Other Fan Fiction ❯ A Twilight Fan Fiction. ❯ Jasper, Uncontrolled ( Chapter 2 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Uncontrolled
adj. Not under control, discipline, or governance.

Uncontrolled, Chaotic, Involuntary, Spontaneous, Uncivilized.

Jasper

I don't really like talking about my past before I became a Vampire.

I don't really like talking about my past at all.

After the change I belonged to a… coven. A coven that drank human blood.

I enjoyed being a Vampire. I had the power to control people's emotions. But something was missing.

I was missing something in my life.

My coven wasn't really a family. We just lived together. We tolerated each other.

It was pretty lonely. But I got used to being alone.

I was always alone as a child.

None of the other children would become my friend let alone stand near me.

Even then I was a freak.

In my human life I could always tell when people were uncomfortable, depressed, sad, even when they tried to hide it.

I could feel it rolling off of them like waves.

This is why I was a freak.

My parents… well they got over it pretty soon.

I was their “special” child.

But enough about my human life.

My Vampire life is way more interesting.

When I first woke up as a vampire after the leader of my coven changed me I was somewhat O.K with what I was.

I never had much of a human life and it was like taking a vacation from all the pain.

I quickly adapted to the Vampire way of living.

At first feeding off of humans disturbed me.

I felt like I was killing my own.

But I was no longer human.

And besides, how else was I supposed to eat?

I decided to leave my Coven after a few years.

There was nothing there for me.

And every day I felt this hole in my chest. I was missing something, but what?

I decided to go searching.

For whatever I was missing.

Every day the hole seemed to get larger and larger. I thought I couldn't take it anymore and then I met her.

I was in the forest one day, hoping to find some unsuspecting nature hiker to feast on when I saw her. She stood about 100 meters away from me but I knew that she was what I was looking for.

Her name was Alice. Her short pixie like hair stuck out in different directions. She smiled at me as if we had been old friends.

What I found out startled me.

She had been looking for something too.

She felt the same hole in her that I felt not too long ago. She was also a special Vampire. She could see things, she had visions, but they weren't set in stone.

The future could change.

She saw me in her vision. She saw that we would be together.

We grew closer and closer until finally I knew.

I loved Alice, more than anything in this world.

I would do anything for her.

Then Alice had a vision. There was a coven. They called themselves the Cullen's. But they weren't like my old coven. They called themselves Vegetarians.

They ate animal blood.

But animal blood would never taste as good a human blood.

How could they live that way?

But Alice wanted to live with them

So I would go where Alice went.

When I met the Cullen's, they seemed nice. They were different then my old coven. They actually felt something for each other. They called themselves a family.

There was Rosalie and Edward; I sensed some anger between these two. Between Rosalie and Emmett I felt love. I could feel the love they all shared for their “parents”

They welcomed Alice and I with open arms.

But starting their way of life was hard. Drinking animal blood just soothes the pain of the hunger for a little while. Human blood did the trick for me.

But I would never do that because it wasn't what Alice wanted.

She was my family now

They were my family too.

But everything got harder when we started going to Forks High School. There were humans all around me everyday.

Sometimes I couldn't even go to school because I was too afraid of what I might do to them.

My days consisted of imagining I was sucking one of them dry, then Edward reading my mind, then me feeling bad because I had hurt Alice.

I tried to be good for her, I really did.

My only safe place was our home

Away from all the humans, and their luscious scents.

Then Edward started acting weird.

I felt emotions coming off of him that I had never felt from him before.

Love

He loved that human girl? But why?

I didn't understand. I just knew that the feelings were there. And that she returned them. Soon they were together all of the time.

My safe place was destroyed.

I could smell her in my house

Oh how she smelled good.

Edward warned me not to come near her. I didn't blame him.

I couldn't control myself around her.

But I had to.

She was Alice's friend. I had to stop my self from thinking about her as a tasty meal.

For Alice.

A year had almost gone by and I hadn't attacked anyone.

Alice was so proud of me.

Even I was proud of myself.

Maybe I was getting the hang of this vegetarian thing.

Alice was all excited. It was Bella's birthday and she was going to make her a surprise birthday party. Alice decorated our whole house.

Finally Bella and Edward showed up. Bella smelled so good especially when she blushed. She was so happy that she blushed a lot.

The smell made me dizzy.

Bella began to open her gifts when suddenly her scent intensified twenty times more that it already was.

She had a paper cut

That's when I lost all control.

I jumped at her ready to sink my teeth into her nice warm body when my family stopped me.

The held me down and got Bella away from me.

Edward was furious. Alice looked hurt.

I was a disappointment

I had never felt so bad in my life.

I almost ate Bella

I sat around the house to angry at myself to go to school.

Alice tried to comfort me but I knew I had let her down.

Why couldn't I control myself?

Thanks to me, Edward has left Bella.

These are the thoughts that my family was probably thinking at the time. I was the cause of everyone's unhappiness.

And it was true.

If only I had more self control.

Everyone said it wasn't my fault, I'm new at this. But it was. I should have been more careful. And now Edward wasn't happy. I had noticed in this family that once Edward wasn't happy nobody was.

Edward decided to leave Forks. To protect Bella. I was pretty sure it was from me.

He was extremely unhappy. Everyone was unhappy. They had grown fond of Bella.

Even I missed her.

Then Alice had a vision.

Bella had jumped off of a cliff.

Alice was in a panic. She decided to go see if Bella had survived.

Meanwhile Rosalie called Edward.

Rosalie told Edward the news. I knew Rosalie was jealous of Bella but I didn't think she would do such a heartless thing. It made me angry. This was going to upset Alice.

Edward tried to kill himself using the Volturi.

I didn't think his love for Bella was that strong that he would die for her. I guess I underestimated any relationship that wasn't mine and Alice's.

Alice and Bella stopped Edward.

Everything was back to normal again.

Bella and Edward were back together. My family was happy.

Alice was happy.

I was happy.