Pokemon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction ❯ Bertha Or Something ❯ Bertha Or Something ( One-Shot )

Disclaimer: WHY WOULD I OWN PokèMoN!?! I LIVE WITH MY PARENTS!!! Clears throat Oh, and I don't own the Slim Shady song, either! Eminem does! Thank You.

Author's Note: This is a take-off of my friend, Short Rochester's, fic, Bob or whatever. We are combining both in our next fic, to be named later. Uhhhh… that's it I guess… READ AND REVIEW… OR ELSE!!!!

Bertha Or Something

By Bella York

One interesting morning, the twerps and twerp-et were… What else, but lost in some forest. They got directions from an eccentrically dressed old woman.

Now at first, you might think that that was kinda rude, but then you have probably never met this old woman. She was wearing an old, tattered, hot pink bathrobe, an extremely oversized tea cozy with two holes in it for pants, and a navy blue hat that said TORTILLA CHIPS in bright red letters. Yeah.

So, with huge sweatdrops weighing down their heads, they quickly asked for directions. Obviously, they didn't know that she had given them directions to a town WAY out of their way.

After going to the town, they decided to stop at the PokèMoN Center- In a voice LOADED with sarcasm Really? Wow! Normal voice- and heal their PokèMoN. After Misty pulled Brock away from the Nurse Joy, he "mysteriously" disappeared.

Misty went on to get lost in the town. Ash however, decided to go back to the old woman's house and ask if there were any good restaurants in the town.

When he got there, he was suddenly forced inside the old lady's house, by the old lady! When let go, he asked, "Why did you just kidnap me?"

"Shhh! The portable awaits!" She replied

"Uh, don't you mean portal?"

"The princess, the princess! I am Earwig, the princess!"

The old lady unsuccessfully tried to make a gag out of a tennis ball. When that didn't work, she put her ear to the ground, as if listening for something.

Ash tried to use this opportunity to escape, but as soon as he left his chair she got up and said, "Quickly! The Weedle's offspring are nearing!"

"Uhh… What?" Ash asked, getting scareder.

"Drop it!" The old lady suddenly said, as if talking to a dog, "DROP THE BALL, BOY!"

"Uh, I'm not holding anything…and I didn't catch your name"

"I am whatever you say I am if I wasn't, then why would kangaroo say I am?" The old lady said, breaking into song.

"Who do they say you are, then?" Asked Ash, really scared now.

"They say I am a crazy old hag with a leaky faucet, so I called a plumber, that means I must be Bertha!" She said triumphantly.

" I think I have to leave now, Bertha." Ash said, backing towards the door.

"NOOOO!" Bertha said, diving and landing in front of the door. "Tea and crumpets FIRST!!!"

"Um, I guess I am hungry…" Inside Ash's thoughts I'm calling the Officer Jenny as soon as I get out of here!

"Yes Kami-son, I can read your thoughts!" The old lady said

"Uhhhh… that's not what I was thinking" Ash was really really scared now.

"Shut up twisted apple pants!" "AM NOT!" "ARE TOO!"

"What was that!?!" Ash asked in a small voice.

" Oh, no worries dear, that's just my other half," Bertha stated. Then she whispered, "She's possessed by a demon." She said it like she was talking about a kindergartner with a learning disability.

"AM NOT!" ARE TOO!" "Ok, but you learn NOVELTIES!" " Hey, you promised not to tell!" The old lady started to pout, and Ash took the opportunity to run far away, and made a mental note: To NEVER go back!

The End