basement door as usual.

 

“Where have you been?”

 

“Jesus Mitch.” I jumped back a little at the sound of his voice, but then quickly recovered. “I went to Stacy's to have dinner with her mom.”

 

“Then where did you go.” Mitch didn't sound good and he didn't look good. He had caught on. That scene in my room had shaken him and now he wasn't sure about anything. He must have known I was with Essie.

 

“ Essie called me and I went to her house for. . .awhile.”

 

“Why Kevin?” He was working to control his voice, making sure to not sound accusing.

 

“She wanted my opinion on the two of you getting back together.”

 

“What did you tell her?”

 

“That you really loved her and would do anything for her.”

 

“I would Kevin. I know you were there longer than it should have taken to talk about that, so I'm going to ask you once. I'll believe whatever you say. Did either of you cross the line.” He must not have been able to bring himself to say the words.

 

“No.” I wanted to say more to comfort him, but anything else would just make it all the worse later when he did find out someday.

 

“Okay.”

 

8

 

“No Kevin.” Essie slid across the couch from me, refusing to give in.

 

“You still haven't broken up with her and we've been back at school for days.”

 

“I know, I know. After what Mitch said last week, I didn't want to break up with her that night. Some time had to pass. Technically, you're still dating him.”

 

“Yes I am and the longer you keep seeing her, the longer I have to keep seeing Mitch. Do you know how hard it is to keep making excuses? He thinks I've been sick all week. What have you been telling her?”

 

“Nothing. I haven't seen her outside of school. At school. . . I've been avoiding her.” Which I had. Maybe that was a good thing so when I did break up with her, it wouldn't be completely out of the blue. “She keeps trying to get me to come over to talk about things.”

 

“She just wants to get you alone.”

 

“You don't think I can resist her?”

 

“You don't have the best track record.”

 

“Only with you.” I slid on my knees to her side of the couch, taking her in my arms, kissing her on the neck. Surprisingly, she let me so I tried more. Things were heating up and I let myself fall into that place where my senses rule me. Just when I hit the point where I couldn't stand it anymore, Essie slid out from underneath me and stood by the door.

 

“We're going to be late.”

 

“Essie, I don't care.”

 

“Break up with her Kevin and then you can have me again.” My blood was burning everywhere, not just because she was pissing me off, but she'd purposely driven me to near insanity. “Hey, today's the last day to sign up for new semester. We should take a class together. Something basic that anyone can get into. If I go to the counselor and see what's there, will you go too?” What the hell was she thinking? Like I was in any state to be talking about this.

 

“Sure Essie. Remind me.”

 

“Let's just do it when we get to school. Park your car and meet me in the office.” That was the start of my day and by the end of it, it would be a thousand times worse than a throbbing pain.

 

Essie and I have the same counselor, because they were arranged alphabetically, so we could go in at the same time to schedule a class. There were a few seats open for a class 1st hour and we both had had gym. So we switched our gym to later period and signed up for the class. I wasn't even sure what it was, but Essie seemed to be interested. We left the guidance center separately. I still had some time before first hour, so I found Stacy. After our hellos, I hustled her down the hall, away from any crowds.

 

“I'm sorry about this week. I really haven't been around.”

 

“Yeah, I noticed. We had all these plans with Rose and Chase that you bailed on.” When Stacy was pissed, she turned on bitch mode and was nearly a different person.

 

“Well, you should know the truth.” At least as much as I could tell her.

 

“I want to see other people, well only one I guess and she's not real into sharing.” It really hadn't been that difficult to get through, probably because the ache in my jeans was not letting me forget that it needed to be done now.

 

“Jesus Kevin, what the hell? Is it Essie again?” Again?

 

“Don't be stupid Stacy, Essie's dating Mitch. I don't want to go through a whole bunch of crap. I'm sorry about ending it this way, but believe me it's for the best.” She didn't try to speak, not to yell or ask questions. She just stared at me. The bell rang and I was safe to walk away.

 

At lunch time, Mitch found me first.

 

“Hey, have you seen Essie today?”

 

“No. Why?” He was acting very strange; fidgety hands, wandering eyes, that sort of thing.

 

“I just wanted to know if she was coming tonight.”

 

“I'm sure she is.”

 

“Hey do you mind sitting with her.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Just do it for me.”

 

“Okay.” He walked away from me briskly, leaving me very confused by the whole thing.

 

I was hoping to see Essie right after school, as you can imagine, but she had to work. When I told her about Mitch, she didn't seem too concerned and said she would meet me there, but asked me to pick of Troy to take him, apparently he wanted to go. So I picked up Troy at 6:30 and together we went to the basketball game.

 

“Why are you suddenly interested in basketball?”

 

“I think it's obvious I've been interested in basketball for awhile.” He actually smirked, something he rarely did around me. “Before this year, I went to nearly every game with Essie.” I'd never noticed him before.

 

“Have you always liked Porter?” Once I could get over the mental pictures in my head, the whole situation was actually turning from twisted to interesting.

 

“Let's just say. . .awhile” The way he said `awhile' could have meant years.

 

“How'd you know he was. . .gay?”

 

“I guess I could tell something about him, but he's the one that made the first move, technically.”

 

“No way! Porter went after you.” He laughed a little and I could tell he was remembering something.

 

“He used to come to my practices and sit in the stands. That probably would have gone on forever if I hadn't finally said something to him and even then, he wasn't quite ready.”

 

“What convinced him?”

 

“I don't think you want to know about that part.”

 

“No. Probably not. Are you going to take him back?”

 

“What makes you think he's still interested?”

 

“You've got to be joking. I don't care what my brother says about this Anna girl, Porter clearly doesn't play for that team. She could be the nicest, prettiest, sweetest girl and in the end, he won't care.”

 

“What would you know about it?”

 

“I really can't believe I'm going to admit this, but I'm pretty sure Porter feels about you, the way I feel about Essie. Whether I want to remember homecoming night or not, I do and believe me, he'll take you back. Little Anna really stands no chance against you.”

 

He didn't ask any more questions and neither did I, both of us having had enough of each other for one night.

 

Essie showed up right before the game started. She sat in the wide space left between Troy and me.

 

“Hey.” She was talking to me, but Troy still nodded. It was really weird to be with her like this, in public. I felt so much for her I thought every look gave it away. Chase came by alone and said hi and that they would be sitting somewhere else. He looked from me to Essie and just gave me that look.

 

“Rose is waiting for you Chase.”

 

“Kevin, I don't know what you're doing, but be careful.” We were obvious. Chase could see or maybe he'd put it all together.

 

It was a hard game to watch. Porter and Mitch played awful and we lost by twenty. The game was over and we were all getting ready to leave. Troy was heading to the court when he called back.

 

“Essie, I'm cleaning my room tonight.”

 

“Right. Good luck with that.”

 

“What does that mean?” Cause I was pretty sure he wasn't cleaning anything tonight.

 

“It means we can't stop there before the party like we planned.”

 

“Essie, I'm going to go insane.” Yes, I was whinning.

 

“Mitch is coming.”

 

“Hey guys, I got to hang out here awhile and shower. I'll just meet you at the party. You should eat or something.”

 

“I've got to stop home and drop the car off, if you don't mind driving me home tonight Essie.”

 

“I think we can do that.” She smiled at Mitch and we turned to leave.

 

“No kiss goodbye Essie?”

 

“I didn't want to get you sick.”

 

“Right, see you later.” This was perfect. We could go to my house and have plenty of time to make it to the party. My parents weren't back from the game, even better. As soon as we were safely behind closed doors we were on each other.

 

“So how did she take it?” Of course Essie would want to know the details our first moment alone.

 

“She was pissed.”

 

“Good.” We were back in my bedroom now. “Thank you for breaking up with her. Do you want me to show you how happy I am?”

 

“Yes.” I was more than ready after being strung along all day. It was not going to take me very long at all. She took her time moving all the way down. “Essie, please.”

 

“Have a little patience Kevin. It'll make the end feel so much better.” Then she started, but teasingly, starting fast, then nearly stopping. So many times I was on the brink and she would stop again.

 

“Essie,” I pleaded as I reached to guide her. Finally she was going and going till about ten seconds later I was screaming and jerking all over. “How do you manage to make it better and better every time?”

 

“She's had years of practice.” Essie and I both jumped up, me fumbling with my pants though he'd already seen everything. Mitch's eyes were red, indicating he'd listened to everything. He must have followed us back here. Now he was hatefully staring at Essie. “What did I do to you to give you a reason to hurt me like this, to seduce my own brother?!” Mitch starting moving closer to her, and I immediately stepped between them.

 

“Mitch back off, be pissed at me. I should have stayed away from her.” Finally he turned to me, with a look that could burn through me.

 

“I've had Essie hundreds of times more than you Kevin, I of all people know what she can do. If she wanted you, you really didn't stand a chance. No matter how crazy I am right now, I can't blame you. Get her out of my face.” Essie practically ran out of the room and I followed her to her car.

 

“Why'd you come out here, he's probably watching our every move.” I leaned over and kissed her one more time, afraid it might just be the last time. Then I went back in without any promise of when I would see or talk to her again.

 

Mitch was waiting in the living area of the basement. I still didn't know what I was going to say. Essie would do or say whatever I wanted, but the choice was mine.

Right now, the only thing I knew was that I was going to tell him everything. If he demanded I stop seeing her, I guess I would.

 

“How long?” The words were out before I could even close the door.

 

“The first time was the night before homecoming.” He leaned back into the couch, crossing his arms and nodded a few times.

 

“Then it stopped?”

 

“Yes. About three weeks after that. She said I had to tell you or end it. So I left.”

 

“When did it start again?”

 

“Christmas.” But he already seemed to know that, having nearly walked in on us. He stood and walked to his room. “Aren't you going to ask me why?”

 

“I know why you did it Kevin. It's my own fault for telling you about all the things she could do and having sex when I knew you were home. That had to do a number on you. So I can forgive you for wanting her, even letting that want control you.”

 

“What if it's more than that?”

 

“More than sex? Can I forgive you if you what, love her?” He looked up at me, tired face, sad eyes.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Great sex isn't love Kevin. But I won't make you stop seeing her, I won't make you choose. What's the point, I know you'd choose me and I'm not going to be jealous. In fact, I'm lucky I found out who she is now before I lost any more time on her. But I don't want her over here.” He kept walking and was almost at his door before he said one last thing. “Kevin, have all the fun you want, but don't fall in love with her. Essie's so screwed up she doesn't even know what she wants. I mean, look what she was willing to do to get you back in her bed.” His words bounced off me as I waited for him to close the door then walked out the other one, to her.