Other Fan Fiction ❯ Stupid In Love ❯ Regret is a two-edged sword ( Chapter 4 )

I do not own Dragon Age or its characters.

I do not make any money off the stories I've written for it.

Unless you count the fact that I can't sleep or work when a story takes hold, so writing it allows me to get back to being productive. But I don't think that Bioware can sue me for that.

Stupid In Love

Chapter 4

“I'm sorry Guard Captain, but Messere Hawke is… a bit indisposed right now.” The former merchant tried to block Aveline's progress at the door.

“Bodahn, she hasn't left the house in two days. Not since Donnic and I brought her back from that night at the Hanged Man. And she was already on her way to drunk when she got there. Something happened, and I need to know what's wrong.”

At that moment, a slurred voice called over the balcony, “Bodaaahhhn. This bottle got all empty!” And then the bottle dropped to the floor, shattering everywhere.

“Boom!” called Sandal, clapping his hands excitedly.

Sighing, the dwarf said, “I better go get a broom. If you wouldn't mind, could you bring her up a bottle of… something. Anything. I just don't want her trying to come down the stairs again. Last time she tripped and nearly broke her neck.”

“Has she been drunk this whole time?”

“She's been drinking or passed out ever since that white-haired elf left here four days ago.”

“Oh, Maker,” she breathed and brushed past the dwarf, grabbing the bottle to take with her along the way. She might need it as a bribe. Or for herself.

When she got to the top of the stairs, she found Hawke, still in her underwear, holding an amulet shaped like a wolf howling at the moon in her hands, staring at it and stroking it lovingly. “Hawke?”

The champion looked up drunkenly. “Aveline. Oh, and a bottle. Will you drink with me?”

The Captain sat down next to her and pulled her over so that the girl's head was on her shoulder, wrapped an arm around her companionably. “Hawke, will you talk to me?”

“Aveline,” she sighed. “Maybe you can help me decide: I'm trying to decide if I want to remember or forget.”

A deep breath and she closed her eyes. “I want to always remember.” She touched her lips. “But if I forget, everything will be back to how it was and no one will ever ever know and maybe he'll still stay.” She opened her eyes and stared off into space. “I don't want to forget. But I don't know if I can take it when I remember.” And then, she started to cry.

“Oh, Hawke.”

Sniffling, she mumbled, “He thought being with me would give him a moment of happiness. But it only brought him pain. I was so happy, and all I brought him was pain, Aveline.” She continued to cry. “Why do I only end up hurting those I love? My mother blamed me for Carver, for Bethany. And I couldn't even save her from that madman.” She grasped the front of Aveline's tunic. “I was stupid for thinking he could ever love me, wasn't I? I knew he couldn't. I told you that three years ago.”

“Hawke.” She rocked her friend in her arms.

They sat like that for quite a while as Hawke cried herself out. When her tears dried, she pulled out of the Captain's arms and sat up, visibly trying to get herself together. She smiled apologetically at her. “I'm okay, Aveline. I'm fine. I'll be fine by tomorrow. I just… wanted to let myself feel sad for a bit.” She winked conspiratorially. “It's not like I didn't already know I was destined to be alone. No big deal.”

And with those words, she passed out.

Gently, the Captain of the Guard picked her friend up and carried her into her bed, tucking her in securely. Then she went to hide all the alcohol and inform Bodahn that if he let her have even a single ounce of alcohol within the next 24 hours, she'd make sure he was arrested for… something.

Honestly. What on earth had Fenris been thinking? She had half a mind to go beat the tar out of him. But… then he'd know how Hawke felt. And she was sure Hawke wouldn't appreciate that.