Pokemon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction ❯ Closure ❯ Cause I'm in Love with You ( Chapter 7 )

Title: Closure

Author: Chibi/Warlordess

Pre-Author's Notes: Welcome to the very last chapter of 'Closure'; that is, before the epilogue. Having all ready finished this chapter before writing the pre-author's notes column, I can proudly say that this fic is my best work... At least for the rest of this week... I have that problem where I write a fic and, while I'm writing it, it seems like the perfect story. And then I'm finished and I go to read it on my own again and I feel that it's horrible (meaning that I now think Miss Discovery! is a loud of crap)... I think I've described that complex to you all before... What would you call that..?

Er, anyway, thanks for sticking with me this far, and I hope that you enjoy this less-than-perfect ending to an AAMR. Please review some of your comments on this fic at the end, and try to contain your more-aggressive sides, because I know that some of you will not take to how Misty commits suicide in her misery, after Ash tells her that he could never feel the same way towards her. (Just kidding! Well... Mostly...)

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon. I don't even think I own this idea. I'm just the first person that I know of whose decided to post anything on FFN/anywhere else about it. Also, I don't own the song "Fall To Pieces", written and performed by Avril Lavigne (lyric composition assisted by Raine Maida). I haven't used the entire song, and it doesn't fit all the way through, but it's good anyway, and I've always wanted to make an AAMR song-fic with this song!

Summary: Ash's stupidity gains him a visit to Misty's Gym after his finish in the Hoenn League and there, things between them get a little hasty. Implied and possibly serious AAMR.

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Chapter Seven: 'Cause I'm In Love With You...

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I looked away

And then I looked back at you

You tried to say

Things that you can't undo

If I had my way

I'd never get over you

-

"Ash..." Misty still stood in the doorway, her hands at her side and Pikachu at her heels, watching him as he stood stark still in front of her desk, his hands held over the page of her Diary, as though trying to conceal the information he'd been reading, "You idiot! How could you even think..?! What makes you think that you could do this to me?!" She flung one of the cottony slippers held in her hand at him, hitting him in the arm.

Alarmingly, he didn't respond immediately. His mind still seemed to be absorbing the words he'd just muttered to himself, quoting her life's recording. Suddenly, his head darted in her direction, his face disfigured by the many emotions now comprised upon it.

"What makes me think..? Where do you get off, writing stuff like this? FEELING STUFF LIKE THIS... FOR ME?!" Ash was beside himself. He'd never felt so many things at once. Among the anxiousness now filling him at the situation, there was still the pressure, anger, confusion... He didn't know what to think about her anymore, "Misty, you told me that you were my best friend, remember? You've said it to me all these years... You said it to me again, the day I arrived here! And now I'm seeing something so bizarre, so different, so completely... Unbelievable. What do you want me to think? To say to you..?"

Misty didn't answer. She strode forward, snatched the book from under his palm, and looked him in the eyes. Instead of the red fury that he had almost been hoping to see, there was a deep regret, pain, fear, and shame, mingling with the tears beginning to well.

"I don't want you to say anything. I don't want you to think anything. I want you to forget what you read. I want you to apologize to me for this invasion of my privacy, and then I want you to get out--" She was abruptly interrupted.

"--I'm not apologizing to someone who I can't even rely on as a friend. I know that I may have done something wrong, but at least I did it for a moral reason. I only wanted to find out what you really thought... About me, about all of us from our travels, about you and me, too; that 'us', you know--?!"

"--There's no us--!"

"--And I certainly won't be leaving until I hear an apology from you, for lying about our friendship. Misty, I thought that being together all of these years really meant something to you; I didn't think that it'd be so easy for you to lie to me about what you think of me."

"Ash, you think that I didn't have a 'moral' reason for not telling you how I felt? What about this? What about your completely irrational reaction to finding out about it? I never lied to you; I regard you as the best friend I've ever had, and those days we spent together with Brock or Tracey, or even May and Max, are the greatest of my life. Just because I've grown to think more of you over all this time, doesn't mean that I still don't think of you with the same respect and understanding as before..!" She seemed desperate to make him comprehend what she really meant.

-

I don't want to fall to pieces

I just want to sit and stare at you

I don't want to talk about it

I don't want a conversation

I just want to cry in front of you

I don't want to talk about it

'Cause I'm in love with you

-

Ash still didn't say anything. Misty took in the situation; her being half-dressed and him being tousle-haired from a night of tossing for a comfortable position in his bed, and exhausted from never letting sleep find him there.

"Look, if you don't wanna talk about this, then get out of my room so that I can get ready for today. If you're so uncomfortable being around me, you can go stay at the Centre, or begin walking to Pallet. Crazy or not, today can't be put on hold due to my personal problems." Misty shoved him out the door, locked it, and turned back to the four beige walls around her, "What am I gonna do..?"

She collapsed on her bed, picking up one of her pillows to nestle her face against the cool top. There was still a tear trickling down her cheek from everything that had just happened. She didn't stop it as it slipped the rest of the way, finally landing and being sopped up by her sheets.

There was no sound anymore except her shuddering breath, but she wasn't attempting to keep it down. There was no point to withdraw from being heard. Everything that she'd been trying so hard to protect was now out in the open and clear as daylight, even to someone as remotely dense as Ash. What could she possibly do to stop things from becoming difficult? She'd been trying to find an answer to that question for the past three years, ever since she'd changed from "Best friend" to "Crush" (or "Secret love"; whichever suites you).

Gathering herself and sitting straight forward, she shook her head and galloped for her closet. There was nothing to be done about broken secrets now. She would just have to live with things the way they were now, and the way they were bound to be, from now on. She'd lived without Ash for this long, and people were able to fall out of love, so what was to stop her from losing these emotions as easy as it had been to gain them in the first place?

"But first..." She pulled out her regular clothes from the closet and hurried back to her bed, "I've gotta make it through today... And then we can worry about whatever else happens." She pulled on her undergarments, threw the red tank-top with yellow vest over her head, and drew her cut-off matching canary shorts over her waist. She ran her brush through her bright, red hair before cautiously opening her bedroom door again and staring outside into the upstairs hallway.

There was no Ash in view and a quick look and listen told her that he wasn't in the next room; nor was Pikachu. She sighed. Maybe he had actually taken her advice and hit the road before things got ugly and more uncomfortable. She tiptoed towards the upper landing, still hoping against hope that she could escape him if he happened to be in the foyer waiting, and began to slip quietly down the staircase.

Upon reaching the first floor hall, she leapt the last couple of steps and rushed towards the front door, spotting her keys and umbrella from the night before immediately upon the small table next to the main entrance. Opening the doorway and checking the lock, she made one last sound check to be sure that Ash had gone before shutting the entryway and taking a few steps forward.

Someone placed a light grip on her arm.

-

You're the only one

I'd be with 'till the end

When I come undone

You bring me back again

Back under the stars

Back into your arms

-

Misty yelped before turning to Ash, who had been pressing his body against the right outer wall of the Gym, waiting for her to try and escape. His backpack was slung over his shoulder and Pikachu was perched, as always, on top of his hatted-head.

Keeping his voice low (because he was either too nervous to speak in average tones or because he didn't want to be heard by anyone; she wasn't sure), he said, "We need to take a little detour from that Poke-Pick-Up you've got planned..." He was still holding her where she was, and she was too busy trying to get over the shock of him appearing, to tear her arm away from his grasp.

The thunder sounded around her as she cautiously opened her umbrella-top, her eyes washing over Ash's physique and the rain water now dripping casually from his strangely unemotional face; perhaps he didn't want to risk leading her on in a direction that her heart couldn't afford to stand... She tried to hold out her umbrella for him but he didn't make a move, as though resolving to stay a certain distance away from her.

Sighing in half-relief and panic, she let him pull her lightly in the direction of Seel Park, which was a private reserve for Water Type Pokemon, about five hundred meters from the Cerulean Gym. She knew that he had picked that as their place of discussion because they were sure to be alone, but was still worried about what they'd be talking about upon their arrival.

"Ash..." His grip seemed to unconsciously tighten, as though he were expecting her to start fighting for her freedom, but she only halted mid-step, her eyes concealed as she knelt her head, "...I know that you're angry... I'm angry, too... And I dunno who should be more-so in the here and now because... Because we've both done so much wrong. But, I am sorry that you had to find out this way... How I feel about you." He didn't say anything. Instead, his grip loosened again and he began pulling her a little more forcefully in the direction of the lake that had been installed in the center of the park.

When they'd reached the sanctity of the main attraction, both of them noticed a wrought-iron bench erected about ten feet away. They headed towards it and sat down, Misty jumping for a split second as the bars of her seat chilled her thighs in the early morning. It was clear that, even if someone had managed to find a way to slip past security, that person would be more sensible than to visit the reserve this early in the day.

"I dunno what I should say to you... I dunno what you want me to say to you... I know that it shouldn't matter anymore, that it never should have mattered, that you grew into feeling something different for me. But, somehow, I can't stop thinking that nothing can ever be the same between us again. I don't think we've been the same for a long time, Misty." Ash surprised her by speaking, but she remained silent, "I guess that I just haven't noticed anything 'till now. Still... I guess that there's nothing to be done. I'm sorry, though, too... Because I can't say that I feel the same way."

"Ash..." She should have known this was coming... But that didn't take the sting away from hearing the words being said to her, especially in his voice. She turned away from him, and then looked back, but there was still the same, defiant expression upon his face, and he didn't look back at her, preferring to glance in the opposite direction, "I guess that that's it, then--"

"--Hold on." Ash interrupted her, "I'm not done yet, Misty. I can't say that I feel the same way for you, as you do for me... But I can't say that I don't. I'm sorry, Misty, because I dunno how I feel anymore. I don't wanna hurt you, but I know that if I say that I... You know... And then later, it turns out that I don't... That maybe I feel... That... Way towards some other girl... I just know that I'd end up hurting you, anyway."

"I... Understand." But she didn't. Or, rather, she didn't want to.

-

Want to know who you are

Want to know where to start

I want to know what this means

Want to know how to feel

Want to know what is real

I want to know everything,

Everything

-

And, now... How were they going to change what happened today? Were they just going to forget that it ever happened? Was she going to forget that he ever read her diary, and everything that she'd ever felt? And was he going to forget that he'd learned the same secret she'd been trying to hide and rid herself of for the past however-many years..? Somehow, it just didn't seem that easy.

"Pika..." They both jumped this time, having forgotten that Pikachu was still there with them, "Pikachu pika kachu pi..?"

"No, Pikachu... Everything's not okay with us." Ash answered for them, "And I dunno if it'll ever be okay again... But I do know that if I ever realize during the times that we are, or are not, together, that I love Misty, I'm going to call her up and tell her that I wanna talk to her... And I'm going to treat her as if she's the most wonderful, beautiful, talented, and worthwhile person in the world, and that she deserves someone whose good enough to treat her like a queen. And hopefully, when that day comes, she'll tell me that she never stopped feeling for me the way she did... And, then, we'll both experience true happiness." Ash smiled at her, and looked at her for the first time, and this time their eyes met.

Misty grinned back at him, "When..?"

"Hey... You're the one who said that I'd have to realize your glass slipper was missing, right? Well, Cinderella, one day this dunce little prince is going to grow up and bump his head on something really big and hard and he's gonna come galloping up to you on his horse, finally comprehending that that stupid tennis shoe he found late one night belonged to the most special girl in the world, and he'd gonna come and place it on your foot."

"You're right; I did say that, Ash..." Misty's smile suddenly evaporated, to be replaced by a very heated, violated look, "And now that I feel somewhat better, I'm going to do what I've been wanting to do ever since last night." Ash looked confused for a moment, before he noticed that Misty's fist had snaked behind his back.

"OW!" His head and torso flew forward and he bit his tongue as she hit him so hard that he heard something in his back crack. She dashed out of her seat as he fell forward into the spot where her body had been a second before, "Hey! What was that for?!" His tone was somewhat muffled because of the pain in his tongue.

"Well, that was for calling me all of those things last night. Did you think I'd forgotten?" She smiled sweetly at him, and then walked forward as he sat up again, this time looking mentally and physically injured, and trying to reach the place on his back, where she'd punched him in his spine. He looked up as she closed in on him, and felt something sharp come across his cheek.

"And that one, my dearest best friend in the entire world... Was for your invasion of my privacy. If I ever catch you reading my diary again, I'm going to aim the next kick back to reality up your butt, and send you into space! You don't ever grab a girl's diary, the most sacred possession that they own, and expect not to get slapped; a lesson you've finally learned." She patted her hands together, looking almost back to normal, and then turned to him as he began rubbing his cheek.

"...I suppose that I did deserve that... I am sorry... but, after I put you in your bed, and went to turn off your light last night, I read what you'd written and I couldn't help but get interested--" He'd said the wrong thing.

"I wondered how I got there! Lesson number two: DON'T YOU EVER WALK INTO A GIRL'S ROOM WITHOUT PERMISSION!" Misty began stomping away, obviously too angry to trust herself getting within ten feet of him lest he end up with a permanent injury, "It will lead you down a path of enormous danger."

"You know, Misty... Your acting like that is starting to grow on me..." She looked back at him, as he sat there Indian-Style on the bench, still rubbing his cheek with one hand and inspecting his back with the other. She glared, but there was a sort of embarrassed, and hopeful, softness there, and he got up and extended an arm in friendship.

She didn't take it immediately, so he placed it around her neck and began leading her towards the PokeCentre, where she had first been heading to pick up her Pokemon.

Ash started whistling absent-mindedly, but Misty frowned, settling back into unhappiness now that her fuming adrenaline had run out.

Even as best friends, she knew that there would be secrets, hopefully none that Ash would ever try to find out again. There was just some things that you couldn't tell someone, especially when you knew it would go wrong... But, nevertheless, Ash's words had given her faith that, sometime soon, he would come to the conclusion that they had a special relationship... And he would do as he had said earlier, and come running in order to tell her what she'd been wanting to him to say for so many years.

"...Your acting like that is starting to grow on me..." He had said.

And, little do you know, Ash... You grow more on me everyday...

-

I'm in love with you

'Cause I'm in love with you

I'm in love with you

I'm in love with you

-

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Post-Author's Notes: That's the last chapter (besides the, REMEMBER NOW, epilogue). I know that you were hoping for some perfect ending, especially since, before, in chapters three-to-four (or whatever), I hinted that he was definitely showing all of the signs of romantic feelings for her, but he's Ash, meaning that, even if he did start feeling that way, he would never know what it meant unless someone told him straight. And even then, he would be completely indifferent as to having to act differently towards her. So I had to give him a little bit of time.

I know that you would have wanted this differently, and I'm sorry... But at least all of it was still there..! Should I make a one-chapter, epilogue-type sequel? Maybe he realizes what's up and goes after her like he should have done when she left? Well, I dunno... I'll sleep on that... Whenever I actually feel the need to go to sleep...

Um... Give a pal a review before you go, okay? AND NO FLAMES JUST BECAUSE I DIDN'T GIVE YOU THAT PERFECT, MUSHY, AAMRN FINALE!