Pirates Of The Caribbean Fan Fiction ❯ Pirates of the Caribbean: Bamboozled ❯ Bamboozled ( Chapter 1 )

 

Author's Note: This is being submitted to the Mediaminer Halloween "Trick or Treat" fanfic contest. The fic has to contain a trick or deception (It features Jack Sparrow, that was a given) and a treat for the main character (again, it's Jack Sparrow...) I hope you enjoy the trickery, deception and overall bamboozlement.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from Disney's “Pirates of the Caribbean”.

 

Pirates of the Caribbean: Bamboozled

Jack sat silently in the dank, rundown tavern; listening to one wild story after another being spun, while the stagnant smell of cheap booze and women filled the air around him. He had been more than delighted to dock the Pearl at the port in Tortuga. Rum and women had been the only things on his mind when out of the blue some scallywag had walked up and asked his name.


“The name's Captain Jack Sparrow,” he'd replied proudly. No sooner had the words left his mouth, than the man's fist connected with it.


“That was rather unexpected,” he mumbled as he tried to regain his bearings.


“I thought you were Sparrow. Touch my woman again and you'll get worse than a bloody mouth!”


Jack took a long swig of his rum, doing his best to enjoy it despite the cut on his lip that, to the best of his recollection, he did nothing to deserve.


“ --and then I killed `ol Gallagher and took over his ship.”


Jack finally had enough and looked over at the familiar man telling the story.

“All fine and well, mate, but 'ol Gallagher died nearly fifty years before you were even born, ” Jack said with a smirk. The man gave Jack an annoyed look then turned back to his captive audience.

“As I was sayin' ...” He continued again.

`Bloody idiot,' Jack thought as the story started anew, the name “Smith” in place of Gallagher. Jack did his best to ignore the fact that most of his crew was buying into every single word that was being said, almost enamored with the blubbering miscreant saying them. Not more than ten minutes later a strumpet walked by and offered the men a seductive smile. She was clearly prowling for her next customer but Jack wasn't quite finished with his rum, and wasn't yet in the mood for pleasurable company.

“How you boys doin' tonight?” She asked sweetly.

“Doin' just fine, love. You come over here looking for some company?” She smiled brightly at the older man. Even for his age he wasn't a bad looking guy, so as long as he had money, she had time.

“That all depends,” she said coyly.

“Well, love, you've come to the right place. Jack Sparrow never leaves a woman without proper company.” The woman gave the older man a funny look and then glanced at Jack who was eyeing him up now.

`That bastard's using my name again.'

“But I thought...” She began.

“His bloody name is Nigel,” Jack said without fanfare as he stood up and smirked at the woman. He then tossed a few shillings on the table. “I'm sure my father will show you a boisterous time.”


Jack threw open the door of the pub and made his way out into the drunken paradise that was Tortuga. The air was growing much more mild as the long, hot summer days gave way to the slightly cooler, shorter days of autumn. He walked past several women that smiled at him charmingly and tried to convince him to stop, but he simply continued on his way. A large, bald pirate lumbered past him, with a scowl etched on his face. Normally, Jack didn't pay much attention to the other men that were roaming about, but now he had to be careful of whom he revealed his identity to.

`That bastard disappears for years at a time and still uses my name,' he muttered inwardly while heading back down towards the Pearl. `It's not my bloody fault his parents named him Nigel.'

“Where ya goin', lad?” Jack rolled his eyes when his father's voice caught up with him.

“I'm going out to my ship. I thought you had a woman to keep company,” he replied. Nigel caught up with Jack and stopped in front of him.

“I would have thought I taught you better manners than that,” he said with a good natured grin. “It's been awhile, eh, son? Got yer father's good looks, if I do say so meself.”

“Aye, thankfully I got me mum's brains,” Jack retorted. Nigel shook his head and chuckled.

“Got her sharp tongue too,” he said. “Ye still sail the Pearl?”

“Aye, she's down at the dock,” he answered.


“You Jack Sparrow?" A loud voice interrupted their reunion and Jack turned to find a man standing looking at the two of them expectantly.


“Aye,” he said then felt a fist connect with his mouth a second time that night. The man didn't even bother offering a further explanation. Jack took a moment to regain his orientation then he looked at his father.

“I may have—crossed a few paths,” Nigel said with a sheepish grin. Jack wiped the blood of his lip and fought off the urge to pull his pistol on his father.

“You think?” He asked sarcastically then turned and continued on his way.

“Don't be that way, lad! Come back to the pub and let yer old man buy you a drink.” Jack slowed his pace, as his interest perked. Rum was always good and even more so when he wasn't the one paying for it. He spun around and smirked at his father.

“Make it two,” he said. “And I might forget that you've been making a mockery of me name.”

“Aye, two it is,” Nigel replied and headed back through the crowded streets towards the tavern.

“You still sail with ol' Joshamee?”

“Gibbs? Aye, think he went to find himself some pleasurable company,” Jack replied.

“You mean there's a time when women aren't bad luck?” Nigel asked then chuckled.

“Very few, apparently.” Jack replied.

Both walked up and sat themselves down at the bar and ordered their drinks. Jack then sat nursing his rum, wincing slightly when the alcohol touched the cuts on his lip. It wasn't long before he noticed a few men across the room talking amongst themselves and then one pointed in their direction. Immediately a less than happy looking scallywag came charging across the pub.

“You Jack Sparrow?”

“Na, mate, name's Nigel. He's Jack Sparrow,” Jack replied and motioned to his father. Nigel's nearly chocked on his rum then stood quickly, only to have the man knock him to the floor. He blinked back the pain a few times then stood, holding his jaw.

“Suppose I deserved that,” he admitted.

“How long have ye been here anyway?” Jack asked in near bewilderment. Even he hadn't been capable of making so many enemies in such a small place before.

“`Bout three days,” Nigel replied as he sat and took another drink.

“You've only been here for three days and you've already got half the bloody place wantin' your head?” Jack asked. Nigel grinned and held up his glass.

“What can I say, lad? I have a weakness for the lasses.”

“You've got a bloody weakness in the head, is more like it,” Jack muttered.

“JACK!” Jack's eyes widened and he turned to see a familiar person coming towards him, looking none to happy.

“What a surprise! I didn't think I'd see you so soon,” he said in mock pleasantness as he stood to greet his approaching friend. Nigel shook his head as once again a fist connected with his son's face.

“Why does everyone keep doing that?” Jack growled as he wiped his tender lip.

“I don't recall this one bein' my fault, mate,” Nigel offered.

“No, this one was my own doing,” he admitted. “Nice to see you too, lad.”

“Don't give me that, Jack; you know why I'm here.”

Nigel looked between the two of them then finished off his rum. “This takes me back. I used to hear those words from yer mum all the time,” he said then gave them both a hard look. “Thought ya liked the lasses, son. Not that I'm judging you.” Both men looked at Nigel in mutual disgust.

“Who are you?” Asked the younger man. He could clearly see a resemblance between Jack and Nigel.

“Names Captain Jack Sparrow Senior,” he replied with a grin.

“First of all, yer not a bloody captain. Secondly, yer name is Nigel, you know it and I know it. It might make ya sound like a fastidious, pansified, namby-pamby; but your just gonna have to square with that, mate. Thirdly, this here's Will Turner. I borrowed a little something from him,” Jack said with a mischievous smirked.

“You stole it,” Will accused.

“Haven't we been through this before, lad?” Jack asked with a grin then motioned towards himself. “Pirate.”

*

Jack seated himself at the bar again, doing his best to ignore the look of death he was receiving from young mister Turner. He finally rolled his eyes when he felt the cold blade of a sword rest against his neck.

“You don't want to be doing that, mate,” he said then waved the blade away. He knew Will would never harm him; the lad was too much like his father.

“Perhaps you don't know me as well as you would like to think,” Will replied. Jack glanced back at him then smirked.

“What's a lil trinket anyway, lad? It seems to me I did you a favor, really,” Jack said.

“A favor?” Will asked, almost dumbfounded by his logic. Jack spun towards him and nodded while waving his hand towards him.

“I had business in Port Royal. If our honorable Commodore would have found me wandering about, he would have started questioning you and your bonny lass, savvy? That little trinket gave me the money I needed to be on me way,” he informed him and then went back to his drink.

“That little trinket,” Will said through clenched teeth. “Is Elizabeth's engagement ring.”

Jack sniggered to him self then looked at Will solemnly.

“Seems I really did do you a favor then, aye?” He said.

“Captain... Jack... Sparrow...” Jack's eyes widened at the voice that was coming from behind him.

`Bloody hell,' he thought then turned to greet Elizabeth who was now standing there looking less than pleased to see him.

“Oh good, we're all here!” He said in the most elated voice he could muster as he threw his hands in the air. “Drink all around- on my father.”

Nigel remained silent, waiting to see who would take the next swing at his son. `Might be best if I start usin' a new name,' he mused to himself.


Jack's smirk faded instantly as Elizabeth snatched Will's blade and held it up to his throat. “Where is it?” She questioned sharply.

Jack's widened eyes never left the blade. “Seems I may have--misplaced it--as it where,” he said slowly as he lifted his hand and fidgeted nervously.

“I don't care how you get it back, but you will, Mister Sparrow. Or I will personally turn you over to the commodore--savvy?” Jack nearly recoiled at her words. She was perhaps more frightening than any pirate he'd ever come across.

“What did you say yer name was, love?” Nigel asked. All three looked at him, and if Jack could have kicked him without impaling himself, he would have.

“Might pick a better time to chat up the lasses, eh?” Jack asked pointedly.

Nigel simply grinned at Elizabeth then looked at his son. “Any lass that looks that good and can put you in your place, is my kinda woman,” he said. Elizabeth just stared at him in near disbelief for a moment before looking at Will.

“He's Jack's father,” he explained.

“Charming,” she said sarcastically.

“Watch the blade, darling,” Jack warned nervously. Elizabeth turned back to him and glared until he relented.


“Right then, suppose we should be finding that ring of yours, eh, love?”

*


“If you would just tell us who has her ring we could be on our way,” Will said in exasperation as he followed Jack across the crowded tavern . Jack rolled his eyes in frustration and finally turned to the whelp that was tagging along behind him like a yapping puppy.

“It wouldn't do you a bloody bit of good, mate. I sold that ring long before I got to Tortuga,” he informed him.

“Then who are you looking for?” Will demanded.

“Someone who owes me money,” Jack replied with a grin that quickly faded, “...and who hasn't met my father yet.” Jack stood surveying the room and saw a rather large man being pointed in his direction.

'Bloody hell, not again.' Jack took a look around as the scallywag charged over towards them.

“Jack Sparrow?” He growled. Jack gave an inconspicuous nod in Will's direction then took a step away from him. The young blacksmith glanced at Jack in total confusion and then felt a fist connect with his face, knocking him backwards onto a table.

“Next time it'll be my pistol,” the man threatened and then staggered off. Jack smirked smugly at his long lost friend and sauntered a bit closer.

“That,” he said with a wicked grin, and pointed at Will. “Was for the oar.” Will furrowed his brow in total confusion and then remembered the time he had knocked Jack unconscious on the Isle De Muerta so that he could free Elizabeth from Barbossa's men.

“So now we're even?” He asked as he stood to face Jack again.

“Square,” Jack corrected.

“Square?” Will asked. Jack rolled his eyes again and sighed inwardly.

“Now we're square,” Jack repeated. “Don't you think it would be in everyone's best interest if you were watching over young Miss Swann?” Jack asked irritably, hoping to rid himself of the boy. Will gave him a suspicious look. He knew Jack well enough to know that if he left him alone he would sneak away and they would never have Elizabeth's ring returned to them.

“I left her with your father,” Will answered. Jack's eyes widened and he took off back across the tavern in a hurry.

“He won't harm her, will he?” Will asked as he followed quickly, alarmed by Jack's sudden rush.

“It's not her I'm concerned about.”


*

“...So anyway, love. I once sailed under the command of a bloody idiot. His name was...well, the name isn't really important. One day he fell overboard and, being the considerate man that I am, I jumped in to save him. Once he was safely on the ship again, he asked how he could repay me for my good deed.” Elizabeth sat quietly, listening to the old man continue to talk endlessly. She wasn't entirely certain if he was attempting to flirt with her or tell a joke, either way, she was ready to drag Jack back over and threaten his life again.

“And how did he repay you?” She asked politely.

“I told him to keep it quiet. If the crew found out I saved him, they would've throw me in with him.” He began chucking at his own joke which made her smile slightly. He seemed friendly enough, even if he was a bit odd.

Jack slowed when he saw that his father and Elizabeth were fairing well. No one had been dismembered, at least not yet.


“Tell me, lad, what means of conveyance did you and your bonny lass annex in your pursuit of this minor trinket?” Will stared blankly at Jack for a moment, which caused Jack to roll his eyes in annoyance. “How did you get to Tortuga?”

“Governor Swann granted us permission to travel here,” he answered. Jack looked at him suspiciously then took a quick gander around the tavern.

“I seem to have missed the commodore's arrival,” Jack said.

“The commodore didn't accompany us,” Will informed him. “Lieutenant Gillette did.”

“Ah...” Jack said. “I imagine you brought one of the navy's finest vessels, no doubt. Heaven knows the Governor would never allow his daughter to travel in anything less than the most ostentatious ship available.”

“We did,” Will said cautiously. “We brought the St. Andrews.” Jack nodded but Will recognized the look on his face. He was either planning something or hiding something, which it was, he wasn't yet certain.

“Why does the ship matter?”

Jack suddenly smiled as if he didn't have a care in the world. “No reason,” he replied. “Why don't you sit here and regale my father with tales of our little adventure while I see if I can't find the bloke that I sold Elizabeth's ring too, eh?” Will watched him closely but tentatively nodded in agreement. He then returned to the table where Nigel and Elizabeth were sitting.

Jack darted out of the tavern and sashayed down to the docks. He hadn't been lying when he had said he hadn't expected to see Will so soon. Frankly, he had been anticipating a confrontation with Norrington. However, he had been right in assuming they would use the St. Andrews when they did set out searching for him. He quickly crossed the gangway and found that there were few men on the deck of the ship. He recognized one immediately and assumed he was Lieutenant Gillette. Quite frankly, his last encounters with Norrington's men hadn't exactly been a chat over tea, so they lacked a familiarity that would put them on a first name basis.


“Good evening, Gentlemen,” he began in a loud voice. “No cause for alarm. Young Mister Turner and Miss Swann are perfectly safe and otherwise unharmed.”


Gillette looked as if he had just seen a ghost. Apparently, he hadn't been prepared to actually face the elusive Captain Jack Sparrow again in his lifetime. “What are you doing here?” He finally articulated. Jack grinned and then began speaking with his hands before he could even begin to vocalize the words.

“I'm afraid that, while Mister Turner and Miss Swann are both unharmed, they are, in fact, in need of your assistance...as it were.” Gillette looked to the other crewmen that were aboard the ship then started towards the gangway. The last thing he needed was to have the governor's daughter become injured while in his care.

“Lieutenant,” Jack said as Gillette prepared to exit the ship. He halted and turned back towards Jack. “It might be best for all involved if you remove those wigs and jackets before you go charging into a port full of miscreants with pistols, savvy?” Gillette again looked to the other officers who simply shrugged. He then nodded in nervous agreement and rid himself of his wig and naval garb. The other men quickly followed suit and followed him down the dock. Jack grinned then reached into his pocket and pulled out the small engagement ring he had been holding onto for nearly three weeks.


“Works better than a key,” he said smugly to himself and then started below deck. He quickly began moving old crates aside until he found the one he had planted on the ship. It had a pattern similar to leaves engraved in the wood and Jack recognized it right away. He and his crew had been scouting the Windward Passage when they happened upon a Spanish Galleon full of valuables. They had gotten a few trinkets out of the plunder, but it was the crate full of Chinese porcelain that would make Jack and the crew a nice profit. However, he was aware that if he was caught with the porcelain, the East India Company would seize it and he would be left with nothing.


It was then that he had decided to stop over in Port Royal. Given that he had saved the Governor's daughter, he was much more likely to get away with his deception there than at almost any other port. When he stopped at the blacksmith's shop, hoping to find a way to trick Will into bringing the porcelain to him, both Elizabeth and Will had been there. That was when he decided to steal the ring, after exchanging pleasantries, of course. He knew that something so valuable would cause them to come looking for him and the St. Andrews was the only ship that could anchor in Tortuga without drawing too much suspicion. It was relatively new and had yet to stir a reputation amongst the buccaneers that inhabited the port.


Now his porcelain had been delivered safely to him. Who, after all, would expect to find plundered goods on a naval vessel?


He quickly shoved the ring back in his pocket and lifted the heavy crate and began struggling up the stairs with it. He made it clear to the dock before Mr. Gibbs came upon him.

“I went back to the tavern,” his first mate explained Obviously, he had seen that Will and Elizabeth had arrived, so he came looking for Jack, hoping to find the porcelain as well. “Seems that you were right, Captain.” Both men grinned and Jack motioned toward the crate. Gibbs quickly helped him lift it and they hurried to one of the smaller inns and stowed it safely in a room.

“What about the ring?” Gibbs questioned.

Jack smirked slightly and shook his head. “We already have the porcelain, mate,” he answered. “There are some things you just can't quite put a price on, eh?” Gibbs nodded in understanding. Neither had any reason to dislike Will or Elizabeth. Plundering ships wasn't the same as stealing personal belongings that held value, especially from people that had saved your life.

“I'll stay here tonight,” Gibbs offered. The last thing he intended to do was leave their plunder unguarded. Jack nodded then sauntered to the door.


“I shall return Elizabeth her ring and offer my condolences to young William,” Jack quipped as he opened the door. “Tomorrow we will be rich men.”


“Aye,” Gibbs agreed enthusiastically. Jack hurried back to the tavern and saw no sign of Gillette or the other men, though they were likely still trying to locate Will and Elizabeth.


“Well,” Jack said as he found his way back to their table. “I just happened to have the very good fortune of finding the gentleman that purchased that little trinket of yours. It seems he intended to give it to some lass as an engagement ring but came to his senses just in the nick of time.”

Elizabeth stood and offered him an unamused look.“Where is it?” She questioned.


Jack pulled it from his pocket and held it out so she could see it. “Good as new, love,” he said. She quickly snatched it from his hand before he could begin any of his bargaining. “No need to be rude, darling.”


“I hardly think you are qualified to be passing judgment on social etiquette,” she said dryly. Will stood as well and looked at Jack curiously.


“If it was so simple, why didn't you just turn it over sooner?”

“Quite frankly, I was hoping you would give up and leave,” Jack quipped. “But since the two of you seem to embody the very definition of the word persistence, I decided I would save myself the trouble of being burdened with your relentless company for the rest of my natural life.”

“Thank you, Jack,” Elizabeth said with a smirk. “I'm sure it wasn't easy for you to give up something so valuable.”


“Aye, love,” he said in a feigned somber voice then glanced at the door. “Not to rush the pleasantries along, but I may have sent your navy men on an unnecessary and utterly precarious expedition. The last I saw, they had shed half their clothes and were rushing towards the port.” Will's eyes widened and he hurriedly turned and headed for the door. Elizabeth watched Jack for a moment longer and then smirked.


“Good luck to you, Jack,” she said knowingly. She wasn't foolish enough to believe he hadn't done something amidst all of the chaos. “It's a shame you won't be at the wedding. I know how much you love them.”

“I'm sure it will be a most sumptuous affair, love,” he said with a grin. She glanced at his father and said a polite good bye before turning to follow Will. Jack took a seat across from Nigel and ordered another rum for the both of them, then he leaned back looking completely self satisfied.


“Do you intend to tell me what it is that you've been planning?” Nigel asked curiously. Jack looked at him for a moment and then relented. He had sailed under his father's command before and, after he had first acquired the Pearl, his father had sailed under his.

“Do you recall when you sailed under my command and you lept into the water heroically when I had a bit too much rum and fell overboard?” Jack questioned. “Maybe now I can give you proper payment.” Nigel chuckled and sat forward.


“As I said, son. Not telling the crew was payment enough...”


“Then let's come to an accord, shall we?” Jack suggested. “I'll refrain from telling anyone that you saved my life if you stop using my name before you get me killed, aye?”

“Aye,” Nigel agreed. “We have an accord.” Both men drank down their rum and then Nigel stood and smirked down at his son. “By the way, lad, I never had the heart to tell you; but when you were babe, your mother named you Kelly. It was only when you got older that I started calling you Jack.” Jack sat in complete stunned silence as his father continued. “Now I realize that it may make you sound like a fastidious, pansified, namby-pamby, but you'll just have to square with that some day, son.”