Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ Thoughtful Misconceptions ❯ Drunk Man's Words ( Chapter 3 )

Chapter 3

Erin took a long drag of her cigarette. A week ago, she thought of herself as a former smoker and here she was waking up in the morning and lighting a cigarette with her first cup of coffee. She sighed, tapping her cigarette out on the ashtray that she dug out from under the sink. She decided to wait until after she drank a cup or two of coffee before waking Ian up. She liked her alone time and as much as she liked being with Ian, there was an unexplainable freedom in being alone. They both had the day off. No school and no work. It rarely happened that they both had the day off on a Friday. She generally made a lot of money on a Friday being a server but someone had asked to take her shift and having a Friday and Saturday off appealed to her, especially with the play starting soon. She didn't know if she had a main part or not but she was fairly confident she would have something and the play would take up a lot of her time.

She took a sip of her black coffee, disdaining the sweeteners that Ian coveted. It had been a good week. They still teased each other and hung out together after work, watching movies or occasionally playing a video game. Sometimes, not often, she would find Ian looking at her strangely when he thought she wasn't paying attention. It wasn't a telling look. She couldn't read it. She groaned, rubbing her eyes. Maybe she could. Maybe she was just being naïve. She loved him, plain and simple. And that look he gave her. There was attraction in it, she could see that plainly. There was hurt in it too. The other night when she told him no. It hurt him. He was angry with her for rejecting him.

She stood, walking back into the apartment to refill her coffee. Maybe angry was too strong. Obviously she would have been upset if the roles had been reversed. Sometimes when he looked at her, he looked as confused as she felt. She laughed to herself. God, they were two children fighting over the same toy that neither of them would admit that they wanted. In Ian's defense, she was fully aware of the mixed signals she gave him. One minute she wanted him as close to her as possible. The next minute, she was frightened of him. As much as she blamed Ian for not being able to get over Heather, it was her who would not let their relationship go. Ian saw Heather recently and his reaction was mostly apathy. If that wasn't a sign of being over her then what was. She lit another cigarette. It was her who couldn't let go of Heather. When Ian and Heather had been together, Heather and her had mostly gotten along. They were never easy with each other but at the time, Erin really understood it. What woman would be easy with her? Ian looked to her for everything. She would see Heather make a face occasionally when Ian gave her some kind of affection. Never anything serious but her face would get tight and she would get quiet but what was Erin supposed to say? To do? Tell Ian that he could not hug her? She felt a little empty without him with her constantly. She tried so hard not to capitalize on his time. He loved Heather so much and after a few months, she found herself backing off from their relationship more and more. It wasn't something particular that either one of them had said but she started to feel like it was time. It hurt but at the same time, she was Ian's sister, right? She had to allow him to love someone else, as hard as it had been.

The amazing part is that she would have been fine. She would have been all right with Heather. She wasn't her favorite person but she loved Ian too much to let something so petty to get in the way of Ian's happiness. Then it had happened. The `it' that had changed her completely. Her life had been changed in that one night and when she called Ian needing him, needing him to tell her that she did not deserve what happened to her, he ignored her. When she left a message on his phone saying how much she needed him, he ignored her. He never called back. He came back eventually but he brought Heather with him. It was his way of saying that even though he still lived with her, it was Heather who occupied his days. She told herself that was all right. And she was going to force herself to believe that. So when Ian pressed himself against her and wanted her to give that to him again, she couldn't help but shut herself down. Had he been there before, then maybe she could love him more but when she needed him most, she felt she had taken a backseat.

She heard a loud groan that seemed to protest the morning itself in just its volume. Erin smiled. Part of her was angry with Ian but most of her still needed him. She already hated herself enough, why blame Ian? She went into the apartment to pour Ian a cup of coffee. She added sugar and milk, ignoring the flavored creamer in the fridge. If Ian was going to have sugar, he was going to at least have her organic sugar and milk. It was a battle between them but since she woke up first most mornings, she tended to win.

Ian trudged out of his bedroom, his long hair askew. Erin had just spent the last half hour judging him for the way he looked at her but when he walked out of his bedroom with low hanging sweat pants and his hair a mess, she found herself feeling oddly attracted to him. This last week had been weird. He seemed different. She wasn't sure it was because he was acting differently or because she wanted to see him differently.

“Good morning, Sunshine.” She said in falsely cheerful way. Ian eyed her, not saying anything but taking the coffee and sipping slowly. “What do you have planned today?”

Ian groaned again, running his hand through his messy hair. “Erin, seriously, I just woke up.” He took another sip, this one bigger than the first. “Shut up.”

She chuckled, taking a sip herself and pulling out another a cigarette.

Ian eyed her. “So you've picked that up again?”

“So you're going to judge me again?”

He shrugged almost nonchalantly but he didn't quite hit it. “No judging.” He set his coffee cup down and scratched his head. “I thought you quit last year but this is the second time in six months you've picked it up.”

She stared at him, lips pinched. She wanted to be pissed at him. She wasn't sure why but she knew she wanted to be angry. She took a deep breath. “I'm going outside.”

“Are you really throwing a fit?” Ian asked disgusted from inside the apartment.

She ignored him sitting on the patio chair. She really wasn't upset about the cigarette thing. Ian never liked it when she smoked and he was kind of a jerk about it but that's just who he was. She thought that she was actually angry with him because of what she was thinking about before he woke up. She wanted to still be angry with him even though she really shouldn't. Or at least if she was going to be angry at him, he deserved to know why.

“How's your pout fest going?” Ian prodded as he joined her outside too.

“Rather well, thank you.”

Ian chuckled and sat down in the opposite chair. “It's all right with me if you smoke.”

“Oh, gee, really?” She answered, mockingly. “I was really worried about whether or not it was all right with you.”

Ian frowned at her. “Stop being a bitch. You know that's not how I meant it.”

Erin snorted.

“I meant that I really don't have a say anyway and if you want to smoke, I'm not going to give you a hard time about it.” He paused as if thinking over is next sentence. “It seems like both times you started up again after officially quitting that there was something stressing you out.”

Erin shrugged, noncommittal. “Sometimes I get stressed out.”

Ian leaned forward, his long hair still tousled. “See you say that but I don't understand how this week is any different than a month ago but here you are.” He sat back, taking another sip of his coffee. “The last time, I thought it was because of me and you know.”

Erin eyed him angrily. “What do you mean?”

Ian stopped meeting her eyes. “I just thought when you started up earlier this year because of me and Heather getting serious.” He fidgeted a little under her stare.

Erin laughed without humor. “No, Ian, I did not start smoking again because I was jealous of you and that stupid bitch.”

Ian shrugged. “How was I supposed to know?” He was started to sound a little angry. “You got really weird on me, Erin. I couldn't figure out what was going on. You avoided me. You wouldn't even look at me for weeks. I even confronted Heather thinking she said something to you and nothing. Then all of a sudden, one day you were fine with me again.”

Erin shook her head, feeling the anger just fall out of her. “Is that how you remember that?” Ian nodded, sullenly and Erin stood up with her empty cup. “I'm going to get some more coffee.”

Ian looked at her in disbelief. “That's it?”

She sighed, one had going to her hip. “Let me get some coffee.” She went into the kitchen taking deep breaths. She wasn't ready to talk to Ian about that. She wasn't ready to forgive him. He assumed that she was being petty about Heather, even after all this time he still thought it was something stupid and inconsequential. “All right, some of that was jealousy.” She admitted when she returned to the patio. “But a lot of that was just in your head.” She lied. “I wasn't any different. You were just so infatuated with Heather that you didn't really notice.

“Not true.”

“True.” She argued. Not totally true she admitted to herself but she wanted Ian to leave her behavior alone. She wasn't ready to talk to him. “And the reason you thought things were normal again was because you and Heather broke up.”

Ian thought about it. He didn't seem ready to relinquish his argument but he couldn't deny how head over heels for Heather he had been. It was why he had felt so broken when he found out that she had been cheating. Erin had never told him but she knew there was an engagement ring sitting in his dresser. She didn't know exactly when he bought it but she came across soon after they had broken up. She peeked in the box when she found it, she couldn't help herself. It was stunningly simple and so beautiful. Erin had sighed loudly when she saw it. Ian had picked out something that she would have loved, not Heather. No wonder Heather had talked to her with barely contained jealousy.

Ian sighed, giving up. Not because he thought Erin was right but she was in volatile mood this morning and he knew it could get ugly today. “I guess it doesn't really matter.”

“Nope, it really doesn't.” Erin responded waspishly.

Ian laughed at her. “Oh, calm down.”

Erin crossed her arms not appreciating being laughed at. Ian reached out and picked up the offending cigarette pack. “I'll leave you alone, Drama Queen.”

Erin took them back from him and smiled a little. “All right.” Erin glanced at her phone, “Crap, I have to go.”

“Where? I thought we both had the day off.”

“I do but I promised my mom I would have breakfast with her and then I was going to swing by the theatre and see if they had the parts posted.” Erin pulled a little mirror out of her bag and quickly wiped away her smeared mascara. She pouted her lips and batted her eyes at Ian. “How do I look all natural?” She rhymed natural with Al.

Ian snorted. “Your hair is greasy.”

Erin laughed. “Yeah, that's the look I'm going for.” She went back into the apartment and dumped her coffee into a travel mug. She heard Ian say something unintelligible from the patio. “Just a second, I have to get dressed.” She went into her bedroom, tossing aside her pile of dirty clothes, hoping to come up with a pile of clean or almost clean clothes. She pulled out an orange and green sweater dress and threw that on with a pair of leggings that probably constituted as dirty but she was in a hurry. Throwing a brush through her hair real quick, she ran back into the living room. Ian was sprawled out onto the couch. “What were you saying?” She asked as she pulled on dangly earrings and grabbed her boots out of the front closet.

Ian yawned. “I said I think I might go back to bed for a while. And then I was wondering if we had plans tonight.”

“I have plans. You can be included in them if you want.” Erin said, digging through her purse and making sure that had her phone.

“How very gracious of you.”

Erin laughed. “Actually, I don't have anything official but I was thinking it would be fun to have Marcus and Sabrina over tonight to celebrate our parts, or lack of parts, I guess.”

“Works for me.” Ian rolled over, pulling the blanket over himself. “Wake me up when you get home from breakfast.”

“Bye.” She called over her shoulder as she ran out the door. Her mom was always late for everything so she wasn't incredibly worried about making her mom wait too long. She started up her truck, feeling relaxed despite getting so angry at Ian. She was that way. She could go from angry to happy in way too short amount of time. She didn't really see a point in being mad at Ian for not liking her smoking. It made sense. It wasn't good for her. It was why she had given it up in the first place. For some reason right now, reasons she was likely refusing to acknowledge, she wanted to smoke for a little while. Not forever, just a little while.

She pulled into the parking lot of the small breakfast place her and her mom were supposed to meet. She walked really fast into the restaurant after her mom's SUV in the parking lot. Her mom was sitting at a table sipping coffee. Erin smiled seeing her. Her mom was a gorgeous woman, especially if you went off the looks the male cliental at the restaurant were giving her. Her mother was oblivious to the looks which made her more beautiful.

She sat at the table and leaned forward to kiss her mom. She did not look like her mom. Everyone thought she did. They saw her silky black hair and darker skin and saw her mother but all in all, they were different. Her mom was short and curvy, with a figure that caught more attention than a woman in her forties usually did. Erin on the other hand, was just above average height and thin. She was still pretty she thought but different from her mother.

“Mama,” She said warmly as she grabbed the coffee her mother had already ordered for her. “How are you?”

Her mom smiled really big. She did have her mom's smile. Same mouth, same full smile. “I'm good. Long week at work, but I took today off. They threatened me if I worked any more overtime and apparently, I was at my limit this week.”

Erin laughed. “As a server, they threaten my life if I go over forty hours. Apparently, they have to go from paying us two dollars an hour to time and a half from minimum wage and that makes us much too expensive.”

Her mom rolled her eyes, “You should be making time and a half. You don't make enough money, you're too talented for two dollars an hour.”

She grinned. Her mom had so much faith in her. “I don't make very much money because I'm not a very good waitress.”

“Yes, you are.”

“Look, mom, just because you think I'm the bee's knees doesn't mean I'm good at waitressing.” She said, teasing her mom.

“Did you just say `the bee's knees'? That's dorky.”

Erin opened her mouth to respond but their server interrupted. Erin ordered an omelet and her mom ordered almost identically. She watched her mom order without saying anything. Her mom and her were so much alike but so different. She told her a lot of things, almost everything. Except for everything with Ian. Her mom loved Ian like her own son and she felt like if she told her about the bad, her mom would view him differently. Erin didn't want anyone else to think badly of him. And even if she did tell her mom that Ian had betrayed her in her eyes, she'd have to tell her how he betrayed her. She didn't want her mom to deal with that. It would upset her and then Erin would have to explain in every way that she should have done things differently. She wasn't ready for that. She wanted to tell her. It just would make her so sad and she didn't want to do that.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Erin pulled into the theatre building. There was another car in the parking lot but she didn't see anyone. She felt kind of confident about getting a main part but she was also nervous. Someone could have come on the other audition night and been better than her. The night she went, she thought she did really well but it was so hard to judge. The sign was posted on the door. Even with the wonderful technology of social media sites and the internet, there was nothing better than going up to the door and seeing your name posted.

She screamed in excitement as she saw her own name written next to Lucy. She jumped up and down. Lucy. That's the part she really wanted. Lucy was such an amazing character. She skimmed the list. Marcus had the part of Sir Danvers. She made a little squeal again.

“That was really loud.”

Erin jumped again, this time because the voice from nowhere scared her. She spun around to see Aidan standing casually behind her, hands tucked into his pockets. Her face felt hot. “Hi.”

He gave a small smile, looking shy and confident at once. “Hi.” He shrugged toward the parts posting. “I assume you got the part you wanted?”

Erin grinned, embarrassment fading a little. “I did. And my friend, Marcus, got the part that he was hoping for. I mean, I'm sure he really wanted Jekyll and Hyde but he wasn't very confident that he would get it.”

“Hm, who got Jekyll and Hyde?” He asked leaning against the door, making Erin a little nervous with his close proximity. People didn't make her nervous and somehow this stranger did.

She scanned the list and rolled her eyes and stared at Aidan expectantly. “Really?”

“What?” He said with a little bit more of a smile.

“Do you really need an ego boost that bad?”

He chuckled low. “No, I'm good.” He crossed his arms still leaning against the building. “So you, Erin, are my love interest.”

She stopped herself from grinning. “Well, technically, I'm a prostitute that has a thing for you.” She scanned the cast list again. “It seems that this Kaylee is actually your love interest.”

He nodded. “She is. Do you think she's pretty?”

Erin looked at him oddly, “Does it matter?”

“No. Not really.” He smiled at her. “Emma shouldn't be prettier than Lucy and this Lucy is awfully cute.”

Erin held her breath, relishing in the compliment. She looked at Aidan in the eyes. He still looked like Ian to her. His hair was short while Ian's was long but it was the same color. The face was similar and the eye color was close but still different. Ian's eyes were the color of the summer sky. Light blue and so incredibly beautiful. Aidan's were dark blue. It made her think of storms. “You're teasing me.” She accused, remembering that she was wearing very little make up and her hair was passable at best.

He leaned closer, his expression became serious but she could still see the smile in his eyes. “Never.”

“I have to go.” She said suddenly, leaning away from him.

Aidan looked momentarily surprised but his casual nonchalance was back quick enough. “Oh?” He said like he didn't believe her.

She frowned at him, “Yes, I do.” She started to walk away and turned before she was out of ear shot. “I have plans with friends tonight.”

Aidan smiled at her again, bigger than he had so far. “Whatever you say.”

She dramatically rolled her eyes so he could tell from across the parking lot. He laughed at her then. A big deep, hearty laugh and Erin grinned to herself but didn't allow him to see. He was a cute, sure, but guys like him didn't usually mean well. Good looking, talented and likely smart, it was better for her to stay away from that.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

She opened the door to her apartment to find Ian still sleeping on the couch. She checked her watch. She had been gone for hours. After checking the cast list, she had gone by the grocery store which had taken her forever because Halloween was very close and she had to ogle all the stuff that she was waiting to go on clearance. It was already 3, and Marcus and Sabrina were planning on showing up around 5 for dinner. She set the grocery down heavily expecting the noise to cause Ian to stir. Ian didn't even turn over. “Dummy.” She said with affection.

Ian stirred and groaned.

She stomped over and shook his shoulder. “Hey, dummy.”

He opened one eye, not looking amused. “What?”

“You wanted me to wake you when I got back so I'm waking you.”

Ian yawned hugely and sat up, brushing his hair from his face. He got up slowly and wandered toward the counter where she was starting to put away groceries. “I see that you decided to get a few groceries to go with your booze.”

Erin laughed and set a six pack of beer on the counter. “If you don't like how I shop, I can return this beer I bought you.”

Ian reached out to grab it and Erin pulled it out of his reach. “Now, now, don't be hasty,” He countered. “That is my favorite.”

She slid it toward him. “Put it in the fridge, would you?” Ian yawned again but stood up to do as she asked. “Are you going to shower before Marcus and Sabrina get here?” Ian shrugged, uninterested. “Well?”

“I'm barely awake, woman, let me wake up first.” Ian responded, sounding irritated.

“I need to shower too and they are going to be here really soon so I either need you to get in the shower right now or promise me that you are not going to bitch and moan when I am taking too long in the shower.” Erin snapped back.

Ian looked mutinous for a moment and then grinned. “We could just shower together.”

Erin felt her face burn red. What was with today? First Aidan flirted with her and now Ian was being vulgar. “Not in a million years.” She stated plainly.

Ian laughed loudly seeing her embarrassment. “You say so now,” He grinned, “But we'll see, Erin, we'll see.”

She couldn't think of anything cheeky to say before he left the kitchen and shut the bathroom door behind him. She sighed to herself. Even if she did come up with something witty, it would have lost its effect by the time she went to the bathroom, knocked on the door, and then loudly gave him a comeback over the shower noise. She started putting away the rest of the groceries, throwing her wine in the freezer along with two of Ian's beer bottles to get them chilled sooner. She actually enjoyed Ian's comment more than she would admit. It wasn't just that she was getting an ego boost kind of day but also because Ian joking like that meant that he was feeling comfortable with her again. They used to always joke like that and after they had slept together, the jokes kind of fell to the wayside. It was less funny to joke about seeing her naked when he had not only seen her naked but did so when he was using her to rebound from a cheating ex-girlfriend. It wasn't that they stopped joking around, that was often their main form of communication but the comfort and ease around each other had taken time to come back.

She made her way to her bedroom, shedding the likely dirty clothes and leisurely started going through her closet trying to decide what to wear. She actually didn't think it was because of them sleeping together that things had been weird for a while. For Ian it was. She knew it was. He felt guilty about it. Part of her thought he should feel guilty about it. He was using her that night. She knew it and he knew it. He was so hurt and looking back, she was sure he thought that he took advantage of her.

In some ways he did but really, she loved him too much and just wanted to comfort him. Maybe that was still being taken advantage of but for him, she willingly gave that up. In reality things had gotten weird before that. Erin grimaced. Too much of their problems traced back to that one woman. Erin couldn't blame her for everything but sometimes, it all seemed to be her fault.

“Erin did you…” Ian said stopping suddenly as he opened the door.

Erin jumped, gave a small scream and grabbed her robe lying on the ground. “Get out, you idiot.” She yelled at him, wrapping the robe around her body haphazardly. Ian paused, staring at her. He was wearing a towel but wasn't wet. “Ian.” She said calmly, sternly, wanting to distract him. “Get out.”

He blinked and grinned sheepishly, ducking back out of the door. Cracking it so she could still hear, he leaned in a little. “Hey, did you get more shampoo today?”

She sighed, irritated. “Yes, it's in the kitchen still.” She pulled the robe on all the way. “And since when do you think it's all right to just walk into my room without knocking?” She asked accusingly, swinging the door open.

Ian had the good grace to look embarrassed. “I wasn't thinking.” He stomped into the kitchen and grabbed the shampoo off the counter. “The shower was running and I was in a hurry.”

“No sense of boundaries.” She stated loudly.

He snorted, walking back into the bathroom. “Stop hanging out naked and it wouldn't be an issue.” He slammed the door, not caring about hearing her response.

She laughed, her initial embarrassment fading a little and her heartbeat slowing down a little. It had happened before. Two people can't live together in such close quarters without it happening. It was just a surprise on top of him making suggestive comments earlier. She went to the bathroom door. “You're an asshole.” She yelled without any anger. Ian didn't respond but she thought she heard him laughing.

~*~*~*~**~*~*~

A knock sounded on the door. Erin was still in her room finishing up applying her make up. “Ian, can you get that?”

She heard the door open and muffled conversation. She quickly applied her lipstick and ran her fingers through her black hair again. She came out of her room to Marcus and Sabrina coming in and hanging up jackets. “Hey, Sabrina.” She said smiling as she embraced Sabrina. She turned to Marcus who grinned from ear to ear, holding his arms out to her. She leapt into his arms in an exuberant hug. “Congratulations, Sir Danvers.” She squealed as he spun her around.

He kissed her soundly on the cheek. “I think it is I who should be congratulating you, Lucy.”

She shrugged modestly. “Eh, it's only one of the three main parts.”

Marcus set her back on her feet and shook his head. “Funny how modesty becomes you.” He picked up the plastic bag he brought in, putting his beer into the fridge. He knew their apartment almost as well as they did. Erin made her way to the kitchen and pulled burger patties out. She handed them to Ian, “Would you get these going?”

Ian took the plate and set it on the counter. “In a second.” Erin tapped her foot impatiently. “Calm down, woman.” He said as he grabbed a beer out of the fridge. “Anyone else?” Marcus held up his hand and Ian tossed him one. Marcus followed Ian out onto the patio.

Sabrina watched them walking out with a smile on her face. “So you and Marcus came here together?” Erin asked without preamble.

Sabrina looked at her, distracted. “Hm?”

Erin gave her a knowing smile. “You and Marcus? You came together.”

Sabrina blushed a little but sat at the counter where Erin was making salad. “We did.” She said not being forthcoming.

“Is anything going on?” Erin asked with curiosity.

“Well, Marcus said I wasn't allowed to tell you anything because then you'll ruin my image of him with terrible stories that you made up.” They both giggled. Erin poured two glasses of wine, abandoning the salad for gossip.

“Did he?” She took a sip of wine. “Well, I'm sure I can come through on that.”

Sabrina giggled again. “Well, we went out the other night and it was nice.”

“Only nice?” She prompted.

Sabrina's face reddened again. “It was great actually. He took me to a really nice dinner and we went out for drinks afterward and it was just wonderful.”

“I had no idea. Marcus never mentioned anything.”

Sabrina shrugged. “I think he thought I would say no, which, is silly. I've had a crush on him forever.”

Erin looked at her surprised. “You did?”

“Yes, that's why I started hanging around with you guys. No offense but you are not the friendliest girl in the world.”

“What?” Erin said, sounding offended and amused all at once.

Sabrina took a gulp of wine as if bolstering her courage. “When I started hanging around, you were nice but hardly friendly. I would have ran in fear if it hadn't been for Marcus wanting me around.”

Erin shrugged. “I guess I can't fault you for that.”

Ian walked back in with Marcus. “I thought you were going to make the salad.”

“I am.” Erin answered, not turning around.

“Hardly.” Ian muttered. He started chopping the vegetables himself. “Lazy.”

Erin wasn't offended. “Yep.”

~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~

Erin refilled her wine. Her and Sabrina had killed one bottle and were well into their second bottle. She felt buzzed and was talking a little loud but she was having fun. She just grabbed the bottle and carried it into the living room with her. “So, Marcus, I hear from Sabrina that you are afraid of the stories that we would tell about you.” She said teasingly as she sat next to Ian.

“Yeah, that would be really weird for you to be so mean.” Marcus said to her warningly.

She was sober enough to catch the tone but it was too much fun to tease Marcus. He worked so hard to be smooth when Sabrina was around.

Ian laughed. “Yeah, Erin is kind of a bitch sometimes.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Marcus exclaimed loudly, “I wasn't saying that at all.”

Ian snorted. “Yes, you were.” He crossed his arms. “Did Marcus ever tell you how he and Erin became friends?”

Erin cackled, taking a large drink of her wine. “Ian, you are going for blood.”

He grinned and winked at Erin. “Yeah, when we were in middle school, Marcus was what you would call a geek.”

Marcus leaned forward, looking uncomfortable and trying to get Sabrina's attention back on him. “Now, now, not a geek per say.”

Erin pushed him back. “No, a geek. Large glasses, bad haircut, the works. And not only did he look like a geek but he was also smarter than everyone and had no problem making sure people knew.”

Ian barked out laughter. “Oh my gosh, he was such a know it all.”

Erin put a finger to Ian's mouth dramatically, shushing him. “Yeah, we all wanted to beat him up.” She turned back to Sabrina. “So anyway, we were playing softball and if you haven't already guessed, Marcus was not an athlete.” She grinned unabashedly at Marcus. “Him and I both were in the outfield and genius here wasn't watching where he was going while he was trying to catch a pop up and he ran straight into me knocking me over.”

“Which obviously pissed me off.” Ian said matter of fact. “No one messed with Erin.”

Sabrina looked from Ian to Marcus. “So what did he do?”

Marcus failed to look amused. “He tackled me. Hard.”

Sabrina squealed in laughter. “So mean.” She said to Ian.

Erin interrupted. “I felt the same way. Pompous know it all or not, he didn't deserve to get beat up for being a bad athlete. So I tackled Ian and tried to pull him off of Marcus.”

Ian looked pleased with himself. “At this point, Marcus had a black eye and the gym teacher got involved and starting pulling us off of each other.” He paused. “Also, Erin had started swinging too and that wasn't going well for me.” He grinned at Erin, making her giggle. “Either way, we all ended up in the principal's office for a while, something must have gone on that day because it felt like we were in there forever.”

“Eventually bruises stopped aching and middle school egos started deflating, we started talking and we've been inseparable since.” Erin finished.

Sabrina looked at Marcus disbelievingly. “Is it true?”

Marcus tried to look unaffected. “Well, only partly.”

“Which part?” Sabrina asked immediately.

“Yeah, which part?” Ian asked combatively.

Marcus sighed in defeat. “Fine, it's all true.” He admitted causing them all to laugh uproariously.

Erin stood up unsteadily. “I'm going to the porch, kids.” Sabrina and Marcus barely acknowledged her but Ian got up to follow. She stood at the railing, the parking lot full of cars but no people. There were a few night owls in their apartment complex but for the most part if a neighbor was being too loud, it was usually them. She lit her cigarette and handed one to Ian. “You want one?” Ian nodded. She held out her lighter, lighting it first try. “Not so drunk.” She grinned.

Ian snorted. “Drunk enough, woman.” He took a long drag. He didn't usually smoke but get a few beers in him and he would sit out with her and inhale a few.

She giggled and leaned back against the railing, facing Ian. “What's been your deal?”

He tapped his cigarette, “My deal?”

Erin tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Your deal, sir. I feel like I can't get a grasp on you. I thought we were in our normal and then you've gone and changed our normal.”

“I changed our normal?” Ian asked, surprised. “Since when is anything to do with you normal?”

“Ha ha,” Erin said, “Seriously, though, you've been more…” She paused. “What's the word?”

“Physical. Affectionate. Aggressive.” He grinned doggedly. “Horny.”

She hit his arm playfully. “Gross. I hate that word.”

Ian laughed. “I know. It's why I said it.”

“That's not it though.”

Ian looked at her thoughtfully, no longer teasing her. “I don't know what it is. I just feel like I want to be near you.”

“You've always been near me.” She said plainly.

“Not like…” He heaved a frustrated sigh. “I just… I don't know. I've always cared about you so much. I've always needed you. And that night when I came home and you were so angry about me seeing Heather, I realized that I really hurt you.”

She shrugged feigning indifference. “I didn't care that you talked to Heather. I mean, yeah, I really don't want you to get caught back up in that but I wasn't hurt that you talked to her. I want you to get over her.”

Ian took another swallow of beer and grabbed a second cigarette. “Not that, Erin.” He paused, lighting his cigarette. “After we had sex, you closed off to me for a while.” Erin stared into the parking lot, not answering. “I didn't realize it at the time because I was way too self-involved over my break up to see how hurt you were. It was a big deal for you and it should have been a bigger deal for me.”

“Look at you talking about your feelings and stuff.” Erin responded sardonically.

“Yeah, well, I should have talked to you a long time ago but I was afraid of what you were going to say.”

Erin gave him a teasing smile, “Coward.”

“The worst.”

“You know, Ian, I'm not upset about that.” He raised a disbelieving eyebrow. “I'm really not.” She repeated. She wasn't upset about how he acted after they had sex. That was the truth. She was upset with him for how he acted before he and Heather broke up but she loathed bringing it up now. Ian was being open and talkative, albeit booze inspired and she appreciated his effort.

Ian opened his mouth to argue but Marcus and Sabrina joined them on the patio. “Hey guys, what are you guys talking about?” Sabrina asked, her words much more slurred than they were before Erin and Ian's departure to the deck.

Ian looked put out but Erin grinned at Sabrina who she had never seen really drunk. “Nothing important.” She eyed the bottle in Marcus' hand. “What are you doing with that there, cowboy?”

Marcus held it up, shot glasses in his other hand, looking pleased with himself. “I thought we could do a shot in celebration of our talent.”

Ian rolled his eyes, taking the bottle of tequila from Marcus. “If that's the case, Erin can take a shot but you are cut off.”

Sabrina laughed loudly, leaning into Marcus. “Ian just said you're not talented.”

Marcus tried to look insulted but having Sabrina leaning so lavishly on his persons was obviously more gratifying than winning an argument with Ian. “Eh, maybe he's right.”

“Oh, shut up, lecher.” Ian said sounding surly but grabbing the bottle anyway and filling four shot glasses.

Erin considered the tequila. “Well, if you insist.”

Marcus held his up for a toast. “To a great show, great friends, and damn good tequila.” They clapped their shot glasses together and Erin threw hers back, not wanting to taste the biting liquor. She could sip tequila and enjoy it but not after a bottle of wine.

Ian starting pouring shots again and Erin shook her head animatedly. “Oh goodness, not another one.” Ian looked to Sabrina and she shook her head looking a little sick.

Ian poured two instead. “It's just you and me, theatre boy.”

Marcus picked up the shot glass raising it to Ian. “I probably should feel insulted but coming from you, well, that takes away the sting.”

Erin barked out laughter waiting for Ian to get riled up but Ian laughed and poured another shot. “Probably true.” He said unconcerned.

Sabrina held up her own shot glass. Erin shook her head at her, “Girl, you sure that's a good idea?”

Sabrina grinned at her, moving from holding Marcus like a life line to wrapping her arms around Erin putting her face close to Erin's. “I'm fine.” She slurred, touching noses.

“Sabrina, what are you doing?” Erin asked, holding the drunk girl up.

Sabrina grinned at her, though Erin could barely tell since her face was so close. “Sorry, I said you weren't very nice earlier.”

Erin laughed, “It's all right. It's not the first time I heard it.” She nodded toward the shot glass. “You going to take your drink?”

Marcus leaned back and shrugged. “Erin, you could just kiss her.”

Erin rolled her eyes, lifting Sabrina's and wrapping them around Marcus' shoulders. “Nope, not kissing any girls.”

Marcus looked disappointed. “Erin, don't be such a stick in the mud.”

Sabrina grinned, resting her head on Marcus' shoulder like it got too heavy for her to hold up. “Yeah, Erin, don't be such a stick in the mud.”

Erin looked to Ian for back up but Ian just grinned at her and crossed his arms. “Marcus. Sabrina. No.”

Sabrina took her shot not waiting for Marcus and Ian. “I'm drunk.” She stated.

Erin hugged her and kissed her forehead. “Oh, drunk girl, you should go to bed.”

Sabrina stared at her and then nodded slowly. “I should go to bed.”

Erin took her back from Marcus, helping to her room. “You can sleep in my room, gorgeous.” Sabrina nodded solemnly, letting Erin lead her. “You feeling all right? You're not going to throw up, are you?” Sabrina shook her head. “Ok, ok, we're here.” Sabrina sat hard on the bed looking up at Erin, not seeming to focus.

She grinned, holding herself in a sitting position. “I really like Marcus.” She stated.

Erin nodded, not really listening. “I can tell.” She said, pulling the blankets back for Sabrina to get settled into. “Do you want to borrow pajamas?”

Sabrina shook her head. “No, that sounds like so much work.” She said despairingly as she laid back in the bed, pulling the comforter up to her chin. “Thanks, Erin.”

Erin smiled at her fondly. She wasn't incredibly close to Sabrina. They were both women in the same group of friends so they talked and occasionally gossiped but Ian was her best friend and when Ian wasn't around that role fell to Marcus. She just didn't know how to be close to women but Sabrina was sweet and since her and Marcus seemed to be having a thing, she would be around for a while. Erin sat next to her for a minute, trying to think of something to say. She heard Sabrina's even breathing and realized she had fallen asleep.

Erin walked back out onto the patio to Ian and Marcus drinking beer in companionable silence. “This seems fun.”

“How's Sabrina?” Marcus asked, scooting over so Erin could join him on the swinging bench.

“Very drunk and very asleep.” Erin said, reclaiming her wine glass. “She is going to feel terrible tomorrow.”

“Where's she sleeping?” Ian asked, not looking concerned about Sabrina's impending hangover.

“I put her in my room. I figured I can sleep in there too or if she's too much of a pain, I'll just move out to the couch.” Erin said. She was feeling more sober. She knew she was still drunk but taking care of someone else always made her feel she needed to be the responsible.

“I'm going to go to bed too.” Marcus said, standing up and stretching.

Erin could hear him rinsing out his beer bottle in the kitchen. “You can sleep in Ian's room or crash one of the couches. We won't be up for very much longer either.” She heard a thank you from inside the apartment and she settled back into her chair. Marcus knew where the extra blankets were and he wasn't as inebriated as Sabrina had been. She looked up to Ian watching her. She padded the seat next to her that Marcus had just vacated. Ian rose and sat next to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. She settled against him, finding comfort in listening to his heartbeat. “You know Sabrina and Marcus started dating, well, went on a date recently.” Ian grunted but didn't respond. “No comments?”

Ian stroked her arm idly with his thumb. “I knew he was going to ask her. I just didn't know when.”

“I think they're cute.”

“Barf.” Ian said without much heat.

Erin laughed. “I think we should go to bed too.”

Ian sighed, kissing her head. “Yes, we should.” He stood and reached out a hand to help Erin to her feet. “What are the chances Marcus chose the couch and is not sleeping in my bed?”

“Not good.” Erin said, following him into the apartment. She lowered her voice although she was pretty sure both Sabrina and Marcus would sleep through anything. “I don't see a Marcus on the couch.”

Ian groaned but went toward his room anyway. “I'll sleep on the couch but I'm getting my damn pillow.” Erin rinsed out the wine bottles that her and Sabrina had emptied. She heard Ian from inside his room. “What the hell?”

Erin put down the bottles and quickly went to Ian's room. “What?”

“He's not in here.” Ian looked at her. “That lecherous…” He started going to Erin's room. He crossed his arms. “He's in here.” Ian said, sounding irked.

Erin looked down at Marcus and Sabrina cuddled together on her bed. “Shush.” She whispered. “They're fine. I'll just sleep on the couch.”

Ian looked like he wanted to pout. “Pervert.”

Erin snickered. “He's being sweet not perverted.”

“Pervert.”

Erin pushed him out of her room. “They are both fully dressed and obviously like each other. I don't think he's crossing any lines.”

Ian didn't look convinced. “Whatever.” He paused at his door. “You can sleep in my room.”

Erin considered him for a moment. Would it be such a bad thing, she wondered. “Hold on.” She ran to her room and grabbed a tank top and shorts and slipped into the bathroom to change and brush her teeth. Ian slipped in after her to brush his own teeth. She slid into Ian's bed contemplating if this was a good decision or not. Ian came back in, his hair loose from its usual pony tail and got into bed with her. He wrapped his arms around her and without saying anything kissed her on the mouth. She pulled back for a moment, studying his face. “Why?”

“Why what?” He asked, looked puzzled.

“Why do you want to do… this?” She asked bluntly.

Ian propped himself up on his elbow, thoughtful. “I'm not sure how to answer that question.

“Then answer it truthfully.”

Ian chuckled low. “And if there's more than one reason?”

“List them.” Erin responded simply.

Ian held one finger up. “Well, the perfectly selfish reason is that I would just like to have sex. The last time was me and you and that's been a long time.”

Erin shook her head. “That is a terrible reason and makes me feel super special.”

“I said there are multiple reasons and you said to be honest so here's honesty.” He admonished. “Two, you are beautiful and pretty damn sexy.”

“Still not a very good reason.”

Ian grinned suggestively. “You like it.”

Erin laughed. “Maybe a little.”

“Third,” Ian paused as if unsure of what to say next. “Third is that I love you.”

Erin looked at him disbelievingly. “You love me as you want to be in a relationship with me?” She had asked herself the same question and didn't know the answer. Now she posed it to Ian.

He looked uncomfortable. “Honestly? I'm not sure what the answer to that is. We've been together for so long and after Heather, I'm not sure if I ever want to date someone again. All that time and love spent on someone who couldn't care less.” He laid back on his pillow. “If you asked me to spend the rest of my life with you, I wouldn't even hesitate,” He sighed. “But I always thought love was supposed to feel like how I felt about Heather. It was… electric. I was always so unsure of myself and that made our relationship exciting.” He paused as if thinking over what he was saying. “I thought that feeling was love and now I look back and realize that I was just manipulated into thinking it was love. I fell for her hard and when she changed, or rather started cheating, I was too lovesick to see it. She made me feel unsure of myself.”

Erin propped herself up on her elbows so she could look down at Ian. “Why?” She asked. He had never talked about his relationship with Heather this way.

He shrugged. “I don't know. Maybe she felt better about herself knowing she could control me.”

They were both silent for a minute, meditating on Ian's words. Erin broke the silence. “So you think you love me but you don't know because you're not sure how that's supposed to feel?”

Ian looked embarrassed. “That would about sum it up.”

Erin leaned down and kissed Ian fully, letting herself get caught up in his deep kiss. It wasn't a love story for the ages and his reasoning probably wasn't going to convince anyone else but Erin knew exactly how he felt. It was that feeling of not knowing if you are good enough for even each other, let alone anyone else. They were comfortable for each other and they were safe for each other. Erin wasn't going to cheat on Ian and Ian could love her. It wasn't perfect but neither were they.

She hooked a leg over Ian, pulling him against her. Last time he had been the instigator and she had turned him down. She knew he wouldn't take the chance of getting shot down again. His chest felt hard under her fingers and she relaxed against his touch. Her tank top was slipped down her shoulder and gasped to feel the cold air on her sensitive skin. Ian kissed down her collar bone and took her nipple into his mouth and she moaned quietly. He rolled over so he was on top of her, cupping her breast in his hand, he kissed her again, trying to make her understand what he couldn't say.

Slipping her shorts down, he kissed down her stomach. “Are you sure you want to do this?” He said each word between a kiss as he moved down her abdomen.

She shivered, pausing to think rationally. She nodded dumbly and then laughed. “Yes,” She sat up pulling his shirt off of him and pushing his sweatpants down with his help. “Hurry up before I change my mind.” She said with a grin as he took her in his arms. He kissed her again, gently at first but with more ferocity as their skin touched. He entered her slowly, she let out a soft whine but quickly it shifted to a moan. Although, she didn't think an atom bomb could wake the others, she kept her voice low as her and Ian found a rhythm. Wrapping her legs tightly around him, he moaned into her shoulder, building up his strokes as he reached his climax. She gasped as he slammed into her, any semblance of quietness was gone but she was enjoying the feel of him too completely to find much concern. He collapsed on top of her, kissing her neck and her cheek. She smiled to herself, suddenly feeling exhausted. “I'm tired, Ian.” She announced as he lifted himself off of her.

He kissed her forehead. “Go to sleep, woman.”

She smiled at him. “Goodnight.”