Pokemon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction ❯ Kanto Sentai Pokéranger ❯ Chapter 5 ( Chapter 5 )

Kanto Sentai Pokéranger

(a.k.a. Power Rangers: Pocket Monsters)

Usual disclaimers apply.  These characters do no belong to me.

Today was a beautiful day in the Kanto region.  The sun was shining, just warm enough, and not a cloud in the sky.  It was a perfect day to be outside, enjoying everything the world had to offer.  Of course, a lot of times, that doesn't stop people from…well, not being outside.

The five Power Rangers were busy outside the lab, but Max, however, was acting like a shut-in, buried in his research in the lab.  While the others were busy doing whatever, Max was tinkering with their powers, thinking of more ingenious ways to assist them in battle.  His latest "experiments" involved the Rangers' weapons, and the possibility of combining them to form a giant blaster.

"No?  Hmm…let's try this, then," Max said to himself.  Degenhart was standing to the side, watching the little one go to work.  He heard about what happened last night from May, after he came down to the command center and found Max asleep at his work station with a blanket over him (May later stated she came down to look for him and covered him herself).  And when they insisted Max get some sleep, he only came right back down to the lab (after very little food in his system) and went back to work.  Degenhart started to worry, but only about his health.  He was far too young to push himself like this.

However, his advances were starting to prove very beneficial to the Rangers.  As long as nothing caused the Rangers to suffer in battle, it was alright with him.

"Okay, I think I've got something now," Max declared.  "Whaddya think, Degenhart?"  Degenhart turned his attention to the display.  The middle screen in the upper row displayed all the Ranger weapons grouped together, while the surrounding screens had outlines of the Rangers and their weapon.  "I finally devised a stable formation in which all the weapons can combine to form a larger blaster!  Look here…"  Max typed in a few more commands, and as he called out the name of each weapon, they fell into formation.  "See…the CroHammer goes first…then the CombuScythe…and then the ScytherSickles…and then the TogeSpear, and finally, the Pikatana!"  The finished product looked like a modified crossbow, but there were numerous barrels brought on by the Sickles, the Hammer and the Spear.  "And all you have to do is pull the trigger and BANG!  No more of whatever demon Pandion sends our way!"

"Impressive work, Max," Degenhart said.  "Yes…I don't remember the weapons being able to be used like so in my time.  This will prove very useful to the Power Rangers."  He rubbed his chin.  "Although, I didn't know those are the names of the weapons."

"I didn't think we had any 'official' names for them," Max explained, "so I whipped up some on my own.  I think these sound better anyway.  Besides…these names sound better."

"The Rangers will be very pleased with your work, Max."

"I'm gonna go tell them right now!" He grabbed his communicator and triggered the teleport device.  "Don't wait up!"  Max disappeared in a pink flare of light.

* * * * *

Max appeared in a flash of rose-pink light a second later on the outskirts of the Oak compound, where he last heard Ash, May and Misty were.  Ash was sitting on a tree stump with Pikachu in his lap, while Misty and May teetered on the wooden fence, facing one another.  May looked more cool and confident, while Misty seemed ready to lose her balance at the slightest provocation.

With a shout, May sped forward on the wooden platform and jumped at Misty, her leg extended.  Misty dodged the attack by leaning back, and stepped back a few more paces to avoid a few more punches.  Misty countered with a huge right hook, but May easily avoided the attack, back flipping on the wooden fence, treating it like a balance beam.  By the time she stood upright again, she put a great deal of distance between her and Misty, one foot in front of the other, arms high and back, chest pushed out and up, and a smile on her face.

Misty grumbled.  She wished she could be a nimble as May was.  This sparring exercise was her idea anyway, and she began to wonder if this was just some way to one-up the water Pokémon adept.  After all, Misty was a better Pokémon trainer, and prettier.  As well as had a wonderful boyfriend, unlike May.  Whether she thought this was something bigger or not, she didn't think about.  At least not right now.  If she was going to put May in her place, she couldn't have her mind wandering every which way!

Misty got ready to go on the attack…when the sound of loud, blaring hip-hop suddenly assailed their ears.  And based on the heavy accent of the rapper, it originated from the Orange Islands.  Ash, Max and Pikachu snapped around in surprise, while May and Misty flailed wildly before falling on opposite sides of the fence they were standing.  They pulled themselves to their feet just as the source of the music made itself present.  It was a hunter green Cadillac Escalade, completely tricked out.  It was the source of the music, as the tens-of-thousands of watts blaring through the speakers would attest.  There was a silver Pokéball sigil painted on the hood, confirming along with the color that Brock was behind the wheel, with Tracey riding shotgun.  All four wheels had spinning rims on them.

Brock and Tracey got out of the SUV, and when the power was cut the silence was deafening.  Meanwhile, everyone else stared at the two like they had just grown three heads.

"What up, people?" Brock asked, nonchalantly.  He noticed the looks the others were giving them.  "What?"

"What is all this, Brock?" Ash asked, motioning to the new car Pokéranger Green was driving.

"The mark of a great Gym Leader, that's what!  Heh, it's motivation for success in the Pokémon world!"

While Brock wasn't defending the Pewter City gym full-time, he did go back every once in a while to hold a gym battle to defend the Boulder Badge.  Most of the time one of his older siblings would run it when he was journeying somewhere.  But this time, however, someone asked - nay, demanded - a battle with Brock Ballas himself.  The guy Brock did battle with was for a Boulder Badge, but as per tradition with a Pokémon battle, the loser forks over half of the money he or she has on their person to the winner.  In his victory, Brock earned himself more than $200,000.  But that wouldn't be the end of it.  After the battle, the sore loser came after one of Brock's little brothers, something that Brock would have no part of.  Poor little Phillip Ballas was scared half to death until Brock and Tracey beat the sore loser senseless, threw him out of the Gym, and helped themselves to his gratuitous bling in the process.  Brock called it "the price for crossing a Ballas."

"You know, I would've left him alone if he hadn't gone after my little brother," Brock explained.  He had five diamond-encrusted rings on his hands, three on the right hand and two on the left.

"Dude brought it on himself, I guess," Tracey said, removing his new platinum dog tags from within his shirt.  "I never saw Brock that mad before."  On his right wrist was an iced-out bracelet an inch wide, and on his left was a platinum and diamond Rolex.

Brock saw May about to open her mouth in protest, but he was quick to counteract her possible outrage.  "Now, now, there's no need to be hasty about all this," he explained.  He reached into his pocket and pulled out a long, black velvet case.  "Here, May, this is for you."  He moved behind her as quick as a shot, opened and discarded the case, only to retrieve the platinum chain with an iced-out butterfly hanging from it.  He draped it around May's neck and hooked the clasp.  The charm sat right in between her breasts.  She picked it up and looked it over.

"Oh, wow," she said, speechless.  "Thanks, Brock!"

Brock smiled.  "Don't mention it."

"Did you buy that yourself, Brock?" Misty asked.  Her arms were folded.

"Yep.  I got the receipt and everything."  He flashed said receipt, just to put everyone's minds at ease.  At least one piece didn't come as a result of punitive stealing.  "But enough unpleasantness.  What do you say we cruise back into Pewter and spend the day in the city?"  The others gave him skeptical looks.  "Come on, we've got nothing else planned, there's no need to be saving - and we can teleport to the scene of the emergency just in case - and besides, you two…" He pointed to Tracey and May.  "…haven't seen what Kanto has to offer.  It'll be fun!"

The other Rangers looked at one another, then back at Brock.  "Sure, I don't see why not," Ash answered.  He marched towards Brock's new ride, a smile on his face.  "Shotgun!"

Brock snagged him by the back of his collar.  "Eh-eh-eh-eh-eh!" he chided.

Ash looked at Brock in a very strange manner.  "What?"

"The lady gets to ride shotgun," he said, motioning to May.

"But…but…" Ash protested weakly.  He wanted to argue that when calling shotgun, you have to do so on your own accord.  You can't have someone call shotgun on your behalf; that was against the rules!  But by the time he could formulate a response, everyone had already piled into the car.

Grumbling, Ash sat himself in the back seat with Tracey and Misty.  As soon as everyone was buckled in, they were off.

* * * * *

"It took nearly four hours for you to get through a gym battle?" May asked Brock.  "Most I've seen last a half hour at most."  They were driving down the sparsely trafficked Route 1, through Viridian and eventually to Pewter. 

"True, the battle itself took about twenty minutes," Brock answered.  But after I got that guy's money, I…just went on a bit of a spree.  I've wanted a car like this for a while, and now that I had the money, I could get it.  It was adding all the add-ons at PCC that took up the most time."

"What's PCC?" Tracey asked.

"It means 'Pewter City Customs'.  They do all sorts of customizing for whatever car or bike you've got-for mine it was the new stereo system, 26" spinning rims, new paint job, and the DVD player and PS2 system in the back.  The monitors are in the backs of the headrests."

Ash and the others sitting in the back saw said monitors, but didn't feel like playing any PS2 games or watching any DVDs.  For one, they didn't know where Brock kept them.  Or if he had any, for that matter.

His demeanor turned grim.  "I just hope we don't get stopped like we did on the way back here-especially in Viridian.  You remember that, right Tracey?"

"I'd rather not," Tracey grumbled.  He looked at Ash and Misty.  "It was like we were getting pulled over as much as we were hitting traffic lights.  It was bad."

"Why were you guys getting pulled over all the time?" May asked innocently.

Brock took his eyes off the road to look May straight in the eye.  "Look at me," was all he said.  The car fell silent.

May didn't get it as quickly as everyone else.  "Is it…because you're…"

"Black.  Yeah.  It's especially bad in Viridian because whenever the police there have a black suspect - especially a young black male - the usual mentality is 'any black male will do'.  It's disgusting."  His hand tightened around the wheel, like he was revving it up.  "I swear it's like going back in time with the way those people think."

"It's not nearly as bad as it is in Pewter, right, Brock?" Ash asked.

"I'm Pewter's favorite son; I should hope not.  Besides, the people there are just a little more tolerant than in Viridian."  Eventually the group came to Pewter, right outside the Pewter City Gym.  "If you guys don't mind, I have to check in on the gym for a few minutes.  You guys can come in if you want."

Brock turned the car off and everyone disembarked from the car, and went inside the gym.

* * * * *

On the other side of the city, two ominous looking figures crept around, trying their best to not be noticed.  They passed through alleys, sticking to the shadows, avoiding any place where their identity might be discovered.  Oh, and to avoid being arrested by Pewter's finest.  That was the big thing.  If their white Team Rocket uniforms didn't give them away, her unmistakable long, crimson hair and his periwinkle blue hair would.

"We're almost to the Pokémon center," James said to his partner.  "It's only a few blocks away."

"Thank God," Jessie grumbled.  "These alleyways are all matters of disgusting."  She looked down by her feet.  "Of course we wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for you!  Remember this was all your bright idea, Meowth!"

"What can I say?" the talking, bipedal cat Pokémon said.  "I'm an alley cat at heart.  Besides, you guys were pretty clear that you didn't want to play dress up this time."

"Well, we do spend the better half of our budget on costumes," James added, "so I figured it would be better to save our money for gadgets and such.  Also, I've got just the thing to blow that Pokémon Center wide open.  And all those wonderful Pokémon will be all ours!"

Jessie laughed.  "Those poor saps will never know what hit them!"  Her laugh kept up for a few more paces until they emerged from the alleyways.  They crept around the back of the center, and when they knew they were alone, James taped a few grenades to the back wall with duct tape.  Once they were secure, they pulled the pins and ran like hell until they exploded.  The alarms went off, suddenly throwing their plans off.  They dashed through the smoking rubble with empty sacks in hand.

* * * * *

The Gym was not far from the Pokémon Center, so the blast that rocked said center could be heard and felt anywhere in the Gym.  The five Rangers were on their way out when the explosion hit, and their plans-to-be had to be put on hold for the moment.

It didn't take a genius to figure out it was Team Rocket behind the attack.  Ash knew them all too well.  He and his friends ran as fast as their bodies could take them, finding the Pokémon Center in disarray.  Cops were starting to arrive on the scene, while befuddled trainers stood around in shock at their stolen Pokémon.

"I just know Team Rocket is behind this!" Ash grumbled, his fist shaking.  Without thinking - as battles with Team Rocket were a day-to-day experience for the Pallet-born master - he charged past the crowd, his friends at his heels, right into the main lobby of the center.  And sure enough, there, standing on the counter, were Jessie and James, both laughing evilly.

"Prepare for trouble in the town of rocks!" Jessie started.

"And make it double, you're all sitting ducks!" James added.

"To protect the world from devastation…"

"To unite all peoples within our nation…"

"To denounce the evils of truth and love…"

"To extend our reach to the stars above…"

"Jessie!"

"James…!"

"Team Rocket, blast off at the speed of light!"

"Surrender now, or prepare to fight, fight, fight!"

Meowth jumped up from behind the counter and landed in front of Jessie and James.  "Meowth!  That's right!"

"Team Rocket!" Ash, Brock, Misty, May and Tracey shouted.

"Gee, what a big surprise," Ash said sarcastically.

"Hello, yourself," Jessie retorted.  "Sorry we can't stay and chat, but we've got a ton of Pokémon in our grasp and we're fixing to haul ass outta here!"

"And we only have to make one trip!" James added, holding out a hand with his index finger extended.

"Yeah, twerp, it's not like we're hauling your mama around!"  The members of Team Rocket laughed wildly at Meowth's joke.  Especially after Ash nearly had an aneurism.

"What did you say about my mother?!" he roared.  Brock and Tracey had to restrain their leader as they continued to laugh at him.  James tossed a flash grenade their way.  It would've slammed right into the trio of Brock, Ash and Tracey had it not been for May's quick thinking.  She suddenly appeared right in front of the three and jumped backward, kicking the grenade with the bridge of her foot, sending it flying towards the main entrance of the Pokémon Center.  It went off with a great explosion and a blinding flash of light.  The people outside backed away from the center at the explosion, while the flash of light covered Team Rocket's escape.

Brock and Tracey let go of Ash and looked around.  The doors and windows had debris piled in front of them, making them inaccessible.  No one could get in or out.

"We've got to stop them!" May said.

"No problem," Tracey said.  "We'll use our Pokémon and-"

"Oh no," Ash protested.  "No Pokémon today.  There's only one way to deal with Team Rocket now."

"Um, is this about that mom insult, Ash?" Brock asked.  "Because I assure you, your mother is not-"

"Enough!" Ash's hand found his left hip, and the Pokémorpher hanging off it.  "We know what we have to do.  We have to make sure these two never come back here.  They want to scare people?  Fine.  We have scare tactics of our own at our disposal.  They'll be sorry they ever crossed the Power Rangers."  The others took up ready stances in formation behind him.  There was no talking him out of it.

Ash snapped the Morpher off his hip and held it out to his side.  "Ready?"

The others mimicked the motion.  "Ready!"

They went through the motions as they shouted the morphing phrase.  "POKÉRANGER!  GO!"

* * * * *

Jessie and James piled their now full sacks into the basket of their hot-air balloon.

"This is going absolutely swimmingly!" James said.  "Those twerps had no idea what hit them, and they're still probably trying to figure out what it was they got hit with!"

"A smash-and-grab routine, a clean getaway, and - coming soon - a big, fat bonus from the boss!" Jessie sang.  "Nothing can ruin this moment!"

This was their mindset before hearing five strange voices…

"AYAAH!"

"HYAAH!"

"EEYAH!"

"YAAHH!"

"KYAAH!"

…and being confronted by five very strange people in color-swapped costumes.  What are they supposed to be, superheroes?

The five had managed high-flying jumps and flips over their heads before landing in between themselves and the hole they blew in the back wall of the center.

"What the?!" Meowth shouted.  "Who are these guys?"

"We're here to put a stop to your evil deeds!" the one in white shouted.  "I'm Pokéranger White!"

"You've staged your last Pokémon heist!" the green one chimed in.  "Behold!  Pokéranger Green!"

"You're not leaving here with those Pokémon!" the blue one - obviously a woman - said.  "I am Pokéranger Blue!"

"We are the bane of your existence!" said the yellow guy.  "Say hello to Pokéranger Yellow!"

"We are defenders of peace throughout the planet!" the girl in the red suit said.  "Last but not least, Pokéranger Red!"

Then they all spoke as one.  "Together we are…POWER RANGERS!"

Jessie, James and Meowth stood there, slack jawed and dumbfounded.  They were completely silent for a few moments before breaking out in such raucous laughter that they all fell over.

The Rangers slumped themselves, sweatdrops hanging off their helmets.  "You find something funny, Team Rocket?" Pokéranger White shouted.

"As a matter of fact…" Jessie tried to answer, but she was too busy laughing.  "…yes!"  Eventually she got her composure, as did the other members of Team Rocket.  "This is some sort of joke, right?  You really expect the great Team Rocket to be defeated so easily?"

Pokéranger Green's head tilted to the side.  "'The great Team Rocket'?  You've been defeated pretty easily in the past," he said.

"But not by clowns like yourselves!"  She threw her Pokéballs at the Rangers.  "Seviper!  Dustox!  I choose you!"

James was quick to follow.  "Cacnea!  Victreebel!  You go, too!"

All at once, Team Rocket's Pokémon came out.  Seviper, the big, black poisonous snake; Dustox, the highly toxic butterfly; Cacnea, the walking cactus with huge arms; and Victreebel, the oddly shaped tube-like Pokémon with huge leafs for arms and a vine for a tail.  Meowth was happy to take the lead and land right in front of them all, his sharp claws brandished and a grin on his face.

"I'm gonna shred right through those pretty little costumes of yours!" Meowth said.

"You would turn your Pokémon on people without Pokémon of their own?" Pokéranger Red asked.  "That's uncalled for!"

"You got it, sister!" Jessie shouted.  "And don't expect them to show any mercy!"

"Rangers!  Lock and load!" Pokéranger White shouted.  Simultaneously, the Rangers grabbed their Ranger Blasters, spun them around, cocked them and took aim with all the efficiency of a marine corp. drill team.

"And you call us the bad guys!" James shouted.  "Shooting Pokémon?  What is wrong with you?"  He suddenly calmed down.  "Well, besides the obvious…"

"If you plan to use your Pokémon to forward your evil schemes, then they too must be treated no differently than you!" Pokéranger White explained.  "Open fire!"  Each Ranger took one shot.  Each shot exploded on impact with a Pokémon.  Each Pokémon was sent flying back at their trainers and sent them crashing into the balloon's basket.  Once they recovered, they wasted no time in firing up the engine and getting out of there.

"Why are they just letting us get away?" James asked.

"I have no idea," Jessie answered.  They looked back in their basket.  The five Pokémon they had were all out of it.  "Let's just cut our losses and try again tomorrow."

* * * * *

They didn't know that as they were making their escape, information was being streamed into their helmets, giving them the specs on how they could combine their weapons to form a powerful super blaster.

"Did you get all that?" Max's voice rang out through the communicator.  "One pull of the trigger will put Team Rocket out for good!"

"Thanks, Max," Ash said.  "We'll give it a try right now."  The connection closed, and Ash addressed the other Rangers.  They simultaneously summoned their weapons.  "Alright guys, let's put them together and put a stop to Team Rocket!"

"Right!" they answered.  Each weapon gave off a color-specific light.

"CroHammer!" Brock shouted.  The hammer floated in front of them, handle facing outward and the main striking surface facing down.  A trigger appeared a little below where the metal met the hilt

"CombuScythe!" May shouted, folding her scythe.  The blade from point to hilt was half as long as the handle, which made things most convenient.  The handle folded in half, and the blade folded on top of it, looking somewhat like a bow with a big, red string.  It went on the hammer's grip, making it look like a huge crossbow.

"ScytherSickles!" Tracey was next.  He did some fancy twirling moves with his kamas before they were set in place, blades facing in and downward, the handles forming two new barrels for the new weapon.

"TogeSpear!" Misty was next to add a weapon.  Like May's scythe, her weapon too broke down.  The point would be set right in between Tracey's kamas, while the rest of the spear snapped in half and was set in place, one section between the main barrel and the sub barrel.  They formed two new barrels, giving it a five-barrel blast.

But it wasn't complete yet.  "Pikatana!" After spinning his sword about, all Ash needed to do was set it blade up right on top of the main barrel, pointing outward.  Ash took the new weapon in his hands as the others took their places around him-May and Misty kneeling to his left and right respectively, Tracey on his left and Brock on his right.  The transformation took but a second from inception to completion.

"MASTER BLASTER!" they all shouted, christening the new weapon.

They couldn't see their faces, but the Rangers knew Team Rocket was panicking up there in their balloon.  They knew their time was up.  And Ash wasn't about to grant them a second's more quarter.

"Ready!" Misty and May called.

"Aim…!" Brock and Tracey added.

"Fire!" Ash shouted as he pulled the trigger.  A large wave of white energy that flashed red, yellow, green and blue flew out of the five barrels, and flew at Team Rocket's balloon like a meteor.  The blast scored a direct hit, one that destroyed the balloon and sent the passengers of the balloon flying.

"Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off agaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain!" they shouted as they careened over the horizon.

"Yeah!" Ash shouted.  "That's what you get when you cross the Power Rangers!"

* * * * *

The incident was all over the news.  When the cops and a handful of victims finally got to where Team Rocket was trying to escape, they had already been defeated and the Power Rangers disassembled the Master Blaster.  They simply told the people they had been saved thanks to the Power Rangers, flashed a heroic pose and teleported for parts unknown.

Ash, Brock, Misty, Tracey and May sat in a local diner eating dinner.  As they ate, the few TVs in the corner and against the back wall were all tuned to the news stations, each one providing their reports on the appearance of "five strange, costumed, so-called 'superheroes'" who put a stop to Team Rocket's raid of the Pokémon center.  Included were the reactions of locals who happened to see them or at least heard rumors about them.  Some were of praise, mostly from trainers their age.  Others were merely shock, mystification, and even a few harsh beratings…mostly from older and more scruffy looking citizens.

"Unappreciative slobs," Ash grumbled as he finished off the last of his soda.  "A thank you would be nice."  Again, they spoke in low tones to keep from being found out.  There wasn't anyone sitting in any of the surrounding booths, but one could never be too careful.

"Guess some people are afraid of anything new," Brock said despondently.

"But at least some people appreciated our work," Misty protested.

"I dunno, some of those guys were rude even though they were saying nice stuff about us," Tracey added.  "Especially about the Blue and Red Rangers; did you see that one dude in the background?  This one guy in the wife-beater was doing this…" And Tracey made a peace sign with his right hand and put it against his mouth, his lips in between his fingers, and flicked his tongue rapidly up and down.  "Did you see that?"

Misty gave Tracey a blank look.  "So?" she asked.  "What's that mean?"  May leaned over and whispered its meaning into her ear.  Her face turned bright red.  "Ewww!" she shouted.  "That's disgusting!"

"Well, we can't expect everyone to just factor the Power Rangers into their lives," said May.  "I mean, I'm still adjusting to all this; I don't know about you guys."

"It is a big adjustment, I'll admit," Tracey said.  "But we have to get by.  Hard to believe that transforming into superheroes and fighting hordes of demonic minions is going to be considered 'normal' for us."

A waitress came by with the check.  Brock looked at it and smirked.  He reached into this wallet and pulled out a $100 bill.  "Here you go, darling," he said with a sweet smile.  "Keep the change."  He turned back to his friends, who were surprised at his sudden display of generosity.  Apparently that was mostly cash left over from the earlier gym battle.  "Well, I'm tired of sitting around.  The night is young.  What say we go out on the town?"

"That sounds like a great idea," Ash said.  "Come on, let's go!"

"Sure, just let me use the bathroom first," Tracey said as they stood up.  The others exited the diner and waited outside for the Yellow Ranger.  As Tracey entered the bathroom, he was nearly blinded by a flash of pink light.  When he regained his bearings, he looked for the source of the light.  He was pretty sure what it was, but he wanted to be sure.

"What the-Max?" he asked.

"Hey, Tracey!" Max said.  "So, how'd it go?  Your faces are all over the news."

"Yeah…so I've heard…" Tracey answered.  This certainly was awkward.  "So, uh…what's up?"

"I figured you guys would be celebrating after wasting Team Rocket the way you did, so I figured I wanted to be part of the festivities, and here I am!"

"Well…we're about to go into the city now, so…"

Max for the most ignored Tracey's last statement and pushed past him to find the others.  "Yeah!  I can't wait to see my sister!  I haven't seen her all day!"

"No, wait!  Max!" Tracey ran after him and tried to stop him from getting to May first.  While Max was a friend of his, Brock was a better friend.  And since it was blatantly obvious that he had the hots for May, he wanted to show his friend his support in the matter.  And if it meant keeping her little brother from ruining the night for both of them - God only knows what their parents are like, and whether or not they'll approve of their daughter dating a non-white man - then he knew what to do.  "Max, get back here!  We're gonna be doing stuff you're too young for!  Is-isn't it past your bedtime?!"

TO BE CONTINUED……………