Author's notes: Okay, I was up late the other night watching 'Mewtwo Returns' because I had nothing better to do. After watching the part where the twerps drink the water from Purity River and comment on how good it tasted, (except for Ash, of course) I got an idea. A very twisted idea, I might add. Thus sat myself down at my computer and composed this short tale about exactly why, in my opinion, the water from Purity River tasted so good. What I write will not have the exact same dialogue as the movie, I couldn't be bothered memorizing exactly what the characters say. Anyway, read on if you're in the mood for a laugh.

Disclaimer: RARRRGGGGHHHH! ME NOT OWN POKEMON! ARRGGHH! ME NOT OWN TEAM ROCKET!!! GRARRRRAAHHH!!! BELONG TO NINTENDO AND JAPANESE GUY!!!!!! RARRRRAGGH! ME SMASH!!!!

God….I love disclaimers. No really, I do.

PURITY RIVER PEE.

A short story by Seveninchsprockets.

Luna Carson hefted the heavy bucket over the railing, grunting with effort as she plopped it down on the hard wooden surface, causing some of the buckets' contents to spill out. Taking a small metal drinking cup, she filled it halfway with the sparkling clear liquid and proffered it to Brock, who stared at it rather blankly.

"Here Brock." She coaxed gently. "Have a drink."

He took the cup from her, and raised it slowly to his lips, taking a small measured sip. For a moment his expression remained neutral, then all of a sudden his eyes lit up and he began crying hysterically, much to Ash's confusion.

"Oh, my goodness!" He twirled around on the spot and performed a ballerina-like jump in the air, making him look quite the poof. "This has got to be the most devastatingly delicious drink I have ever tasted!"

Misty rushed forward, eyes gleaming with anticipation. "Let me try!" She snatched the cup from his hands and took a generous swig. Pretty pink lights and sparkly things appeared in the background as her eyes became huge and owl-like. "Oh my!" She too, twirled around on the spot as though she were on speed. "This is utterly fantastic!"

Ash appeared unimpressed. "It's just water. What can be so good about it?"

Her water high broken, Misty turned on him angrily and thrust the cup into his hands. "Why don't you try it and find out?"

"Alright, I will!" Smugly he swallowed a mouthful, pondered, and then spoke with clear conviction. "Well, if you ask me it tastes like something has been swimming around in it."

Both his friends advanced on him furiously. "We should have expected you to say something like that!" Misty yelled, red-faced.

"Yeah!" Brock agreed. "You know what your problem is?"

"You have no taste!" They both cried in unison, poking him in the chest for good measure.

He growled in irritation. "Well, why don't we let the pokemon decide? I'm sure they'll be able to tell just how good this water is!" He shoved the cup at Pikachu. "Pikachu! Drink this!"

The rodent stared at the liquid with wide eyes, and then tried a tiny measure. It instantly fell into a sixties type drug trance. It had the same effect on Togepi.

"Well, it seems that four out of five water drinkers prefer Purity River water." Misty declared in triumph.

Ash growled. "Give me that." He snatched the cup from the hallucinogenic mouse and drained it of it's contents. His expression took on a thoughtful look.

"Yes?" Misty said hopefully.

"I take back what I said before."

"Really? So what's your opinion now?"

"It tastes like something's been peeing in it."

Misty screamed and tackled him to the ground. Brock followed suit, along with Pikachu and Togepi. Luna watched, amused, then shrugged her shoulders and decided to join in. Soon Ash was buried under a haystack of screaming, writhing bodies, driven mad by the mysterious effects of Purity River water.

**

"Ahhhh…"Further downstream, where he could not be seen from the cabin, James sighed with relief as he emptied the contents of his bladder into the clear waters of Purity River. "That feels so good." He lifted it into the air, creating a high arc. "Weeeeeeeeeeee! Hey Jessie! Look how high I can make it go!"

"That's wonderful James." She continued to flick casually through the latest edition of Cleo, not bothering to look up. Watching James urinate was not particularly interesting. Besides, she could hear him well enough anyway.

She kept reading. The steady trickle of James continued.

One minute passed.

Then two….

Then three….

Then five minutes.

The trickling continued.

"James! Are you still at it?"

"Uh huh."

She looked up in alarm. "Just how long have you been holding yourself?"

"Since we left Goldenrod."

She tsk-tsked, and looked back down on her magazine. "Honestly James. You shouldn't hold it for that long. You could end up rupturing yourself."

He gasped in horror, and looked down at himself. He looked back at her in confusion. "It doesn't look ruptured to me."

"Not that! Your bladder!"

"Oh." He was silent for a moment. "Nope. Feels okay to me."

Jessie rolled her eyes and continued to read.

"Weeeeeeeeeeeee! Look, I can make it hit that high branch!"

**

Mewtwo chowed down on Cheesy Poofs while watching the whole scene on his flat T.V screen thingy.

" Pikachu chu Pi." ~He's pissing in the river.~ The Pikachu clone commented dryly.

"So? What's your point?" The physic type replied nonchantly.

"Pika Pi, Pikachu Pi?" ~Aren't you gonna do something about it?~

"No"

"Pi." ~Oh~

"Why do you ask anyway?"

"Pikachu, Pika Pi Chu Pi Pikachu." ~Well, I thought that you would get all angry cause he's polluting the water by weeing in it.~

Mewtwo yawned. "I don't see why. I piss in it too."

The clone blinked in surprise. "Pika?" ~You do?~

Mewtwo snorted. "Well, yeah. You got a problem with that?"

The Pikachu sweat dropped. "Chu." ~N-no~

Mewtwo nodded in satisfaction, then leaned back in his chair and dug out another handful of Cheesy Poofs. "Stupid humans. Don't they know they shouldn't drink water from a river without boiling it first? It's their own fault." He shoved the handful into his mouth and then reached for the remote. "Alright. What else is on?"

FIN

Well, that was fun to write. I certainly hope you enjoyed it.

SiS