Other Fan Fiction ❯ Snake on a Plane - A Survival Story ❯ Snake on a Plane ( One-Shot )

My thanks go out to Kyle. This story was his idea. I just wrote it.

 

Disclaimer: I don't own Snakes on a Plane. Really. I promise.

 

 

Snake on a Plane

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© 2008 Ohne Sie

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I don't know how long I was cooped up in that crate. All I know is that I heard hissing from other snakes, and that I could smell the presence of female snakes, all beyond my reach. It was maddening and it was enough to make a snake very angry. I could tell that the others felt the same way, because their hisses grew louder, angrier, and more frantic as time passed. And suddenly, the crate exploded.

 

A few of the others were injured or even killed in the explosion, but we paid them no mind. We all began our search for the females we knew were around somewhere. Everyone went in different directions, and I immediately saw one of them enter a cat carrier. Why he thought a female snake was in there, I don't know, but the cat was murdered pretty violently in the next few seconds. It was completely unnecessary, but I didn't care. All I was concerned with was following that smell.

 

It may come as a surprise that we didn't attack each other, but there was a good reason for it. None of us were the same species, and few of us had coexisted in the wild, so there was no competition, really. In fact, many of the others were species I had never even heard about, until I was captured and taken to that human's home, where he fed and housed us. It was a decent life, and the food was good, but we were not free, and there was no female companionship anywhere. Now, though…now we could smell them, and we were free.

 

I suppose that's why some of the others went a little crazy and started attacking the humans. First, one attacked two humans who were in the process of mating. I mean, yeah, it's good to eliminate the humans before they can attack us, and it's better to prevent them for adding one more human to the world, but it's not like they'd done anything to provoke him. They didn't even know he was there. It just seems a waste to kill them for no reason. But I guess he was just pissed off, and, to be honest, horny. It makes sense.

 

Then another snake attacked a man who was urinating. That one made a little more sense, because the urine did land on the snake's head. That's enough to piss anyone off…no pun intended. I'm not sure if it was the snake bite that killed him, or the fact that he hit his head against the bathroom mirror, but the man was dead pretty fast.

 

Still, these were isolated attacks, and the humans seemed to have no idea we were there. So I wasn't concerned, and decided that it would be in my best interests to forget the humans for now, and concentrate on finding the females. It was proving to be very difficult, because it seemed that the females were around the humans, whom I wanted to avoid. The others had started to realize that, as well. But before all hell broke loose, someone did something very stupid.

 

He attacked the pilot of the airplane. Now, I had only once been on a plane, but I knew how they worked. In order for the plane to fly, there must be a pilot. Someone who knows how to fly it. Apparently not every human knows how. And if the plane has no pilot? Well…the plane no longer flies. And we all die. All of us, snakes, humans, and that tiny yapping dog. So attacking the pilot was an extremely stupid thing to do. The snake later said that it wasn't his fault. He had claimed that area as his own and the human had intruded on it. Apparently the pilot was looking for the cause of some malfunction or another. Point is, he was dead. And for some reason the humans didn't realize what the cause was. Thankfully there was a copilot, who could take over the pilot's duties.

 

Well, not long after that, all hell broke loose. A bunch of us were lurking in the compartments where the oxygen masks were stored, and somebody attacked the controls for the masks. And we all fell out of the compartment and onto the humans beneath. We didn't know what to do, so we attacked. And the humans knew we were there. They all tried to run, and we, terrified as well, attacked. It's in our nature. So after the surviving humans ran to another section of the plane, I once again focused on my goal: finding the females. I was coming very close to the source of the scent. Then I found it. It wasn't a snake, by any means. It was just some flower thing that had various snake pheromones sprayed on it. Pissed off, I decided to get revenge on the humans, because I knew they had tricked me. But then I reconsidered, when I realized that the humans were fighting back. I decided it was probably a better idea to hide somewhere until the other snakes killed the humans, or the humans killed the snakes or the plane crashed into the ocean. You know, whichever came first. So I slithered my way into a compartment and waited there until the battle was over.

 

At some point the screaming stopped, and I decided that the battle must be over. But as soon as I poked my head out of the compartment I realized that I was wrong. The humans had moved upstairs. I saw that the ground was littered with the bodies of humans and snakes, and the body of the little dog. Then I realized that something was wrong; the plane was going down. Fast. Some snake must have taken out the copilot. I was terrified, because I knew I was going to die, after trying so hard to stay alive. But suddenly the plane came out of its nosedive and started going up again. I rejoiced, thinking that the copilot must be alive after all. I wondered, though, when the plane would land.

 

I made my way into the luggage compartment, figuring that that would be the easiest way to get off the plane unnoticed later. I slid inside a bag and waited for the plane to land. A while later, it happened, although the landing was rough. I wondered why, because if the copilot was alive, wouldn't he know to land the plane better than that? It didn't matter, though. I was going to be free. I waited about an hour, crawling to the bottom of the bag and making myself as inconspicuous as possible, in case someone decided to check the bags for snakes. And they did, but somehow they missed me. I felt the bag I was in being carried away, and a few minutes later, I felt my entire body tingle. I had no idea why, but I realize now that it was radiation from an X-ray machine hitting me. For some reason, the airport security staff was not completely thorough, because they didn't find me. How fortunate for me.

 

I felt like was going to suffocate in that bag. I was running out of air and I wasn't sure if it was safe to come out yet. Finally, I decided that I could either poke my head out and get some air, risking being seen by a human, or I could stay in the bag and die from lack of air. I headed for the top of the bag. There were no humans around, so I breathed freely. I looked around. I was in some sort of vehicle; not a plane, but something else. It stopped. I slid back in the bag. I heard a door open and the bag was lifted. I had to time my escape exactly. I bit a hole in the bottom of the bag and chewed it furiously until the hole was big enough for me to slip through. Then I slithered away as quickly as I could. I don't think I was seen.

 

Fortunately, there was a forest nearby and I was able to get there undetected. I have lived there ever since. You'd think that I would probably be unable to live in a climate that is not my natural home, but I am. Because I'm determined to survive. I am probably the only survivor of that flight.