Pokemon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction ❯ Pokemon Safari ❯ All story ( One-Shot )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

POKEMON SAFARI
by Foxy Boy

My fanfiction, based around what my life would be like in the Pokemon universe. Characters will be developed as I go along.
WARNING: Before reading any further, you must agree to these terms:

*I am at least 16 years of age, preferrably 18 or over.
*I see nothing offensive about profanity, sexual content and mild violence.
*I am open-minded and willing to view and enjoy material that may contain material of a homoerotic and furry nature.

If you do not understand or agree to the above, I strongly urge you to read no further. I have had more than enough furry and gay bashers in my history of writing.
If you agree, read on, and enjoy. ^_^

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INTRODUCTION

*view inside a darkened bedroom*
*alarm rings, and a lazy hand reaches up to turn it off*
*A figure soon sits up drowsily*
It's 7 AM. Time to wake up and take in a brand new day.
*The figure reaches across the table, fumbling about*
SHIT! I can't find my glasses... They must've fallen off of the desk overnight.
*As the figure reaches down, his hand soon travels under the bed, and touches something thick and cold*
Hmmm... That's peculiar... I wonder...
*The figure grabs hold of the object and pulls it up, turning on the lamp for better lighting in which to see*
Oh my Lord... Could this be...?
*He blows dust off of the object*
It IS! My old journal! I haven't seen this is ages!
*He proceeds to open the must-smelling pages, reading over his own words*
It's been so long... I hadn't forgotten, but the images were pushed back in my head.
*He looks out towards the viewpoint*
Oh, forgive me. I didn't realize I had company. Won't you please sit down?
*You sit*
There. Comfortable? Anything I can get you?
*You shake your head*
Ah. Very well. I hope I'm not in too much disarray. I hadn't forgotten our appointment today. My tennis game might not be at its peak, though. I hurt my arm yesterday. You understand, don't you?
*You nod*
Splendid. Oh, I'm sorry, you must be terribly curious about what I have in my hand. It's my old Pokemon journal, from the days when I was apprentice to professor Oak. I was basically an observing scientist to many different species of Pokemon. I hold many fond memories of those days... But I'm sure I would only bore you if I brought them up.
*You shake your head*
Oh, no? You would like to hear it, then?
*Positive response*
Oh, wonderful! Breakfast is always served late here at my house, and since I can't very well show up in top condition for tennis today... I suppose I could spare a few minutes. I should start from the beginning, then.
*You start to listen intently*

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Ah. February 8th, 1999. I was designated Oak's understudy. I remember how eager I was to start my Pokemon studies under him... So much anticipation of contact with fascinating trainers, learning about how their Pokemon battle, and the friendships they forged together. I was, suffice to say, errant in thinking I would have as much human contact. What I could not realize at the time was, the studies and life I would be leading would bear far more fruit than anything else I could have delved into.

I was given my assignment only a few short days thereafter. It was Oak's understanding that, though Pokemon had been largely domesticated and used as protection and an ongoing lifestyle, there were still many areas that contained wild Pokemon, unspoiled by human progress, untamed by human hands, unchanged by human civilization. I was told to travel to a remote region of Johto to explore and document Pokemon in the raw.
I think it would help to tell you that I had never had many pets. The creatures I had been given were mostly generic household pets such as cats and dogs. They were fine companions, but lacked any kind of advanced intelligence whatsoever. I had been born an only child and attended a private school, so I was no stranger to loneliness. But in my mind, wild beasts were hardly a substitute for any social circle.
Once again, an errant prediction.
The professor filled me in on all of the details shortly after I was initially briefed. I was to study the Nidoran and their evolutions, perhaps the most odd of all Pokemon. Before the discovery of gender within species, these were the only Pokemon known to have different gender, though the differences were so drastic between the sexes they had to be classified as totally different evolutionary chains, despite their essentially belonging, in every way, to a single wild community.
Before I was given clearance or reason to learn about these Nidoran, only this was known about them: Their social groups were very much like that of the Gorilla, though they showed evidence of intelligence equal to dolphins. And, if I were to gather any further information about them, I would have to do more than simple surveillance. I could see the best possible option was to attempt closer encounters, to live amongst them, as one with them, to study their eating, sleeping, sexual and social habits.
It would not be easy, and it certainly wasn't safe. A fully evolved male was called "Nidoking". These individuals were capable of destroying a house with only their tail. A full-rush tackle was everything but guaranteed as fatal.
But Oak knew that, if anyone were qualified for this long-term study, it was me. I had played football AND basketball, and through those sports I had assimilated athletic ability and quick reflexes, as well as a sense of teamwork. I was to blend in and act as I were a part of their team. If anything went awry, I would duck out as soon as possible.
It was a mission that lasted almost 2 years... 2 years that would forever change me, for the better.

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March 19th- I was dropped via helicopter close to a known community of Nidoran. There were no accessible paths in or out of the region, as it was surrounded by both dense tropical forests and rugged, rocky mountains. If I was to need assistance in any way, I could count on my long-life CB Radio. For the life of me I still cannot figure out why I was given something that required batteries... It was clearly insane how many extras I had to carry.
Despite having to carry all of that, as well as my own rations, I soon found myself within viewing distance of my new (but temporary) home.
A large clearing in the forest, composed of savannah grass and a few watering holes. And right in the middle was the community.
fifty, perhaps sixty different Nidoran in various stages of evolution. I allowed myself a few minutes to set up my necessities, then, grabbed a few pieces of brush from the edge of the forest and covered the items, so as not to arouse suspicion in case one of them chanced to wander over my direction. Afterwards, I spent perhaps an hour (I did not have a reliable way in which to tell time) studying the makeup of their clique.
The majority of their population was children, young Nidoran males and Nidoran females, usually surrounded by a few older, larger brethren, such as Nidorinos and Nidorinas. They were separated into around ten groups of five, each group with an adult female, obviously the mother.
There was only one adult male, as far as I could tell. He would wander around the groups, surveying them, then returning to a small risen spot in the ground. I quickly determined that he must be the alpha male, and the hill was his "throne" of sorts.
Occasionally, one of the children would nip another on the ears. Usually, the female children were the aggressors, biting the males on their large and, as I gathered, sensitive earlobes. It was then that sounds, obviously scolds, from the mother were issued. Usually, it would immediately calm the racket, but once or twice it failed to quiet the young ruffians. When this happened, the alpha male lumbered down from his throne, stood beside the children, and let loose the most gigantic-blood-curdling scream you could possibly imagine. I am thankful that my heart was not too weak; otherwise I might have leaped away in fright before viewing more.
The roar would instantly calm the children, and they would go about their normal activities, which usually consisted of studying bees and other flying insects around them (Which, I can assure you were in multitude). Sometimes, they might ingest one, leaping up to it and snagging it with a short tongue. Fasvinating, I mused. Mammalian appearance, but in eating, it behaves like an amphibian, despite its short tongue. They were good jumpers, as they had to be to snag those bugs.
It was only after seeing some ingest large amounts of prairie grass that I discovered they were omnivorous.
By the time I had documented all of this, it was getting late, as the sun sank beneath the mountainside to the west. I allowed myself to stay awake to observe their sleeping patterns.

The males, young and old, would sleep together within families, while the mothers and daughters slumbered with one another. It was all I could do to speculate whether this had something to do with the fact they were classified as different species, or vice versa, or even that their bond between genders was not too strong.
I then allowed myself to sleep, vowing to attempt to actually come in contact with them the next day.

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March 20th- I awoke bright and early, due to a scream from the alpha male. The day before I had observed that, after he roared for the benefit of feral children, they would quickly act startled, and settle again. I noticed no evidence of nervousness among them when the Nidoking screamed out. Rather, it was much the opposite, as they seemed to be drowsy, but gradually becoming more and more aware, as was I. This must be some sort of wake- up call.
I had slept a hundred-ish yards from them, close to my rations. I quickly realized that, in my haste for study the previous night, I had neglected to eat. I was famished.
I opened a small can of beans with a can opener I had brought along, and had began to eat them, when I heard cries from several of the child Nidorans, both genders. It had a lilt of curiosity, and I quickly realized (with some degree of alarm) that it was my food. They smelled it, and were coming toward me at a medium pace.
Of course, if they could smell food, I wondered why my own body odor hadn't alerted them of my presence before. Obviously, they had smelled me, but felt in no danger at all, so little they showed no signs of even taking notice of me before now.
I breathed deeply. I was not quite prepared to be introduced to close contact with them, though it was becoming increasingly apparent I had no choice.
The first to reach me was a young male Nidoran. A rather cute young thing, with long, bluish-green ears and a pink body. I had to be cautious of the spines on his side and back, for it was common knowledge they contained a powerful neurotoxin. The professor had spent time creating an antidote, one that could prevent me from being harmed by it at any time, but it was still highly experimental, so I quickly decided not to use it unless absolutely necessary.
I held down the can for the young male to sniff. He retreated quickly at my motion, arching his back and shaking it to show his spikes. I dared not move, fearing either spikes might be ejectable from his skin like missiles, or he might full-on attack me. Many other Nidoran were behind him, and if he attacked, chances are they all would... And if they were all upon me... I shudder to think of how painful or gruesome my fate might have been.
Thankfully, it didn't turn out that way. I remained motionless, showing I meant no harm, and the young male quickly relaxed and came up to me again, with the food I had near ground-level. He sniffed it, and decided he liked it. Terrific, I thought. As if I don't already have to worry about keeping adequate provisions for myself... The last thing I needed was another mouth to feed.
Luckily, he didn't eat much, only a few bites, and none of his siblings were willing to get close enough to eat from my hand, as he did.
They quickly turned away and headed back to where they were before. As they headed back, I was given a chance to glimpse at the ground in front of them before they once again covered and occupied it. It was obviously a nest, more gorilla-like than I had thought. Made up of mostly dead savannah grass (hay) and a few large white sticks... Or were they bones? The young ones could subsist on bugs, but there was no doubt in my mind that the mid- and final-stage Nidorans must go after bigger prey.
That was yet another thing I convinced myself to study at a later date.
I had just sat back down to try to eat my breakfast again, when I'll be damned if the same Nidoran I fed just a minute or so earlier didn't come back for seconds. Gaining my wits, and courage knowing I had been in his presence before and not gotten attacked, I refused him more of my rations. I expected him to turn and walk back, but he sat down, merely a foot away from me, staring at me. I shrugged my shoulders lightly and proceeded to eat. He never moved from that spot the entire time, and when I was finished, I held out my hand to see his reaction.
That was probably just a bit foolish of me, but yet again I was spared of any danger... And I got my first surprise.
He rubbed the side of his head into my hand. I slowly and gently proceeded to pet him in that exact spot, and he closed his eyes in what was was obviously comfort and happiness.
It was only my second day around them, and already I had began to forge a bond. Things were seemingly going rather well... Until his mother caught sight of me with him.

...I'm not sure what made her more angry, her son coming into contact with a stranger from an unfamiliar species, or me, the stranger petting her son. Either way, I had never seen a female of any species more clearly pissed off than her.
She was about my height, huge, bulky and blue, with rather promiscuous mammary glands, like most all other Nidoqueen. I am amazed I was able to learn that in the period she was walking towards me, screeching in fury, her eyes almost red.
I distinctly remember two thoughts flowing through my head when I thought I was going to die: "Oh, SHIT", and "I never got laid, either." Rather shallow-sounding, I know, but near-death experiences tend to bring out the human nature in all of us.
So, there was the furious mother, me (her target) and her hapless son, still beside me, and in the middle of this petrifying situation.
I suppose I could thank where he was for saving me, since if she had continued, she would've plowed into him as well as me. She caught sight of him when she was only a few yards away from me, and stopped dead in her tracks. Then, the most amazing thing happened.
From what I could tell, he proceeded to fuss at her, and she quickly calmed, and turned back toward the nest. He rubbed his head into my hand more.
I swear, may lightning strike me down here and now if I am lying: He was defending me and the fact he knew I meant him no harm... And he convinced her to turn back and leave him alone.
I remember thinking, if only human parents were that easy to talk to.
He stayed with me, allowing me to pet him for several more minutes... Until another rude surprise.
The alpha male showed up. The little one caught sight of him, and fled in terror.
If the young male wasn't nearly as afraid of a strange human man as a familiar man of his own species, I can only imagine why I should fear this beast.
He was taller than me, and very large, built like a brick wall, so to speak. His entire frontal torso region was while, as opposed to the rest of his body, which was dark purple. His spikes were much longer than those of any of the occupants of this nest, and his tail was more than three times as long as any Nidoqueen's. Very powerful, too. He wore what seemed to be a permanent expression of anger, slightly narrowed eyes with long, almost fang-like teeth.
Despite this, I read no anger, hostility or fear from him. In fact, he simply walked up and stared intently at me, then, seemingly against all odds, he sat down beside me. He didn't seem to be asking to be petted, but I could tell he knew there was something I could give him that he wanted. It wasn't food, the empty can was still out in the open, and he took no notice of it.
That was the moment shortly before I discovered many things at once, about Nidoran and about myself.
I was almost ready to try several things to see what he wanted, when he showed me what it was.
He roared in a low voice and exposed his genitals.
And, surprisingly, almost shockingly, I knew right off it was not simply a comparison, like males of several species size each other up during mating season. I read some sort of passion from this Nidoking, as far as I could tell, a sense of longing.
Of course, I could not comprehend why. He was the only adult male in the entire group, and obviously must have sired all of the children... At least, I was sure at the time. Perhaps my pheromones were confusing him, or it was something I still couldn't quite understand.
It was only later it became apparent, and it tied in to why males always slept at night near males, and females near females.
Though the Nidorans would frequently mate to produce children, occurences of homosexuality within their communities were staggering, and many seemingly shared the same bonds that human same-sex couples shared.
I myself, at the time, ha never thought much about my sex life, though I was 17 years old. All I knew was, I had never really found myself attached to anyone or anything strongly enough to pursue them, or even decide on my own sexuality.
Now, I was at a stalemate. It was obvious what this Nidoking wanted, but he was a wild beast. His intelligence and mannerisms evidenced many human parallels, but was he still simple enough to be called a beast? Perhaps if I was certain whether or not he was capable of learning human speech or, even complex language, it would be different, but I was certain of one thing: Only one other species on the entire Earth has ever before been largely documented and confirmed as sometimes willingly desiring sexual relations with humans, and that is the dolphin. Were this truly what I was almost sure of, it was definitely without a doubt a MAJOR scientific breakthrough... But who would it benefit? Perhaps they would become the tools of perverts, or even worse, be sold into slavery as sex paraphernalia.
But, I was thinking the worst. In the midst of my deep thought, though, I had not noticed something.
The Nidoking had, with his large, clawed hand, reached over, and sat his hand on my crotch area.
I remember wondering why I wasn't more uncomfortable. I was full of doubt as to whether I would allow this to continue... After all, one cannot help but know exactly where this would've gone.
I decided not to allow it. As gently as possible, I attempted to remove the Nidoking's hand from my person.
I was much too weak to resist, but he received the point loud and clear, taking his hand away himself.
I would not kid you, though; he actually smiled as he got up and walked back with the rest of the Nidorans.
I remember worrying whether or not I had made a mistake. This new discovery of their differences from most animals in sexual behavior might not ever be useful to mankind, at least not in a constructive way (I still had my worries about the consequences if this information was somehow leaked someday), but I felt it was my responsibility to explore every facet of their life in the wild, even if it meant foregoing my own human inhibitions.
I had often envied animals in the simplicity of their life. They need no moral code or silly inhibitions or phobias. They live by their instincts and how they feel, and somehow they never create chaos, unless humans are involved.
Perhaps I dream too much, but on many occasions before, and especially after that encounter, I wished I had not been born human.
I just worried now that I may have foregone the only chance I would have to observe any sort of Nidoran fornication.
And, besides that, the rest of the day was spent observing. Surprisingly, I learned nothing new after that for quite a while, and I only served to confirm some of my previous observations.

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June 30- In the time I had spent since my last entry, many more interesting discoveries had come to light.
First of all, I had been studying the eating habits of Nidoran. It appeared the young Nidoran would gorge themselves on grass and bugs. The second-stage Nidorinos and Nidorinas will frequently wander to the edge of the clearing, as they subsist on honey and small animals such as field mice. The adult females, the Nidoqueens, kill larger animals such as raccoons and foxes, and the alpha male hunts prey not unlike the African lion does... Mostly species in or of the deer family.
The way the second-stage Nidorans kill their prey is very peculiar. The males will charge at the animals and puncture their skin with the horn on their forehead. The wound is never large, but almost immediately the neurotoxin begins to slow the prey, until it can no longer run. It is then the male is upon them, tearing the prey's hide until they finally succumb. They then gorge themselves and leave the carcass to rot.
The females, since they have no forehead horn, choose to ambush their prey like housecat. They leap upon their prey, using their claws to tear its chest area to shreds, then jabs up toward their heart region, puncturing it or heir lungs and killing them instantly. In some ways, it is a cleaner (and certainly faster) kill than the males, but it can be much more bloody.
The adult females stand still as a statue until their prey wanders up to them, then, at just the right moment, they body slam it as hard as possible, instantly crushing the animal's bones. Clean, fast and humane.
The alpha male I only observed killing his own prey once. The rest of the time, he would find a carcass left by another Nidoran and pick it clean.
When he did hunt, it was amazing.
It was rare that apalla and mountain goats wandered into this clearing from the mountains, but when they did, they were usually disoriented or fatigued. Only once did one wander within even a hundred-and-fifty yards of Nidoking... They must have an instinct that tells them not to go too near. From what I say of the fate of the one that did not get away, their fear was well-founded.
From my studies of geographic areas and their animals, I quickly surmised that that was a female apollo, and all signs pointed toward the fact she was in heat. She was calling out in an inviting manner toward nowhere in particular, and the intensity of it must have been what disoriented her.
Regardless, she made the mistake of getting too close to Nidoking. Before that moment, he had been sitting down, relaxing. But as soon as he caught a whiff of that apollo, I saw an expression come over him that I could die happy never seeing again.
Pure, unadulterated hunting instincts. He took one look at the apollo, and began to run at what I thought was an incredible pace for such a large beast. The female, though agile and excited, was too disoriented by being in heat to even react in time.
It seemed like a blur, but I was able to make out the important details. He took his tail and slammed her, so hard she flew through the air as if catapulted. He ran beneath her, and when she came down she was instantly impaled on his huge forehead horn, which was pointed upwards at her.
Without using his hands, he carried it to the middle of the clearing, some distance away from the nest, and ate and ate until he could eat no more. Despite his size, he was able to fill himself while leaving most of the hindquarters.
He then started carrying it back toward the nest. But, en route, he looked over at me, and started walking towards me instead.
Once he reached me, he took the carcass and held it out towards me.
He was offering me some of his own kill.
Of course, I couldn't very well say no, and I didn't really want to. I took it graciously and reached in my pack, producing a small range stove. His puzzled expression showed even more evidence of advanced intelligence. Now, I knew he was capable of humanlike emotions as well as expressions. Remarkable.
I turned on the range and placed some meat on it. It didn't take long at all to cook, and Nidoking watched me the whole time. Once it was done, I took a bite, and thought I'd return the favor he gave me by offering him some cooked meat.
He took it and tried it. He seemed happy. Obviously, he liked it. I wasn't sure whether it was the different taste or the fact it was much less messy than it was when raw.
I offered him more, and he took it. I had thought before he was full, in fact I had been near certain of it. Maybe he was ating because I was offering it. I certainly didn't want to overstuff him, but I figured at the time, with a belly as large as that, he could definately hold a stately amount.
It wasn't long before I had cooked up the entire remainder of the carcass, and we had both eaten near equal amounts from it.
The meat seemed to make me sleepy, much like turkey meat contains chemicals that induce sleep. It was only 3 o' clock in the afternoon, but I knew that I needed to take a nap. The trouble was, I was not close to the makeshift-bed I had created over the past few weeks, and I did not feel like going back to sleeping on bare ground like I had been for the first week or so I was here.
The Nidoking always continued to surprise me, and this was no exception. I think he sensed my dilemma. He must have, for he laid down beside me and presented his chest, while producing another low murring growl-like sound similar to the one I had heard some time ago.
He allowed me to lay down on him and use his stomach area as a pillow. I, of course, took the offer.
As soon as I laid down my head, he started stroking as if I was a cat. He smiled down at me and continued to murr. Even in my sleepy state, I was still studying his behavior, and realized that this was more than just a friendly offer.
He genuinely wanted to be close to me, to feel me, to be kind to me. I realized this, and the realization triggered an emotion I had never experienced this strongly before.
I had found not only a friend, but perhaps something beyond that. I was so deeply touched, I didn't realize it at first, but I began to weep with joy. As I did, he used his hand to sweep the tears from my face.
Afterwards, I had slipped into such a near-catatonic state of sleepiness I was too tired to continue consciousness, and drifted off to sleep, still with my head on his stomach.

I awoke suddenly and, observing the position of the moon, realized that it was midnight. I had slept for 9 hours.
I was almost ready to thrash myself for being so complacent... But I was not at fault for how long I slept. After all, it was not like I had an alarm clock or anything like that to speak of.
I was still waking up when I tried to sit up, and realized I couldn't budge.
Not only was Nidoking still with me, but he had wrapped both arms gently around my abdomen, preventing me from rising.
My struggles did not wake him, as he was asleep at that time. I decided that I should just leave him be. I did not know at the time why I did; it was only later I realized it was because I had began to harbor some feelings for him.
I simply relaxed and allowed myself to drift off to sleep again. I had not been awake for long, so I did not find it difficult to get back into slumber.

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August 3rd- It had been much time since my last entry, due to the fact I had lost my pen for sometime, eventually finding it stuck in the metal binding spine of the journal. I don't know why I did not look there sooner.
Anyway, the next morning after the end of the last night detailed, I was awoken by him stroking my head again. His other hand had, once again, wandered down to the front of my pants. I was not that surprised at that, but I was surprised that nothing had happened, and my pants were still not only intact, but zipped too. A fellow of his size could have easily taken one claw and ripped the jeans to shreds, or just taken them right off of me as if nothing, but I could tell I was unbothered.
He seemed to understand my inhibitions, and had abstained from anything I could possibly call rape or forced relations. He was the most understanding creature I had ever had the pleasure of studying.
Anyways, after that, I chose to map out an extended survival plan. The mission had only been intended to last five months, but the time was almost over, and I had so many other things to discover.
Probably more difficult than surviving for more time with the same provisions would be explaining to Oak the reasons why I wanted to stay. If I told him the truth about Nidoking, he would most definitely not allow me to stay any longer. He might not believe the affectionate parts, but he would definitely not take too well to me allowing myself near one of the most (as he thought) dangerous, wild and unpredictable creatures in Johto.
The thought of having to explain this to him troubled me so much, it occupied my mind incessantly, and I was unable to think of more studying at the moment.

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August 20th- That was the day Oak came to pick me up in the helicopter. Before he did, I was almost panicking, since I still did not know how to keep him away. I knew that if he came too close, the noise from the helicopter would scare away the Nidoran, and I might lose all social headway I had made with them.
I was alarmed to find that I could think of nothing to stop Oak, who was, at that time, approaching from over the mountains, and I was powerless to stop him.
To put it lightly, I did not want to leave. Every single day I had spent observing and socializing with the Nidoran was another day I was able to enjoy their company. Even the protective Nidoqueens had began to accept me as a part of the herd.
My situation reminded me deeply of one of my favorite movies of all time, Gorillas In The Mist. The woman in the movie was on a safari similar to mine, though I hoped this would have a happier ending than that movie.
I was sitting only a few yards away from the Nidoran when the rotor blades were finally audible. Many of the young Nidoran males' ears had perked up beforehand, due to their superb hearing.
As Oak cruised closer in his whirlybird, the Nidoran began to get nervous. I was almost sure they would scatter.
Luckily, Oak landed the helicopter at the opposite edge of the clearing, He had not gotten close enough to scare the Nidoran away.
I remember breathing a gigantic sigh of relief.
Oak was not young by any standards. He was approaching 50, so he took his time walking over to me from what might have been a quarter of a mile away.
I'm glad he didn't run, for he same reasons I'm glad he didn't land the copter ten feet away from me.
When he finally got close enough to speak, another one of the now-famous-to-me Nidoking surprises happened.
Nidoking saw Oak walk up, and began to walk towards me from a few yards away. Oak stepped back, and the Nidoking sat down beside me, allowing the professor close but never taking his eyes off of him.
Now, he was even protecting me.
Oak began to banter on at what I figured he would. The time was up, and I needed to get back to civilization.
Despite my great respect for Oak, I decidedly shook my head. I was not going to leave.
A conversation ensued, and it went something like this:

Oak: I'm telling you, the time is up! You've done what I wanted you to do!
Me: I have only begun to scratch the surface of how complex these individuals are. You would not believe what I have discovered.
Oak: Eating and sleeping habits cannot be that complex.
Me: You told me I was to study every facet of their living.
Oak: I said that because I knew that was the only way you'd be interested. You've always been that way. You only study animals if you can monitor everything about them. All I needed was information about their eating and sleep cycles, and I thank you for helping me. Now, we have to go, son.

He held out his hand. I wrenched back.

Me: Don't you call me son. I don't have t listen to you or anyone else. I have learned much more about these Nidoran than you could ever learn with your books and documents. I have allowed myself up-close and personal with these what you deem "beasts", and I have seen people that are much less civilized. I didn't forge this bond just to tear it away instantly. If you want me to ever leave at all, I'm going to need more time.
Oak: How could you stay longer? You'd exhaust your rations quickly. You need clean clothes and water. You need human contact. You can't survive out here any longer without them, and I'm beginning to think I was a fool to allow you out here in the first place. Now, come.
Me: I would sooner die.
Oak: You- you don't mean that.
Me: The hell I don't. Leave me, or face the consequences.
Oak: You could never bring yourself to harm me, and you know it.
Me: I never said I would have to.

I then looked over at Nidoking, and took a long-shot chance that he could read my feelings. I began to harbor hate and anger at the professor, and even tried to come across as fearing him.
It worked. Nidoking got up and growled angrily at the professor. He began to shake in his boots and back up.

Oak: Wh-what happening? What is he doing?
Me: Defending me. He's a lot smarter than you think.
Oak: Make him stop! Call him away!
Me: Only if you promise to leave now.
Oak: But what about your survival without food or water?
Me: Nidoking brings me food, and I cook it on the portable range. I have a water filter and purifying tablets for rainwater. These Nidoran are as good a group of friends to me as any humans could be. Don't worry about me. If I were you, I would worry more about YOU right now.
Oak: You know I can't-
Me: Ah-ah-ahhh! I still haven't called Nidoking back, you know.
Oak: Alright, alright! You can stay.
Me: That's more like it.

I then relaxed my mind and longed for Nidoking to come back. He was still growling at professor Oak, but he came back to me. Oak started running back toward the helicopter, shouting something about me being insane.
For the first time since I had been with the Nidoran, I found something to laugh loudly at. Nidoking heard me, and smiled. He understood a lot more than he could possibly let on.

----------------------

October 7th- My 18th birthday. I was finally an adult, and could celebrate quietly amongst my Nidoran friends. It's rare that any adventurer can enjoy such a close bond with any sort of non-human community, and I cherished every minute I had with them. For the first time since I can remember, I felt a sense of belonging.
Every day I was closer to Nidoking. Over the past few weeks he had started to growl and grunt in a rhythm almost as a human would make sentences. I am certain he picked this up from me, since I frequently talked to him. Despite his lack of any cogniscent English response, I was still satisfied with talking to him.
That day, it suddenly dawned on me, I WAS now an adult. In other words, I could smoke, vote or see NC-17 movies at will. Of course, in my social circle those were unheard of. It was just as well. Smoking kills you, voting only serves to put an idiotic politician in power with false campaign promises, and NC-17 movies were always plotless mounds of sex between ugly people.
But sex... That still fascinated me, naturally. And until now, I had only had one individual show genuine interest in me... One I'm no doubt you are aware of.
And, as I turned these things over in my mind, he was right beside me, as usual. He was cleaning his hand with his tongue, as he had made a kill earlier, and he and I had finished off the meat.
I saw him, sitting there, and decided that I was ready.
I crawled up to him slowly and looked into his eyes. I allowed my thoughts to travel over something I really wanted in the first place, but had been afraid to embrace.
I licked my lips and started to pet his stomach. He picked up on the signal quickly, looking at me with a wider smile than I had ever seen from him.
I sat up beside him and looked down at his crotch area. He had always been "well-hung", but up until now I had never even seen the beginnings of his erection.
It was, suffice to say, huge, and very humanlike in appearance. Perfect, I thought. This will be more fun than I thought.
I reached my hand down to his now-growing cock, feeling around the hot, throbbing shaft. I could tell he was mightily enjoying this. I got down on my hands and knees and began to fondle it lovingly, watching it pulse with excitement. I was surprised to feel Nidoking's hand on my buttocks, since I was now in a position where he could reach them. He began to rub my rear slowly but firmly. Was this really what foreplay was like? Regardless, I was enjoying it immensely.
I finally gave in and put my mouth down near his penis. I first licked around the bit of pubic hair he had (It obviously did not appear in large amounts on Nidorans), then licked around the walls of his now-completely erect member. I figured it must have been at least 9 inches, probably more. Fitting for such a benevolent beast.
As I licked around it, I could hear him utter a sound I had never heard him do before. He moaned, in pure pleasure. I could see that there was no going back now, even if I'd wanted to. My own member was becoming greatly aroused, and I remembered that no one was around, no one to care. I unzipped my pants and threw them away from me, then removed my shirt. I myself had nearly 7 inches, and Nidoking was obviously as interested in giving as receiving. He used his other hand to feel around my own cock, stroking it softly, more softly than I thought was possible for such a strong creature.
As I continued to lick around his member, I felt something wet splash on my neck. I felt around it with my hand. It was precum, and a generous amount, too. I licked some off of my fingers, then decided to take a chance by taking in Nidoking's meat in my mouth instead of just teasing.
It tasted good, not musty or dirty as I expected an unbathed creature to taste or smell. I knew that if he thrusted into me, he could easily snap my neck, and that would be that. But the emotions and passion were running so strongly, they took over good sense... A choice I will be forever glad I made.
He continued to moan in pleasure, a sound I loved to hear. Even if I had gotten nothing out of the encounter, I would have been satisfied knowing I was making him happy.
More precum spurted out of his tip, lubricating my mouth and helping to even out the motions. He was still fondling me and rubbing my ass, and I was getting close to orgasm faster than I had ever been able to do before with simple masturbation.
I must admit I was half-expecting him to go before me, but being a virgin I suppose my first experience went rather quickly, and if his community was any indication he was definitely not a stranger to intercourse, though probably more accustomed to procreation rather than this.
Either way, I almost yelled out as I shot my load, which hit his side and dribbled down. He took his hand off of my cock and ran it through my sperm, then licked it off of each of his fingers. He had probably done this before, if he knew to do that... But it could have just been instinct.
I continued sucking hard on his member, which spurted more and more precum faster and faster with each passing moment.
It all happened at once. He screamed so god damned loudly it almost shattered my eardrums, but I was almost too preoccupied to notice. When he blew his load, it was like sticking a high-pressure hose in my mouth. There was no way I could've contained the blast, and it blew out of the sides of my mouth like a fountain for several seconds.
The peak he experienced I think I enjoyed more than he did. His jizz was delicious, and I swallowed what I could of it.
I spent the next few minutes rubbing his stomach and cleaning him off. As I finished off, all of his passion and relief of lust culminated in one word, the first one I had ever heard him speak:
"Good."
I myself was speechless, partly from his sperm gumming up my mouth, but mostly from hearing that. I decided that, if this what it took to get him to say more, I would definitely come back for another go, and soon.
My first sexual experience had been realized, and as I looked deeply into his eyes, I gave him a human talent of my own. A kiss. And not just a simple peck-on-the-kisser, either. A French kiss.
He didn't seem confused at all. I am certain he understood fully what that meant, for he returned the kiss with equal passion.
I allowed myself to lie naked on his body for what seemed like hours.
It was the best birthday I had ever had, and probably the best I would ever have, even if I found a lover in civilization, provided I ever went back.

-----------------------


December 24th- Despite the warm climate there, it was getting increasingly chilly, and some nights it felt like it was 40 degrees or lower. The days hadn't got much warmer than just below room temperature in quite a while.
It was, perhaps, the most unique Christmas Eve I could ever spend... Without the company of any family to speak of. My friends, though, were abundant.
The young male Nidoran I had first bonded with was more friendly to me than ever... I pretty much took him under my wing as a stepson. Certainly an experience in parenting, though I wasn't always prepared to handle discipline with him. He would frequently wander over to my camouflaged equipment and start messing around with it. I would scold him, and he would arch his back in defiance... I am certain that is what it was, defiance. No different than any normal child, I thought to myself.
However, he would always back down quickly. I knew he respected me as authority, and I had much fun teaching him to watch Nidoking hunting, in preparation for what someday may be his own destiny.
Many of the females, young and old, preferred to distance themselves from me, though I know not why. Perhaps it was their instincts, or they just didn't like me, but the only true friendships I had with these Nidoran were always with the males.
To this day, I still do not know for sure whether or not Nidoking was actually the father of any of those children. I can only assume he is, but it doesn't really matter much to me anyway.

-----------------------

December 25th- That day was exceedingly cold, down into the lower 30s, which was most unusual for that region. I had to bundle up and stick close to the Nidoran. Most of the day, we huddled together to conserve warmth. Of course, Nidoking chose to be closest to me the majority of the time. Sometimes it's hard to believe he isn't human.

-----------------------

January 4th, 2000- I remember that was the first tragic day of my habitation there. One of the mid-stage females became sickly and weak, and began vomiting. I could not make out what she had, or if it was something she had eaten. I could not find anything to alleviate her problem. In fact, her condition worsened throughout the day.
It was all I could do to pet her and comfort her, and offer her food, which she refused.

-----------------------

January 5th- I cried my eyes out that day. When I awoke that morning, I had found the sick female had passed on during the night, frozen in a prone position, a sickly stare frozen in her lifeless eyes. I gave her a proper funeral as best I could, Nidoking dug a hole with his claws and we buried her. I saw a tear escape the 'King's eyes as I covered her over. I now knew that he could cry.
The rest of the day was mostly spent in vigil mourning, all of us.

-----------------------

February 11th- That day, I offered Nidoking some cooked food and he vocally thanked me. He had begun to learn words at an incredible rate. So far, I had heard him say "Good", "Yes", "No", "Please", "Why?", and "Thank you", the latter 4 within just the last week. I was just beginning to realize his potential for learning, and every day I became more convinced that it would be a long time before I would be willing to leave. Sometimes, I grew almost convinced I shouldn't at all, but I knew that if I stayed away from civilization for too long, I could've gotten culture shock when I returned, or became an outcast.
That, and in the midst of trying to plan for provisions since many of the small animals that Nidorina, Nidorino, Nidoking and Nidoqueen ate were in hibernation or had migrated, I obviously had a lot on my plate to deal with.

-----------------------

March 13th- The apollo had returned near the mountains, and Nidoking slaughtered another. Watching him hunt was truly a thing of beauty, and I never grew tired of it.
He walked up to me with it, and uttered the first cogniscent sentence I had heard from him. "Do you want some?" Mind you, he did not hesitate with or tumble over the words. When he did speak, it was with all of the fluent roll of any American adult. I gladly took the offer and we ate together, and curled up afterwards.

-----------------------

June 6th- That day was the hottest I had ever experienced. It was probably 110 degrees easily, and it was not what anyone would consider a dry heat. Of course, no one would've cared if I was nude, and it was the only way I could even halfway stand the heat. Thank God the watering holes had not dried up. They were by no means clean, but they were cool enough to provide temporary relief from the horrid heat.
The Nidoran seemed to be completely acclimated to it, though. Only the youngest seemed weak from the temperature, leading me to believe the fat on the older ones protected them from the intensity of the sun's rays. I find it strange that it did not provide them with relief from the cold last winter as well... Perhaps it isn't the fat that keeps them cool. I must study this more.

-----------------------

September 22nd- That was the time Professor Oak came back to check up on me. He didn't land far from me that time, but the Nidoran barely took notice, maybe because they had seen him before, or maybe because they were certain that either I, or Nidoking, or both of us could protect them.
The first thing the Professor did was apologize to me for calling me insane at the end of our last conversational exchange, and I graciously accepted, despite the fact everything in me told me I shouldn't. I suppose I did because I knew that, were it not for him, I would never have met any of these fascinating creatures or Nidoking without him. I at least had to thank him for that. I did, and he replied it was no problem.
Of course, now that he was in a better situation than the last time, he had a million questions for me, pertaining to what I had learned.
I decided to start from the beginning, detailing everything that I had mentioned in this journal chronologically, even Nidoking and I, and the experiences we had shared. At first, he didn't believe it, and despite my age, he scolded me about it.
I merely sought proof by calling Nidoking over to me. Once he was close enough, I threw my arms around him, and he kissed me. Yes, he kissed ME. I did not start that motion, so there was no way for Oak to deny that I was truthful.
First he gasped. Then, he asked me how in creation I had managed to forge a sexual relationship with a wild beast. I let Nidoking answer for me.
"It just happened."
I am still surprised that the Professor's heart did not give out at that moment, or anytime later. I went on to detail how he had offhandedly picked up words, phrases and then a sentence or two from me, just from observation.
Then, Oak asked me a question that I was almost embarrassed about.
He asked whether or not we had consummated. And, of course, I said yes.
I am at least thankful he is so open-minded, as I was not expecting it to be nearly that easy to break it to him. I was both homosexual and dating outside of my species. It was probably the fact that Nidoking was obviously not just a brainless, unsophisticated wild beast that made it somewhat easier for him to accept.
Of course, he didn't bring up anything about wanting a demonstration, nor did I offer.
As I explained all of this and the rest of my education amongst the Nidoran, he was documenting it in a large notepad. He was almost ready to leave and say goodbye when I told him the one promise I wanted made: That nothing at all about Nidoking and I would ever go beyond us 3.
He accepted, and almost asked who the third individual was, but quickly figured it out, and left with a goodbye salutation.
Now, along with my lover and education about Nidoran, I had the fact that this was going toward better understanding of Pokemon to be happy about.
I'd like to think that was the first real high point of my life.

-----------------------

November 1st- I took time to observe All Saints' Day that day with a 5-minute prayer vigil. During that time, Nidoking walked up beside me and prayed with me. I was not certain whether or not he understood the concept of religion, but if it would afford him the same peace it has me, I was determined to spend much time teaching it to him. I wanted him to have a full life outside of his instinctual existence, since it's obvious he has the intelligence to learn things other than what he is accustomed to.
Strangely enough, I had not observed any intelligent behavior up to par with him in any of the other Nidoran. At the time, I thought that maybe all mature male Nidoran gain a dramatically high degree of intelligence, or maybe this particular one was just gifted with a little more potential...
Once I was done with the vigil, I gave him a hug to show my affection. He then said something that made my heart leap: "I love you too." I was... Stunned, to say the least. What started as something equal to a simple crush had grown to romance.
We kissed once again, and he gave me a back rub, something I didn't know he even knew how to do.
I was now certain I could spend a lifetime with him and never exhaust the endless supply of surprises he had for me.

-----------------------

December 31st- Ah, New Year's Eve. I found it hard to keep track of the days lately, as I was very preoccupied with the young male I had first befriended. He was beginning to act strangely, and I had no idea why. He didn't appear to be sick, and he was definitely not hungry or tired, as he had eaten earlier that day and had slept a moderate amount the previous night.
His behavior was similar to that of a cat high on catnip. He would race around, bite at the air and chase anything and everything that moved. His pupils were dilated, and his heart rate was clearly above what should be normal for a mammal his size.
Later in the day, I was shocked to see something that never crossed my mind.
He began to evolve, from Nidoran male to Nidorino. His legs and horns lengthened, his face shape and appearance changed, and his color gradually turned from pink to purple. His ears also shortened slightly.
Never before had I heard of a Pokemon evolving that had no prior battle experience whatsoever. I could only hypothesize that, in the wild, age acted as experience points toward evolving... Maybe not from second to final-stage, but from first to second-stage. However, it was quite possible that it was true for both occurrences of evolution within one individual, as Nidoking and Nidoqueen both result in captivity from exposure to Moon Stones, and Mt. Moon was nowhere near here, so the adults could not have been exposed to Moon Stones even once during their lifetime.
From what I could tell, I had met the young Nidoran male when he was his equivalent of age 5-8. Now, he seemed to exhibit behavior suggesting his age was somewhere around the equivalent of 15-16. It had only been just over one year since I had discovered him, so assuming that the aging process was smooth and unchanging, a natural lifespan for a male might be similar to that of a dog... But that couldn't be right, since I knew trainers that had possessed Nidokings and Nidoqueens for upwards of 20 years. Perhaps the younger ones aged more quickly and the process gradually slowed as they grew up, or maybe the aging rate changed with each evolution?
This was something that would take both observation of a complete life cycle AND possibly complex monitoring and estimation, none of which I was able to do in my present location. I decided to postpone any study of aging until I returned to society.
There was no doubt in my mind then that I was going to return. As much as I enjoyed spending my days out in the elements, it had, from time to time, grown increasingly boring, and I thirsted for many of the luxuries I had once known. I felt almost as if I were trapped on a desert island, with only food, water and a few friends to keep me company.
I pondered my fate as I sat with Nidoking, who was eating some of my last standard rations, a cantaloupe. I didn't know why I brought it, since I hated cantaloupe, so I decided to let him have it. He liked it.
I was in a depressed state, almost like a withdrawal. He finished off the cantaloupe and turned to me.
"What's wrong?", he asked.
"You wouldn't understand."
"Oh. Can I hold you?"
"Sure."
At least that would cheer me up, him cuddling me like a giant teddy bear. The feeling of my body against his was invigorating, and it allowed me to think more clearly.
I must have lied there in his arms pondering for hours, pondering about what I might do if I ever had to leave. This had become home to me, but I was still dissatisfied. Much the same as it is animal instinct to seek out those of its own species, God gave every human basic needs and urges; hunger, thirst, sex and the need to be around other humans. And as much as any human could be different from another, no matter how many bonds could be broken, those basic needs were one thing all humans shared, and will continue to share until the world ceases to exist, whether brought down by Tribulation or the unswayable entropy of culture and the human mind.
Then, it dawned on me, like being struck by a white-hot bolt of lightning.
Pokemon were always used as pets or security or hobbies, but if I had an intelligent Pokemon capable of human speech, why couldn't I take him with me and introduce him to society?
It would be wonderful, to have at least some form of human contact and luxury and still be able to keep my closest friend.
Of course, this was in no way a watertight scheme. There was no doubt Nidoking was intelligent, humanlike and capable of learning, but how far could it go before he either ran out of learning potential or simply overloaded? He had never had one inkling of experience with even the simplest of human culture. How could he handle the unspoken and unwritten codes of politeness and behavior? How could he cope with the meaningless for never-faltering ideology of fads, and being "cool"? What about religion, which I still did not know whether or not he understood? Could I ever teach him to function in my world?
The rest of the Nidoran community were out of the question. They were good to study, but I shared no deep bonds with them like I did with Nidoking. He was the only one that had shown me kindness and any clue about his intelligence. They definitely could not function, but it was definitely not out of the question for him.
I decided to sleep on it... And I did. For several weeks. And finally, after much deliberation, I decided I was going to take a chance.

That was where the journal ran out, because I no longer felt any need to write down progress. My only concern now was Nidoking, and his future in the world I knew before.

*Puts down the old book and shoves it back under the bed*

I was sure that Professor Oak could get any information he wanted from those pages, no matter how much time he could spare researching further on his own. Now, I had an objective besides study.
Of course, this was all assuming that Nidoking wanted to go... And he would need to be informed of what all he would be up against for him to have an opinion I could take seriously.
I suggested it, and the conversation went like this:

Me: Nidoking, you know I love you, and since I do, there's something I want to ask you.
Him: Go ahead, I'm listening.
Me: I can't stay here forever, and I think you know that. I have my own life in a place called civilization. There, things are much more complicated than they are here. Do you understand what I'm saying?
Him: Yes, I do.
Me: *sigh* If only I could be sure... You talk fluently and communicate wonderfully, but I know the state you were once in, and I'm not sure you even know what all of the words I speak mean...

He then took my chin in his hand, and turned my head towards his. His smile was so wide and benevolent, I could tell just by looking at him that he knew everything I was talking about.

Me: Oh, Nidoking... In civilization, there is religion, moral code, manners, customs, war, segregation, pain and suffering, media, so many things that would be impossible to describe. You may be smarter than me and more easy to reacclimatize, but I don't want to risk taking you somewhere that could only cause you problems...

He then drew close and kissed me.

Him: Let me put it this way: Before you came, I was little more than a beast who ran on instinct, guarding a herd of my species that I had no real connection to at all.
Me: So, it's true. You didn't sire all of these Nidoran.
Him: No. In my species, once a male reaches adulthood, he will break free from the community and wander sometimes for years, looking for a new herd, going by smell. Once he finds one, if the alpha male is elderly he will challenge him to fight for the right to rule the community. If he wins, he gets to stay. If he doesn't, he dies.
Me: Wow... That must be horrible, having to not only leave where you grew up forever, but to fight and kill an innocent man for control of his own community.
Him: Yes, it is. And only after I met you did I realize how awful it really is. I learn things from you much faster than you thought I did, but I held back because I knew what you were expecting, and I didn't want to shock you, much like you worry what my reaction will be when I enter your world, beyond these forests.

I was speechless for several seconds, but I finally managed to reply.

Me: I love you, Nidoking.
Him: I love you too.
Me: And when I find a way, I'm taking you back to my own place, my own home, and we can be together for life, and forever after that!
Him: I can't wait. I could desire nothing more.
We then kissed again, and held each other tightly.
It was decided beyond a shadow of a doubt. As soon as I came across the means, I would take Nidoking with me, back to civilization and a new life for him.

It was 3 more months before Oak came back, which was the first chance we had to go back to the inhabited parts of Johto.
I had lived in Petalburg with my Mother all of my life before I had come to live with the Nidoran. Now that I was 19 (My 19th birthday had passed without noting in my journal) I felt the need to find my own house, my own paying job, and start a life for myself.
I hailed Oak as he came over the mountains, the first time he had seen me actually WANT to talk to him in my present element. Nidoking held me up so I could be seen more clearly.
Oak landed the helicopter several yards away from me. Nidoking put me down and stood beside me, and a conversation once again ensued:

Oak: What are you so eager to see me about?
Me: I'm ready to leave.
Oak: Great! Jump in the back and I'll take you back to Petalburg! Your mother has been missing you a hell of a lot since you left. I didn't want to bring it up before I knew you were returning.
Me: Alright, but there are two stipulations. Right, Nidoking?
Nidoking: Right. First of all, I'm going back with him.

I didn't know whether the Professor was more stunned at Nidoking speaking perfect English, or the fact that he was going to leave with me. Either way, he immediately denied it.

Oak: There's no way Nidoking could go back with you. You know for a fact a Pokemon that lived with you as an equal, let alone a sexual partner would be immediately taboo and the subject of ridicule, insult and maybe even hate crimes. The world isn't ready for-
Me: I'm ready. And who says anyone has to know? I'll keep it under wraps, and Nidoking can behave like a normal, submissive Pokemon. Couldn't you, hon?
Nidoking: Wouldn't be any problem for me. I would cut off my cranial horn if it meant getting to be with you.
Me: Thanks, sweetie. You see, Professor? It could work. And you will help me pull it of, or you can just forget about ever seeing me again. If you deny this request, you might as well not come back to check up on me. I can take care of myself. You know I'm good for it.

Oak heaved a long sigh and seemed to be carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. For a few minutes, I even wondered if he was conscious, or had simply fallen asleep on his feet. But soon his head jerked back up, and he looked at me.

Oak: I suppose it wouldn't do any harm. But, you said there were TWO stipulations, correct?
Me: Correct.
Oak: Then, what's the other one?
Me: You help me find a job that actually pays. Being "lost" in the middle of nowhere isn't exactly a good portfolio for any employment, and having you recommend me would boost my chances of finding a good job by magnitude.
Oak: You really think I could pull any strings with anything you could possibly want?
Me: I already have something in mind, providing that job still even exists... It has been a while. Besides, you are the greatest Pokemon professor that ever lived. Everyone recognizes you, and as an authority figure to boot.

I could tell inflating his pride was the right thing to do.

Oak: Well, that IS true. What were you thinking of trying?
Me: I could be Verdanturf gym leader, providing they still don't have one. I took the separate education that qualified me to be one a year before I came here. All I would need to do would be to submit my request to the Verdanturf city council, and if they were ready to accommodate more trainer traffic due to a new gym leader, I could present my Pokemon and the reason why I think I'm qualified.
Oak: That's all well and good, but... I think you're forgetting one thing.
Me: What? What could I possibly be forgetting?
Oak: The only Pokemon you have is Nidoking, and since he was raised in the wild, completely unchanged by man, he doesn't have any elemental moves, or prior battle experience. His stats could be horribly low.

I walked up closer to him to convey a point.

Me: How do you know? If anything, I know more about him than you ever could. I spent two goddamn years of my life living with him and all of his community. I think, if anything, he doesn't HAVE stats, and he doesn't need them. What he lacks in technical Pokemon ability he could more than make up for in battle instinct and physical strength. He doesn't need any human-labeled "Attack" or "Defense" or "Speed" to dictate how well he does in battle. It would be no different than, say, boxing or wrestling. All that comes into play is his physical ability, how alert he is and how good his reflexes are. With that, he could avoid any attack and deal back a heavy blow that wouldn't just deplete a Pokemon's HP to fainting... He would knock them unconscious.
Oak: ...And possibly injure them too. Did you ever think of that?

My mouth jerked open. He was right. I couldn't risk actually hurting other Pokemon. That would be horrible and inhumane. Besides, Nidoking told me himself he hated to hurt and kill other males in his instinctual search for another Nidoran community. He would never agree to what I proposed, and now that I thought about it, I wouldn't either.

Me: Y-you're right, Oak. I wasn't thinking clearly.
Oak: It's alright. We all make mistakes in our judgment. Now that this has come to light, do you really think Gym leader would be an appropriate job for you?
Me: I... Guess not.

It was that moment I felt my lifelong dream crushed like a bug under a boot. I couldn't expect my life to be a fairy tale, and this often happened to everyone.

Me: Well, what do YOU think I'd be good at?
Oak: Well... You spent years researching animals, and then years actually LIVING with Nidoran, observing their every action. Besides, you started out as my apprentice.
Me: My being an apprentice was only to watch you and learn more about Pokemon, like a college education.
Oak: I know... But what you've done yourself I could never have had the willpower to do, nor the time... And, in my opinion, I think you would make a great Pokemon Professor.

My heart leaped at the suggestion. I never thought of that before.

Me: You really think I could be one?
Oak: Professor Elm went through an expensive education at the Johto Academy, and despite how many years he spent there, he only learned things that were already known. You, on the other hand, have forged new boundaries of Pokemon knowledge, and in some ways dispelled the boundaries of what we think we can possibly know, and in half the time it took him to pay tuition for old hat. You are much more qualified, in my opinion, than he was or is. And this is one field in which I REALLY know of which I speak, and could influence anyone who could decide whether or not you become a Pokemon Professor.

I was speechless... Utterly, completely speechless.

Oak: You should think very seriously about whether you want to spend the rest of your life fighting low-grade trainers that will never amount to anything, or choose to spend it in service of the very beings you love so much. And think about this: Nobody makes fun of a Professor, no matter what relationships he chooses to pursue, and you could very well be the one to introduce Pokemon/human relations to society as a positive thing rather than a negative. You could very well make the difference. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. If you really need time to consider this, I could go and return in, say, a week or so.

I was so caught up in the moment, I almost wept. Nidoking sensed this, and held me close. I was so excited; I couldn't help but allow my emotion to burst forth like a dam in an earthquake. I was laughing and crying at the same time, both profusely.

Nidoking: I think what he's trying to say is, he doesn't need time to make up his mind. He'll do it.
Oak: I can understand how close you two are, but I really need the answer from him.

I calmed down relatively quickly after hearing that. It was not that I felt any less emotion, but my willpower curbed it temporarily, long enough for me to say I would love to pursue that career.

Oak: Then it's decided. You two can hop in the back, but no close snuggling, OK?

I laughed at that joke. Oak was such a wise and understanding individual, I felt genuinely sorry for the almost cold way I had treated him the previous times we had met in that place.
We all climbed in the copter, Nidoking and I in the back, Oak in the pilot's seat. I couldn't help but ask something.

Me: Uh, Professor, don't you need a co-pilot?
Oak: Nope. This baby is custom-built, remarkably simple to operate! Runs like a dream!
Me: Oh... Alright.
Me: (To Nidoking) In all the years I've known him, I never thought I'd hear him talk about a machine like a mechanic.
Nidoking: Doesn't seem much like that kind of guy to me, either.

It was only a matter of minutes before we set down in Petalburg, my home town. Two things to do: Show Nidoking around, introducing him to his first bit of human society, and to visit my mother, whom I felt guilty for leaving so long. I was sure she would be near-hysterical, and probably scold me like a little child.
My house was only a small distance from where we landed. Petalburg was a compact town, built in an area not much larger than Russia's Red Square.
As I walked up to the door of my old house, my mind suddenly ran seemingly at the speed of light over many, many memories that were first created here.
This was the place that I was introduced to my first Pokemon, when I was 6 years old. It had been years, but the memory was still as fresh in my mind as if I had only experienced it days before.
It was a gift from my father living in Kanto. He sent me a male Bulbasaur for Christmas, 1990. It was a frisky little critter, and I kept it as a pet until It came up missing when I was 12. I never found out what happened to him, and I doubt I ever will.
Then, there was the time I took my first bicycle ride. I was 9, and Rydel let me try out one of his cycles, just to get me accustomed to riding. I was immediately off, cruising down the path, then down the road... Straight between two trees at the shoulder and into a pond. And it was November, too. I shivered all day, but didn't go in to change my clothes until I had mastered riding. Thank God it didn't take too much longer, or I might've gotten hypothermia.
As the memories waned in intensity, I quickly realized I was standing on the doorstep, and had not knocked yet.
I quickly did so, and in only a short moment my mother answered the door. She still looked exactly the same as I remembered her, the only difference being her beaming look of surprise and joy at seeing me standing at the door for the first time in two years. She was so surprised and happy, in fact, that she neglected to acknowledge Nidoking for some time, though he was standing right beside me.
I can still remember her exact words as she greeted me:
"I'm not going to snoop into what you've been doing, since you're an adult now. I'm just glad you're home."
She then hugged me around the neck and showed me in. I briefly noticed her wrists looked bruised, but I was too busy to really think about it.
The living room was exactly as I remembered it, save for one small item perched on the coffee table I didn't recognize; a portrait of Mom with a rather good-looking man about her age... Whom I had never seen before.
I immediately asked her who it was. She tried to beat around the bush at first, but finally conceded to tell me.
"Since your father and I divorced long ago, I started dating again as soon as you left, and found him. Sorry, honey, I know this may come as a big surprise to you, but I remarried six months ago."
I was, needles to say, shocked. I hadn't expected anything like this. Before I left a few years ago, I had been noticing Mom's loneliness, but I honestly didn't think she would ever quite be ready to forget my father enough to find another husband.
Nidoking was standing beside me, and sat me down on the couch seeing as how the news hit rather hard.
Mother proceeded to tell me how he, Steven, had met her when she went to the grocery store. She had dropped a can of mexicorn in front of him, and they both tried to reach for it at once. Their eyes met. To her, it was like a storybook romance.
Confidentially, I had seen grade-school plays that were less cheesy. But, as long as she was happy, I was happy for her.
She had just finished telling about the wedding when she finally noticed Nidoking.
"Uh... Dear, you have a Pokemon friend? Oh, I'm so sorry! It's terrible rude of me not to have noticed. What's his name?"
Before I could answer, Nidoking did, by stating his name and bowing. Mom, in her ignorance, applauded and asked me how long it took me to teach him how to do that.
"I didn't teach him, Mom", I replied. "He learned on his own. He's pretty much a step up from remarkably intelligent."
"Oh? Well, I'm so happy for you! I'm sure you've taught him to say alot of different words! Does he know any tricks?"
I was shaking my head, forehead against my hand, blushing with embarrassment. The 'King, though, always seemed to have a way to surprise me, or anyone else, for that matter.
He promptly turned to her and, I swear to God, stated these following words:
"Madam, I can assure you I am nothing remotely close to a canine, feline or any other lowly animal. I am a reasoning, intelligent individual, who happens to be a Pokemon. If you prick me, do I not bleed? If you tickle me, do I not laugh? If you poison me, do I not die?"
It took me only around 5 minutes to revive Mom. She was never prone to fainting before...
Well, regardless, they had been introduced, and I got the chance to get caught up on what had occurred in my lengthy abscence, though most all of it is really not necessary to mention here.
I DID get the chance to tell Mom about what I planned to do with my life. She had the reaction I expected. First, spekticism, then encouragement, then faith. It was her own version of a 3-step program, and I had seen her use it in hundreds of situations over my lifetime.
After she served me a good meal (Which I was able to show my gratitude for by washing the dishes, and Nidoking dried them afterwards) and allowed me time to settle in to my own home again, I promptly began working toward becoming a Pokemon professor.
Mind you, I say "immediately began", because that is exactly what I did. I didn't just call this place and that, finding out what I would need to do. As I did so, I was evincing my own methods of study, taking notes, even writing my goals in every way I could think of. I was not content to sit on my ass and do nothing, not after I was aware of my calling.
It took only a few days to get it all sorted out. In order to become an official Pokemon professor, I would have to take a test. Of course, this wasn't going to be your run-of-the-mill S.A.T. No, this would make that look like the kindergarten entrance exam. 1,238 questions in an 8-hour time limit. Most secretaries never had to file through paperwork in any amount equal to that, in sheer workload or time alotted. At least, that was the end-all solution to my problem, nothing else was really needed.
Imagine a high-hurdles running track, standard from events like the triathalon or summer olympics. Only, instead of several 3-foot hurdles, you are given one 30-foot one.
If you have a clear mental picture of that, you can pretty easily imagine my situation.
Of course, this wasn't going to sway me, even if the studying for it took me years. Amazing Proffessor Oak never told me about that... He must've hated it so much he either forgot as a self-defense measure, or simply liked me so much he didn't want to unload on me... Or maybe when he had become a Pokemon professor, he hadn't had to deal with that.
In any case, I went to the local Pokemon library, and checked out 3 books about the size of a medical dictionary, study bible or New York phone book. Suffice to say, I was not looking forward to this.
I remember when I first took those books home and laid them down in my upstairs bedroom, I looked at what I had in front of me and almost had a panic attack. I might've gone off, too, were it not for who walked up the stairs behind me.
My sweetie, wearing a brand-spanking-new gold chain necklace.
"Damn", I remember saying, "That looks WICKED!" (You'll have to forgive the slang.)
He thanked me and laid down on the bed, as I did, after moving the books. His long purple tail curled around my abdomen.
"So", he said, "I take it you have a bit of studying to do?"
"You know it", I sighed. "The thing I always hated most about school was... School."
He chuckled. "I like your wit. As well as a few other things you possess... Are you sure you'll be able to pull this off?"
"All I know is, I've GOT to... I can feel it in my blood. Wanting to be a Pokemon professor has far eclipsed any childhood fantasy of mine. I want to be able to understand your kind more...-"
I then paused, looked at him and smiled.
"-You know, since you ARE a Pokemon, and a damned smart one too... You wouldn't consider being my assistant if I DO become an official Professor, would you?"
Nidoking pondered this for a moment, then leaned up and kissed me on the cheek.
"I would be more than honored to be your assistant. To help humans better understand Pokemon, and to be near you all the time... It's a win/win situation, no matter how you look at it. Count me in."
He put his hand on my back and rubbed it up and down softly and slowly. I couldn't help but grin.
"Thanks, hon. This means almost everything to me."
"Almost?"
"YOU are the one that's really worth it all."
"Oh, baby..."
He leaned up all the way, and we passionately kissed. He laid back down and invited me to use his belly for a pillow, just like I had before. I accepted the invitation openly, got my books and laid my haed on his soft, white torso. Pillows with fiscoelastic memory cells be damned, I thought.
I had just began to read the preface to the first book when I heard- and felt- Nidoking laugh.
"What is it, love?"
"I was just thinking... I first came onto you when I hardly knew your language, so little I dared not try to speak it, lest I mangle it worse than the Japanese. And now, look at us. An almost picture-perfect couple. Do you believe in destiny?"
I leaned up and stared into those big beautiful blue eyes of his.
"It's like Don Williams said. I believe in love, I believe in babies, I believe in Ma and Pa, and I believe in you. So, yes."
Nidoking hugged me tightly and I laid back down on his stomach. He said one more thing:
"I wouldn't have expected you to reply with the lyrics from a '70s country love song. We're alot alike, and I wouldn't've used that colourful example."
"Well," I replied, "Maybe I'm not as predictable as you thought. You certainly weren't."
Nidoking smiled and stroked the side of my head lovingly, twirling his fingers in my hair. I hadn't cut it in two years, and if he liked it, I wasn't going to.
This was what real love was like, I realized. If you really matter to each other, no compromise really means anything if it gets in the way of your love. It could shrink any mountain to an anthill.
At that moment, I finally realized that, with him, I could do anything, be anything. I could reach for the stars, and he would be there to hold me up and support me.
My Nidoking and I... For all eternity we would be together, no matter what.
The rest of that evening, I studied as hard as I could, through a plethora of information, mostly conveyed in college-level English, of which I was just barely familiar with enough to understand and grasp the gist of the books.
In them was in-depth information about Pokemon types, stat calculations, diversification values, the shiny mutations, even little-known unconfirmed myths such as the Pokerus... Things you would never see taught in normal school, at any level. These were all things only Pokemon professors knew of, and I was learning it all, just like one of them... Which, of course, I was going to be, and someday I could apply my own hands-own experiences to my work.
Little did I know that, reading 100 pages a day, it would take me 6 months to finish all 3 books. For most of the time, everything stayed pretty much in routine, nothing really distracting me for any lengthy period of time.
There was one point, though, at which I decided to take a two-day hiatus, about 4 months into my studies. I had been loading my brain so much I couldn't turn it off. My eating, sleeping and relationship suffered, and nothing could be worth losing my sanity or mental control.
On the first day, I just laid on my bed, desperately trying to think of something other than Pokemon. Nidoking walked in, and I did the first thing to him I regretted.
I told him, in no uncertain terms, to "get the fuck out". I was so angry at that moment I had allowed my mouth to possibly completely destroy everything I had worked for.
My face went pale, and my lips trembled. I tried to speak, but nothing came out. I just sat there helpless as Nidoking walked out of my room, down the stairs and out the door. My legs were wobbly as I ran down the stairs after him. My mother noticed all of this, but I didn't have time to explain.
As I left the house, I saw him walking down the street as if he was furious, but I knew that inside, he was crying.
And it was because of me, and what I had done to myself, straining my mind to the breaking point going overboard with those books.
I remember immediately walking back in the house and up the stairs to my room in tears. I grabbed the books and walked back downstairs to the firepit. I raised them over my head to throw them in the fire. These meant so much to me and my future, but I was not going to jeapordize me and Nidoking's bond with them.
At that moment, I heard this: "STOP!!"
I dropped the books and looked over toward where I heard the word spoken. I saw Nidoking standing there.
"Don't do it", he said. "I understand how close you are to snapping, abnd I shouldn't've reacted the way I did."
I was literally sobbing by now.
"I'm sorry, but if these are just going to cause pain, they need to be destroyed."
"Have you forgotten these are borrowed books?"
I gasped. In my hysteria, I had forgotten.
"Besides," he continued, "The only reason that this happened, ONCE at that, is because you're working yourself too hard. You need to stop acting like you only have 3 months more to live. There's no deadline for taking the test to become a Professor.
"There IS, though, a deadline for turning those books in."
"So? Pay the fucking overdue charge, and that'll be that!"
I sighed deeply as I tried to dry up my tears.
"You just... Don't understand."
"No," He said as he walked up closer to me. "I understand completely. I understand that you're so god damned caught up in this you're killing yourself. If I didn't know better, I'd say you have an addiction, because the symptoms and reprocussions are exactly the same."
I looked up at him and wrapped my arms around him, completely losing my calm and cool again, exploding into sobs.
"There, there," he said as he rubbed my back softly. "You just have to learn to slow down. Don't let this ruin your life, because if you do, you DEFINATELY won't have a future. Understand?"
When I didn't respond immediately, he took my head in his hands and turned it toward him gently, staring down at me with his beautiful smile and a twinkle in his eye.
"Understand?"
I finally nodded.
"Good. Now, let's go get you calmed down. Everything's going to be fine."
I realized later that Mom had seen the entire scene, but didn't say one word. That was extremely unlike her.
It was about a half-an-hour later that she came up to the bedroom, where I has still sniffling, Nidoking holding me and brushing his fingers through my hair.
"Son," she said, "I wanted to talk to you. If you're still on edge, I could come back later."
"No, that's alright.", I said. "What do you have on your mind?"
"Honey, I think it's more what you have on yours. I didn't say anything because I know you're an adult now and it's really none of my business, but you and Nidoking seem very... Close."
I gasped. I quickly realized that I never told Mom about my relationship with him, and since she saw everything downstairs...
She continued. "You know that I would never pass judgement on you, don't you? If you have anything to tell me, I'm willing to listen."
God, this was going to take a huge amount of courage. I surmounted the obstacles of my subconscious inhibitions and emotional blockades, though, and allowed myself to be strong.
"Yes, Mom, I do. I'm... Gay, and Nidoking is my lover."
Mom took it better than I thought, no joke.
"I see. Well, I can see you two really love each other, and whatever makes you happy makes me happy. I'm glad I could count on you to be honest."
She left the room almost smiling, and I breathed a sigh of relief knowing that it was actually that easy.
I could tell that Nidoking was as surprised as I was, though not a word was spoken.
I laid down on his belly and looked up at his neck, at the chain necklace he wore. I couldn't think of anything that could possibly make him look better than that did, and I whispered that in his ear. We spent the rest of the evening just talking, about nothing in particular.
After the next day, which was spent in no notable fashion, I got back to reading again, only I cut down by half, deciding to read only 50 pages a day. It only took me two months more to finish everything, and I returned the books within one week of the overdue deadline.
Of course, all that was left to do afterwards was the one proverbial hurdle I feared. The actual test.
The morning it was scheduled to take place, I woke up early, around 8-ish. Plently of time to ready my body, and most importantly, my mind.
I immediately rolled over to Nidoking's side of the bed, hugged him and kissed him on the cheek. I didn't intend to wake him, as I often did this when I woke up, mostly because I loved him, partly to give me courage to face anything the day could throw at me. I didn't know at the time if it was an omen, but that was the first time I woke him up accidentally. He asked what it was, and I just told him he could go back to sleep. He was smart enough to take the opportunity.
I got up and got dressed, then headed downstairs to my breakfast. At least, Mom usually cooked it for me. It's not that I couldn't cook, but she always did things I could never do.
It was at that moment I realized that I was 19, had a partner but was still living at home with no car. Every teenage guy's worst nightmare. But, at that point I didn't have much time to spend turning it over in my mind. Today could very well be the most important day of my life.
I decided just to eat some corn flakes. As I poured them and got ready to eat, I saw Nidoking coming down the stairs. Strange, I thought he wanted to sleep longer.
"Hey", he said, "Save some for me, eh, sweetie?"
I smiled. "You got it, hon. Why didn't you stay in bed?"
"Ah, you know how it is. Once you're woken up, it's impossible to get to sleep again."
"No, I don't know how it is. I've never had that problem. For me, it's almost impossible to submit once I'm woken up. I must've given Mom hell when I was younger, trying to get me up for school."
"Ah. By the way, where is she?"
"I don't know. She didn't make anything for us to eat. That's why I'm in here doing this."
"Oh. Didn't she leave you a note or anything?"
"Not that I found."
As those words left my mouth, I noticed something stuck to the refridgerator. Probably wouldn't've seen it if I hadn't been looking for milk and orange juice.
It read as follows:

"Son,
I've gone out to breakfast with Steve. He's been away on a business trip for quite a while, and that's why you haven't seen him around the house at all. Once I get back, he's coming with me, so when you meet him, I want you to be on your best behavior.
As far as you and Nidoking being lovers, I suggest you not mention it to Steve. He's not very open-minded, and I'm afraid he might order you two to seperate. I know you're both adults, but he thinks that he has total dominion over this house, and I've stopped trying to argue with him. Just, be a model son for a first impression, alright? Just tell him Nidoking's your pet or something. I'm sure you'll think of something to say.
See you later,
Love, Mom."

Alright, I hadn't even thought of the fact that I hadn't seen my own stepfather at all, since I had been way too busy. And, of course, fate HAD to dictate I meet him toay, when my whole future might hinge on the test. I could only hope I could postpone our meeting until after I returned from confirmation later.
Nidoking asked what it said, and I told him. He didn't seem too happy.

"You mean, we're going to have to keep this COMPLETELY under wraps? I won't be able to hug you, or talk sweet to you, or even hint at anything in front of him?"
"It won't be that hard. Just think of it as keeping a secret about a Christmas present or something."
"Maybe you're forgetting I've never seen a human holiday?"
"Oh... Right. Well, still, you can do it. I mean, it took Mom several weeks to find out about us, and we weren't even trying to disguise ourselves."

Nidoking thought about this for a few seconds.

"Why do I ever doubt you?"
"Beats me."

I hugged him and gave him a peck on the cheek, then sat down and proceeded to eat.
Mom and "Dad" unfortunately showed up 5 minutes before I had to leave. Our dialogue consisted of the following:

"Hi honey! Did you get my note?"
"Yeah. I'm sorry I can't stay longer, but I have to go to take that test in just a few minutes. Tell Steve I'm sorry I couldn't stay long enough to-"
At that moment, a man walked in behind her. He looked like a middle-aged biker, with black hair in a ponytail, a leather jacket and faded jeans. The only thing was, he wore mirrored sunglasses.
"-Hey, sport! This must be your son, huh doll?"
*under my breath* "Doll? He calls my Mom doll?"
"So, how are you, son?"
*under my breath* "And he calls me 'son'." "Fine, I'm fine! Look, I'm sorry, but I have to go, now."
"Not so fast, goober! Where's the fire?"
"Nowhere. I just have to go and take an extended test of knowledge to be officially declared a Pokemon professor, and I've been studying for it for half a year."
"Studying? Oh man, you don't need that! Stay here and I'll get to know you!"
He gave me a noogie. God, I hate the word almost as much as I hate the sensation.
"Look, I'm sure you're a really cool guy and all, but the job I get for this could make me set for life, and to pass up this opportunity would just be madness. Come on, Nidoking."
Nidoking walked up behind me, and we started to leave when Steve grabbed Nidoking's hand.
"Hold on there, you've got a Pokemon? Awesome! What's his name?"
"Well... His species name is Nidoking, and I didn't bother to call him anything else. We can talk when I get back, OK?"
For a moment, Steve appeared to have had his feeling hurt. As I and Nidoking walked out, he called out behind us, "If you're such a cocky asshole, don't bother to come back!"
These words stopped me in my tracks for a few seconds, but I knew I had to make it to my appointment, and I couldn't wait any longer, so I cleared my mind of doubt and kept walking, as Nidoking did.
As soon as we were out of vision range, Nidoking walked up beside me and held my hand.

"Hey, what's troubling you?", he asked.
"I have this bad feeling about Steve... I don't think he's good for Mom."
"He seemed like a harmless punk to me."
"They all do, until you see it for yourself..."
"What do you mean?"
"Nidoking, there's something I never told you."
"I'm listening."
"When I first got back to the house with you months ago, I saw something on Mom that I didn't think about much, but now I'm pretty sure I know what it is."
"Oh no... What?"
"She had bruises all over her wrists. In that note, she said he had hone on a "business trip"... But my Dad used to do that, and she always called them "business vacations from home". Steve must've left just before I got there, maybe by a few days, maybe by a few minutes. Either way, I think he might be abusive."
"Honey, I'm concerned too, but I think you may be jumping the gun on this."
"I wouldn't've even remembered that or entertained any such notion if he hadn't said what he said when I was on the way out. A normal person would understand, and even if they didn't, they wouldn't've flared up and said anything like he did."
"You know, I think you're right. But now isn't the time. We have to get to the university."
"Why?"
"Because that's where they're conducting the test. You didn't know that?"
"No, but I knew you probably knew."
"Why would I? I don't know much of anything about being a professor compared to you, and the only reason I knew where the test was being held was because Oak mentioned it a while back, the last time you saw him. You don't remember?"
"No, I guess I don't. I've never been much for short-term memory, I suppose."
"Well, then you're lucky I remembered."
"No, I'm blessed, both that you remembered and that I know you at all.
Nidoking smiled. "Damn you, you always make me smile when I don't want to.", he kidded.
"Well, then consider me your jester."
He hugged me, and we walked on.

It was only a matter of minutes before we arrived at the university. I asked around and found out where I needed to go, the gymnasium. Since classes were not held there today, I suppose the people associated with my rise to professorship had taken it upon themselves to use a popular university facility. Well, hopefully it wouldn't smell too badly of ball rubber, shoe leather and sweat, like the gym I attended in private school.
We entered from the back of the school. If college was anything like high school, most smoking, cursing punks hung out at he front, and even though the private school brethren I had associated myself with much earlier in my life had never shown any "punk" animosity, I still preferred to distance myself from them and the like. I wasn't afraid of a confrontation, just not willing to put up with the mean, ignorant masses.
The entrance to the gymnasium was not far from the outside door. I looked in and saw the lights on. At least I hadn't taken a wrong turn.
We entered slowly, to see 2 men and a woman sitting in parallel chairs, all facing a single chair and desk. They immediately saw us, and invited me to sit down.
I took the empty desk seat, and Nidoking stood beside me.
"What is he doing here?", asked the woman, with an air of snippiness. She was 50-ish, with blondish-grey hair in a bun, and I could tell she was going to give me problems.
"He's... My friend. We go everywhere together."
"He's a Pokemon. They are not allowed to be present during this test."
"Why? Is it a conflict of interest?"
"Well, yes."
"*Sigh* You heard her, Nidoking. Meet me outside later."
The woman still didn't seem satisfied. One of the men, a heavyset, salt-and-pepper-beard, spoke before Nidoking could leave.
"You will be here for around six hours. I don't think letting him just wait outside the door would be very much fun for him. Does he know his way home?"
"Of course I know my way home..."
I froze. Nidoking had just spoken in front of them, something only Meowth were known to be capable of before. I was sure they would do something horrible, like take him to the government to be studied.
Thankfully, they didn't.
"Well, then, go, and come back around 4 PM.", the man continued, to Nidoking. "He'll probably be done by then."
Nidoking nodded and walked off, smiling at me as he did. I smiled back.
The other man, tall and skinny with brown hair, leaned forward slightly.
"We've heard terrific things about you from Dr. Oak."
"He's a doctor?", I asked, ignorantly.
"Yes, but not medically.", the man laughed. "He has a Ph.D., so he's technically 'Dr.', not 'Mr.'."
"Oh... Right. I forgot."
"I trust you've done the recommended amount of studying for this?"
"Yes, sir. 6 months with the 3 books I was told to complete."
"You should've only taken 4."
"I know, but I had to slow down about 3 months into it. The amount I had to absorb each day was too much to handle. Besides, this way it would be allowed to sink in and permeate my memory."
"Yes, well, I suppose. Well, no use wasting more time. Gladys, the papers, please?"
The woman got up out of her chair and walked over to a box sitting on the floor several yards away, which I had not noticed before. She pulled out a large binder.
She then walked up and dropped it onto the desk.
"You may open it to the first page", she said. I felt like I was doing my S.A.T.'s.
The details about the test were inside. there were 1,267 questions spanning 112 pages. Terrific. I hadn't had this much work in front of me since... Well, I had NEVER had this much work in front of me.
"Since it's very rare this test is used", the bearded man said, "we have plenty of time to make booklets for anyone that needs one, so you don't need to mark answers on a seperate sheet of paper. That should simplify it a bit, compared to what you're probably used to from your days in grade school."
It did help me breathe a sigh of relief.
"By the way," The man continued, "I'm just curious. How did you ever obtain a talking Pokemon?"
"I... Taught him to. He's not like every other Nidoking."
"Alright."
"Not at ALL," I said pleasantly under my breath.
"Do you need a pencil or pen?", he asked.
"Yes, please."
The man reached into his breast pocket and produced a fountain pen. He walked up and handed it to me.
"Due to the nature and organization of this test, cheating is impossible, so just a fair warning, don't even try."
"I won't."
"Good. You may begin when ready. Good luck."
I nodded, turned the page and placed the pen to the paper. Hopefully, two things wouldn't happen, me falling asleep, or becoming terminally bored.
It seemed like the longest eternity I had ever experienced, having to go through all of that material and remember all of those details, on and on and on. It seemed like it would never end.
Such questions as "What are diversification values most reliant upon?" and "Which Pokemon is infamous for causing a massive power outage in 1963?" combined logic, science and history. The first two I had never had problems with, but history had a tendancy to bore me to no end. I would rather learn how to think on my own than to learn what someone else had accomplished... But, then again, I had made history myself, being amongst the Nidoran for such a prolonged period of time, I could see that as being a conflict of interest, not to mention selfish.
I was required to score 85% or higher to receive my official practicing Pokemon professor license. There was only half as much margin for error as with normal tests, and I could see why.
I glanced at the clock every time I had the chance, seeing the minutes and eventually hours tick by as my brain did its own version of sweating.

*******************

I had just finished a particularly hard question when I turned the page, and found I had reached the end of the book.
I probably did the longest continual sigh of any human in history. And, as the three alumni had been watching me the whole time, it was plain to them I was finished.
"Well", the woman said, "All that's left to do now is score you."
She walked up to me and I handed her the finished test. As she walked into the back room, I could hear the hum of an automatic scoring machine.
I broke out in a cold sweat. This was truly my defining moment, were I ever to have a future in this.

*******************

It was only a matter of minutes before I would know. The seconds passed like miniature eternities, each one crawling along at an excrutiating pace.
I finally heard the machine turn off, and the woman walked toward me, holding a single sheet of paper.
She handed it to me, and with shaky hands I took it, my eyes scanning the page.
My score was 87. I had passed.
Words cannot describe the utter euphoria I felt at the time, something even marijuana junkies probably never knew. A feeling of great accomplishment, and pure, unadulterated joy.
I was able to stifle any outbursts of emotion very easily. I had never been one to lose control.
As I sat there, pretty much frozen, the woman spoke.
"Congratulations! That piece of paper is your ticket to a wonderful future as a Pokemon professor. I and my colleagues sincerely hope you will become very successful in research and study of Pokemon. You are free to leave now, and start your life. You are also eligible for a grant up to $50,000 to build and maintain your lab facilities anywhere in Johto for up to 2 years. And additional information you might need is on the bottom of the page. Good luck."
I got up slowly, shook her hand, thanked her, waved to the others and exited out the door I first came in.
I stepped around the corner and out of the university building. I looked down to check my watch. It was 3:54 PM. I figured I might as well go home. Nidoking was going to come back for me, but I could meet him halfway there.
I headed directly toward home, and at some point I remember seeing someone walking towards me. I walked faster, aticipating seeing Nidoking.
It wasn't him. It was Steve. And he looked really mad.
I immediately decided this was not a good time to talk to him, at all. Thankfully, he hadn't seen me, so I ducked out of sight behind a tree just off of the road.
It was about another 30 seconds before he walked past me. His hands were swollen, and his face was twisted into a grimace, the kind bikers wear when someone threatens them.
I waited until he was out of sight, then I went back out onto the road, and started to run back home, as fast asd my legs could carry me.
My mind was awash with a million different horrible scenarios. I knew what that look meant. Something bad had happened. Something very, very bad.
It was only a few minutes before I reached my doorstep and burst through.
Lying on the kitchen floor was my mother, her entire body bloody, her hair matted with it. I put my fingers to her neck to check for a pulse.
Nothing.
I stepped back in shock, and immediately burst into tears. Uncontrollable sobs. I couldn't believe what had happened. This was only a dream, I thought. It had to be... It just had to be.
Regardless to say, I didn't wake up. Not when Nidoking walked in and gasped at what he saw, not when I explained what had happened, or when he told me how he had left to pick me up before anything had obviously started. He wanted to blame himself for not being there to stop Steve, but I wouldn't let him. I knew he had no way of knowing what would've transpired, and he had no way to prevent it. There was no guarantee he would've been able to stop Steve if he HAD been there, or that he wouldn't've gotten seriously hurt himself, or worse.
The funeral was held a week later. I got to see my real father again when he attended. I told him how, but I couldn't tell him why. I don't think I would ever want to know the excuse.
I and Nidoking placed flowers on the casket before it was lowered into the ground, to be forever buried, as silent as a lone mountaintop in the midst of the most rural of places.
We left shortly after. I didn't want to stay any longer than I had to. It was much too painful.
The next day, the police began a search for Steve.
In the midst of the chaos, I sank into a deep depression. I feel sorry for Nidoking now, having to see me mope around the house, doing nothing with my life for weeks on end. He tried to cheer me up, but it didn't work. I barely ate or drank. I seldom slept or spoke. And I didn't engage in any kind of intercourse. I basically cut myself off from the world, Nidoking, my future, everything.
Then, more than a month after all of the events had transpired, came a light at the end of the tunnel.
They finally caught Steve holed up in a gas station bathroom in Idaho, hundreds of miles away. He was wasted on heroin and his blood alcohol content was 0.15. He died of blood poisoning and overdosing on drugs before he could be tried in court.
I had heard that was a horrible way to die. And perhaps that fact was the only thing that convinced me Mother had been avenged. Regardless, I gradually came back into the land of the living, so to speak.
My eating and sleeping habits returned to normal. I started talking more and more, and finally one night, I allowed myself to enjoy pleasure with Nidoking again. And I have never enjoyed any night more than that particular one. In many ways, it was no different than any other time, but it was like the rope that was thrown down, helping me climb out of the dank, rusty hole I had unwittingly imprisoned myself in, back into the sunshine and the rain, the good times and bad times, the irreversible, irrefutable rhythm of life.
The next day, I awoke bright and early to set off towards Pallet Town. Once I reached it, I talked to Oak and convinced him to help me on my grand project... My own lab facilities in Littleroot, only a few miles from my own home city, Petalburg.
On the way, I stopped my the university to fill out a few forms that would allow me to use the grant I needed. I wasd immediately approved, and with the money in hand, we proceeded to Littleroot, me, Professor Oak, and, of course, you-know-who.

*********************

The rest is pretty much simple and straightforward. The construction took six months, between getting the materials, following building codes, getting experts to review and approve the building, and getting it classified as a suitable base for my research. I was left with only around $500 after I acquired all of the technology and researching and documenting equipment needed to open my facilities. I gave Oak half for helping me so much, and I immediately started to write down everything I had learned before this was even an aspiration of mine... The adventures I had gone through, the sacrifices I had made, the end results.
I had intended it to be a historical narrative to be interwoven and incorporated into my occupation. I had no idea that the book deals would come. Soon, I was swimming in millions, with a bestseller to my name.
I arranged one booksigning, and went back to my real job. I had no intention to stop working, not since I had worked so hard to get where I was now. I gave most of my money to charity, and left just enough to keep the lab running and myself and Nidoking inside the cost of living.
Nidoking became my lab partner, and together we broke boundaries on the understanding of Pokemon again and again, from what I could learn from him and from what I could learn from small periods of co-habitation with other Pokemon species. Nidoking always went with me, communicating with the species in the way only he could. Despite all the years I have spent doing this intermittently, I have never met another Pokemon with nearly the capacity to learn like Nidoking had and has. Our discoveries still manage to crack the pages of National Geographic every so often, and a few awards have been given to our credit.
We, by the way, got married a year ago, at least it will be a year next Tuesday. We've never had any fights that I can recall, and I don't think we ever will. Right, honey?
*looks over at the figure in bed beside me, who just woke up moments before*
Yes, absolutely. I was sleeping, you know, sweetie.
*rubs his back slowly and gently*
I know, I'm sorry. If you need more rest, don't stop on my account.
*sits back*
And that is how I got to where I am now, just an ordinary, middle-class working man with a great past, a great partner and hopefully and great future.
I, Matthew T. Birch. Of course, you can just call me what most others do, professor Birch.

~THE END~