Pokemon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction ❯ The Hardest Thing ❯ Part one ( Chapter 1 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: TikiGoddess 
Ash goes to the Oak residence to talk to Gary and make him understand the way things are.
Anime/Manga: Pokemon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance | Type: Songfic | Uploaded On: 03.09.2003 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.7K | Visits: 731 | Status: Work In Progress
Ash goes to the Oak residence to talk to Gary and make him understand the way things are.
Anime/Manga: Pokemon Fan Fiction / Pokemon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance | Type: Songfic | Uploaded On: 03.09.2003 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.7K | Visits: 731 | Status: Work In Progress
THE HARDEST THING
by DemonCatBeastie
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters nor the song I got this idea from. suing me will not
get you anywhere, for I am seventeen and do not understand the legal system, much less
have the money to pay you. Well, I suppose I might, but I need new shoes and that has
priority over some dumb lawsuit. So ha.
I trudged up to Professor Oak's house, dreading what I had to do so much that my
stomach didn't have another direction to turn. My hands shook in my pockets, and I was
sure that the color had fled from my face and skin in favor of cramming into my heart,
forcing it to break. Breaking my own heart.
Damn me to hell.
This was going to hurt both of us. Gary, who had no idea what I was coming here
for, and me, who knew I was doing this and wanted to do nothing more than turn around
and run away. But I couldn't do that to him, not after all we'd been through, not without
some sort of explanation.
Even if the explanation was lame and the facade was clear as glass.
I approached the door and knocked gently, knowing that he would be the only one
awake at this hour, praying he couldn't hear it over the noise of the TV, that I could leave
a note that explained everything and that I wouldn't have to confront him face to face.
The door swung open, and he grabbed my shoulder and pulled me in.
There was a blur of house lights and front hall, and then nothing but Gary's face in
front of mine, eyes half closed as he leaned in to kiss me, and then I closed my eyes and
gave in. I didn't want to give this up, not for the world, but somehow I didn't think Misty
would appreciate having to share me with Gary.
I don't know how long we were like that, but my brain eventually took over and
made me force him off before I lost myself, before I changed my mind, before I suggested
something ludicrous as a means of escape from my future.
But I couldn't do that, and I knew it. I couldn't leave my mother behind, or my
friends, for one person, even if he could have been the love of my life.
"Gary... We can't see each other anymore. This has to stop."
He looked at me, teasing expression melting to hurt confusion. "What do you
mean? Why?"
"You know why, Delia will kill both of us if she finds out. As much as she loves
me, she's not gonna like me leaving my girlfri-" I stopped, sighed, raised my left hand to
indicate the engagement ring "-my fiancee in favor of a guy."
His eyes widened in shock, then he glared. "You proposed?" He looked ready to
spit at me in disdain.
"No, she did," I defended, "And with my mother standing in the next room doing a
terrible job of pretending not to listen, I couldn't just say 'Sorry, Misty, it's not that I
didn't have the initiative, really it's that I'm secretly meeting Gary for love romps all
across the map', you know?" I sighed, leaning back against the door. "I can't believe the
'out training' excuse lasted as long as it did..."
Gary turned his back to me, obviously fuming. I scanned my brain for anything
helpful to say, but nothing came.
"Why don't we run off?" Gary suggested, but the tone in his voice told me he
knew that it was a bad idea. "Go somewhere no one knows us. Leave this stupid little
town and get far away. It couldn't be that hard..."
"You know we can't do that, you're the only able-bodied person helping Professor
Oak around here, and abandoning my mother is just cruel."
"We could stay here, then, you could just lay low for a while, not go out during
day light hours or something until Misty leaves and send a note to your mom telling her
not to worry-"
"Yeah, leave it up to Radio Mom to keep a secret like that, come on, Gary! As
much as I wouldn't mind being locked in the bedroom all day, do you really think that's a
good idea?" I was starting to sound a bit harsh, but I couldn't help it. As much as I cared
for Gary, I couldn't be so irresponsible, not like this.
Gary turned to face me, anger seeping from him in waves so hot I could feel it,
eyes bright with tears he was desperately trying not to shed. "Don't you care about what
we have at all?" He was striving not to shout, but I could tell he wanted to. "Forget that
stupid girl! What do you need her for? You have me!"
"Now you're sounding like a brat," I told him, hardening my expression. "Gary,
this is not all about you, there are way more people involved in this, you know that!"
He slapped me so hard I hit the floor. When I looked up, the tears were falling.
"Why can't it be about just you and me? Why can't it be about us, forget those
other people who would be so jealous of something so precious if they only knew about
it?" His shoulders shook with contained rage and pain. I pulled myself to my feet, stared
him in the eye, and slapped him right back. He staggered back, but didn't fall. I didn't
have the heart to hit him as hard, or maybe he was stronger than me. I tried to ignore the
surprise on his face as I told him "Nothing precious lasts forever, and you know just as
well as I do that our families rely on us more than anything. You know they wouldn't
accept this." That's when I realized I was crying, too.
"How can you say that when you've got the same tears I do?!" Gary half-sobbed.
"Shut up!" I snapped back, unable to think of something more intelligent.
"Don't tell me to shut up, you moron!" He punched my shoulder hard. "Don't you
dare come here and tell me to shut up!"
"Don't hit me!" I shot back, punching forward and landing it on his ribs.
"Fuck you!" His fist connected with my cheek, and then it turned into a real
brawl. I kicked forward, hitting his thigh just above the knee, to which he responded with
a supressed shriek of anger and launching forward towards my stomach, elbow first. I
knotted up my stomach muscles, but it still hurt, and the impact threw me off balance and
we hit the floor. The tile in the front hall was cold, but neither of us cared; we were too
busy trying to draw blood. Teeth bit down into my shoulder. I grabbed his hair and pulled
back and up, using my other hand to push his shoulder and flip him onto his back next to
me, rolling on top of him with my knee at his groin and pinning his wrists next to his head.
He shifted somehow, and the next thing I knew the positions were reversed; I had
forgotten how fast he was. He rested his knees on the floor on either side of my waist, his
feet between my legs, and he leaned back to pin me down completely.
Both of us sat still, trying to catch our breaths.
"Why are you doing this?" He asked softly, sobs still undertoning his words. Tears
were still rolling freely. I turned my face away from his. I felt his body shake, and then
felt him lean forward. I could see from the corner of my eye that his eyes were closed
tightly, still trying to stop the tears, and brushed his cheek against mine. "Are you really
trying to destroy both our lives?" He chuckled lightly through the pain lacing his voice.
"Over her, of all people?" I closed my eyes tightly, trying to block out the sensation of his
breath on my neck, his lips brushing over skin. "Is this really what you want? What you
need?"
I considered trying to move, realized that I couldn't, not with him sitting on top of
me like that. I heaved a sigh. He spoke again: "You never were good at being honest with
your feelings..."
I screwed my eyes shut tight, trying to block him out; all that did was make it
easier to feel where he was, what he was doing, and all I wanted to do was give in.
"I don't want her," I conceded finally, and I could feel the delight radiating off of
him. "But I can't just say no, not now."
"You would rather betray your lover and yourself in favor of preserving the
feelings of a girl who would be happier with someone who could honestly love her?"
"Shut up," I whispered, because I knew he was right and I knew I would hate
myself later, and I could feel the tears building up again and all I wanted to do was run
away where none of this people could touch me again-
Lips against mine, hands releasing their grip on my wrists to caress my face and
neck, and of their own accord my hands went to his waist and hair, oh that hair that had
no sense of direction and seemed only to beckon for me to lose my fingers in it, lose
myself in him and never want to be found, that smell that was purely his and that no stupid
girl could ever replace.
I cried good and hard, then.
He stood up, wrapping his arms around my upper torso and lifting. "Let's go get
cleaned up," he said, and I nodded. We would definitely be sharing the shower.
*
by DemonCatBeastie
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters nor the song I got this idea from. suing me will not
get you anywhere, for I am seventeen and do not understand the legal system, much less
have the money to pay you. Well, I suppose I might, but I need new shoes and that has
priority over some dumb lawsuit. So ha.
I trudged up to Professor Oak's house, dreading what I had to do so much that my
stomach didn't have another direction to turn. My hands shook in my pockets, and I was
sure that the color had fled from my face and skin in favor of cramming into my heart,
forcing it to break. Breaking my own heart.
Damn me to hell.
This was going to hurt both of us. Gary, who had no idea what I was coming here
for, and me, who knew I was doing this and wanted to do nothing more than turn around
and run away. But I couldn't do that to him, not after all we'd been through, not without
some sort of explanation.
Even if the explanation was lame and the facade was clear as glass.
I approached the door and knocked gently, knowing that he would be the only one
awake at this hour, praying he couldn't hear it over the noise of the TV, that I could leave
a note that explained everything and that I wouldn't have to confront him face to face.
The door swung open, and he grabbed my shoulder and pulled me in.
There was a blur of house lights and front hall, and then nothing but Gary's face in
front of mine, eyes half closed as he leaned in to kiss me, and then I closed my eyes and
gave in. I didn't want to give this up, not for the world, but somehow I didn't think Misty
would appreciate having to share me with Gary.
I don't know how long we were like that, but my brain eventually took over and
made me force him off before I lost myself, before I changed my mind, before I suggested
something ludicrous as a means of escape from my future.
But I couldn't do that, and I knew it. I couldn't leave my mother behind, or my
friends, for one person, even if he could have been the love of my life.
"Gary... We can't see each other anymore. This has to stop."
He looked at me, teasing expression melting to hurt confusion. "What do you
mean? Why?"
"You know why, Delia will kill both of us if she finds out. As much as she loves
me, she's not gonna like me leaving my girlfri-" I stopped, sighed, raised my left hand to
indicate the engagement ring "-my fiancee in favor of a guy."
His eyes widened in shock, then he glared. "You proposed?" He looked ready to
spit at me in disdain.
"No, she did," I defended, "And with my mother standing in the next room doing a
terrible job of pretending not to listen, I couldn't just say 'Sorry, Misty, it's not that I
didn't have the initiative, really it's that I'm secretly meeting Gary for love romps all
across the map', you know?" I sighed, leaning back against the door. "I can't believe the
'out training' excuse lasted as long as it did..."
Gary turned his back to me, obviously fuming. I scanned my brain for anything
helpful to say, but nothing came.
"Why don't we run off?" Gary suggested, but the tone in his voice told me he
knew that it was a bad idea. "Go somewhere no one knows us. Leave this stupid little
town and get far away. It couldn't be that hard..."
"You know we can't do that, you're the only able-bodied person helping Professor
Oak around here, and abandoning my mother is just cruel."
"We could stay here, then, you could just lay low for a while, not go out during
day light hours or something until Misty leaves and send a note to your mom telling her
not to worry-"
"Yeah, leave it up to Radio Mom to keep a secret like that, come on, Gary! As
much as I wouldn't mind being locked in the bedroom all day, do you really think that's a
good idea?" I was starting to sound a bit harsh, but I couldn't help it. As much as I cared
for Gary, I couldn't be so irresponsible, not like this.
Gary turned to face me, anger seeping from him in waves so hot I could feel it,
eyes bright with tears he was desperately trying not to shed. "Don't you care about what
we have at all?" He was striving not to shout, but I could tell he wanted to. "Forget that
stupid girl! What do you need her for? You have me!"
"Now you're sounding like a brat," I told him, hardening my expression. "Gary,
this is not all about you, there are way more people involved in this, you know that!"
He slapped me so hard I hit the floor. When I looked up, the tears were falling.
"Why can't it be about just you and me? Why can't it be about us, forget those
other people who would be so jealous of something so precious if they only knew about
it?" His shoulders shook with contained rage and pain. I pulled myself to my feet, stared
him in the eye, and slapped him right back. He staggered back, but didn't fall. I didn't
have the heart to hit him as hard, or maybe he was stronger than me. I tried to ignore the
surprise on his face as I told him "Nothing precious lasts forever, and you know just as
well as I do that our families rely on us more than anything. You know they wouldn't
accept this." That's when I realized I was crying, too.
"How can you say that when you've got the same tears I do?!" Gary half-sobbed.
"Shut up!" I snapped back, unable to think of something more intelligent.
"Don't tell me to shut up, you moron!" He punched my shoulder hard. "Don't you
dare come here and tell me to shut up!"
"Don't hit me!" I shot back, punching forward and landing it on his ribs.
"Fuck you!" His fist connected with my cheek, and then it turned into a real
brawl. I kicked forward, hitting his thigh just above the knee, to which he responded with
a supressed shriek of anger and launching forward towards my stomach, elbow first. I
knotted up my stomach muscles, but it still hurt, and the impact threw me off balance and
we hit the floor. The tile in the front hall was cold, but neither of us cared; we were too
busy trying to draw blood. Teeth bit down into my shoulder. I grabbed his hair and pulled
back and up, using my other hand to push his shoulder and flip him onto his back next to
me, rolling on top of him with my knee at his groin and pinning his wrists next to his head.
He shifted somehow, and the next thing I knew the positions were reversed; I had
forgotten how fast he was. He rested his knees on the floor on either side of my waist, his
feet between my legs, and he leaned back to pin me down completely.
Both of us sat still, trying to catch our breaths.
"Why are you doing this?" He asked softly, sobs still undertoning his words. Tears
were still rolling freely. I turned my face away from his. I felt his body shake, and then
felt him lean forward. I could see from the corner of my eye that his eyes were closed
tightly, still trying to stop the tears, and brushed his cheek against mine. "Are you really
trying to destroy both our lives?" He chuckled lightly through the pain lacing his voice.
"Over her, of all people?" I closed my eyes tightly, trying to block out the sensation of his
breath on my neck, his lips brushing over skin. "Is this really what you want? What you
need?"
I considered trying to move, realized that I couldn't, not with him sitting on top of
me like that. I heaved a sigh. He spoke again: "You never were good at being honest with
your feelings..."
I screwed my eyes shut tight, trying to block him out; all that did was make it
easier to feel where he was, what he was doing, and all I wanted to do was give in.
"I don't want her," I conceded finally, and I could feel the delight radiating off of
him. "But I can't just say no, not now."
"You would rather betray your lover and yourself in favor of preserving the
feelings of a girl who would be happier with someone who could honestly love her?"
"Shut up," I whispered, because I knew he was right and I knew I would hate
myself later, and I could feel the tears building up again and all I wanted to do was run
away where none of this people could touch me again-
Lips against mine, hands releasing their grip on my wrists to caress my face and
neck, and of their own accord my hands went to his waist and hair, oh that hair that had
no sense of direction and seemed only to beckon for me to lose my fingers in it, lose
myself in him and never want to be found, that smell that was purely his and that no stupid
girl could ever replace.
I cried good and hard, then.
He stood up, wrapping his arms around my upper torso and lifting. "Let's go get
cleaned up," he said, and I nodded. We would definitely be sharing the shower.
*