Pet Shop Of Horrors Fan Fiction ❯ For Good ❯ Chapter 1

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
Disclaimers-R-Us. All Disclaimers still apply. We don’t own Pet Shop of Horrors; Matsuri Akino does-we have no claim on the “Wicked” soundtrack except for owning a copy that Subu-chan listens to constantly while writing these fics. One of these days, it’s going to be left unattended and I’ll throw it out the window.

For Good

“I’ve heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn, and we are led to those
Who help us most to grow, if we let them
And we help them in return…
Well, I don’t know if I believe that’s true
But I know I’m who I am today because I knew you…”

“…Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better?
But because I knew you… because I knew you
I have been changed for good…”
(Excerpted from “For Good”
Wicked soundtrack, Decca Broadway records)


“-Thank you, and please do remember to follow the rules of your contract, Ms. Burton. Show him to no one, give him plenty of room and by far the most important, do not ever let him go hungry.”

The middle-aged woman nodded with the dazed look that many of D’s customers wore when D dealt with them. Cradling the shrouded cage in her arms like it was something incredibly fragile, she nodded and thanked D profusely, before hurrying up the stairs. Ten-chan uncoiled from his perch atop one of the tall lacquered cabinets. “Her grief is killing her.” He observed pithily. “She’ll stick to the letter of the contract, but that second clause is what’s going to get her. She may give him room to run, but she’ll smother him in a vain attempt to protect him. You can bet on that.”

D nodded absently as he watched the doors swing shut behind the woman. “As always, Ten-chan, you have the right of it. Her grief is consuming her as much as Maru-chan would if she forgets to feed him. Humans are such a emotionally fragile lot.” D turned and went into the back of the shop. Only someone who had known him for as long as Ten-chan would notice that D carried himself as if a great weight rested on his slender shoulders.

“They’re not the only ones, D.” Ten-chan observed quietly. His sharp green eyes were sad as he watched D vanish down the corridor. “Your grief is as crippling as hers, even if you choose not to see it.”

He felt a gentle touch on his shoulder, but didn’t turn to see who was behind him. He didn’t need to. Her musky feather-scent called to mind wild winds and open skies. “Entai-san.”

“Entai.” She corrected gently. “No formalities between us, my friend. They do not suit you.”

“Still crude and undignified, am I?” Ten-chan laughed softly. “D’s called me that often enough.”

Entai’s smile was reproving. “You are merely true to your nature.” She gazed after D, a worried frown creasing her face. “As some are struggling to be, even though it hurts. The weight of his grief is crushing. He cannot admit to it, any more than he can admit to caring so much for a human.”

“You noticed then?”

Her smile this time was sardonic. “How could I not? It is my function to watch over him as I have watched over his grandfather and great-grandfather.”

“You’re older than you let on, doll. Not his father?” Ten-chan leapt back up to his perch, overlooking the main entrance and receiving room of the pet shop. Entai lofted up to perch beside him.

“No.” She said sadly. “That is my failure. Like D, I was caught up in my own grief and did not see what was happening until far too late. He would not listen to me. He let his own anger twist his purpose into something warped and, for lack of a better word, evil. That is why D was taken from him as a child and raised by his grandfather. He would not allow another generation to be so warped.”

“Your grief?” Now Ten-chan was interested. Entai seldom spoke of her past. For a long time she had had very little to do with the other inhabitants of the pet shop, but she had recently come out of her shell, so to speak.

There was an amused sadness in her amber eyes. “I mourned the death of my race. I am the last. My mate, my mother, my children all passed before me. I am cursed to keep living while those I love slip away into the final darkness. As long as I live, my race cannot truly die.”

Ten-chan cocked his head. “I don’t get it.”

“I told you D’s father was mad, didn’t I? In the course of his experiments, he made me essentially immortal. When my mother died, she and I were the last of our kind. He would ‘not see another species fall to the humans!’ I was so caught up in my mourning for my mother, that I did not know what he was doing until it was done. He caged me and did things to me. Horrible things.” She shivered. “I do not like to remember all that he subjected me to. One night, I managed to free myself from my cage and flew on a broken wing to his father. It was then that D’s grandfather took D away from him.”

Ten-chan listened with fascinated horror. He had long know D’s father was mad, but not the extent of that madness.

Entai seemed to have forgotten that she had an audience. Her amber eyes were unfocused, gazing into the middle distance somewhere that had nothing to do with the small room they were in. “D and his grandfather bound my wing and tried to nurse me back to health, but I had no will to live. I was a broken, battered excuse for my proud race and wanted nothing more than to join those I loved in death. D’s pleas fell on willfully deaf ears. I would not eat, could not sleep, and desired nothing but the darkness to come and claim me as it had claimed my mate, my children and my mother. For weeks I lay as one dead, but I did not die. My wing healed and my body continued to live as my spirit did not.

“When my wing could bear my weight again, I flew off to seek death, but death would not come to my calls. I tried to kill myself a hundred times but I still lived. The last time I sprang into the air from a cliff-top and did not open my wings. For a timeless moment, I thought I had succeeded. But I woke, blinded, unable to move and in agony. How I wished for death then! But it did not come and gentle hands tended me and cared for me until I recovered. Broken bones healed, crushed flesh mended and eyesight returned. The one who had found me was an oracle, one of the old ones. She cared for me until my shattered body somehow restored itself and asked nothing of how I had come to be there.”

Entai shivered again before continuing, staring at a past only she could see. “One night, when I was nearly fully restored in spite of myself, she spoke to me. ‘It was a cruel thing he did to you, was it not? But you are crueler yet. Death is not the answer you seek. You have a mission, one bequeathed to you by your mother, and in a way, what he did to you is fitting.’

“ ‘How?’ I asked, for the first time feeling something other than despair. I thought she was mocking my pain and that made me angrier than I had ever been in my life. ‘I live when I want nothing so much as to die. How is it fitting? What have I done to earn such punishment?’

“Her eyes were sad and she gathered me up in her arms, heedless of the damage I could do to her in my anger. ‘You have done nothing to earn such a fate, but it is your fate, nonetheless. You were charged a task by your mother; the last of the true queens of your race. What was it?’

“I had been grief-stricken when my mother died. The final blow to a life full of loss, it seemed. ‘I do not remember.’ I told her.

“Still holding me, she dipped her hand into a bowl I did not remember seeing before then. It was filled with black water so dark it did not even reflect her image. ‘Look then and remember what it is you forgot, a task gifted to your race since the beginning of their vendetta.’

I looked and saw my mother, as she had been when I was just a nestling. And I remembered. I remembered when I was still in the downy feathers and prickles of a fledgling she had folded her wings around me and told me a story of the beginning of the pet shop and our task in it.

‘While they are guardians of all animals, we are their guardians and voices of reason.’ She said. ‘We soothe and temper the rage so that it does not burn them as it burns those who caused this. We turn their anger aside when they would lash out at those nearest them. They are emotional ones, those we guard, though sometimes they forget that. It is our task to remind them of that and to moderate those emotions when they become too much for them. It has been our task since the beginning. My mother and hers before her performed this function, as do I. When I am gone, it will fall to you and your fledglings after you.’

“But I had lost my mate and my children. And my once proud race had dwindled to a handful with more dying each day. When at last my mother was gone, I knew there would be no more after me. In a strange way, with his tortures and experiments, D’s father had done me a good turn. He had made me immortal and thus I could watch over them as was my task. An unending job for an unending life. As I had watched over D’s great-grandfather while my mother and mate still lived, and his grandfather while my mother and children still lived and failed to watch over his father when my mother and fledglings were gone; I would watch over D and those who come after him.”

Entai smiled at him, the sadness in her eyes fading. “When I returned, I kept to myself, only interceding when I had to. But a certain human brought a new life to the shop and its proprietor. I had to learn to live again, so D could. You see, I understand humans too. After all, is there any creature more self-destructive than they are? I, out of all of us, understand that desire for self-destruction. I did try to suicide over a hundred times, after all.”

Ten-chan was watching her with a mix of horror and admiration when she drew herself up, settling her wings around her with dignity. “Do I scare you now, nine-tails? I am as much a monster as humans have termed some species.”

Ten-chan shook himself free of the last lingering traces of his fascination. “I’m not scared. You forget, doll, I’ve lived a long time, both outside the pet shop and in it. I’ve seen more of monsters than most and you’re no monster. You are possibly the bravest creature I have ever met.” Ten-chan, greatly daring, reached out to stroke her cheek. She did not lash out so, emboldened, he went on. “I can’t replace those you loved and lost, but…” He shifted his form into one of a tiercel matching her. “I would be honored if you would fly with me, my lady Entai.”

Entai gaped at him, her mouth half-open in shock. “Y-you… why?”

Ten-chan grinned at her impishly. “I can be any shape I want, remember, doll? And if I want to fly courting circles with one of the bravest creatures I know, who’s to tell me no? D wouldn’t dare, and no one else would care. Besides,” His grin widened. “You said you had to learn to live so D could, right? So fly with me, beautiful!”

For the first time since he had known her, Entai’s laughter held no sadness or shadows of sorrow. It was rich and full of joy as she leapt into the air. “You can fly with me if you can catch me, my flying fox!” She arrowed through the door and Ten-chan followed her into the open sky. A passerby watched two hawks with feathers of flame skydancing before shaking his head and mentally denying he had seen anything. Who would believe him if he had claimed to see a nine-tailed fox and a gigantic hawk dancing in the air?



Sometime later, D entered the front of the shop to close up for the night. A soft rustle of feathers made him look up. On top of one of the tall lacquered cabinets Entai and Ten-chan slept curled around each other. Entai lifted her head and disentangled herself from the sleeping fox’s embrace, dropping lightly to the floor. “Count D.” She greeted him with a smile.

“Entai.” D smiled back at her. “You seem quite happy. Could it be that you no longer fly alone?”

“Not alone. Ten-chan consented to share the sky with me for a time. When he will choose otherwise, who is to say? I cannot claim to know what is in his heart. But for the moment, we dance the same winds and I am happy. And what of you, Count?”

D glanced at her out of the corner of one eye. “What of me? I am as I have always been.”

Entai’s trill of laughter was mocking. “You cannot hide grief from me, D. Sorrow and I are well-acquainted. You bear a weight of sadness to equal my own, and it is not the same as the one you bear for every species that dies.”

D looked away. “I sorrow for all those lost.”

She drifted closer and caught his chin. “And if some of them are human?”

“Entai?!” D found himself at a loss for words.

“You cannot fool me, D. You have been mourning ever since we left LA. All the times we have moved on, all the cities we have left behind, none has affected you quite so strongly as this one. You mourn what you cannot have.”

D scowled at her, hiding his unease behind anger. “You are quite wrong.”

“Am I?” Entai’s voice was solemn. “Always before you were able to cut the ties cleanly and go on, but this time you carry a great weight of sorrow. You miss them. Detective Orcot and his brother, I mean.”

D glanced around for escape, but save for the sleeping Ten-chan, they were alone. He let his head sag. “Perhaps you are right. I never thought I would be so affected by that boorish, ill-mannered lout of a human and the innocent trust of his little brother, but I grieved to leave them behind.” He slumped onto one of the low couches. “He is human, but I miss his presence. I find myself thinking, ‘what would he make of that?’ when I read something in the news that would have caught his eye. Sometimes, when I say something, I find myself waiting for a sarcastic comment when no one is there to make one. When the door opens, I expect to see him coming in for tea, even knowing he is halfway around the world from here.”

Entai settled next to him, sheltering him beneath a wing as she would a fledgling. “My poor Count D.” She crooned softly.

“I should hate him. He is human and our vengeance is not complete until all humans are dead. I know this, but…” D’s voice was unsteady, wavering like it might break.

Entai lifted his head so their eyes met, mismatched blue-violet and gold to rich amber. “D, may I tell you something?”

Startled, D nodded. “Of course, my hawk. Should you even have to ask?”

“Because it is something you may not wish to hear. In all the world, there are only two creatures that I can find it in my broken and scarred heart to hate. One of them is your father for what he did to me. I hate him with a blinding rage that has not faded one bit since his death. And the other…” She sighed. “The other is myself, for surviving when my family did not. I do not hate the humans for their part in their deaths. I hate myself for not dying with those I loved. I am as human as they are in some respects. No animal was ever born who could be as self-destructive or as self-hating as a human, but I am. Out of all the creatures in your shop, I am the only one who can be so.”

D stared at her for a long moment, unsure of where she was going with this. “I do not regret what was done to me now, but for a long time, I did.” She continued. “I would not wish a sorrow like mine on any other creature. If it means you have to seek him out to be happy, I will support you and watch over you as I have since you were a small child. Always.”

“I cannot.” D’s voice was choked. “I cannot betray what I am again. I cannot be less than I am.”

Entai sighed and folded her wings around him, crooning low in her throat. “Rest, my count. Things will work themselves out. Trust me.”

D dropped into sleep with a suddenness that startled her and she looked up into the bright eyes of Ten-chan, grinning down at her from the top of the cabinet. “One of my lesser known talents, doll. He hasn’t slept well in days. All I had to do was remind him of that and poof, he was down for the count!” Ten-chan laughed at his own pun, dropping down to help her stretch D out on the couch.

Entai shuddered and drew her arms tight around her chest, looking down at the count. “I cannot help him when he is so determined not to be helped.”

“What can we do?” Ten-chan embraced her and she relaxed into his hold.

“I am not sure. I can try something, but I don’t know if it will work.”

“What?”

Entai slipped out of his arms and sighed. She plucked at her feathers until she removed a bead of clear crystal that had been braided to one of the feather-shafts. “The oracle who saved me?” When Ten-chan nodded, she went on. “She gave me this, said I would know when I needed to use it. It would guide me to her. I think now is the time to find her again. Maybe she can help.”

“I’ll come with you.”

Entai offered him a smile full of gratitude. “Thank you, my fox. Wake Tetsu. He can watch over D until we return.”

Ten-chan snorted. “Oh, he’ll just love that. We’re searching for a way to reunite D with the one human that guy hates most of all.”

Entai laughed teasingly. “Then by all means, my nine-tails, do not tell him so!”

“Do you think I’m crazy, lady? I don’t want to be next on the menu.” Ten-chan chuckled and darted off to wake the Totetsu.

When he returned, trailed by a yawning Tetsu, Entai was waiting by the door. “We will be back soon, Tetsu-sama,” She said softly. “Watch over him while we are gone.”

Tetsu scowled at her, but there was no anger in the expression. “Like you really had to ask, Birdy.”

Entai smiled at him and left her post at the door to kiss his cheek. “But I did anyway. Thank you.”

The Totetsu watched her leap into the air, followed by Ten-chan in hawk form. He shook his head. Well, if the carefree fox had taken up with her, he sure wasn’t complaining. Maybe that would keep Ten-chan from flirting with every other creature in the shop. Tetsu could use the break. He yawned again and settled watchfully in front of the low couch.



Ten-chan followed Entai up into the higher air, where she found a thermal and glided on it. “Where are we headed, doll?”

“Not far. I didn’t expect her to be so close. She is barely an hour’s flight away.” She sideslipped into another air-current and turned her head to look at him. “ ‘Reunite him?’ ” She asked. “What an odd thing for an inhabitant of the pet-shop to say.”

“Not really.” Ten-chan dipped his wings to follow. “I told D once before, I don’t hate humans. They’re entertaining, to say the least. I actually like the detective. Anyone that can drive ol’ Tetsu nuts is okay by me!”

Entai laughed. “I liked him too. He amused me and kept the count on his toes. For that alone, I would seek out the oracle. D needed his worldview shaken up a little.” She rowed her wings until she caught the updraft from the black asphalt road that wound away into the dusk.

Ten-chan struggled to keep up, his narrower wings rowing furiously until he too caught the updraft. Entai glanced back at him, her golden eyes twinkling merrily. “Did I wear you out earlier, Ten-chan?” There was laughter in her voice.

Ten-chan had to laugh. This playful, wonderful version of Entai delighted him. He had seen glimpses of her wicked sense of humor before, but the full form was a thrill that reminded him why he had danced sky-circles with her earlier. “You wish. When we don’t have such pressing business, I’ll be happy to fly circles around you to prove it!”

Entai’s beak gaped in a grin. “You’re on, Doll.”

Ten-chan laughed so hard that he had to correct desperately to stay aloft. Entai was searching the ground below as he drew abreast of her. “She is close, but where?”

Ten-chan darted his head down to look at the human landscape laid out beneath them. A flutter of white caught his predator’s eyes. “There!”

Atop a tall building, there was a penthouse apartment, surrounded by a balcony covered in lush greenery. Among the plants, a woman in sea-foam green draperies stretched her hands out toward them. The pale white was her platinum hair streaming in the wind. Entai wheeled sharply and dropped to the balcony railing. The woman rushed to embrace her as Entai stepped down from the railing, wearing her human form. “My hawk!” She cried joyfully. “I’ve missed you! How beautiful you look!”

The woman caught sight of Ten-chan as he dropped to the roof behind Entai. “And who is this? Have you found someone to keep you company at last?”

Entai smiled at the woman. “This is Ten-chan. He flies with me for the time being. Ten-chan, this is Maddie.”

“Charmed.” Ten-chan assumed human guise and bowed courteously over her offered hand.

“What a charming fox you have found, Entai! Both of you, come inside out of the wind.” She led them inside to a room that was done up to resemble the inside of a tent, blue and green draperies cascading down from the ceiling and hiding the walls. “So what brings you to me?”

“How to ask…?” Entai mused as she perched on one of the lounges next to Ten-chan.

“You have to ask the right question, my hawk.” Maddie smiled at Entai, spreading her hands.

Entai laughed. “I remember. What can I do to bring the D and the human back together?”

“Nothing.” Maddie laughed. “Cleverly phrased, my hawk, but still not the right question. When you seek for others, you must remember that.”

Entai scowled. “What can be done to bring D and Leon Orcot together again?”

“Now you have it!” Maddie laughed and clapped her hands. “It calls for patience on your part. What you seek, seeks also. He has traveled many lands, ever searching; ever questing. He is close to finding the way.” She grinned mischievously. “With just a little help to point out the path.”

Ten-chan was baffled and knew he looked it, but Entai’s eyes widened and her jaw dropped. Understanding lit her golden eyes. “You!”

“Indeed. I told you once before, I hold the entire lives of seekers in my head. His is one of them. I was going to find him when I felt your call. He is near the end of his search.”

“What can I do?”

“There is nothing for you to do but be patient. Watch over D as is your appointed task. Offer him counsel and hope, and soothe his troubles. Tell him nothing, for what you do not know, you cannot tell.” Maddie frowned thoughtfully. “It is a long road for my seeker, and he nears the end of his endurance. I must go to him soon. I regret that I can only point him the right way and offer aid. I cannot be certain of the outcome.”

Entai fought to keep from mantling. Ten-chan rested a hand on her shoulder until she calmed enough to speak clearly again. “What outcomes can you see?” She gritted.

“There are endless possibilities but there are two paths that seem the clearest.”

“And?”

“Both lead to the ending of a life, but only one also offers rebirth.”

Entai looked stunned. “Death?”

Maddie rose from her seat and knelt in front of Entai, taking her hands in her own. When she spoke, her words were for Entai, but her violet eyes caught and held Ten-chan’s. “I have told you all I can, my hawk, but understand this. An ending of life and death are not necessarily synonymous. Ask your beloved fox. He understands.”

Entai turned to him, her hands still clasped tightly in the oracle’s.

“I’m not sure I understand.” Ten-chan demurred.

“When she died, you felt her. She was gone but she remained. Trapped by the thing that had murdered her and stolen her body. When D set her free, you felt her, full of power and light, lingering to help you and D save the human, did you not?”

Ten-chan shivered, looking away. “Ari…”

“She exists as something entirely different now. No longer fettered by a body, but not gone entirely.”

Entai’s gaze darted back and forth between them, full of confusion and despair. “Ten-chan?”

“A long time ago, when you were still courting death, I think, D’s father created-created something, for lack of a better word. D thinks it was originally a parasite, one that he altered for his own use as a weapon against humans. But it got away from him.” Ten-chan said with a solemn tone that was utterly unlike him. “Now, this was way before I knew D personally. I was living among humans in my native land with my mate, Ari. I knew of the pet shop and knew it was nearby, but never cared. But that all changed when an old human friend died suddenly and mysteriously. That was the beginning of the end. The creatures had escaped and were killing indiscriminately. But that wasn’t the worst of it. They bred, taking over the bodies of others as their vehicles.”

Ten-chan shuddered, looking away from Entai’s haunted eyes. “They took my Ari. One day there was a stranger living behind her beautiful eyes, and the Ari I knew was gone. They nearly took me, and I barely escaped with my life. D found me and nursed me back to health. We fought them then, but failed. I thought I had killed the thing that took my beloved with my own teeth, but she lived.

“Then, a year ago, they tried again, this time by taking Detective Orcot. This time we defeated them and saved him, but there was no saving the ones infected. When the parasite died, so did the host body. Ari’s spirit helped D and I save Leon.” How much he had left out, but there were the bare bones of it. Ten-chan flashed her a grin that held no humor. “We’re more alike than you know, doll. I hated myself for killing her, even though I had failed. I didn’t know that and hated myself as much as any human is capable of.”

“Ten-chan-?” Entai freed a hand from Maddie’s and reached toward him. Ten-chan took it, his vulpine smile sad.

“Now you see?” He asked. “How could I hate you for a monster, when I’m a worse one? I tried to kill Ari with my own fangs and hated myself for it.”

Maddie released Entai’s hands and rose, pacing around the room like a caged whirlwind. “Enough! I did not bring this up so you could both descend into self-hatred again! You have learned, though hard and painful lessons they were. You have both found a place and people to care for, including, I suspect, the count and the human he cares for. You have learned the lessons from it, now let the past lie where it should-in the past.” She whirled to face them; filmy cloth frothing around her like the sea it took its color from. “What I illustrated was the fact that an ending of life is not always death. You will understand in time. He will come back.”

Entai’s head came up. “You said you could not be certain of the outcome. How-?”

“-Do I know he will return?” Maddie smiled. “As Ari helped D and Ten-chan when she was freed from her shell, I know that even in the final darkness, his spirit would linger. High emotion does not fade so easily. He would seek D out past the gates of death itself, this much I know. But I hope…” She sank down on a chair. “I always hope. If I did not, I would go mad from what rattles around in my head.”

Entai sighed and shook out her feathers. “Then I will hope too, and struggle to keep D’s hope alive.” She smiled back at Maddie. “And I will try to be patient, though that doesn’t come easily to me.”

Ten-chan embraced her. “I’ll help you, doll.” Entai returned the embrace.

“Then your question is answered.” Maddie escorted both of them back out onto the roof. “And remind D every now and again, that while he can never be less than what he is, he can be more. All it takes is opening his heart and learning to trust again.”

Entai chuckled to hear D’s words twisted around so neatly by the oracle. “I will try. And the human?”

“I have to go point him the way.” Maddie smiled and took the crystal bead from Entai, gently re-braiding it into her feathers. “Keep this. My door is always open to you, and not just when you have a question. I will always be happy to see you.”

Entai embraced her before leaping into the night sky. Ten-chan followed her, leaving the strange woman known as Maddie standing alone on the wind-swept rooftop.

She stared after them for a long moment until her eyes could no longer pick them out from the darkness. “My hawk, you were always so selfless, even when wracked with survivor’s guilt. Always others came first. You asked nothing I could not give and so I will do my best to help you. For what you did not ask, I will also do all I can…”


Subu-chan:Okay, okay! For all of you out there brandishing torches and screaming for the blood and/or heads of Akita and myself, please calm yourselves or I will be forced to do something drastic. For the story of Leon’s meeting with Maddie and his journey, please see “Defying Gravity.” That will tell the rest of that particular story. The story with Entai and Ten-chan just suggested itself when we finished “No Good Deed” and “Something Bad.” Ten-chan was a favorite character of mine the first time I read the story with him in it, and so-
Akita:Uhm, Subu-chan…?
Subu-chan:Not now, Akita. The adults are talking. Anyway, Akita and I decided to explore a little of his past. Entai, however, is entirely our own creation. She started as a very minor character from another storyline entirely and pretty much told us we were going to write her into the pet shop whether we liked it or not. From there, she stole the show. Put her and Ten-chan in the same room and sparks were bound to fly-
Akita:Subu-chan…?
Subu-chan:I told you. Not now. I’m busy here.
Akita:Uhm, Subu-chan? It’s really kind of important. Really.
Subu-chan:(Sighs) Excuse me for a moment. What is it, Akita?
Akita:That drastic thing you were talking about?
Subu-chan:Yes?
Akita:You might want to tell me about it.
Subu-chan:Why would that be?
Akita:‘Cause there’s a whole bunch of people outside with torches and pitchforks and they don’t look happy. I don’t think they stuck around for your long-winded explanation. They keep yelling something about tarring and feathering. I don’t know what that is, but I don’t think it’s a good thing. There’s somebody with a rope that keeps saying something about “stretching their necks.” I don’t need my neck stretched. It’s long enough already!
Subu-chan:Oh, dear…
Akita:That drastic thing? You might want to do that now. I think they’re lighting more torches.
Subu-chan:Oh, my. Excuse me, dear readers, while I go bar the doors and hide Akita’s Ritalin.
Akita:Subu-chan, I’m scared! What about the drastic thing, huh?
Subu-chan:That is the drastic thing. You without your Ritalin is enough to send them screaming home to mommy. And if it’s not, I won’t care after putting up with you unmedicated. I’ll probably tie the noose myself. Goodbye for now, faithful readers. If you don’t see us again, do remember us fondly while the crows are picking the decaying flesh from our bones.
Akita:Subu-chan…? They’re coming this way!! Run!!!!
(The end…?)