Ouran High School Host Club Fan Fiction ❯ Rubbing The Lamp ❯ Ch 10 The Twins' Second Wish ( Chapter 16 )

Disclaimer: Ouran Host Club belongs to Bisco Hatori. I make no profit off this story. If Bisco Hatori-san wishes, I will remove this from the web upon her personal request.

 

This chapter was written as a response to the week 48 Makin' Lemonaide challenge theme: “Have one character play a practical joke on another. It could have good results for a couple… or bad results. You decide.”

 

 

 

 

Chapter 10

 

 

“… You're joking.” Her voice was deadpan to those who didn't know her, but incredulous to those who did.

 

Dissonant stereo provided “Yes,” in one ear and “No,” in the other. The twins shared a look and then responded again, the sound reversing itself in her ears.

 

She grimaced at them as they smiled.

 

“Actually, a little of both,” Kaoru began.

 

“Depending on how you look at it,” Hikaru finished.

 

“We're serious about our wish,” the younger and calmer twin clarified.

 

Shaking her head, “But your own mother…” Haruhi protested.

 

“You have no idea what that woman is capable of,” Hikaru stated emphatically.

 

“It's been a long-standing challenge.” Once again, Kaoru found himself being the one to calmly explain. “Since she could never tell us apart, and we were always tricking her, she decided one day to turn the tables on us with a practical joke. Naturally, we couldn't let that challenge alone.”

 

“She deserved us turning it up a notch. Imagine not even being able to tell apart your own sons,” Hikaru added.

 

As Haruhi's shock visibly grew on her face, Kaoru explained further, “Actually, I think the game has brought us closer all the time. It really is a game to us now.”

 

“Where do you think we got our playful nature from anyway?” Hikaru inquired.

 

Considering, Haruhi lost a little bit of her pallor. “So… she's a yasha and you two are just ko-akki?” (AN: Yasha = female demon. Ko=little, akki=demon/devil/evil)

 

The two grinned at each other and kept silent. While they would have loved to argue the “ko” part of the statement, it was better to just run with it - so that she'd be more likely to go along.

 

Sighing, she looked over at the dress hanging from the costume rack. `Why is it that everyone always wants to tell me what to wear?' she mused plaintively. `At least time it's appropriate, since I'll really be playing a role.' And then, she sighed again as she snagged the dress off the rack and made her way into the dressing room.

 

Involved in her own thoughts, she didn't see the twins break into their most evil grins and give each other a high five. Nor did she hear them quietly exclaim their victory with a soft, “Yesss!”

 

***

 

Walking between the two imps, her fingers found themselves trailing back and forth along the soft velvet cuffs on the sleeves of her costume.

 

It really was a lovely dress. And more importantly, it was actually comfortable. Usually when someone had her dress up to look more “feminine” it meant that she had to force herself through great discomfort just to achieve a desired look that she cared nothing about. But this dress… she wouldn't mind wearing this again.

 

The material was very soft, smooth against her skin - a stretch woven silk that moved with a breath comprised the bulk of the garment. The skirt was billowy and went down to just below her knees with a jagged edge that added to the look of fullness. It was adorned with what were modified bell sleeves, they hung loosely around her wrists but not too loosely: they wouldn't get in her way, regardless of whatever task she might take on. The bodice had a fitted, square neckline and was made of the same velvet that trimmed the cuffs of her sleeves. The whole piece was in a warm, dusky aqua color that reminded her of the ocean on a sunny day.

 

If this was typical of the fashions their mother designed, she could understand the success of her company. They'd also provided accessories for her: a pair of comfortable 8-hole black Doc Martens and a matching leather messenger bag took the outfit from looking like high fashion to functional fashion. And comfortable. No heels like her father always tried to get her to wear - not even the short heels that she'd worn while out with Tamaki and Kyoya. For that, she couldn't help but smile.

 

Her hair they'd left loose, with just a couple barrettes holding it back from her face. And even better, no one was forcing her into makeup. They'd said, “We didn't think you'd want to wear it,” and, “We wanted you to be able to wear something of mom's collection - but if you're going to be our girlfriend, you should be able to just be you!”

 

She did feel like herself in this dress. It was comfortable and yet… she felt pretty without feeling like she was trying to.

 

She felt good.

 

Except…

 

“So what exactly is this event we're going to. If I'm going to *pretend*,” she stressed the word more to ensure that she wasn't thinking anything differently herself, “to be your girlfriend for a practical joke on your mom, you need to let me know what I'm in for.”

 

Truth be told, the whole idea made her a little nervous. The whole idea of being their girlfriend - even as a joke - was too reminiscent of her dreams since this whole Aladdin project began. What exactly did girlfriends do?

 

The boys shared a look at her emphasis. This wish really could change everything. They just needed to play it right.

 

“It's a trunk show,” Kaoru started.

 

“Basically, it's a private showing to a select list of guests,” Hikaru explained. They finally reached where the limo was waiting for them and the chauffeur opened the door to allow their entry.

 

Kaoru continued as he bowed, allowing Haruhi to enter first, “Everyone drinks a lot and then the guests place orders.”

 

“Most of them variations on the designs mom is showing. Which pisses her off.” They'd finished entering the vehicle and the boys took position on either side of her as they alternated speaking. Each took possession of one of her hands, holding it gently, their thumbs rubbing small soft circles.

 

“Each piece she shows has been custom designed for the model wearing it and she'd rather design for all her clients that way, too. It's all about making the wearer and the outfit match each other fully.”

 

“But most people don't have enough imagination or trust the first time they're at a show, so they just order what they see and like,” Hikaru finished.

 

“Mom has to do a lot of research on people to invite so that she can ensure that the designs she shows fit the personalities of the people she's showing.” Kaoru looked up and down at the outfit Haruhi was wearing, smiled and nodded. It was one of the things he respected most about her, what he wanted to learn and emulate, as they watched her in the shop: his mom was a genius at matching people's true characters to their outfits.

 

She noticed his look and briefly wondered what it could mean. She couldn't have chosen this outfit for her. Could she?

 

Hikaru began using his free hand to trace patterns up her silk encased arm, causing shivers that she struggled to repress. Reminding herself to focus, she breathed deep and inquired, “So what do you two do there?”

 

Again with the shared, uninterpretable look.

 

This time Hikaru led the conversation. “We're there as a showpiece.”

 

“Since it's such an exclusive event, it's good form to have us there. Shows family support, et cetera.”

 

The waif-like girl paused and considered. Her brow scrunched hard in thought, she said, “I don't get it. What's the joke? Why do you need me there?”

 

“Mom always used to say that we were so inseparable that we'd probably never get married until we could find a girl that we could share,” Kaoru said.

 

“She also used to joke about a group marriage being the only thing that could possibly work for us because we're like two halves of a whole and what girl would want half a man,” Hikaru muttered.

 

“Actually, she still says that,” the younger twin corrected.

 

“So we're `proving her right' to see how she'd like it if it were actually true,” Hikaru explained matter-of-factly. “She'll see the other side of the joke now.”

 

“It's really her own fault,” Kaoru continued. “She told us to bring a girl. She never clarified that we were EACH supposed to bring one.”

 

“See, as `eligible bachelors,' escorting a lovely young lady is a way of showing off. And, if the girl we bring is our girlfriend, no one will try to pair us up.” Hikaru leaned in closer to her as he spoke, then Kaoru did the same.

 

“Bringing a girlfriend shows that we're responsible and worthy.” She could feel his breath in her hair.

 

“Steadfast and trusty.” His hands had pushed up her sleeves so that his fingers were on her skin now.

 

“And desirable.” The last words were a soft breath in her ear.

 

Everything they were doing to her was soft and gentle, but somehow she still felt like a rabbit cornered by foxes. For some reason she couldn't catch a deep breath, just short pants that would by their very nature only exacerbate the situation - both by making her breathing less effective and therefore providing less oxygen to her brain and by causing her chest to rise and fall rapidly thereby potentially drawing attention to her female form.

 

She had to do something to get herself under control.

 

Beware the cornered animal. It strikes out because it sees no other option. “So by dating a poor androgynous commoner, you're proving that you're not attractive? Isn't that going a little far, damaging your mother's reputation just for a joke?”

 

They both recoiled as if slapped, gaping and without words for response.

 

Kaoru recovered first, speaking slowly, “That's not… It's an insult on the guests, not mom. No one else there is even worthy of our attention.”

 

Hikaru picked up, “You'll be the only girl there who could *ever* capture our interest.”

 

A tiny little “O” shape formed of her mouth and then she snapped her jaws shut, struggling not to blush. She knew she must be misinterpreting his comment, but it still made her heart race. Surreptitiously, she took a deep breath and stared at her hands to calm herself so that they wouldn't see her out of sorts.

 

Luckily for her, they hadn't actually meant to let that much slip. The older twin was giving an apologetic look in answer to the younger twin's astonished accusatory one and they both looked out opposite windows while they pulled themselves back together. They had to play things out carefully. Like a startled deer, if she knew that they'd set their sights on her, she might bolt.

 

Before any of them could address the situation further, the car came to a stop at their destination.

 

***

 

As soon as they vacated the vehicle, Haruhi found herself possessed of a Hitachiin on either arm. The twins escorted her thus into the estate gardens where the trunk show was to occur, Hikaru leading as always.

 

She had to admit, the view was lovely. A little stream wound through the grounds, fed by a beautiful waterfall that cascaded down several rock steps at what appeared to be a cliff-face on one side of the property. Stepping stones formed the pathway they followed, leading to a beautifully constructed wooden bridge. As they paused there for a moment, she saw beautifully colored fish darting along. The stream eventually fed into a little pond. A pair of ducks floated there lazily, completing the perfect, natural look. To her critical eye, it looked just like a scene from nature - not recreated at all. A small smile graced her face and the twins' grins widened as well.

 

The path led them to the deck of a traditional house with shoji doors. Paper lanterns were hung to mimic the color of the flowers blooming throughout the garden. A young man in a slate grey tuxedo and bowtie tended a portable bar while several young ladies, in slate grey maid uniforms with long sleeves and skirts that fell just below their knees, carried trays of expensive delicacies for the guests to snack upon. The grey of their uniforms allowed them to fade into the background so that the focus of the evening would remain on the models - who had yet to appear - and the guests.

 

She noticed the guests clustered in small groups, chatting amiably. As Kaoru had suggested, each guest held an oversized martini glass in their hand, the drinks a rainbow of assorted colors.

 

Squeezing her hand and then releasing her, Hikaru announced, “I'll get us some drinks.” The girl between them was too busy taking in the environment to notice that the devils' grins grew more devious when she nodded absently.

 

As the older twin left their side, an elegantly dressed woman with a predatory smile descended upon them. “Hikaru!” she declared, “How wonnnderful to see you again! And with a date?” The woman placed her hand on his upper arm familiarly and stood a bit closer than one might necessarily deem appropriate, balancing a martini in her other hand.

 

“Aunt Keshi, this is Haruhi, my girlfriend. Haruhi, meet Auntie Keshi,” Kaoru's voice was bland as he spoke. (AN: Keshi=poppy)

 

The woman reacted by drawing even closer to him and running her fingers up his arm. “Oh, I'm not old enough to be called Auntie, now ammm I?” (AN: In Japanese, Auntie is a word that not only connotates a parent's sister, but also can be used to refer to an old woman.)

 

Kaoru explained for Haruhi's benefit, “She's not really my aunt. But she did attend high school with mother.”

 

Completely ignoring both his comment and the girl on his arm, she took a large sip of her drink and then leaned in to whisper something in his ear. Unfortunately, or fortunately for her, depending on your point of view, her whisper carried to Haruhi's ears. “You've grown up so much. I can't wait to get you alone to find out how big *I* can make you grow.”

 

Kaoru's lack of reaction surprised Haruhi only a bit. He was, after all, the one with a better temper. He merely ignored the comment completely.

 

The woman continued, “Hikaru, you simply MUST sit by me during the show. You can help me choose what to order. And then later *I* can model it for you.”

 

Something inside Haruhi snapped. Internally, she rationalized it as playing her part as girlfriend, but she couldn't deny that she was fuming.

 

“Why should he sit with someone who can't even tell him apart from his brother?” Her words were calm in tone, sounding like someone merely asking what time of day it was, but it was clear that she was not happy.

 

Kaoru smiled and leaned in to kiss her on the cheek, then turned to his “Aunt,” to reply, “Why indeed?”

 

At that moment, Hikaru returned, with three different colored drinks. “I got an appletini, a strawberry martini, and a peach martini. Which would you like, Haruhi?”

 

“Thank you, *Hikaru*,” she stressed his name and turned from glaring at “Aunt” Keshi to smile at him. “Do you and Kaoru have a preference?”

 

They both shrugged indifferently and she reached for the strawberry beverage. The boys each smiled at her. They knew how much she liked strawberries. Kaoru then took the apple martini, knowing that Hikaru preferred peaches.

 

“Auntie Keshi,” Hikaru stated coldly, then took Haruhi's arm. “C'mon, Haruhi. Let's go find mom. Then we'll bring find a good place to watch the show.”

 

The hand on his arm held him fast, interfering with Kaoru as he made to follow them. “So, Kaoru,” her voice insinuated itself into his ear, “if she's Hikaru's girlfriend, that means you don't have a date, right?”

 

He snatched his arm away from her and replied with a snarl, “She's *our* girlfriend. Auntie.” Then he quickly pursued the couple, leaving the irritating lecherous woman by herself to flounder in envy and wonder what that meant.

 

X

 

Turning the corner, he saw Hikaru leaning against the wall, pouting.

 

In front of Hikaru, Haruhi was motionless, her expression somewhat dazed by the flurry of motion his mother was making, touching and adjusting Haruhi's outfit.

 

“Oh, my dear, your hair is just adorable. Who would have thought that such a cut could look so cute - and those barrettes are perfectly suited, I'm glad to see that my boys have at least learned SOMEthing, although not quite as much as I would have hoped,” she bent down and began pulling the laces from the boots, “honestly, leaving the original laces in these - no creativity there!”

 

She looked up at her oldest son, “Hikaru! Run and grab the spool of pink and aqua plaid ribbon from the dressing area. Chop chop.” She focused back on the task at hand as her oldest son set his drink down on a table and stomped off.

 

Kaoru watched, bemused, as his mother continued, “The dress design is quite lovely, dear - very flattering to your form.” She finished pulling out the last of the laces and stood to face the girl. Her hands brushed down the sleeves, “Silk and velvet - both materials that encourage touch. Smooth, soft. Quite nice. But I would have used a dark plum color for you, I think. Not that this color is bad. It just doesn't bring out the natural rosiness of your cheeks as much as plum would.” Then she was clasping the girl's face, “Smooth, clear skin. You don't wear makeup. That's good. Your skin will stay more youthful that way. And you have good coloration - no blotchiness, pure ivory skin tone. I will admit the aqua does emphasize that somewhat, which is good. Good bone structure, too. If you were a bit taller and a bit bustier,” she reached into the bustline of the dress and adjusted Haruhi's busoms, “you'd be a natural model.”

 

His mother feeling up the woman he loved was too much. Kaoru burst forth and yelled, “Mother! What are you doing?!”

 

She spun to her younger son and embraced him, “Kaoru! You're here, too! And where is your date?”

 

Pushing her off, he made his way to the girl who was still frozen in shock. “My DATE is the girl you just accosted!”

 

“I wasn't accosting her - I was adjusting her. Honestly! Why do you think all my models look so good? It's the personal attention I give to every aspect of their appearance - not that this girl needs much help.”

 

Gently, he touched her face and broke her from her trance. He lifted her hand holding her drink up to her mouth and said, “Here, drink this. Drink it all down. She's not as difficult to take when you've got a little alcohol in your system.”

 

Rolling her eyes, the mother said, “There's no need to be so dramatic. …Wait. YOUR date? I thought she came here with Hikaru.”

 

“She did.” Hikaru came back into the room and tossed a spool of ribbon at his mother while crossing to drape an arm around Haruhi's shoulders. Kaoru had wrapped an arm around her waist.

 

“Mom, meet our girlfriend, Fujioka Haruhi.” Each boy pressed himself flush up against her on either side to kiss her cheek. She blushed prettily at the attention, then shivered as they each stroked a hand up and down her arm. Kaoru relieved her of her mostly empty glass and set it on a table so that he could hold her hand the way Hikaru was holding her other one. All three watched to see what the reaction would be.

 

There was a pregnant pause while Hitachiin-sama absorbed the new information. Then she looked at the trio skeptically before addressing Haruhi directly, “So you're dating *both* of my sons?”

 

Haruhi made no verbal reply, merely nodded.

 

“And how did you meet them?”

 

“She met us at our club, mom.” Stereo.

 

“So you're one of those daffy girls who likes to be fawned all over?”

 

“No.” Haruhi's first spoken word was quite definitive.

 

“She's not a client, mom,” from Kaoru.

 

“She's more…” Hikaru began.

 

“I broke a bloody vase, looking for a place to study and now I have to work off my debt to the club.”

 

The mother looked her up and down, scanning for deception before she burst into a sunny grin. “So YOU're the one! Oh, my poor dear,” she rushed forward and embraced Haruhi, effectively pulling her from her sons' grasp, “no mother to confide in and having to dress like a boy all the time.” Releasing her, she began once again to fuss over her outfit, lifting up her feet and lacing the ribbon up the shoes. “But I can tell, that doesn't really bother you, does it? Oh, such a shame. So beautiful and yet you have no real awareness of your own beauty. Actually, it's probably for the best. People who are beautiful and know it are always such a bore.

 

She gave her two boys a look at that comment and then continued, “So you really agreed to date both of these monsters? I would think just one of them would be more than most women could handle. Ah, but I can tell you're stronger than most women - strong here,” she tapped Haruhi above her heart.

 

“So now, you MUST tell me, how far have you all gotten?”

 

There was a silent pause while the three teens stared at the woman agape. Then the twins both exclaimed, “MOM!” as Haruhi flushed pink.

 

“Oh, come now. Certainly you must know that every girl fantasizes about having two men in love with her at the same time! Some only want to be fought over, but others are willing to admit the idea of having two men at once leaves them breathless. So tell me, Haruhi, which one kisses better - or are they identical in that regard, too?”

 

Haruhi was now a brilliant shade of scarlet and the boys attempted to defend her by yelling, “MO-OM! Cut it out!”

 

Trying desperately to not look at anyone in the room, Haruhi responded quietly, “I… couldn't say.”

 

Hitachiin-sama stood now that the boots were laced and clasping Haruhi's hand began walking her back toward the dressing area. “Oh? Are you afraid you might hurt one of their feelings? Or…” she stopped and turned back to the boys, “have these dumb lugs failed to take an opportunity to kiss you yet?”

 

Now no one was looking at anyone. A trilling laugh filled the room. “Oh, no, no, no, no, no. This simply will not stand! How is she to know she truly wants to date you both if she hasn't kissed you yet?”

 

Three flustered teens expressed their embarrassment in three different ways. Haruhi got a far away look in her eye as she escaped to a corner of her mind to engage in a debate over whether this was another insane dream or, if not, which of the twins she would want to kiss first. (She imagined that Kaoru would be a bit more thorough and slow while Hikaru would be fast and passionate.) Kaoru shook his head and closed his eyes in disbelief. Hikaru turned sullen and just a touch pouty - it wasn't his fault that they hadn't kissed her yet: they needed to go slowly and not scare her off!

 

“Well, just as one cannot FORCE romance, a first kiss in front of others - it doesn't really count, now does it?” Mama Hitachiin waved her hand airily. “But, Haruhi-darling, you must tell me all about it afterwards! As your future mother-in-law, I want to be there for you. I know I can never replace your own mother, but perhaps we can become good friends.”

 

She began dragging Haruhi toward the dressing area again, but the boys stopped her.

 

“Mother, where are you taking Haruhi?”

 

“What do you mean as her future mother-in-law?”

 

An irate look flashed upon the designer's face. “What do you mean, `what do you mean?' If the two of you are dating her, I can only assume that you intend to be honorable. If not, you're not too old for me to take you over my knee. And, assuming she doesn't miraculously come to her senses and realize what a sorry lot you two are, someday you will inevitably enter into the state of matrimony. Or some other reasonable facsimile. Which will make me the mother in law.”

 

She continued pulling Haruhi away toward the dressing room, stating, “Oh, darling, you will be a dear and lend one or the other of them to me occasionally for modeling, won't you? And, if you're not too busy, I could use you today. You don't mind, do you? One of my models failed to show and you're just her size.”

 

“Mom! You can't make Haruhi do anything of the sort!” Hikaru exclaimed.

 

“She doesn't like this sort of thing!” Kaoru's voice was quiet but forceful and their mother stopped to look at them before answering.

 

“Well, if she doesn't want to model, she doesn't have to model. But are you two sure you're not just trying to steal her away somewhere so you can try kissing her?” Pause for effect, observe flustered incoherent exclamations, then continue, “I promise I'll return her to you unharmed in time to watch the show. But you have to admit, she's absolutely adorable, and I would like the chance for some girl talk with her.”

 

Understanding from her tone that no argument would be acceptable, they grudgingly mumbled their acquiescence and Mama-Hitachiin smiled kindly at them.

 

“By the way, good work on this outfit. I'm impressed that you were able to so accurately calculate her measurements. It quite fits her personality, too. If no one minds, I would like to announce your skill during the show - you don't mind, do you Haruhi-darling? The spotlight would be on you momentarily, but people will really only be seeing the dress, not you - everyone here today has very little vision or imagination.”

 

Haruhi nodded absently, lost in her own thoughts and the older woman hugged her in thanks.

 

“Now, boys, if you don't mind…” With that, she walked Haruhi into the dressing room and closed the door behind her, effectively locking the boys out.

 

Once the distractions (a.k.a. the twins) were gone, Hitachiin-sama sat Haruhi and herself down on a bench and let out a deep breath.

 

“Sorry about all that, dear. Now I do need to ask you a few questions, but don't feel like you have to answer them.” She smiled a tight smile, her eyes crinkling kindly as she began, “You're not really dating them, are you?”

 

Haruhi gasped and started, her eyes wide. “Of… Of course… Why would you ask that?”

 

The lovely lilting laugh began again and she chuckled as she continued, “You don't have to answer, dear. I know. It's the type of joke I expect from them. But don't worry, I won't spill the beans if you don't. And I'll act surprised when they finally drop the punchline. If they ever do. But something tells me they'll want to keep this joke up as long as possible. Which is why I must ask you, dear…”

 

The matron paused and considered her words carefully before continuing, “…how DO you feel about my sons? Again, you don't have to answer if you don't want to. You might not even know the answer. But. I can see how they feel about you.”

 

Haruhi gave her a questioning look. “How they feel about ME?”

 

Patting the girl's cheek lightly, she said, “You are delightful. Truly. And the fact that you would agree to help my boys out with their joke on their mother shows that you are a good friend - the first one they've had without ulterior motives.”

 

Haruhi interrupted, blurting out, “But I do have an ulterior motive. I owe for the vase. And I have to grant everyone in the club three wishes so that my debt can be erased.” It was odd, the face that this woman wore around her boys was reminiscent of the type of energy seen in a typhoon. But here, alone with Haruhi, it was calm and collected. Purposeful. Still powerful, but inspiring trust instead of just dazzling her with chaotic forces. And since the woman was confiding in her, she felt compelled to return the favor.

 

But after she spoke, the woman pulled back and raised an eyebrow. “Three favors? To each club member?” Haruhi nodded and she queried, “But aren't they all boys?”

 

Haruhi nodded again and she said, “Teenage boys and they expect you to just follow through on three wishes?”

 

“Well, I can refuse at any time and then just pay off the rest of the debt.”

 

Hitachiin-sama smiled disbelievingly and shook her head. “What will you do if they ask you to do something… sexual? Would you agree to any of their demands?”

 

She blushed, images of her dreams flooding through her memory. Then, her face grew tight as she stated, “None of them see me like that. I'm more like their kid brother that they all get to push around.”

 

The older woman laughed lightly and said, “You ARE adorable. You have no idea what boys are like. And you truly have no idea how cute you are. So which wish are you on with my boys?”

 

“The second.”

 

“And no one has tried anything with you yet?”

 

Thoughts flitted across her mind, reflected on her face: Mori kissing her hand. Kyoya dipping her. The twins during Twister. Huni's firm muscles during the massage. Tamaki eating cotton candy and then blowing the wasp from her hair. Her tone seemed slightly disappointed as she said, “No.”

 

With a smirk, Mama-Hitachiin asked, “So which one do you wish had?”

 

“Wh- what?” Haruhi, flustered, began waving her hands frantically. “It's… I… I don't…”

 

“You don't have to answer now, dear. But you should think about it. Not that you have to make up your mind right away. But when one - or two - of them do make their move on you, it might be nicer for you if you know whether you find them attractive, too.”

 

She stood up and then held out her hand to Haruhi. “Come, I'll introduce you to my models. I've got an interesting lot here today.”

 

As they walked among the fray of models dressing, she tossed one last aside to the girl, “If you do decide you like my boys enough to date them - either or both - I'll be fully behind it. You're sweet. But if it's both, I do want to hear all about the first time you have sex with the two of them together!” She began introducing the models as Haruhi blinked, dazed and in shock.

 

X

 

“What did she do to you?”

 

“Are you alright?”

 

“She didn't say anything to upset you, did she?”

 

Haruhi stalled them by holding up her hands. There was no way in hell she would repeat the conversation they'd had, so she settled for the following explanation: “She introduced me to the models and she told me that she thought I was sweet.”

 

The twins looked her up and down to convince themselves that she was being truthful - that she had not been accosted further by their insane mother. In stereo, “Good.”

 

She blinked a few times, and then smiled at them as they led her out into the fray.

 

“Come on. Let's go take our seats for the show.”

 

“We arranged for a tempura tray at our table.”

 

“And we got you another drink.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Secondary Disclaimer: All characters in this story are at least 18 years of age. While that might seem unlikely - as three of the characters are only sophomores in high school, I figure it this way: if Bisco Hatori-san can ignore the students graduating for two years in a row and keep everyone in the same grade, I can then apply that logic to their ages. Therefore, Haruhi, Kaoru and Hikaru are just 18. Kyoya and Tamaki are about to turn 19. Mori is about to turn 20, and Huni already is 20. (Therefore, according to Japanese figuring, Huni is the only adult. :P )