Other Fan Fiction ❯ The story of a Whitemage: Ramora's Memories ❯ I can't, I can't kill ( Chapter 2 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

The Story of a Whitemage: Ramora's memories.

Disclaimer- I don't own FFXI, but I do own Ramora!

Summary- Born and raised, here in San'Doria, By my human mother, Tatiana, and my Galkan father, Whisperingkiwi. Yes, I know. Odd name, but what galka has a normal name? Anyways, This is a story. A story about a Whitemage named Ramora, and her struggles to become just like her human mother. Who is this Elvaan, You ask? I'll tell you, Me. My name's Ramora, and here's my story.

"Kill it."

I flinched and tears filled my eyes. "I. . . I can't!" I cried.

My Instructor grew angry, his hand gripping the hilt of his sword tightly, "Kill it!" I looked away, "No!" He growled in the best ability a hume could and drew his sword. "If you do not kill it. . .," He pointed his sword at me threateningly, " I will." My bangs covered my eyes as my sword shook in my sweaty palm. I couldn't do it, couldn't he see that? I couldn't kill anything! No, I wouldn't kill something as innocent as a harmless forest hare!

I stared down into it's doe eyes. It's nose twitched cutely as it flinched away from me. It stood huddled against the wall, soft sounds of fright escaping it's mouth. I stared down at the sword in my hand before throwing it away. "No, I can't do it! You can't make me kill an innocent creature!"

My Instructor laughed cruelly, "Just what I thought." he said, "Pathetic Elf." He drew his sword and in one fatal swoop, the forest hare lay dead at my feet. Blood pooled slowly around my feet, a crimson stain soaking into my soft leather boots. Tears fell from my eyes, mingling with the blood under my gaze. His disgusting laugh drew my attention away, "You killed it!" I screamed at him, my hands clenching at my sides.

"Of course I killed it, you vile creature!" He laughed again, a cruel tilt on the corners of his lips. He picked up my forgotten sword and threw it at me before turning around. He didn't care if it hit me in the face. "You're despicable." I whispered. "What did you say?" I looked up, "You're the despicable one, you murderer!" He tilted his head. I almost cringed, he looked so much like Slice when he did that. "It was merely an animal." That was his excuse? It was merely an animal?! He walked away and anger rushed through my veins. I picked up my sword and stood. My gaze landed on the dead animal. I gripped the hilt of my weapon. Blank, sightless eyes stared up at me. Accusing me of something I had not done.

With a anguished cry I began slashing at all the trees, bushes and grass I could find. Slash. Grass fell away. Slash. Flowers crumpled at my feet. Chink! I slammed my blade into the tree. Chink! Again. Chink! Chink! Chink! Again, again, and again! I panted harshly as sweat ran down my face, "Is this it?" I asked myself. "We kill with no remorse? No emotion towards the innocent blood we shed?" I slumped slightly.

"I will not." I stood up and with a furious cry, drove my sword into the ground. I leaned into it. The blade was hot to the touch but I didn't care. I didn't care about anything, really. Only that the Warriors of San'Doria were killing innocent people every day! What of their families? What of their friends? I shook my head. No one cares, I thought. No one. "I will not kill!" I vowed to myself.

I looked to the furred body at my feet and dipped my fingers in it's blood as I plucked it from ther ground. "I'm sorry," I said in a hushed voice.
"I'll put you to rest." I clutched the chilled corpse to my armoured chest, "You will get the burial you deserve."

- - -

I walked around San'Doria. The rain did little to clean the blood from me; and for that I received strange glances. "Ramie!" A voice called. I knew who it was, but I didn't turn around. He couldn't see me like this, covered in the blood of my sin. I shouldn't have let him kill it, It was all my fault. "Ramie, wait up!" It was Slice. He ran in front of me and I had the urge to scold him. Didn't he know he could slip and hurt himself? He gripped my shoulder's and gave me a once over. Twice. "What happened, Ramie?" His long brown hair looked black with all the water collecting in it, and I couldn't help but think he looked handsome. "It's my fault." He looked confused, "what's your fault? What happened?" He shook me. Tears brimmed my lashes and I threw myself at him. He caught me, though I was much taller than him.

"It's going to be all right," He soothed, rubbing circles in the small of my back. No, I thought darkly, It's not. I clung to him, letting him whisper soothing words in my ear that meant nothing to me. I was too far gone to care about what he said at the moment. I buried my nose in his drenched cloak and let my tears fall. He didn't notice, the rain had already soaked through it's tough but worn material.

- - -

Warm. Safe. I smiled and cuddled into my pillow. My brows furrowed as I was met with a silken pillow instead of my own woolen one. I sat up. The room was well lit and decorated lavishly. White silken sheets and pillows draped over the bed, and I fought the urge to sink back down and go to sleep. A kupo fluttered next to me with a worried expression. "Hello?" I whispered. "Master was worried about you, Kupo!" It chirped and I couldn't help but smile. It was so cute! Cute. . . A memory flashed in my mind.

It's nose twitched cutely as it flinched away from me. It stood huddled against the wall, soft sounds of fright escaping it's mouth.

I gripped my head as another washed over me.

Blood pooled slowly around my feet, a crimson stain soaking into my soft leather boots.

I groaned weakly, wishing someone would hold me and make it go away.

Blank, sightless eyes. . . Accusing. . .

"NO!" I shouted, standing and tripping over the sheets tangled around my legs. The moogle watched with concerned eyes as I fell and then fluttered out of the room. I sobbed harshly from my spot on the floor. It was all my fault!

- - -

"Master!"

Slice looked up from examining his worn armor, "What is it?" He asked. "The girl woke up, Master! Kupo!" He grinned. "Good!" The moogle then looked frightened. Slice stopped his descent towards the hallway to his room. "What happened?" The moogled fluttered it's wings nervously, "She didn't look so good, Master. Kupo!" Slice frowned. "Let's go."

- - -

I looked up as someone entered the room. ". . .Slice." I whispered. He dropped to his knees infront of me. "It's okay now, Ramie. Just tell me what happened." He looked so sincere and he had comforted me yesterday in the rain. So, I told him. Everything.

- - -

He looked disturbed. "Your Instructor did that?" I nodded, quite disturbed myself. "You handled the situtuation well, Ramie." He consoled. I nodded mutely, I didn't think so. He sighed and grabbed a cup from a tray I hadn't noticed before, "Drink this." He ordered softly.

"What is it?" I asked, staring down into the murky liquid. It held no scent and that's what worried me. "Something that will make you feel better," He grinned michieviously. I grew suspicios but daringly took a sip. . . and nearly threw it in his face! "Ugh!" I gagged. It tasted disgusting!
He laughed. I shot him a sharp glare but he merely smiled. I sighed and grimaced as I took another sip. "Seriously, what's in this?" It tastes gross, I added mentally. He grinned and said, "It's my own special blend of medicinal herbs! Makes a good tea, doesn't it?" I muttered to myself, "Yeah, great." Yuck.

He took my hand as I finished the vile tasting beverage. "You have to realize that animals die, Ramie." I almost shouted. "It didn't die! He murdered it in cold blood! He did it right in front of me just to prove a point, It didn't die!"

He sighed, "I think we should get you home, Ramie."

I sniffled but nodded.

- - -

As I walked into my mog house, I felt better. Tatiana and Whisperingkiwi thought it would be a good idea for me to have my own mog house if I were to be an Adventurer. I smiled at my moogle. He looked shocked. Was I mean to my moogle? I couldn't recall. It was then I resolved I would be nicer. "Hey, didn't you want to go on Vacation?" I asked. My moogle nodded nervously. "Okay." I said. My moogle jumped up and did a little spin before hugging me gleefully. "Master, Thankyou! Kupopopo~!" I smiled softly and nodded my head. "You're very welcome."

I saddened when I thought of the forest hare. I had never seen death before, at least from what I can recall. I have no memories from my past, only breif ones of my mother and father. I don't have any siblings. I know that much. If I had, wouldn't they have found me by now?

Amarioko: I thought I'd add a little bit of angst in there. Well, I thought it was sad anyways. I might add my other characters in here. I'm not sure though, I might just have them all with their own story instead. R & R! Hehe! And. . .anyone who knows me send me a /tell in the game! Ramora is my character, you know.