Other Fan Fiction ❯ The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything ❯ And You've Been Waiting A While ( Chapter 8 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Authors' Note: Adara just wants to give a ginormous shout-out to Li-chan, who re-wrote twenty pages of dialogue and description in slightly more than a week and made it possible for us to actually get this chapter out before everyone died.

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Li: Li's Special Report is brought to you by “The Minions of the Muffin King.” Save a muffin, eat a pancake. Glares Eat a pancake. Seriously.

Anyways, I am very pleased that my pictures helped. In fact, it inspired me to draw more! So stay tuned for more picture-things (located at the end of this chapter).

Celestia, out!

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Chapter 8

“Benji?”

“It's okay, Miguel. Before I was a captain I was a handyman. I can fix this. But I'll need some tools…Rin! What do we have tool-wise?”

Rin shifted nervously. “Well, we have…this nail…and a half-eaten popsicle stick.”

“I can work with that!”

“You're gonna fix a whole ship with a nail and half a stick?” Miguel asked in disbelief.

“Yes,” Benji replied, holding up the nail and examining it.

“Good luck with that. The rest of you…I'm gonna need some barrels, a few planks of wood, and some paint,” Miguel announced. “And…follow me!”

XXX

The merchant had a good feeling about today. Porting his ship in Tortuga seemed like an ingenious idea. The sun was out, the wind was perfect, and some other third thing had made today a fine day. What could go wrong today? the optimistic merchant captain thought.

“Captain! There are people in the water!” said the lookout. “They're waving signs!”

“What do the signs say?”

“Better…slow…down...underwater explosives…ahead…”

“Turn! Stop! Explosives! Wah! Anchor!”

In the confusion, Miguel, Rin, and Jiro scaled the ship.

Once on the deck of the merchant ship Miguel drew his sword. “Thank you for stopping. See? This is my sword!” he said, gleefully waving a picture of a sword.

The merchant and his crew clapped.

“Thank you, thank you. Now…I'd like some lumber, nails, and a saw, please.”

“Can do. How will you be paying?”

“Oh. Pay? I was under the impression that you were giving all this to me for free…”

“Why would I do that?”

Miguel pouted and waved expansively at Rin and Jiro. “Because we're pirates!” he whined. “Well…obviously.”

“You're not very convincing.”

“I'm sorry…”

“That's okay.”

“I'll try harder this time.” Miguel nodded. “Mr. Merchant, you will give us the equipment we need NOW!...er…please.”

“Better…I guess…”

“Yay!” Miguel cheered as his comrades patted him on the back.

“Very good, Miguel,” Jiro added.

“Boom now?”

“Yeah, okay, Rin,” the redhead agreed.

“LE BOOM! …Erm…as the French Foreign Legion would say…” Rin explained to the otherwise clueless merchant crew.

XXX

When the group returned to their own ship, it was to find that Benji ad nailed one end of the popsicle stick to the side of the boat, and was busy knocking in another nail with one of the pancakes that Rin had made for breakfast that morning.

“Er…Benji?” Miguel asked.

“Eh?”

“Where's your hammer?”

Benji shrugged. “Rin's pancakes work better.”

Rin grinned proudly.

“And…where did you get the other nails?”

The captain cast a glance at the warehouse by the deck. “…Uh…nowhere…c'mon, let's go get some food!” And with that, he took off—straight toward the water.

Jiro cocked his head quizzically to the side. “Are you gonna tell him, or should I?”

Miguel shrugged. “It might sober him up, at least.”

Behind them, the warehouse collapsed to the ground in a massive pile of dust.

XXX

“…I hate this!”

Jiro chuckled. “You're grumpy.”

“I'm grounded.”

“Yes.”

“It's boring.”

“I quite agree.”

Erik made a grumbling noise and dropped his head onto his arms.

Jiro laughed again. “Lemme buy you a drink.”

“Doctors don't drink.”

“Sure they do.”

“Okay, then I just don't want anything.”

“You're being impossible.”

“Oh, no, have I shocked you?” Erik's eyes sparkled with amusement.

“BEEEEER!”

“…Oh, goody,” Erik grumbled.

“Aww, you know you're happy to see us!” Benji said, clapping Erik on the shoulder.

Miguel glomped the doctor from behind. “Pleeeeeeease be happy to see us?”

“Hey, get off of him!” Benji yelled.

Miguel giggled and latched onto his lover. “Yay, jealous Benji!”

Benji sighed grumpily. “I need booze.”

“BEEEER!”

“Thank you for that, Rin.”

“Beer go boom?”

“…Sure.”

XXX

“The hiiills are aliiive with the smeeells of cheeeese whiiiz…” Rin sang.

“Eww….” Miguel said, wrinkling his nose.

“We all live in a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine,” Benji sang.

“NO, we don't. We live on a ship, Benji!” Miguel said, sounding offended.

“WE'RE ON A SHIP?!” Benji yelled back as if he thought no one could hear him if he spoke at a normal volume.

“Nooo…we're in a barrr….”

“Then…WHY'S IT MOVIN'?!”

“EARTHQUAKE!” Rin shouted, diving off her chair and then going back to drinking, content with where she was.

Erik snored. “That was graceful.”

Jiro nodded. “Quite.”

“Hey, barkeep, I need lots of coffee! I need coffee in an IV!”

“What's the coffee for?”

“Me! I need to get sobered up before the Neanderthal sets in.”

“What do you mean?”

“Exhibit A,” Erik replied, pointing to Rin, who was talking to a boy that was trying to flirt with her.

“Like to crush…crush now?” Rin slurred.

“Um…sure…” the random guy answered shyly.

Rin blinked, laughed loudly, then slapped the boy on the back. “You funny!”

The boy suddenly burst into tears.

“Oh, yeah…he's a keeper.”

“Yeah, but Rin's always like that…”

“Exhibit B,” Erik murmured as Miguel came to sit next to Jiro.

“Ya know what?” Miguel asked quietly.

“No, what?” Jiro replied.

“I am drunk off my bum.”

“Ya don't say.”

“But I just did.”

“I know.”

“But then…why you…? You just said…an-an-waaahhh!” Miguel cried.

“Erik! You make Miguel cry!” Benji growled.

“I did not! Jiro did!”

Benji, however, didn't care, because he was already comforting Miguel. “It's okay, sweetie. I won't let that mean meanie confuse you anymore.”

“But…it's so hard! And what if he confuses somebody else? I can't let him do that!”

“Shh…I know.”

“I rest my case…” Erik sighed.

“Shut up, Erik.”

“No! My God, Ben. You're such a freak.”

“Erik's a meeean drunk…”

“Yes, he is. He's just a mean butt face. You don't have to listen to him. `Cause I don't…”

Jiro chuckled. “Don't worry, Erik. I still love you.”

“Thank you.”

“Even if you're a mean butt face…”

“JIRO!”

XXX

Meanwhile, in some random piece of land somewhere in Spain, there was some kind of palace with some guy sitting on the throne. Nobody really knew what he did…he called himself “The King,” but he didn't look like Elvis…

Well, anyways, he was a “king” even though no one knew why, and presently he was yelling at someone.

“It is no concern of mine whether you have…what was it again?”

“Um…food?” the stumpy peasant mumbled feebly. “See, my family is starving and we sold our last cow—”

“Ha! You really should have thought of that before you became peasants! Take him away…”

“But…I…um…okay…” the peasant murmured quietly as he was dragged away.

“Well, that was a little harsh,” mumbled Anastasia Beaverhausen from her desk next to the throne. No one knew what she did, either.

“That was fair. I work and I work all day for these people, and what do I get?! `We need food, we're starving, I have nine kids to feed on only fifteen cents a year…' Bloodsuckers. I do all this for them!”

“What do you do again?” the woman at the desk asked, filing away her nails. “Not that I care.”

“I use the money for my hair and mani-pedi facials. I try to look good for these people and they just don't appreciate it!”

“Uh-huh…honey, my shift ended, like, five minutes ago, so I don't have to care about your problems anymore.”

“Do you care about my problems when you're on the clock?”

“No…”

“So…did anything come for me in the mail?”

“Yeah, but it came, like, two weeks ago.”

“And…you didn't tell me?”

“Should I have?”

“Well, that is what I give you these little checks for.”

“Oh, I know, honey. And I love every single one of them. I put them in this little box on my desk.”

“…Never mind. Gimme that letter,” he grumbled as he plucked the pink envelope out of Anastasia's hands.

A moment of silence passed.

“Forget how to read?”

“No, I did not forget how to read! It's just my beloved cousin Karasu…he…”

“Died?”

“Got run over by a cow…”

“And died?”

“And he's…”

“Left his fortune to you?”

“Been dethroned…”

“So…no money…”

“The ones responsible must be punished!”

“…Not that I care or anything…”

“And I know exactly how I'm going to do it!”

“Good luck with that.”

“You! Soldier person! Get the prisoners from cells II, XVIII, XV, XX, VIII, V, and XVII and bring them to me!” Karasu's good name will be avenged or my name isn't King Fabio the V!”

“Well, if you ask me, neither of them were very good named to begin with. Ha! Even working for a tyrannical cross-dressing Spanish king, I'm funny!”

XXX

Li: AND…SCENE! Take a break, guys! Be back in an hour.

Ava: Wow, Li. An hour. What can I do with a whole hour?

Adara: Yeah, that was generous…did someone die?

Li: Why does it always surprise you people when I'm nice?

Ava: Because you're not…

Li: Oh…yeah…right. Hey! Get back here! Who said you could have a break?!

Karasu: Hey, Li! Look at my hair! Isn't it glorious?!

Li: No.

Karasu: Blonde?

Li: Yes. But still horrible.

Karasu: The only thing better than hairspray…that's meeeeeee!

Li: I don't use hairspray.

Karasu: Huh? But…why not?

Li: Because it's gross…like you…and it's toxic…also like you…and I just don't like it…kinda how I feel about you. Hey, maybe the reason I don't use hairspray is because it reminds me of you. Ya think?

Karasu: Hmm…then how does your hair do that?

Li: Hair wax.

Karasu: hisses

Li: Ooh, a new toy. Holds up hair wax container

Karasu: Eeeee! Flees

Li: smiles I think I have just discovered a way to rid myself of Karasu's presence. Next, world hunger! …Nah, too much work.

Adara: I think you should just stick to directing, hon…

XXX

“…Now we drink, and drink, and drink, and drink, and drink…” bellowed a certain Irish man with fluffy red hair. He had been rowing for a while now, so his lover could catch a few Z's.

“Ya know, Jin, it is rather difficult to sleep with you carrying on like that,” the ice man said, staring at the whirlwind through one half-lidded, slate blue eye.

“Oh, sorry, Touya! I'll be quiet now.”

“No need. I'm awake now, anyway.”

“Oh, no! You need yer sleep an' I'm sorry fer wakin' ya up an' all, but ya canna get off dat easy!”

“So this is…a punishment?” Touya asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“Yer takin' dis so outta context!”

“And you're really cute when you're caught off guard.”

“Ya dinna catch me off guard!”

“Then allow me to do so,” the icy individusl said with a smirk, pulling Jin close…well, closer, because they were already touching and all…and into a spellbinding kiss that left even the redhead speechless. “Erm…Jin…?” Poke. “Oh, no. Did I break you? Oh, my God, Jin, breathe!”

Suddenly, Jin burst into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. “Yer funny when ya worry about me!”

“Yeah…I'm absolutely hysterical…”

“Aww…what's wit' da pouty face? Ya's gotta perk up!”

Silence.

“Do ya want me ta sing da song…?”

“I'm happy, okay?”

“Okay. Hey! Funny thing! I wrote something ta those other guys on that ship. The Herald Angel or something.”

“The Archangel? And when did you have the time to send a letter? Better yet, how did you do it without me knowing?”

“Don't worry…I sent yer love.”

“But why?”

“Ummm…ya ask too many questions. Do ya know dat? Too many! Me head's about ta go BOOOM! Den dere won' be any more o' me! Nuh-uh! Jus' a big hole in da—”

Touya leaned in suddenly and silenced the loon by covering his mouth with his hand. “Can you shut up?” Kiss.

“Oh…o' course. What was I talkin' about? Was it important?”

“No.”

“Okay. I wanna do the kissin' thing again now.”

“Sure. Just as long as you don't go boom.”

“Tha's a horrible thing to say> Why would you say dat?”

Sigh.

XXX

The next morning, there were only two on the Archangel who were unlucky enough to be bestowed with hangovers.

Benji, unfortunate soul number one, was in the galley with a ginormous bag of ice on his head, looking pathetic. And Rin, who could be found under a table in the galley, was in a fetal position covering her head.

“I'm never drinking again…” Benji moaned to the air.

Rin groaned. “Stop yelling at me…”

“I'm going to die…”

“Waaaaaaaahhhhhhhh…”

“Hello, everybody!” Miguel cheered as he came up to them, practically radiating sunshine.

Rin let out a shriek that sounded like a wild animal dying as Benji winced. “Hello, love. Come sit down,” he said, patting his leg.

“Okay!” the redhead clapped and sat down in Benji's lap. “Kiss the Miguel.”

“Yes, ma'am.” The captain smiled, bright eyes twinkling. The kiss started small, but as it went on it became questionable if either would ever come up for air.

“Benji, would you stop eating his face and tell him?” Rin whined.

“Oh, right. Now, Miguel. You remember what happened last time we got really drunk?”

“Not really, no.”

“I told you something rather important that day.”

“Oh! To keep my voice down around the hunger and misfortunate!” Miguel shouted. “Oh. Sorry…I'll keep quiet,” he added in an energetic whisper.

“I'm sorry…I hate being so hard on you…”

“Oh, yeah, you're so mean. But I'm sure you'll make it up to me somehow.”

“…Ew,” Rin muttered, and then she ran out of the room looking a little green.

Benji blinked. “Well, that was kind of fun.”

XXX

Monroe whistled as he placed another nail against the board and started to hammer. The little mouse had borrowed one of Rin's mechanisms to propel himself right next to the ship's massive hole. The Archangel's new shipmate had been making progress from that little swinging contraption of Rin's and was quite proud of himself.

“…You cause me pain…”

Monroe jumped and looked around warily. “Are you talking to me?”

“Well, yeah…who else would I be freaking talking to?”

“Erm…wow…I wonder if Benji knows that his ship can talk…”

“What are you talking about? I am Benji…and you're hammering right next to my cabin…”

Monroe, who was swinging back and forth like a monkey, looked down to see Benji, who, in Monroe's opinion, looked upset, but he couldn't comprehend why. “Oh, hi, Benji. You have a nice room.”

Benji glared.

“Are you mad at me/”

“Yes!”

“But why? I fixed the hole!”

“No, Monroe. You did not fix the hole. You moved the hole. INTO MY CABIN!”

“But…but I needed the boards…”

“And where are you going to get the boards to fix this hole?” Benji asked in a deceptively pleasant voice.

“Uh…I hadn't really thought about that. Maybe I'll take apart some kegs.”

“NO, YOU MOST CERTAINLY WILL NOT! THAT BEER IS ALL THAT KEEPS ME GOING!”

“We could get new beer at the next port and just…not drink `til then…”

“BLASPHEMER! YOU'RE A BLASPHEMER! YOU'RE FIRED! GET OFF MY SHIP!”

“But…I don't want to…”

“Why not?”

“Because I don't want to leave.”

“Why not?”

“Because I like it here.”

“Damn! He has an answer for everything!”

“I'm sorry.”

“As you should be. And why are you fixing the ship again?”

“Because it's…my fault,” Monroe answered, looking completely puppyish.

“…So cute. Drat. Why is it your fault?”

“Because I made the first hole.”

“No, you made the second hole. Those other fools made the first one.”

“But…”

“Don't try to explain it. You'll hurt yourself,” the white-haired captain reasoned.

“I…want to fix it.”

“Lemme get this straight…”

Point. Stare. Laugh. “Seriously, Benji, seriously.”

Laughter subsides.

“But…you want to work?”

“I don't want to have to leave…”

“So...you work?”

“Because if I didn't you'd kick me out…”

“I know you're new at this, but did it ever occur to you that no one else here works? ...Come to that, how is this ship even still floating?”

Monroe blinked. “It's not…?”

“Oh. Yeah.”

“But…Erik works…”

“Huh?”

“And you hate him.”

“I don't hate Erik.”

“Yesterday, you yelled at him and spit on his shoe.”

“That was different. I hated him yesterday. I might even hate him later, but right now I don't. And you don't have to fix my ship, Monroe.”

“But…”

“I won't kick you off.”

“But…”

“Miguel would kill me, and we…well, we like you, kid. Erm…Fitzer…pat…something-or-other.”

“Sweazy.”

“Whatever.”

“I still wanna…” Monroe said, eyes widening owlishly as he raised the hammer.

“Wait—”

“Eh?”

“No—”

SLAM! HAMMER! WHACK!

“Ah! GOD!”

“What? Is this thing your voodoo doll or something?”

In reply Benji groaned and put his head in his hands.

Monroe thought for a moment the gave the board an experimental tap.

“Ow.”

“…Huh. It really is a voodoo doll.” Once again Monroe thought about it, then shrugged. “Cool.”

“No. Not cool. Decidedly not cool.”

Thwack.

“Ow! STOP IT! MONROE!”

Monroe put the hammer down.

“Thanks. So… what now?”

“Uh… do we… hug? Not hug?”

“Is that too gay?”

“Look around you. Nothing is too gay.”

“Right. Miguel might not like it though.”

“So… shorthand?”

“Shorthand,” Benji agreed. “Monroe, glad to have you on the ship.”

“Yay! Thanks!”

Benji held up his hand, and Monroe tapped the palm with two fingers.

“Want me to dispossess your ship now?”

“Sure, why not?”

“All right, then. You may want to leave the room though.”

“…Not gonna ask, not gonna ask, don't wanna know…”

XXX

Jiro groaned as Erik bounced into the room and threw himself onto the former's bed, tapping his boyfriend on the head with a pillow.

“Erik, what the hell is the matter with you?” Jiro complained, not bothering to open his eyes as he shoved his face into his pillow. “Do you ever sleep late! Or how about just on time? Can't you sleep until the sun comes up?”

“The sun is up, silly? It's been up for hours! And besides I have a question to ask you.”

“Mmph.”

Erik, taking this as permission to continue, asked in a lofty voice, “Am I more beautiful today than I was yesterday? Or, am I just as beautiful today as I was yesterday, but I just lacked the self esteem to recognize it?” He emphasized each of the last words with a poke to Jiro's shoulder.

Jiro's reply was to grab Erik's wrist and pull him down onto the bed next to him. Wrapping one arm around his waist, Jiro buried his face against the other man's neck. “Shh. No more talky. It's sleepy time now.”

Erik simply smiled and snuggled closer, enjoying the warmth and comfort of the other's presence. There was a moment of silence, then…

“Damn you. Now I'm awake.”

The doctor laughed and shifted so that he was lying on his back with Jiro's arm still around him. “Sorry.”

“Uh-huh. So why are you in such a good mood this morning?”

“I had a really good dream.”

“Wanna tell me about it?”

“Nope.”

Jiro chuckled and propped himself up on one elbow to look down at Erik. Brushing a lock of hair off the blonde's forehead. He stared down at Erik for a long moment before leaning down for a kiss. “Good morning,” he said after pulling away.

Erik smiled back. “Good morning.”

The chaplain stretched out on the bed once more, this time on his back with Erik's hand resting on his chest.

“…Jiro?”

“Hmm?”

“Where did you grow up?”

“…Why?”

“Just tell me.”

Jiro smiled. “Well…”

XXX

Erik chuckled quietly as Jiro finished one of his stories about the orphanage where he grew up. “God, I bet you were a piece of work.”

Jiro laughed and rolled over onto his side to grab a cigarette.

“God, that's such a disgusting habit.”

“So leave.”

“Not cool, Jiro.”

Jiro laughed and put the cigarette back. “Fine. You can make me breakfast, then.”

“I hate you.”

“No you don't.” Jiro rolled out of bed and pulled Erik up with him. “C'mon, I'm hungry.”

XXX

Luckily, the galley was deserted- the rest of the crew had apparently had their breakfast and scattered already. The two enjoyed a good breakfast and good conversation, beautifully and blissfully devoid of Benji and all things resembling him.

“God, I'm so spoiled,” Jiro said happily as Erik started to clear the table. “Thanks for breakfast.”

“Well, you didn't really give me a choice, did you?” Erik replied with a mock glare, turning to start washing the dishes.

A moment later, a pair of strong arms came around the doctor from behind, and Jiro rested his head on Erik's shoulder. “I can't help it. You look so cute when you're cooking your heart out for lil' ole me.”

Erik blushed a deep red, and the plates in his hands clinked together as said hands trembled slightly. “Stop doing that!”

“Stop what? Telling you how cute you are or making you blush? `Cause I don't think I can stop doing either one.” Jiro dropped a kiss onto Erik neck.

The blush darkened. “Jiro…”

At this very inopportune moment, the door burst open and Benji entered the galley with Monroe in toe. “All right, lovebirds, break it up!”

Jiro sighed and dropped his head on Erik's shoulder. “Have I mentioned how much I hate my life today?”

XXX

Li: CUT!

Ava: Are we done?

Li: No… flatly

Sir Gawain: wanders onto set Hi, guys!

Miguel: Hey, look, it's our fan! Points

Li: flabbergasted I-It's… okay. Don't… look… desperate… must… resist… urge… to-

Ava: I SAW HIM FIRST! charges

Adara: pushes her NO! I DID!

Miguel: shakes Gawain's hand while Li, Ava, and Adara killed each other It's wonderful to finally meet you.

Gawain: Shouldn't it be the other way around?

Miguel: Yes, it should. Duck.

Gawain: Duck? Where? looks around

Gawain is dog-piled by every member of the crew at once.

Gawain: You meant the other kind of duck, didn't you?

Miguel: Yep.

Li: Guys, you're gonna kill the fan! We're not exactly in excess, ya know!

Everyone immediately backs off in a panic

Twenty minutes later

Li: dumps out a fishbowl and puts it over Gawain's head, then studies her handiwork So whaddya think?

Gawain: in space-suit lookin' thing Wow, Li, thanks for the plastic bubble!

Li: No problem. The fish isn't too happy, but hey we can't please everyone.

Jin suddenly appears suddenly and hugs Gawain.

Jin: Hello! Welcome to da set!

Gawain: stops breathing

Touya: Oh, no. Not again.

Li: What, again?

Touya: Jin found the “Fruit Loops”. And, well, you can see what it does to him…

Li: What?

Touya: He's hyper.

Li: How can you tell?

Touya: Jin! Down!

Jin: pouts

Karasu: waltzes in Aren't I perfect?

Li: shields Gawain's eyes Gah! I'm sorry you had to see that…

Gawain: See what? I can't see anything.

Karasu: gasps Perfection is it's own reward, ya know.

Jin: Dat's what me mum used ta say. Dat an' “Stop dat or it's back ta da circus for ya!”

Touya: The circus…?

Jin: Ahh… da circus…

Li: sings Remember when you ran away and I got on my knees and begged you not to
leave because I'd go berserk? Well... You left me anyhow and then the days got worse and worse and now you see I've gone completely out of my mind... And… They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!! They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa. To the funny farm. Where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!

Ava: completely disheveled You're stupid…

Adara: PIMP THE LIMP!

XXX

The Arch Angel had finally been fixed. It was a miracle. No one knew how it happened. No one questioned it. It just was.

By the time the ship was organized (so they could set sail the morning after) and Miguel's anal retentive personality had been laid to rest for the time being, every one of the crew members were about to drop dead from starvation and alcohol deprivation (excluding Monroe on the last bit). Seeing no alternative-and not trying too hard to find one-they headed into the pub. Except for Monroe, who didn't drink, and still thought that they would ditch him the moment he left the ship.

It was relatively large inside the bar, though dimly lit and rather gloomy, and the place was full of yelling, cursing, and drunken laughing. Several chairs had already been tipped and a table had been broken during the second bar fight of the evening. The crew made their way through the crowd, Benji keeping a tight hold on Miguel to keep anyone from grabbing him, and took the only empty seats at the bar.

"What can I get ya?" the bartender asked, grinning widely. He was either the ugliest cheerful man or the cheerfullest ugly man any of them had ever seen.

"Gin," Benji said.

"And?"

"Gin."

"Okay. You?"

"Lemonade. With lots of sugar," Miguel replied, smiling.

"Comin' up. What about you, pretty boy?"

Erik chuckled at the bartender, not really in the mood to take any teasing seriously tonight. "Coffee, and don't hold back on the amount. Serve it in a soup bowl, or just in the pot, just get me a LOT of coffee. And drop a shot of alcohol in it, too."

"Got it," the bartender said, chuckling as he turned to get their drinks.

"Why didn't he call me pretty boy?" Miguel asked, leaning over to whisper to Erik. "I'm usually the target for that kind of thing."

"I'm gonna take a shot in the dark and say it's because of the fact that Benji's practically breaking your ribs to let people know that you're taken and he won't let anyone insult you."

Miguel blushed. "Oh."

It wasn't long before the alcohol kicked into Benji's system, and the captain grabbed his lover and started kissing him passionately, with no regard to the time or place. Sugar usually had the same affect as alcohol on Miguel, so the redhead didn't exactly seem eager to pull away, and after awhile Erik began to feel rather ignored, and very lonely. Sighing, he drained the last of his coffee and motioned for a refill, looking around for someone he knew. Namely Jiro... but he wasn't going to let anyone else know that, of course.

Rin thanked the 'keep for the rum, and took another swig of it. "Keep'em coming, Ernie. I plan on getting very drunk tonight so I'm gonna have to pack a lot away." Looking back out towards the rest of the bar, just people watching when finally she spotted Erik.

Walking over, taking another swig, she leaned up against the bar beside her friend, poking him in the side in the process. "Hey," she said. "Where's your eye candy?" she asked nonchalantly.

Erik chuckled and smacked the girl gently over the head. "He's not my eye candy any more than I'm his boy toy. And I have no idea where he is. Probably smoking... somewhere."

"Uh-huh," Rin replied, obviously disbelieving.

The smile on Erik's face widened, and he nodded towards the mug in Rin's hand. "What are you drinking?"

"Rum."

"Hey, we need a refill on rum down here!" the doctor called to the barkeeper.

"Oh, you don't have to-"

"If I'm ever gonna shut you up, yes I do. So where do you think he is?"

Rin shrugged. "No clue. He followed me off the ship. Haven't seen him since. That's all I know."

"Fat lot of help you are," Erik grumbled, smiling nevertheless. Then he took one last drink of coffee and dumped the remainder of the cup's contents onto Benji's head. "Cool off your hormones, man. You're like a frickin' teenager."

Benji scowled at him and tightened his hold on Miguel's waist. "You're just jealous."

"I am not! I got me a man, remember?"

"That's definitely the alcohol talking," Miguel said, giggling.

"It is?" Erik smelled the inside of his mug. "Oh dear God, it is... What the hell are these people thinking, giving me alcohol?"

"Did you maybe... ask them for it?"

Erik's brow furrowed in a frown. "Yeah... I did... First I'm gay, and now I'm a drunk? Yeesh... hell of a week..."

"You're taking the pirate community by storm here, Erik," Benji teased, clapping his friend on the back. "Hey, Ernie! This guy needs whiskey! A straight shot of it! Strongest you have!"

"Benji, no--don't make me drink that, come on..."

"Uh-uh, no way you're getting out of it now. You've had a drink--"

"Mixed with coffee!"

"-And now you're going all the way. Drink!" Benji punctuated this last word by setting a shot of whiskey in front of the doctor on the counter.

"No... JIRO!!! WHEREVER YOU ARE, HELP ME!!! THEY'RE TRYING TO GET ME DRUNK!!!"

The rest of the group burst into laughter, and Benji ended up downing the whiskey himself. Then he shuddered. "Sweet mama jama, that stuff is strong!"

It was Erik's turn to roar with laughter this time, and he called for a refill, asking for triple caps this time. He shuddered when he drank it, the same way Benji had, and yelled, "WHOO!!! GOOD MORNING, VIETNAM!" He drank the rest, twitching as it all hit his system in one straight shot. "Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and the camel, what do they put in this stuff?"

"About three shots of undiluted alcohol," Benji replied nonchalantly.

Erik immediately yelled for water.

Miguel laughed. "Benny try to take it easy..."

"WHO'S YA DADDY!!?" Benji shouted with no intended point at all.

"What's that supposed to mean anyways?"

"The proof is in the pudding!"

"That's it! I don't want to be involved anywhere in your drunken world. And when you have the biggest hang--over you've ever had up to date tomorrow- Don't come crying to me." Miguel giggled, draining the last of his lemonade.

"Hey, how many margueritas is too many margueritas?" Benji asked, taking a swig of said beverage as the barkeeper sat it down in front of him.

Miguel shook his head. "Benji I know you can hold your alcohol- REALLY WELL- but maybe you have... had enough?"

Benji pouted. "Fine. I want coffee."

Miguel giggled. "You're like a petulant 12-year-old. Ernie, can we have some coffee? No alcohol... Benji needs to wash down whatever it is he drank."

And at that, Benji began to list every alcoholic substance he'd consumed that night. "Six mugs of beer, three margueritas, nine shots of whiskey, two shots of tequila, twelve glasses of wine and a rum ball."

"I am in awe."

"Pass the coffee?"

"I wouldn't dare not to."

Chuckling, Benji filled four mugs with coffee and passed three to the others, keeping the last for himself. "Okay, we need to get all this crap out of our systems now or we're gonna have massive hangovers tomorrow."

"We'll have massive hangovers anyway," Miguel replied. "Well... you will, anyway."

Erik laughed and grabbed his coffee, holding it up and saying, "To friends."

Miguel raised his cup. "To freedom."

"To cannons!" Rin added, also raising her cup.

But Benji topped them all and summed up everything they'd said as he held up his cup and said, "To piracy!"

"I'll drink to that," Erik replied, clinking his cup against the others'.

"Nonsense, Mike. And you know you had too many marguerita's when you can't remember your own name... Ain't that right, Bernard?" Rin said taking another swig of her rum. "And I... am not drunk... see? My name.... is Rawnie. See? Fine and dandy..." she said, eyes glazing over.

"Anyone else want to be the one to tell her that she's totally intoxicated?" Miguel said looking across the row of his friends.

"I was DRUNK last night, dear MOTHER! I was DRUNK the night BEFORE! But if you forgive me, dear MOTHER! I won't be a DRUNK anyMORE!!" Rin said swaying along, until she finally fell off the barstool onto the floor. "Le boom!" she said, pointing upwards.

Benji groaned. "Someone sober her up before she busts all our eardrums."

"Benji!" Miguel admonished.

"What? The girl's completely tone deaf!"

"Hey! Bernard! I heard that!" she said, pulling herself up from the floor. "I control the rum, it does not control me," she said, plopping herself on her stool.

"I won't 'member any of this tomorrow," Benji slurred, downing another cup of intensely strong coffee. He shuddered. "Okay, that one was stronger than the last four. I think I'm sober now." He tried to remember the names of all those surrounding him, and his eyes crossed. "...Nope. Never mind. More coffee!"

With an idle drag on his cigarette, Jiro cast open the door to the bar. Once inside, his eyes wandered the place, settling on the rest of his shipmates once he'd swept his gaze across the bar counter. He proceeded to wade through the drunkards. People didn't like being pushed or moved, even though he'd said "Excuse me" every time, the alcohol overpowered their better senses, which lead to their untimely unconsciousness. Finally, the chaplain flung some idiot who was giving the bartender trouble from his seat, which happened to be directly next to Erik, and sat. Jiro smiled for once, before blushing a slight bit when he noticed exactly how drunk his partner had become.

"Um... Erik? Are you alright...?" Was his query, his hand snubbing his cigarette while the other set itself on the doctor's shoulder to get his attention.

"Aw, Jeeves. He alright. Don' worry 'bout' 'im." Rin said leaning backward in her stool next to Erik to look at Jiro. "Here. Have some rum. 1923... good year, good year..." she said taking a swig from the bottle before offering it again to the chaplain.

"She's drunk," Miguel explained.

Erik laughed. "I'm fine, Jiro. Kinda tipsy, but I think it's from a caffeine overload more than anything else. God, why do people drink this stuff?"

XXX

Everything was going just the way it should be. Jiro had a couple of drinks, but refused to sink into intoxication, Erik was completely sober now due to a massive caffeine intake, and Benji and Miguel were making out like teenagers on the same bar stool, so everything was right on schedule and going well. It was all going well, that is, until a very tough and mean-looking man came over and leaned casually against the bar next to the kissing pair, smirking.

After a moment, they noticed he was there, and broke the kiss. Benji looked up, annoyed. "Is there something we can help you with?"

The smirk grew. "I couldn't help noticing your pretty little girlfriend," the newcomer said.

"He's a guy, and he's not interested," Benji snapped, his arm tightening around Miguel's waist.

"And he can speak for himself," Miguel said in an irritated tone, though his hand tightened around Benji's to show the captain his anger was not directed at him.

Benji chuckled. "So you got this, then?"

Miguel smiled in return and gave Benji a quick kiss. "Yeah, I got it. Go back to your drink."

The captain obeyed, taking a sip of his coffee. Erik, Jiro, and Rin had turned their attention to Miguel, ready to jump in and protect the redhead if need be. Benji pretended not to be listening, but in fact he was concentrating solely on his lover's conversation.

"It's like he said," Miguel said cooly. "I'm taken. Surely if you noticed me, you noticed the man who was joined to me by the mouth at the time."

"So you're taken," the man said calmly, a look creeping into his eyes that Miguel didn't quite like. Then he reached out and grabbed Miguel's hand in a bone-crushing grip. "And you're sure there's nothing we can do about that?"

Miguel fought a grimace of pain and disgust and snatched his hand away with a vicious yank. "I'm sure," he replied, his voice freezing now. "You need to go sober up and move on, because you're not getting any tonight, at least not from me."

The smirk turned into an angry scowl, and the man reached out to grab Miguel again, this time in a hold that was much less innocent that a touch on the hand.

And Benji was suddenly out of his chair like a ball out of a cannon. Glass mugs and bottles crashed to the floor as the captain slammed the newcomer against the bar with a sharp blow to the face. Erik, Jiro, Rin, and Miguel all joined the fight an instant later, and the other guy called up his friends for help.

The next few minutes were a complete blur. Jiro was doing his best to end the fight quickly, Rin had jumped onto one of the men's back and had grabbed his hair in a hold that Andre the Giant couldn't have worked his way out of and was currently screaming "CANNON BALL!!!!" at the top of her lungs, Benji and Miguel were fighting side-by-side in the exact center of the group, and Erik was currently facing off with the group's leader, a.k.a. “The Big Dufus”.

The man went to throw a punch at Erik's face, and the scowl on his face sparked something in the doctor's memory. He couldn't quite place it, but as he dodged the punch, he suddenly remembered, and the shocked look on his face must of stopped his opponent, because the rest of the group stopped upon seeing that their leader's movement had halted. And suddenly, a spark of recognition crept into the man's eyes, and while the smirk stayed on his face, there was less feeling in it now.

The two stared at each other for a long moment, the sickening smirk still on the man's face.

"S-Simon?"

XXX

Yomi glanced up from the book and spent a second studying the absorbed expression on Shura's face. Then, quite suddenly, he snapped the book shut with a decided, “I think that's enough for today.”

“WHAT THE CRAP, YO?!”

----------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------

Li: I bet you think I forgotted the pictures. Well you're horrible for thinking that and I didn't forgetted! But I ish sad that I only hash three pictures for ya's. thinks Okay typing like this is tiring. Soo... pic one!

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Look it's Simon! Who's Simon, you ask? Well I don't want to spoil anything, but Erik seems to know him... Anyways he's Simon. He's a royal pain in the you-know-what. And, yes, he going to be a permanent character. And, no, we're not sorry. WE'LL NEVER BE SORRY!

Picture #2:

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Yay! Erik and Jiro! Erik and Jiro! WHEEE!!!

Pic #3:

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And lastly we have Princess Rin!

Li: Rin in a dress!

Rin: *threateningly* You get one of those in a lifetime, you just cashed in!

Li: *nods* Uh-huh...

The End. Of this chapter. Not of the story, God!

But that is NOT the end! For behold, we have the LOTS MORE PICTURES! I think you've already seen them, Sir Gawain, dear, but the chapter they were in just kind of deleted, so we copied and pasted that note into this chapter. So, here it is, in convenient NOT-italics to separate it from the rest of this note.

*Special Non-Chapterish Thingy!*

Li: (In a brand new, random, and news room set.) This is the Li Celestia special report!

*crew writhes in pain, flailing on the floor and such*

Li: *ignores and trudges on boredly (which is a REAL word no matter what spell check says)* Oh, that's interesting... *forgets to read it to everyone else* Erm in other news... bad things happen in a place where bad things don't usually happen, people are shocked... house slides down hill... liposuction kills, so people MUST STAAAY FAT! Which reminds me that I want a sandwich. *snaps fingers expectantly*

***

Oh my gosh, people (meaning Sir Gawain)! I hadn't the slightest that our characters were so skewed and undescribed. I take most of the responsibility... I suck at descriptions. Well I take responsibility when I'm NOT writing either way. I will actually be writing a big portion next chapter... I can only hope.

ANYWAYS! I'm going to make it up to you, Sir Gawain (yeah, we've given up on ever getting reviews from anyone else, and are now writing exclusively for you. No, seriously, this is us:

Adara: Hmm...what should we write next?

Ava: I dunno...*twirls hair on pencil*

Li: Well, let's think. What would Sir Gawain like?

*they begin to write what they think Sir Gawain wants*)!

Actually the point (which is still probably lacking most of the features that points generally have.) I drew pictures! YAY! I did, really! SHOCK! AHH! OMG! ...what's with the all the "!!!"...?

SO! Here it goes, bear with me I'm not so excellent at drawing. Not that I don't think I'm good I just think I'll stick to my day job (which is cake decorating). Plus I only do pencil, THAT'S IT! No paint, no watercolor, no airbrush. Pencil, color pencil... ALL!

And I will show you why...

Exhibit A: Sorry Miguel... (Me experimenting with pastels...)

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EXPLANATION OF OTHER PICS: Full sized pictures of characters, and a chibi-ish one to go with each one.

Firstly is Benji. Drew this picture and hated it, redrew it and liked it just cuz. It's Benji! What else can I say...?

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Yay Miguel! Okay I started drawing this and I don't know why Miguel looked seriously erm... `slutty'?

Miguel: Nooo!

Li: I'm sorry!!

Miguel: *cries* I'm a WHORE!

Li: Nooooo!

Miguel: I AM!

Benji: *nods* Yeah, but you're MY whore.

Miguel: *sobs and runs away*

Benji: No! Ack! Miguel, I didn't mean it! Miggguuueeel! *runs after him*

Needless to say the picture caused some drama between me and my co-workers... (I'm a weirdo who talks to their pictures as I draw them.) So I fixed it somehow, I dunno I'm magic or something because the picture turned out SO CUTE! So yay me, it's a victory! *makes a V with her fingers*

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Miguel: *blinks* Wazzat?

Li: You...?

Miguel: *turns to Li and pokes her nose* FACE! *flees*

Li: *flabbergasted*

Erik... Oh boy. Erik is difficult... OH WELL, LOVE BIG GLASSES!

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Li: *runs around screaming “MUAHAHAHAHAHAAAA LONG LIVE THE NOODLE SCOOZE!!”*

Jiro: Oooh nurse.

Erik: Watch it!

I love Jiro, love the hair, love the body language, LOVE LOVE LOVE! So here isht “Just Jiro!”

Jiro: *jazz hands*

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OMG Rin! Rin is awesome, she is modeled off of our dearest friend Sam. God knows I love this girl. And well this picture is pretty Samalicious, uh-HUH!

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Monroe Fitzerpatswezy. Blonde hair, blue eyes, just slap an apple pie on the boy and he's the all American pirate. Except, what's with the name...? It's awesome, right?

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Here is the Berkeley-thing... Which is not SO thing-ish. BUT who cares? I love the cuddlemuffins out of him!

Berkeley: *shudders* ...really?

Li: TELL NO ONE!

Berkeley: Gladly.

Li: *glomps*

Berkeley: Oh my FREAKING God! Girl parts! EWW! GET IT OFF!!!

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Geez, that was almost normal... MOVING ON!

TAA-DAA! Now I present some really really old (from the first story old) and some not so old (I drew em' this year) pictures. Enjoy!

Description: My very first picture of Benji and Miguel's Reunion. It's everyone's favorite.

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Description: It's itty bitty lil' Benni and Miguel. What's with Miguel and the butterflies?

Miguel: *imitation of Bambi* Butterfwy...

Audience: Awwweee...

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Description: Hey, something I drew this year. Erm... I must've been angry that day cuz the coloring is baaaadddd... BUT more adorable Miguel and Benji!

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Description: Yay! A tribute to Erik and Jiro's first kiss. And it turned out awesome! Erm, well I think so...

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Lastly for my own personal kicks I give you Li, Ava, and Adara. No one asked for them, but here they are! I win! HA... HAHA!

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Annnnd.... there it is... my works of art. Celestia OUT!

Li: *quickly bows and flees in terror*

AN: Expect more pictures as the story progresses, unless I really do suck and no one wants them. Then I'll just wave them around and do a ceremonious dance. Ooga Booga!

P.S. Adara wants you to know that she was the one who did all of the spelled-out links to the pictures, and given her incredible capacity for stupidity and mistakes, there's a good chance she did something wrong. If that's the case, she says you should e-mail us and let her know so she can correct the mistake.

Thanks for sticking with us!