Peace Maker Kurogane Fan Fiction ❯ I Will Play My Game Beneath The Spin Light ❯ My Dirty Little Secret ( Chapter 3 )

I Will Play My Game Beneath the Spin Light

Chapter 3 My Dirty Little Secret



“So do you know what’s wrong with him?” Voices filtered through the training hall, and in an attempt to drown them out Tetsu buried his head further under his pillow.

“No, but something happened with him when he went out with Yamazaki I can guarantee that much.” His plan wasn’t working too well. That didn’t mean he was going to quit though, the last thing he wanted to do right now was deal with Shinpachi and Sano’s teasing…He could only assume Heisuke was out there as well.

“Yeah no kidding…I mean did you see his face?” So all three of them were there huh. His face?…He had thought he had done a good job in hiding it, but apparently it had been rather obvious.

His hand went up to trace the sore marks across his cheek that Suzu’s fingernails had left. The skin was raw and irritated from doing this so much, and yet he couldn’t get himself to stop. His mind kept trying to tell him that what had just happened wasn’t real, but then he would have to trace the angry lines on his face to bring himself back to reality.

“Maybe we should check on him.” No, please no…Don’t let them come in here. Don’t let them see him like this. Tetsu burrowed further underneath the blankets, trying with all his might to make himself invisible. The last thing he wanted was for them to find him like this…It was too much. He wanted to erase the meeting he had had with Suzu three days ago, but more than that he wanted to see the white haired boy again…How depressing was that?

“Sano don’t be an idiot. You know how he gets when he’s like this. The last thing he probably wants is us bothering him.” He could have kissed Shinpachi right then, really he could have. He had never felt so much gratitude to his fellow redhead in his entire life than he did now.

Through the crack in the door Tetsu could see all of their morose faces. He could tell that they were all worried, but for the life of him he couldn’t bring himself to leave his closet. The most pathetic part about all of this was that after Ikedeya Inn he had promised himself that he wasn’t going to do this anymore, and yet here he was, hauled up in his closet yet again. Susumu hadn’t come to knock him to his senses this time. No, he was afraid that his friend was still pissed at him for when he flipped out on him earlier. He didn’t blame him though, Susumu was only trying to help him and he acted like a jerk.

Todo’s hand went up to his chin, his forehead creased with worry. “Maybe I could get Yamanami. Going to Shimabara to see Saya had always seemed to help him out before.” He knew that he should really be appreciating their concern, but it was just making him more depressed in the long run. As a matter of a fact doing chores would be better than having to listen to their concern. After all he didn’t deserve their concern…Not after what he had done to Suzu.

In the back of his mind he knew what had happened hadn’t been his fault, but if Suzu blamed him, then he couldn’t help but blame himself. In Suzu’s head he was the enemy, and that was enough to make anyone’s mind twist a little.

Slowly uncurling his body, Tetsu put both feet on the ground and pushed himself to a standing position. A position that was unusually hard to do from his three days of no physical activity, or food and water. He had to get out of bed though, he couldn’t stand listening to those three talk about him with such concern anymore.

Sliding the door open, he tried to hastily walk past them. Try is the key word in that sentence though, because as soon as they caught sight of him a barrage of questions were immediately fired his way. “Puppy boy you’re awake!” He supposed his mood should have lightened after seeing Shinpachi’s ecstatic face, but he still couldn’t bring himself out of his stupor. “So what happened to your face?…You get into another fight with Saizo?” He had said it jokingly, but you could tell what he was really trying to do was get information about what had really happened to him.

Normally in such a situation he might have gotten riled up over the whole matter, but today he couldn’t even bring himself to look offended. Instead he just sluggishly walked past the three jokesters. As he reached the door to the outside he muttered a quick. “I have chores to do.” Before walking out into the fresh air.

The sunlight actually made him wince as his eyes once more got used to the light. He did feel bad about completely dismissing them like that, but he wasn’t completely lying, he did have chores to do. As a matter of fact he was surprised Hijikata hadn’t already made him get up and do them.

He had made sure to grab his clothes, and now was headed over to the well to wash up. He felt really greasy and disgusting from not moving so long, and his stomach was growling like no other demanding that he feed it. Well if nothing else at least his appetite had come back.

Cold refreshing water splashed on his face as he rubbed his body down with a rag. It was amazing how getting clean could really make you feel a thousand times better. The dirt and grime that had gathered on his body washed into the ground with the rest of the now soiled water. It was like with it his bad mood was starting to leave, although he still didn’t by any means feel like himself. In truth he hadn’t felt like himself ever since he had came to the Shinsengumi…No, it was before that. He hadn’t felt like himself since the day his parents were murdered, but now that was all in the past. He would never forget what happened, but he had done all he could to justify their deaths.

He was brought out of his stupor by something running rather hard into his shin. Tetsu gasped and made a grab for the hurt appendage, swearing rather loudly as he did so. Looking down he wasn’t in the least bit surprised to see that it happened to be a feisty little pig who had assaulted him.

“Aw Saizo what did you do that for? I was just on my way to feed you ya stupid pig!” Now you would have thought he would have learned that insulting the thing was never the best idea, but he had a lot on his mind.

Saizo’s nostrils flared as he tried to growl like a dog. Shit!…The thing was going to attack him again. Before he got bitten Tetsu turned tail and ran, seeing that Saizo was following in full pursuit. You know what he could hardly wait till that thing gained some weight and they could eat him…That would really be the best meal he ever ate. What did the thing have against him anyways? Hadn’t he always been nice to him, given him plenty of food, water, and treats? Yet he seemed to have a vendetta against him for no good reason.

Too busy in the midst of his Saizo hating, Tetsu didn’t even realize what part of the camp he was running to until it was too late to be avoided. It didn’t occur to him how much trouble he might get into by doing it, all he knew is that he had to get away from that crazy pig. He saw a door, and as such he flung open the door without a second thought.

As soon as he did though he knew that he was probably going to have to slash his stomach because of it. That before mentioned room he had ran into happened to be Hijikata’s room, and Hijikata happened to be in his room, but that wasn’t all. Souji also happened to be in that room, and he happened to be sitting on Hijikata’s lap. He was so dead!

Taking a lesson from Tatsu, he immediately put his head to the floor, and started spouting off a long list of apologies. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please forgive my rudeness. I should never have come into your room without getting your permission first.”

When he heard Souji’s childish laugh he dared a glance upwards. Hijikata was, to no surprise, glaring full heartily at him, and Souji had moved to the other corner of the room, hastily doing up his Yukata…He didn’t even look embarrassed.

“Ichimura what do you think you’re doing just bursting into your vice commander’s room?” As Hijikata was saying that a blur of pink whizzed by him and jumped into Souji’s lap.

Even though the pig had just gotten him into a heap of trouble, he looked perfectly content to just sit there getting stroked by his master. “Oh Mr. Hijikata leave him alone. Saizo was probably picking on him again.”

Seeing as how Souji was trying to get him out of trouble, he tried not to be too offended by the fact that he had just said a pig picked on him…Even though in all actuality the thing really did. It hated him for some reason that was beyond his line of thinking.

“Yes well getting picked on by a pig” He made sure to say the pig part with extra scorn, just to get further under Tetsu’s skin. “Does not excuse his recent behavior as of late, Souji. I haven’t even seen the brat for the last three days.” He turned back to look at him. “Your brother didn’t think I would notice that he had taken over all your responsibilities, but obviously he doesn’t know how bad of tea you make. I could only assume something was going on when it actually tasted decent for a change.”

Forgetting what kind of a dangerous position he was in, the redhead let his temper flare. “Yeah well if you hate my tea so goddamn much then maybe you should make it for yourself!”

Hijikata raised a bored eyebrow, not at all intimidated by the boisterous redhead. He looked like he was about to say something, probably yell at him, but he suddenly stopped. “Ichimura what happened to your face?”

A hand immediately flew up to his face in habit, as he stroked the marks once again that Suzu had given him. Did they really look so bad that everyone had to point them out? Hijikata was staring at him strangely, and even Mr. Okita seemed to be looking at him with some concern. He needed a way out of these questions, so quickly he said the only thing that came to mind. “Saizo did it.” It was what Shinpachi had said wasn’t it? And his marks couldn’t look too god awful bad that it was completely unbelievable a pig had made them.

His master didn’t look like he believed him in the least though. Without taking his eyes off of him he once again addressed Okita. “Souji go get some clean bandages and any kind of alcohol you can find. I think the wound’s infected.”

Without a word Souji got up from his seat, going off to do what the commander had asked, leaving Tetsunosuke and Hijikata alone together. No sooner was the door slid shut then the questions he knew would come were asked. “Who did it to you?”

Tetsu kept his eyes on the floor. “I told you sir Saizo did it.” He wouldn’t even have believed those words, let alone someone who tortured people all the time to get answers out of them.

“Those aren’t pig marks Ichimura. They’re human fingernail scratchings. So who gave them to you?” Damn. How the hell was he supposed to get out of this?

Well he could always try lying again. “Umm I did sir. I had an itch in my sleep and accidentally scratched myself a little too hard.” Hijikata said nothing right away, instead pulling out his pipe and lighting it.

After he had taken a drag, his black eyes once more focused on him. “I don’t think I need to remind you Ichimura that lying to the vice commander is punishable by seppuku.” Tetsu swallowed…He hadn’t really thought about that. “Is this person who you’re trying to protect really worth dying for?”

Hijikata probably hadn’t intended for Tetsu to take the statement as seriously as he had, or hell knowing that bastard maybe he did, but that still didn’t change the fact that upon hearing it it felt like someone had stabbed him in the gut. Was Suzu worth dying for?…Without even having to think about it he already knew the answer.

“I told you sir I accidentally scratched myself in my sleep…I think I was having a nightmare.” Hijikata’s face hardened in anger, and his mouth opened up, probably to yell at him, but he never got his chance, because just as he did the door slid back open. Okita had brought the fresh bandages and sake, and Tetsu had really never been more glad to see anyone in his life.

Souji could obviously tell the tension in the room, because he kept glancing worridiely between the two feuding parties. “I brought the bandages Mr. Hijikata. Do you think we should get his wound cleaned now?”

You had to hand it to Souji, he could really relieve the pressure in the room by simply just being there. With a scoff his master turned to the side, continuing to smoke his pipe in silence. Apparently he was going to let Okita handle the treatment process.

Truthfully Tetsu didn’t really see the point behind any of it. The thing didn’t even hurt anymore…Well it did still kind of hurt, and it itched like crazy sometimes, but he didn’t think they should be making such a big deal about it. Though who was he to argue? At least he wasn’t getting yelled at.

Okita wetted a rag with some of the sake he had brought, and carefully laid the sodden cloth on his face. Tetsu couldn’t help but wince from the contact. The alcohol seeped into his wound, burning all of his already irritated and inflamed skin even more. Souji continued to clean it though, as if he hadn’t even noticed his pain.

When the rag dug into one of the scrapings, and Tetsu saw that the cut had once again started to bleed, he couldn’t take it anymore. He batted the hand that was trying to care for him away, going once more to cradle his wounds. “Do you have to use the sake? Can’t you just put a bandage on it or something?”

The captain gave him a sympathetic smile, before ripping his hand away from where it was covering his cheek, and going once more to clean it. “I’m afraid I can’t do that Tetsu. Your wound is infected, and if we don’t clean it out it will fester.”

Just the thought made him wince. Did his face really look that bad? He supposed that Suzu’s wickedly long fingernails had dug in pretty deep, and it probably didn’t help that he kept picking at it, but they were making it sound like his face was going to rot off or something.

After Okita was finished with the cleaning, he placed some gauze over his cheek and taped it. Well at least that made sure that people didn’t look at his face and shudder anymore. You know even if his face was mangled, that still wasn’t a very good feeling. “So how did you hurt yourself Tetsu?”

Tetsu opened his mouth to give him the exact explanation he had just given his master, but a still angered Hijikata beat him to the punch. “Apparently the brat has such bad nightmares that sometimes he just can’t help but scratch the hell out of his own face. Isn’t that right Ichimura?”

The redhead glared. Even if it was the truth, he still didn’t need to make it sound like that. He knew what Hijikata was trying to do though. He was trying to make him give something away, but it wouldn’t work.

Sticking his chest out in confidence, Tetsunosuke gave his master a smirk. “That’s right…You see I have terrible night terrors.” He thought that while he was on this little spill he might as well try to make the bastard feel bad so he added. “You can even ask Tatsu…Ever since my parents died I’ve been a terrible sleeper.”

It was a pure battle of hateful glares between the two, and Tetsu was pretty proud of himself that he was able to hold it with the best of them. The staring contest broke though when a friendly hand was laid on his thigh. His gaze snapped over to Okita whose face was suddenly quite stern and serious. “Yes, well if one of these accidents happens again you’ll be sure to let either me or Mr. Hijikata know, won’t you Tetsu?”

There was hidden meaning behind those words, and all the redhead could do was stiffly nod. Jeez…It was like they thought he was being beat or something. Everyone was really making way too big of a deal over a little catfight. “May I go now sir?”

After he saw Hijikata nod, he swiftly walked towards the door. He really just wanted to get out of that room as quickly as possible, and he almost made it to…almost. “Oh and Ichimura?” Tetsu paused in the now open doorway, turning his head around to look at his master. “About what you saw today between me and Souji…” Tetsu’s face reddened. He knew he wasn’t going to get out of there without that being brought up.

“Don’t worry sir, I won’t say anything.” Of course he wouldn’t say anything. He wasn’t stupid enough to let something like that slip, and even if he was he still wouldn’t let it slip. Stuff like that was nobody’s business if they didn’t want it to be. Tetsu quietly shut the door…What next?

He rounded the corner, running smack dab into yet another person. Could this day get any worse? The shear momentum from which he ran into that chest sent him flying backwards so that he landed sprawled out on the dirt floor. Without even looking to see who it was he had ran into, he already went into his tirade. “Listen bastard you should watch where you’re going! You shouldn’t just think it’s okay to run into people whenever you get the whim.” Now seeing as he was just the vice-commander’s page, meaning he was pretty much the bottom of the food chain, whoever he was bitching at most likely had some sort of authority over him, but he was in such a bad mood by that point that he really could care less.

That is until that someone started talking. “Well I am sorry Tetsu. I’ll make sure to watch where I’m going from now on.” It just had to be the nice one didn’t it? Of course he probably should be glad that it was the nice one. If he had said what he had to the demon of the two then he would have probably already been decapitated.

Tetsu put a hand on the back of his head, rubbing his spikes rather abashedly. “I’m sorry Mr. Yamanami. I didn’t mean to go off on you like that…It’s just I’ve been having a pretty crappy last couple of days.”

A hand was extended to help him up, and he gratefully excepted. He always liked the fact that at least one person in the entire place wasn’t a big asshole…Well Okita wasn’t an asshole, so that was two people. “So I’ve heard. That’s actually what I came here to talk to you about.” Tetsu dusted himself off, still doing well to listen to everything Yamanami was saying. “I was going to Shimabara today, and Todo mentioned that you might enjoy going as well.”

So Heisuke actually had asked Yamanami to take him Shimabara. Though it’s not like he wasn’t relieved that he did. Getting away from headquarters for a little bit might do him some good, and he had some stuff that he really wanted to talk to Saya about. It seemed like forever since he had last seen his friend. Smiling, Tetsu hastily nodded. “I would really like that.”

“Well then go grab your kimono and we can go.” Tetsu nodded again before rushing to get his nice kimono that he always wore when he went. He was positive that this would do him some good. Shimabara always made him much happier, and it would give him a chance to just relax. It was like Tatsu was always telling him…every cloud had a silver lining, and it seemed he had just found his.

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A half hour into the trip he was really starting to take back everything he had previously said about the day going good. The whole way there he had to deal with Heisuke trying to get information out of him about his bad mood, and what had happened to his face, and the whole trip he had spent ignoring said questions. He had expected Yamanami to defend him, but the man just kept smiling when Tetsu’s hair got bristled. He didn’t look it, but he seemed to be just as interested in those answers as Todo. He had thought it would have gotten better when they actually reached the place, but no, Hana spent 20 minutes it seemed poking and prodding him. She kept asking him why he had a bandage on his face, and apparently when he told her it was just an accident it wasn’t nearly enough for her. It was only after Akesato had asked him if he wanted private room with Saya that he was able to escape the abuse.

So that’s where he sat now, staring numbly at the floor as his friend poured the both of them tea. Steam rose from his glass, as the thick sent of ginger filled the air. “Saya do you believe in unconditional love?”

The girl’s hand seemed to freeze on the tea pot, and she looked up at him with confused eyes. He didn’t blame her though, he would have been pretty weirded out if she had started a conversation like that…As a matter of fact he would have been weirded out if she would have started any conversation at all.

“You know like how a parent will always love their child no matter what they do or what they become…But I’m not really talking about a parent.” Saya sat back one of the pillows that had been brought in for them to sit on. It seemed she was thinking on the subject for awhile before she finally grabbed onto his hand, writing down her answer in his palm.

A ‘yes’ was traced on his hand, and also a ‘why?’. “Because I know this person, and they’ve done and said some pretty horrible things…and yet I can’t stop myself from thinking about that person.” Why was he playing the pronoun game? This was Saya, his best friend, if he couldn’t tell her the truth who could he tell? “I can’t stop caring about him, and I don’t think that I want to!”

Saya’s hair fell in front of her face, as she took his palm once more. The word ‘who?’ was scribbled down, but then his palm was dropped to the floor. He was really starting to regret saying anything at all, especially since it seemed she was already this upset.

“Oh…It’s Suzu. I found him a couple of days ago…Remember how I told you how worried about him I was?” Strangely enough she seemed to get much happier when he told her who it was.

She hastily nodded and grabbed his hand with much more enthusiasm than she had last time. ‘I’m glad you found your friend. Is he alright?’ She was writing so fast that he barely understood. It really was strange how fast her attitude had changed when he told her it was Suzu that he was talking about. But still it felt kind of nice at the same time, to be able to talk about Suzu without getting freaked out on that is.

“See that’s the thing Saya, he’s not really alright. Losing his master really messed with his head, and what he had to go through afterwards really didn’t help matters much…but still…He’s still the same Suzu that he was before, right?” She seemed to be thinking a lot on this question too, for it took her quite awhile to respond.

When she finally did though she wrote down. ‘Do you think he has changed?’ Which if you think about it didn’t really help him in the least, yet he still thought the question over.

“Well not really…I mean he talks a lot different, but he still looks the same…and he still smells the same, and I know that deep down he’s still gotta be a bastard at heart…I just know it.” That description made Saya break out in a fit of giggles, and through laughs she shakily starting to once more write in his hand.

He thought that what she wrote were the words ‘If there’s still good in him, then he can still be saved right?’ He couldn’t be sure though because her hand was shaking so much from her laughter, but regardless the statement had still helped immensely.

The first legitimate smile that he had had in a long time covered his features, and he pulled his friend in for a hug. “Thanks Saya, that really helped me a lot.”

Never pulling away from the hug, she took his hand once again. ‘You should never let go of those closest to you.’ Tetsu once again smiled against Saya’s neck. He was really glad that he had decided to come to Shimabara now. After all the place had put a stop to all the questions he had needed answered.

It was like then, while he was still in his hug with Saya, that the door decided to slide open. “Ew puppy boy’s gettin some action.” A catcall could be heard, and blushing, Tetsu quickly pulled away from Saya.

“Shut up Heisuke! This isn’t what it looks like.” He pushed himself to his feet, angrily stomping over to where Todo was standing.

“I don’t know puppy, it looks to me like you were getting a little frisky with the young attending girl here.” Tetsu glared, and he could have sworn something akin to a snarl came out his throat.

“Not everyone’s as pervy as you you lecher!” Heisuke put his arms out in mock defense.

“Down boy…If I knew you were having such a good time I would have persuaded Yamanami to stay longer, but as it is we’re heading out right now. Apparently Akesato has some appointment scheduled that she just can’t miss.”

Tetsu nodded to the samurai, turning back to Saya. “I guess I gotta go. Sorry that I couldn’t stay longer, but I really appreciate you talking to me. It helped a lot.” With a smile, Saya waved good-bye to him, and with a wave of his own he left the room.

He was walking out back to get his shoes, when Heisuke grabbed him by the shoulders to stop him. “You know puppy boy if you want I can tell Yamanami that you wanted to stay with Saya a little longer. Seeing as how depressed you’ve been of late I’m
sure he wouldn’t mind.”

It was a tempting offer, really it was, but Tetsu shook his head no regardless. “No thanks, Tatsu’s probably having a heart attack as it. I don’t want to upset him anymore than I already have. Let me just go grab my shoes from out back and I’ll meet you and Mr. Yamanami out front.”

Heisuke shrugged. “Suit yourself, it’s your loss.” He began to walk towards the entrance, leaving Tetsu free to go fetch those before mentioned shoes. He pushed open the door to the back entrance, just taking a moment to stare up at the night sky. It was in that moment, when the redhead was just examining the stars, that he was grabbed from behind. He probably would have screamed like a little girl had a hand not been placed over his face.

Tetsu struggled to get out of his capture’s hold, trying his hardest to kick back at his assailant’s shins. A warm breath was at his ear, and just feeling it made shivers rack his spine. “Calm down Tets…It’s just me.” Well that certainly calmed him down. What the hell was Suzu doing here, and more importantly why had he just grabbed him in the back of the alley way? Not saying that he wasn’t ecstatic to see him, it was just surprising is all. “You’re going to go tell those wolves you came here with that you decided to stay, and then you’re going to come back here, alright?” He did his best to nod against the hand that was currently covering his face, and thankfully Suzu seemed to understand him, because the hand lowered. “Good…Now hurry up.”

He wanted to say so many things to him right then and there, but he figured he could once he got back, so instead he ran to go tell Heisuke and Yamanami that he wanted to stay with Saya. It didn’t take long, but he kept getting funny looks from the both of them. It probably had something do with the fact that he was so excited, and he was sure he looked like it. He didn’t know why Suzu had grabbed him, but any chance to be with the pale haired boy was better than none…Really, he didn’t need a reason.

The whole way back he ran at practically full sprint, he was sure that more than one of the working girls thought he was probably nuts, but at the moment he could care less. Tetsu burst through the back door, stopping at what he saw.

Suzu was sitting on top of some abandoned wagon, staring up at the full moon in the sky. Even if Suzu had changed into a demon, just sitting there, with the moon making him look practically iridescent, he almost looked like an angel. “Good puppy.” That was until he opened his mouth.

Did everyone have to call him a goddamn puppy! Where the hell had Suzu even heard that from? “Don’t call me that Suzu!” Brandy colored eyes turned to look at him, as their owner had a eerie smirk on his face.

“Oh what, is that nickname only reserved for members of the Shinsengumi? Are they the only ones that can call you that?….You, their little wolf pup.” Tetsu winced at the chiding tone in that voice he adored so much.

He chanced a few steps forward, aware of Suzu’s piercing eyes on him the entire way. “How come you’re here at Shimabara?…Did you know I was coming here or something?”

A laugh escaped him, and Tetsu watched in fascination as the muscles in his throat vibrated as he did so. “Oh my dear Tetsunosuke, not everything is about you.” Suzu extended a hand, and still a little confused, Tetsu cautiously took it. The hand pulled up onto the wagon, and he took a seat beside the pale haired teenager. “I came here to talk to the kuniochi. Running into you was pure coincidence…A nice coincidence, but a coincidence nonetheless.”

Now Tetsu had about a million questions running through his mind, but he didn’t want to make Suzu freak out like he had last time, so instead he just sort of joined him in his star gazing. After awhile though the silence became unbearable, and he just couldn’t take it anymore. “Hey Suzu?” Suzu didn’t even look at him, the only inclination he had that he had even been heard was the ‘hmm’ muttered from the boy sitting next to him. “How come you’re being like this?…Not that I’m not grateful and all, but last time I saw you you said that if you saw me again you would make me suffer.”

Suzu didn’t say anything right away, but he did he move his hand to take Tetsu’s in his own, lightly squeezing as he did so. The redhead felt his heart melt a little at the small display of affection, and he softly squeezed back. “I hated you then, and I wanted to continue hating you, but I couldn’t.” Suzu turned to look into his eyes. “Despite how much my brain may be telling me to, my heart just doesn’t have the will to wish you dead.” Tetsu sucked in a breath when the boy reached out to lightly pet his cheek. “I don’t want to hate you Tets…I want to be with you, and in turn for you to be with me.”

Not that he wasn’t insanely happy by that statement, but he was kind of confused by its meaning. “Of course I want to be with you Suzu!…There’s nothing I would like more than to be with you, but what do you mean by it exactly?”

A loud gasp escaped his throat when Suzu’s hand dived into his Kimono. His freezing cold hand touched the warm skin of his stomach, traveling all the way up his bare chest, and coming to rest once again on his injured cheek. He lightly traced the outline of the bandage, before ripping it off all together.

Tetsu’s breathing quickened when Suzu leaned in, letting his tongue snake out to trace the wound. Even though it stung, just the feeling of Suzu’s tongue on his body was enough to make a slight moan escape his throat. The tongue moved from his cheek to his ear, as Suzu’s mouth fell to his earlobe. “You taste like sake.” Tetsu’s breath was coming out in short pants as his shoulders were pushed on, forcing him on his back. Suzu quickly took advantage of his position to crawl on top of him, and as soon as he was he immediately began attacking his neck with kisses. Not only kisses though, he seemed to be sucking rather heatily on his pulse, making it hard for Tetsu to breathe, let alone think about what was going on. It was only when those kisses finally reached his mouth that he realized what was happening, and by then it was all he could do just to be able to timidly kiss back.

His arms traveled up around Suzu’s neck, pulling the boy of his affections all the more closer to him. He felt like he was drunk, and he couldn’t seem to get enough of this particular kind of alcohol. Tetsu’s head was so clouded with passion that he actually whined when Suzu finally pulled away.

When he opened his eyes back up he saw that Suzu was actually smiling down at him. This brought a smile to his face as well, because the usually morose boy looked somewhat happy. A finger fell to his forehead, running down his entire face until it reached his chin. “The things I want to do to you right now puppy would make you blush.”

The funny thing was that just hearing that made him blush, which in turn made Suzu smile again. It was then that something occurred to him. “Hey! I told you not to call me puppy.” Even as he said it he wasn’t really mad. It was weird normally he got pissed whenever someone called him that, and yet when Suzu said it so affectionately he almost liked it. The boy’s hand once again fell to the marks on his face.

“I am sorry about your face Tets…I was just really upset at the time.” Tetsu played with the silky white hair that was in his hand, still dumbfounded that this was really happening.

“Don’t worry about it. Mr. Okita bandaged it up and cleaned it with alcohol so that it wouldn’t get infected…That’s why I tasted like sake.” Suzu shifted a top him, so that instead of using his elbows to support himself, he was instead propped up on his knees, straddling his waist.

Tetsu’s eyes rolled to the back of his head as Suzu’s hands moved from the waist of his pants all the way up his chest and back down again. A moan actually escaped his throat when one of those hands dipped down to skim against his hip bone. “So responsive…” Suzu leaned down so that his mouth was right above his lips. “Just like a virgin who hasn’t even ever touched himself…or been touched.” As he was saying that last part Suzu’s hand grazed against his groin, causing a whining gasp to escape Tetsunosuke’s throat.

What he had said was true, Tetsu had never felt anything like this before, he had never even known something like this even existed. “Suzu what are you…” That’s all he got out as that hand once more grazed against his most private area. He could feel blood rushing to that part of his anatomy, and he actually cried out at the boy’s next tantalizing touch.

“I still plan to take revenge on those wolves you follow.” Tetsu’s eyes went back into focus at that. Suzu was just staring down at him, continuing to tease his innocent body with just the faintest of touches. “I plan to kill every single one of them.” His breath hitched, and he actually grabbed onto the pale haired teenager’s wrist, willing those addicting touches to stop.

“Suzu what are you talking about? I thought you said.” A finger was placed over his mouth, quieting the rest of what he was going to say.

“Aw…I said I didn’t want to kill you, and I don’t, but not those others. I plan to reap my vengeance on every single one of them.” His face had twisted in anger while he was saying that, but it softened once again when he caught his gaze. “I’m telling you this of course so that you’ll be prepared when I take my revenge.”

No…This couldn’t possibly be happening. Tetsu started to shake as the words reverberated over and over inside his head. “Suzu no, I can’t” The finger once more fell to his mouth to silence him.

“Of course I’m not asking you to be in any part of it. I know you would never agree to such a thing.” He placed a quick kiss on his forehead. “I was only telling you so that you would be prepared when it finally happened.” An insane smile seemed to light up his features. “You’ll keep me and my plans as your dirty little secret, and when it finally happens we can bask in triumph together…just the two of us.” He pet the redhead’s spikes, not seeming to realize at all what Tetsu was going through on the inside. “What do you say Tets?…Do you still want to be with me now that you know what I plan to do?”

Tetsunosuke stared up at the one he cared about more than anything, and felt like dying. How could Suzu ask this of him?…How could he ask him to choose between the one he loved and the people that trusted him and had become his family. Did he really think that he could just sit there and let it happen? Did he really think that he would just let the Shinsengumi be killed?

It was then that his earlier conversation with Saya came flooding back to him. She had told him that if there was still good in him then he could still be saved, and Tetsu sensed that good in him. It seemed to be buried under his need for revenge at the moment, but he knew it was still there. If it was there than he could still save him…If it was still there he could bring him back from over the edge before it was too late. In order to do this though he needed Suzu’s trust, and in order to gain that he had to agree to this plan.

Sitting up, Tetsu connected their mouths once again, sealing the arrangement with a kiss. When they finally pulled apart the redhead kept close to the other teenager. “Of course Suzu. I’d do anything for you…anything.” Even though he had said it to gain his trust, he couldn’t help but feel that he was telling the truth. As a matter of fact the truth bled in so much with the lies that he didn’t even know if he would have ever said no to the pale haired boy…regardless of the outcome. Suzu once again captured his lips, and during the kiss Tetsunosuke realized one thing, if Tatsu ever heard about him doing this he would never let him hear the end of it.

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A.N- Wow I am so proud of myself for updating so fast, and plus I just absolutely loved this chapter. Suzu was a little weird, but the kid’s insane, what do you expect? So what did you think? I would love to hear any comments or suggestions you might have. Do you have something you would like to see happen in this story? If so please tell me, and I might just comply…lol. Anyways authors love feedback, and as far as that matter goes I’m kinda a junky in that area….How bout this, for every review I get I’ll add another steamy Suzu/Tetsu scene!...Ha that should bring some reviews in…I hope anyways...thanks for reading