Pokemon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction ❯ Ass's Pokemon Adventure Crap ❯ The Horror!! Cock, the Rock Pokemon Gym Leader ( Chapter 4 )

Ass, Mushy, and Peek-At-You reach the Rock Pokemon Gym. They stand outside the door staring at the building.

Ass: With Fuckerbee and Peek-At-You on my side I know I can win.

Mushy: This is your second time battling Pokemon, how are you so sure you can win? I mean you barely beat that Fuckerbee, if it had been a level two Pokemon you would have lost, you don't even know your own Pokemon's attacks for crying out loud. The whole time Peek-At-You was fighting all you did was say stuff like "You can do it, Peek-At-You" and "Peek-At-You, do you think my hair looks ok?"

Ass: Well it was windy out, I was really worried about my hair.

Mushy: That's not the point, the point is, you don't know shit about training Pokemon. Then again, neither do I so we're a perfect pair. A pair that could never win against a gym leader. (Mushy isn't a real gym leader.)

Ass: Well, maybe you can't but I can.

Mushy: How?

Ass: One, I am the star of this here show and two, Peek-At-You is the most famous Pokemon and can never be beaten.

Mushy: I could beat him.

Ass: How, you don't know how to fight?!

Mushy: I mean I can beat him with my Crapoo, the starfish Pokemon.

Ass: Ha, fool, Crapoo is a water Pokemon according to this here Pokedex, and, according to this Pokedex, water Pokemon are weaker than electric Pokemon, which the Pokedex says Peek-At-You is.

Mushy: So, if I beat you, it'll show how much you suck.

Ass: You arrogant bitch, Peek-At-You teach her a lesson.

Peek-At-You: Pikachu!

Ass: What do you mean "No!"?

Peek-At-You: Chu Pi Chu Ka Ka. (Translation: She saved my life which means I can't battle her.)

Ass: You stupid yellow rat, I hate you!

Peek-At-You turns and starts to walk away.

Ass: Wait! I'm sorry, I don't hate you. I just think you're stupid.

Peek-At-You turns and smiles.

Peek-At-You: Piiiiii! (Translation: And I think you're a moron, I was just going over to the water fountain to get a drink of water you dumbass!)

Ass: Ok, since Peek-At-You won't fight, than you're up Fuckerbee.

Ass "throws" the Pokeball to the ground, Fuckerbee comes out and flies away.

Ass: Come back here you piece of shit, I own you.

He jumps up and down for a while (ten seconds) before he gets tired and falls to the ground. Mushy helps him back to his feet.

Mushy: Let's just forget the battle. Go face the Gym Leader with Peek-At-You, lose, and meet me out here, together we can search for more Pokemon to swipe.

Ass: You're right, screw that damn insect. Peek-At-You let's go!

Ass and Peek-At-You go into the gym, Mushy brings out Dieduck and uses it as a seat. When Ass enters the gym, he lets out a scream of terror. It was ugly, it was hideous, it was Cock, the Rock Pokemon Gym Leader.

Cock: Hello, there, I'm Cock, I will be your opponent.

Ass: Can I have a blindfold, please?

Cock: You know you are not the first person to ask me that. In fact everyone who faces me claims they need a blindfold.

Ass (Looking away): So do you have one?

Peek-At-You (Covering it's eyes with it's claws): Pika! (Translation: Oh, God the horror, the horror!)

Cock: What did he say?

Ass: Nothing important, Peek-At-You will need a blindfold, too.
Cock: But Peek-At-You needs to see the Pokemon he's going to face.

Ass: You mean you're not a Pokemon? (Ass is still looking away.)

Cock: Well you know my mom did sleep with that Geocrud one time, but she assured me that it wasn't my father, but now I wonder.

Ass: Can I please have a blindfold?

Cock: There's one right behind you.

Ass opens his eyes and spots the blindfold hanging from a wall. He grabs it.

Ass: Ok let's battle! Peek-At-You, GO!

Peek-At-You jumps in front of Ass and enters its fighting position, it's eyes are still closed. Cock sends out Geocrud and goes into another room.

Ass: Where are you going?

Cock: Everybody who comes here always requests that I battle them in another room, so I set up this room, it has a TV and a microphone which allows me to watch the battle and bark orders.

Ass: That's great, I won't be needing this blindfold after all.

Cock: Funny, that's what everybody says after I mention this room.

Cock enters the room and closes the door.

Cock (On speaker): Since you're the challenger, you go first.

Ass: Alright, then. Peek-At-You, do something!

Peek-At-You uses a thunder attack, it has no effect on Geocrud.

Cock: Geocrud, use your Rock Blow attack!

Geocrud throws rocks at Peek-At-You. Peek-At-You gets hit by five rocks.

Cock: A piece of advice, don't use an electric attack on a rock Pokemon.

Ass: You can't tell me what to do. Peek-At-You use an electric attack!

Peek-At-You repeats the same move, Geocrud is not affected by it. Again Geocrud throws rocks at Peek-At-You and again Peek-At-You is hit five times. Ass tells Peek-At-You to use an electric attack again, Peek-At-You repeats the attack and this time magically defeats Geocrud.

Ass: Hooray! I win! I win!

Cock: Don't get cocky, you haven't won yet, I still have Bongix.

Cock opens the door to his room and throws out a Pokeball.

Cock: Go Bongix.

Bongix: Bongix Bongix! (Translation: Kill me! Kill me!)

Peek-At-You: Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ka? (Translation: Why?)

Bongix: Bong. (Translation: Haven't you seen my master? Hell couldn't possibly be worse than seeing that guy's face everyday.)

Peek-At-You: Pika pika pika chu? (Translation: So you are going to let me win?)

Bongix: Booooooooooooooooooooong! (Translation: Yes!)

Ass: Peek-At-You, beat him!

Peek-At-You uses an electric attack, it hits Bongix, Bongix pretends to faint, and hits the ground.

Cock: I don't know why I even keep this Pokemon, he doesn't even try, one hit from any Pokemon and it's a KO.

Ass: Hey, you suck almost as bad as I do, why don't you join me and my friend, we can all suck together.

Cock: Will we meet any of those identical, inbred Nurse Boys on the way?

Ass: You beat your ass we will.

Cock: Alright I'm in.

He comes out of his room.

Ass: Wait! D o you have a mask you can wear?

Cock: Actually, I do. Hold on, I'll put it on, I'm a real lady killer in the mask, it's a good thing you reminded me of it.Ass: So where's my badge?

Cock: Right here.

Cock flips Ass the badge. Ass tries to catch it but misses. He picks it off the ground and pins it on his shirt.

Ass: I got a Pokemon Gym badge.

He spins around and holds the pin out in front of him. (It's still pinned to his shirt.)

Cock: What are you doing?

Ass is still looking like an idiot, Cock has his mask on and is all packed and ready.

Ass: Well, it is an improvement. (To himself: At least I can stand to look at him now.)

Cock walks out the door with Ass, Mushy is there to greet them. She screams when she sees Cock.

Mushy: Is that your real face?

Cock: No, it's a mask!

Mushy: Well take it off!

Ass covers her mouth.

Ass: Stifle yourself, you don't want to see what's underneath, it's worse than the mask.

Mushy: Oh, so is he joining us or something?

Ass: He sure is, he sucks as much as me and you.

Ass, Mushy, Cock, and Peek-At-You walk down the road together, the sun sets, and the episode is over. On the next episode, Cream Pocket faces off with Ass and Peek-At-You.