Pokemon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction / Sonic Series Fan Fiction ❯ Mewtwo Takes Tracy to Court ❯ Mewtwo Takes Tracy to Court ( Chapter 1 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Mewtwo Takes Tracy to Court!

Disclaimer: I don't own pokémon in any way, okay? Did you hear me out? I DON'T OWN THEM! Plus I don't own anything from Beavis and Butthead, Ed, Edd, n Eddy, Space Ghost, Mad TV, Sonic the Hedgehog, ect.

Open to U.D. as always, only this time...

Mewtwo: (Watching The Apprentice, and laughs) It's so funny when Trump fires them!
Lugia: (Strolls in) Well, hey there, Mewster.
Mewtwo: Lugia, since when have you called me 'Mewster'?
Lugia: Umm...this is my frist time.
Mewtwo: I see... So, how's things going with your girlfriend?
Lugia: Please, Mewtwo. Not today. I know Celebi and I are...well, you know...
Mewtwo: Lovey-dovey sweetie pies? (Snickers immaturally...)
Lugia: Yeah, that's it.
Mewtwo: It's hot here...I need a soda. (Leaves to go to the Pokémart)
Lugia: ...Where's Mew?
Mewtwo: How the hell should I know?
Lugia: ...Whatever, man...

At the Pokémart...

Mewtwo: (Walks in) YO, JOEY!!!
Joey: (Pops up from behind the counter) Ah, g-r-r-reetings, chum!
Mewtwo: Yeah, cut the small talk. Got any Pepsi?
Joey: Ah, yes, we do! (Hands Mewtwo a 20oz)
Mewtwo: (Puts 50 zenny on the counter) 50 zen, take it or leave it.
Joey: Do I have a choice? (Rings him up) Thanks!

Mewtwo leaves the Pokémart. Then, from out of nowhere...Mewtwo sees an oncoming car, and stops it with his psy powers.

Mewtwo: Stupid car driving fools...

But then, the car rolls onto Mewtwo's left foot. A small crunch is heard.

Mewtwo: YOUCH!!! ALL RIGHT! WHO'S THE WISE GUY WHO BROKE MY FOOT?!

Tracy then steps out of the car.

Tracy: Oh, hi, Mewtwo. (Notices what happened) Opps! Sorry, man.
Mewtwo: Sorry? SORRY?!? I'M SUING YOU FOR BREAKING MY FOOT, YOU DIMWIT!
Tracy: Uhhhhh, lawsuit?
Mewtwo: Yeah, Tracy. You know, the whole thing where I sue you, then I get money, and your ass goes to jail?
Tracy: And?
Mewtwo: And you get gang-probed by some guy named Butch?
Tracy: And?
Mewtwo: ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME, YOU PENCIL-NECKED JACKOFF?!
Tracy: ...Huh?
Mewtwo: ...I'M SUING YOU!
Tracy: How much then, hmm?
Lugia: (From out of nowhere) How about ten million dollars?
Mewtwo: I got a better idea...fifty-five BILLION dollars!
Lugia: Oooooh, good one!
Tracy: Eh, I got a good lawyer. I'll beat you easily!
Mewtwo: Oh really?

Mewtwo and Lugia go to Attorney at Law...JOE ADLER?!?

Mewtwo: So, anyways, Tracy ran over my foot.
Joe Adler: Gentlemen, what we have here is a clear case of negligence. We are going to sue Cerulean City. We are going to sue Kanto. We are going to sue Car Dealership. And we are going to sue Tracy Sketchit.
Lugia: Cool!

So, at the courthouse the following day...

Baliff: All rise, the honorable Judge Jirachi.
Jirachi: 'Honorable'...I like that! Be seated. The case of... (Notices Joe Adler) Security, remove Joe.

Security does so.

Mewtwo: Why'd you do that?!
Jirachi: He's a crook. You don't need that, what you need is...

Latios and Latias stand at the doors of the courthouse.

Latios: Prepare for trouble.
Latias: It will be doubled.
Jirachi: Don't even start that, you clowns!
Celebi: How stupid can they get, Lugia?
Lugia: Well, they'll do anything for 50 bucks.
Celebi: And attention.
Latios/Latias: We're are Latios and Latias, Attor...uhh, Attorn...um...WE'RE LAWYERS!! HUZZAH!
Jirachi: Ignorant buffons...
Lugia: (Thoughts) (This is going to be great!)
Mewtwo: (Thoughts) (God, this is not going to end well.)

Tracy's up at the stand, and the baliff has a gun pointed at Tracy's head.

Baliff: You swear to tell the truth, and so forth?
Tracy: Of course!
Baliff: (Loads a bullet into the gun) (Ambient clicking sound)
Tracy: Uh, I do.
Jirachi: (Nods)
Latias: Now then, tell us, in your own words...
Tracy: (Speaks a lot of japanese)
Jirachi: Try syllables, Tracy. Do that again, and I promise, you'll be dead..
Tracy: Ok, ok! I'll be good. It all started yesterday.

(Wavy screen transition)

Scenery of flowers and a smiling sun.

Tracy: I was driving my car.

A nice white car strolls by.

Tracy: Then, out of nowhere...

A dark purple Mewtwo runs out with a shotgun.

Tracy: This Mewtwo wanted to kill me, so I dodged him. But then...

The Mewtwo jumps at Tracy, and gets his foot crushed by the car.

Tracy: He deliberately just stuck his foot out in front of me!
Lugia: Oh, please!

(POP! Scene ends)

Lugia: Is that the truth? (Blows raspberry)
The whole courtroom: (Laughs)
Celebi: Love him or hate him, he's got a great sense of humor.
Jirachi: SILENCE!!

Everyone shuts up from Jirachi's command.

Mewtwo: (Thoughts) (My friends are freaks.)
Baliff: (Thoughts) (And I thought today was going to be different!)
Tails: (In the jury) (Thoughts) (What am I doing here?!)
Jirachi: Ok, Mewtwo. Come to the stand, and let's get this over with.

Mewtwo does so.

Latios: Ok, Mewtwo. What happened?
Mewtwo: My foot got broke.
Latios: How?
Mewtwo: Tracy.
Latios: Why?
Mewtwo: He's a stone-cold scrotum-licker.
Latios: No further questions.

Latias approaches.

Latias: Exactly how did this happen?
Mewtwo: Well, it's like this.

(Wavy scene transition)

Mewtwo: I was walking down the street. (Mewtwo walks with afro-puffed hair.) When all of the sudden...

Tracy drives ferociously fast down the street.

Tracy: DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE!!!!!!!!
Mewtwo: OH, MY GOD!!! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!
Celebi: Wait a minute!

(POP! Scene ends)

Celebi: Didn't you have a shotgun?
Mewtwo: Oh, yeah!

(Same scene, but now, Mewtwo holds a shotgun.)

Tracy: DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE!!!!!!!!

Mewtwo shoots the car, but to no avail.

Mewtwo: Then, the unthinkable happened.

(Squish!)

Mewtwo: Ow, hey! My foot!
Lugia: Now, hold on, Two!

(POP! Scene ends)

Lugia: Afro hair? Shotguns? PEPSI?! What's the problem here?!
Mewtwo: Stop dissin' my story!
Jirachi: JUST TELL THE DAMN STORY!!!
Mewtwo: (Eyes are wide now...) ...A-anyway...

(Same scene continues)

Tracy: Blah blah blah! Blah! Blah blah! (Translation: Eh, I got a good lawyer. I'll beat you easily!)
Celebi: Hoona igna chowa neeha!
Lugia: Hoona igna chowa neeha!
Mewtwo: I'M SUING YOU!!!
Latias: WAIT!!!

(POP! Scene ends)

Latias: Stop ripping off Ed, Edd, n Eddy and Space Ghost, Mewtwo!
Mewtwo: IT'S MY STORY!!! I'LL TELL IT THE WAY I WANT TO!
Tails: I like it!
Jirachi: Mr. Tails?
Tails: Yes, strange-looking-creature-from-another-dimension?
Jirachi: It's Jirachi. Why is your friends here?
Tails: They all got called for jury duty!
Sonic: Yep, and it's pretty damn cool!
Rouge: I had opera tickets, but I doubt I'll be able to see it with the way this case is going...
Knuckles: Eh, who cares? I like where this is going!
Mewtwo: (Stopping them) AS I WAS SAYING...

(Wavy scene transition)

Mewtwo runs around with a big censor bar around his fold area.

Mewtwo: (Singing off-key) DOMO ARIGATO, MR. ROBOTO!
Mew: MEWTWO! SHUT UP!!

(Cut back to Jirachi)

Jirachi: Dammit, Mewtwo! Is this story even going anywhere?!
Mewtwo: Yes! Eventually, I became mayor of Petalburg!
Jirachi: Mewtwo...you're about the stupidest person in this whole court!
Chris: Hi, everyone!
Jirachi: I stand corrected...
Chris: (To Tails) I got my own chao now!
Tails: Whoop-de-doo! I don't care.
Jirachi: Ok, I'm gonna ask the jury to please go in the backroom, make a verdict, so we can get out of here.

10 minutes later...

Jirachi: Mr. Foreman...
Knuckles: It's Knuckles.
Jirachi: Whatever. Has the jury reached a verdict?
Knuckles: Actually...we were watching The Apprentice just now...
Jirachi: God...ok, just take little pieces of paper, and say either 'GUILTY' or 'NOT GUILTY', then hand them to me. We'll decide Tracy's fate, a la Survivor.

10 hours later...

Jirachi: Ok, hand them to me.

The baliff hands a basket to Jirachi.

Jirachi: (Starts reading) 'Guilty'. 'Guilty'. 'All the world's jewels will be mine!' (Jirachi stares right at Rouge)
Rouge: True to that!
Jirachi: (Continues) 'Guilty'. 'My chao's name is Barney.'
Chris: I LOVE MY CHAO!
Jirachi: Ooook... (Reads on...) 'Guilty'. 'I love you, Cream...'
Tails: Well, it's true!
Cream: Forget this! (Tackles Tails, and they start making out)
Amy Rose: God! Like, take it outside!
Jirachi: Ok, this is going absolutely nowhere. So, Tracy, I sentence you to pay Mewtwo with a 20oz bottle of Pepsi.
Tracy: NO!
Jirachi: Ok, now I sentence you to death! Bee-otch! (Whips out a pistol and shots Tracy in the head six times.)
Tails: Cool!
Cream: LOVE ME! (Pulls Tails back)
The whole courtroom: (Watches Tails and Cream)
Chris: (Singing out loud) MY CHAO! MY CHAO! HIS NAME IS BARNEY!
Jirachi: All right, I've had enough! (Dails 1-900-HELP-ME!!!)

Two men in white coats carry Chris off.

Chris: When I grow up, I WANNA BE A CHAOOOOO!!!

Later, at U.D.

Mewtwo: Boy, uh, this was a strange day.
Lugia: You said it.
Mewtwo: It was kinda cute to watch that fox and rabbit make love in the court, though...
Lugia: Yeah. Heh heh, they looked so funny...
Mew: HELLO!
Mewtwo: Mew! Where'd you come from?
Mew: Who cares!
Mewtwo: Ok, well, what's up?
Mew: You are.
Mewtwo: You already knew that!
Mew: So? Let's kiss! (They start making out)
Lugia: I liked Tails and Cream better than this... (Leaves)

Meanwhile, back at Sky Pillar...

Latios: Do you think that today was weird?
Latias: Damn right...
Latios: WE SHOULD DO THIS MORE OFTEN, GIRL!!
Latias: ...Don't scream. Your voice hurts my ears...
Latios: ...I aim to please, baby! ^__^
Latias: ...Latios...did you take your medicine?

END??