Pokemon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction ❯ Bob or whatever ❯ Bob or whatever ( One-Shot )

Disclaimer: Dis…Claimer. You figure it out. Yay! I own Bob! Now, that's 7, no 9 characters all for me! Eee-hee-hee! Takes Bilbo's ring and disappears

Author's note: This was incredibly fun to write! ^__^ I made it all up! Well,… except for the fact that it's a PokèMoN fic… sweatdrops…

Bob or whatever

While traveling through whatever town for some badge or other, the Ashholes get lost and see a cabin. An old woman gives them directions to town. They thank her and leave. When they FINALLY reach town they go straight to the PokèMoN Center. After Satan's Offspring drags the pervert away from the Nurse joy and the PokèMoN are healed they stay the night. The next morning they forget to ask the Joy for directions and get lost on their way to the gym. They stop at a house to ask, when some guy pops out of a bush and kidnaps Brock. A man comes out of the house. He looks like…well; he looks like a maniac.

"Drop the tulip of Marsh!" he yelled.

"What the heck?!" said the kidnapper, "Crap! I know you! You're that old crazy guy!"

"Old crazy guy? Who?"

"Who ARE you?"

"Me? I don't have a name. I am who people say I am. If I am who people say I am that must mean I'm Bob. People say I'm nutsy-cuckoo."

"Huh?"

"Give me the Marsh inhabitant!"

"I'm getting' outta here!"

"NO! I have to invite you to tea and crumpets!"

The old man was surprisingly strong and tackled the kidnapper, locking both him and Brock in his house.

"Thanks! You just saved me! I was being kidnapped!" Brock is saying.

"Saved you?! You mean that WASN'T your penny?"

"Yeah…I guess…"

"If YOU are the kidnapper, and YOU are the kidnappee, that must mean there's a kidnapping in process!"

"Not anymore!"

"You're gonna STAY for tea and crumpets and like it!"

"Sure…"

"What the heck. It's close to dinner anyway…"

"What IS a crumpet?" asked Brock.

"Who knows?"

"I do! It's like a vehicle."

"Whatever."

"Here! The crumpets and tea shall be summoned!"

The old guy, Bob or whatever goes to the pantry and grabs a bag of Lays and a piece of moldy bread.

"Those aren't crumpets!" said Brock; "They're potato chips!"

"This is how you summon the tea and crumpets!"

"Okaay…"

The old tea and crumpet guy puts the bag of chips, bread, and a box of Cheerios on the table. He opens the box and pulls out the bag. He pulls the bag and it's contents spill on the floor. He takes a fork and stabs the bread. "For the Rattatas," he says, and puts it in the garbage disposal. He opens the Lays and says "Eat," handing them to Brock. Brock takes one and the old guy says "No! Do not consume it! My God! Chicken's breath!" Brock puts it back.

"Yes. That's respectable. Tell the Houndoom to stop crapping over the lightning purple petunias. NO! Oh. No need to be alarmated! That's just my other half. He's demon possessed. Am not! Are too! Yeah? Well…YOU ARE TOO! Go eat a snowy onion!" The guy started laughing hysterically, "Okay, Mr. `I've got a sliced broom in my pants', what do you propose we do?"

"Which one of us?"

"Him."

"Me?"

He nodded impatiently.

"I'M Mr. `There's a broom in my pants'?"

"SLICED broom."

"Yes, but…WHY?"

"Orange Juliuses are cannibalistic."

"That's nice…"

The old guy rips the Cheerios box and (badly) cuts out the Honeybee. "It soaks," he said and stuck it in a bowl full of milk. As soon as it was fully drenched, the bag of Lays, which was now mysteriously re-sealed, popped. "It is," he said and ripped open the bag, revealing 4 cups (?) of tea, a sugar-bowl, and 3 fried Togepi.

"Wow!"

"And that's not the half of it, Lumbago! It feels."

"Right…"

"So," Brock said, "Why'd you decide to kidnap me?"

"Uhh…I don't know…it was the writer's dumb idea!"

"I've seen you on TV, Lumbago. You're Rex from Yu-Gi-Oh!"]